Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.

Pink Taco

"Why do they have to be open so late?" Craig grumbles, as he drives his drunken friends to Taco Bell, which Token agreed to pay for, at Clyde's request.

"'Cause, they have the best drunk food," Clyde says, as though stating the obvious. "Now, hurry up, 'cause they close in ten minutes."

"Ten minutes?!" Tweek yells, from the passenger seat. "Sweet Jesus, we're not gonna make it!"

"Calm down, babe," Craig tells his boyfriend, before addressing the guys in the backseat, where they've been hotboxing. "I can't go any faster, guys."

"Whatever," Token shrugs, as he accepts a joint from Kenny, "I don't really want anything."

"Nobody cares what you want, Token." Clyde huffs, stealing the joint from between Token's fingers. "We're going there for me."

"Well, I'm the one who's paying for your food," Token reminds Clyde, "so you'd better not be an ungrateful twat."

"I could go for some food, too" Kenny interjects. "I've got the munchies." He conveniently forgets to mention that he's simply not fed enough at home, due to his family's financial circumstances. Of course, he's not going to pass up an offer for free food.

"Hey, this is my jam!" Clyde reached forward, and turns up the radio, when his favorite Bloodhound Gang song starts to play over it. "You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals; so let's do it, like they do on the Discovery Channel."

"Christ, you sound like a dying cat," Craig complains, as he pulls into the Taco Bell parking lot. Fortunately, the place is lit up, which means they're probably still open. "Put that out, guys," he says about the joint, which Kenny takes one last hit of, before flicking out the window. "Do you guys know what you want?" Craig asks, as he turns into the empty drive-thru.

"Four soft tacos!" Clyde exclaims.

"Oh, God, what do I want?!" Tweek suddenly wonders, as they park in front of the menu screen.

"Welcome to Taco Bell," a subconsciously familiar voice echoes from the speaker. "How may I take your order?"

"Uh, yeah," Craig clears his throat, "can I get four soft tacos..." He turns slightly, to see the guys in the back.

"I want a pink taco," Kenny quips, wiggling his eyebrows at Craig, who merely furrows his own. "Okay, I'll have a chalupa."

"...a chalupa," Craig adds, before turning toward Tweek.

"Agh!" Tweek yanks at his wild, yellow-blonde hair. "I-I'll have nachos!"

"...and an order of nachos, please?" Craig finishes the order.

After a pause, the person on the other end of the speaker gives their total, and says to pull around to the window.

"Oh, it's you," Craig says, almost accusatorially, as he pulls up to the window, which Stan Marsh is stood on the opposite side of. At least, Craig thinks to himself, it's not Eric Cartman, because he'd probably spit in their food.

"Hey, guys," Stan says to Craig and Tweek, before noticing the others in the back seat. "Hey, Kenny!" He greets Kenny more enthusiastically, since they're actually friends. "You guys are here, pretty late." Stan narrows his eyes at Craig, as he takes the latter's money. "We're just about to close, you know?"

"Well, Clyde wanted Taco Bell." Craig rolls his eyes, as he imparts this information onto Stan, who rolls his own eyes, in response.

"Figures." Stan hands Craig back the change, and says, "You're food will be ready in a couple minutes." Since nobody else is here, the guys receive their order quickly, and can finally head back to Token's. "See ya, Ken!"

Kenny drunkenly blows a kiss at Stan, and sticks his arm out the window, to wave enthusiastically, as the car makes its way down the drive-thru.

"I don't know how you can stand Marsh," Craig says, once they're back on the road. "Or, especially Cartman." He plucks a cigarette butt from his ashtray, sticks it in his mouth, and lights it, with the lighter he keeps in his glove compartment. "Kyle's a pain in the ass, too."

"Eh, they're not so bad." Kenny shrugs. "Well, Cartman is," he admits, "but he's funny, an' shit, ya know?"

"If you say so," Craig says sarcastically.

"Hey," Clyde whines, "they gave me hard tacos."

"Sorry, buddy." Token pats Clyde's back, because the latter looks as though he's about to cry.

"We have to go back!"

"Are you serious?!" Craig narrows his eyes, as he looks up into the rearview mirror, at Clyde.

"There's still a couple minutes before they close."

"Ugh!" Craig angrily makes a U-turn, and speeds back toward Taco Bell.

"Welcome to Taco Bell," Stan repeats, as his voice echoes from the speaker. "How may I take your order?"

"You fucked up Clyde's tacos," Craig says. "He wanted four soft ones, and they're hard."

"Oh, sorry," Stan apologizes. "We'll fix that for you. Pull back up to the window." Craig does as Stan says, and pulls back up to the window, where he exchanges the hard tacos for soft. "Sorry about that, Clyde."

"S'all good, bro," Clyde slurs.

"Okay, well, we're closing, now," Stan says impatiently, as though it's his customers' fault that they're back, "so I hope you guys are set."

"Yeah, we're good," Craig says. "See ya." He rolls his eyes, as he pulls back out the drive-thru.

This time, instead of Kenny's hand waving out the backseat, Craig's hand sticks out the front, as the latter flips off Stan.

"Man, I hate that guy," Stan says to himself.