Just as the sun was rising, Elizabeth went down to find Mr. Darcy waiting for her. "Good morning, Mrs. Collins. I hope you slept well?"
"I did indeed. That bed is very comfortable. Mr. Darcy, I must compliment you on how wonderful I find your house. Everything about it is elegant, but it is still comfortable and inviting. It is a real home."
Darcy was extremely pleased to hear this. "I thank you for saying that, but, as I said, I cannot take credit for it; it has been the work of many generations. I have tried only not to alter anything that might change its character. I am well aware that there are several areas that need updating with a lady's touch." He looked at her sideways as he said this. He then led her out a side door into the extensive garden, offering her his arm, which she accepted. They strolled among the summer flowers that were fully in bloom.
"Mr. Darcy, I must once again thank you for the great kindness you are showing us. I must admit that it is most unexpected and I cannot fathom why you are treating us so well."
He looked down at her, "Can you not?" He seemed to be pensive for a moment. "I suppose that is my fault. I thought that my intentions had been more obvious, but apparently they were not."
Once again, he hesitated. "Mrs. Collins, please forgive me if I speak very frankly about some very personal topics. Just stop me if I make you too uncomfortable." These words confused her as she had no idea what he was implying.
"For some years I have been looking for a lady with whom I could spend the rest of my life. You know that my mother died shortly after Georgiana was born, but I clearly remember how she and my father acted around each other when they were not in company. It took me years before I realized that they must have loved each other very much. They suited one another and were well matched; they enjoyed nothing more than to be together. After I had met a number of other couples, I began to realize that their relationship had been very different from other society couples who appeared only to tolerate each other, even though they were married. I suppose that is because many marriages are arranged to join two families, regardless of how the couple feels about each other.
"When I realized how special my parents' marriage was, I vowed that that was exactly what I wanted for myself. I thought it would be simple for me to find the perfect lady to be my wife. When my father died unexpectedly and left me in charge of my sister and Pemberley, I had to limit my search for several years as I was so busy learning my new duties. I still managed to attend some entertainments where I met a number of eligible ladies from the highest levels of society, but I found nothing but disappointment when I got to know them even just the slightest. They were either shallow or spiteful, or were only interested in my income and estate. Not one of them seemed to be interested in me as a person, so not one appealed to me."
Elizabeth could hardly believe that he was speaking so openly about such personal matters. She wondered where this conversation was heading. In the back of her mind, she thought she might know, but she was not sure how to react to this.
Darcy's voice dropped as he seemed to be talking only to himself. "I realize that I was becoming bitter with my disappointment in not finding anyone remotely suitable. I assume that you noticed that I was not in good humour when I first went to Netherfield. I know now that I had limited my search to much too narrow a field. I had always presumed that I should seek someone from only the highest levels of society, so I did not consider anyone from any other group." He did not mention that the near disaster at Ramsgate had worsened his attitude when he first went to Hertfordshire.
"Mrs. Collins, please forgive me if I speak too plainly, but I must be completely honest with you. There is no lady I have ever met who impressed me as much as you do. I did not appreciate you at first, especially when I saw that my cousin appeared to be interested in you. However, when I began to know you better, it was obvious that you are remarkable in every way. You are the first lady that I thought was so special."
He once again hesitated before he continued, "I believe we are suited for each other and would make a perfect couple."
He then looked more closely at her and saw how surprised she was at his words. "Is my declaration so unexpected? Did you truly have no idea how much I admire you? I thought that my attentions to you whenever we met would have made it obvious."
He could see that she must not have had any idea of his appreciation of her. "Please forgive me for making such an unwarranted assumption. Did I just ruin any chance we might have had for a life together?" He could not help himself as he stopped and stood right in front of her. He held her lightly by both her arms and looked directly at her, waiting for her response.
"Mr. Darcy, yes, this is most surprising to me; I had no idea that you were developing such an interest in me. I will admit that I have found your attentions pleasing, but I did not believe that they could lead anywhere. I am well aware there are many impediments that would likely prevent any serious connection between us."
"What impediments? Surely there is nothing that we could not overcome." He noticed that she did not refuse him outright.
"There are so many. First of all, what about the differences in our stations in life? You are of the highest class with noble relatives, but I am not nearly in that category. One of my uncles is in trade and the other is only a country attorney."
"You are a lady from a landed family. That makes us equal in my eyes. In any case, with your older sister now being a Baroness, that will certainly enhance your status."
"My mother and my younger sisters do not have manners that they would need to have to fit in with your level of society. They would likely embarrass you."
"I saw how the Dowager Baroness managed to restrain their exuberance, especially your mother's. I expect that would also happen whenever they are in the company of other senior ladies. In any case, your younger sisters are young; I am confident they will change as they mature. I saw how they seemed to act better when they were with Georgiana."
Elizabeth had to agree with these observations. She continued, "Longbourn has been in the Bennet family for many generations, but it is only a small estate. It is so insignificant compared to Pemberley."
"As long as your family has an estate, you are landed gentry; that means a lot for your status."
She continued, "The Bennets are not well known outside of Hertfordshire. Would your family and friends accept me?"
"My uncle and aunt, the Earl and Countess, may object at first, but they will learn to appreciate your fine qualities. Most of my friends and family will follow their lead. I admit that my other aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, may never accept you, but that is only because she wants me to marry her daughter. That will never happen as we are not suited for each other; we are so different. Both of us are well aware of this even though my aunt is not. In any case, I would prefer to spend most of my time here at Pemberley rather than in town in society. This is my home; this is where I want to be."
"What about your cousin, Mr. Fitzwilliam? Did you know that he came to Longbourn this summer to renew his attentions to me?"
He appeared to be shocked. "I was not aware of this. I know he returned to England instead of staying in Canada but I have not seen him. May I assume that you sent him away?"
"I did. It was obvious he was expecting that Longbourn's income could be used to support his lifestyle. I disabused him of that notion." This statement pleased Darcy.
"Another problem is that I am a widow."
"That does not matter to me. What is only important is that you accept me for what I am."
"I have a son. His care is my most important role in life."
"I promise I will treat him as if he were my own son and will do everything I can to make sure he will be ready to inherit Longbourn and be a good manager of it." She looked closely at him when he said this, but saw that he was serious about this pledge.
"I have to look after Longbourn until he is of age."
"I know that we could find a good steward to manage it for you. I assume that your uncles would continue to be there for your mother and sisters."
Elizabeth smiled up at him. "You make it sound so easy. However, there are the two most serious problems that I see. First, I do not know you very well, certainly not as well as you seem to know me."
"I will wait as long as you need. I will be very happy to enter into a formal courtship with you until you are ready to accept me."
She seemed almost wistful. "The final problem is the most serious." She almost whispered the rest. "I am not sure that I will ever be able to be a proper wife to anyone because of the way I was treated by my husband. I shiver whenever I think of him and how he treated me. It still bothers me."
Darcy automatically put his arms around her and pulled her gently to him, pleased that she did not resist but even rested her head against his chest. "I promise that I could never, ever, hurt you. Not all men are such brutes. My father would never have done anything to hurt my mother. That is how I will treat my wife."
He thought for a moment, "Think of the Gardiners; could he ever hurt your aunt? If the physical aspect of marriage worries you, I would not expect you to come to me until you are ready."
Elizabeth was surprised that she could tolerate being held by him; she had thought she would never be comfortable in any man's arms again. In fact, it felt good; it felt right. It was reassuring as she had worried about ever being able to be so close to any man. She had not felt so comforted since her father died as she was at this moment. She had not realized what she was missing until now. She did not realize that she gave a quiet sigh; Darcy certainly noticed.
She continued, "I know you want children; so do I. Having four sisters, I know that a large family can be more of a blessing than a problem. I am already missing my son." She pulled away from him, almost reluctantly. He did not resist, but was pleased that she had accepted his attempt to console her. She felt so good in his arms.
She knew that she had to say something. "You have given me much to consider. Will you give me time to think about all this? In any case, we should join the others for breakfast."
"I will give you as much time as you need; you are worth waiting for."
She smiled at him, which thrilled him. "You have also made me neglect these beautiful flowers. My mind has been much too occupied to appreciate them. We will have to come to see them again." Her words gave him hope.
They walked back to the house, arm in arm. Elizabeth was deep in thought about all that Mr. Darcy had said to her. When they entered the breakfast room, all the others, who were just beginning to eat, certainly noticed that something important had occurred. However, no one asked, even though Georgiana decided she would question her brother later. Mrs. Gardiner knew she would do the same with her niece.
After eating, the two gentlemen went to decide which tackle they would use for catching those elusive fish. Georgiana gave instructions for the landau to be prepared for their excursion into Lambton.