Ah, another chapter. I fell so far behind because of everything going on. Sorry, everyone.

Warnings: It's shounen-ai, yaoi, slash, gay, etc. Tom Riddle/Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Tom Riddle. Sirius/Remus, Remus/Sirius

Notes: (X) is pov change and or time jump

Chapter 26: Evaluating the Situation

Some Saturday this is turning out to be. He'd overslept, had a panic attack thanks to the Daily Prophet, Madam Pomfrey had warned him not to step foot onto the Quidditch pitch, thus forcing him to miss his first practice, or she'd give him detention, and now he was being warned, by Draco Malfoy of all people, that his boyfriend was dangerous and should never be taken lightly. Yep, he was doing great. Just great. No wonder I can't think of anything to write to Sirius about. Even if he wanted to tell his godfather half the crap that was going on, but couldn't in case some stupid Death Eater decided to read his mail, how did you even begin explaining any of this? Even if he left out the really bad parts, the chances of Sirius approving of his relationship with Aderes was slim. He wasn't sure he approved, and it was his relationship.

"What are you doing, anyway?"

"Besides trying to figure out how my life spiraled out of control so fast?" Harry looked up from his sixth piece of parchment, the others crumpled up and discarded around him. "Trying to figure out how to explain any of this to Sirius." He was somewhat surprised that they'd only been talking a few days and yet he didn't feel the need to censor himself. Probably because he knows about Aderes. Draco and he were both in on one secret or twenty, so it was only natural to think they should share the two hundred other secrets they were both privy to, be it about Aderes, the underground war going on, or that Sirius Black was not the monster the Ministry of Magic claimed he was.

Draco snorted. "Good luck with that."

"No kidding." Sighing, he set his quill and parchment down in the grass. "I don't even know where to start after 'I have a boyfriend.' And honestly, I'm not even sure if that's safe to write." That one sentence alone could paint a target on Aderes, and he'd never forgive himself for getting his boyfriend attacked, or worse, considering his soul wasn't even completely together. He didn't want to even think what a direct attack on someone's soul might do.

"Maybe just tell him things are weird and you'll explain later?"

"Maybe." He wasn't sure if Sirius had the patience to wait until the winter holiday to have everything explained to him, and Harry really didn't think he had the patience to wait that long to tell him. There was too much going on that he had no experience with and wanted answers by someone who had a more worldly knowledge. Maybe I should be writing to Lupin?

'And if your godfather never approves?'

Harry jumped at the sudden mental intrusion. 'I don't know.'

'Wrong answer.' Aderes was up on his knees before the movement even registered in Harry's mind, kissing him.

'Pretty good reward for giving the wrong answer.' He threw his arms around Aderes' neck, pulling him down with him into the grass.

'Someone is learning manipulation quite fast.'

'With you as a teacher, who wouldn't?'

Aderes could kiss him all he wanted, though. He really didn't have an answer yet. Part of him hoped his godfather would look past all the issues Aderes had caused, and that he'd accept him because Harry wanted to stay with his boyfriend. Deep down he had a feeling even if Sirius threatened to disown him, he would still stay with Aderes. The bottom line seemed to be. He couldn't choose between the two, and he hoped he would never have to.

Snickering, Aderes deepened the kiss.

"You're not alone right now," Draco muttered.

Aderes lifted his head, his annoyance clear. "So, go find someone else to talk to."

"Aderes!" Harry glared at him.

Sighing, he climbed off Harry.

"Don't you have Quidditch practice, Potter?"

"Can't go," Harry said, sighing. "Madam Pomfrey told me I had to skip today." One more thing he had to miss out on thanks to Umbridge.

"Oh. That sucks."

"I wouldn't say that," Aderes said.

"Yeah." Harry wasn't entirely mad because he feared what Aderes might do if he left him alone for more than two minutes and after that kiss, the Golden Snitch could floating in front of his face right now, frozen in time, and he probably wouldn't notice it.

'Good.'

The pride and triumph radiating from Aderes at having Harry choose him over Quidditch was more than a little worrying. He had a feeling he'd be sneaking around a lot if he wanted to make it to any of his practices or games. "Can we skip today?"

"Hmm?" Aderes looked at him curiously.

He brought his hand up to the pendant. "I'm not ready to explain any of this. They deserve to know, but…" The fewer people who knew, the safer Aderes was. "I want to wait until you're whole again."

Surprise. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"... Because really, Hermione already knows and Draco knew before her."

Harry studied his boyfriend. Aderes didn't miss his chance. He moved closer and dropped his head onto Harry's shoulder. "So, what's the safest thing for Ron to know?" He couldn't just leave Ron out if Draco and Hermione already knew. Ron would never forgive him.

"My name?"

"Arse."

"No, Aderes."

"Is there a difference?"

"That depends if you want to sleep tonight."

Harry rolled his eyes. Seriously, what kind of relationship had he gotten himself into?

"Are you two fighting?" Hermione sat down next to them, looking at each of them in turn.

"Debating how much not to tell that thing." Aderes' hand found Harry's, and he laced their fingers together.

"I'm not a thing," Ron shouted. He dropped onto his bottom, looking thoroughly exhausted, dirt on his face and in his hair, and a broom in his hand.

"I'm never wrong, especially when it comes to classifying creatures."

Harry looked his friend over. It wasn't just dirt. He could see bruises forming on Ron's arm and the amount of sweat you only managed when you'd overexerted yourself covering his robes. Add that to the broom he was holding… "Are you on the Quidditch team?"

Ron's face went red, and he nodded. "I didn't want anyone to know until the tryouts… Fred and George and all. We had a party last night, and I was going to tell you then, but you never showed up."

And he'd been in the infirmary until ten that morning according to his boyfriend's memories, giving Ron no chance at all to explain. Ron should have known Harry wouldn't tell his brothers, though. Guess both of us don't trust each other as much as I thought. Well, he had something safe to write to Sirius about now. "Sorry Ron, last night wasn't exactly…."

"What happened anyway," Ron asked.

He knew he'd have to explain sooner or later, but he hadn't had the energy to come up with a 'proper' explanation yet, not to mention he'd been, and still was, trying to digest and somehow rationalize everything Aderes had done the night before. And Aderes's explanation was too far-fetched. "I...eh, I got—"

"Umbridge attacked Harry, and he was bleeding to death. So, I set Umbridge on fire so I could take him to the infirmary."

Harry's heart stopped for a full minute. 'Why did you tell them!?'

Hermione gasped, the look of shock on her face didn't come close to what Harry felt. Aderes had said it so matter of fact, Harry wanted to strangle him. Couldn't he at least pretend to have some remorse for what he'd done?

Aderes's eyes widened before he started laughing. "What good would fake remorse do!?"

"It would help convince others that you regret whatever horrible thing you just finished doing," he screamed, his face burning. 'It could possibly keep you out of Azkaban!'

"You really are perfect for me." Aderes lifted the hand he had interlaced their fingers together and kissed it. 'Fake remorse wouldn't work. The Ministry would use truth serum to make sure I wasn't lying.'

"That doesn't make me feel better!" Aderes needed to stop telling everyone his secrets! At the rate he was going, he'd be dead before Halloween, or locked up.

'I told them because you would have withdrawn from everyone and gotten depressed trying to decide whether or not to tell them.'

'It doesn't matter! The fewer people who know about any of this, the better.' Why was all of this so difficult for Aderes to understand? Harry was just trying to keep him safe. A few white lies would go a long way in keeping peace.

'I'm not going to let you be miserable for such a small secret.'

'Small!? You almost killed a teacher!' There was only one explanation. Aderes was trying to get away from Harry for good. He didn't know why, maybe Aderes wasn't even consciously aware of what he was doing, but what other possible result could he be hoping for?

Aderes mentally rolled his eyes. 'I am not trying to leave you.'

Ron stared at them, his eyes wide, mouth hanging open. "You're joking."

"He's not," Draco said. It seemed Draco didn't care much more than Aderes did.

"Is… Is she still alive," Hermione asked.

"Sadly," Aderes sighed.

"Not sadly! Dumbledore said he'd take you to Azkaban personally!"

Aderes snickered at that. "I'd love to see him try."

"See what I've been having to deal with?!"

Maybe between Hermione and Draco they could help him talk some sense into his boyfriend. Or something, because so far, he'd failed.

"I wouldn't say that's all you've had to deal with."

Harry groaned. No, it wasn't, but there were some things he had no intention of sharing even with his best friends. He didn't think they'd understand his internal battle right now. No one was dead, but you shouldn't attack people to begin with. Aderes could swear all he wanted that he'd only attack Umbridge in order to save him, but they both knew that wasn't the only reason. Saving Harry had just been an incredibly convenient excuse for Aderes to justify his actions. There had to be some reason Dumbledore had only given Aderes a slap on the hand with a week's detention versus dragging him off straight to Azkaban, though. Anyone else would be in prison already. Meaning Dumbledore believed Aderes was capable of controlling himself enough not to kill anyone. At least he hoped so.

"Well… I suppose as long as no one is dead," Hermione said, a minute later. She didn't seem entirely convinced, but she didn't look too torn over it either.

Harry gaped at her. "Hermione, he attacked a teacher—"

"No, he didn't," she snapped. "That woman is not a teacher. She's nothing more than a spy for Fudge, and she's not even a decent person."

Aderes has completely warped her!

'I did not!' He glared at Harry, hints of red forming on his cheeks to match the small amounts of anger and denial coming from the bond.

"Speaking of… the four of us have been talking and… we think something needs to be done about Defense," Hermione said.

Harry didn't know where to start with processing that sentence. It annoyed him that his group of friends were talking when he wasn't around, despite knowing how stupid that was. Aderes didn't just sit in his room moping the second he wasn't next to him, though for some reason he'd been under the impression his boyfriend only spoke to Draco when he wasn't around. And it concerned him that Aderes seemed to be turning everyone into a dark wizard, while somehow making Draco less evil. Or were they simply more accepting of Draco now because the three of them had fallen a few rungs down the good side's ladder? Regardless of the reasoning, none of it was good.

'Harry, none of your friends are on their way to becoming Death Eaters, nor is their sudden shift in views completely my fault. They're beginning to see the world has shades of gray, something you have yet to learn.'

'No. Hurting people is never right.'

'So, you hope all the Death Eaters and Voldemort will be carried off to Azkaban, where some have already escaped before, to live out the rest of their lives?'

'No. ... well….' Who was he to judge whether or not someone got to live? "I don't know," he muttered. "I try not to think about it."

"About what," Ron asked.

He realized everyone was staring at him with mixes of concern and confusion. Aderes looked amused. Right, they can't understand us.

"Well, we can't ignore it, and neither should you," Hermione said. "We really think it'd be best if we started a Defense club."

Harry blinked. A Defense Club? He needed to start paying attention more. He'd been certain that they were talking about killing Umbridge, not forming a Defense club. "Umbridge would never allow it." She'd probably put them in detention for the rest of the year just for mentioning it. His gaze went to his hand. The words were barely legible now, but it still sent a shiver down his spine. A year of having sentences etched into his hand was not appealing.

"Yes, well, I didn't think we would make it er, official."

Harry stared at her. "You're asking us to break the rules? You."

Hermione's face went red. "Yes, me. It's not fair that we're all going to fail our O.W.L.S. because Fudge has lost his mind. And… we're at war, Harry. People could die if they don't learn proper defense now."

Ah, now that made sense. If there was one thing to get Hermione to break the rules, it was so she could pass a test.

'Not even Dumbledore is the saint you think he is.'

The name Grindelwald flashed through the bond before Aderes buried it deep within his mind. Before he could try to see what Aderes was thinking, Hermione waved her hand in front of his face.

"Harry?"

"Y, yeah. Fine. It shouldn't be too hard for us to find somewhere to practice." By the time he answered, Aderes had completely hidden the thought.

"... I was thinking everyone deserves a chance to… you know, learn if they want to," Hermione said.

Finally, he looked at his friend. He needed to listen to this before he got himself in trouble "... Who is everyone?"

Hermione took a breath. "Everyone in our year."

"How could we possibly hide a club with that many members?"

"I know a place," Aderes said.

'Of course you do.'

"Okay, so we start a Defense club, then what? We order the real fifth year book of Defense spells and just start using them on each other?"

"Of course not! I was thinking you and Aderes could teach us," Hermione blurted out.

She had gone mad. "No one wants lessons from me!" People didn't even want to talk to him right now, let alone learn from him. Hell, no one wanted to even sit with him on the train back. He'd had to accept Draco Malfoy's pity and join him for the entire ride back to school.

'Oh, I can't wait to tell him that.'

'Don't you dare!'

"You're the best Defense student in our year, maybe in the whole school! You survived fighting Voldemort!"

"All of that was sheer luck, and no one believes what happened last year!" And he was still pretty sure Aderes was far more knowledgeable than he was, probably better at Defense than he would ever be. Not that he completely trusted his boyfriend to teach students Defense. Knowing him, anything he thought someone deserved was fair game to use as 'defense'.

"A lot of people want to hear your side, Harry. Every year you get accused of lying about something, and every year you prove people wrong. A lot of students have noticed how The Daily Prophet is trying to hide things and more than a few have told me they're starting to believe you."

"Yeah, sure." As much as he wanted that to be true, he was in denial about Aderes, not his life as a whole. He'd always been spot on with that. It sucked. The only reason he was still alive was so it could suck longer, that or so Voldemort could run him through later or whatever the hell he seemed to be waiting for. He'd been sure the graveyard would be the end of his life, and yet here he was. Go figure.

He looked to Aderes. Turns out his boyfriend had heard this conversation one too many times and didn't care to listen to it again. The only thing he was interested in according to the bond was grabbing some chocolate from a stash he had in his trunk and snogging Harry. 'What do you think?'

"I could care less. I'm not getting involved at all unless you're a part of it."

''Really? You'd pass up a chance to show off your genius?'

'If it meant less time with you, yes.'

Harry could feel his face burning. 'Don't…' he was going to say lie, but the bond assured him that was not that case. Aderes wanted to spend as much time as he could with Harry and just below that reason, he didn't care one way or the other if all the other students at the school died, so why care if they passed their O.W.L.S.? "ADERES!"

Aderes stared at him. "Why does that surprise you?"

"Ugh…." He began rubbing his temples. Why and how…

Drops of rain broke Harry out of his thoughts. At first just a few, but they began increasing in number and speed soon enough. Harry snatched his parchment up, the crumpled-up pieces included, and shoved them into his bag.

Other students who'd been lounging around were laughing or yelling as they gathered their items and ran for the castle, and as always, Harry envied that this sudden rain was the worst of all their problems.

(X)

It took Harry quite a few attempts before he managed to piece together a letter that told Sirius everything he could and wanted to, as well as skip everything he had to, while managing to make the letter sensible. How he did it without lying, he wasn't sure, but he had. He felt guilty about writing such a roundabout letter, but it would be easier to try to convince Sirius that Aderes wasn't the horrible creep he pretty much was in person. Maybe Aderes could attempt to use his manipulative charm to win Sirius over. There wasn't much he could do if his godfather refused to accept his boyfriend, though. He hoped if nothing else, Sirius would remain civil to him. The fact that Aderes is real and not a magical item might be enough to make him happy.

"What are you hoping to accomplish by holding back every single detail that matters," Aderes asked. They were walking together out of the Owlery. "He's going to find out sooner or later I'm a 'raging lunatic'."

"I didn't even think that, let alone say it," Harry snapped. Now he was, though, and he couldn't help smiling. 'Besides, you didn't exactly make a good first impression,' he pointed out, letting the memory from number twelve pass between them.

Aderes' eyes widened, guilt forming immediately. 'I didn't realize how much pain you were in… not that I was feeling much better.' He grabbed Harry's hand and squeezed it. "I'm just saying, it's better to rip the whole bandage off rather than pull at it little by little."

"Says the guy who doesn't think the bandage should exist at all."

Aderes smirked. "So you noticed."

Harry glared at him. It faded immediately when Aderes's arm went around his waist, followed by a feeling of Aderes being mildly impressed with him. Harry's face grew warm, and he dropped his head.

"You're no fool, Harry." A rush of random thoughts. Harry couldn't pin down a single one. "If you need time to think about everything, I could spend the next few days with Draco and Hermione."

"What good would that do," Harry demanded.

Surprise again. "It would give you time to think about everything. My 'improper behavior'. Whether or not I'm worth tolerating. So you can try to come up with some way to convince your godfather I'm not a monster." He started laughing. "I do wish you all the luck with that one." He removed his arm from around Harry. "I'm confident you'll choose to come back to me." He leaned forward, kissing Harry on the cheek. "I will keep things simple so my thoughts and feelings don't sway you one way or the other."

Harry stared at his boyfriend as the bond closed off everything, but the smallest indication that Aderes was alive and the bond was not destroyed. "W, wait!" This was all happening way too fast. He didn't want Aderes to leave, even if it was for just a few days.

"You need to come to your own decision. Am I worth staying with even if your godfather disapproves? Is the source of your emotions for me because of the bond? Can you live with the things I've done and the things I will no doubt do?"

"That's not fair. I can't answer any of those questions alone!"

"You won't accept them unless you do."

"No," he said, glaring at his boyfriend.

Aderes tilted his head slightly to the left. "No?"

"No," he repeated. "Either you stick with me or you don't."

"You're the one having the internal war."

"I will deal with it. Besides, I feel like if I leave you alone, there's no telling what you'll do. Draco and Hermione don't have the guts to tell you no."

Aderes smirked, his eyes dancing with amusement. "You're not wrong."

"You won't listen to Dumbledore either. You claim you won't listen to me, but you do take my thoughts into consideration, no matter how much you want to deny it. If you didn't, I wouldn't have this." He motioned to his shirt where the pendant was resting underneath.

"I wouldn't bet on that," Aderes said, his eyes narrowing

"I would," Harry said, matching his look.

Scowling Aderes started towards the Great Hall. Smirking himself now, Harry followed.

"Harry?"

The couple stopped, Aderes's hand snatching Harry's, annoyance radiating from the bond, despite it being almost closed.

"Cho?" It seemed Aderes was not a fan.

"Fancy meeting you here," she said, smiling.

Harry expected to feel the usual butterflies in his stomach, the gentle nervousness that swept over him every time he tried to speak with her, but it never came. It seemed his feelings for Aderes had destroyed any feelings he'd had for the girl. She was still pretty, but talking to her was no different from talking to anyone else now. That she'd even bothered to say hi to him after last year was pretty shocking, though. He didn't think he could be so cheerful going up to the person who'd managed to survive the same ordeal his boyfriend had died in.

His vision went black.

"Harry!?"

He must have moved back or something, because Aderes's hand tightened and Harry realized he'd been falling. Just as fast, he could see again. Aderes was holding him against his chest, his thoughts and heart racing.

Cho looked like someone had thrown a curse at her.

'— cursed old man — memories.'

Harry stared at his boyfriend.

"Are you okay," Aderes asked, worried.

He nodded, not that he was actually sure. Why had thinking about Cedric's death caused such a reaction? And why was Aderes cursing Dumbledore about something to do with memories?

"Hey!" Aderes gave Harry a firm shake, the Gryffindor staring at him. "Focus on me!"

It seemed Harry was taking too long to answer because seconds later; he found Aderes' tongue in his mouth. Any thoughts he'd been trying to piece together vanished, not just a little, but quite literally exploded before sizzling out of sight.

"Oh, my… I… there were rumors, but…"

"Our relationship is only a rumor," Harry laughed when Aderes broke the kiss. They'd kissed in front of a classroom full of Gryffindors. And in the Great Hall a few times now that he thought of it. "I guess people don't want to admit you chose to date me."

Aderes shrugged. "They'll get over it, eventually." He was still looking Harry over.

"Will they?" He snickered.

"Do you actually think I'd care one way or the other?"

"No," Harry said, grinning. That was one of Aderes's better traits, at least when it came to them dating. Anyone else with even a fraction of Aderes's popularity would be torn trying to decide if staying with Harry was worth the cost of losing everyone else's attention. Aderes didn't care what anyone thought because he knew he was better than everyone else.

"I didn't think it was true."

"Aderes is my boyfriend," Harry said, earning another rush of surprise from Aderes. "I'll see you," he said, pulling Aderes down the hall. When Cho was far behind them, he slowed down. "I don't need any time. I want to be with you. Even if you're completely mad, I don't want to lose you. You can understand that, right?"

He gave a single small nod. "I can."

"Okay, then you understand why I don't want you to do things like burn classrooms down or melt shoes off people's feet." He let the bond offer images of Umbridge's burns, refusing to risk being overhead.

"I make no promises."

"I didn't expect you to. I just need you to understand why I'm so frustrated and confused."

"I believe the bond takes care of that."

"Then we don't need a 'break'. We both understand where we're coming from, it's just a matter of learning to accept each other's views."

"...Really?" He stopped, Harry having no choice but to do the same since they were holding hands. "You're going to try and accept that I harm people?"

"No, well, maybe. I don't approve of it and I probably never will, but… You haven't done anything so terrible…" Who was he kidding? They were mentally bonded. "I don't approve," he started over. "But I can't get myself to be angry with you for doing any of the violence you've used so far, not enough to break it off. Besides, it's not like I wasn't thinking about doing what you've done lately, I just didn't act on it."

"You always did have more self-control when it came to dealing with others."

"Just don't do anything worse than you've already done. At least think it over first. I can't lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere, Harry."

"Good." He hoped Aderes meant that. Even if he just attempted to behave, it had to be better than the reckless free-for-all attitude he was following right now.

They walked to the Great Hall in silence, leaning against each other.

With Umbridge "mysteriously" missing, the combined detention for fifth year Gryffindors and Slytherins was canceled for the evening. Harry heard more than a few students say they wouldn't have bothered going even if she tried to drag them from their common room and he couldn't agree more. Starting a revolution with his housemates seemed like a rather good idea compared to spending another second with Umbridge.

With his sudden found freedom that Saturday night, Harry left the Great Hall happy, and immediately crawled into bed once he was back in the Gryffindor tower. Aderes was stretched out on his bed reading, the spell around his bed making it impossible for anyone to see him unless they actually got into Harry's bed. His boyfriend looked so innocent, like he was incapable of the things he'd been thinking or doing.

This is ridiculous. He moved over his entire body, pressing against Aderes'.

The Slytherin looked up from his book and raised an eyebrow. 'Is everything okay?'

'I guess.'

'It doesn't sound like it's okay.'

'I feel like I'm obsessed with you.'

Aderes dropped his book, laughing. 'Who isn't obsessed with me?'

'I mean it! I don't like being away from you.'

'I know. I don't care much for you to be out of my sight either.' He laid the book onto the beside table and wrapped his arms around Harry. 'Only you would get attacked by a Hogwart's teacher. The Death Eater treated you better last year.'

'Which just shows how awful Umbridge is.'

'No kidding.' The toad obviously had no problem attacking students and causing them pain… so why should they hold back against someone like Umbridge who enjoyed hurting them? He still didn't think trying to burn her alive was justified, but no one deserved to have to sit still while a 'teacher' tortured them.

Aderes looked at him, his shock clear. 'Are you actually thinking what I heard you think? The 'Great Harry Potter' has finally decided he shouldn't be a sitting target for abuse?'

Harry hit his arm gently. 'It's hard for me, okay? I was raised with people abusing me, people who punished me even worse when I tried to stand up for myself. Even after I found out I had these amazing powers, I couldn't use them to stop the Dursley's from doing everything they could to hurt me. It was safer not to fight back.'

A whirlwind of emotions swept across the bond, the strongest being anger and protectiveness. Aderes' grip tightened. 'Those Muggles will never hurt you again.'

'You can't just storm their house.'

'Why would I need to?' He slipped his hand under Harry's pajama top, grabbing the pendant. 'All I have to do is pretend I'm a ghost.'

'Won't your parents get mad if you keep spending all of your holidays with me?'

Hesitation. 'They won't care. And if they really needed me, they'd know where I am.'

Harry could tell Aderes was trying to deflect. There was sadness mixed in with the hidden thoughts and rejection. He'll tell me when he's ready. Prying into such a sensitive subject seemed wrong. Though he couldn't help wondering what kind of people they were or what they did for a living. Both of them must be brilliant and beautiful. And while Aderes made it difficult to love him unconditionally, once you were past the violent parts, he was a great person.

His parents will never approve of me. The idea that Aderes might be using him to anger his parents flashed through his mind, then vanished.

'I promise, my father thinks you're the greatest person in the world. It was all his bragging that made me want to meet you in the first place.'

'I know your father?' He tried to think of all the adults he knew and couldn't think of a single one that looked even remotely like Aderes or had a fraction of his intelligence.

'Kind of.' He made it obvious he wasn't explaining anything more.

Well, at least he had one parent won over.

(TBC)