Mari & Ilna-you're the best.
McRollers-thanks for reading.
Aunt Carrie's Rules for Holiday Merrymaking (1/1)
"So, are the two of you ready for the base Christmas party tomorrow?" Carrie asked DJ and Angie as they sat on the deck enjoying the evening breeze off the ocean. She and John had been invited for dinner and jumped at the chance. For Carrie, any meal she didn't have to prepare was a good one.
"We very, very ready," Angie replied.
"I can't wait." DJ's eyes sparkled with excitement. "It's gonna be so fun.
Carrie reached under her chair and pulled out two packages. "I got you each a little something to help you get ready."
Her mischievous grin had Steve and Catherine looking warily at the wrapped boxes.
"YAY!" Angie cheered. "Thank you!"
"Thanks." DJ eyed the box Carrie handed him. "Should we save this for Christmas?"
"Nope." Carrie shook her head. "This is a pre-Christmas present."
"I never heard of a pre-Christmas present," DJ said. He looked at Steve and Catherine who smiled and nodded to let him know it was ok to open the gift.
"Pre-Christmas presents are something your Aunt Carrie invented," John told the kids. "It's basically just an excuse for more shopping."
"An auntie's prerogative," Carrie said. "And besides, these gifts have a practical purpose. So I don't want to hear anything about spoiling."
Angie opened her box and pulled out a pink sequined purse. "Pretty!" Her eyes lit up.
"How is that practical?" Steve snorted.
Carrie held up one finger. "Hold on just a minute. You'll see."
DJ opened his gift to reveal a new pair of cargo shorts which had two additional pockets sewn on the front. "Awesome." He held the pants up for his parents to see. "Look at all the pockets."
"I ordered those special," Carrie told him. "Now, can anyone tell me the practical use of these two gifts? Anyone?"
John opened his mouth to speak but Carrie shushed him. "Not you," she chuckled.
Angie tilted her head. "What practi-tical mean?"
"It means I got this for you because it's something you'll need for the party tomorrow," Carrie explained, "Same with you, DJ."
Steve looked at John who simply shrugged, then at Catherine who had a knowing smile on her face. "Ok, I give up. What do the kids need a sparkly bag and shorts with extra pockets for?"
Carrie shook her head. "Come on, McGarrett. You've known me long enough to figure this out. Do we have to review Aunt Carrie's rules of holiday merrymaking?"
Steve's eyebrows knit together. "Apparently we do."
"Both of these things," Carrie indicated the children's gifts, "Are perfect for bringing home extras from the buffet. It's why I never, ever take a small purse to a Christmas party." She pinned him with a mock glare. "You, of all people, should know exactly why that is."
Steve barked a laugh. "You're right. I should have remembered."
"Membered what?" Angie asked as she watched her father and her beloved aunt volley back and forth.
"Your Aunt Carrie …" Steve started but Carrie cut him off.
"Let me tell it."
The kids turned to look at her with wide eyes.
"One year, when we were at the academy, we all got invited to a Christmas party at a local restaurant. Your Uncle John and I hadn't been dating for very long and your mommy and daddy were still doing that thing where they pretended they weren't in love," Carrie said.
Angie giggled. "But they were."
"They sure were." Carrie grinned.
"Was daddy making mooney eyes?" DJ asked.
Carrie nodded. "The mooniest."
"Anyway, your mommy and I hadn't had a chance to dress up in fancy outfits in a few months, and I was eager to impress your Uncle John, so we went all out. We did each other's hair and nails. We both bought new dresses. We were ready to party. But the only purse I had to match my dress was a tiny little clutch."
"It was the only purse that matched both of our dresses if you recall," Catherine chuckled. "So we both shoved the basics inside of it and just passed it back and forth all night."
"That's right!" Carrie laughed at the memory of them sticking licenses and lipsticks into the small bag along with a few other essentials. "All I can say is that that bag was stuffed. So, we get to the restaurant and the food is amazing. Absolutely delicious. So of course I wanted to take a few leftovers back to Bancroft for a late night snack."
"Of course," John snorted.
Carrie rolled her eyes at him. "All these years later those are still the best crab puffs I've ever eaten."
"They were delicious," Catherine agreed.
"But our dresses had no pockets," Carrie told DJ and Angie, "And we only had one little purse between us and it was full. We needed a plan to get some of this delicious food back with us."
"If you can't eat all you food you just ask and dey give you a box to take it home in," Angie said pragmatically.
Carrie threw her head back and laughed. "You're brilliant, little one. Unfortunately, your mommy and I didn't think of that."
"What did you do?" DJ asked.
"Well … we wrapped as many goodies as we could up in napkins and filled your daddy and your Uncle John's pockets with them," Carrie told him, trying to hold back a laugh.
"And she means every single pocket." John rolled his eyes. "Pants pockets, jacket pockets … I even had a shrimp puff in my shirt pocket."
Angie and DJ giggled.
"Those suits were rented," Steve added. "It took us an hour to get all the crumbs out of the pockets so we could take them back."
"And that is why that very night, when we got back to the dorm, I created Aunt Carrie's rules for holiday merrymaking," Carrie said with a satisfied smile. "Rule one. And this one is non-negotiable. Always take a big purse or wear something with a lot of pockets."
"Like these shorts," DJ said excitedly. "Or Angie's new purse."
Carrie touched the end of her nose with the tip of her finger. "You got it in one, my very smart boy. Plenty of room for cookies, or appetizers, or whatever strikes our fancy tomorrow night."
"Yay! Cookies!" Angie opened her new purse and peered inside. "I can fit lots in here."
Steve and Catherine shared an amused look.
"What's rule number two?" DJ asked.
"Rule number two has evolved a little over the years," Carrie told him. "Originally it involved carrot sticks, but these days I've changed that to kale. If you walk into a party and there's kale on the buffet, just turn around and leave. Look for another house with a lot of cars in the driveway and go to their party. They probably have brownies."
"I love brownies," Angie said.
"Me too," Carrie agreed. "Much better than kale. In fact, I don't think people that put kale on a buffet can be trusted. If you invite me to a Christmas party and then serve kale it would make me reevaluate our entire friendship. Do I even know you? Because you clearly don't know me. Party buffets are not meant for healthy food. We want it fried, covered in sugar, or slathered in sauce."
DJ looked as though he was trying to puzzle something out in his head. Carrie chuckled knowing he was trying to figure out if his favorite party food fit the bill.
"Appetizers are their own category," she told him. "They are always acceptable. As long as they're not made of kale."
He smiled with relief.
"Rule three," Carrie said. "If there's eggnog offered, drink it. The window where it is acceptable to drink eggnog is very small, so don't waste the opportunity."
"Who wouldn't love a cup of thick egg juice?" John asked sarcastically.
"Ignore him," Carrie said. "He has great taste in women and lousy taste in festive holiday drinks."
"Do you know how much fat is in that stuff?" Steve asked.
"Yes, Captain Calories, I've heard your opinion on eggnog many times over the years." Carrie smiled. "I don't care if it has ten thousand calories a sip, it is delicious and it's only here for a short time. Enjoy it every chance you get."
"I don't think I've ever tasted eggnog," DJ said.
"Me ei'ver," Angie replied.
"Well then, tomorrow night will be extra special." Carrie beamed. "I personally made sure eggnog would be served. I even gave them my mom's recipe."
"Your mom does make the best eggnog," Catherine said.
Steve chuckled. "Good luck fitting into your uniform on Monday."
Carrie stuck out her tongue at him. "That brings me to rule four. If you don't weigh more on New Year's Day than you did on December first you have not had a successful holiday season. There's plenty of time to exercise in January. December is for indulging every craving and tasting every cookie."
Angie threw her hands in the air. "Eat all da cookies!"
"Angie is on your side." Steve laughed. "No surprise there."
"Rule five," Carrie continued with a grin. "Always do one lap of the buffet tables to assess the offerings, then post up near the tastiest looking thing on it. That will be your home base for the evening. That way you can help yourself as many times as you want without drawing too much attention."
"I've spent many a holiday party camped out by an ice sculpture covered in shrimp," John chuckled.
"Perfect buffet items are like beautiful shoes," Carrie said. "If you don't make a quick decision the minute you spot them, by the time you make a second pass they'll have disappeared and you'll never see them again."
"You never walk away from shoes you want," John snorted.
Carrie smiled. "Because I've been burned in the past." She reached out her arms and pulled both children into her lap. "That brings us to the final rule. When it comes to gravy, pie, cookies, appetizers, eggnog, or any other holiday goodie, the answer is always yes. Yes, I want some. And yes, I want more. And that concludes Aunt Carrie's rules of holiday merrymaking. Please keep them in mind as you proceed through the month of December."
THE END
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