CHAPTER 18
SUMMARY: Sam and Mercedes have a baby shower and enjoy quiet, fluffy times. Sam has to face some past issues. Cooper and LaTonya connect on a deeper level.
MATURE: Mild cursing, sexual situations
NOTES: This chapter is long. Hope you enjoy!
CALL MY NAME OUT LOUD
Mercedes sat on the back porch swing, sipping a glass of mint tea. It was early morning and the sun was rising over the eastern horizon, filling the world with golden light. She couldn't sleep. The twins were kicking like crazy; it was almost as if they were vying for space in her womb. The gentle motion of the swing soothed her. She closed her eyes and felt the cool breeze blowing across her skin, she smelled wild honeysuckle and violets, and listened to the distinct song of the olive green and yellow Kentucky Warblers perched on the branches of the nearby trees; their voices drifting across the meadow. She loved the smooth texture of her purple silk and lace maternity nightgown as it slid across her legs when she shifted in the swing to get more comfortable; the gown was a gift from Aunt Josephine who said to her: "Just because you're barefoot and pregnant, doesn't mean you can't look good for your husband." Mercedes thought it was a bit much but admitted that when she wore it; she felt sexy and Sam couldn't keep his hands off her. Suddenly, the twins somersaulted inside her, and she laughed, gripping the swing, the twins turned about once more and then calmed down; then she heard her husband's voice:
"Well, you're happy this morning," Sam said.
Mercedes looked up and saw him standing in the doorway, holding a cup of coffee; he was shirtless and wore red polka dot boxers.
"Our kids are gymnasts," Mercedes said.
Sam smiled and came outside; he sat down beside her on the porch swing.
"Somersaults?"
"Yes."
He put his arm around her and kissed her.
"I wouldn't mind Olympic gymnasts in the family."
"Me either. But I hardly slept last night."
"Why didn't you wake me up? I could've given you a massage or something."
"You look so peaceful when you sleep; I didn't have the heart to."
Sam rubbed her belly.
"Y'all need to let your mama sleep."
At the sound of his voice, the babies kicked.
"Well, that did the trick," Mercedes said, "They have a mind of their own."
"Just like their mama."
"Maybe."
Sam set his coffee mug on the ground and said:
"I'll be right back."
"Where are you going?"
"To get my guitar."
While Mercedes waited for him, she continued swinging on the porch swing and gazing out into the vast landscape. Moments later, Sam came back with his guitar and sat down beside her.
"I got a song for you."
"You do?"
"Yes, Mrs. Hummel, I do."
He began playing his guitar and sang:
Would you be the wind to blow me home
Would you be a dream
On the wings of a poem
And if we were walking through a crowd
Well you know I'd be proud
If you call my name out loud
Do you suppose that I would come running
Do you suppose I'd come at all
I suppose I would
And if we were walking
Down a dead end street
Would you be the one to let our eyes meet
Or would you just keep on walking
Down to the turnaround
'cause you know I'd be proud
If you call my name out loud
Do you suppose that I would come running
Do you suppose I'd come at all
I suppose I would
And if I was gone from the land we know
Would be the dawn
And let your beauty still show
And if you were walking
And heard the cold night coming
Would you call my name
'cause you know I'd come running
Mercedes loved the song, but instead of joining in as she wanted to, she let Sam's sweet voice sing alone with his guitar; this was his gift to her, a simple, beautiful gift that she cherished. When he was finished, she leaned over and kissed him.
"I love you."
Sam smiled into the kiss, set the guitar down and hugged her.
"I heard that on the radio, and all I could think about was you. I had to sing it for you."
"I know you'd come running…" Mercedes sang in his ear.
"Damn right, I would."
"Thank you, it was beautiful."
They held each other for a while and Sam said:
"Come on, let's go inside."
"Why?"
"I'm giving you a massage."
He helped Mercedes up from the porch swing, and with his arm around her, guided her inside the house. They went upstairs to the bedroom, and he removed her nightgown and underwear, then she lay on the bed on her side.
"Are you comfortable?" Sam asked, caressing her bare hip.
"Yes."
Sam went to the bathroom and got the lavender oil. He squirted a small amount onto his hands and began massaging her back using small, gliding strokes, kneading into her flesh. Mercedes sighed in contentment, closing her eyes, as he alleviated the tension in her back muscles. He moved lower and squeezed her buttocks, and she moaned.
"You like this," he said.
"Hmm, yeah."
Sam smiled and continued the massage. Mercedes felt drunk; her entire body was mellow and relaxed. She heard Sam humming but it sounded far away; then she felt him kiss her shoulder.
"Baby, do you want me to do your legs?"
Mercedes was so drowsy and content, she couldn't move. She tried to answer him, but a loud yawn came out instead.
"That's ok, schätzchen," he said covering her up with a blue star quilt that smelled like fragrant wildflowers, "Go to sleep baby, you need it." She felt the bed dip and Sam's warm, well-muscled body molded into hers as his strong arm wrapped around her broad waist. He was nude and she loved the skin-to-skin contact, and how his member pressed against her behind; he could've easily coaxed her into early morning love making, but he cared more about her getting rest. His selflessness touched Mercedes, and she held his roughened hand, and kissed the palm. He kissed the back of her neck and whispered that he loved her as they fell asleep.
PRETTY
A few hours later, Sam woke up in a panic, his heart beat so fast that he thought it would explode in his chest; sweat trickled down his forehead. Another nightmare. He saw Quinn's eyes and the blood and the baby and... the rest was forgotten. He took a few deep breaths and looked over at Mercedes who was in a deep slumber; he kissed her cheek, and carefully got out of bed and went to the bathroom, took a shower, shaved and brushed his teeth. His morning routine calmed him as the panic subsided; he found his anti-anxiety medicine in the cabinet by the sink and took his daily dosage with a cup full of tap water. He sat on the toilet and thought of how blessed he was, but those damn nightmares had to stop. He said a prayer and went into the bedroom and put on his sweats and went downstairs and found Abby in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal and texting.
"Hey, Sugar Plum," he said, leaning down and kissing the top of her head, "Who are you talking to?"
"Lucy," Abby said, not looking up from her phone, "She got her hair cut."
"Really?"
"Yeah, look," Abby, said, holding up her phone to show him, "What do you think?"
Sam looked at the picture. Lucy's long brown hair was now in a smooth sleek chin length bob with blonde highlights. It was a cute hairstyle, and it suited her face, but he preferred it the other way.
"Nice," he said as he opened the cupboard and took out a box of bran flakes.
"I think she looks pretty. I want my hair the same way," Abby said, as she sent another text to Lucy, "Do you think Mommy will let me?"
Sam's heart sank when he heard her say she wanted her hair like Lucy's. Abby's hair was beautiful as it was, he didn't want her to change it; and he knew Mercedes would feel the same way.
"Your hair is pretty the way it is," Sam said.
Abby looked up at him.
"Do you really think so?"
"Yes, I really think so."
Abby frowned for a moment then said:
"Lucy looks older now."
"Not that much older," Sam said, "Do you want to look older?"
"I don't want her to get ahead of me."
"What do you mean, ahead of you?
"She's starting middle school next year. I'm still in elementary school," Abby said looking down at her cereal bowl, "I don't want her to forget about me."
"Abby, she won't forget about you. You're sisters."
"Those middle school girls have boyfriends."
"Says who?"
"Lucy has a new friend named Marla and she told Lucy that all middle school girls had boyfriends."
"Listen, you and Lucy are family. Nothing changes that. Besides you shouldn't be in such a hurry to grow up."
Abby sighed.
"Ok."
Sam could tell her response was only to appease him and that she wasn't convinced of anything he said.
"After you finish your breakfast, I want you to get your caddy, and go to the living room. I have a new hair style that I want to try."
Abby nodded and finished her cereal, put her bowl in the sink and left the kitchen. Sam ate his bran flakes and drank a cup of coffee. His conversation with Abby was a sobering one. He hated that she felt that she had to "keep up" with Lucy and couldn't see that they shared a rare and special bond. When he finished eating, he went to the living room where Abby sat on the floor in her usual spot in front of the couch; her hot pink plastic hair care caddy was beside her. She was watching a house renovation program on TV and turned down the volume when she saw him.
"What style are you trying?"
Sam sat down on the couch.
"You'll see."
He took the wide tooth black comb and bright purple hair sectioning clips out of the caddy and sectioned her soft, tightly coiled hair into four quadrants. Then he made the lines separating the quadrants slightly curved. Next, he parted a circle in the center of her head and sectioned it off. Afterwards, he divided the quadrants into two sections per quadrant and separated each section with a hair clip, and then he flat rope twisted each row, combining the ends into a single halo twist around her head; next he grabbed the black satin bun maker from the caddy, and made a bun in the center of her head and tied a royal blue ribbon around it. When he was finished, he thought she looked adorable, and said:
"Go look in the mirror."
Abby went to the hall mirror and a few minutes later came back smiling.
"I look pretty!"
Sam hugged her.
"You're beautiful, never forget that," he said and took a picture of her with her phone, "Send this to Lucy and see what she thinks."
Abby sent the picture of her new hairstyle to Lucy who immediately responded and said that Abby looked SO PRETTY in all caps with lots of smiley faces, and she said she wished she could wear her hair like that too. Abby giggled at Lucy's enthusiasm, her eyes sparkling, and gone was the unsure girl, thinking she had to look like somebody else.
STILL
When Mercedes woke up, it was almost noon, and she felt guilty for sleeping so long. As she sat up, Sam came into the bedroom, carrying a basket of laundry.
"Mornin' gorgeous," he said, setting the basket on the floor.
"You mean afternoon," Mercedes said, reaching for her nightgown.
Sam leaned down and kissed her.
"Are you feeling ok?"
"Yes, your massage was wonderful. I can't believe I slept that long."
"You needed rest."
"Where's Abby?"
"Downstairs mixing the salad dressing for our lunch. I'm making apple cranberry salad."
"Give me a second to wash up and I'll be down to help you."
"Oh, no, Mrs. Hummel. You're going to relax. Abby and I have this covered."
"Well, I can fold the laundry," she said pointing to the basket.
"That can wait. Why not read? Or watch a movie?"
"Sam, I know you mean well, but I hate being still. Besides, it's not like I'm on bed rest or anything."
"I know schätzchen. This is about something else."
"What is it?"
"I love taking care of you."
Mercedes wrapped her arms around him and they kissed. She didn't bother saying anything else; what was the point? Why argue with how he loved her? That was foolish. The sheet that covered her slipped away and her bare breasts rubbed against his soft, cotton T-shirt, her nipples becoming hardened peaks.
"Sam..."
He nodded, stood up, and locked the door. He undressed and lay behind her on the bed and they made love in the warm afternoon sunshine; he moved within her with gentle, sweet, strokes, and Mercedes succumbed to every pleasure he gave her, receiving his love. In the afterglow, they held each other, kissing and touching, his hands slid over her big, pregnant belly and the twins gave a few ornery kicks.
"Settle down," he said.
Mercedes laughed and kissed him, laying her head on his hard, well-defined chest, feeling the vibration of his heartbeat, and thanking God once again for bringing this wonderful man into her life. All was silent as they felt emotions that were beyond words; Sam stared into her eyes, caressing her flushed cheeks.
And everything was still.
I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM YOU IN A WHILE
Sam stared at his computer screen and waved at Artie, who appeared to be in a hotel room. He wore a dark suit with a name tag pinned to the lapel.
"Hey, man, how have you been? Where are you?"
Artie smiled.
"I'm fine. I'm in Switzerland for a conference," he said, picking up a teacup and taking a sip from it, "You're looking radiant. And I thought only pregnant women glowed."
"Very funny. But yeah, I'm so happy right now. I'm sorry I dropped off the radar. But with Karofsky and all -"
"No worries. You let me know what was going on so I understand. Aside from marital bliss, what else is happening?"
"I'm scared."
"Of course you are."
"I mean I know that every pregnancy is different and the babies are fine, but I'm having nightmares about Quinn's miscarriage. And sometimes I have panic attacks."
"It's common for pregnant women to have miscarriage dreams during the second trimester because they're worried about the baby; as for men dealing with a miscarriage from a previous marriage; well, that's a little trickier to analyze but hear me out."
"Ok."
"You need to let go of Quinn."
"What? I have. I'm married to a wonderful woman."
"Dude, let me explain."
"Sorry."
"Sometimes women who aren't pregnant have miscarriage dreams and it represents loss."
"So?"
"So for you I think it's Quinn screwing around on you, loss of a baby, loss of a marriage, loss of trust, and you never forgave yourself for how you treated her."
"But Artie, I'm better. I never think about Quinn or the past. Mercedes is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love her. I don't love Quinn at all."
"I know you don't but at some point you did. You may not think about her during the day while you're loving on Mercedes -
"Artie -"
"But sub-consciously she's there, and you have to deal with it."
"How?"
"Write her a letter."
"That's original. Next you're gonna say not to send it."
"See, that's where you're wrong, I was going to say, send the letter."
"You're serious?"
"Very."
"Why would I send her a letter?"
"To tell her all that stuff you should've said a long time ago."
"She called Mercedes a fat cow."
"That bitch," Artie said, "That's no way to talk about my ebony queen."
"Uh, she's my ebony queen, so..."
"Yeah, right, Freudian slip."
Sam raised his eyebrows. Artie held up his hands in surrender.
I'm sorry but Mercedes is hot."
"This is getting weird."
"You're right. Sorry. Now back to the letter. I've changed my mind. See her in person."
"In person?"
"Yeah."
"Both of us are married and Quinn just had a baby and -"
"Wait, what?"
"Quinn just had a baby. Ryder told me it was a boy."
"Damn, really?"
"I told you she was pregnant, remember?"
"Don't know how I forgot that."
"Me either. Anyway, she's still in love with me. I think in-person is a bad idea."
"Ok, just send a letter. No holds barred. And write it right after our session. Don't wait."
"I promise I won't."
"I'm proud of how far you've come Sam."
"Thanks, Artie."
BITTER WORDS
Dear Quinn,
I'm not writing to you because I want to. It's because I have to. It's about stuff left unsaid for too long. Just like when you steep tea too long and it's bitter, you can't drink it, you have to dump it out, well these are bitter words I need to get rid of. Here is a list of everything I need to say:
1) I'm sorry that I blamed you for losing our baby girl. I had to blame someone and you were an easy target. It was cruel to say that you should've gone to the hospital sooner or maybe stayed in bed longer or stopped painting the nursery. I couldn't let shit go. You didn't deserve that. I should've given you love and compassion, not accusations and wrath. I hope you can forgive me.
2) Why did you have to have sex with Will in our bed? I hated you for that. Of all the places to cheat on me, it had to be our home in the one place we always came together as husband and wife. We bought that bed together. Christened it together. That tore me in half. But I also know that I had a part in it. I couldn't give you a baby and I pushed you away. I withheld love from you. I shut down. I'm sorry for hurting you.
3) I forgive you for cheating on me.
4) When I was diagnosed with azoospermia; and you said: "Why can't you fix this?" I wanted you to say: "We can get through this." But you didn't. Everything changed after that day.
5) We idealized each other. You were my dream girl walking in slow motion, the wind blowing through your hair, your eyes only for me. I was your cowboy poet. I never wrote a poem in my life, yet that's what you called me. Reality woke us up; and by then it was too late.
6) For a while, our paths converged, then a fork formed in the road and you decided to head in another direction. I should've let you go when I realized I couldn't love you anymore. Instead I held on and so did you. And look where that got us.
7) After the divorce, I hurt so bad that I wanted to die. Then I got therapy and I saw the truth: we needed to end our marriage.
8) Believe it or not, I don't regret being your husband. I don't regret our marriage. I don't regret loving you. There was sunshine in the shadows. I remember how we dreamed together. That was nice. Late night milkshakes at Shakey's on Route 7. Skinny-dipping and watching the sunrise, all those memories sparkle. I cherish them.
9) Thank you for protecting me the night I shot Will.
10) This is by far the most important thing that I have to say. I'm married to the most beautiful, caring, wonderful woman in the world. I love Mercedes. I don't love you. That ended a long time ago. I'm only going to say this once. If you ever see my wife in public, go in the opposite direction. Do not talk to her. Do not smile at her. I know she can hold her own, but I won't have you insulting or disrespecting my wife. Nobody calls her names. Is that understood? She's the mother of my children. She is my light, my heart, and my all. Never speak to her again.
This letter is for me to move on, forgive, and let go. That is all. Do not respond to it. I hope you find peace and happiness. Congratulations on your baby boy.
Goodbye Quinn.
Sam
Quinn read the letter three times before folding it up and putting it away. It wasn't until she was feeding her baby boy, Russell, and watching the evening news that it hit her: Sam was gone. Not just temporarily separated or see you soon, or even let's get together someday. There was no someday. This was it. When Russell was finished suckling her breast, she burped him and put him in his crib. Will was gone on another European business trip and she was alone. It seems like she was always alone and she wasn't sure what to do about that; she sat on the floor of the nursery, surrounded by four blue walls and balloon mobiles, and stuffed Noah's Ark animals lining the shelves and the light of a rainbow nightlight shining on their dark marble eyes, making them glow; and she listened to the silence.
Sam was gone and all she could do was remember their first date. They went line dancing and he twirled her on that dusty saloon floor, eyes twinkling, and she fell in love. They drank beer and kissed under the stars in the parking lot, sweaty, dirty kisses that lead to much more. But his eyes shined brighter than the sun when he looked at Mercedes, not a mere twinkle but a full on blaze of heavenly light. Quinn was a common star to him, while Mercedes was an entire galaxy, capturing his heart. Quinn saw it and denied it but she couldn't deny it any longer. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed.
THE BLESSING PICTURE
Five months later...
"I can't recall the last time I painted anything," Kurt said as he slipped on a paint smock over his summer white outfit that looked like something out of Great Gatsby except he was barefoot.
"Probably like never," Finn said, placing a bunch of paint brushes on the picnic table; his arms and legs were sunburned and peeling because of spending so much time on the beach. His over-sized Black Sabbath T-shirt barely hid his bulging belly.
"He helped me paint the kitchen," Blaine said, bouncing Carrie on his knee.
"That's different," Finn said, "Because this is like art or something."
"What is the purpose of this activity?" Cooper asked, rolling up the sleeves of his checkered shirt, "I'm not a good artist."
"It's a blessing picture," LaTonya said, sitting down to the table, and picking up a paintbrush.
Cooper sat down beside her, put his arm around her, and kissed her cheek.
"And that means?"
"I don't know, but it sounds nice."
It was mid-afternoon, the sun shined bright in a brilliant blue sky that resembled a calendar picture. Sam looked at everyone gathered in their backyard for Mercedes' baby shower and smiled. Unique, Tina, Stacey, and Rachel, planned the entire shower and Sam and Mercedes didn't have to do anything. Though Sam would've preferred to cook the food himself, he admitted that the catering provided by Bubba's House of Ribs was good, down home Southern cooking and everything was delicious, especially the juicy, hickory smoked ribs and buttered corn on the cob. He even had seconds, while Finn had thirds. He watched some of the children run around the backyard blowing bubbles. Unique was at the food table cutting up the Neapolitan ice cream cake as she chatted with Sharon and Emma; her vintage orange tropical print dress blew in the breeze; she looked like a black June Cleaver complete with a pearl necklace and earrings, and Ryder was beside her, stealing kisses whenever he could.
Rachel sat on a quilted blanket on the lawn with Charlotte and Elijah and played patty cake with them; unlike Finn; she had a lovely bronze tan. Tina and Mike sat at the picnic table with the others; with Mike holding the newest addition to the Chang family, a three month old baby boy named Alexander; he bounced around in foster care because of his physical handicaps, he was blind in one eye due to severe abuse by his biological parents and he had two hearing aids. He was so sweet with his big blue eyes, curly blond hair and pleasant nature, always laughing and wanting lots of hugs. Sam spent some time holding Alexander and thought he was precious; and he realized how loving and caring Tina and Mike were to adopt kids that had physical challenges; it made him proud to call them close friends.
He saw Mercedes sitting in one of the reclining lounge chairs next to the cooler filled with ice on the back porch. She looked beautiful in her purple maternity sundress; her Afro was full and shiny, and she wore a purple satin headband in her hair. She was due any day now. She sensed him watching her because she looked up and stared at him; he smiled and nodded.
I love you.
I love you too.
Burt tapped his arm. "What in Sam Hill is a blessing picture?"
Sam laughed and clapped his hands, getting everyone's attention.
"Everybody listen up! First off, thank you for coming today. We appreciate all of your gifts and generosity. Now we wanted to do something different for the twins' room. We want everyone to paint a small picture or write something on the canvas that tells them how much you love them and can't wait for them to be born; this shows how blessed they are to have such a big group of family and friends who love them. We chose a really long canvas and after the picture is done, we'll have it custom framed and put it in the nursery."
"So these are well wishes for unborn children?" Cooper asked.
"Yeah, that's one way to look at it."
"I see. Interesting concept."
"Thank you and this doesn't have to be a Picasso, just use your imagination. We also have stencils if you need them."
"Is there a color scheme?" Kurt asked as he opened a jar of green paint.
"Nope, just do your thing."
Once everyone got started, there was much talking and laughter. Everyone's sentiments were expressed in the colorful paintings and words. The younger kids, Charlotte, Elijah, Carrie and Birdie dipped their hands in bright yellow and orange paint and left their hand prints on the canvas; and above each hand print Blaine wrote the child's name and a note that said "Dear new cousin, I love you." Matt and Lukas painted fire trucks and unicorns and welcomed the twins to the family.
Kurt painted stars and moons and his message said he couldn't wait for them to be born and that he loved them very much; Rachel painted a rainbow and her message was that their birth was a blessing to the family. Aunt Josephine drew a pair of praying hands using a stencil and painted them brown; she wrote: Prayer will get you through every time; I love you both with all my heart. You are blessed." Finn drew a series of oddly shaped purple smiley faces and said: "If you're boys I'll teach you how to throw a football. If you're girls I'll have tea parties. I can't wait to meet you both. Love, Uncle Finn."
Burt and Carol painted gold angels with stencils and quoted a scripture: "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." Beneath the scripture it said: "You, our dear grandchildren, are good and perfect gifts from the Lord and we will love you both forever. Grandpa Burt and Grandma Carol."
Cooper wrote: "It will be an honor and pleasure to be a part of your lives and I love you already as I love your sister Abby." With LaTonya's help, he painted big colorful swirls in different shades of blue and green, reminiscent of ocean waves. Unique used gold and silver glitter to create tiaras and crowns and said that the children were royalty special and cherished by her and Ryder. Tina and Mike wrote traditional Chinese blessings using Chinese characters with the English translation beside each one:
心想事成: May all your wishes come true.
出入平安 : May you have peace wherever you go.
Underneath the blessings, they said: "We welcome you to the family and we love you very much," and they painted a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. Tina joked that they were embracing the stereotype. Abby and Lucy painted green and pink hearts and in each heart was a note about how they were excited to be big sisters to the twins and they they would always love and watch over them. Mercedes left the porch and looked at the artwork the family created; and Sam kept a protective arm around her, not wanting her to over extend herself. When she became tired, he guided her back to the porch and helped her lay back on the recliner; and then he pulled up a chair and sat beside her, taking her hand and kissing it, he said:
"How are you feeling?"
"A little achy, but I'm good."
"Do you want to go inside?"
"No, I love sitting out here with everyone. We've got an awesome family don't we?"
"That we do."
She nodded toward Abby and Lucy who were huddled at the end of the picnic table, giggling together as they painted on the canvas, their heads pressed together. A contrast of a blonde highlighted bob and a flat twisted bun coming together made for a lovely picture. Both girls were beautiful in their own way.
"I love that Abby has a sister."
"She's getting the twins."
"Oh, I mean someone closer to her age. I always wanted that growing up. Lucy is a good kid."
"Yeah she is."
Mercedes squeezed his hand.
"You know Sam; I appreciate everything you do for us. Especially how you handled the hair situation."
"I never want Abby to feel like she's less. I'm not standing for it. What kind of father would I be if I did?"
Mercedes pulled him down and kissed him with so much passion that Sam wondered if she wanted to sneak upstairs for a quickie, but before he could ask her, Mercedes broke the kiss, and clutched her stomach.
"Oh, oh my..."
"Is this it? Are you in labor? Do I need to get the bag?"
Mercedes sat up in the recliner and leaned forward, and suddenly her water broke.
"Yes."
Just then Aunt Josephine came outside carrying a six-pack of ginger ale. Her bright yellow tank dress reminded Sam of the sun on the Raisin Bran box. When she saw Mercedes' standing there holding her stomach and her wet dress she said:
"I knew those babies was coming today. Come on let's get you changed," she said, as she set the soda on the ground and took Mercedes by the hand, she looked at Sam and said: "Go get the bag and meet us at the car."
Sam stood there dumbfounded and then realized that this was it. Mercedes was giving birth. His wife was giving birth and...
"Sam, don't just stand there. Get the bag!" Mercedes said over her shoulder as Aunt Josephine ushered her inside the house.
Sam kissed her cheeks and lips.
"I love you, Mrs. Hummel."
Mercedes smiled, touched his cheek and kissed him once more.
"I love you too, Mr. Hummel."
WELCOME TO THE WORLD
At 11:01 pm, a baby girl with green eyes and a wide mouth was born, and at 11:02 pm a baby boy with dark doe eyes and a rounded chin was born. Both were ruddy and red and new.
Sam and Mercedes couldn't stop crying.
Six pounds, seven ounces each. Two sets of ten fingers and toes. Howling screams, wriggling arms and legs. The nurses lay the babies on her chest and Sam kissed them both, tears streaming, so many tears...
They were miracles.
Rose Emerald and Jacob Blue.
BABY SOUL
Three weeks later
The twins already had nicknames. Sam kept saying my little Rosy and Mercedes would say Jakey or Jake and the names stuck. Mercedes forgot the sleepless nights that she had with Abby, but it all came back as she held Rosy and rocked her in the glider. Sam paced around the nursery with Jake, both parents and babies were bleary eyed, exhausted, and suffered from colds. The Vicks vaporizer filled the room with menthol scented steam. Sam's hair was a tangled blonde mess and Mercedes head scarf was askew on her head. Their pajamas were stained with blue medicine and drool and God knows what else and Mercedes felt like her head was stuffed with cotton, but despite the illness and fatigue, Mercedes loved sitting in the nursery.
The soft, pastel green walls and white crown molding soothed her. The Blessing Picture hung above a tall white oak dresser with brass knobs. It was long and narrow and the custom frame was dark, reddish brown rosewood and hand-carved with flowers and scrolls, and the names of the twins, Abby, Sam, and Mercedes were carved into the top, bottom, left and right of the frame. The pictures, sayings, and love were endless, and Mercedes never grew tired of gazing at the picture, but now even the Blessing Picture couldn't erase the fact that it was in the wee hours of the morning; and they had to deal with ill contented newborns.
"Sing something Sam," Mercedes said, closing her eyes, "It might work."
Sam tried to sing "Rock a Bye Baby," but his voice was hoarse and all the notes fell flat. Jake screamed in his ear.
"Enough of that," Mercedes said, patting Rosy's back.
"You try," Sam said, coughing.
Mercedes cleared her throat and attempted to sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," but she sounded worse than Sam. Rosy cried.
Abby appeared in the doorway with her face covered with a surgical mask and holding her iPod with speakers. Aunt Josephine made her wear the mask because she didn't want her to get sick too.
"Sorry, Sugar Plum, did we wake you?" Sam said as he held Jake to his chest, calming him down.
"Yes, but, I have an idea."
"What is it?" Mercedes asked.
"Instead of singing. Play them that old stuff you listen to."
"Ok," Mercedes said, rocking in her glider, "It's worth a shot."
"Yeah," Sam said, "Go on and play it."
Abby set the iPod on the dresser and turned it on. As soon as the first notes of "Betcha By Golly Wow" drifted into the nursery, Jake and Rosy's cries became soft whimpers and they finally calmed down. Sam danced with Jake around the nursery while Mercedes cooed in Rosy's ear.
"This is the first song your mama and I danced to," Sam said to Jake, "She got my heart that day."
Mercedes whispered to Rosy:
"Your daddy twirled me in front of the fireplace. I felt like a princess."
Abby watched her parents for a few minutes and smiled while they relived the memory of that winter afternoon. Yawning, she said good night, and went back to bed. When the song was over, the twins were asleep. Mercedes and Sam put them in their cribs. Mercedes yawned and said:
"How long do you think they will sleep?"
"About five minutes," Sam said, putting his arm around her and kissing her forehead, "Dance with me."
Mercedes looked up at him.
"It's 2:00 in the morning and you want to jam."
"No, I want to hold my woman in my arms, and dance with her. Jammin is for clubs and questionable activities."
"Your woman?"
"I know you're my wife, but I still think of you as my woman too."
"That's sweet," she said, standing on her tiptoes and giving him a kiss, "I'll dance with you."
The next song to play was "La-La Means I Love You."
Sam held her close to his heart and they slow-danced to the music, kissing each other now and then.
La la la la la la la la la means
I love you
Even though they both had fevers and stuffy noses, and the haze of the menthol steam left them light-headed; Mercedes felt nothing but joy as they danced together. Sam said:
"This is amazing huh?"
Mercedes nodded.
"It is."
He lifted her chin and kissed her.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
As the song ended, Mercedes couldn't keep her eyes open, and her legs buckled. Sam picked her up, despite his wheezing cough and carried her across the hall to their bedroom. He pulled back the covers and lay Mercedes on the bed and got in beside her, and covered them up. He held her as they fell asleep.
THANKFUL
"You know Sam, you ain't half bad," Aunt Josephine said to him early one Sunday morning. She held a sleeping Jake in her arms while Sam made them coffee. The kitchen was quiet except for the ticking of the cuckoo clock hanging above the doorway. Everyone else was upstairs asleep.
"You ain't half bad either," Sam said, as he poured the hot coffee into the mugs.
Aunt Josephine tried to be offended by his flippant response, but then she laughed instead, as she tied the belt on fluffy big red robe, her hair was in big pink curlers and Sam was reminded of old-fashioned 1950s beauty parlors.
"I know I've been hard on you."
Sam set the coffee in front of her.
"Cream and sugar?"
"Yes, please."
He got the sugar bowl from off the counter and grabbed the carton of cream from the fridge. Then he sat down to the table. He reached for his son and took him from her arms.
"I'll hold him while you fix your coffee."
Aunt Josephine put a few tablespoons of sugar in her coffee and a lot of cream, turning the dark brown liquid into light beige.
"That's how Cedes makes her coffee."
"Yeah, she gets that from me. I only drank coffee to stay awake between shifts. To tell the truth, I think I like the cream and sugar more."
Sam kissed the top of Jake's head.
"Thank you for staying with us these past few weeks."
"I couldn't stay in Ohio knowing my baby was here with newborns. Even though -"
She stopped talking and stared into the coffee mug. Sam touched her hand.
"Aunt Josephine?"
She looked up at him as if seeing him for the first time.
"I'm sorry. I was just remembering how it was when I first got Mercy. She cried and fought me something awful. You know, she was just a toddler. I wasn't her mother or her father. She kept saying: bring back mommy and daddy over and over again. For a while I wondered if I should just take her to CPS, tell them I wasn't fit to take care of her, but then one morning she walked into my bedroom and got in bed with me. She touched my face and said: Aunt Josephine, I love you. Then she snuggled up to me and I held that baby so tight. I guess she knew I was all she had."
The story touched Sam, and tears filled his eyes.
"I'm glad you were hard on me."
"Why?"
"It shows me how much you love Mercedes."
"I wanted what's best for her and like I said, you ain't half-bad."
Sam leaned over and kissed her cheek.
"And like I said, you ain't half-bad either."
Josephine smiled.
"Well, I try. I'm just happy to see my baby married to a decent man and living a decent life. Jake, Rosy and Abby are surrounded by love. I thank you for that."
"I should be thanking you."
"Why?"
"For raising, an amazing, beautiful, awesome woman. I'm so blessed to have her as my wife and mother of my children. Only a truly great woman could do what you did. Thank you."
Aunt Josephine got teary-eyed, and held his hand, squeezing it.
"You, Mr. Hummel, are quite welcome."
INVENTORY CHECK
Cooper stood in front of LaTonya's closet, counting his shirts, all tailor made in varying shades of white, blue, and green. When he was done he said:
"I have thirty shirts in your closet."
LaTonya was in bed, her reading glasses perched on her nose, she looked up from the old book she was reading, filled with delicate, yellowed pages; it was a 1912 mystery novel about a missing jewel. Cooper bought it for her from an antique shop in Boston.
"Yes," she said.
"That's a lot of shirts."
She nodded and returned to her book.
"True."
Cooper looked at the row of his black dress shoes, lining the closet floor. There were six pairs. They shined under the light.
"Six pairs of shoes."
LaTonya turned a page in her book.
"You're really good at this counting thing."
"I've also got three tablets and two cell phones that I keep on your dresser."
"That you do."
He stared at her. She looked so cute in her reading glasses and plaid flannel shirt. Her hair was twisted in a bun. He sat beside her on the bed and turned her head to face him.
"I live here."
LaTonya kissed his cheek, caressing the blonde stubble.
"What's this all about?"
"I have thirty shirts and six pairs of shoes in your closet. My medicine is in your cabinet. And you're the first person I think about when I wake up and the last person I want to see before I go to sleep."
"Yes?"
He held her beautiful face in his hands:
"I'm taking inventory of everything. I've never had so much stuff in one place in my entire life; I've always scattered everything about. But I'm anchored here. I keep coming back."
Her dark eyes narrowed in confusion.
"Is that bad?"
"No, sweetheart, it's wonderful."
He hugged her and inhaled her familiar scent of sandalwood and vanilla. She hugged him back just as fiercely; their hearts pressed together. Her response gave him courage; he pulled away from her:
"You let me check the door three times to make sure it's locked and adjust all of your security cameras every night. You don't care that I don't like chit chat and sometimes I have nightmares that make me cry. You've seen the blood on my hands, and you still put your hand in mine. I don't understand what you see in a strange man like me... but I gave up on trying to find an answer. I just let you love me as I love you. So LaTonya Elizabeth Randall, will you please be my wife?"
LaTonya flung her arms around him.
"Yes, Cooper, I will be your wife. I love you."
"Of course you do," he said, kissing her.
"I've always loved your modesty," she said.
"Modesty is an overrated virtue."
"When do you want to get married?"
"Any time."
She kissed him.
"I'm excited."
"My parents will love you. Blaine already does."
Her smile faded. He touched her cheek.
"What's wrong?"
"I forgot about your parents."
"Yes, well I do have them," Cooper said, kissing her plump lips, "They're not serial killers."
"It's not that."
Cooper tried to figure out what she was trying to say. He hoped it wasn't about race - that seemed so silly that he pushed the thought out of his mind... then what could possibly be bothering her? She scooted back on the bed and the covers slipped away revealing her legs; and he saw her hand go to her residual limb, her fingers grazing the scarred tissue. He placed his hand over hers.
"They have their faults; but I assure you this won't matter," he said, stroking her stump, "I'm surprised you would think that."
"I've learned that people can be full of surprises."
"I would never subject you to any unkind behavior. My parents are old fashioned Protestants but they are kind, loving people, please put this out of your mind. Besides you're wonderful, how can they not like you?"
"You're laying it on rather thick," she said, smiling at him. "But I'll take your word for it."
"I haven't met your father either."
"That's different. He's, well you know how..."
He hugged her.
"Hey, let's not talk about family any more. Besides, I need to "put a ring on it" as they say."
"I really need to get you up to speed on pop culture, she said, "That's like from ten years ago."
"Nevertheless, the quote is appropriate. I need to show you something."
"What is it?"
"You'll see"
He went to the closet and got his fireproof box from the top shelf, he sat down on the bed, and opened it, and after rifling through passports, government documents, vintage photographs of his ancestors, and a gold thimble from Salzburg, he found what he was looking for: a black velvet bag. He handed it to LaTonya.
"Look inside."
LaTonya was puzzled and took the bag from him. She opened it and pulled out a beautiful rainbow fluorite crystal. Her eyes grew wide.
"You remembered."
"Yes."
LaTonya held the stone, stroking it.
"That was so long ago."
ooo
"Look, Cooper," LaTonya said pointing to the huge rainbow fluorite crystal behind the glass display case; it shimmered in the bright, white light. They were perusing the Geology, Gems, & Minerals exhibit at the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C.
"Yes, that's all well and good but we have to get back to the hotel; Jason just texted me. He has a lead on the case. And I need you to set up another meeting with that CIA analyst."
LaTonya stared at the crystal, ignoring him.
"I love that it's iridescent. Most women think diamonds are the best. But I like this better," she almost touched the glass, but thought the better of it and pulled her hand away. Cooper touched her arm.
"We need to leave."
"Why?"
"The case can't wait and this isn't a vacation. I don't know how you talked me into coming here. Besides, you can always come back. The exhibit will be here".
"Sometimes you can't come back."
"Excuse me?"
"Coming back isn't always an option."
Cooper's tone softened.
"What do you mean?"
"My father was always working. He would say: we'll come back. No matter what he wanted to do; he thought he had tomorrow. I kept asking him to take me to the Geology Museum because we both loved science and finally one day he took me," she paused and pointed to the display, "That was the first time I saw a rainbow fluorite crystal. See all those colors running together?"
Cooper nodded.
"Yes."
"Pure fluorite doesn't have any color; impurities make them. When we looked at the crystal together; he said, 'Imperfection is beautiful. Remember that. You worry too much about your leg."
"So he was building your confidence?"
"You could say that. He always told me I was beautiful, but seeing that crystal with all its brilliant colors and imperfection made it click for me. That's when I started running track."
"I see. But what does that have to do with coming back?"
"About a month later, he developed early onset Alzheimer's. He wasn't my father any more. He couldn't go to all those places that we wanted to go, because it would mean nothing. His mind was gone. The opportunity was lost. I learned that sometimes you only have one chance."
Cooper touched her hand.
"He couldn't have known that would happen."
"I know but I saw life differently after that. I had to do things in the moment, and never say I'll come back because I may not be able to."
"And looking at this crystal reminds you of that?"
"Yes and I'm reminded of my strength and beauty. I see all of my journeys. I hear my father's voice saying 'Imperfection is beautiful' and I mourn the man he was before that awful disease claimed him. It's both my power and vulnerability."
Her words stunned him, and for a few moments, he remained silent, then he said:
"I wish - " he began to say but she interrupted him.
"I know we have to go," she said staring into the display case.
"I can spare a few minutes."
LaTonya smiled.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
ooo
Cooper held LaTonya in his arms as she gazed at the crystal.
"About a month later, I saw this rainbow fluorite in a gem and crystal shop and I bought it. I was going to give it to you but then I realized I wanted it for myself."
"Why?"
"I wanted your essence and this gem represented that. It's difficult to explain, but I needed a part of you with me at all times."
"I could've sent you a selfie," she said, teasing him and kissing his cheek.
Cooper shook his head.
"No. This isn't about pictures. Your story helped me. I've always been… different. I've tried to fit in and it always ended in disaster. Social cues and manners went over my head. I was never like Blaine or anyone else for that matter. I suppose I felt like an alien."
"I love that you're different."
He kissed her.
"Thank you, sweetheart. I guess you could say that, when I saw those impurities in the crystal, I saw my own value. It was different than my high achievements or business success; I saw my essence, my unique brand of being human, and it connected me to you."
"Wow, I wasn't expecting that."
He laughed.
"Neither was I. During my travels, I always had it with me. It calmed me in my darkest moments and I would think of you. It's crazy that I didn't recognize this as love. I feel like we wasted time."
"No time was wasted. Everything happened as it should. We love each other and we're getting married. Anyway, both of us were seeing other people."
"Don't remind me."
"Alright, so is this crystal my wedding ring?"
"I'd like to have a piece of it made into one, unless you think that's a bad idea."
"No, I think it's a wonderful idea. It's so unique and it represents us."
"Do you want children?"
"You don't beat around the bush do you?" She said as she put the crystal back into the black velvet bag.
"You know I don't. So do you want them?"
"Of course I do."
"I want them too."
"How many?"
"I don't know. As many as you'll give me."
"So you're turning me into Michelle Duggar?"
"No, nothing that extreme; I guess we'll know when to quit."
LaTonya began unbuttoning his pajama top.
"Since you're worried about wasting time, let's get started on those kids now."
"No argument from me. I don't think it's a coincidence that we ran out of condoms last night."
"Neither do I."
They undressed each other and as they lay together naked on the bed, kissing and letting their hands roam over each other's bodies, stroking and fondling every limb, LaTonya said:
"I want to be on top."
Cooper was surprised by her request but quickly switched positions. She lowered herself onto his hard member and he was overcome by how good it felt with no latex barrier between them; she was tight, hot, and snug like a velvet tunnel.
"Dear Lord," he gasped.
"Such language," she said, as she began moving her wide hips, "I expect better of you Cooper Mycroft Anderson."
"How did you know my middle name?"
"I had to get a copy of your birth certificate."
"Oh, that's right."
LaTonya smiled down at him, as she squeezed him within her walls.
"I never knew your parents liked Sherlock Holmes' brother so much."
Cooper moaned at the sensation of her riding his manhood, but he was able to speak after a few moments:
"It's preposterous the amount of devotion they have for Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Blaine was stuck with Sherlock as a middle name."
LaTonya laughed.
"I can't believe we're talking about this. But I love Sherlock Holmes"
"We're a couple of geeks aren't we?"
"That we are."
Cooper glided his hands up and down her dark smooth back, and gripped her, round, firm buttocks, squeezing each cheek as she rode him, her full, ample, breasts, bouncing. Lord, he had a gorgeous woman to love forever; and it wasn't just her outer beauty that stole his heart, it was everything about her.
"I love you," he said, as she gazed down at him.
LaTonya kissed him and her movements became less graceful and more urgent and erratic. She closed her eyes.
"Look at me," he said.
She opened her eyes and he knew the second she was about to experience that wonderful bliss and splinter apart into tiny fragments; her pupils dilated and she never took her eyes from his. She wanted him to give permission so he did.
"Now, sweetheart, now…"
She cried out and her entire body shook as he exploded inside her, feeling the powerful surge of his own orgasm. Heaven was close, he surmised as he felt that release and endorphin soaked high that only came with a connection that was beyond their physical bodies. They breathed hard and their hearts pounded, but slowly they came down from the pinnacle together, and held each other tight, he stayed buried deep within her.
"Stay inside me," she whispered.
He kissed her, feeling her heartbeat, thump against his chest.
"You have all of me."
Tears fell from her eyes and she hugged him. For so long, Cooper wanted to belong somewhere in the world, he tried to imitate others to no avail, he attempted to adopt whatever "socially acceptable" behavior there was in order to fit in, but it always felt false like wearing a costume. Now, he realized the only place he belonged was with LaTonya, in that room, his arms wrapped around her, filling her, loving her, becoming one.
END NOTES: The directions for Abby's hairstyle came from the blog Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care. Thank you!