In honour of Father's Day, this is another tag to S2 Ep.8 'The Prodigal Father', as well as a tag to Snacks No. XIII 'These Brothers of Mine' and No. XII 'A Meeting (of best friends)'. I imagine this takes place right after No. XIII, but I'd recommend reading the latter since the conversation in this alludes heavily to events in 'A Meeting'.

XVII. Of Fathers (Aramis & Porthos)

Twilight hangs over the garrison courtyard, a beautiful sky smiling down on the Musketeers like a benevolent madame, stars shining in her eyes.

Down in the courtyard, Porthos is sat high on the stairs to Tréville's balcony, with Aramis just coming down, having spotted his friend, frowned, considered, and making his way down with deliberately loud steps, and easing himself down.

"What are you doing?" he asks lightly, bumping a shoulder against Porthos's. Porthos doesn't turn, but Aramis catches his lips curl in a half-smile.

"Nothin'." He pauses, then amends, "Thinkin'."

"Hmph. That's always cause for concern."

Porthos glares at him, and Aramis holds up his hands in apology, albeit with a grin. He plonks one foot onto the lower step and dusts non-existent gunpowder from his hands before settling back, one arm dangling easily from its perch on the step behind.

"What are you thinking about, then?"

"Things," Porthos returns, swiping a thumb through his upper lip, "The past. Stuff that's happen'd. Stuff that was said.." he throws Aramis a glance before looking away, "...stuff that wasn' said."

Aramis purses his lips.

"That is a lot of things."

"It is."

"You're thinking of anything in particular?"

"Maybe."

Straightening his back on his seat, Porthos lets out a small sigh. "Do you remember how I first joined the regiment?"

"Ah. Let's see.. I recall some half-baked story about you saving the captain's life," he scratches his chin, looking up thoughtfully, "but I'm sure that can't be true..."

"Oi. Aren't you a comedian this evenin'."

Aramis's grin eases into a tender smile. "I'm only trying to cheer you up, Porthos."

"Yeah, I know." A lopsided smile quirks Porthos's mouth. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Aramis sits back again. "So what is this about when you joined the regiment?"

"I'm just tryin' to remember... if the Cap'n ever let slip he knew who my father was, you know. Back when I'd pulled 'im from that trench and got 'im into the tent..." He trails off to give Aramis an unexpected, sly look; and Aramis is pleased to catch a twinkle in his friend's eye behind the veil of sorrow. "You remember that's 'ow we met as well."

Aramis beams.

"I remember. You'd barged into the tent where we were tending to the wounded and asked if I had time to check on my captain, who'd been bleeding."

"Yeah, 'e was particular on that," Porthos mumbles, scratching the back of his head with a smile, "I'd thought 'e could 'ave sent you an invitation or somethin' if 'e 'ad the time. I'd thought 'e sounded so polite."

"He was being rather cordial with me at the time, I remember," Aramis nods pleasantly, leaning back as he slips into nostalgia. The truth of the matter is (and this is what Porthos has never known), Aramis, when he'd first joined the regiment as a twenty-two-year-old, had been, for lack of a better word, a handful. Too excited and proud to have been accepted into the King's newly-formed regiment with only two years of experience as a soldier and not a drop of nobility in his blood, and still so youthful as to seek out adventure -and trouble- in whatever form he could find, he had given Captain Tréville many a cause for headache in the earlier days of the regiment. And it had only gotten worse after Aramis had befriended Marsac, who had been commissioned just weeks after him. At length, the captain, in utter exasperation and not with a little despair, but also with a deep fondness that he'd never quite managed to hide, had tried, unsuccessfully, to keep Aramis at an arm's length for a time, trying to assert some stricter form of formality between himself and his two most troublesome men. It hadn't worked. The headaches had continued. Aramis finds himself smiling at the memories.

"God. That feels like a lifetime ago."

"Yeah..." But Porthos is distracted. His own line of thought into his and Aramis's intertwined past hasn't followed such a fond trajectory; when he speaks again, his words come haltingly, searchingly.

"I'm tryin' to remember that time in the tent with the Cap'n. You know - if he could 'ave just.. straight away known who I was. It's not like mine's a very common name..." He pauses, and his brow creases even more, deep in thought. "Then again, he was wounded. 'e probably couldn' join the dots straigh' away, could he?" He looks up at Aramis inquiringly, and Aramis feels something shift and uproot inside his heart upon seeing the look of open, utter need for answers, for clarity and closure in his friend's eyes.

Suddenly uncomfortable, Aramis feigns distraction by the supply carriage that's pulling into the courtyard, gravel screeching under the wheels of the clambering cart.

"Why not ask him?" he suggests at length, keeping his tone deliberately light. "The captain has no reason to keep anything from you now that you've met Belgard."

But Porthos is quick to shake his head. "Nah."

"Why not? Surely you don't think he would lie to you now."

"No.. He wouldn't lie. He never lied to me about anythin', really. Just kept stuff."

"He wouldn't keep anything back after today, Porthos. He has no reason to."

"I know."

"Then what's stopping you?"

But Porthos only shakes his head again.

The truth of the matter is, despite the questions that still plague him, the questions that contort themselves, multiply and elude his grasp, Porthos's heart is too full, too heavy after everything he has learned. He's weary in a way he's never felt before, but more unsettling is the sense of frailty, the presence of a hole torn open in his hide, and he doesn't know what to do with it. It's frightening him. He's not felt this unsteady since his early youth, since before he's joined the army and become a soldier; somewhere deep down, today, he feels that scared young boy again, a ghost from his long dead past, resurrected. He's not ready to face Tréville again.

"You know what," he murmurs quietly instead, bending quite forward over his knees so Aramis cannot see his face, "I'd not imagined havin' found me father bein' more painful than not knowin' anythin' about 'im at all."

That makes Aramis move out of his own accord, one hand shooting to grab his friend's arm, but something stops him, an invisible force staying his hand.

"Porthos-"

"It's alrigh'," Porthos says swiftly, angrily drawing the back of his hand across his face; grabbing onto the railing with the other he pulls himself to his feet and sharply dusts his breeches. "Let's just get some sleep, eh? It's been a real long day." But he doesn't immediately move to descend, and Aramis regards him from his own seat down on the landing, disturbed by the abrupt end to their conversation. He wants to protest, unwilling to let Porthos go to bed without some sense of closure, some degree of relief, but something in the marksman's own heart, something that simultaneously warns and deeply disturbs him, stops him from probing further.

"Alright," he assents, pushing to his feet as well. The two of them stand side by side on the step for a moment, facing the courtyard. The torches have been lit whilst they conversed. The guards at the gate have changed and Lady Twilight has graciously left her place to a gentleman's evening.

Aramis places a hand on his friend's shoulder, turns him around and pulls him into a gentle embrace.

"You are home, Porthos. Don't ever forget that. Your family is right here, with you."

"Yeah," Porthos nods over his shoulder, speaking difficultly, "I know."

They release each other, pat each other on the back, and descend the steps together.

As I am very bad at writing the fanfiction that I intend to, I'm reluctant to note this, but if this one lacks a satisfying resolution, it is because this is planned as the beginning of a 'spiral of conversations' between the Inseparables and Tréville. I'll do my best to post at least one more 'tag' to what has become this series of tags to the episode in the future. I hope you enjoyed this one, and as always, thanks for reading.