It was Xinglong's first time in the Valley of Peace. And ironic enough, the place was nothing like its name, in fact, quite the opposite. It was a fine day when he and his assistant, Wu, the antelope, were hand-delivering the invitation for Master Shifu in Jade Palace to attend the Gongmen Kung Fu Forum discussion, when suddenly, a group of monkey bandits, who appeared carrying a sizeable amount of money, zipped through the town and headed straight towards the Thread of Hope. He was about to react when he saw a black and white furball, trailing behind the bandits in a fashion that he could say appeared to be running. Perhaps he could be much faster rolling. But the black and white mammal halted in front of him.
He was a panda. The panda, as he was aware, must have been the Dra…-
"Sir, please kick my butt as hard as you can," said the panda who was still panting from running. Without caring about his approval or appropriate social decorum, the panda stood facing the bridge that was hanging above the crevasse and stuck his butt out, ready to be launched. Xinglong exchanged stares with his assistant.
He got patchy pants too, is he really the…?
"What do you mean? You really want to fall and die…- "
"They are heading for the bridge," a female voice interrupted him. With no hesitation, deviation or command repetition, the panda started to run towards the precariously flimsy structure that was held by lapidated ropes with plenty of missing planks. A few other animals with super speed, balance and impossible agility soon emerged from the sky(?!) and followed him.
That guy is so dead, he thought.
…He ran on the barely existing bridge…
He's seriously nuts.
…Brings his arms to his side like many other wuxia heroes he had read that have the ability to fly…
Of course he flies.
Oh no he didn't, but his other friends surely did. The entire group were practically suspended in the air by a thin piece of rope as if their weight was nothing. Xinglong made a mental note to ask for their diet later.
And true enough, the bridge soon disintegrated right below where the panda was.
"Mantis," the Tiger commanded as she was running. And as if it was telepathically communicated, the bug threw the tiger forward and into the air (What the hell?) propelled her into speed, before she launched what appeared to be a hardcore double-palm butt strike that sent the panda soaring across the bridge in a blitz. The rest of the team was soon made an animal chain and held onto whatever remnant of the bridge to save themselves from falling.
"Isn't your dad can fly too?" his assistant said.
He gave the antelope a look. "What makes you think of that?"
He shrugged. "I mean he was the one with the word 'flying' on his name, right. Master Flying Rhino?"
The younger rhino snorted. "Since when a rhino can fly?"
"Since a panda can? I mean…"
They both peered into the depth of the crevasse. For a few minutes, there was only silence.
"Ok then," Wu said decidedly. "I think we should tell Master Shifu that his stu…-"
"Wait, we are not leaving them here!"
"But none of us can fly, right?" Wu said, a little bit defensively. "It would take ages for a rhino and an antelope to go down the…"
*THUNK*
Apparently, those five minutes were all it took for the flying panda and his team to suddenly teleport back to their location.
"Hi. Woah, you're a Master Thundering Rhino!" the panda said giddily. His limbs were covered in something drippy… and red. "I'm Po, I am the…-." .
"Is..is that… blood?"
"What?" The panda took a quick look at himself. "No, I mean….this is not my blood."
Xinglong gave him a suspicious look. Next to him, he could see Wu's Adam's apple jerking up.
"N…not your blood?" Wu asked quietly. Xinglong made a mental note that the rest of the team didn't look surprised at all with the state the panda was in.
"No. No. What I'm saying is… this is not anyone's blood. This is….paint." He tried to clean himself up but made it worse. Now the 'blood' smeared all over his face and chest. "Aw man! My dad is going to kill me!"
The rest of the five saluted him in a more traditional way. "Furious Five, Sir," said the bird who helped the panda land earlier. He politely introduced the tiger, the mantis, the monkey and the snake who stood behind him.
"Oh.. are we using our cool name? Ack ok. Dragon Warrior, Sir."
"So you are the Dragon Warrior?" he said, appraising the panda before him. "Hmm… I've expected you to be…-"
"Slimmer?" the bug blurted out. The snake swatted him with her tail.
"Uhm, I was about to say 'taller'," he smiled. But the panda in question was completely oblivious and still ogling over his hammer, his robes, even down to his toes!
"Is this…" the Panda muttered as he observed one particularly deep dent on his hammer. "May… may I touch it?"
"Of course," he said, holding out the hammer for Dragon Warrior to peruse. "That scratch happened on the heaviest fight I've ever been in. For a moment, I thought we were all going to die. Yet, it's become the turning point in my Kung Fu career."
" Oh….the battle of Ten Thousand Serpents in the Valley of Woe!" Po exclaimed, looking like he was about to pass out anytime from overexcitement. "Big Fan!"
"He got your dolls," said the bird.
"Action figure!" the panda corrected, as he dipped his paw into his patchy underwear (ahem) And produced the miniature version of him. "See? I made this myself! Oh. You can call me Po. I would give a handshake if they weren't covered in paint," he said cheerfully.
Thank god for that paint by the way.
"Understandable. Nice to meet you, Po. Just call me Xinglong."
"Cool! Sure Master Xinglong," he pumped his fist in the air like giving him metaphorical high five, and judging from the variation of suppressed smile, mildly amused faces and rolling of the eyes to another dimension by Po's comrade, this occurrence was somewhat habitual.
The panda looked rather familiar. Xinglong just couldn't put his finger on it. Before he could ask though, the tiger and the panda started getting into some argument that he only partly listened to.
"Why'd it take you so long?"
"It is literally one minute, Tigress!"
"He wanted to try the new noodle stall over the road," explained Crane.
The tiger gave the panda a death glare. "I told you: no snack stop."
"Oh come onnn! " Po whined. "I was just inhaling the…-"
"Twenty-seven bean buns, two bowls of noodles, three serving of rice, " Monkey read out from the scribble on his palm. "That was on our last mission to Musician village last week. And according to Po, that was… breakfast."
"This will have to stop," the female tiger said sternly. "Crane, how much did we spend?"
"Too much?" the bird offered unhelpfully.
"But guys, I can't fight with an empty stomach," the panda whined. "I'll get weak ankles."
The simian cackled. "Po, watch out. You are one bowl away from fat."
"Hey, in Kung Fu, size doesn't matter," he said, gesturing towards Mantis who gave him a disgusted look.
"In your case, it clearly does," the bird chimed in, flexing his aching wings.
"We landed fine just now," the panda argued.
The Tiger cleared her throat.
"Well, yeah, except when I lost the grip and you fell into Mr Chen's construction site," Crane continued.
That explained the paint.
"But it was an accident! I was…-"
"Po, remember. There is no accident," the snake smiled knowingly.
"I guess you are underestimating your weight and overestimating Crane's strength," Monkey said. "No offence, Crane."
"Don't you remember when we landed on your father's noodle shop, the roof…-"
Wait. He remembered. "You're the dumpling guy! On the poster!" he cut them. His assistant helpfully produced the copy of the leaflet from his bag.
"Here," Wu said. The poster read: My son saved Valley of Peace - you too can save! Buy one dumpling, get one free! And above that, there was a drawing of the Dragon Warrior, jutting his bare chest, with a majestic cape flapping on his back. A goose with a funny hat, holding a bowl of steamy dumplings next to him.
"Oh," Po answered, mouth stuck in the 'o' shape for a few seconds as he scanned his embodiment on the paper. "Yeah… yeah, that's me. And….my Dad."
"Your dad… a goose?"
"Yes, is that weird? I mean…" He lowered his voice and stole a glance towards the tiger who was looking as stern as ever. "Her dad is a red panda."
Of course, Xinglong knew Master Shifu. "Well, that's because she is ado..-"
"Master Xinglong," Mantis interjected. "May I have a word."
The bug dragged him by the hand to a quiet corner by the side of the road while the rest were still arguing about Po's weight.
"You see… Po is not aware he is adopted."
Xinglong blinked. "He isn't?" He glanced briefly at the panda who was still interacting with the tiger who seemed to constantly rebuking him.
"You got a cut!" the tiger said.
"It's rather deep," the snake commented after closer inspection.
"Awesome! I might have big… manly scars!"
"Shut up, Po." And the tiger ripped the side of her almost too nice qipao to patch the Dragon Warrior. Everyone who was watching seemed to be surprised at the plot twist, but no one dared to comment.
"You are saying?" Xinglong returned to the bug.
Mantis shook his head and said quietly, "No, he doesn't know he is adopted."
"But I heard from Shifu. He was the one who figured the secret of the Dragon Scroll."
"And perform Wu-xi finger-hold with no practice," Wu added.
"I know… I know," Mantis held up his appendage. "As much as this will stun you, but Po can be downright genius and a barely functioning adult at the same time. So… do you mind, just keep this adopted thing… "
"Oh crap, I lost the chunk!" Po's frustrated exclaim alerted them. The rest of the team except Mantis were automatically sent looking: on the ground, behind the bush, inside the nearby puddles.
"The chunk?" Xinglong could not resist asking.
"The chunk," Mantis explained. "It was a piece of rubble when Tigress…" He must have registered the absurdity of his explanation or the confused look on Xinglong's face. "Nevermind. Just say this chunk is more than a dime of gold to Po."
"Maybe it dropped when you took out Master Rhino's doll," they heard Crane say. "What else do you keep under there? Wait, don't say it. I don't wanna know."
"Po, I'll get you a bag next time," the snake suggested kindly.
"So, yes," Mantis turned to him. "About the adopted thing. Till he is… ready?"
Xinglong snapped to attention. "Oh yeah… yeah, sure."
And they were impolitely interrupted again by loud rumbling. Xinglong thought the bandits might have returned, swiftly grabbed his hammer. "What's that noise?"
Monkey grinned as he patted Po's belly, "Someone is hungry for justice."
Well, yeah. That was completely logical. All sensible Kung Fu Masters needed a power-up after those tiring fights, right? But Po certainly didn't want to leave. Not without the chunk.
"Perhaps adding a prize would help if a passerby sees it…"
"Like what? Free noodle supply for the rest of your life? Or free Kung Fu tuition from the Masters? Or is it a free dumpling making course?"
Monkey tapped his chin. "What about a romantic hot date with Dragon Warrior?"
Po made a face. "What if he is a man?"
"Well, we can take him to join us on a mission. I mean, which male won't like the front seat watching all the action take place, right?"
"Come on, Po. We'll help look for it after lunch," Viper soothed. Po looked conflicted.
"We will do better with our tummy full. And so are you."
"I guess you're right," he finally said.
"Ok guys, let's eat. Dragon Warrior is paying," the bug announced.
Po shot him a twisted look.
"Hey, honourable guest?" The bug mouthed to Po as he gave a head cue towards Xinglong. "Big fan, remember?"
"Oh no no, don't worry about me," Xinglong wanted to put it politely. "I'm already late handing this letter to Master Shifu."
"Tigress wants spicy noodle soup," the snake suddenly said. And that's what got the panda thinking.
"Fine, I'm paying," he acquiesced.
The boys cheered, and the tiger….looked secretly pleased.
"Okay then." Xinglong picked his hammer from the ground and noticed something underneath. Something green. Something which might be…
"What's Jade Palace's roof doing here?"
"Po, he found it!"
It was already dark by the time they made it back to Jade Palace. The students were immediately headed to the bathhouse.
"Master Shifu, I want to apologise for the tardiness. We were invited by your cordial students and Dragon Warrior for a spot of lunch," Xinglong said as they stepped into the Hall of Heroes.
"That's quite alright. Anyway, I was preparing something for The Coun-... "
Xinglong registered how Shifu's massive ear twitched and his eyes dilated. He did that a lot when he was anxious.
"Xinglong, is that… blood?"
From the glisten of the marble floor, even he could see the kind of mess he was in. Red paint was all over his neck, running down to his shoulder and chest.
Next to him, Wu sighed.
"Do you have some supper, Master Shifu? It's going to be long."
Note: I'm a bit sad when I remember in the movie, KFP 2, Master Thundering Rhino was the only Gongmen master who didn't get to meet the Furious Five and Dragon Warrior. And I thought, he was the coolest looking. So what about if he actually visited Valley of Peace a few months (or years) before KFP 2 taken place?