For those who skipped the last two chapters, here's a summary: Ana, Maggie, and Glenn went to get formula. Merle and Martinez were in the town and all three were captured. Merle let Glenn get away on purpose, but Ana and Maggie were taken to Woodbury. They are separated and Ana is sexually assaulted by the Governor. Glenn goes and gets Rick, Daryl, and Oscar and they stage a rescue, aided by Merle. Ana kills the Governor when Daryl takes out the guard. Merle sacrifices himself so they can get away because he realizes her assault was his fault (since he brought her to Woodbury) and that she means a lot to Daryl. Ana loses consciousness on the way back to the prison, while Maggie and Daryl are trying to stop the bleeding.

Oh, goddamn,
My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand
Taking mine, but it's been promised to another

When I woke up, it was daylight and I was on the bed in the cell Herschel used for an infirmary. Beth sat next to me, giving the baby a bottle and humming quietly. She looked up when I stirred and smiled. "You're awake! I'll get Daddy."

Herschel made his way into the cell on his crutches and sat heavily in the chair next to my bed. "How do you feel?" he asked.

I grimaced. "Like hell. Everything hurts." He nodded. "I'll get you something for the pain." He paused, debating his next words, and then said, "He used a knife to violate you?" I closed my eyes against the memory and nodded.

Herschel squeezed my hand and then pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Did he use anything else?" I shook my head 'no'. "He was going to, but Daryl shot his guard and then I . . . I got the knife and . . . " I couldn't finish the sentence but Herschel seemed to understand.

"You did what needed to be done," he said simply. "Now for that pain medication," and he busied himself getting me some of his precious store of Vicodin. Once it kicked in, Carol brought me some soup and I managed to eat a few bites without getting nauseous, and even walk to the bathroom with her help, though the pain of urinating was excruciating.

Rick sat with me for a while and explained that Michonne had shown up at the prison shortly before Glenn arrived, and told them about the place called Woodbury where Maggie and I had been taken. Glenn was able to find the way back, with Michonne's help, and Merle was waiting for them outside at a place he'd told Glenn to meet him. He had gotten them inside and led them to where we were being held. Andrea had apparently been staying there, but no one had seen her since Woodbury fell. The only people I didn't see that day were Daryl, Maggie, and Glenn. Rick and Herschel had both assured me that they were okay and that Maggie had escaped with just a few bruises.

I dozed throughout the day and was able to eat a little supper, but my thoughts kept drifting back to the moment the knife slid into the Governor's throat. I imagined my hand yanking it across his neck over and over, slicing it open, and releasing that river of blood. Someone had cleaned me up thoroughly, but I could picture the deep red of my hands as I got in the truck. I remembered my words to Daryl outside the barn when we'd been deciding Randall's fate – "if we start killing the living, where do we stop?" When did I leave that behind? When I did I become someone who thought their own life was more valuable than someone else's? I was firmly against the death penalty once, whatever the crime.

Herschel came to check on me before he headed to bed and gave me another dose of pain medication, leaving another pill with some water by the bed for later. "Is there anything you need?" he asked. I shook my head, "No. Just . . . have you seen Daryl?" Herschel sighed and scratched his beard. "That boy sat outside this room not sayin' a word until he knew you'd make it, then spent the whole day on the fences, killin' walkers and avoidin' everyone. Should I tell him you're asking for him?"

I bit the inside of my lip uncertainly but nodded. "It's okay if he's tired or something, but if not, maybe I could just see him really quick?" Herschel nodded and bid me goodnight before leaving the cell, and I waited in the dim light from the battery-powered lantern.

I heard Herschel's voice from down the hall, but couldn't make out an answer, and Daryl didn't come. I turned on my side, wincing at the intense pain between my legs, even with the pain meds, and resigned myself to the fact that he must not want to see me. He might be processing what had happened with Merle, or just be exhausted. All the same, I was hurt that he hadn't at least checked on me, and a few tears slid onto the clean sheet beneath my cheek.

Someone cleared their throat and I looked up to find Daryl standing in the doorway. "Hey" I breathed, swiping my hand across my cheeks quickly. "Herschel said you were out at the fence all day."

"Yeah," he muttered. "He said ya wanted to see me?" I nodded. "It's just . . . I wasn't sure why I didn't see you today. Are you okay?" His head jerked up at that, finally looking at me.

"I'm not the one . . . " he swallowed hard and rubbed his hands over his face. "If I'd gotten there just a few minutes earlier he wouldna done that. An Glenn an Maggie an I thought we might be a reminder of what happened to you, so we stayed away."

I was tired enough that I didn't have the energy to tiptoe around the tension with Daryl. "Well, that was completely unnecessary," I said. "You saved me before things could get any worse, Daryl. And seeing you is the only thing I wanted today." I flushed slightly, but Daryl didn't tense up or leave, just looked at me across the small cell and exhaled slowly, rubbing his thumb across his lower lip pensively.

I shifted over in the bed, careful not to pull any stitches. "Do you think you could stay for a while?" I asked. "Just 'til I fall asleep?" Daryl hesitated, searching my face, before nodding and settling himself on the bed, clicking off the lantern. I thought he would try to leave space between us, but he turned toward me, slipped one arm under my neck, and draped the other one over my waist, careful not to jostle me. His face was inches from mine in the dark, and I traced one finger across his cheekbones, the bridge of his nose, and along his jawline before resting my head on his chest.

"I'm sorry about Merle" I whispered, and I felt him nod his head. "He did a good thing there at the end, maybe the firs' good thing he ever did, but if it wasn' for him you never woulda been there in the first place." He ran his thumb over my cheekbone and cupped the back of my head. "I couldn' save you," he said again softly. "I tried, but I was too late."

I pulled back slightly and looked at him in the dark. "Do you think I'm ruined, then?" I asked quietly, and Daryl jerked his head in shock. "What? No!" he said quickly, and I relaxed. "Then you weren't too late," I said, "So stop saying that. You found me and I'm still alive and I'll recover." I heard him draw in a breath, ready to argue, but I pressed a chaste kiss to his lips and he froze. I rested my head on his chest again and after a moment his steady breathing resumed and I dozed off.

I woke in the middle of the night shaking because of the pain and nightmares, and Daryl grabbed the pill and water Herschel had left for me and pressed them into my hand. I gulped it down and waited in agony for it to kick in, tears leaking out of my eyes unbidden. Daryl just ran his hands through my hair and down my back, letting me cry and shake until the numbness stole through my body again, and I slept.