Dedicated to KFP FRIENDS competition winner Cookie M 2012. Hope you'll like this. For the rest of you: Happy New Year 2017, and may this piece of 'wisdom' helped you to see the year 2016 in the right perspective.

KFP owned by Dreamworks.

Inner Peace...

Shifu was sitting in solemn meditation inside his chamber. He was on a solo mission in Gongmen, attending the crucial political meeting of the Kung Fu Council to assist them revising their code of conduct. Not only that, he would be supervising a few new appointed Masters for the next six month. He had entrusted the business of running the Jade Palace and protecting the citizen of the valley in the capable paws of Dragon Warrior and the Furious Five.

Inner Peace...

Ah, there is nothing to worry about. He mused. All his students had really grown into their respective role these past few years. Yes, all…. Including one hopeless, pathetic oaf who Shifu skeptically thought couldn't even defeat the training doll.

Inner Peace...

Perhaps Shifu had gone insane to leave Jade Palace under Dragon Warrior's supervision, and even his mind couldn't quite believe that yet. No, Tigress would decapitate him if he screwed up. He smiled as the depiction of his adopted daughter beating the sense out of the hapless panda transpired in his mind, and his pain strangely consoled.

Uh, no, no…. I am sure Po would do fine. Shifu hastily expelled that morbid thought away from his head.

Po had promised to give him a regular update every month, but to Shifu's dismay, the klutzy giant panda seemed to be completely absent-minded about his pledge.

For the longest time, Shifu had never regarded Po's appellative as the Dragon Warrior, the Mighty Defender of China. In his life, he met too many people holding empty dignitary, such as Wolf-Boss, who clearly wasn't the boss at all. It was soon to change when the giant panda had proven himself again in vanquishing the evil Spirit Warrior, Kai, the enemy whom even Oogway himself would struggle to defeat. But again, most of the time, Po was his silly, spunky old self.

Oh well, probably no news was good news. Anyway... Inner Peace...

Inner...Inner Peace...

Suddenly, Shifu heard flapping sound of wings. It was Jing, the fastest, most reliable goose messenger since Zheng retired from relaying messages.

"Grand Master, a message for you," the goose bend down reverently, handing a scroll with familiar looking seal. It was from the Jade Palace. Finally, that stupid oaf remembered! Shifu snorted sarcastically, while his skinny hands unraveled the scroll in a hurry.

Dear Master Shifu,

I am sorry it took time for me to write back to you. There was a lot of things happened here that prevent me from doing so earlier.

Oh yes, by the way, how is your stay in Gongmen so far? Did you enjoy the food? The company? Er… I know you are not a great fan of any form delicacies nor interested in friendly social interaction, but hey…if you gonna stay there for six months, you better learn to like it! I heard about the famous spicy noodle in the west aisle by Gongmen Jail. You should totally check it out and perhaps tell me if they are any good.

Ok, sorry. I digress.

Let see what should I update.

Oh yes, about what had happened here. First, let me tell you that I had a little accident.

One night the blustering winds lifted some parts of the Jade Palace's roof, right on the top of Hall of Heroes. I bet you know how much I treasure those magnificent artifact right? I'll be willing to guard them with my life!

So, the next day, since the usual handyman refused to come in bad weather, despite the cold, icy rain, I climbed to fix it.

Don't worry. You can thank me later.

Anyway, I successfully mended that vicious leak before it caused costly damaged on the precious treasure down below. However, in a split moment lapse of grace (and of course, my epic clumsiness is nothing to be brag about), I fell―slammed my head on the concrete, twisted my neck and crushed my ankle on the process.

Thankfully Tigress was within proximity to resuscitate me from unconsciousness. I swore I had seen Spirit Realm somewhere in my trance.

Later on, even after being resurrected from my demise, the injury had rendered me almost completely paralyzed and forced me to stay in bed for a few days. Trust me; it's nothing serious, apart from―broken ribs, fractured ankle, sprained neck muscle, and a slight concussion that made my head hurts for a few hours every morning―other than that, I am good.

Coincidentally with my misfortune, there was an urgent request for aiding the villagers in the Musician Village after a group of bandit burnt down their village hall. The Furious Five, except for Tigress, left the day after to assist the reconstruction.

The following week, Tigress had to do everything for me since I couldn't walk, couldn't turn my neck, and my stubborn headache made me unable to do any task, even the petty ones like cooking or going to the toilet. I know, very gross right? Don't worry; I told Tigress to close her eyes while I am not decent.

One night, I was completely in pain―my head was throbbing and my ankle felt like being squashed by an elephant. Unfortunately, the village healer was occupied helping to deliver a baby. Thinking on her feet, Tigress plundered your bedroom to find some strong alcohol to ease my pain. Don't you worry Shifu, she didn't touch those exquisite ones you told me were presents from the Emperor.

Anyway, she picked one that had an exotic looking bottle, a shape of a naked cow―which she recalled was a freebie from the milk-drinking competition. Surely you won't mind her taking that. So, she took it to my bedroom and told me to drink it.

Soon my pain dissolved in exchange of a warm, surreal kind of feeling. Considering it was a freebie, the taste was exceptionally good! Even Tigress couldn't resist trying. But it all went rather wild after that. I swore I didn't know that she never drunk strong drink before, which explained her low tolerance.

In her inebriated state, she made a bold confession of telling her feeling for me. It was the best experience in the world. I kissed her, and she kissed me back with equal passion. At some point, she asked me to sleep with her. I mean… how could I refuse such a tempting offer? So, there you go. I save you the crude detail I am sure you are not interested about.

Everything returned to normal the day after, as if nothing had happened. Well, almost.

During the intense, intimate encounter the night before, we accidentally damaged my bedroom door. I was about to sleep in the Hall of Heroes, but Tigress insisted the marble floor was waaaaay too cold. So, meanwhile, she generously offered me to sleep in her bedroom (and I am not implying anything!).

Gradually, my wounds healed just leaving a slight scarring and my headache only happened occasionally. But I began to contemplate about Tigress's revelation to me. Truthfully, I was madly in love with her.

One night, I confronted her. She told me her feeling was true and genuine. She had fallen for me ever since our mission to save Kung Fu, but never found the courage to admit. She was happy, and so was I. We were both were delighted and without a second thought, she accepted my proposal to marry her. Thanks to your cheap yet extraordinary alcohol.

That's right, you heard us. We are getting married! That must be the most splendidly awesome and bodacious day in my life!

Well, hopefully... we could get your blessing before her bump began to show. Yes, I appreciate your skepticism when you told her it's impossible for a panda and a tiger to conceive a child, you will see the tangible proof when you come home. I won't be reluctant to admit that the child was mine.

I know you are squealing a happy cheer as you read those line, don't deny it Shifu. We can hear you from here. From the longest time, I always suspected that you have a soft spot for little tiger and baby panda, how about getting the best of both, hmmm? Isn't that sound like an excellent deal? Even my goose dad couldn't hold his excitement. He had invited the whole village to dine in the Hall of Heroes to celebrate. Yes, he had used the Hall as the restaurant, again! Initially, I suggested the Training Hall, but Tigress said it was far too dangerous for children. Don't worry. No one broke anything… well, except the Urn of Whispering Warrior. But Zheng told me he could fix it no problem.

So, where were we. Ah yes, Tigress' pregnancy.

During her first ante-natal check-up, the healer suspected our baby had a strange blood disorder that Tigress carelessly caught from her previous boyfriend (Don't blame me, such blood disorder doesn't exist in pandas). Mind you, there was hardly any comfortable protection in 13th Century Ancient China, so don't be too hard on her.

The healer said nothing much we could do until the course of the full pregnancy elapsed, and the baby is born, only then we could decide the fate of this baby. This, undoubtedly, would be a nail-biting wait.

Now, I have given you all the necessary update―I want to tell you that: there was no broken roof, no concussion, no broken urn, no one night stand, no wedding, no pregnancy, and nope... Tigress and I never hooked up (not yet anyway), and she didn't sleep around with anyone (including me!).

However, I accidentally set the Training Hall on fire during the demonstration while the Emperor was visiting us. He said he was a little disappointed to see the performance of China most notable warriors and may want to have a friendly word with you when you return.

There you go, I just wanted you to see this calamitous mistake in the right perspective.

Have a happy new year.

Po.

Do you remember the epic mayhem Po created the first time he taught the Five in KFP3? I imagine this short fic happened right after the ending of KFP3 when they had settled back to normality. Hopefully, we could see all our past mistake, bad fortune, and all not-so-good thing in 2016 in the right perspective after reading this piece. Once again, happy new year to my reader, and congratulation to Cookie M 2012!