Author's notes:

Sorry. Kept getting stuck on this chapter. Also The Nightmare Paradigm is turning out to be longer than I expected, so instead of three chapters, it's going to be four.

I'm almost done with part three, so expect that to drop in a couple of days.

Also, I've started posting for a new DW fic called The Waif. I have big plans for it, so if you like this story, maybe check it out.

CHAPTER WARNINGS: DESCRIPTION OF PANIC ATTACK, FEAR OF ABANDONMENT, FEELINGS OF WORTHLESSNESS, LANGUAGE, MILD VIOLENCE

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Chapter Twenty Four: The Nightmare Paradigm

Part Two

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The duke's mansion was even more impressive up close. The Doctor and I strolled up the looping drive of cobblestone made smooth by decades of use. The air was sweet, lightly perfumed by rows upon rows of flowers that grew in all shapes and colors, each individual plant neatly trimmed to fit with its neighbor like pieces to a grand puzzle - all without looking intentional.

I remarked on the quality to the Doctor, who nodded.

"They take their horticulture seriously here," he said earnestly. "How else d'you think they get bananas to grow in this climate?"

The house itself was chiseled into the mountain, the natural rock having been broken apart and repurposed as bricks. The grey stone melded elegantly into the background, the smooth contrast between it and the deep green foliage pleasing to the eye.

The architecture itself was somewhat Georgian in style: altogether boxy, white-rimmed windows - yet with grecian columns framing the main entrance. Leafy greens dripped from every window sill on the four-storied building, softening the hard lines and edges.

Surprisingly, there wasn't a guard at the gate. We walked straight through and up the steps precluding the main entrance unchallenged.

Ever confident, the Doctor gave the impressive oaken door a few sharp raps. The sound echoed through the halls within, marking them as cavernous and tiled, full of sleek surfaces and ornate wealth.

We waited. I could picture some kind of servant striding slowly across marbled floors, cool and unhurried, like the ones in movies and novels. I had only recently finished Jane Eyre, having come across it while roaming the TARDIS library, so the associated imagery still burned fresh in my mind.

The thick wooden door creaked open a sliver, just enough for a thin, reedy man to peer out at us. He looked more or less like what you'd expect from a butler or valet: the back-end of middle-aged, dressed in a back and white suit with blue trimmings.

He peered at us imperiously through half-moon specs, full of the haughty disdain afforded to a man who was high-ranking among the servants in the household of a duke.

"I'm afraid the duke is not taking visits from the townsfolk today," he said nasally. "Visitations will resume their normal schedule after Moon-week. Good day."

"Hold up, mate!" The Doctor protested as the door swung closed.

The Doctor tried to stick his foot out to keep it from shutting, but the butler - who undoubtedly had experience with situations like this - was too quick. We were left outside, listening to the butler's smart shoes clipping on the tile as he strode away.

The Doctor scoffed. "Bit rude, innit?"

"Well, I mean, we could be anyone," I pointed out, gazing up and around the sides of the stone building.

"But we're not, are we?" The Doctor fumbled in his jacket for the psychic paper. "Should've done the credentials first thing."

"Probably. Do we try knocking again?"

He shrugged and knocked, louder and more insistent than before. We received no response. The Doctor tried again, with no avail. He scoffed, looking more than a little offended at being so blatantly ignored.

I opened my mouth to suggest heading back to town to ask around there, but closed it when a shiver passed down my spine.

The air suddenly felt sick. Tainted. It was the same sense of wrongness as earlier, only much, much stronger. I gagged on bile. Staggered, dizzy with nausea.

Surprised, the Doctor reached out to support me before I could topple over. "Buff?"

I gripped his forearm, struggling to reorient, and then took off around the house in a dead sprint, tripping over stones and bushes in my haste.

The Doctor shouted after me, but I paid no mind. I turned the corner and dashed along the side of the house, headed for the back.

As I noted before, the house was partially built into the mountain. Now closer, I could see that the seam between mountain and house was only about eight feet tall. Higher than that, the ground curved away from the building, suggesting a section had been carved out of the mountain to separate it from the back of the house.

I barely slowed as I reached the point where the house met the mountain side, taking a running leap and snagging onto the top of the seam. With a considerable amount of scrabbling I was able to haul myself up and over before tumbling awkwardly down the other side, crushing a flowering bush in the process.

In another situation, I might have been embarrassed. But the people on the other side of the disguised wall had more important things to worry about than my bizarre entrance and lack of grace.

Staggering to my feet, I found myself in a small, secret garden, complete with an elegant stone patio and matching fountain. Two men - one of whom was bleeding from his shoulder - cowered behind a set of toppled chairs while a maid crouched under the table.

The Chronomite I had sensed earlier stalked across the patio. It was bigger than most of the others I'd encountered, it's extra set of arms spread wide to either side to make it appear as large as possible and gnashing its curved fangs.

I knew enough about animal behavior to recognize a threat display when I saw one, but despite all my experience with Chronomites, I'd never seen one act like this. Usually they were too straightforward and impulsive to bother.

"Hey!" I shouted, dragging out the knife from my bag. "Me. Not them!"

The Chronomite whirled around. Normally, simply diverting its attention would've been enough to make it forget about it's original quarry, but this one only snarled in my general direction and threw itself towards the bleeding man, claws raised for a killing blow.

"No!"

Made reckless by desperation, I threw myself forward. My blade buried deep in the side of the creature's neck, punching past the leathery exoskeleton and into the soft meat beneath.

I couldn't do any real damage to it outside of the Otherside, but the Chronomite screeched in pain and rage. It turned on me with a roar, lashing out in self-defense. I danced out of the way with practiced ease, expecting it to continue in it's assault.

It didn't. The Chronomite suddenly wheeled away, screeching, directly into the carved-out mountainside. The air shivered as it slipped away.

That's when I saw the strings. Though maybe 'saw' isn't the right word, but 'felt' isn't either. Either way, threads of energy vibrated through the dimensions, connected to the back of the retreating Chronomite.

Bewildered, I spun around, searching for the other end of the tethers. I zeroed in on one of the men, the one that wasn't bleeding. He had made his way back to his feet, but stumbled backwards as I thoughtlessly stomped forward to glare up at him with narrowed eyes.

"What the fuck did you to it?" I demanded, fearless with adrenaline.

"I … I don't — "The man's eyes darted from my face to the knife I still held, which was dark and dripping with the Chronomite's blood.

An arm settled across my shoulders. The Doctor squeezed me into his side protectively.

"Bloody hell, Buff," he said, just the right amount of overly cheerful for me to catch the indirect warning behind the words. He picked a leaf from the bush I'd fallen into out of my hair. "You okay?"

I blinked up at him, took a deep breath to center myself, then nodded.

"Sorry to barge in," the Doctor said, not the least but apologetic. His sharp blue eyes were fixed on the man I'd just been threatening, face frozen with false friendliness. "But we heard the commotion. And lucky thing, too. Alright, mate?"

Now that the strings - whatever they were - were gone, I took a closer look at the man. He was somewhere in his mid-forties. His beard was dark and wirey, immaculately groomed into elaborate curls. He peered at me with pale eyes that glittered beadily in their sockets.

I couldn't place him immediately, but the fact that he was dressed entirely in dark red robes seemed familiar.

A flash of shock jolted me when I recognized him as the Cardinal. The guy that hanged the alleged 'witch'.

"You'd be wise to contain your woman, sir," the Cardinal snipped, composing himself quickly. He scrutinized me with narrowed eyes, but I caught the uncertainty and wariness flicking through them. "A proper lady wouldn't dare challenge such a… a monster from hell. She could've been killed."

"I would've been the one killed. Show some respect," the other man snapped, picking himself off the ground while clutching his bleeding arm. A gash had been torn in his royal blue overcoat from shoulder to elbow, but he didn't seem particularly fazed by it. He looked at me with a kind look on his handsome face. "I thank you for your courage, madam. I am Duke Bast Delaney, and I am in your debt."

"Buffy Reid," I said with a polite dip of my head, "and this is the Doctor."

The Doctor smiled and gave a little wave, but didn't stop staring down the Cardinal. "Seems like you two have had a busy day, Cardinal - ?"

"Bancroft," the Cardinal said, puffing out his chest. "Cardinal Leopul Bancroft. And yes, it is a busy day." He glared at me pointedly. "And will be busier still, it seems."

The Doctor leaned forward, catching the man's eye while subtly pushing me behind him. "How's that?"

"Yet another witch has been eliminated, yet the creature continues to plague us!" He gathered his blood-colored robes about him.

"It's almost as if it isn't controlled by a witch at all," the duke bit out sarcastically.

The Cardinal continued as if he hadn't spoken. "I had suspected someone in this household, but perhaps not. I must flush her out! Good day."

With that said, he swept out of the garden and back into the house. The butler that had shut us out earlier waited at the door, peering at us in pure befuddlement through the glass.

"Blimey, he's in a hurry," the Doctor mused before fixing the duke with a concerned look. "That looks nasty. We need to get it taken care of quick."

I nodded sympathetically, knowing Chronomite wounds better than anyone. "Those get infected easy."

"Cuthbert!" Duke Delaney addressed the butler. "See the Cardinal out and return with a medical kit. And tell the maid to prepare refreshments for our guests."

"Oh, we don't need - " I started to say, but was cut off by a wave of the duke's hand.

"Nonsense! Stress and injury are no excuse for poor hospitality. Go, Cuthbert."

Cuthbert bowed and bustled off. Delaney used his good arm to right one of the chairs and return it to its place by the table. The Doctor quickly snatched up the other two and set them straight. He also fetched the light blue tablecloth and spread it out before us.

"I'll never say no to a cuppa," the Doctor said cheerfully as he sat. "What about you, Buff?"

"Huh?" I felt like he was fishing for something, but I had no idea what it was. "Yeah, sure."

"No one will ever claim the Duke of Tamial Provence has lost his manners," Delaney added. His eyes flickered eagerly between the Doctor and I, his awareness of social niceties only just keeping his curiosity in check. "Our tea is some of the finest in the kingdom."

"Oh, yeah." The Doctor nodded with mock severity. "Had a nice cuppa the last time I was here. Mostly citrus, I think. Mind, the best I ever had 'round here was up in Cressi Provence."

"I can't say I agree. That brand is much too sweet."

"Better than bitter fruit, though."

"Only it's not as good with lemon crumble."

I suppressed a sigh and laid my knife down on the tabletop, careful to keep from getting blood on the fine tablecloth, which was swirled with intricate designs; no doubt handmade and expensive.

They went on about tea for another five minutes, arguing back and forth, each trying to outdo the other in taste and understanding of associated etiquette. I had no idea why the Doctor was bothering with this kind of banter, only that it was extremely annoying. I needed to talk with him about the strings I'd seen, but couldn't do that until we'd gotten everything we needed from the duke. So what the fuck was he doing? Weren't we in a hurry?

"Can we just get to the point, please?" I finally snapped, having had more than enough. Both men turned to me with matching looks of surprise. "Fucking rich people chat. It's absolutely pointless. I just stabbed a monster, and that's what I want to talk about. It's what we all want to talk about. So can we just - get - on - with - it?"

The Doctor shot me an apologetic look, to which I responded with a scowl.

"Yes, the beast," Delaney coughed awkwardly. "You seemed familiar with it."

"Somewhat," the Doctor said coolly, rummaging around under his chair for an embroidered silk napkin he'd glimpsed.

"Tell me then, good sir. Where are you from? Neither of you bear the style of this Provence, and I've not heard stories of the beast elsewhere."

The Doctor carefully relieved me of the blood-slicked blade and began to clean it with the napkin. I felt a flicker of remorse as the fine sky-blue silk was stained dark red; as the keen edge bit into the fibers, thoroughly ruining it. Neither man seemed to care, though, so I put it out of my mind and focused instead on the way the duke glared impatiently at the Doctor.

"Oh, just travelers," the Doctor said finally. He studied my knife for a moment longer, making sure it had been thoroughly polished before passing it back to me. I tucked back into my bag. "We've been around a bit. Seen a few things."

I kicked the Doctor's ankle under the table for continuing to beat about the bush. He winced and shot me a sour glance.

"Things such as the creature?" Delaney pressed.

The Doctor's eyes glinted warily. "Maybe."

Duke Delaney worked his jaw, no doubt biting back a frustrated remark. He remained diplomatic though, which I could respect. "Well, if you have maybe encountered the creature before, maybe the three of us could work out some kind of exchange. A trade of information, if you will."

The Doctor flashed his most winning smile with too many teeth and clapped his hands together decisively. "Love an interrogation, me. You start. Tell us about the monster. And the witches."

Delaney glared at the Time Lord. He wasn't overly fond of losing control of this kind of situation, but I noticed the resignation behind his eyes. He was tired. A lot of people - his people - had died, and he was desperate.

"At the beginning of the harvest - "

The Doctor nudged me. "Abou' three months back."

" - a farm house was attacked. The whole family slaughtered. All except the eldest daughter. Neighbors saw the beast leaving the residence. And the bodies - " He shook his head sadly. "Mangled. Torn to shreds."

I frowned. The Doctor glanced at me to gauge my reaction.

"As the culprit was demonic in nature, the church was called to cleanse the space. Cardinal Bancroft declared the crime to be the actions of a witch. He ordered the daughter to be executed for consorting with unholy beings. No proper trial was held."

"And there've been others since?"

Delaney nodded wearily. "Fifteen people have been slain by the beast. Bancroft has 'identified' and executed seven alleged witches. Despite the eradication, the deaths continue."

"But you don't think witches are controlling the monster?" I inquired.

Delaney shook his head. "I don't believe in magic. Or witches. One of our philosophers once said that magic is simply science we have yet to reveal. I'm inclined to believe him."

I smiled at him warmly while the Doctor nodded his approval. "Well, I think you're a very enlightened man."

His handsome face brightened at the compliment, his soft hazel eyes lighting up with appreciation. "Thank you, madam. Despite what the church has told us - and I hold the church in the highest respect, believe me - our ancestors were scientists. They came from the stars, and I firmly believe our people should strive to return to their legacy, and not superstition."

The Doctor leaned forward, blue eyes alight with interest. "How d'you know that?"

Delaney lowered his voice, as if telling some great secret. "There are books, sacred ones that detail our past. Until recently, they were housed in Exterreri Cathedral. The Cardinal intended to have them burned, but I managed to save them."

"Why would he want to burn them?" I asked.

His eagerness was sullied by a flicker of shame."Because… well… because of me."

"What do you mean?"

A hard look settled into his eyes. "The Cardinal and I have… let's say… a troubled history."

"Oh?"

"It's a long story."

"Summarize."

Cuthbert finally came bustling back in. The butler eyed the Doctor and I warily as he set a tray bearing fresh tea and warm cookies on the table. He then produced a woven satchel from underneath his arm.

Delaney thanked him and helped himself to the stachel's contents, which proved to be bandages, wipes, and what appeared to be a glass bottle of alcohol/disinfectant.

"Need help with that?" The Doctor offered. " I actually am a doctor."

"I'm grateful. But no. It isn't deep." Delaney pressed a cloth pad over the gashes and winced. "As for the Cardinal… well… let's say we have had… disagreements… over the power the church should possess. Elsewhere, the royal court primarily controls the government. But here, it isn't so simple."

The Doctor nodded. "The Cathedral is the religion's most holy site. The people who live around it are proud."

"Precisely." Delaney grimaced as he dribbled alcohol over the wound. "I accuse him of overreach. He accuses me of heresy. I expressed interest in sharing the knowledge of the Forbidden Books - our history - with the public and he decided to burn them to keep me from them. Quite annoying, but our competition hadn't been much of a problem. Not much happens here. But now I find myself near helpless to enforce the law. The Cardinal has the support of the public."

"Could you not, like, arrest him? Report him to the crown or whatever?" I asked.

"Theoretically, yes." Delaney unraveled the roll of bandages. "But the church employs a Holy Guard. They outnumber my men three to one. There would be a battle, and we would lose. Especially with the township demanding revenge for the deaths."

I stood and rounded the table. Delaney blinked at me with wide, befuddled eyes as I stopped at his shoulder and calmly held out my hand for the bandages, which he'd been struggling with.

The faint blush dusted across his cheeks, underscoring the freckles that dotted the bridge of his nose. I suppressed a small, satisfied smirk as he relinquished the roll. He was quite handsome.

The Doctor scoffed as I worked, drawing our attention back to him. His look on his angular features was amicable, but the glare he fixed the duke with expressed nothing short of haughty disapproval.

"Could you not send for reinforcements?" The Doctor pressed. "King… what's his name? King Ramsey. He's known for his position on the separation of church and state. Surely he'd be more than happy to put a rouge Cardinal back in his place."

I tied off the bandage. The duke thanked me with a gentle smile. "... and yes, I have. I sent word to the Royal Court several weeks ago. But the Capital is a significant distance from here, and it will take time."

I squeezed the Doctor's shoulder as I brushed past him on the way back to my chair; a casual reminder that he was still my favorite person. He beamed and draped an arm across my shoulders when I had settled back in my seat.

Delaney studied us thoughtfully for a moment before narrowing his eyes.

"Now that I've revealed my information," the duke said sternly, "I expect the favor to be returned. Who are you, Doctor, and what do you know of this creature?"

"Like I said, travelers." The Doctor was drawing small, affectionate circles against my upper arm. "Usually."

"And you are familiar with the beast?"

"Yeah. It's called a Chronomite. They feed on little tears in the fabric of reality. Not usually too dangerous until people get in their way. They're parasites, not predators."

"Chronomites," Delaney echoed, baffled.

The Doctor smirked a little. "Yep. Buffy here is the expert, though. I'm just her chaperone." He turned his head to me. "You looked surprised when he mentioned how the people were killed."

I nodded. "Yeah. They don't usually kill like that. They don't usually go after people, but when they do, they…" I grimaced, displeased with how calloused I sounded. "...swallow them whole."

Duke Delaney stared at me, apparently trying to process both me and what I'd just told him.

I went on, suddenly a little self-conscious. "This one's acting weird, too. It's like it's sick. Or rabid, maybe… or even being controlled."

"The Cardinal," Delaney said suddenly, snapping out of his thoughts. "You said he'd done something to it."

"Yeah. I uh…" I glanced at the Doctor for confirmation. He nodded. "I saw these… I dunno… sort of string things. They were attached to the Chronomite, kind of like a puppet. And they led back to the Cardinal."

"Strings?" Delaney echoed. "I don't remember seeing anything like that."

The Doctor fixed him with a hard look, similar to the one reserved for the Cardinal. "You said you didn't believe in magic. That it's all just science."

"That I did."

"Well, this is some of that science. Looks like magic, but isn't." He squeezed my shoulder. "Buffy's special. She has this… machine, something like your ancestors might've used, and it lets her see things and go places that other people can't."

Delaney leaned forward curiously. "May I see this… machine?"

I looked to the Doctor again to make sure he approved, then fished out the chain from around my neck and tugged the medallion from where I'd hidden it in my shirt.

While Delaney leaned forward to examine it, the Doctor went on, "Strings. Have you seen anything like 'em before?"

"No. But that has to be what's messing with the Chronomite. It's being too specific. I don't think that it would kill a whole family except one. And just a minute ago, it should've gone for me when I got it's attention, but it seemed weirdly determined to get him."

The Doctor looked thoughtful. "Some kind of telepathic link, maybe. Though I don't know why you'd be able to sense one. Mind, I don't know how the Cardinal would be able to produce one, either."

"What about the thing you mentioned earlier?" I asked. "The… the… matrix thingy."

"Neuro-Interlink Matrix."

"Yeah, that. You said that it connects itself to people and uses them. Could it be something to do with that? It's definitely something the Cardinal would have access to. And if it was, like, malfunctioning or something…"

The Doctor frowned. "Maybe. Or… probably, actually. The way the Neuro-Interlink Matrix works…" He paused, undoubtedly trying to figure out how to explain in terms I'd understand. "It isn't limited to one dimension. It's… heavier than most psychic communication. Suppose it's possible you'd be able to sense it."

I grinned, pleased. "Cool."

"Neuro… what?"

The Doctor and I both looked back to Delaney and simultaneously grimaced, both of us having forgotten he was there.

"Science," the Doctor said.

Delaney shook his head as if to clear it. "The way you both speak… it's… bizarre." He frowned. "You are not from here."

The Doctor smirked. "No, no we're not."

Delaney swallowed nervously, but there was no denying the excitement glittering in his eyes. "Then… where…?"

"You said your ancestors came from the stars," the Doctor said kindly. "So are we. Just a lot more recent. We only came for breakfast. Fantastic banana crepes."

"How?"

"A spaceship," the Doctor said simply. "Like the one your lot arrived in." He turned and pointed in the direction of the Cathedral. The shining curve of the dome was just visible in the thin gap between the house and the mountain side. "A bit more subtle, though."

I snorted. "Kinda."

"That we — " He blinked owlishly, and I couldn't help but laugh a little. It was sweet, really, watching him react to the news of aliens and spaceships; that the answers he'd been looking for had been around him all along. "You know us?"

The Doctor's smile was wide and genuine. "Absolutely. The human race. Can't seem to get rid of ya."

"What are you, if not human?" He demanded. His eyes flashed to me. "You both look like us."

"No, you lot look like me," the Doctor scoffed. "And anyway, Buffy's human. She's just from Earth, where your species started."

"Earth?" Delaney breathed. "I've heard reference to that. In the Forbidden Books."

"And these Forbidden Books, they're the ones you stole from the Cardinal?" The Doctor pressed, trying to get the conversation back on track. "Show me. There might be something in them that'll help us figure out what's happening."

~0~0~0~

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Delaney led us through the mansion. As I predicted, it was beautiful and ornate; black and white marble floors, elaborate paintings of scenery and people on horseback. The pearly white busts of men and women stared out from alcoves in the soft grey walls, brows furrowed with proud severity.

A handful of servants dressed in grey-blue bustled here and there. They ducked their heads as their master and his two strange guests cut through the main foyer and up the main staircase.

The duke showed us to his library. It was a nice, cushy room with a masculine touch; full of dark oak shelves and deep reds and greens. A wide wooden desk stood at the far side of the room, backed by large square windows that pale sunlight filtered through. A fireplace sat on the right, unlit. A low chestnut table surrounded on three sides by comfortable forest-green armchairs and by the fireplace on the fourth in preparation for a chilly winter's night.

Our host didn't stop here, but continued on to the far corner of the room, where I saw a small, inconspicuous door squashed between the last bookshelf and the far wall.

"I keep them in my private collection," he said by way of explanation, digging out a jangling keyring from his belt. "It's somewhat safer. I have the only key."

Delaney unlocked the door, opened it, and stood to the side so the Doctor could enter, but didn't go all the way in himself.

I stood beside Delaney and peered in over his shoulder. The "private collection" was housed in a room so tiny that literally only one person could fit in it at a time. A shelf lined each wall of the little rectangular room, floor to ceiling, decreasing the standing space to approximately three feet wide and six feet long.

The Doctor's broad shoulders brushed the shelves as he turned back to face us, causing the pages on one of the many withered, musty tomes to flutter. The smell of mold and dust tickled my sinuses. I fought the urge to sneeze.

"The back wall," Delaney directed, leaning in so that he blocked the only light, which came from the windows of the main room.

The Doctor waved him away. "I'll sort it. Get out of the light."

I backed away, content with leaving the Doctor to shuffle through the dusty books. He knew what he was looking for, and I didn't. Delaney went to his desk while I went to examine some of the books that didn't look like they would crumble away under my touch. I ran my finger down the spines, admiring the leather-bound covers.

I heard the chink of glass and looked up to see Delaney with a decanter and three glasses. He set the glasses down and filled two, leaving the Doctor's empty for when he finished his task. I took the glass offered to me and settled back in one of the arm chairs.

"What's Earth like?" Delaney inquired, perching himself in the chair next to mine, doing his hardest not to seem too eager.

I shrugged. "Not too different from here, I guess. People tend to come up with the same stuff and do the same things no matter where you are."

"Where did you live on Earth? Have you any family?"

"No family. But when I was on Earth, I stayed in a place called London. It's a city. But I've been living on the Doctor's ship for about a year and a half now."

"And he is your chaperone?"

I laughed. "Sort of, I guess."

"Then how would you describe your relationship?"

I refused to blush at the word relationship, knowing full well that he wasn't implying what most people would be.

I took a sip of my drink to ensure my nerves stayed steady. Managed not to wince at the taste. "I'm his traveling companion. He wanders the universe, and sometimes needs help with all the trouble he gets into. That's where I come in."

"So… you work as his assistant?"

"Yeah, basically," I said. "I don't really think of it as a job, but you can put it that way."

"And when this… 'job' ends, will you go back to London?"

I stiffened.

.

~0~0~0~

"How long do you plan on travelling with the Doctor?" The man's question was innocent and more or less kindly meant. Despite knowing this, my blood froze, as I had been blindsided by the question.

We were at a cocktail party in 2327. The host, who I was currently speaking with, was a rotund blue man bearing a mustache that had an uncanny resemblance to a caterpillar. He went by the name Milton Esq, and he was a very old friend of the Doctor.

They went all the way back to the Time Lord's third body, and since the Doctor had made a point of stopping by at least once a regeneration. When the Doctor had decided to make a surprise visit with me in tow, Milton managed to prolong our stay by throwing a party in the Time Lord's honor.

He was nice enough. A wealthy businessman and master chess player. He was easy to get along with, so long as you were willing to overlook the fact that he smelled like cheese and had a tendency to ramble. At 251 years of age, he was holding up pretty well, and he made sure that everyone knew it.

"Until he gets bored of me, I guess." I said jokingly, but the thought of leaving the TARDIS settled like a rock in my gut.

Milton chuckled and nodded sagely, his mustache rippling and causing his upper lip to flap. "That's how it goes, doesn't it?"

My mouth had gone dry. I took a sip of the ginger ale I'd been carrying, not being overly fond of alcohol. I smiled politely. "Guess so."

"I remember most of 'em that came before," he continued. "Pretty young lasses, an' a few handsome blokes, too! All bright young things… each sharp as a tack! They all were. Let's see, there was that cute little blonde…"

I nodded along. Listening as Milton described companions. I recognized Jo and Sarah Jane. He got Harry and Turlough confused.

Would I be on that list one day? Just a passing figure to mention to whoever showed up next. Would he even remember my name?

My hands were tingling. I gripped my glass tighter, chasing the sensation of the cold in hopes of warding away the encroaching numbness.

"Then there was this young woman… Leela, I think. Boy, did she know a thing or two about explosives…"

"Ace," I corrected. My heart was beating inexplicably rapidly, like I had been running. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Pardon?"

"I think you mean Ace. She was good at blowing stuff up."

Milton's eyes brightened with recognition. "Yeah, that's right! Which one was Leela, then?"

I was fighting to not pant. My racing heart demanded more oxygen. Hyperventilating in public was not an option. All the words came out in a rush. "She liked hunting and fighting."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, yes. I remember now. Dressed like a wild thing. Dear me, how my mind slips." He squinted at me quizzically. "What did you say your name was, again? I'd hate to forget. I'm getting on a bit. Everyone blurs together."

"Buffy," I said breathlessly. "Buffy Reid."

I couldn't stay with him forever. I knew that.

So why is it so hard to breathe?

I excused myself and weaved my way through the crowd, forcing myself to make measured steps and not rush.

He would leave me.

I would be alone.

It wasn't the first time the thought had occurred to me, but it was the first time I actually understood it to be inevitable.

I was going to be alone.

A deep, inexplicable panic chilled me to the bone. Visceral, fight or flight. The Doctor didn't keep his companions around forever. They aged, and he didn't. I imagined it must be cruel, to him, to see his once-vivacious friends wither away while he stayed frozen. So he left them, returned them to their lives while he galavanted off with someone else. Someone young and fresh. Rinse. Repeat.

I found an abandoned corner down an empty hallway. The sounds of the party were faint. My lungs were screaming. I finally allowed myself to take in a great gulp of air. My legs felt like jelly. I pressed my back against the wall.

To him, his companions would be preserved like taxidermy, frozen in time and ready for another quick adventure - if he ever had half a mind to visit. Still young and alive for centuries. While sad to the companion, it wasn't all bad. They had lives to return to. Families. Careers. Houses and cars and friends.

I had none of that. I was completely, entirely alone.

Alone.

Just the Doctor.

He would leave me too, one day. I was human. I was aging, even though the vagaries of my early twenties made it difficult to tell. My face shape had changed a little since the first time I'd seen it in that hotel mirror. My cheekbones were sharper and my brow slightly more distinguished. Two and a half years of change. Slight, but visible all the same.

What would happen in another five? Ten? How long would it be before he thought it was time for me to go?

What would I do then?

My breath came too fast, in quiet, shallow gasps. The distant sounds of the party were garbled as if I were underwater. My fingers and toes tingled with numbness. I couldn't see properly. Couldn't focus. My surroundings fuzzed and blurred as muddled shadows danced in and out of view.

What did I have to go back to? To an empty flat in the middle of a city that was nearly as alien to me as the places we visited? No family? No friends? No career? And no degree to even help me get one? Hell, I didn't even have money of my own, just the stupid physic credit card.

I was alone.

Alone.

My time in this universe before meeting the Doctor had been the worst fourteen months of my life. I had been so fucking lonely.

But then I'd met my best friend, and I wasn't lonely anymore.

I would be alone again.

I couldn't do that every day.

Couldn't.

Can't.

So fucking alone.

Worthless and alone.

Something wrapped around my waist, drawing me in until I was held fast to something solid. The Doctor. It had to be. His voice reverberated through his chest, but I couldn't make out the words.

I closed my eyes and focused on the Doctor's hand rubbing my back. Slow and rhythmic. Intentionally paced to encourage a resting heart rate. Up. Down. Up. Down. I struggled to time my breathing to it.

I wasn't sure how long we stood like that. It felt like an eternity, but eventually, I felt myself start to calm. I curled my fingers into the fabric of his shirt, relishing each slow, shaky breath I was able to take.

When I opened my eyes, my vision had mostly cleared, save for some fuzz at the edges. The Doctor's eyes appeared perfectly clear, though. Icy hue made richer by the deeper blue of his jumper; soft with worry.

"Buff," the Doctor murmured, brushing a thumb across my cheek to wipe away the stray tears that had leaked out unbidden. "Tell me."

"Sorry. Stupid. M'sorry," I mumbled, suddenly unable to look him in the face. I turned away, cheeks hot with embarrassment. God, I was stupid. I could put up with Chronomites and monsters and a ton of other stuff. But what really set me off? A normal life. I shook my head. What kind of - "Stupid."

"Oi," he growled softly, protectively tucking me back against him. "None of that. Let me help."

I'll be alone, I wanted to say. I can't be alone again. Please don't leave me.

But I didn't. It was too much to ask. Instead I rested my head on his chest; curled my fingers into the leather of his jacket. The double beat of his twin hearts reverberated through my mind, and I focused on committing it to memory in preparation for the days when I wouldn't be able to hear it.

~0~0~0~

.

"Eh. Maybe." I waved my hand dismissively. "Like I said, I don't have any family there."

"What about work? Or perhaps a hobby to call you back?"

I downed the rest of my drink, relishing the way it burned down my throat. "Not really, no. But I'll find something to do, I guess. Traveling, doing the things I've been doing, it's all good experience. I can probably use it for something."

"Hunting monsters is considered good experience?" He scoffed incredulously. "Is that an Earth expectation?"

"Well… no," I laughed. "Not really."

Delaney shook his head in bemusement. "You're an odd creature."

"Thanks."

"I say that as a compliment," he added quickly. "Our society could use more individuals with your traits." He cast me a sideways glance. "I was almost hoping I could convince you to stay."

I quirked an eyebrow - something that I could do in this body but couldn't in my last. "Almost?"

"Yes… well… I can't imagine you'd find life in this dreary old house very entertaining."

"Oh, so I'd be staying with you?" This time I couldn't stop the blush that spread across my cheeks. "And what would I be doing in your house, exactly?"

It was his turn to blush. It was cute. My heart beat a little faster.

He coughed nervously. "Assisting with… diplomatic… endeavors. Formal dinners. State visits. Legal representation."

"Assisting, huh?" I bit back a grin. "Have you been looking for someone to give you a hand with all that?"

"In moderation," he admitted, ducking his head shyly. "But I have yet to find someone that fits the appropriate requirements."

I nodded seriously. It was fun to think about. Fun to flirt. Fun to imagine myself as a wealthy duke's wife, gliding around marble floors; draped in fine silks with servants at my command.

It was just a passing fantasy, of course. I had no intention of staying behind, titles and riches be damned. I was no one's wife.

My slightly amused and dismissive train of thought suddenly became wistful as I found myself wondering if I ever would be.

Getting married wasn't exactly on my bucket list, nor had it ever been. But that wasn't to say that I didn't want to find someone with whom to spend my life. Unfortunately, life on the TARDIS didn't lend itself to forming a long-lasting relationship. Sure, you met a lot of phenomenal people - phenomenal, interesting, available people - but never long enough for anything to develop.

It shouldn't have been frustrating, but it was. By my estimates, I was almost twenty-two. Which was young, really young. But as young as twenty-two was, I had never actually been in a real relationship. Sure, a few people had come and gone. A few one night stands that happened in that terrible year before I met the Doctor, and the handful of people I'd snuck away with when the Doctor wasn't paying attention. But actually dating? Never.

Still, the attention was nice. In my old body - in my old universe - I'd never gotten any.

I was overtaken by a strange burst of dysmorphia, stronger than I'd felt in months. The duke wasn't the first to show interest in this body - this grey eyed, red-headed, elvish young woman. They liked Buffy. But were they attracted to me, or to Mirror Girl?

You are Buffy, I reminded myself. Whoever this body belonged to before, it was mine now.

Hopefully, they wouldn't ask for it back.

I was distracted by an irritated huff and glanced up to see the Doctor glaring at us from across the room.

"There's a time and a place," he grumped.

I snorted. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

The Doctor stomped forward and dumped an armful of dusty tomes out onto the table. Delaney winced at the rough treatment of his peoples' history, but the Doctor didn't seem to care.

"The original settlers documented the collapse of the matrix," he explained, flipping open one of the books and pointing to a page. I came around to peer over his shoulder, but the books weren't well preserved and couldn't make much out of the small, faded script. "There was a… a blockage of some sort. The engineers couldn't work it out, but power wasn't getting from one place to another, like there was a leak somewhere in the system."

"Could it have been the rift?" I asked. "I know there was one in the Cathedral."

"Probably. There's not much that could take out that kind of Matrix."

"If I fix the rift, will the Matrix start working again?"

"Dunno. I'd have to see what kind of damage is left." He flipped a few pages and studied whatever he found. "They managed to catalogue the problems pretty well. I think I should be able to repair the remaining damage."

"I don't understand," Delaney interjected. His brow furrowed as he tried to make out the words on the page the Doctor was currently pouring over. "What is this Matrix?"

"It's kind of like a mind," I tried to explain. "A machine mind. It works and thinks like our brains."

The Doctor nodded approvingly at my description. "Time was, this machine mind was a kind of bridge between the minds of your ancestors and the ship. But that bridge was broken by the rift. With the bridge gone, the society your ancestors built fell apart. War broke out. Now we're going to try and fix the bridge."

The duke blinked thoughtfully. He looked kind of confused, but seemed to get the gist of it. "But what about the monster? How does it fit into all of this?"

"The Chronomite showed up because the rift was there," I said. "That's where they feed."

"And the Cardinal?"

"I have a theory." The Doctor shut the book with a snap and moved to another. After a moment of flicking through it, he turned it so we could see a faded diagram of what resembled a metal wand. About the size of a short swagger stick, a few buttons dotted up the side, ending with what made me think of a marble jammed onto the end. "Recognize this, Duke Delaney?"

Delaney's eyes widened. "Yes! The Cardinal has one. And so do I. I took it when I took the books."

The Doctor perked up. "Let's see it, then."

"A moment."

Delaney hopped up in a very unduke-like manner and shot out of the room like a startled hare.

The Doctor snorted when he was out of the room. "You can do better."

I swatted his arm playfully. "Was the Hemovore better?"

The Doctor mock-winced and rubbed the place I'd hit. "Marginally. This one's a bit pretty."

"You're just jealous."

Ears reddening, he scoffed. "Oh? Who of?"

"Me, obviously." I flipped my hair dramatically. "You want the fancy-pants duke to yourself."

Delaney tripped back into the room, just barely managing to keep from dropping the long wooden box he carried.

The Doctor scrunched his nose. "Think I'll pass."

Delaney laid the box down gingerly on the table. It was old, I could see, but recently polished with wax so the wood shone. The lid slid away slowly, revealing a very old, somewhat mangled version of the wand-thing in the book.

The Doctor picked it up, either not noticing Delaney's dismay at having such a valuable artifact handled so flippantly or not caring. He turned it over in his hands. A fascinated smile touched his lips. "Fantastic."

"So what is it?" I inquired, leaning over his arm for a better look.

Apparently my leaning on him interfered with his examination. He shrugged me off, but then turned so I could see it better. "It's one of the command modules for the Matrix. See, while the Matrix telepathically connects from brain to brain - which makes the connection flexible - the connection between the main system and these are fixed. You can take these anywhere in the universe, an' you'd still be able to communicate with the main Matrix. Brilliant."

"The Cardinal has one. Is that how he's controlling the Chronomite?"

The Doctor nodded, face set in a serious expression. "From what I can make out, the Matrix can't connect with minds like it normally would. But these are still hardwired to it."

"The WiFi's down," I summarized, "so you plug your laptop directly into the modem."

The Time Lord's brooding expression melted away and he beamed; the sun peeking out between storm clouds. I preened, always pleased to make him happy. "Exactly. It'd make sense to be able to use it to direct the remaining system to influence other minds, especially one as simple as a Chronomite's. The Cardinal connects to the Matrix, tells the Chronomite what to do, the Matrix reaches out to encourage it to happen through the module."

"Would he be able to control people?" Delaney asked worriedly.

I was kind of proud of him. He clearly had no real grasp of what was going on, but was determined to help and doing the best he could to understand. Working with people from less-developed societies was always difficult. You could never properly explain to them what was happening, and there was almost nothing you could base even the most simplified explanations on. At least in the late twentieth and early twenty-first century, you could use sci-fi books and tv shows as a point of reference. Here, and on past Earth, there was nothing.

The Doctor pressed his lips into a thin line. "Shouldn't think so. The system's weak, an' human minds are a lot stronger than the Chronomite's."

"Worst case?" I pressed.

He took out his sonic and began scanning the module. "Low level psychic attack. Images, maybe. Feelings. Impulses. Nothing too serious. You might get a funny mood swing, but even someone that's not trained against psychic attacks should be able to resist any commands."

Delaney watched in befuddlement as the Doctor soniced the module, then flinched when the previously dormant rod suddenly sputtered to life.

"It was offline," the Doctor said, voice tinged with amusement. "Loose connection. It's fixed now, but we'll need the other to reboot the entire system once the rift is healed."

"So," I started, counting off on my fingers. "We've got to fix the rift. Get rid of the Chronomite. Get the other module. See what condition the Matrix is in. Fix it. Reboot it. Is that it?"

"More or less."

I poured myself another swallow from the decanter and downed it, pulling a face at the taste. "Well, those first two things are on me. So I should probably get started."

~0~0~0~

.

Responses to Reviews:

bored411: lol sorry for the slow update. Thanks for reviewing!

C. S. Stars : Yeah, I don't dislike her, but i definitely think she gets more hype than she deserves. And I'm glad you like my original stories! They're not easy to write, but I think it's kinda fun. My trick is literally to pick out an obscure historical figure or watch Top5s creepy/unexplained videos on Youtube and try to build a story around it. Sometimes it makes it even harder, but It's what I've had the best luck with. Thanks for reviewing!

cruelzy : Not this chapter, bc there's a bit of filler in it, but the next one gets kinda dark. And, well, darkness is fun :) Glad you could reread it and still find it enjoyable. A reread is a massive compliment!

The Timeless Child : Thank You! I'm looking forward to Rose too. it's going to be fun to work on :)

Sam2357 : Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying these original chapters. I'm really looking forward to writing her influence on canon, too. Hopefully I'll be able to make it interesting. Also glad you like the Doc and Buffy's relationship so far. I live in fear of making it feel forced. Thanks for reading/reviewing!

Arcknight3 : I love their little fluffy moments. God knows they both need them. i have some interesting stuff planned around Rose, so hopefully you'll enjoy it too.

savethemadscientist : Yeah, that ending was kind of disturbing, and unfortunately, the next chapter is going to be too. And I love Geronimo the mouse :) There's more of them helping each other through the bad times in the future, so hopefully you'll enjoy them. Thanks for reading!

meowmixkitkat : Your review made me so fucking happy. So thank you for that. And yeah, you don't need to have seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer to understand this fic, it's just to show that our Buffy's just a little nerd that would name herself after one of her favorite fictional characters, given the opportunity. Sorry-not sorry for messing with your sleep schedule ;P but I'm the same. Since quarantine, I've been going to bed around 4 am and getting up around 2 pm. WHich, you know, kinda sucks but oh well. I'm super stoked that you think this fic is funny and worth a binge, that means a lot to me. And yeah, she was Carly, but we'll get more into that in later chapters. Thanks so freaking much for your review! It's ones like that that keep me writing :)

Nonononopebutterlettuce : Thank you! Yeah, those fics are kind of boring to read and even more boring to write. I'll find myself skimming through them, looking for the original bits. So I hope you find the canon-based episodes to be worth reading when we get to them.

deathb4beauty : Thanks! I'd wanted to do something with the Titanic for a while, but decided it was best for the story as a whole to make it a brief part of a chapter. And I adore writing the fluff. Angst/fluff and hurt/comfort is my jam. I'll read/write it whenever I can. Wow, France. That's a big change from the Atlanta area. We'll get back to Dragon Con eventually, even if it's not this year. Until then, happy fanfiction!

SoloPlayer339 : Ah, yes! Thanks for reminding me of that. There was supposed to be a chapter that get into that before now, but I've pushed it back to a later chapter. But yeah, it's not exactly like that, but time is definitely funny in the Otherside, your instincts are spot-on. I'll get into it later ;)

QuirkyKim : Aww thank you!

Guest : Never fear! I have no plans to drop this fic. I'm just an unreliable updater. Thanks for reading!

Spoonsinthesink : I'll make a note of the human conversation thing, bc you're absolutely right, that's a good idea. I'm glad you like how shes's reacting to being dumped into the DW universe, bc that's something that's bothered me in some of the fics I've read. Glad you thought this was worth a binge! I'll do my best to keep it interesting. Thanks for reading!