AUTHOR'S NOTE: Words cannot describe how surprised I was when I saw how many views I had on "Franny's Diary," because I had published that one on Tuesday. So, with that said, thank you! Also, this 'book' had over 300 views in July! Yay! And now I'm back with another story. This was another one of those where an idea came in my head after listening to a song and I just had to put it on 'paper'. This time, it is Evanescence's "Bring Me to Life." For those who have read the story "Visions" (Ch. 19), Diana does have visions. The dreams in this story are her very first two visions, taking place right after my story "Her Heart's Calling." Enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: See the story "Visions" in this 'book' for the disclaimer. I only own Diana and Berethor. I do not own Evanescence's "Bring Me to Life."
STORY #23: Bring Me to Life
STORIES OF REFERENCE: Her Heart's Calling (Ch. 15-18)
NARRATOR: Diana
AUGUST 26, 2063 – PACIFIC BAY, CALIFORNIA, USA
"I've enjoyed walking with you today," I told my new friend with a smile as we approached my dorm at Pacific Bay University.
"It's been a pleasure walking with you," Berethor Wheaton replied, returning the smile. "Is there anything you need from me?"
"No, but thank you."
"Well, then I'll see you tomorrow morning before class."
"Berethor, you don't have to accompany me to class every morning," I assured him with a raised eyebrow.
"But I want to," he replied, still carrying the smile that was surrounded by his blue eyes and copper hair. "I hope that's okay. Am I making you uncomfortable?"
"No! That's not it at all! It's just that…"
I trailed off, trying to explain my delicate situation to him.
"I broke up with my ex-boyfriend a few months ago," I lied. "And so I'm still adjusting to my life with another man in it."
"Oh! I'm sorry. Would you like me to give you some space?"
"I've had enough space to myself the last three months," I answered, suddenly feeling guilty that I lied, and I decided to tell him something that was the truth. "It has been nice walking with you the past week."
"I'm not reminding you of your ex-boyfriend, are you?" Berethor asked uneasily.
"No, not at all! Well, actually, yes, you do… a little bit… I'm sorry, I need to get inside before I say something stupid—"
"Diana, hey, hey," Berethor interrupted, firmly placing his hands on my shoulders. "It's okay. You're nervous. I understand. Do you not want to walk with me tomorrow?"
"Berethor, I'd love to walk with you. But I need to be by myself tonight."
"I understand. I'll see you in the morning."
"See you later."
I watched Berethor walk away before I entered the building and walked to my room.
"Diana, you idiot!" I reprimanded myself before entering my room.
After I locked the door, I collapsed on the bed and took out my phone. After glancing through my Facebook that included a friend request from Berethor, I dialed my best friend from Connecticut.
"Diana, hi!"
"Hey, Emma! How's Yale treating you?"
"So far, so good! I'm loving college now that I've had a year under my belt. I've joined a sorority!"
"Well, good for you! All of that experience in high school is paying off!"
"It certainly is, thanks to you. So, how's Pacific Bay? Have you made any new friends yet?"
"I've made one friend, whom I've met on my very first day here."
"Tell me everything!" I heard Emma say excitedly on the other side.
"His name is Berethor and he is the most handsome, noble man I have ever met in my life," I answered while heavily blushing. I did NOT just say that.
"He? Diana, I'm so happy for you!"
"And I also lied to him and I need someone to talk to about it."
"What did you lie to him about?" Emma asked with worry.
"I… lied to him about Caleb."
"Wow! You're talking about Caleb to him already. I'm not surprised. Caleb was a great guy."
"Emma, I kind of told him that Caleb was alive… that I broke up with him in April, not that he died from a car accident."
"Diana! Berethor needs to know what you're going through."
"Emma, are you crazy? I've only known him for a week! I don't trust him that much with my personal life yet!"
"Diana, if you and Berethor are going to make it as friends, you need to tell him the truth."
"I don't know, Emma. I'm trying to not think of the fact that almost every single person believes I'll meet my future husband in Pacific Bay, and all of a sudden, Berethor comes in my life. I don't want to tell him upright that I moved to Pacific Bay because my high school boyfriend just died and I needed a new life. Besides, he was understanding, even if I do feel guilty about lying to him."
"I don't like it, but I understand what you're saying. But back to Berethor. Tell me everything!"
"Well, I was exploring the city and the courthouse that Russell was telling me about when he found me there. He said that I shouldn't be alone and we just hit it off. He's also a student at Pacific Bay University, and he's studying criminal justice to be a field officer."
"As cool as that is… you said he's handsome. What does he look like?"
"You are liking this, aren't you, Emma?" I asked with a smirk.
"Hey, he may be your husband someday!"
"Emma—"
"Oh, come on, Diana! Don't tell me the thought hasn't crossed your mind!"
"Oh, it has. But I'm always talking myself out of it. Anyway. Berethor has blue eyes, as blue as the ocean. And he has copper hair, but if he's not outside, then his hair looks brown."
"His hair changes color? Interesting."
"He's about six feet tall, he's lean and strong. His favorite color is also red, and he loves his root beer floats and steaks. Oh, and he has a big nose."
"Any chance I can meet him?"
"Well, not right now! But maybe someday."
"When are you thinking of introducing him to your parents?"
"I don't know, Emma," I replied, shaking my head. "I'm pretty sure my dad already despises him. He didn't sound happy when I told him my new friend was a man."
"I don't think your dad despises the fact that you're making new friends. I think he's just protective of you and doesn't want you to be more hurt than you already are. But Diana, right now the only person who can hurt you is you. You've gone through so much the last four months. We're all afraid that you'll do something to harm yourself even more."
"Emma, I'm fine right now. I'll get through this eventually. I just need to take it day by day."
I woke up, but I was not in my dorm in Pacific Bay University. Instead, I was in some sort of mansion, but I was still wearing my long-sleeved black nightgown that I had worn since Caleb's death. I heard a piano playing in the distance, and I decided to head in that direction.
"Hello?" I called out, but then I heard a voice.
How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
"Evanescence?" I asked myself out loud.
Leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb
Without a soul, my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
I realized that it wasn't her voice that was singing in this mansion: it was mine.
Until you find it there, and lead it back home
I turned to my left to find another version of me, wearing the same black dress that I wore to my senior prom, but she had a black veil over her head. She was the one who was singing.
"Wake me up!" I heard a male voice calling out from another room.
Wake me up inside
"I can't wake up."
Wake me up inside
"Save me!"
Call my name and save me from the dark
"Wake me up!"
Bid my blood to run
"I can't wake up."
Before I come undone.
"Save me!"
Save me from the nothing I've become.
"What is going on?" I asked.
The version of me wearing the black dress started to walk forward, and I followed her as she continued to sing.
Now that I know that I'm without, you can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real, bring me to life
"Wake me up!" the male voice called out.
Wake me up inside
"I can't wake up."
Wake me up inside
"Save me!" the male voice called out again, but this time I recognized it: it was Caleb's.
"Caleb?"
Call my name and save me from the dark
"Wake me up!"
Bid my blood to run
"I can't wake up."
Before I come undone
"Save me!"
Save me from the nothing I've become
Bring me to life
"I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside."
"Wait, what?" I asked in bewilderment. "Caleb? What's going on?"
Bring me to life
Frozen inside, without your touch, without your love, darling
Only you are the life among the dead
The woman in front of me moved to the side, and I saw Caleb's ghost, and he started to sing.
"All this time, I can't believe I couldn't see. Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me."
"I've been sleeping a thousand years, it seems," I sang back, feeling relief in my heart. "Got to open my eyes to everything."
"Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul."
"Don't let me die here," I requested, as I felt myself becoming invisible.
"There must be something more," Caleb sang back.
"Bring me to life!" I sang out.
"Wake me up!" Caleb sang out in desperation.
"Wake me up inside."
"I can't wake up."
"Wake me up inside."
"Save me!"
"Call my name and save me from the dark."
"Wake me up!"
"Bid my blood to run."
"I can't wake up."
"Before I come undone."
"Save me!"
"Save me from the nothing I've become. Bring me to life."
"I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside."
"Bring me to life!" I sang before completely disappearing and turning into a ghost like Caleb.
I woke up screaming. I looked around my very dark room while panting, recovering from what I thought was a nightmare. My hands searched all over my body, which was very much physical and alive, and I blew a sigh of relief; it was a dream. It was a very freaky dream. After I calmed down, I went back to sleep.
I woke up, once again, in the same mansion as before, but this time, there was no piano playing.
"Hello?" I asked. "Is anyone here?"
"Oh praise the Lord, Diana!" I heard a male voice say. "You're alive!"
I got up and turned to my right to see Caleb right next to me. I screamed and panicked, afraid that I was going to become a ghost again.
"Don't worry, Diana. You're in a dream, but I promise you, you won't turn into a ghost."
"I don't understand," I replied, feeling completely terrified. "What is this?"
"Well, this is my place," Caleb explained with a big smile. "Jesus built it for me for when it was time for me to come home."
"We're in heaven?" I asked in awe, looking around the white room. "So how come it felt like the Twilight Zone earlier?"
"Because you're still grieving over me, Diana. All this time, you had wanted to die so you could be with me. But, and Jesus wanted me to tell you this, you still have a purpose back on Earth."
I scoffed at that.
"What purpose? Caleb, I don't even know who I am anymore. I haven't felt like myself since you died."
"You're the same Diana Robinson I've always known. You've fallen and you've gotten up and moved forward. You don't have to be a high school cheerleader to do that. Besides, you're not in high school anymore. You're in college, and you're in Pacific Bay, not Westport. The Diana Robinson in Pacific Bay is NOT the Diana Robinson in Westport."
"Well, can you at least remind me of who I am?"
"I think you already know. You just don't want to admit it because you want to forget everything, and that's only because I died. Diana, don't let grief take control of your emotions and your instincts. You're already letting grief take over. You lied to Berethor because you didn't want to tell him the truth about us!"
"How did you know about Berethor?" I asked, whipping my head back to face him.
"In heaven, we know everything. I'm worried for you, Diana. You're usually more open than that."
"Caleb, I had a good reason for lying to Berethor," I replied sternly. "I've only known him for a week. I didn't want him to have pity on me. I'm all open for making new friends, but when it comes to my past, I want them to stay out of it."
"Diana, what if you and Berethor were to become something more, like we did?"
"That's not going to happen, Caleb. I don't have feelings—"
"There you go again, Diana. You're lying to yourself."
"Caleb—"
"I saw you meeting Berethor for the first time at that courthouse. I saw the look on your face before you introduced yourself to him. You could have walked away, Diana, but you didn't. You saw something, and you didn't want to leave that. How do you truly feel about him, Diana? And don't worry about me. On Earth, I'm dead. You can't hurt me."
"I told Emma that he was the most handsome and noble man, and that's the truth. My first impression of him was… that he was handsome and I loved his copper hair and blue eyes. But, then he gave me a gift basket the next day, and he revealed that I was his first thought. But Caleb, I'm not ready to fall in love again. Not yet."
"Just tell him that."
"Caleb, Berethor hasn't told me of his feelings."
"Well, if he hasn't, then you don't have to yet. Things take time, and with how things went between us, we both probably learned a lesson or two."
"Not to rush into things?"
"Exactly. I think our relationship had gone downhill ever since I proposed to you. You felt awkward about it, and I made your dad angry because I didn't ask for his permission. But I didn't want to accept that it was somehow going to end."
"I didn't want to accept it either," I replied solemnly. "Puppy love, maybe?"
"That is very possible. Take your time with Berethor, Diana. But at least tell him the truth about us."
"I will, but maybe later. He was understanding, even though I lied. As far as I know, we're just friends."
"Just being friends is always a great start. I wish we had stayed friends before we moved forward in our relationship. But it doesn't matter. You were worth it though, Diana. Don't give up on yourself just because I'm here and not with you, alright? Keep moving forward."
"Thanks, Caleb."
"Otherwise, you really will end up like me: a ghost in someone's dream. I'd hate to see you become a ghost before you live your life."
I laughed at that.
"I love you, Caleb. Always."
"I love you too, Diana. Stay safe."
"I would say 'you too,' but you already are safe."
"I'm in the safest place possible, Diana. And someday, you will be too, but not yet. Don't spend your life wishing you were dead."
"I'll try not to. It's still hard to get over you."
"I understand that. Now, go back to sleep."
I woke up the next morning, and my first thought was how I never really woke up from my second dream, which was a much better dream than the first one. Then, I grabbed my phone to text Berethor… only to find that I never asked him for his phone number.
"Shoot! I've got to remember to ask him for that."
I got out of bed, took off my black nightgown, and I put on a green buttoned-up dress and white sneakers. I decided to braid my long black hair this time, and once I was done with that, I grabbed an apple from the counter and my backpack from the floor. I walked out of my dorm room and went outside to wait for Berethor to accompany me to my first class. I stood outside the door for five minutes, admiring the clock tower in the middle of campus, before he showed up with a bag.
"Whatcha got there?" I asked with a smile.
"Breakfast!" Berethor answered enthusiastically, digging into the bag and handing me something. "This one's yours. I thought you'd like it."
I opened the wrapper and found a toasted ham and cheese sandwich.
"Thanks! Before we go, can I have your phone number? I was going to text you before you got here and I realized I don't have it."
"Oh shoot! I forgot to give you my number. Give me your phone."
I did as I was told, and I watched Berethor add his number to my contacts. But he didn't give me back the phone yet.
"Berethor, what are you doing?" I asked with a perplexed expression.
"I'm sending me a text message from your phone so that I'll have your number."
"It's my phone, Berethor."
"What? You don't trust me? Besides, I'm done. Here."
Berethor handed my phone back to me, and I immediately opened up the message application and read the first text listed.
WonderWoman44: Hey Berethor, it's Diana.
"And you put a kiss emoji in the text!" I exclaimed in disbelief. "Be thankful I don't know your middle name because I would be screaming that right now."
"I… may have had the wrong assumption about you then," Berethor replied hesitantly. "I take it our feelings aren't mutual?"
"Berethor, I'm going to need more time before I commit to something like that. Actually, that was why I wanted to text you. I had two dreams last night."
"Two? Wow, it does not sound like you slept well at all last night."
"Well, one was a nightmare. I was turning into a ghost while singing Bring Me to Life. I was talking to my ex-boyfriend in the second dream."
Damn, I thought, wincing at the fact that I lied to him again. But I felt less guilty this time, because it was half the truth.
"How was the talk?" Berethor asked, not calling out the lie, which I was relieved about.
"It helped a little bit. He wants me to get to know you more and just to take it one day at a time."
"He sounds wise," Berethor replied. "I'm glad he's moving on. It sounds like something you should do."
"You're not mad at me?" I asked, and I was honest about my feelings.
"Diana, we've only known each other for a week. If you need more time to move on from your ex-boyfriend, I understand. But I would like to spend time with you."
"I'd like that too," I replied with a smile. "Maybe starting with that walk?"
"Of course."
I saw Berethor smiling before we took off for my first class, walking across the campus and past the clock tower.