The following days at work went extremely slow. Edward and I had met for dinner a couple of times. I was still reluctant to trust him, but I knew it wasn't something that happened over night and we both needed to be patient.

Tonight Edward was picking me up from work and taking me somewhere "special" which I am actually pretty excited about. I'm still not a huge fan of surprises, but I'll take any chance I can to spend time with him.

I was just finishing piling some returned books when Edward walked into the library.

"Hey love," he said, walking over to me and kissing me on the cheek.

"You ready for dinner?" I asked, placing my hand on his.

"Of course," he said with a smile. He led us out of the library. He led us down the street and I watched in surprise as we turned into my apartment complex.

"Edward what…" but he silenced me with a finger to my lips. He led me up to my apartment, took the key from my bag and opened the door into the small space. I stood in shock at the sight in front of me. Edward had clearly spent all day here, decorating the apartment in roses and fairy lights. My eyes pricked with tears at the overwhelming feeling that was overtaking me. There was dinner and candles set up as well, but what really got me was in the corner of the room. A small crib and changing area lit up with more lights. As I moved closer I noticed the crib was decorated with toys, stuffed animals, and blankets. I turned to face Edward, who was still standing in the doorway. His gold eyes meet mine, which are now overflowing with tears.

"I wanted you to know I'm okay with this," he said, "I'm not going to leave you until you order me away." I cross the small space into his arms. He welcomes me, wrapping both his arms around my waist tightly, as if I was his lifeline. I held him to me with the same ferocity.

"Thank you," was all I could say through my sobs. I buried my face in his neck and kissed him where his neck meets his shoulder.

The rest of the night went very smoothly, we talked and I ate. Eventually we had moved to the couch, with his head lying in my lap as I raked my fingers through his hair. Even this simple contact was driving me wild. I'm pretty sure he didn't know, but I was having a hard time controlling myself. Maybe it's just because I'm pregnant, but having any sort of release after my day was done was pretty fucking important. There was no way that was going to happen. Even in the shower, I know he would be able to hear me. Not really caring about him seeing me, I stripped off my dress and heels, leaving me in my lace thong and bra and made my way over to the sink to brush my teeth in the bathroom. I could feel his eyes on me, but when I turned around and met his eyes, he looked away and smirked. As he was changing in the other room, I got distracted by the small bump that was starting to form on my abdomen. I put my hand there for a brief moment and swiftly took it off, it was still all very strange to me.

Suddenly I remembered the ache between my legs, that still hadn't been taken care of and the very attractive man in the next room. I finished brushing my teeth and left the bathroom. Without looking at him, I made my way over to my bed and crawled under the covers. Edward was now sitting on the couch.

"Edward," I said in a sweet voice. He looked at me with what looked like longing.

"Yes," he replied.

"Will you lie down with me please?"

"I don't know if that is a very good idea."

"Please, I'll behave myself I promise," I pleaded. He nodded and got up off the couch and walked over to my bed and laid down on top of the covers.

"Edward," I said sternly, "I don't bite." He rolled his eyes and moved under the covers. I wrapped my arm around his waist and lay on my side. After a minute I brought my leg up so it was hiked up on his hips. He looked at me curiously. I started kissing down his neck and the icy temperature was shocking on my warm lips, but I ignored it and continued.

"Bella," he said in a strained voice. I stopped my trail and looked up at his face. His eyes were squeezed shut and his jaw was clenched. I took one of his hands and removed it from his side and placed it on my thigh. I groaned and he opened his eyes, shocked.

"I can't…" he trailed off, but I silenced him by turning his head and kissing him fiercely. I could feel his hesitation, but I was getting impatient.

"I know you want this," I said in a low voice. I could almost hear something snap in his brain. He seemed to lose control for a brief moment, and he kissed me back passionately, with a fire I had never seen from him. Quickly though, he regained his usual composure, breaking the kiss.

"Bella, you know we can't do this while you're pregnant."

"I'm not asking you to fuck me, just give me something," I moaned. Edward raised his eyebrows at my language choice and I laughed and kissed him hard again. He kissed me back and I moved so I was straddling him. We were both breathing harder than normal and I could feel his hardness rub against me through my thong. I moaned and started grinding on him. He sat up and pulled my legs out from under me, so we were now at the foot of the bed and he was on top. He started kissing down my neck and bit down gently at the base, I groaned and arched my back to him in an effort to get closer. His hand traveled down my waist and scooped my ass up in both hands and was cradling it in both hands. I wrapped my legs around him and whimpered. I fisted my hands in his hair and grinded my heat into him as much as I could.

I could see his eyes roll in the back of his head as I continued to grind into him. When my eyes met his, they were full of skepticism, but I nodded and he seemed to relax a bit. I flipped us over and straddled him again and started to run my hands down his chest, tracing my fingers around the bulge in his jeans. His hands moved to my ass and palmed the bare skin with his icy hands, making my head fall back and my mouth open. I started to make myself focus more. I moved my hands to his belt and carefully started undoing his pants. He froze.

"Bella," he groaned.

"Yes," I breathed, kissing his neck again.

"I don't know…." he trailed off. I stopped and looked at him, he looked almost embarrassed.

"What?" I took his face in my hands and made him look at me.

"I um, don't know how to make you feel good," he mumbled. I smiled.

"I'll show you," I whispered. He nodded with a sad smile and moved his hands to my bra clasp, but I stopped his hands.

"Hey, what's wrong," noticing his frown.

"It will sound selfish and arrogant."

"What's new," I joked. He looked down.

"Sorry, that was insensitive."

"I'm sorry if this comes off the wrong way Bella, but I wish I was your first and that we were figuring this out together," he said, playing with my hands in our laps.

"Edward, I made a mistake and I'm sorry about that, but when you left what did you expect me to do? I didn't think you would come back, so I didn't see the point in waiting for anyone special." I cringed at my word choice at the end because Jacob was special, but Edward didn't know he was the father. Could I ever tell him? I would have to eventually if he stayed with me. Fuck my life.

"I did give you every reason to believe I was gone, it's not your fault at all Bella. Please know that, but I can't help, but feel a bit of loss."

"Let me make it up to you," I said seductively and kissed him again. He kissed me back and I went back to rocking on him, trying to create more time I was able to take off his pants completely and reach behind me for my bra clasp. His hands traced my waist and replaced my hands with his. I dipped my head down to his neck and began kissing down his chiseled chest. He groaned as I made my way lower and lower. I looked up at him and smiled. I removed the rest of his boxers and stared at the hardness in front of me.

"This my first time doing this, so let me know what feels good." He nodded and clenched his jaw as I made contact, just taking the tip in my mouth at first. He didn't seem to have any objections, so I continued, taking more into my mouth than before. After a minute of getting into a rhythm, he tangled his hands in my hair and began guiding my head which I took as a good sign. I cupped his balls, messaging them and started sucking a bit more in my mouth to add pressure. He moaned loudly and twitched in my mouth. After a few moments he pulsed and released in my mouth and his whole body relaxed.

He was hazy for a moment before he looked at me and growled. At first I thought he was mad, but then he reached down and grabbed me by the waist and pulled me up, so my chest smashed against his and we both moaned at the feel of finally being skin on skin. He flipped us over, so he was nestled between my legs and I could feel his dick against my heat with only a thin layer of fabric separating us.I wrapped my legs around his waist to pull him closer as he started nipping and kissing his way to my chest. He kissed all around them, but never on them and now I was getting frustrated.

"Edward," I scolded. He was taking too long, so I grabbed him by his hair and put his mouth directly on one of my breasts. He sucked and kissed until I was a writhing, moaning mess beneath him. He gave my other breast the same treatment, but then started his descent to where I wanted him most.

When he finally reached my thong covered pussy I groaned, pulling his hair and bringing him closer to my heat. He pulled down my panities tantalizingly slowly, and when his tongue made contact with me I let out an unapologetic moan that the neighbors probably heard. Upon hearing this, Edward grinned up at me and continued circling his tongue around the place I wanted it most.

"Please," I groaned, my hands tangled up in his unruly bronze hair. He smiled again against me and finally licked at my clit. I threw my head back and moaned, arching my back to get closer to his face. He started curling his tongue and lapping at my opening until I felt like I was losing it. He noticed this and added one of his long fingers to press against my clit. My legs clenched around his head, but this didn't stop him from adding a second finger and sliding them inside me. I started clenching and pulsing around him and he kept pumping in and out as I rocked against his hand. I finally lost it when he slammed a third finger into me. I let out a long moan as I came down from my high. He fell onto his back and let out a deep breath. His hands were now folded behind his head.

"Is it weird that I'm really proud of myself for that ," he chuckled.

"No," I whispered and I shifted my weight, so that I was settled between his legs and our chest were flush together. I started a trail of kisses down his chest. He gently pulled the hair at the nape of my neck to bring my lips back up to his. He kissed me softly, with so much love it almost made me cry, but just when my hand started to trail down to his abdomen, he stopped my hand with a gentle touch. I looked into his eyes in question, a feeling of rejection washed over me and apparently it was evident in my face because he brought one hand up to my face and kissed me hard, forcing my face to angle in a way that he could deepen the kiss. As his tongue slid against mine I started rocking my body against his, but he brought his hands to my hips to still me.

"Not tonight," he whispered. I nodded, too tired to say anything else. I laid my head against his chest and fell into a dreamless and peaceful sleep.