The Urahara Shop Computer
Disclaimer: Touhou Project and all its official characters, concepts, locations, etcetera is owned by ZUN. Bleach and all its official characters, concepts, locations, etcetera is owned by Tite Kubo. Naruto and all known and official characters, locations, worlds, etcetera belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I do not own anything else considered cameo from anime, games, and etcetera. I do not own any plot details derived with given permission from the story Soul of Fire by Zeionia aka Disturbed. All I own are my original characters like Sekai Ishtal.
Author's Note: Yes, Zei knows of this. I asked for permission. This does not have any form of impact to his story. By the way, if you got time to read this, go read the actual story; it's really good. Read it. :3
Soul of Alternative Fire
Ichigo was glad to be home. Since his leaving for the Chūnin Exams, he had missed the birthdays for Yuzu and Karin. He had made his promise to celebrate together upon his return. Finding the Nibi no Nekomata (although he didn't say anything to Kurenai when he found the disguised demon cat) and giving the disguised twin-tailed cat to Yuzu was one birthday gift. And he had this feeling that Kurenai-sensei was likely thinking about the few times Kon had been in attendance in one of Yuzu's extravagant dresses and outfits, and the cat likely going to be under this "torture".
Yuzu immediately named the cat Chen. When asked why, she just smiled and replied, "For some reason I'm reminded of Gensōkyō." No one noticed Ichigo twitch at the casual name drop of the supposed land of fantasy that supposedly does not exist. And the shinobi had no clue what this Gensōkyō place was; when prying, Yuzu just directed away to other conversation topics.
So, Sandy and Chen were left to get to know one another, while Ichigo was checking out the rest of the things unpacked that they did bring with them when leaving Karakura. Good food was being made in the kitchen, a delicious birthday cake currently baking in the oven. Yes, despite the incidences from the Chūnin Exams, Ichigo was at home being with his two sisters he loved very much.
"So, Ichigo, how were the Chūnin Exams?"
"It was okay," he answers Karin, helping in the kitchen while Yuzu was tending to the arriving guests that Naruto invited.
"Will the house be big enough for our guests, though?"
"It'll be fine, Ichigo. Besides, it'll be nice to meet the rest of Naruto's friends."
Ichigo nodded. He knows Team Gai intimately enough (via their spars now and then), and of course having been the third teammate for Konohamaru and Hanabi he's since began seeing them as his friends. Then there's Hanabi's sister, Hinata. And Team Seven. For some reason, Ichigo could not shake away this strange feeling he's been having ever since he walked through the village gates. Ichigo discussed about how Hinata was interested in Kukaku's fireworks Kidō, and how maybe he'll prepare fireworks and give a show for the village. Karin talked about the things she and Yuzu have been doing while he had been out of the village at the Chūnin Exams in Sunagakure no Sato.
Around ten minutes later, there was a loud knocking at the front door of the house, interrupting all conversation within the house.
"I'll check who that is," said Ichigo, as Naruto got up from his seat by Sakura and his Karin.
"You sure, Ichigo?"
"Yeah. It won't take even a few seconds, Naruto."
Ichigo grabs the remote off the coffee table for the TV that wasn't there the last time Team Seven visited as house-warming guests and he turns it on. Displayed on the TV in the living room, after Ichigo switched to the security feed channel, revealed – in the point of view for the Konoha shinobi – an unidentified man. Someone who was never seen before in all of Konohagakure no Sato was standing at the front door of the home that now belonged to the recently moved-in Kurosaki Family.
The stranger had vivid purple eyes, fair skin, unruly black hair reaching down to just an inch past the neckline (the style for it to be messy appeared to be made in such a way), and he wore strange clothing that looked very different to the clothing the Kurosaki Clan once wore when they first showed up several weeks ago with a trading caravan. The clothes in question: black trousers, a six button double-breasted tailcoat, white blouse, a grey vest, and polished black oxfords. On his shirt cuffs and red tie he sports an intricately-designed metal crest they couldn't identify.
One glaring thing the ninja noticed was the man's ears were at a long triangular shape. Oh, he is also looking towards the security camera aimed at him, and was sticking both hands up into the air. Only the middle fingers are extended in the double rude gesture.
"Fuck you, Ichigo," the unidentified young man captured on camera calls out Ichigo's name as if in familiarity, "ya gonna let me in or what?"
Inside the home, a groan leaves Ichigo's lips.
"Is that Uncle Sekai?" questions Karin (Ichigo's sister).
Ichigo did not comment, scoffing to himself with a muttering of unintelligible words as he heads to the door. Undoing security seals placed on the door, Ichigo invites in their guest. The man's voice was cheerful sounding.
"Hey Ichigo! Long time no see, eh? Been awhile since the incident..."
"Sekai! What are you doing here?" Ichigo asks the purple-eyed elf yōkai.
"Things got very hectic back at home Ichigo, and I did some things that were strongly frowned upon so… I had to leave and lay low elsewhere. So, I decided to stay with you and your sisters."
He reaches into his back pocket as the two men enter the living room, and Sekai pulls out a large duffle bag. How such an object could fit in such a small pocket was a mystery. Ichigo nearly fell in surprise when the bag was casually tossed his way, and the surprising weight the bag felt, but our lovable berry caught the item with ease. The shinobi noticed a sword strapped to the back of his waist, just there in the open and casual-like; it raised their danger senses a bit. And when they noticed that his ears were no longer pointed, and shaped like normal, they were starting to get very suspicious of this visitor.
"What's this?" Ichigo questions the heavy-duty duffle bag.
"Oh just a few things I swiped from your home, Ichigo. Your things, stuff that belong to your sisters, and of course I packed half my house in it. So we'll handle that later. For now, where's my hugs?"
Yuzu giggled and ran up to Sekai, throwing her arms around the elf.
"Hi, Sekai!"
"Yuzu! Darling, so good to see you again! You've become a beautiful woman, haven't ya?" He looks to Karin. "And you're still a tomboy, huh?"
"Bite me," Karin said, but nonetheless hugs Sekai as well.
"If I did, Ichigo would kick my ass," Sekai replies with a grin.
"You're absolutely right I would," Ichigo mutters, shaking his head. Yes, it's a surprise seeing Sekai here in the village. He sets the bag on the nearby table, ignoring the weird looks from the shinobi. "What are you doing here? Really?"
Releasing the two girls, Sekai faces Ichigo, mindful of the strangers that likely were Ichigo's guests. "I know what's been happening lately. Problems that I've made my business, and I know how certain people are deciding they have the power to fuck with your life, and the lives of your darling sisters, Ichigo. So those douche bags can blow me. Listen… we're family. I made a promise to your mother a long time ago before your sisters were born, Ichigo, that I would keep you three safe. And fuck anybody that gets in my way."
Ichigo stares at Sekai.
"I was at your side during your years when your life got suddenly active, I was there when THAT man had been defeated and imprisoned, and I was there when Kūgo was messing with our family. And I'm going to be at your side for this incident."
"Yeah. I appreciate it, Sekai."
Sekai gave Ichigo a manly/family hug.
"You are not alone, Ichigo, okay?"
"I hear you, Sekai. Thank you."
Sekai smiles back to Ichigo, who was very grateful for this blessing in disguise.
"Now then… considering I'm a few weeks late, I haven't forgotten your birthday gifts, girls." And somehow, bizarrely, he pulls out two complete strange-looking outfits wrapped in a dry cleaner bag on a clothes hanger from behind his back. Ichigo noted Sekai did this in a Kisuke-ish manner.
Sekai smirks. "I got these outfits from two friends of mine, and re-stitched and refitted them so they would fit you girls. So, enjoy."
Karin and Yuzu accept the outfits. For Yuzu, it was a shrine maiden's outfit in a red and white theme, with the shrine maiden sandals. For Karin, she received a type of frilly dress that was mainly black and white, and it included in the outfit a pointed black hat with white bow around the brim and a pair of black shoes.
"Where did you get those clothes from?" Ichigo had to ask.
"Marisa and Reimu," was the short answer.
Ichigo gestures to the butler uniform. "And the suit?"
"I was on my way home to Remilia-sama doing some shopping for teas and other food items, as well as doing a few errands for Yukari, Alice, Nitori, and Sakuya, when I was ambushed. I fought back against those who likely followed the orders of Forty-Six. And like I said certain businesses I now made my own and I'm now in hiding after taking them out. I didn't get the time to change into my adventurer's outfit when I went to see your dad and Kisuke."
"Adventurer's Outfit...?"
"Been playing too much RPG games," he shrugs off the look he got from Ichigo with a smirk.
"Whatever." He drags Sekai over to their house guests. "Okay, so this is our cousin, Uzumaki Naruto. And these are all his friends. Everyone, this guy is our uncle/godfather/whatever, Ishtal Sekai."
"Howdy," Sekai responds with a wave, before looking to Ichigo. "Uncle slash godfather slash whatever? Really?"
"What?"
Sekai gave him a look. "Hn." Naruto twitched hearing that verbal tick. "So, that Naruto kid; is he related to Uzumaki Mamoru?"
Sekai noted how the guests took notice of his casual dropping of Mamoru, but did not react to it.
Ichigo nodded. "Yes he is, Sekai."
"Huh? Small world. I met Mamoru a long time ago. I was minding my own business when suddenly a flash of light blinds me briefly, faded away only to be replaced by screaming, and the moment I looked up to greet the source," Sekai smacks the back of his right hand into the palm of his left hand, "BAM! I get a face full of crotch! The first thing I did when I recovered from getting slammed by a human meteorite was punch the guy in the face for tea bagging me when I was hiking the mountains."
"What? You punch our grandfather in the face?" Ichigo shouted.
Karin however was giggling over the explained area of Uncle Sekai getting tea bagged.
"Hey? What was I supposed to do? I apologized afterward. Got to know him after awhile…"
Ichigo groans, face palming.
"Grandpa tea bagged you, Sekai?" Yuzu asks, rather innocently.
Karin's laughs grew louder.
Sekai mock glares at his god children. "Hey! Hey! Hey! Enough with the giggling Karin… it's not THAT funny."
"What? It is funny," the dark-haired girl replied.
Sekai rolls his eyes. "Oh yeah, Ichigo, I packed the game consoles that belong to your sisters, and mine. Can ya hook them up to the TV? I'm going to help Yuzu in the kitchen. I need to wind down and slaving in the kitchen sounds good right now."
"The food is almost done, so just wait awhile longer," Yuzu informs everyone.
"I'll help Ichi-nii after I bring the clothes to our room," Karin tells Ichigo as Sekai and Yuzu left the room to head to the kitchen.
Once the elf and Yuzu were safely in the kitchen, Yuzu looks to Sekai. "So you have our stuff in that magic duffle bag?"
"Yup. Everything I believed you, Ichigo, and Karin would gladly enjoy having, even if you all no longer consider Karakura your home, which also includes oddly this ice blue vibrator in Karin's dresser drawer." At Yuzu's look, Sekai smiled. "As long as she keeps her special toy hidden from Ichigo, I will not say a word. Besides, you girls are both grown and mature young women. One of these days, Ichigo no longer will have to play the part of protector when you're both fully independent in the universe. The same with me…"
Yuzu smiles warmly to Sekai. Despite how odd that small bit of conversation was, unlike Ichigo or Isshin, Sekai was relatively open regarding certain adult topics.
"So… is Ichigo still a virgin?"
Yuzu sighs. "Sadly, yes."
Sekai scoffed. "Sheesh. Ichigo really needs to let loose. I was sure he'd bang Rukia by now, or his childhood friend Tatsuki."
Yuzu giggles. "Yeah. Ichi-nii really needs to loosen up one of these days."
"Maybe after we've settled the business with back home, we'll get Ichigo laid."
Yuzu gives a vibrant thumbs-up. "Yosh! A great idea, Uncle Sekai!"
Ichigo shivered a bit back in the living room, finishing hooking up the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 to the TV via HDMI ports. He was also ignoring the questions from the fellow ninja wondering what the plastic boxes were he was hooking to the TV. And why did he feel like punching Goat-Face and Kisuke the next time he sees them?
"Is that a broom closet, Yuzu?"
Sekai is pointing to a door next to the fridge.
"Yup."
The disguised elf nods.
"Hold on a moment, dear."
Sekai opens the door, enters the closet, and closes the door behind him. Thirty seconds later the door opens and Sekai re-emerges.
He is now wearing dark green cargo pants with multiple zipper side pockets, black combat belt and an additional belt loosely around the waistline, and long black leather boots. Knee guards are sewn onto the knee areas of the pant legs, and the leggings are tucked into the boots. Yuzu counted a total of four black cords dangling off the hips connected to the belt loops of his pants. He is also wearing a combat-styled dark gray vest with pronounced collar, zipped up, with attached triangular pauldrons. The vest was short so his toned stomach is exposed, and it had flame-like decal on the sides of the vest. Under the vest he's wearing a sleeveless fishnet shirt. A gold band is clamped on his left bicep, and he wears two identical gold bracelets.
"Is this your Vocaloid cosplay outfit?" Yuzu asks her uncle.
"Yup."
"Don't confuse the ninja, Sekai. They won't understand your sudden wardrobe change."
He smirked. "What? They can't take a mind-fuck?"
"No. They're mostly paranoid. But they mean well despite their mild paranoia," Yuzu explained. "Oh, and hide your ears unless otherwise. No pranking."
"Fine. No pranking, Yuzu. Promise."
Sekai's elf ears shift under a magic illusion, and they return to being normal human ears.
"Good. Now help me bring the food out and stay for mine and Karin's birthday."
"Of course, Yuzu. That's why I'm here visiting my favorite god kids. And after the party, I'll clean the dishes."
And that elicits a giggle from Yuzu.
The food and drinks were brought out into the dining room, and Yuzu announced the food was ready. The ninja piled into the room, where a stack of plates were ready for each guest to grab. The spread of food Sekai and Yuzu brought out was mouth-watering.
"Huh? When did he have the time to change clothes? And what's he even wearing?" questioned Naruto, his eyes squinting and staring at Sekai with suspicion.
"Sorry, but the secret to changing with a spare set of clothes is a secret I cannot divulge even under extreme inhuman torture."
The shinobi did not know if he was joking or not.
"He keeps clothes in his pocket," Yuzu casually blurted. "It's magic."
And Yuzu told me not to prank and yet she's pranking them. Sneaky little girl, was Sekai's thought.
Yuzu smiles at Sekai. Ichigo rolls his eyes.
"Alright, enough, you two."
"Sorry Ichi-niichan."
"Sorry my prude godchild who needs to get laid soon, either with his childhood friend, or his building harem of hot ladies from over the years." He said all that with such a straight face. Then he adds in the end, "Giggity."
Ichigo sputtered at Sekai's so-called straight apology.
"Building harem of hot ladies?" Sai whispers to Naruto.
Kakashi stopped the urge to giggle.
Karin (Ichigo's sister) sighs audibly. "Uncle Sekai? Stop acting like Goat-Face."
He pulls off a scandalized face. "What? I'm not acting like Goat-Face! I'm trying to channel Urahara!"
"That's even worse!" Ichigo yells at the man.
As to answer Ichigo nonverbally, Sekai whips out a paper fan and a green white-striped bucket hat, snaps it open, puts the hat on top his head, and covers the lower half of his face with the fan. Only the twitches of the corners of his mouth indicate he was offering a shit-eating smile.
"Fuck you, Sekai," Ichigo says, giving the middle finger.
The fan snaps shut. "Like them? Kisuke gave me his spare fan and hat before I left. I can give them to you if you want?"
"Keep them," the orange-haired teen said, grabbing his plate.
The fan was pocketed, but Sekai opted to continue wearing Kisuke's spare hat. "Okay, okay, enough fooling around. We got food here. Let's enjoy the party. You girls can try out the clothes I got you later."
The birthday party went off well, despite the Kurosaki Clan getting a very surprise visitor (who was now going to bunk in with them). Naruto and the others were going to be polite and just keep quiet about the guy visiting who also apparently got into the village.
"I'll check up later with Izumo if he's entered the village through the gates. Just keep an eye on him. There's something strange about him," Kakashi whispered to Naruto.
Naruto nodded. There was definitely something strange about the guy. Earlier on the monitor screen he had pointed ears, but now he doesn't. He wondered if it was a Genjutsu he was using. In the corner of the living room, as guests filed in to enjoy, Chen and Sandy were playing Poker while Kon had turned on the PlayStation 3 and decided to start one of Yuzu's digital game titles she owns.
An action-y ringtone blares, and Sekai reached into his side pocket of the right pant leg, and pulls out a long but thin rectangular device.
"Ah. It's Yukari."
He hits the Call button on the iPhone and puts it to his ear.
"Hey Yukari-chan. What's up?"
Sekai sets his plate of food down and stood up from his seat and walks off into the kitchen for better privacy.
"What was that?" Naruto pointed out.
"It's a cell phone," Ichigo answers. "It's an advanced piece of technology that's very common use back home."
"How does Sekai still get reception this far from home, though?"
"I had Kisuke hack it years ago when this model was first sold, then had my friend Yukari mod it more, Karin," Sekai answers from the kitchen. "Huh? Oh, that was Ichigo's sister asking me how I get reception here when I'm far from Japan. Don't worry."
Ichigo rolls his eyes. Knowing the man, the orange-haired teen wouldn't be surprised if Sekai manages to get the only home in the entire village full of shinobi of various rank actual internet access; as far as Ichigo sees, this world likely wouldn't even know what internet was, or the game consoles the elf brought over.
Ichigo met Sekai before the start of the Winter War, and was directly involved with the major fights in the fake area of Karakura Town up to Ichigo's arrival from Hueco Mundo. Sekai met and befriended Isshin and Kisuke long before Ichigo and his sisters were born, and also knew Masaki before her death at the claws of Grand Fisher. Ichigo only had glancing knowledge of Gensōkyō because of a passing encounter with Yukari Yakumo through Sekai, and thus knows that his "uncle" is really a four hundred plus years old elf yōkai. Yuzu and Karin learn of Sekai's origins after the Xcution Arc.
Regardless of whether Touhou Project's profile of Sekai Ishtal includes the Bleach universe or not, his main weapon is a Zanpakutō called Kurohime (Black Princess), and a .41 caliber model Volcanic Pistol that is magically-augmented.
Ultimately, this has nothing to do with Zei's story. This is a totally separate thing in some alternative universe of Zei's AU storyline. I did this for fun. And to illiterate: he knows of this because I sent a PM and asked if I could do this.
I was tempted to include Gin Ichimaru in this story, as in my Touhou Bleach fusion profile, Gin after his death in canon was reborn in the human world (basically within Gensōkyō), somehow still with his spiritual energy levels and his Zanpakutō intact in Hakugyokurou (Tower of White Jade) in the Netherworld, discovered by Youmu Konpaku and Yuyuko Saigyouji. In the end, I didn't. But because I now mentioned my favorite Shinigami of the manga, here's an Omake scene below.
OMAKE: What if Sekai had another friend visiting?
The party ended, the ninja all left, and Sekai took care of the chores by using his magic to have the dishes all cleaned up quickly. As he did this, Sekai was snacking on some leftover crab croquettes.
"Oh yeah, Ichigo, I forgot to mention something. But I didn't want to bring it up because I was not sure as to what those ninja people knew or not know about our situations."
"What is it, Sekai? Is it about Central Forty-Six?"
Sekai shakes his head. "No, not that, actually... we can worry about them later. It's about someone else who will also be living with us helping me helping you and your sisters survive getting tortured by that asshole Kurotsuchi when the time comes we have to fight to the death."
"What is it, Sekai?"
As if God, Kami, and the other deities of various religions heard that response, there was a polite rapping of knuckles on the front door.
"Well, it's to who's knocking on the door."
Ichigo stared at Sekai, instantly on alert. But he heads to the door and he opens the door.
In strolls a silver-haired man wearing a familiar white garb, and a tantō sheathed at his side. His squinting eyes almost piercing through Ichigo's myriad of flashing emotions, and that fox or snake-like smile permeates the face of a supposedly dead man.
"We meet again, Ichi-kun," Ichimaru Gin greets the Fullbring/Shinigami/Hollow/Quincy hybrid, with that cocky attitude and the lazy wave of his right hand.
"Yeah. I'm sure you remember Ichimaru-kun, Ichigo. He's going to help us in our fight against the bastards of Central Forty-Six," Sekai tells his god son, shutting the door to the house before any ANBU returned from their seconds shift change.