The Urahara Shop Computer
Disclaimer: Bleach and all its official characters, concepts, locations, etcetera is owned by Tite Kubo. Naruto and all known and official characters, locations, worlds, etcetera belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I do not own anything else considered cameo from anime, games, and etcetera. I do not own any plot details derived with given permission from the story Soul of Fire by Zeionia aka Disturbed. All I own is my original character Sekai Ishtal.
Author's Note: Have another Chappy. Part of a sub-division spin-off of Soul of Fire. I wanted to show off a fight scene involving Ichigo, Sekai, and the witnesses being the Hokage and the majority of the shinobi force that is Konohagakure no Sato. No mentioning of Touhou in this one. And remember, this does not affect the real plot by Zeionia aka Disturbed whatsoever. This is just for my own weird sense of fun and enjoyment... because I'm cursed with a creativity that won't turn off.
Warning: This chapter contains inappropriate use of doughnut glaze frosting in order to make a cruel prank on poor Ichigo. It's both funny and dirty. Also this is a request by a Guest Reviewer.
Doughnut Glaze Frosting
"What in the hell is this?"
Sekai and Yuzu were in the kitchen when Ichigo's voice broke out in a growing tone of anger. And the two were looking at the orange-haired young man. Yuzu's face looked like she was just splashed by squirting liquid. Not helping that Sekai was in just a pair of pants right now and practically shirtless.
"Not what it looks like," Sekai tells the young man.
"You are so dead."
And Zangetsu materializes, the cloth unwrapping from the blade as it's swung out. And Sekai immediately Zero-Shifted to dodge. The sword and its user vanished as the front door explodes and Sekai is putting a distance (impressive enough for an ordinary civilian) that was closing up by Ichigo. This was the sight witnessed by Naruto, Sakura, Tenten, Neji, Lee, Hinata, Ino, Sai, Kakashi, and Kurenai, as Yuzu left the house, staring at the door now knocked off its hinges.
"Yeesh! Can't a little guy get some sleep here?" Kon's voice drifted, as the soft pat-pat of the lion's paws is heard. Kon emerged, and stared at the destroyed door. "What the hell happened?"
"A prank gone very wrong," Yuzu answered, not minding the white on her face.
Karin stared at her sister Yuzu, and the sticky white liquid draped all over her face. To any outsider just walking in on the scene and coming to the wrong conclusion to what's on Yuzu's face, they would find what happened next very perverted: Karin gave her sister's face a lick, lapping up the white.
"Wait... that's vanilla glaze frosting!" the dark-haired girl exclaims.
Yuzu rolled her eyes. "Well duh. You thought it was-"
The last word of the spoken question is cut off by an explosion. But those surrounding heard the particular adult word. Some faces have a tinting of reddened cheeks. Only Sai showed no indication of blushing.
"You probably wouldn't mind if it was Hitsugaya-san who money shots you, huh?" the blonde teases her sister.
"Don't say things like that so openly, Yuzu!" Karin's face went red.
Kon shakes his head, not wanting to drift into those thoughts. Ichigo would likely kill him for good. "So, what's going on?"
Sekai ran back into view and turned around, just as Ichigo appeared above using his Fullbring powers to move around like a Shinigami's Shunpo.
"Ichigo! Stop!" Naruto shouted, already moving in to intercept. Ichigo was a shinobi of Konoha, and the Kurosaki's uncle/godfather/whatever was only a civilian living in the village. It was against the rules for a ninja to attack a civilian.
Naruto wouldn't make it in time to save Sekai; not that it was needed. The elf in human disguise draws out a katana that was not sheathed sideways along the back of the waist moments ago, and blocks the large khyber knife with an eerie calmness. Under normal rules, the force of a larger object that collides with a smaller object, would output the object with the greater weight pushing away the smaller weight. In the case of a human who was a hybrid of many things, and a guy who is a yōkai in reality with an age span of four hundred plus years (not that Konoha knew any of that tidbit), what happened was Sekai blocking a larger blade without even budging or getting pushed back by the force eluded by the swing.
"Ichi-kun... I hope you realize you're going to repair the door you shattered chasing after me," the elf tells his godson.
"And what about what I saw in the kitchen, you perv?"
"It's just doughnut glaze frosting, Ichi-nii," Yuzu spoke up, holding up a half-empty frosting container and a tipped nozzle equipped to it. "Oh, and it was Sekai's idea for a disturbing perverted prank using your poor innocent sister."
"Yuzu, it was your idea," Sekai argued.
"But isn't it how you take the money shot?" she innocently questions her uncle, faking politeness.
Tenten's mouth was agape, a hand over it. The guys stared, and Kakashi scooted away closer to hide behind Kurenai. Even Karin was staring at her sister with disbelief in her eyes.
Yuzu was innocent, yes, but sometimes she did have a bit of a sadistic pranking streak. Didn't help that Sekai encouraged this from time to time...
"You're a dead elf," Ichigo said, kicking at the man who dodged and blocks another strike from Zangetsu.
The two swordsmen continued their blade of death dance, Ichigo the offense and Sekai more on the defense.
"Wait a minute; I thought your uncle was just a civilian?" Neji questions the Kurosaki sisters.
Karin decided to answer that. "Sekai was our brother's teacher for a time before we came here to Konoha. Some of Ichigo's time spent under uncle Sekai's tutelage was to insure his skills did not rust, and that his resolve would never disappear."
"In fact, we were there for one of Sekai's first lessons for Ichigo, and he told him some philosophical words that he learned from his mother when he was a child," Yuzu inserted herself into the conversation. "I believe the words went as followed: Do not allow yourself to be shaken. Do not weaken your stance. Open your senses. Never allow your guard to break for even a moment's notice."
"That quote was the last words from a dying mother to her son she was leaving behind, and uncle Sekai took those words to heart. He taught those same words to Ichi-nii, taught him how to embrace that creed. And that's why Ichigo is strong."
"Still, Ichigo is breaking a rule: A ninja must never attack or harm a civilian within the village walls," Kakashi spoke up.
Suddenly on the last clashing of swords, Ichigo and Sekai separate and land a considerable distance from one another. That was the cue to break up the fight, as the Konoha-nins went in to subdue both fighters, taking extra caution of the man who was their uncle and godfather as he was revealing himself to be more than just "an ordinary guy with an ordinary life."
Both Shinigami and disguised yōkai vanish.
"Where'd they go?"
ANBU appeared along with Tsunade and several other Jōnin. Quickly behind were Sasuke and the rest of Team Taka.
"What the hell is going on?" Tsunade demanded. "I heard an explosion from here!"
"Kurosaki Ichigo and Ishtal Sekai are fighting," Kakashi informed the Hokage.
"Look up," Karin directed the ninja.
They did look up.
Ichigo raced across the skies above the village. They were high enough that both combatants can get a bird's-eye view of the entire village in a panoramic view. But they were close enough that those on the ground can clearly see two figures dancing in a deadly fight of swords in the air, breaking almost any and all laws of physics.
"Are they... running in the air?" Ino's voice showed pure disbelief in the question.
"Getsuga Tenshō!" Ichigo yells aloud and swung Zangetsu, unleashing an explosion of red and black energy from the large cleaver blade. In the view of Lee, the young man was recalling back to the incident of he and Ichigo getting attacked by the Nuke-nin, and Ichigo unleashing the attack. But this Getsuga Tenshō was a lot bigger than the supposed small attack that happened in the forest months ago.
Sekai smirked. "Mimic Arte: Getsuga Tenshō!" And in an amazing display, Sekai unleashed a copy of the Getsuga Tenshō in both size and power; however his was more teal and green in coloration. Both forces collided and created a devastating explosion in the sky, scaring many civilians in the process. At this point, many of the shinobi forces would believe they were under attack by an enemy force.
"And they've gone overboard again," Karin muttered with a sigh escaping.
"Well, we're in another land, and not back in Karakura, Japan," Kon spoke up. "Maybe it's best that out here, if they at least leave the village walls, can cause no collateral damage to homes and buildings."
"Yeah, just torn up landscapes and forests," Karin reminded the Mod Soul.
"You know, Ichigo, if we're really going to do this, let's move somewhere away from their village. I'm sure our colliding attacks are making the paranoia meters run rampant now," Sekai is heard explaining to Ichigo. "Try and catch me, kid."
And Sekai vanished via a Zero-Shift, a small trailing of shadows left behind.
"Get back here, Sekai!" Ichigo yells after the man, and vanishes as well.
Tsunade stared at the now vacant airspace, before she looks over to and stalks towards Ichigo's sisters.
"What the hell is going on? And why is a civilian and one of my ninja fighting one another? How or why is your uncle capable of doing what we all just witnessed?"
"Just because Sekai's a civilian in your village doesn't mean he's incapable of fighting. It's just that during the Winter War, Ichi-nii and Sekai were both on the same side fighting against the enemy a couple years back," Karin answered.
"But Sekai once told our dad that Ichigo's strengths and his resolve are much stronger than Sekai's strengths. He even told dad that one day Ichigo will surpass even him. Sekai never lies about these kinds of things." Yuzu finished cleaning her face with a wet rag Kon managed to bring out. "What separates Ichigo and Sekai is that while Ichigo worked as a Substitute Shinigami, Sekai was neither a Shinigami or a member or reserve of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads. But they both possess Zanpakutō. And they both have the ability to manipulate reishi and use reiryoku."
"Not to mention our uncle/godfather can also use another energy force unlike chakra. I believe it's translated as mahō, or magic in the Western languages."
Tsunade stared at the girls in disbelief. Magic?
To civilians, seeing shinobi use and manipulate chakra, they would claim what they do was a feat of magic. She almost scoffed at the notion of the word magic being used. But what they all saw, she had to doubt herself; that Ichigo was just one headache after another. And NOW adding their uncle into the equation makes it complex.
"Maybe you girls should tell Lady Hokage that Sekai doesn't know how to manipulate chakra?" Kon suggested.
He was heard, of course. And the shinobi were now stunned hearing this revelation.
Naruto voiced his thoughts. "That guy can't use chakra? How?"
"I believe Kon is right," Neji speaks up. "I briefly used my Byakugan but turned it off before I got blinded by the twin Getsuga Tenshō attacks. Sekai-san has no chakra, nor is he using any."
"Your family relatives are so weird," Sasuke told Naruto.
Karin shakes her head at that voiced opinion. Yuzu just smiles.
"I'm sure they'll be fine," said Yuzu.
"But they will no doubt be attracting unwanted attention," Tsunade tells the girl, turning to her shinobi. "Listen up! Spread out and find the two! Try and subdue them if you can! But do not get directly in their way!"
"Hai, Hokage-sama!" The assembled ninja cry out and vanish in Shunshin to fulfill the Hokage's command.
The only ones not gone were Karin, Yuzu, and Kon. They were more concerned about how to repair the broken door, and Karin berating Yuzu on how not to make Ichigo purposely mad at their godfather even if said godfather acted like a pervert from time to time.
Why did Tsunade suddenly recall old memories with Jiraiya...?
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Star-shaped energy blasts were fired. Held in the left hand of the elf yōkai was a .41 caliber model Volcanic Pistol, emblazoned with magical runes and augmented by magical means to use and draw upon spirit energy and magic to form the weapon's physical ammunition. Ichigo was dodging each and every single magical gunshot blast, crossing the distance and swinging, unleashing another nonverbal Getsuga Tenshō. Sekai drew shadows around himself and vanished in a fading black blur, only to reappear behind Ichigo and already in mid-swing of his blade at Ichigo's back. The orange-haired Shinigami/Quincy/Hollow/Fullbring hybrid deftly blocks by repositioning Zangetsu into a blocking maneuver.
"I really hate your perverted tendencies, Sekai."
"Yeah, but its part of my very unique charm, Ichigo. Besides, it's not like I'd really do that with any of your sisters. Although, Tōshirō might like to with Karin..."
Ichigo's reiatsu spiked.
"I'll kill him if he ever touches Karin sexually," Ichigo hissed.
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Tōshirō sneezed.
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"Or threaten bodily harm before eventually accepting him as your future brother-in-law," Sekai tells the young man.
Sekai used Zero-Shift to move a fair distance, wrapping his magic around his body.
"Strength and force is good, but without agility you're done for, Ichigo! Artistic: Twilight (芸術的 「夕暮れ」)!"
Sekai shapes his danmaku sign into a very large double six-pointed star sign behind his back, before with a thrust of his hands forward, almost to the point his hands would collide with a clap, the multiple star and diamond-shaped energy bullets fire at Ichigo in a thick wave of light. The large star-shaped bullets would explode into smaller six-pointed patterns and unleash their own barrage, while the diamond bullets moved in their trajectory. Ichigo would recall a bit about how Sekai described these Spell Cards used by those living in Gensōkyō, and began to twist and move his body through any of the small openings to avoid getting struck by any of the bullets. Most often tend to explode or cause physical damage to the enemy. The small opening taken allowed Ichigo to unleash a reishi arrow from a hastily-formed bow, forcing Sekai to cancel the Spell Card's attack pattern; he did take the hit from the arrow.
"Alright, try this then. Shadow Sign: Rapier (影符 「レイピア」)!"
Long rapier blades conjured by shadowy light form around Sekai and then launch like missiles. Their trajectory path would leave behind a small wave of danmaku that spread in a lazy wave pattern. The following bullet curtains are easily avoidable. The rapiers however were the main threats of impalement. Ichigo just blocked or struck away the shadow magic constructs. Then Sekai shot down, barreling at Ichigo as more of the shadowy blades form. This time in its non-Spell Card form, Sekai was manipulating shadow magic and firing them like needles from a machine gun. Ichigo weaved and dodged the blades, countering on the seventeenth dodge with Hadō #4: Byakurai. The lightning spell was blocked by Sekai's counter-fire of his gun. In a swirl of shadows, the elf appears behind Ichigo and struck him down, pain coursing through the young man as he fell to the ground. Ichigo recovered quick enough to flip right-side up and land skidding on his feet. Reaching up, he swiped his hand over his face and his Hollow traits emerged. He takes aim with a pointed finger.
"Cero!"
An explosion of black energy is unleashed by Ichigo's Hollow powers.
Sekai was letting out a roar, as a rainbow aura surged. "Dream Sign: Harmony Beam (夢符 「調和はり」)!"
And Sekai counters the Cero with a double helix-twin shaped beam of rainbow lasers with trailing sparkles of energy bullets spiraling outward. The explosions led Naruto first to the sight, in sheer disbelief of the rainbow attack he sees being the dominate winner of the collision. Ichigo teleported away with a Sonido, the tell sign of the static burst indicating where the young man ended up at, while Sekai's shadows wrapped around him and he emerged from the ground in the pool of darkness.
"Remember your lessons, Ichigo!" Sekai's voice was sharp and commanding. A far cry from the soft and caring tones the man eluded in public. "You want to kick my ass for that poor prank, you're welcome to try. But I'm going to make you work for your victory! Put away Zangetsu! Use your Quincy abilities!"
Ichigo did just that, sheathing Zangetsu, his eyes returning to normal, and formed the familiar black cross guard when he first dove into his Fullbring abilities. Then he strengthens his reiryoku into the formed bow, forming a round circle connecting the cross together. A hail of multiple blue glowing arrows of spirit energy was fired. It was not like the storm that Uryū can unleash easily, but it was impressive enough. Impressive for Sekai to weave through the arrows, and forcing Naruto to move out of harm's way less he gets caught in the crossfire. The arrows were fast, though, and Naruto gritted his teeth as one of the arrows grazed his favorite jacket and ripped a light sheared hole in the right sleeve. Sekai crossed that distance dodging fired arrows as Ichigo sprinted around, trying to sniper the elf yōkai.
The gun is drawn and Sekai takes aim and fires magic bullets from the weapon. Some of the bullets would whizz past Ichigo, others would shatter and destroy a reishi arrow or two. Bow versus gun. It was the gun's each firing that would let out loud-enough bangs, reminding Naruto of bombs or explosive tags setting off.
In a swirl of leaves and wind, Sasuke appeared next to Naruto.
"Naruto? You found them?"
"Yeah, but look at Ichigo. He's just so amazing."
Sasuke looked, and indeed he found what he was seeing as interesting to behold. He learned a bit about Ichigo from Naruto when he returned to the village. This guy was a soldier, classified as Shinigami (believed to be an intimidation factor for the naming of the soldiers), and apparently had a Kekkei Genkai.
"Maybe this is what Ichigo meant last time by practicing his Quincy abilities," Naruto is heard muttering aloud.
Quincy, huh? Interesting, indeed, thought Sasuke.
Eventually after the exchange of attacks both fighters dove into a full-on weapons brawl against each other with Zangetsu versus Kurohime.
Suddenly pillars of wood grew from the ground, but Yamato, who showed up, did not capture his targets, for Ichigo and Sekai vanished. Ichigo reappeared away with Hirenkyaku, while a pooling of shadows indicated Sekai's reemergence.
"Stop! Don't you think you've had enough fighting?" Naruto shouted, rushing out to the calming battle field.
Ichigo's answer was to swing around and bash poor Sekai over the back of the head, sending him face planting the dirt hard accompanied by the scream of pain from the man.
Ichigo wraps the cloth around Zangetsu with his trademark swing and sheath motion. "Yeah... I feel good now."
"Ow!" When Sekai eventually recovered, he was glaring hard at his godson with tears in his purple eyes. "You fucker! That hurt!"
"Then next time don't pretend to be coming on my sister's face with glaze frosting, you dirty-ass pervert!" Ichigo yells back at Sekai.
"It was her idea to prank your ass, Ichigo!"
"Only because you appealed to her prankster side we never knew existed!" was Ichigo's counter.
"You wanna fight again, Strawberry?" Sekai threatened, unholstering his gun and waving it like a mad man in Ichigo's face.
Ichigo was unfazed, glaring back whilst grabbing hold of Zangetsu's handle once more. "I'll wipe the countryside with your ass, elf!"
=0=0=0=0=
Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, in the World of the Living, looks up, about two or so bites away from finishing off a large meaty sandwich from a local sub sandwich shop in Tokyo.
"Why do I get the feeling I'm missing a fight between Ichigo and someone else he knows?" he questions himself.
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"Why do you keep calling him an elf?" Naruto asks Ichigo. In thought, he was recalling how he remembered once seeing the man with long pointed ears before on the Kurosaki's monitor display in the living room of their home.
Ichigo gave Sekai a steely look. "No reason."
Naruto did not accept the answer, but did not voice an objection to the answer.
"Kurosaki Ichigo, we'll need to bring you to the Hokage. Same with your godfather slash uncle," Yamato informed the Genin.
Ichigo and Sekai back down. Zangetsu and Kurohime vanish so they wouldn't be confiscated by the humans. Sekai holsters his gun.
"Looks like we did go overboard, again..."
"And Yuzu will give us Unohana's patented Smile again..."
Both men felt a chill run down their spines.
"I wonder why Unohana-chan found it prudent to teach Yuzu how to use her Smile," mutters Sekai.
"We should return to Konoha and see Lady Hokage-sama," Yamato spoke up, stepping up to the men.
"Yamato, I should be the one to bring them. Ichigo is my cousin, after all," Naruto told the older man.
Yamato looks to Naruto, before nodding eventually. "Very well. You'll bring them to Lady Hokage-sama."
Sekai sighs.
"Looks like the woman's going to be a bit pissed for our spat, huh Ichigo."
"You started this whole mess. You take the fall," Ichigo told Sekai.
Sekai shrugs, as a cascade of darkness began to pool around, notifying the three ninjas.
"Fine. I'll drag us back to the village."
Before the three veteran ninja can react, Sekai's shadows surged. In the views of Naruto, Sasuke, and Yamato, it was as if they were suddenly swallowed up in pure darkness. The light fading away rapidly, and what looks like invisible or darker blurs against a blackish backdrop. And then their eyes are suddenly reintroduced to light and they were briefly blinded, taking a few moments to readjust to the sudden light. Ichigo was less unfazed, having traveled once or twice through Sekai's unique teleportation technique. Sekai had also brought them in the middle of concerned shinobi, and a surprised Hokage.
"That was bizarre and I never want to feel that disorientation ever again," Sasuke mutters, rubbing his eyes of the fading light glare.
"Sorry, Ichigo and I went a little overboard in our spat. The only damage was some trees, the ground, and our door to the house," Sekai apologized.
Tsunade was quick to react with her usual poker face glare upon both boys.
"Kurosaki Ichigo, what you did earlier was against the rules. A shinobi must never attack a civilian. But from what we saw earlier before you two pulled your disappearing trick, I'm beginning to think your godfather is more than just a ordinary civilian."
And her glare is directed from Ichigo to Sekai.
Sekai just stares back, unfazed by the small leak of KI emanating from the irate woman.
"I'm a civilian, yes. In your village," Sekai clarifies. "I never denied being a fighter. You chose not to acknowledge that when I made a small hint to it. So it's not my fault I'm capable of matching Ichigo in par of strength and agility, and of course using spirit energy and magic."
Yuzu and Karin walks up to their brother and uncle.
"Sekai, Ichi-nii, we both decided that since you two are the men of the house, it's your duty to fix the doorway Ichi-nii broke in the first place chasing you, Sekai."
"Sorry girls, but it looks like the Hokage wants to have me interrogated and Ichigo spoken to in private because I'm hiding secrets she doesn't like and Ichigo in trouble for fighting me," Sekai tells the girls.
Yuzu's voice went flat as she gave off a perfect Unohana expression. "Ichi-nii, Sekai, I think it's best the door is repaired before you go have a private conversation in the Hokage Tower."
Sekai and Ichigo stare at Yuzu for a few moments. The elf then looks to Ichigo.
"I'll get the tool box, you get the door."
Ichigo agreed. "Got it..."
Yuzu's kind Smile dominated her face.
And that's the last of this. I think I'll go back to trying to come up with more original Bleach one-shot ideas and such. Maybe some x-overs not from Touhou Project or WWE...
As for the story Soul of Fire by Zeionia aka Disturbed; that story is really good and has a wonderful plot. Do me a favor and go give that guy's story a read. You will not regret it.
Thansk for reading these weird writings of mine, and leave some reviews if you do like them. Or review and pass along ideas you want me to try writing next. I am always open to suggestions from my readers.