Author's Notes

Uh. about this chapter... sorry if it sucks.

Tried something experimental at the very end of the chapter. Let me know if it works or not. EDIT: removed the experimental bit bc people thought it was overdone and I agree :)

Haven't written part four yet, but hopefully shouldn't take long.

WARNINGS: VIOLENCE - DESCRIPTION OF HANGING - DEATH(KINDA) - DESCRIPTION OF PTSD - LANGUAGE

.

~0~0~0~

Chapter Twenty Five: The Nightmare Paradigm

Part Three

~0~0~0~

.

Trying to help Delaney understand the things I did had been both hilarious and a pain.

The Doctor and I had decided that the safest thing to do to prevent me being mistaken for a witch was to use the mansion library as the safe point to enter and exit the Otherside. But before I could set off, we had to try and explain the Otherside to our host, and then reassure him that my disappearing act was science. Not magic. That I was definitely human and absolutely not a witch.

He seemed a little uncertain and just a tad bit unsteady after watching me come in and out a few times, but ultimately decided that whatever my abilities were, they were beyond him. But as long as they weren't malicious, he was on board with whatever it was the Doctor and I had planned.

Not that there was much of a plan, anyway. Basically, I just needed to get the rift sealed and take care of the Chronomite, which needed to be out of the way before confronting the Cardinal. Without his personal attack dog, the deaths would stop and we would be at significantly less personal risk.

I set out for the Cathedral just after sunset. It wasn't a long walk; about half a mile. Despite this, I found myself struggling to cover the distance. It made me realize that, after all my time working and fighting in the Otherside, I had never walked more than fifty yards in it at once.

The difference was baffling, and I made a mental note to ask the Doctor about it later. It was like walking in sand or deep snow; every step is a battle that you don't realize you're fighting until you're only halfway there and you feel like your legs are about to give up the ghost.

The road leading into the Cathedral gardens was even more eerie than in the normal dimension. Especially at night, objects seemed to blur surreally in the mist, taking on an ethereal glow. The twisted, agonized statues of fear and suffering looked a lot more like people in Blank-form than stone, and I found myself flinching away everytime a new one reared out of the darkness, having briefly mistaken it for a real person.

Not that a real person could hurt me here, anyway. The only things that could notice me, let alone cause me any harm were the Chronomites, and they weren't exactly subtle creatures.

Still, I keep my eyes down and away from the statues as I hurry up the steps and into the Cathedral.

Upon seeing the archway, I forgot all about the statues in favor of being disturbed by something else. Through the mist of the people that had been and would be in the room, hovering over the dangling ghosts of the people strung up beneath the Arch, was the rift.

Long and deep, the crack rippled across the archway. It sliced seamlessly through wires and steel, disrupting all kinds of connections. Though the faults were invisible to the naked eye, I was not quite classified as 'normal'. I could sense the way the electricity was siphoned away from its intended pathways. The psychic computer sputtered, telepathic connections choked by the rift.

I could feel it, I realized. I could feel it screaming.

The computer was alive.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, heartbroken by the agony that tainted and fluttered through the mist. "I'll fix it. I promise."

No time to lose, I set to work sealing the rift. Even though I was no expert on telepathic matrixes, I could tell that the Doctor would have a lot of work on his hands. As expected, the rift was interfering with the way the Matrix would usually connect with people. The Doctor had explained the way the Arch would usually function; how the Arch was basically the transmitter and receiver for the Matrix's mainframe.

While I worked, I pondered the issue presented by the Chronomite. I had no idea if the matter of it being under the Cardinal's influence would make it harder to kill or not. I assumed I would have to kill it, even though I would much rather not. I really didn't like having to kill anything, even if it was just an extra dimensional fungus. If only I could find a way to shove it through the rift before closing it...

A wave of sickness washed over me, and I knew that my wish had been granted.

I was immediately on my feet, blade in hand. I faced the Chronomite fearlessly as it prowled through the arch, a snarl building from deep within its cavernous chest.

It hissed at me. I circled clockwise, watching closely as it turned its massive, leathery head, sure to keep its massive fangs between us.

The strings attached to the back of its skull vibrated, tugging savagely and sending tremors through the fog. The Chronomite shivered in response. It shook itself, clacked it's jaws, and charged.

I leapt to the side, sidestepping its attack with practiced ease. The creature skittered past, stumbling and scrabbling as it tried to turn its bulk back around.

Instinctively, I reached for the strands. The medallion burned against my skin. I took a thread in hand and snapped it clean in two.

The Chronomite half turned. I leapt away, ready to dodge another attempt.

But it didn't come. The Chronomite stood stock still, as if stunned. Then it shivered and slowly, as if made of mechanical parts, sank down into a crouch.

For a moment, all I could do was stare at it. I blinked once. Twice. Was this… some kind of trick? I wasn't sure they were capable of the thought processes required to come up with a trap.

"You… okay?" I asked it, inching forward cautiously.

A low rumble rose from it, halfway between a growl and a purr. I moved closer, but it didn't react, not even when I lifted a hand and laid it on its leathery flank. I stood there, half amazed and half horrified by my own daring as I ran my fingers down the creature's neck, coming to a stop at the junction of it's shoulder and it's extra set of arms.

It rumbled and shook its head. I realized what it wanted.

Slowly, in case the monster changed its mind or forgot that I was helping it, I took each extra dimensional string in hand and snapped them one by one. They burned beneath my fingers, each about the thickness of my thumb. I could feel the energy flowing through them. The intent. When I touched them I could practically hear the Cardinal's thoughts.

Cardinal Bancroft didn't realize what was happening until it was too late. I felt his confusion morph into desperation.

His voice hissed into my mind, Witch!

"Get fucked," I muttered.

The Cardinal's anger was quickly silenced as I snapped the final thread connecting him to his monstrous marionette.

I backed away from the Chronomite and watched as it realized it was finally free. It stood slowly, as if awakened from a deep sleep. It stretched and tested each of its six limbs. It's shoulders rolled. Joints cracked.

With an appreciative growl, the Chronomite turned its eyeless gaze to the half-sewn rift. I didn't even mind when the threads I had painstakingly worked into the jagged edges were snapped as the Chronomite crawled out of the universe and into the blank space beyond.

I smiled to myself, feeling oddly satisfied.

"Good luck, buddy."

~0~0~0~

.

.

~0~0~0~

"So we just sit here, twiddling our thumbs, while she risks her life confronting that… that thing?"

The Doctor glared at the human from his place by the hearth. He had been hunched over the Forbidden books for the last hour, resigned to studying them while his friend was away. The only thing worse than being forced to wait for Buffy was being forced to wait with someone that would not stop whining about it.

"I don't like it either," the Time Lord snapped. In fact, he hated it. Always had. The Doctor would have given anything to be at her side, to protect and help her during her expeditions to the place she had dubbed 'The Otherside'. But there wasn't much he could do about it, and to make up for it, he was determined to keep her as safe as he possibly could in the regular world. Which, at the moment, meant making sure she had a safe place to come back to. "She'll be fine. She usually is."

Usually.

The Doctor swallowed hard, hiding it by pretending to read the book in front of him with doubled intensity. Images flashed through his head: blood streaking her pale skin, soaking into her clothes. Her terrified eyes rolling back into her head. The weight of her dangling in his arms. She had barely weighed anything at all. The Doctor might as well have been holding a doll. Except dolls didn't bleed.

She had only been injured in the Otherside a handful of times, but each occasion had been bad enough to put her life in the balance. She had recovered and moved on each time as if it had been nothing. But the Doctor never forgot. Images of her fear and pain followed him into his nightmares, each a stinging reminder of yet another instance where he'd failed to keep her safe.

"But what's the point of waiting?" Delaney said impatiently, pacing back and forth on the carpet. "Wouldn't it be quicker to fetch the other module while Miss Reid repairs the rift?"

The Doctor sighed and massaged the bridge of his nose, growing tired of this particular human. Buffy couldn't come back quick enough. He needed her as an intermediary between himself and the average apes. "We don't know if Buffy's taken care of the Chronomite yet. If she hasn't, we'd end up dead. We can't fight it without her."

The duke rounded his desk and flopped down in the chair behind it. Much to the Doctor's relief, he fell quiet, lost in his own thoughts.

Unfortunately, the silence didn't last.

"It concerns me that he still has the module-stick," Delaney admitted after a few minutes. "Such a man shouldn't have that kind of power. I dread to think what else he may do in the meantime."

"Once the Chronomite is gone, there won't be much he can do," the Doctor pointed out. "Like I said, the Matrix is too weak to have much effect on people."

Delaney frowned, worry weighing on his brow like a brick. "Would he know that Buffy is sealing the rift?"

The Doctor shrugged."Don't see why he would."

"What about the monster? Would he sense if she were to confront or kill it?"

"Maybe. Why?"

"If he knows he is losing his grip, he'll become desperate. With his monster or without, he's a powerful, influential man. Who knows what he might do?"

The Doctor grunted in acknowledgment and flipped a page, forcing himself to ponder over the schematics of the Arch - otherwise known as the Telepathic Quantum Distributor.

"He's feeding it," the Doctor muttered, mostly to himself.

"What?"

"The Cardinal. He's feeding the Matrix," he said, louder for Delaney's benefit. Explaining things out loud helped him to work through his thoughts. Naturally, he'd prefer Buffy - a proper companion that could at least partially understand what he was saying - but the duke would have to do. "The Matrix… it needs to be connected to human minds. That's how it gains processing power, how it functions. But with the rift stunting it's transmission, it can't reach out for them on its own."

"So… the Cardinal…" Delaney blinked, confused. "Feeds it minds?"

"Yeah. Spoon feeds it, even. That's why he hangs people under the Arch. There, they're basically in physical contact with the Matrix. From there it can use proximity-based electrical nodes to reach out to the mind - bit of a botch job, mind you."

"Is that the… uh… blue lightning?"

A manic grin spread across the Doctor's face. Delaney found it unsettling to look at. "The blue lightning. That's the Matrix reaching out, tryin' to make contact. Fantastic. It figured that out all on its own. First rate problem solving, that is."

Delaney scowled. "If it's so fantastic, why must the people it connects with be executed?"

The Doctor's smile fell away. He at least had the decency to look a little sheepish. "Like I said earlier, the Matrix is weak. It's trying to integrate human minds into it - that's what it was programmed to do. Only it's not strong enough to absorb a healthy human mind. But a scared, dying mind?"

"That, it can use," Delaney finished bitterly.

"Yeah." The Doctor shifted in his seat, suddenly uncomfortable. He cast Delaney a side-ways glance. "You alright?"

Delaney didn't answer right away. He sat quietly, collecting his thoughts. "What do you know of our religion, Doctor?"

"Just what I've seen."

"From the time we are children, we are told the story of a lonely god. He settled in our world alone, longing to make a connection with lesser beings. He wanted nothing more than to be loved, so when he created our people, he designed our lives so that we will live through both joys and sorrows. And then at the end, in our dying moments, he shows us our pains, our fears, our nightmares, so that when we finally join with him, we go to him with open arms."

Delaney looked up, meeting the Doctor's eyes.

"I'm not religious, Doctor," he went on. "But if this story is based on a reality, then I understand the Cardinal's motives. He thinks he is giving the god - this Matrix - the people's minds. It's considered an honor to die within the Cathedral. To have the god show you your fears before joining with him."

He frowned down at his folded hands before continuing.

"But lately, that has fallen out of fashion. New offshoots of the religion have taken root. They say that the god will welcome you no matter where you die, and will allow you to bond with him even without reviewing your deepest fears. Bancroft has been one of the most vocal critics of this shift. It sickens me, to know that the Cardinal believes he is doing what is morally correct."

"I know," the Doctor said softly. "It's not easy to have everything you've been taught thrown back at you."

"But that's not excuse to murder people to satisfy what you believe your god wants!"

"Yes. But I wasn't talking about the Cardinal," the Doctor corrected, surprisingly gentle. "I was talking about you."

Delaney stared at him, bewildered. "I'm not religious."

"Doesn't matter. You've been taught this stuff for as long as you can remember, right in the shadow of where the oldest, strictest forms of the religion began. An' today you've learned that the Cathedral is a spaceship, the old god is a malfunctioning machine, and that aliens exist and walk among you." The Doctor gave him one of his rare, genuine smiles. "So give yourself some credit, Your Grace. You're doing fantastic."

Delaney smiled shyly, blushing at the unexpected compliment. He opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a series of rapid-fire knocks to the library door.

Cuthbert bustled in without being told to do so, looking rather flushed, as if he'd just ran all the way up the stairs. The Doctor had half a mind to tell Delaney off about not locking the door. Now the damn butler knew that Buffy was no longer in the Library.

Before he could complain, the butler blurted out the reason for his urugency. "Your Grace! A letter has just arrived from the High Palace!"

Delaney sprang to his feet, holding out his hand expectantly. "Thank you, Cuthbert. Give it here."

The duke waited for Cuthbert to exit the room before he cracked the wax seal. He took a moment to steel himself, closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before unfolding the parchment. There were a few moments of tense silence before a broad grin broke out across Delaney's face.

"Good news?" The Doctor asked, one corner of his mouth twitching up in bemusement.

"I should say! The Royal Court has approved my request for aid. The King is sending an armed guard, as well as a team of Royal Inspectors."

"Fantastic," the Doctor said. "When?"

Delaney skimmed the letter and frowned. "First moon-day." He looked up at the Doctor. "Tomorrow."

The Doctor, not getting it, fixed him with a pleasantly confused look. "And?"

"The letter," Delaney explained. "How am I just receiving the letter the day before they arrive?"

"Ah, right. Mail doesn't travel fast here, does it? They would've sent it ages before they left home." Understanding washed across the Doctor's face. "It's been intercepted. Withheld."

"And by who else, but the Cardinal?"

"He didn't want you to know help was on the way. He's runnin' out of time," the Doctor muttered. "He's got till tomorrow. Maybe he was planning on using the Chronomite to convince the Royal Guard that there really was a problem. And if Buffy's gotten rid of it…"

"He has only one night left to seize power." Dread clouded the duke's handsome features.

As if summoned, Cuthbert rematerialized at the door. "Your Grace. Cardinal Bancroft and his men have been seen moving towards the town. They claim to have proof of another witch."

The Doctor sprung to his feet. "We can't let him arrest anyone else before the Royal Inspectors get here. It's probably the last chance he'll get to sacrifice someone to the Matrix. Come on."

Delaney didn't hesitate to scramble after the Doctor, who had darted out the door and down the stairs, taking them two at a time.

"But what about Miss Reid?"

"She can handle herself," the Doctor insisted. "She's clever."

~0~0~0~

.

.

~0~0~0~

Nothing else noteworthy happened during the time it took to finish sewing the rift. I used tiny, precise stitches, determined to heal the wound as cleanly as possible. A part of me had hoped that fixing the tear would be enough to ease the Matrix's pain. But I could still feel it writhing.

"The Doctor will have to do the rest," I murmured to it as I turned to leave. "Don't worry, it'll be over soon."

I hoped I wasn't lying. But I couldn't imagine that the Doctor would leave the Matrix as it was; he would fix it, or shut it down. Hopefully the former.

The walk back to the estate was as slow and exhausting as before. I reasoned that there was probably an easier way, but I would have to get the Doctor to read into it - all the books on the Otherside were exclusively in Circular Gallifreyan, which the TARDIS wouldn't translate for me.

I paused at the garden gate for a breather, solidifying the metal bars so I could lean against them. With the Chronomite gone, I wasn't as afraid of the weird, shimmering shapes that loomed in the Otherside. Especially now that I was out of the Cathedral garden.

I looked around. Not that the duke's garden was much to look at in this dimension. The flowers were nothing more than strange furls of mist. Translucent structures; vague impressions of plants. When I sniffed the air, I couldn't smell their sweet perfume. Just the icy tang of metal and dust that I'd come to associate with the Otherside.

Something flashed at the corner of my eye. It was small and bright. I turned. Blinked.

Something strange was happening down the mountain. Through the diaphanous trees, I could glimpse the town below. On the outskirts, something glowed and shimmered like a flashlight underwater.

I stared at it, transfixed.

What the hell was it?

I took a step towards it. Then another. I paused, looked guiltily back at the ghost of the mansion.

I had promised the Doctor that I wouldn't recross to the regular world outside of the Library, but I couldn't help but investigate. He couldn't get mad at me for looking around while within the safety of the Otherside, right? And anyway, if something weird was going down, the Doctor was sure to already be at the heart of it.

Decision made, I scampered down the mountain.

Going down the mountain was significantly easier than walking between ridges. To my tired legs, it still felt like walking in sand, but at least now I had the advantage of gravity. Or at least the illusion of gravity. Physics didn't exactly work the same way here.

Something else to ask the Doctor.

A few minutes later saw me panting at the bottom of the mountain, having done my level best to run the distance. I circled the town perimeter, skirting some of the outlier houses and walking straight through others.

The source of the light turned out to be a farmhouse a short distance from the rest, situated by the river that ran alongside the settlement. There was the main house, and then some kind of barn a short distance downstream.

Oh, I thought, somewhat ashamed at not realizing what it was earlier. Fire.

Both the house and barn were ablaze. Blank-figures dashed to and fro like specters on a final haunt. From the Otherside, the flames didn't seem to lick hungrily at the structure, but slowly leech across the sides like liquid. I couldn't see the fire, just the glow and the destruction it left in its wake.

From what I could tell, the townsfolk were doing their best to contain the blaze, but were fighting a losing battle. The house was all but consumed, but the fire had only taken over about half of the barn, slowly eating away at the roof.

Behind the presumed shelter of a large oak, I exited the Otherside. At once, I was hit by a wall of heat and noise. I staggered under the sheer force of the volume alone; people shouting, the flames roaring like a great beast.

No one paid me any mind as I slipped seamlessly through the small crowd, looking for either familiar faces or an opportunity to help. Even in the regular world - rendered unremarkable by chaos - I was invisible.

Going unnoticed turned out to be an advantage. I recognized a few of the trademark blood-red robes of the Holy Guard among the people pumping water from the river. But at the time, I didn't think of this as strange. Most of the town was helping, so why shouldn't a few of the church guard as well?

At the edge of the hustle, I caught sight of one of the familiar faces I'd been looking for. Delaney sat leaned against a wagon with two speckled grey draft horses fidgeting and stomping in their harnesses. They were fire horses pulling a medical wagon, and despite knowing they were trained to remain still and calm in situations like this, I gave them a wide berth as I ran to Delaney's side.

"What happened?" I demanded. He was injured. Nasty red blisters had spread on his hands and up the left side of his face. Blood trickled from his nose and temple, mixing with the soot that smeared across his features. "Are you okay?"

He had been staring off at nothing while a nurse gingerly bathed his burns, but looked up when I hurried over to crouch beside him.

"Miss Reid!" He waved the nurse away impatiently. She cast me a startled look, but picked up her skirts and vanished around the wagon to tend to the other injured. "Thank goodness you are unharmed."

"I wish I could say the same to you." I picked up the wash rag the nurse had left and continued dabbing at the cut on his head. "What the hell happened? Where's the Doctor?"

Delaney ground his teeth together angrily. "The Cardinal started this. It's his revenge for us undermining him."

"Why would he… what did he do?"

"The Doctor and I heard that Bancroft was on a witch hunt. We came to investigate. We arrived just in time to see his men finish dousing the place with fuel and setting it alight."

The flames were still growing. Time was running out.

"What happened to the Doctor?" I demanded.

"We heard cries from within the barn. There was a young girl tied up. We were trying to save her, but I was struck by a falling beam. The little girl and I were removed. I don't know what happened to the Doctor, but the Holy Guard claims that no one is inside the barn, and won't allow anyone in to look."

I stared wildly at the burning buildings. The house was all but lost, but it was spreading more slowly on the barn. "In the barn?"

"You can't go in there," he snapped, sensing my train of thought. "You'll burn."

"I can't feel the heat in the Otherside." There was just enough left of the structure that, if anyone were still inside, they still had a slim chance of escaping. "Trust me. I'll be okay. But I've got to check."

Delaney called after me as I slipped out of existence, but I didn't stay long enough to register what he said. After the heat and noise, the cool silence of the Otherside was a relief, like jumping into a pool on a hot summer day.

But I couldn't take the time to enjoy it. Work to be done. Always work.

Inside the barn, the supports were just beginning to crumble. The fire was starting to eat holes through the roof, having finished with the hay that had been stacked in neat bales in the back loft.

Without the hindrance of smoke and flame, the Blank-form was easy enough to spot. It crouched in a clear space surrounded by piles of debris, its knees drawn to its chest.

I threw myself back into the heat, crying, "Doctor!"

My voice was swallowed by the roar of the flames. Through them, I could just make out the Doctor's dark figure distorted by the fire's intensity. As I'd gathered from his Blank, he was sitting on the ground with his knees to his chest, hands clamped over his ears like he was trying to block out some horrible noise.

I leapt over a burning beam and darted to his side. Embers rained down around us, winking out over our heads like morning stars. Ashes collected in my hair and on the Doctor's shoulders, standing out like snow against the dark leather. I coughed as smoke flooded my lungs.

The Doctor noticed none of this. He was locked within his own mind, combating far worse horrors.

"Doctor! Doctor? Hey…" I knelt before him, resting my hands on his shoulders. The leather crinkled under my fingers. "Hey, baby. You're okay. I'm here."

He didn't respond. Panic gripped me, but I swallowed it down. I took his face in my hands, stared deep into his brilliant blue eyes. Though, fogged over as they were, I knew he wasn't seeing me. Just the fire.

I couldn't carry him. Dragging him over burning rubble wasn't an option, either. The best I could do was guide him, but he needed to be at least somewhat coherent for that.

"I know you're scared," I pleaded. "But we're on Tamia. Remember? We're on Tamia, and in a barn that's on fire. This isn't Gallifrey. The Time War's over. But we've got to go now."

The Time War had left its mark on the Doctor. I'd seen glimpses of it before; seen its ugly roots encroaching into his nightmares, into his voice when he was scared and angry but didn't know why. I'd seen it cause him to freeze up before, but never quite like this. Usually, I could get at least some response from him, even if it was mechanical, or angry, or like he was still half a universe away.

This was something else. Or at least there was more to it.

The Doctor had a big, remarkable brain. But right now, his trauma ridden mind was vulnerable, weakened by his fear of uncontrollable fire.

Low level psychic attack, the Doctor had said. Images, maybe. Feelings. Impulses.

Understanding struck me like a thunderbolt.

Returning to the Otherside confirmed my theory. As expected, long tendrils zinged through the air, connecting themselves to the base of the Doctor's skull.

I took one in hand and tried to break it as I had for the Chronomite. It bent, but refused to snap. I tried another, and another.

The Cardinal laughed somewhere in the edges of my consciousness. He'd made them stronger. My blood boiled.

Despite my generally quiet, anxious disposition, I'd always possessed quite the temper. When I was a kid, my grandma had once said that it would be my downfall.

As fate would have it, that prissy old raisin had been right.

When I ran out of the building, my mind was blissfully empty. I didn't need to be in the regular world to know where the Cardinal was. All I had to do was follow the convenient threads leading straight to his Blank-form.

He didn't see it coming. But how could he? I was just suddenly there. The first warning of my approach was my fist connecting with his nose.

I wasn't big. I wasn't strong. But I was desperate and pissed.

The Cardinal crumbled as I threw all ninety two pounds of me against him. The smug grin on his face was replaced by shock and fear. The terror in his beady little eyes when he saw me kneeling on his chest was only mildly satisfying.

"Where is it?" I seethed, digging through the interior pockets of his cloak without ceremony, chucking the random bits and pieces that I found in my quest for the rod-shaped module. "Where the fuck is it?"

My hand wrapped around the module. I tugged it free with a cry of satisfaction and stumbled away from the Cardinal. Not a moment to spare, I fumbled for my sonic pen and aimed it at the device.

The Matrix Command Module sparked as I shorted out most of the internal wiring. Hopefully just enough for it to be useless to the Cardinal, but fixable when in the Doctor's capable hands.

"WITCH!"

Something collided with my jaw, sending me sprawling. Ears ringing, I managed to flip onto my back to see one of the Holy Guards looming over me. His hand closed around the medallion, which had slipped out of my collar during my scuffle with the Cardinal.

The chain snapped and the medallion came away. The red jewel dimmed miserably as my connection to it broke.

The Cardinal's eyes flickered to the guard that held me. I turned just in time to see him heft the hilt of his sword and aim it at my head.

My world went white, and then black.

~0~0~0~

.

.

~0~0~0~

My head throbbed. Everything was so, so loud.

The noises around me mushed together into a dull roar that ebbed and flowed like the ocean. A low groan bubbled into my throat, but I couldn't hear it over the din.

I tried to force my eyes open, but shut them again quickly when the harsh, white light burned my irises. I kept them closed for another few moments, scrambling to collect my thoughts before trying again. My mind was moving at a snail's pace, slowly rebooting like a 90's desktop.

My chin lolled heavily against my chest. I figured I was upright. There was pressure on my arms. I was being supported; held standing by two people, one on each side, holding my arms with my hands bound behind my back.

I blinked my eyes open again, and the light hurt a little less. It took them a second to adjust, and then another for my brain to process what they saw. I stared dully out at the crowd, wincing at the way their collective voices echoed against the cathedral walls.

My legs floundered, trying to find purchase on the steel platform. The guards gripped me tighter, but I was helped to stand on my own beneath the arch. I looked around, increasingly frantic, scanning the room for familiar faces. The only one I found was that of Cardinal Bancroft, who turned back from where he'd been addressing the crowd.

He smirked triumphantly when his beady gaze fell on me, full of the grotesque pleasure that came with victory. My fear melted away, replaced by unbridled rage when I saw that he wore my medallion around his neck.

I lunged, straining against my captors.

"That doesn't belong to you, you sick fuck!" I snarled.

The Cardinal's smile faltered briefly. He was a coward at heart, but composed himself quickly.

"Silence the witch," he ordered the guards.

My hands were bound, but I was angry, scared, and desperate. A dangerous combination. One of the guards lifted the hand that wasn't busy holding me, intending to rebuke me with a slap.

Instinctively, I sank my teeth into his bicep. The cloth covering the guards' arms was thin, made to give the wearer free movement rather than protection. Blood gushed into my mouth; the metallic taste made me gag.

The guard howled in pain and blows rained down on my head and back, but I held on.

The bloodthirsty crowd roared at the entertainment. The witches never put up much fight.

Something hard hit my temple. My vision flashed white. I staggered to the ground, stunned.

Still dazed, I was dragged back to my feet. I stumbled clumsily in the grasp of my captors, giving what must have been a blood-filled smile at the sight of the guard I had bitten. He sat groaning on the floor a few meters away, clutching his bleeding arm.

I felt immense satisfaction. Human bites were arguably some of the worst: full of bacteria, guaranteed to get infected.

The brief smugness I felt faded as the guards dragged me back under the arch. Towards the elevated platform. Towards the noose.

I struggled. Refused to climb willingly onto the platform. Refused to stand. Sat cross-legged on the ground. Went completely limp. Laid face down on the floor. Deadweight. Kicked a guard in the nuts. Anything to stall. Anything to give the Doctor time to get here.

He was coming, wasn't he? I scanned the crowd during my bids for time. I couldn't see him. He wasn't there. Where was he? He wouldn't leave me, would he? He had to be here. He had to.

Horror chilled my heart. What if he hadn't made it out of the barn?

In that moment I realized that thought of his death scared me more than my own.

Finally, thoroughly beaten and bruised, I was forced onto the platform; held standing by two guards, limp and exhausted in their grasps. The noose was draped around my neck.

Everything was fuzzy. Everything hurt. My vision blurred. My left eye was swelling. There was a ringing in my ears that drowned out everything else. The thick rope itched at my throat.

The Doctor wasn't there.

I stared blankly out at the crowd, not hearing them baying for blood, not hearing the Cardinal finish his speech.

The only thing I heard was my name being screamed.

"Buffy!"

My deep blue eyes found the Doctor's ice blue ones. I saw his fear. His horror.

At least he was still alive. I couldn't help but be relieved.

The guards let go. The lever clinked. The stand fell away.

The pressure on my throat was enormous. I gagged for breaths that wouldn't come. I imagined my eyes bulging like the woman that I had seen hanged. My feet involuntarily danced and scrabbled in thin air. Spittle dripped from my lips.

The crowd was silent, but I could see their mouths moving. I tried to find the Doctor again. Couldn't.

At least he's alive.

I mentally screamed for help. I wanted to be home. I longed to be little again. My mom used to read to me before bed. I couldn't go to sleep without it. Every night I'd drift away with her voice soft in my ears.

I was dying, and I couldn't stand the fact that she'd never read to me again.

.

Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night

Sailed off in a wooden shoe—

Sailed on a river of crystal light,

Onto a sea of dew...

~0~0~0~

.

Responses to Comments

sophiewhettingsteel , oODaniJadeOo , bored411 : Thanks so much for reading and commenting! Hope ya'll are doing well and staying healthy :)

savethemadscientist : Had to throw in a little jealous Doctor ;) super happy you're liking going into Buffy's insecurities and such topics, bc its about to get worse. Thanks for reading! I always love reading your comments!

TheGuestAlikai : I'm glad someone picked up on Buffy having PTSD. I feel like she would be so focused on the Doctor's that she forgets about her own. That's something we're going to be getting into in future chapters, with a bit in the next chapter and more a little later down the line. Hope you're still enjoying!