Sorry, I was busy yesterday so I forgot to update. Also is it just me or this story getting pretty bad? I feel like I dragged things out more than needed. Also warning, this chapter is (in my mind to a degree) dark. I also feel like this isn't even that good.
Chapter Thirty Five: The Reason
(Storm's P.O.V)
I curled into a ball, holding the last thing that I had of Evan to me. I knew the others were watching. We had gotten close to our destination but we were forced to take a break. I couldn't hold it together any longer. I've lost everyone now. I have no one else. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. I wanted this to just be done now. I wanted the Demon Lords dead. I wanted them to just disappear never to come back.
"Storm, I." I just shook my head; I didn't want to hear it.
I didn't want to hear Koichi say anything. I didn't want any pity. I didn't want anyone to feel guilty. I knew at least one of them was thinking that if it wasn't for them Evan and I wouldn't have gotten caught in this but they don't know. They don't know anything. It wasn't their fault. It was after all inevitable that we would clash with the Demon Lords.
"We knew this would be dangerous but, this is just." Koji didn't know what to say.
The silence that had settled over us was tense and awkward. They wanted to say something but they didn't know what to say. It was something that would take a while to get over. I've run away from so much but this time, I was glad about something. After so much running the pain was already numbing. I missed Evan and I wished he was here with me yet it was numbing.
"It was inevitable." I clutched the card just a bit tighter, Evan's card managed to remain.
"What do you mean, inevitable?" Slowly I uncurled from the ball.
Evan and I knew this day would come one day. Either we would die or they would. We choose our path to walk though. We choose our poison. I stared at Evan's card, the red dulled in color and the black faded. The back of the card, the E, it was cracked. I hadn't seen how one would react to the death of its wielder; it was something I wished I wouldn't have ever seen. Digivices would crack, sometimes they even shattered.
"We choose this path. We knew this would happen." I felt more tears sting at my eyes.
"You knew that, today would happen?" Kari's voice was low, she couldn't say it.
"No." I closed my eyes.
When I did I saw the horrid images. It was almost like I was back in that time. I could almost hear the screams; I could almost smell the blood. Everything falling down around us, having only two who held hope in the future, a future that I doubted we would ever see. I wanted to open my eyes so the memory would leave me alone but at the same time I didn't want to face the present. I didn't want to face Evan's death. I couldn't run away from the past within the present but I want to run away from the present.
"What do you mean?" I opened my eyes when Koichi's voice cut through the memory.
I almost jumped when I realized how close he was to me. Earlier he hadn't wanted to move but we kept moving because we didn't want to be close to where we were earlier because it would've been easy to track us. He was so close to me, a part of me was kind of comforted that he worried about me but another told me to just push him away. Everyone close to me has fallen now. They're all dead.
"Back up." Koichi was surprised.
"Storm, don't." I knew what was coming 'don't isolate yourself'.
"Shut up! You don't know anything!" Suddenly yelling did make him back up a bit, he hadn't expected it.
I don't want to hear those words from him. I hate those words. I hate it because I remember that day like no other. I remembering the only other who had held hope, he smiled and told me those words even though he was slipping away. I'm done hoping. I've been done hoping for a long time. I've given up on hope.
"Maybe I don't know everything but calm down." The flame warrior, Takuya I believe his name was, I shifted a glare at him.
"You don't know anything." Why is it always this way?
"Then instead of being like that, enlighten us as to what we don't know." Koji seemed annoyed but I just dropped my gaze to Evan's card.
Why should I tell them anything? It wouldn't enlighten them, it'll simply burden them. Yet being mean to them won't help any but it's hard. The Demon Lords were responsible for my brother's death, I was angry at them but my anger couldn't be taken out on them so it was the next possible people.
"It's nothing that needs to be told." No one needs to know about that, once everything was settle one way or another I would fade away and join my friends and brother.
I stood up and I stopped clutching Evan's card so tightly when I felt it give slightly. It was all that I had left of him and I didn't want to lose it. I didn't want it to shatter to pieces. I wasn't ready to fully let go. Perhaps I owe them the truth but it wasn't something that needed to be known, at least not in my mind.
"Something bothers me slightly, it might be because I've been controlled or what not. I know our reason to fight but what's your reason?" I curled my free hand into a fist.
Did I need a reason to fight besides that I'm Koichi's friend or because they're behind my brother's death? That they murdered Chrono's family? Why do they need to know my reasons? Besides it's often that Runners just pitch in to help because they feel like it.
"How do you know I'm not just helping because I can?" That actually got a look that almost said 'idiot' from Koichi.
"You know how dangerous they are so unless you had your own reason you wouldn't take part of this. Besides you said you 'choose this path'." My shoulders shook.
"You want to know the reason why Evan and I joined in on this fight? Do you really want to know? It ain't a pretty reason." They're lucky in a way.
"You guys reason is simply because this was originally your mission from years ago." If I hadn't been so emotionally confused I probably would've laughed.
"They hurt Kari too, they attacked us first." It seemed to have angered them when I spoke so lightly about their 'reason'.
"Five years ago this started for us. We were nine when we were first exposed to them Storm. It ain't that simple." I stared Koichi before tilting my head slightly.
"You guys fought Lucemon, Lilithmon, and Barbamon fight years ago." The fact that I knew who they had fought seemed somewhat catch them off guard.
"Four years ago Daemon, Leviamon, and Belphemon attacked my world." Their eyes went wide.
"We didn't expect the attack. Our Digital World was perfectly peaceful. It was our only escape from the war torn world that was called our real world." Flashes of the past that I ran away from began to torment my mind.
"We were having a peaceful day with our friends. We were the Chosen Children but we never had to fight so we were used to the peace. Then they came. We were caught off guard." I felt something starting to run down the fingers that I had curled into a fist so tightly.
"We reacted the best we could. It could've taken less than an hour for them to reduce my whole world to ash but they played with us. They toyed with us; we became a game for them. They chased us for weeks." They were stunned.
"After three weeks they decided they were bored. They attacked us and let us think we were winning but then they decided to be 'serious'. In the blink of an eye everything was gone. There was nothing left standing. My world was reduced to nothing but bits of fading data." I felt so angry remembering that, I remember how lost I felt.
"I called out over and over, just begging to hear someone. To know I wasn't left alone in that world. I found one of my friends, he died in my arms. I watched as he shattered to nothing like the crumbling world around me. We were lucky; some foreign Digital Ruler took pity on us and summoned us to his world. I found Evan was alive but barely breathing. We were saved because our friends protected us." I wanted them to die, I wanted the Demon Lords to just disappearing and never come back.
"My world is gone. I have no home. That's my reason I fight. I want them to pay for what they did." It wasn't even because of what they did to me but for what they did to my friends.
"I didn't even care when I was hurt. I don't care about what they did to me but for what they did to my friends." Thinking about it made it sting slightly, I would never forget the day but it was something that I wasn't after revenge for.
Silence hung over the group once again. It was a horrid silence that I hated. I knew they were all thinking about what I told them. All these years we've run from that. We wanted to forget it all. While we ran away we were training. We wanted to make them pay but I knew we would never stand a chance. We're humans who are fragile and can easily die. We get no second chance. Once we're dead we're dead. I gave up hope a long time ago but I never stopped fighting. I wouldn't stop because if I did I would break the promise I made, I promised to move forwards.
"I might as well answer your long standing question Koichi." That jarred them from their thoughts.
"My question?" He was confused slightly.
"The scar." His eyes widened, he always wondered where it came from.
"Leviamon gave it to me." It was a reminder of the horrid day.
"So, did that enlighten you any?" It was a burden that I would always carry.
I was angry but a small part of me called my stupid. I'm taking it out on the wrong people. I was never so focused on revenge before, I was just trying my best to stay happy so I could fulfill the promise I had made to Kain. Kain was the one who had shattered before my eyes. He told me to keep moving forward, not to isolate myself and that I keep smiling. He had been known as the DigiDestined of Faith.
"Why did you never say anything? How did you two pretend like everything was ok, smile like you two did?" Koichi had witnessed over the years that we managed to smile like none of what I had said to happen.
Then again that was when we were out and about. Once we were alone or it was just us we wouldn't smile that much. It was a burden we both carried but kept silent about. We kept smiles up so no one would worry. We became masters of acting. Behind closed doors he would've been shocked. Then again we got over it slowly so we weren't acting as much as we first did.
"It was all an act in the beginning. We did our best to fool ourselves to think it was all a nightmare that we dreamed up. We ran from the truth the best we could." I don't remember what Digimon it was but one of them could make people have nightmares.
We fought him shortly before they attacked our world. We pretended we had been cast into a nightmare and that what had happened was only a mere nightmare. We knew it was the truth but we pushed it to the back of our minds. Those who knew just went along with our game. No one wanted us to lose it and do something reckless.
"That's what you two were running from?" Kari's question made me look to her.
"Yeah, that was what we were running from. Sometimes running away is the best thing to do." A lot of things could've happened.
"We also had to fight our friends; well we refused to fight them. We both have a number of scars from when we refused to fight our friends. Yet at the end of it all, they were free from that curse but they still died." I felt tired and worn out but I knew I wouldn't sleep any time soon.