VIP Protection
When Alan opened his eyes, all he could see was an empty dark room. Not like it was unfamiliar though, he had drawn it quite frequently over the years.
That said, although the where wasn't a mystery, the why certainly was. He had been walking down the street a couple of blocks away from Black Hat's manor, from what he could recall. So why was he here, in Black Hat's lab, with all limbs strapped to what could pass for an electric chair?
Click.
The lights turned on as Flug entered the room, squinting at him with a small frown.
"Hola, hola, Alan… If that's even your real name." Flug said with the bag-equivalent of a raised eyebrow, arms crossed.
Alan blinked incredulously at the mad scientist. "Uh… hola Flug. Why wouldn't it be?"
"I'm glad you asked." The lab's door closed automatically behind him. "You see, last time we met, Cam-bot recorded us—" The bot did? Alan never noticed.
"—so I looked you up using everything. Name, face, voice… do you know what I found?" Flug asked cryptically as he circled the chair, with both arms behind his back. Assessing. Alan's incredulous expression didn't change as he stared at the closed door, not bothering to turn his head to try to keep his 'kidnapper' in his field of vision.
"…nothing?"
"Nothing. And with the systems I have— with the resources Black Hat Organization has?" Flug paused in front of him once more, now with something thin and very sharp in his hand. Like a glowing needle. "That's not an easy feat."
Alan eyed the weird object curiously, not exactly intimidated by it. "Well, yeah, of course you wouldn't find me there. I don't exist in this world." Alan meant that in a literal way, but judging by Flug's narrowed eyes, the scientist probably thought he had cleared all records of his existence.
"Look, all I need to know is what you are." Flug stated and stepped closer, pointy thing now aimed at Alan in what he supposed was meant to be a threatening way. "Something with you is… off, and I don't know what it is or why. In my line of job, I can't afford to not know."
Alan sighed, at this point very confused. "I must admit I'm kinda lost here Flug. If you really recorded that day— then why do you think I could be a threat? I mean no harm to anyone here." He stated matter-of-factly. If he weren't restrained, he would have crossed his arms to show how offensive the assumption was.
"Not harm, no. Not directly, at least." Flug admitted, bending down until he was at eye-level. "But I do have the recording of that day. And what you said— I don't know how, but it seems like you already knew that my invention would end up accidentally creating clones from Black Hat. Even knew about Demencia's… version of him."
Alan's jaw dropped, for once speechless. Flug straightened with an interested hum, looking down at him with a single visible eye, the other covered with an ominous reflection. "So tell me. How do you spy on me, on us? For which purpose?" The pointy thing was now directly in front of his face. "Fair warning, I will only ask nicely once."
This was… in character, now that Alan thought of it.
Very unfortunate for Flug though.
His son definitely wasn't in the manor. If Black Hat knew this was happening things would not end well for the poor scientist— but still. In character or not, Alan wasn't expecting something like this, at all.
5.0.5. had seemed to instinctually know something was off, but in a good way. Like the fluffy animal just knew that the unpredictable, terrifying Black Hat would not be in a foul mood for as long as Alan was visiting, and thus always welcomed him with very warm bear hugs.
Demencia somehow knew of his true nature; that of an Author. He wasn't sure how she did it — and to be honest, Demencia herself probably wouldn't be able to explain it either — her brain just worked a bit too fast sometimes. Like that one instance where she had answered the number of hat-bots needed to conquer the galaxy much faster than Flug could. And correctly at that!
Black Hat of course knew everything from the beginning, no questions on the when or how.
Alan had thought that Flug would be aware of it too, somehow, being part of the main characters and all, but apparently that wasn't the case. How was he supposed to explain this Author-Cartoon status?
He thought for a long moment, before nodding at Flug with a serious expression.
"Swear."
"Don't try to— wait, what?" Whatever Flug had been expecting, that wasn't it. His expression changed from intimidating to one of utter confusion in the blink of an eye, pointy-thing no longer facing Alan.
"Curse at something. Just pick a… bad word and say it out loud."
"…why?"
"Think of it as an experiment. Try it out and I'll explain the rest." Alan stated sincerely, before shrugging. "You've got nothing to lose."
Flug blinked incredulously, then scratched the back of his neck as if anxious. "I mean— um, what kind of word would be… fitting?"
Alan smirked. "A word that would make any mom throw La Chancla at you!"
Flug squeaked and covered his mouth with his free hand, comically scandalized. To think this was the villain that would gleefully experiment on living beings regardless of inflicted pain.
"Santa cachucha! That bad?!"
"It's gotta be. Tell you what, if you can say even a single one out loud, I will grant you one request. Deal?"
"I don't do deals." Flug quickly snapped, his free hand waving him off. Considering who he worked for, that was a very wise policy. "But I guess… hmm. Well, sometimes Demencia can be a real— OUMPH!"
The last word was cut off since one of the Hat-bots in the lab had accidentally pushed a button, and one of the prototypes had launched and hit Flug directly in the abdomen. Alan flinched sympathetically, that looked like it hurt.
"Ouph, oww, get— get out of the lab!" Flug wheezed breathlessly to the Hat-bot, one hand over his bruised belly. "I'll send you to the camp so you learn to be careful, you Dumb-bot!"
"…auch. You good?"
"Yeah, yeah, Demencia is much worse," Flug admitted with a dismissive hand gesture, straightening up once more, "she can really be a—"
RIIING.
The customer line ringed, interrupting Flug's last word. Judging by the tone, it was one of the VIP members that couldn't be kept on hold, so the scientist dashed to the adjacent room to answer, leaving Alan temporarily alone.
He looked around, mildly noting what else could be added to the few empty spaces. A few more details on the board would be good, perhaps even more demoralizing posters just to get back at Flug for this overdramatic way of questioning. If the man had simply asked in one of his visits, Alan would have told him. There was no need to use the Tranquilizator sedative and do all of this.
"Sorry, the VIPs can't be left waiting for long!" Flug explained as he walked back into the room. The glowing pointy-thing was no longer in his grasp; the scientist had probably forgotten it.
"No problem," Alan shrugged lightly, choosing not to mention the missing weapon, "ready for another try?"
"Hmmm… you know, it's weird. Now that you mention it, I don't think I've ever said a single curse out loud. No matter how angry or frustrated I am— although I certainly think it sometimes! Honestly, even my own inventions can be such a bunch of—"
The lights of the lab turned red, a loud alarm flaring in the background. The sound was accompanied with a robotic-like voice muttering three numbers, in loop.
"AY NO!" Flug shrieked, hastily leaving the room with a panicked expression. "Hat-bots! Don't let 3.4.6. get out! MOVE!"
Alan could hear Flug yelling instructions from the other room, even over the alarm's ringing. With nothing else to do, he hummed to himself, testing the restraints on his limbs for the first time since waking up.
The one on his right wrist snapped open, even without applying much force to it.
"Huh." Pleasantly surprised, he used his now-free hand to undo the rest of the restraints until he was free to stand up. "I didn't think it would be that easy."
A loud clank! Closely followed by screaming steel.
The previously closed door was cracked open with excessive force, the metal now bent irreparably. Alan smiled and politely waved at what he assumed to be 3.4.6. The experiment waved back before silently sliding down the corridor, completely ignoring Alan.
Welp, the door of the lab was now open.
It was almost like the universe was conspiring to ensure his escape, which was such a curious thing. It's not like Alan was ever in any real danger— heck, he didn't think it was even possible for him to be truly harmed here.
But now that Flug was off dealing with his escaped experiment, and Alan was freed with an open door… well, whatever the reason, if the cosmos wanted him out then he probably should get moving.
"Aroo!" The adorable bear called out as soon as he stepped out of the lab, so he paused as instructed.
5.0.5. made a grateful sound but his expression was still one of concern. Picking Alan up as soon as he was in grabbing distance, the huge bear bridal-carried him away from the lab, moving as fast as his little paws could manage.
"You look worried?"
"Arooo." Woah, so the bear was the one responsible for 3.4.6.'s escape.
"A distraction… well, it was effective. But why?"
"Aaaroooo." So the bear had been coloring in the adjacent room when Flug went to pick the call, and had seen Alan restrained in the chair.
"Why not just ask Flug though? You know he has a soft spot for you, teddy bear." Alan asked while affectionally rubbing the blue fur. The bear hugged him even closer to the soft chest before suddenly stopping dead in its tracks with a frightened squeal.
"¿¡Qué es esto?!" Black Hat screeched, materializing from the shadows right in front of them. Aaah, so his son was already back. That was probably the reason 5.0.5. had chosen to do this instead of simply speaking with Flug.
There was no time left to convince the scientist, Black Hat could have arrived at any moment and seen exactly what was going on in the lab.
The blue fluff immediately let him down. Alan straightened his black vest and tie, while waving. "Why hello!"
"Pa— YOU! What are YOU doing here?!"
Awww, did he almost call him Papa? Papi? Padre? O la abreviación—
"WIPE OFF THAT STUPID GRIN!" If demons could blush maybe the villain would be.
"I'm happy to see you too Mijo!" Alan exclaimed patronizingly, stepping closer to the eldritch with open arms. Black Hat hissed theatrically, but still allowed the hug instead of becoming incorporeal.
For a second, at least.
"Utterly disgusting!" The villain growled while stepping back, lightly pushing Alan at the same time. "Answer me. Why are you here? And that insufferable sound—"
They weren't close to the lab anymore, but the alarm was still softly ringing in the background.
"I got here while you were out. I was talking with 5.0.5. when the lab alarms—" he made a meh hand motion "—well, an experiment got out, apparently." He wrapped up carefully. Black Hat could detect lies, and he was trying to be nice and spare Flug the unnecessary torment.
"So the Doctor can't even keep his failed experiments under control. Pathetic." Black Hat grumbled dangerously low, mouth disfiguring on the last word as sharp fangs grew where the cheek should be.
5.0.5. trembled and hid behind Alan, both paws covering his head. The poor thing was a failed experiment, and the one to make the alarm flare up. Alan patted its cheek a couple of times in sympathy, ignoring his son's twitching eye at witnessing the comforting motion.
"It is what it is. Since you're here now though, want to eat together?"
Black Hat's disgruntled frown turned into a sharp, pleased grin, his shadow extending across the floor to cover Alan's.
"Watch out!" Flug's panicked voice reached them from the corridor. Alan turned his head to see the mad scientist riding one of the big, fight-oriented Sentinel Hat-bots, which seemed to be malfunctioning if the sharp bolts of electricity coming from its head was any indication.
Black Hat whisked him away with his shadows, just in time to avoid the collision. 5.0.5. wasn't as lucky, but at least Flug had crashed with the soft bear instead of at the wall.
The broken Sentinel started to beep with alarming velocity, as if it was a second away from self-destructing, but the eldritch summoned a leech-like thing right under the robot that swallowed it before it could cause any more damage.
"Oww, ¿qué me atropelló?" Flug muttered dizzily, with little stars dancing around his head.
"Doctor." Black Hat growled with barely-contained anger, and the cartoonish stars exploded with agonized screams. Flug covered his ears over the bag and cringed.
"S-sorry Jefecito, one of the experiments got out somehow—" Flug started to explain before his pipeline was squeezed by an invisible force. "But I've got it back! Crisis resolved!"
Alan stepped from behind Black Hat, giving him a discrete tap at the back. Tense shoulders lowered minutely, and the mad scientist struggled for just another second before he was released, panting to try to catch his breath.
"Why did it get out in the first place?" The demon questioned in a much calmer manner, now just mildly displeased. Alan was glad to notice the change in demeanor, but the question itself was very troublesome.
5.0.5. looked so obviously guilty it was impossible not to notice. Black Hat narrowed a single eye at the bear, face twisting into the beginning of a snarl. The failed experiment silently cowered behind the oblivious scientist.
"I'm not sure yet. I need to check the video footage for— espera, ¿qué?" Flug interrupted himself when he finally noticed Alan's presence, looking confused.
Don't say anything stupid, don't say anything stupid—
"How did you escape?"
Yaaa valió madres.
The tension in the room high-rocketed to the freaking moon.
A demonic growl was the only warning Flug got before the man was forcefully folded backwards as if he were made of paper. The scientist couldn't even scream in pain before the head was crumpled too. All that denoted his suffering were the tearful eyes, leaking even with the googles still in place.
"And what. Exactly. Does that mean?" Black Hat asked with a frighteningly calm voice, even as the room grew darker and heavier, a sense of danger unlike any other Alan had ever seen before. The calm before the storm, a silent promise for a fate worse than death hanging just over their heads.
5.0.5. curled in himself, trying to get smaller as if that would hide him, even though Black Hat was solely focused on the idiotic genius.
"Hij—ohhh!" Alan tried to say to calm the eldritch, but Lil Jack — his son's pet snake — had apparently been summoned at some point, because the massive reptile suddenly moved from the shadows to curl around him, in a very… constrictor way. Just tight enough for his movements to be restrained, mouth pressed against smooth scales.
Why was everyone trapping him today? Now only Demencia was left.
Flug wheezed, physically unable to even form words. It wasn't the scientist's fault, but Black Hat was furious regardless.
"What. Did. You. " The last word was barely understandable, overlapped as it was by the inhuman screech that his son released as his body grew larger and larger, losing his humanoid form as he transformed into—
Mieeeeeercoles!
Alan hadn't even drawn that nightmarish shape yet; it was something that he had just thought of a few times. He had never seen Black Hat this enraged. If Flug weren't here for a purpose, the man would have already been disposed of in the slowest, most painful way imaginable.
He squirmed. Lil Jack flicked its tongue at him, a mockery of a kiss at the top of his head.
Flug was no longer folded; now prostrated in front of the fuming eldritch, as apologetic as he could be under so much stress.
"S-s-sor—"
"ANSWER THE Q̶̳̍U̸̹̤̣̻̖̒̿̀Ȅ̷̱̺͔̩̪̽S̸̨͕̜̗͙̎̈T̶̪̳̮̓̉͌͌͐Í̵̝͕̼̒̓Ö̴̪̗́́̇N̴̢͚͖̆͆̾͜ͅ "
Alan wriggled enough to free his mouth. "We talked in the lab. I dared him to swear out loud and—"
̶̘͇͎̄̚ ̵͈̓ψ̷̨̱͉̈́̈̈́̋͑̈́̑́̚͝ ̷͖̰̥̉̀̅͗̇́̈̈̈́Q̵̹̓̐Ų̴̡͕͔̣̘͚̻̗̹͖̒̄̇̓E̵̢͉͔͔͋̽̋̓ ̴͓͕̙͈̹̬̦͇̞̱͌D̷̙̳̯͍̪̤͎͈͎̏͗̈́́̾́͗̅͘͜͝͝ͅẼ̶̤̀̔͆̊̒̓M̴̢͈̮̣̙̟͋̆͐̕͠͠Ó̗̱̦̼͛͒͆̓̽̔̐̇Ñ̷̨̨̳̯̩̘̬̥͔̀̔̓I̷͚͕̟̰̝̱̠̼̫͒͐̔̂Ơ̵̪̜̖̮̤̱͎̇̒̽̿̊S̵̢̤̘̜̪̘͔̦̕͜ ̴̜̼̗̳͐̊̈͆͘͝H̷̳̹͉̽̆̏͂̆͘Ǎ̷̢̨̹̹̹̻̟͖̬͎͍͆̇̏C̸̮͐͊̂̃̋͘̕I̸̦̍Ă̶͚͙̞̤̦̥͚̯͓̜Ṡ̵̢̖͈̜̘̖̥͔̩̘̱̈̔̕͘ ̸̨͕͉̝̅̈́̐̋̈͘ͅÅ̷̛̲̳͚͒̑͒̄̑̽͝Ḩ̴͓̯̮͌̓͊͛̋͌͝Î̸͙̪͉̻̲͈̤͉̇̂ ̸̫̓̉͑͌È̸̢̝̤̖̞̗͔̲̺̈́̆͐̅͊̀́̽Ņ̵̡̞̝̼͔̜̻̤̯͒̃͝ ̵̛̛̻̰̍͑̔̎̕̕͝P̶̬̍̿̀̄̃̃̚R̵̠̗̖͖͕̣̠̼̹͂̇̈́͗̋̌̇͠͝ͅI̵̪̹̫̙̟̞͊͋͌̇̂̆͒͊͆ͅM̴͖͐̉͛̇̎̚͝͝Ė̴̢͔͔̹̻͎̣͍͕̓̐̔̏̍̄̕̕Ȑ̷̘̙̯͕̝̯͚̯̒͌͝ ̵̘̫̝̭̌̉̓̚Ļ̶̛̫͗̈́̍̀̆̿͊͂̕Ų̷̄̈̐̅̾̂̒̔̅̈́͝Ģ̴̆̈̆̽͗̎A̵̢̧̠̘͕̫̺͂͜R̶͙͚͚̱̺̙̗͉͐̾̐̃̆̈́͗́͜ ̷̢̨̛͈͈̓̀̏͗̑̉́̉ψ̸͈̲̟̺̣̀̀͑̈͋͑͝ ̴̜͉̘̣̮̊̀͋͒̏̊̚ͅψ̵̟̳̱̫̮̎̋̊͆͘͘̚ ̶̜͔̰̆̀̈́̍̑ ̦̮̉̓̿̂́̇͘ ̴̢͇̼̺̭̫̻͍̙͔͑̏̒̈͂̑͒͜͝
Wow, that was difficult to understand even for him, and he could get 5.0.5. almost flawlessly. He was somewhat sure that his son just screeched ¿Qué demonios hacías ahí en primer lugar? at him though.
"Well, ok, so it wasn't a conversation I willingly started—"
"AAAAGHHHHH!"
"—but to be fair, that's because Flug is the only one here that doesn't know who I am." Alan justified with a pleading look, which made the agonizing screams of unbearable pain falter for a moment. "The Doc just wants to know how I know what I know, because… well, because he was trying to protect everyone here, really."
The heavy atmosphere lifted a bit at that, but it seemed to be the result of incredulous astonishment more than anything else. Lil Jack uncurled some, enough so Alan was still encircled but no longer immobilized, and he petted the smooth scales gratefully.
"You? A threat?" Although still rumbling, at least the words were understandable once more. A step in the right direction.
"Ridiculous, mm-hmm. I was about to tell him when… eh, everything else happened." Alan explained with a hand gesture, unsure on how much to share. "But yeah, that's pretty much it."
Black Hat's nightmarish form deflated a bit. The eldritch was still horribly disfigured though, and still not back to normal size.
5.0.5. crawled to Alan's side— or well, as close as he could with Lil Jack still encircling him. The massive snake eyed the bear a bit too interestedly.
"Not food Jackie." He warned softly. The snake hissed lightly in disagreement, but lowered its head submissively all the same. Alan scratched under its jaw in appreciation, the large body relaxing all around him.
Taking advantage of that, Alan sneakily stepped out of the muscled circle, walking closer to his terrifying, enraged creation. The demon was too big and shapeless in his current form, so Alan settled on patting the dark smoke-like essence around him.
Flug stared with tired, half-lidded eyes at him, with something akin to… understanding? Gratitude? Relief? It was hard to tell.
"…report everything that happened, from start to end. Don't leave anything out if you want to keep your insides." Black Hat warned Flug, recovering his bipedal form at last. Alan stepped closer; his arm now casually brushing with the other's fancy coat.
For once, the demon didn't seem to mind.
The poor scientist had suffered so much, it was a bit hard to understand him with the dry, shaky voice mixed with pained panting. To his credit though, he still managed to share his side of the story, and Alan was pleased to know that the glowing pointy-thing had been just a truth serum.
Everything was going well until Flug mentioned how he had kept Alan from leaving prematurely.
"AN ELECTRIC CHAIR!?"
"It was disconnected mijo." Alan had noticed that small detail before leaving the lab. "And the restraints broke when I pulled, so… never really trapped, to be fair."
The eldritch snarled with numerous set of mouths, but the raw emotion was quickly controlled once Alan leaned more into him. To be honest, he was surprised his son hadn't stepped away yet.
"…mijo?" Flug repeated weakly, tired eyes blinking with what Alan supposed was surprise. He smiled sympathetically at the poor scientist, leaving Black Hat's side to get closer—
Or tried to, anyway.
In a shocking turn of events, a gloved hand had grabbed his wrist to stop him in his tracks, immediately releasing his arm after his point was made.
Alan made a mental note to not leave his son alone until the eldritch himself pushed him away. His presence seemed to still be welcome— perhaps even needed? — at the moment. This point was reinforced when Lil Jack slid towards them, curling in a very loose circle around both, Black Hat and Alan. Not touching, but not far from doing so either.
Unable to step closer, Alan looked down at Flug in what he hoped was a reassuring manner.
"You couldn't swear, right? Nobody can without getting interrupted by something, because our audience shouldn't hear those." He gave the shocked scientist a small smirk, followed by a polite little bow, the kind he knew always put Black Hat in a good mood. "I'm Alan, the author of this world. I kinda created everyone in it— well, most of them. We do have some connections with characters from other worlds… those aren't mine." Alan explained with a so-so hand gesture. "It's a bit hard to explain, but, uh, everyone in this manor is the main crew, if that makes sense?"
Black Hat scoffed, apparently mildly offended, so Alan added: "With Black Hat as the main character, of course!" while stepping closer to place a hand on his creation's shoulder. The demon ugh-ed as it was custom, shrugging off the offending appendage, but still not stepping away.
Alan mildly wondered if this was what having a grumpy teenager felt like.
"The… author. Oh." Flug muttered, a spark in his previously dull eyes as the pieces of the puzzle finally clicked in place. "That's how and why. And the requests…"
"Yeah. Everyone here kinda, uh, figured things out on their own, to be honest. This is the first time I actually say it out loud." It was somewhat embarrassing, truly.
"Even Demencia?"
"Second only to Black Hat," Alan admitted with a shrug, "don't ask me how."
"She knew. And then the clone's incident— of course she would ask for that."
"Heh. Yeah… something like that."
Flug hummed tiredly, slowly blinking a couple of times before closing his eyes with a sigh. The eventful day had finally passed its bill, as the poor scientist fainted on the floor, still in that prostrated position. It looked very uncomfortable.
"Hey teddy bear. Take the poor guy to his bed, would you?"
5.0.5. looked at Alan, then Black Hat — who didn't say or do anything other than lightly humph —and finally down to the unconscious scientist. Seeing as the Manor's owner wasn't against it, the blue bear picked Flug up in a bridal carry, and walked away surprisingly silently.
Lil Jack was the next one to move. Raising a massive head to flick its tongue at Alan's cheek, the huge reptile nodded to its owner in farewell before sliding away to the closest wall, merging inside its shadows as if it were some sort of portal instead of hard concrete.
Alan turned to look at Black Hat, who had remained oddly silent so far, the visible eye lost in thought. Deciding not to interrupt whatever was running on his mind, Alan stepped away—
A gloved hand immediately grabbed his forearm to stop him once more.
"Wrists."
"…what?"
"Show me the wrists." Black Hat repeated with a… somewhat concerned frown? Was he hallucinating?
Choosing not to comment on it, Alan did as instructed; rolling his sleeves to show the unmarked wrists. The chair's restraints hadn't been that tight.
The demon hummed noncommittally, hands now clasped behind his back, face unreadable. The single visible eye gave him a once-over, apparently searching for something amiss, shoulders relaxing minutely when he found nothing.
"I don't think I can get seriously hurt in this world." Alan admitted with a soft, touched smile.
Black Hat met his gaze with an unnaturally serious, fierce look; the thin pupil splitting in two.
"Anyone that tries is mine to d̵̡͓̖͑͊́̄̇̍̎̾͐͛̈e̵̪͉̳͜͝a̸̭̩̔̃̊͑̀͑͘l̵̹̥̭̩͖̜͖̼̩̩͇̿̔̒̈̑́͂ with."
…better not discuss with that.
"Thanks son." And then, just to break the oddly serious atmosphere, he grinned playfully right before tightly trapping the other in a hug.
"EUGH!"
"I didn't know you were a worrywart!" This was the longest a hug had lasted. New record!
"Stupid mortal." Black Hat hissed, finally pushing him away with a silent snarl. "You're useful alive, that's all."
"Love you too."
"Asquerosa alimaña—" The eldritch grumbled under his breath, hand curling into a fist. Alan's shadow suddenly grew and consumed everything around him— oh, no, wait, the room didn't disappear, it was him who was swallowed by the darkness. Very different.
When the obscurity dissipated, he found himself sitting in the office's visitor chair — which might as well be Alan's, since no other villains ever had such luxury when dealing with Black Hat — desk already filled with food. The portrait he had custom-made for his grumpy son was hanging by the corner, showing them both in the requested evil setting.
"Lunch. Then out." Black Hat instructed as he sat down on in front of him, this time without any living puppies on his plate. How considerate.
"Sounds good." He looked at the portrait once more. "You know, I showed that drawing to the team at the office. It was really fun! They said…"
Contentedly chattering on his team's comments, the rest of the afternoon passed by in relative peace.
And if he noticed poor Flug being even more tormented than usual in the show— well, some things were better off undiscussed. Alan would probably just make it worse if he tried.
AN: Protective BH is my jam 3
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