Co-written with miss mika namariya. We own nothing!

The first meeting of 'The Ovation Amphibians Deserve Society' (T.O.A.D.S.) had not gone as well as Kyoko had hoped. The only person who had shown up was a young noblewoman who had been cursed at birth to have frogs and toads pour out of her mouth whenever she hiccuped (which was alarmingly frequently). At first Kyoko had thought the girl might be the Prince's True Love, but it became apparent that the girl did not actually like frogs, and had only come because she'd misread the poster. Perhaps, Kyoko had to concede, the Prince had had a point about the poster design after all. There would not be any subsequent meetings of T.O.A.D.S., but Kyoko did not let that discourage her. She would simply have to find the Prince's True Love another way.

(Line Break)

Kuu, back to his usual unsubtle tricks, took it upon himself to talk up his son. Anyone who knew Kuu would tell you that this was nothing unusual for him. In fact, anyone who didn't know Kuu would tell you that this was nothing unusual for him; that's how far the legend of the gushing king had traveled. Kyoko knew this. However, Kyoko was about as good at picking up on subtle hints as the king was at giving them. So when the king boasted that no one could say anything bad about his son, Kyoko took him at his word.

One day, Kijima had joined Kuon for his stroll around the gardens. Whether or not this was because of the court ladies who had figured out that the prince liked to take walks there was irrelevant. Perhaps he just wanted to spend some time with his bosom pal - yeah, who are we kidding? Kijima was there to woo ladies, and was disgusted that Kuon wasn't bothering to do the same.

"Honestly!" the knight scoffed, when Kuon yet again sidestepped a noble lady's flirtations. "This is why everyone thinks you're boring!"

He might have had more to say had Kyoko not dropped out of nowhere and pinned his sleeve to a nearby tree with a throwing knife. "Tomorrow at dawn, you will pay for those words!"

Kijima, who was only smart when not faced with a pretty woman, opened his mouth. "Wow, I'd love to 'cross blades' with you again, Kyoko-chan, if only in a more private-"

"Oh, shut up." Kuon yanked the knife (one of the new ones, he noticed with glee) out of the tree and handed it back to his guard. "Kyoko. Why did you do that?"

She looked back at him blankly. "I was following the new decree."

"What?"

"What?"

Kijima forlornly examined the hole in his sleeve. This was such a nice shirt, too!

"What royal decree?" Oh, gods… what did Dad do this time?

"The king said that no one could say anything bad about you. So I was keeping that knight," she gave Kijima a disdainful glance, "from sullying your name."

Kuon blinked. "I'm pretty sure that's not what my father meant."

"But that's what he said, verbatim." She tucked away her knife; once again, she did so far too quickly for him to catch where it went. Maybe she was just made entirely of knives.

"Okay, no. As crazy as my father is, he's not deranged enough to make it a royal decree."

"Yeah, that'd be a red flag," Kijima added, still examining his sleeve.

"...Alright," she said, at length, and bowed an apology to Kijima. "Forgive me."

"Of course! How could I deny such a lovely creature anything?" Kijima asked, but Kyoko had already disappeared.

The very next day, Kuon heard rumors of a giant, mysterious, hand-painted sign that had appeared overnight in the town square. This in itself would not have been too strange, considering that Duke Takarada was in town; however, the sign, rather than announcing an event, just listed dozens of good things about the prince. When he went to investigate himself, he found some suspiciously familiar handwriting.

"Kyoko."

"Yes?" she asked, stepping out of the shadows of a building.

"Why did you do this?"

"Because of the decree!" She clasped her hands together in front of her. "I realized after my grave mistake yesterday what the king truly meant - he wanted to make sure that the populace understood all of your good qualities! Obviously it's already known within the castle, so I figured the next best place to start was the town."

People were whispering, and not just because the prince was in town.

Kuon's ears burned. "Did you - did you go around asking for these or something?"

She shook her head. "I should have, though. These were just the ones I could think of. I figured that it might help find your True Love, too, if we helped them get to know you better." That certainly explained the dozen or so focusing on how good he was with frogs.

He was torn. On one hand, this was tremendously embarrassing and needed to come down right away before the town started thinking he was some sort of ego-maniac. On the other hand, Kyoko had made it herself, and had apparently come up with every good thing on it. Which meant that she was, on some level, aware of him.

"I… need you to take it down."

Kyoko deflated. "Yes, your Highness."

"And please don't worry about the decree. I'm sure it's not official or anything, anyway."

She nodded and took the sign down. Part of Kuon wanted to ask her for it, but he thought that might look too self-absorbed. Even if it was something that Kyoko had made, it was pretty weird to keep a 12-foot-tall list of your positive qualities.

Later that day, Kuon went to his father and explained what had happened, begging him to stop giving Kyoko weird ideas.

"I was just trying to help!" Kuu protested.

"She put up a twelve-foot sign of weirdly specific compliments in the town square."

The king's eyes gleamed. "She deserves a raise." I like this girl. And as for the royal decree….

"Stop thinking it."

"What?"

"If you make that an actual royal decree, I will literally abdicate." He crossed his arms.

"Party pooper," Kuu pouted. But in the end, he agreed to clarify things with Kyoko.

(Line break)

While Kuu and Kuon were having their little chat, Kyoko was doing some reconnaissance amongst the townsfolk. So far, her question of "What do you think of the prince?" had been met with fairly positive answers. However, there was one main gripe they had with him, repeated over and over:

"I'm a bit worried that he hasn't settled down yet," the fishmonger admitted. "Already twenty-one and not found a good lass? That's alright for us common folk, but for a prince…." He trailed off, shaking his head, and went back to deboning a fish.

"Seems a bit… lonesome, don't he?" asked a seamstress. "You never hear tell of him taking up with any courtly ladies."

"Or going out questing," another added. "No way he's going to find his True Love if he's cooped up in that castle all day."

"And then what'll become of the kingdom?" the first said, nodding. "We're lucky enough to have a True Love's blessing now, but I'm worried 'bout what's to come in the future."

Again and again, no matter who she asked, that was the main concern of the people: That the heir apparent, the crown prince, was single. Well, Kyoko would have to fix that.

(Line break)

The next fair, sunny day saw Kijima once again bursting into the crown prince's rooms (and getting tackled by Kyoko). Once Kuon had given the word to let him go, Kijima bounced to his feet. "It's tournament day!"

"I'm aware," Kuon said blandly. After all, it was all Kijima had talked about for the last week.

"And you know what tournament day means!" He pointed dramatically at the prince. "Tokens of affection and luck from lovely ladies!"

Clink, clink. Kyoko was setting out breakfast. "Since you're awake, you might as well eat."

"How does she keep making food materialize like that? Like seriously, she didn't have that when she tackled me." Despite his questions, he sat down with them to eat breakfast. Sir Hoppington feasted on bugs, glad that his fellow knight had enough manners to not talk with his mouth full. For those few seconds, there was blissful silence. Then Kijima swallowed. "So! Looking to get a certain token from a certain someone, princey-ol'-pal?"

"He is," Kyoko confirmed, to the surprise of both men.

"I… am?" While Kuon had entertained the fantasy that Kyoko might gift him a hanky, he had not considered the girl herself suggesting it.

Which is just as well, because she wasn't. Kyoko pulled out a note and handed it over for him to read. "I'm expecting to get a very good response."

Eligible maidens of the land:

Any of you who are to come to the tournaments, and believe yourself to be the prince's True Love, should embroider details about yourself on a favor, to be thrown at the prince, when he takes to the jousting grounds. Please include the following information…. The note then asked for name, age, defining details, whether or not they were cursed, their hobbies, and their opinions on frogs.

Kuon would have laughed if he had not wanted to cry.

"I'll help you sort through them," Kijima volunteered, entirely out of the goodness of his heart and definitely not because he wanted more additions to his little black tome. But hey, someone would have to be the girls' shoulder to cry on when they inevitably weren't the prince's True Love!

"Ribbit," said Sir Hoppington.

"Moko thought it was an excellent idea," Kyoko added proudly.

"Of course she did," grumbled the prince. After all, she had already gotten those new books for the library. She didn't need to provide him with any more help. She was probably laughing at him right now. (She wasn't. She was reading. Despite Kuu's best efforts, the world doesn't revolve around you, Kuon.)

Kijima was more hyped than ever about the tournament, and hurried them through breakfast and down to the grounds.

The sky was bright, but the sun was playing peek-a-boo behind some clouds; in short, it was perfect jousting weather. With the clouds the way they were, there would not be as much glare when the participants were barrelling at each other on horseback. It also meant that the stands were packed - much more so than usual, Kyoko noted. She was pleased. They were sure to find the prince's True Love today!

(Line Break)

Here's the thing with tournaments. They're hot. Not in the sexy way, in the god-why-isn't-armor-made-to-wick-sweat-away kind of way. And they're loud. Like, sports event loud. But because this isn't a modern world, there isn't exactly anyone with a megaphone to yell over the crowd and tell them to shut up. Mostly because megaphones haven't been invented yet (but don't worry, Lory has people working on it). So instead of a megaphone or a loudspeaker, you have Some Guy who can really yell. In this case, our Some Guy is named Ted. No, we don't know how he got here, and frankly he's too loud for any of us to ask.

So Kuon was sweating and trying to ignore Kijima's chattering. He glanced nervously up at the very packed stadium. Kyoko said that she sent out that letter to all the eligible maidens of the land, and there really were a lot of them here. As in, at least half of the people who would show up if they held a royal ball. And an alarming number of them were clutching hankies. Not in the "deary me, fighting!" kind of way, but in a "I am prepared to huck this thing as hard as I can at the prince" kind of way. Some of the more ingenious ladies had realized— after practicing their tosses at home all week— that the handkerchiefs flew better if there was a little more weight tied up in the middle: a piece of candy, a locket with a miniature portrait, even a pebble. Which only made Kuon sweat harder.

He was so distracted that he didn't notice Kyoko going to talk to Some Guy Ted until it was too late, and he was bellowing whatever Kyoko had told him across the field. Kuon distantly thought he heard his father bark out a laugh before he was absolutely buried in hankies. Kyoko was back at his side in moments, swiftly digging him out and shoveling hankies into a chest he hadn't noticed until then. Kuon wished that Sir Hoppington was here so he could exchange a Look with him. But the frog was snoozing away peacefully in his tank, not caring for such festivities. Desperate for someone to acknowledge that yes, this was insane, he made eye contact with Kijima.

His second-favorite knight grinned at him."Someone's getting lucky tonight!"

Kuon contemplated just leaving the tournament right then and there. This was absurd. Anyone with eyes and common sense could tell that this was absolutely fucking bonkers. He would have blamed Lory had he not realized long ago that his beloved was more than a little cuckoo. Granted, she was practically raised by Lory, so he could still sort of blame him.

He tried to wipe away some of his sweat with one of the hankies, but Kyoko swatted his hand away, saying that these needed to be pristine for their research. He used his hand instead, and decided to take all of this frustration that was building up and use it to win the tournament. Maybe then Kyoko would realize he's not completely useless. Maybe she'd even praise him.

Except when he unseated his opponent, she was nowhere to be seen.

(Line Break)

Now, this is where we could hop into Kuon's mind and hear his Sad Boi hours about Kyoko missing his victory. Or we could hop into Kyoko's and learn that since she sees all, she not only saw it, but has tips for him to improve. We could even hop into Sir Hoppington's mind and join his dreams about munching on moths.

We could do all of those things. We're not going to. Instead, we're going to talk about Julie.

You know, the queen? She's only been in one scene so far, so it's not surprising that no one's thought about her in a bit. Well, except for Kuu. Because he's Kuu. But we're not talking about Kuu right now. We're talking about his True Love, Julie. Who, currently, is majestically sweating in the stands and laughing her ass off at the hankie incident.

So, Julie, right? We think we all know her - she's the queen. King Kuu's True Love. Great at eating, terrible at cooking, and chased into her beloved's arms once upon a time by a very determined goose one bright market day. She's just as doting as her husband, if a bit craftier about it. She had to learn to be craftier, growing up selling textiles at her mother's elbow. She had never planned to be queen, and she can tell Kyoko doesn't have any such plans, either. Well, that's something she can fix.

Sort of. Eventually. She'll let the hanky nonsense sort itself out, first.

(Line break)

One tournament and one really long bath later, Kuon entered the living area of his quarters to consult with Sir Hoppington. What he found instead was Kyoko, the chest of hankies, Maria, and Kijima. Sir Hoppington, for his part, was sitting in the desk-aquarium, ribbiting his opinion whenever Kyoko read out a hankie.

Kyoko looked up at him with a smile that made him forget he was supposed to be irritated with her. You know, because of the hanky thing. "Good, you're here! Now we can really get started."

"Uh, why…?" He gestured at Maria and Kijima.

"They volunteered to help," Kyoko replied simply. "We're sorting out all the ones who don't like frogs." She pointed at a significantly smaller pile of hankies. "You can start there, with the ones who do."

He looked at Sir Hoppington, who blinked blandly up at him, as if to say, Well? Hurry up.

Seeing as it was either this or paperwork, Kuon plunked himself down next to Kijima, who was gleefully writing down names and personal information on a list titled "No." The prince knew he would have to keep an eye on that list, lest it disappear when the knight retired for the night.

Kyoko was trying to convince Maria not to set the entire chest of hankies aflame. "The prince's True Love might be in there-"

"Trying to take him from me!"

"Those girls spent hours embroidering these hankies-"

"And I have the patience to stab something 1,000 times, too!"

"Maria, no one said you couldn't add a hankie to the pile-"

"And I'm getting rid of needless competition!"

"RIBBIT!" Sir Hoppington croaked in a voice that would have made him the Some Guy Ted of his pond.

"Oh, that's true," Maria said, calming down at last.

Kyoko nodded sagely. "It would be a terrible waste of material. After all, so much hope was put into them! They will be very powerful ingredients."

The look on Sir Hoppington's tiny face made it clear that he did not mean it like that. Kuon gave him a pat on the head, then wiped the mucous on Kijima's shirt just to make him cringe.

"What is with you two and ruining my shirts?" he whined.

Everyone ignored him and turned back to the task of sorting hankies.

Well, everyone except Kuon. He was trying to figure out if he should laugh or cry about this whole ordeal. Especially when Kyoko kept tossing more hankies onto his little pile.

"What am I even supposed to do with these?" he asked her exasperatedly.

"Read through them and see if any of them match who you think your True Love might be." Kyoko's face lit up. "Or if you feel a magical spark when you touch one of them!"

"A magical spark," he repeated.

"Yes! I've heard that when True Loves meet for the first time, there's a spark between them! And this is sort of a meeting, right?" She gestured to the hankies.

Well, I don't know if you'd call it a spark, but I certainly felt something when we met, Kuon thought wryly as he picked up a hanky. It's not exactly something I can talk about in front of Maria, though.

"Ribbit." Sir Hoppington splashed over to help him evaluate the hankies. Even pointless tasks were easier with froggy help.

Kuon took one look at the first hanky and threw it aside. The girl had listed her best feature as her "child-bearing hips." Even if he hadn't found his True Love already (and somehow found himself looking at these hankies without her), he would have passed on that one. There was enough of a lack of subtlety in his family, thank you very much. He didn't want to be paired up with someone just to pump out royal babies, or with anyone who had that as her only goal. Nothing against anyone with child-bearing hips, of course. Kuon just had his True Love already… and Kijima was there to catch any falling tears on his overly decorated shoulders.

"This one might be good," Kyoko said, offering one to Kuon. He had a fleeting moment where he dreamed that it would have her name on it. It did not. "She's the heir of a large duchy."

Kuon looked at it. "I think I've met her before." And it had not gone well. She was just so fake that she fit in perfectly at court. Plus, he was 90% sure she was lying about liking frogs. She probably only said yes because it was such a weirdly specific question. "It's definitely not her." He tossed it at Kijima for the "No" list.

Sir Hoppington shot out his tongue and stole it. He wanted a blanket.

Hours later, they were done sorting hankies. None of them had lived up to Kuon's impossible standards (the standards being: Be Kyoko). Kyoko was about to pull her hair out in frustration. Maria was smirking. Sir Hoppington was snoozing under his blanket. Kijima was sneaking away with the "No" list. And Kuon, for his part, was thinking he should have just done his paperwork instead.

Oh, well. At least Kyoko would stop with the insane schemes after this, right?

Right?