Well hello there, ghouls and gals! As you can see the news of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.
... There was no news? Well.
Apologies for the extensive delay between entries. Had quite the long two months with personal matters and I had precious little time for things I need to do, much less sitting down to write/edit for pleasure. But we're back, finally!
Smaller entry to get the ball rolling again but we'll get momentum on our side yet!
Cinder, Emerald, and Mercury had left.
Weiss couldn't blame them. Not when she'd woken inside a spiral of jagged ice, hysterical and terrified. Any attempts from her friends to console her had fallen flat and she'd skulked off to catch her breath, sending away an irritatingly persistent Nike in the process.
Watch after Cinder? Indeed. Rhodes had been more delusional than she'd thought when making that request. She couldn't look after herself! Not with Salem fraying her mind with threats. Muddying her thoughts and tormenting her in her sleep, when she was awake. Every. Moment. Subtle suggestions to harm someone, to lash out. Like impulses that she had to constantly keep in check whenever someone else was nearby.
She needed to leave. For their sake. For her own. She needed to run. To stay. To help them. No, she needed to hurt them. They betrayed the Church, betrayed Ozpin. They would betray her before long too.
Help? Hurt? Friend? Foe?
What thoughts were hers anymore?
They ate breakfast. Weiss ate alone. Camp, spartan as it was, was broken down and they resumed traveling. Weiss kept to the back, disregarded attempts by her friends to offer comfort with off-handed, hollow reassurances. Intrinsically she knew they didn't hate her even now; emotionally she expected to be rejected and cast out. Thrown aside like a child's toy that they had grown tired of.
"I don't care if it goes to an orphanage or the streets, I want it out of my house by tomorrow!"
While there were no walls here in the fields of Mistral, Weiss still felt like she had been tossed out. The only home she'd known for years, her friends, were on the verge of being stripped away. Not by anyone's loathing of her either but by her own inability to control herself. A failure wholly borne of her own lacking.
Perhaps if she were stronger she could resist Salem. If she were actually up to the task of being a Warden she could resist control and they could continue together, but no. She was weak. Ineffective. Unreliable. And a threat to those she cared about.
Mistral's countryside might have been beautiful. Seas of green and honey-gold wheat reminded her of Vale, but the groves and orchards, splotches of cypress and poplar trees, and the scent of saltwater on the air even so far inland was uniquely mistral. No Grimm in sight, not with regularly patrolling soldiers monitoring the roads even a day's travel from Pradalia. Weiss might have enjoyed it any other day, at a time where her very being wasn't being thrown about like a ship adrift in a stormy sea. High in the sky the sun shone with the warmth of a tender mother's love; Weiss trembled with shivers that even the unearthly rays couldn't chase off.
Her dour mood did not improve as they followed the roads away from Pradalia, moving further into the heart of Mistral. With horses or a carriage they might have covered some two dozen miles in half a day. On foot, with Weiss dragging herself every inch, they managed only a few before stopping for lunch. A spartan meal spent under the sweeping boughs of a towering oak, its limbs stretched to the point of breaking and bending beneath their own eight. Suitable and plenty shaded from the increasingly warm sunlight, although the shadows made Weiss feel anything but relaxed.
As the others ate she plucked at a piece of hard bread with her fingers. Her stomach wouldn't keep food down with how fraught her nerves were. It was all she could manage just to sip at her waterskin and keep herself from becoming dehydrated, a miraculous feat in of itself.
It was obvious enough that she was struggling as piteous looks came from her friends every time she lifted her eyes. Yang, having been the one to suggest she and Ruby stop dating in the interim, looked away every time their gazes met. Feeling ashamed. Maybe even hateful towards herself, an ugly part of Weiss hoped. Another person suffering would not ease her own but she felt justified in wanting for it regardless. Blake did not look at her whatsoever but her ears twitched in Weiss' direction now and again. Monitoring, no doubt, for another breakdown. Anticipating the need to defend herself or flee.
And then there was Ruby. Sweet, thoughtful Ruby, having set aside a small portion of food and leaving it untouched. An unspoken invitation that Weiss left hanging in the air. The demure smiles and skittish glances her way confused her too; did Ruby want to be close or not? She could at least make an effort to come over and speak to her. Hells, they'd been friends for years and this was the treatment she got? They'd kissed, they had shared intimate secrets, and now even Ruby kept her distance?
As swiftly as her anger came upon her it's embers were snuffed out and replaced by a hollow, sinking sadness. Of course Ruby avoided her, she'd all but tried to kill her. Unstable. Dangerous. A freak.
Salem had marked her, tormented her, but it was Weiss' own weakness that allowed for it. Her crusty bread landed on the loamy ground as she drew her knees to her chest and buried her face in them, inhaling crisp afternoon air with trembling breaths.
She did not belong in Atlas, not when her mere existence was a blight on the Schnee family. Her friends, her family were treating her like a leper and kept her at a distance, deservedly of course. Even Vale would take her back only if she kowtowed and gave herself wholly to the Church, to Ozpin and Salem's clutches.
"Ma'am, you should eat more. Here, have an apple."
She wouldn't be able to hurt anyone from Vale. The others would be spared, their Warden's marks removed, and she would resign herself to servitude. Assuming Salem was as good as her word, that is. With no evidence one way or another and her back to a wall Weiss had little choice but to believe it.
Nike shifted beside her and tried to pry an arm free from her legs. "Weiss, you cannot starve yourself. Would you prefer meat? I could hunt if you desire something more filling."
Reluctant, Weiss lifted her head and accepted the apple. Bright red with splotches of green and polished with the sheen of a mirror. Fresh from a tree. Her mouth watered despite herself and she bit into it, feeling the explosion of juice almost seep out of her pursed lips. She ate it without tasting it, vaguely registering the sweet tartness while idly wondering how she could send Nike away too. If she had lost control of all else in her life then she would spare Nike whatever fate Salem had in store for her. It would be the very least she could do for the woman whose life had been upended because of her.
Meager meals finished, the group collected themselves and continued onward. Barely registering how her feet pounded as she walked, Weiss trudged at the rear of the procession, ignorant or uncaring of the idle chatter of her friends ahead. Whatever they discussed, be it plans for the future, hopes, or simply ideas for getting through the journey ahead, they did not concern her. Weiss had already accepted that she did not factor into the trip to the capital. Before the day was done her friends would understand that too.
Drudgery continued. One benefit of losing herself to her own sinking woes was that the mundane nature of traversing became an afterthought. Weiss mechanically put one foot before another and just walked, stopping when the group stopped, adding whatever suitable comment or suggestion she had when conversation came her way. For all her investment in the proceedings she might as well not have been present whatsoever.
Mistral might have been beautiful. The way that clouds peered over the peaks of distant mountains, climbing over them before tumbling down the face and spreading across the soft blue sky gave the heavens a soft, painterly feel. Further from civilization the trees and greenery were no longer maintained but nonetheless glorious for it; trees twisted and erupted from the earth, shirking gravity as they rose, rose, rose up to reach for the tumbling skybox above. Bubbling streams and gurgling rivers bisected the hilly landscape, the occasional pond giving rise to the chorus of frog song, the croaking chirps shaking the calm afternoon air. Purple lilies, yellow daffodils, and swatches of burgundy gladiolus sprung up wherever tree coverage ebbed, giving rise to splotches of color that seemed to explode against the brown and green canvas around them.
It might have been a gorgeous sight, and had Weiss an artistic bone in her body she may have, in another time, painted it for a keepsake. For all its allure it might as well have been a blank sheet. Someone could have slathered ash from a fireplace across a canvas and Weiss wouldn't have noticed the difference.
The others seemed to enjoy it though, stopping occasionally to admire scenery or travel off the road and explore a bit.
Weiss was happy for them. Well, not happy, she wasn't sure if she could feel happy anymore, but content. Thankful that they still found joy in something.
Jealous that they found joy in something.
The day passed in an unremarkable blur and by the time the sun had begun to set, Weiss had made peace with herself. With the sky still cloudless and turned the color of a peach - orange with streaks of pale yellow bisecting it, they stopped at the base of a monstrously large oak tree. Where most trees may spread themselves a few feet and stop, this one seemed to miss that memo and continued to grow. Wide as a house, deep as one too, it dwarfed everything around it and climbed so high that Weiss' neck locked up as she tried to stare at its canopy and surmise its height. They had seen it from so far off that they had naturally gravitated towards it, following the main road or not, and the distraction proved to be worthwhile. Roots sprung from the ground before diving back in, a whale breaching the surface and being caught in time, locked in air for all time.
With the dying sunlight beyond the thickets and the tree's indomitable reach above their surrounds were darker, but not impenetrably so. As they drew closer the air became tinted with a greenish hue, and once they were within a few yards they found the reason. Veins of pulsing green traveled up the roots, gnarling and following veins in the bark up the tree, climbing steadily before spreading out along sweeping branches. The tree thrummed with magical energy and Weiss felt her skin prickle as they drew near, hairs standing on end. So much unfiltered energy, it was no wonder the tree grew as large as it had. And it had somehow remained healthy too, not suffering for the buildup of miasma like a Magi would.
A suitable place of rest as any, Weiss supposed, gathering with the others beneath one of the arching roots. Further light provided by lantern-like growths provided ample illumination for them to set up camp, and with the air still warm from the day they decided to forgo a fire. Cloistering themselves among mossy rocks and the corpses of smaller trees they laid out cloaks and jackets, situating themselves comfortably for the evening ahead.
Dinner came and went. A cold meal of bread, fruits, and some mushroom Ruby had found and Nike verified to be edible. Filling, and to Weiss' own surprise, flavorful. She even found herself smiling a little as Qrow told them stories around their nonexistent campfire.
And yet any joy she found in it turned to sorrow as she considered what was to come. As the others settled in for the evening, a day's toll dragging them into a restful slumber, Weiss remained awake, too anxious to sleep. While she listened to the settling breaths of her friends she watched the lantern-lights above pulsate with lazy energy, their yellow glow cold despite their apparent warmth. With little light besides them and the glowing magical veins one could almost mistake them for stars.
Idly, Weiss reached up towards one, wondering if wishing upon it would somehow allay all of her worries. Then, as if realizing her folly, she snorted to herself and turned her back on the luminescent growth, crawling over to Nike's sleeping form and rousing the woman with a few shakes.
"Nike?" she whispered. "I'm going to need a favor."
/+/+/+/+/+/
Mistral was beautiful, Weiss decided, in the same way a carefully planned funeral might be. And perhaps the setting of the sun and the changing of color palette from vibrant hues to subdued blacks and greys had something to do with it. Or perhaps it was the notion that she had just buried herself beneath the magically enhanced oak that left her feeling so gloomy, her heart having stayed back beneath those towering boughs.
As wind whipped at her face, the half-mask covering her mouth and nose doing nothing to shield her watering eyes, Weiss tried not to dwell on it overmuch. Tried and failed. Even as the stars above showed unapologetically, the shattered moon presiding over them with its pale gleam, most of the landscape remained cast in shadow. And with little for her eyes to admire her mind was left to its own devices, burrowing deeper into the tunneling pits that had begun to form throughout the day.
North. The only vague direction provided by Salem had been to travel northward. She assumed that they would be given further instruction as they neared their intended destination, whatever that was. The lack of details provided had been enough for Nike to question her decision, but not enough to refuse her.
Anyone in their right mind would have refused to fly off in the dead of night on a hysterical plea to be away from their companions. Nike had ceased being just that the moment Rhodes twisted her thoughts and turned her into Weiss' unwitting servant. And Weiss, for all her own powerlessness, could only rely on the woman's wings to ferry her away from friend and family alike, constrained by her own inability to fly. Anything less and the others would have too much of a chance of catching her.
So, roused from much needed sleep, Nike had begrudgingly taken Weiss in her arms and cast the both of them into the sky, wings beating against currents aided by magic.
In some recess of her mind Weiss figured she ought to apologize for her demands, but why bother when Nike would only refute her? So instead she let herself be carried in silence. Nike's arms grasped her around the midsection, Weiss' back pressed firmly to the Faunus' chest, legs awkwardly clamped between Nike's own to keep them from dangling. The sheer amount of strength to get oneself airborne must be incredible, nevermind carrying a passenger. Yet Nike made no protest and carried her northward, jettisoning through the air and turning them into a pale arrow slicing through the Mistralian countryside.
Nike's idolation enabled her to power through fatigue long enough that the impressive oak disappeared over the horizon, but little farther. A day's worth of travel and little sleep had taken its toll, and as they left another nondescript village behind them, its twinkling lights mere specks along the ground, Weiss felt them bob in the air and tremble, Nike's arms around her chest tightening.
"Ma'am, I apologize," Nike rasped, "But I need to land. I can't go much further than this."
"We're more than far enough, land whenever you are safely able."
Their descent was a slow one despite Nike's exhaustion. Too close to a town would arouse suspicion. Not enough space and they risked crashing into something. They swept over a field once before circling back and beginning their descent, a gradual fall that turned steeper as they dove, either by design or by Nike's flagging strength.
"Close your eyes and hold on, Weiss."
She already had a death grip on the woman but Weiss redoubled it, grasping on until her hands ached. Wind buffeted them and even squeezed shut her eyes stung, clothing threatening to tear from her body, hair whipping back violently. With a muffled beating of wings they descended, wavering and almost tumbling as Nike's feet finally found ground, all but dropping Weiss as she stumbled forward, then collapsed onto all fours. Weiss had barely righted herself before she heard the dry heaving, grimacing and turning to find Nike shuddering, wings hanging limp across her back and body trembling. Unsure of what succor she might provide Weiss walked closer and placed her chilled, wind-bitten hand between Nike's shoulder blades, rubbing along the woman's spine as she waited for the moment to pass.
Grass rustled in the wind as Nike tried to stand, teetered, then collapsed onto her rear. From her vantage earlier Weiss hadn't been able to see much of the woman and what she saw in that moment left guilt clanging through her. Pale, showered in sweat and too weak to stand, it was a miracle Nike hadn't passed out. With dark rings under her eyes and the slightest trail of blood leaking from her nose and mouth, Nike must have realized Weiss had been staring as she hastily wiped evidence away.
"Nike! How long were you using magic?"
"I just need a moment's rest, ma'am, then we can keep -"
"No. We are done flying tonight." Weiss looked around for something of use, groping at the few pockets she had. No medicine, she had left that with her friends in case they needed it. Nothing to help alleviate the spellcast sickness Nike was now dealing with. Because of her. "I can go back to town, it wasn't that far. I'll get you something."
Nike shook her head and winced as the simple movement seemed to cause more pain. "Please, don't. You said it was too risky, I'll be okay in the morning."
Somehow she doubted a few hours rest would make up for everything, even with proper care. Scouring her mind for some magical remedy Weiss growled as she came up empty. What good was magic if she couldn't use it to help someone? For all the aplomb she carried herself with as a runic Magi she couldn't heal, had never been able to and never would be. The one thing she actually wanted to do would forever remain out of her reach.
Nike collapsed back and let out a strangled groan, chest heaving with shuddering breaths. Not dying but doubtless feeling close to it. And all Weiss could do was watch as the woman suffered, caught between passing out and being wracked with pains keeping her awake.
All because she had demanded that they leave that instant, before she could second guess herself and decide to stay. Before she could scuff out her poorly written apology and hope against all hope that remaining with her friends would be okay.
Now her lone travel companion had been rendered immobile and she had no way to remedy that. Her friends would awake to find her gone, a hastily scrawled piece of parchment the only indication she had left in the night. Nike would take some time to recover, and there could be lingering effects for straining herself so much. Both instances wrought by Weiss' hand. All of it laid at her feet.
Disregarding her own exhaustion, Weiss began scouring the area for anything that could help Nike recover. Ginger for the nausea. Spearmint, cinnamon, anything. If she had any knowledge of apothecary arts she could create a tincture to treat the ailment in one go but she lacked that too.
With Nike rasping for air on the ground Weiss cut a circle around their landing, searching desperately for anything of use. They had landed in a field it seemed, one which stretched on for miles, rising and falling with hills that rolled like lazy waves. And in the pale moon's glow she could just barely make out the plants around her. Grasses, mostly, with a spattering of daisies and daffodils. More than anything though were the hyacinths. Tall, reedy plants with elongated stalks of grape-purple flowers, fluttering silently in the evening breeze. Dozens, if not hundreds of them growing all around, filling the fields with a wafting, sickly-sweet fragrance.
Weiss' chest tightened and she grasped her shirt, stumbling through the odious flowers in search of something useful. More useless flowers, empty beauty that provided nothing of value. Useless. A waste of space. Taking up room where something actually helpful could grow.
She resonated with them, her fury towards the flowers dashed with an unholy matrimony of self-pity and self-loathing. Grinding her teeth and blinking through frustrated tears she reached out and tore a hyacinth free, crushing it in her palm before hurling it away. In her chest a frustrated scream boiled to a spilling point, turning into a strangled wail as it left her lips.
She had left her friends. Left her home, twice. Driven the one person with her to the point of collapse and was so mired in her own hatred that she'd become entirely useless. Was Salem happy now? What would the woman think if she just threw herself off a cliff somewhere, or fell on her own rapier? Would that make her and Ozpin happy?
"Is that what you want?!" Weiss howled. Her voice carried across the field, the languid rustling of grass her only answer. "Do you want me dead, Salem? Here I am! Send Grimm after me! Strike me down, make me take my own life!" Coughing, she shook her head and stomped her foot. "I know you can hear me! I'm alone now, so just do it!" Heart pounding, she held her arms out and waited for something. Anything. A pain in her head, her body rebelling against her, or her mind being torn asunder. As seconds dragged on and nothing came of it Weiss dropped her arms to her sides and loosed a mirthless laugh.
"You're deciding to leave me alone too now, are you? Wonderful."
Fitting though. Shuddering, Weiss forced her legs to move and trudged back towards Nike, finding the woman staring at her, confusion and concern etched on her face. Only someone as broken as you cares, Weiss mused, kneeling down and wiping away fresh blood around the woman's mouth. A broken mind and a broken spirit. What a wonderful pair we make.
"I'm going to get you medicine, Nike. I need you to stay here and rest while I do."
Coughing, Nike grabbed Weiss' hand before she could move away. A grip so weak that Weiss wouldn't have to try to break it. "Ma'am, no. If someone attacks you and I'm not there -"
"I survived this long without you, and I'm only getting medicine. I'll be fine." Not bothering with a placating smile she pried her hand free, removed her jacket and lifted Nike's head to use it as a pillow. So weak was the woman that she couldn't resist beyond a breathless protest. "Do you honestly think your goddess is so incapable that I can't go into a town alone?"
Considering her howling moments before that may be the case. Conflicted, Nike opened her mouth before giving a slight shake of her head. "No, Weiss."
"Rest. You've done enough for tonight. I'll find you medicine and some proper food and be back before you know it."
She would do something right tonight, even if it was only to prolong someone else's suffering. Good intentions notwithstanding she would only condemn Nike to a terrible fate later, no doubt, but she couldn't in good conscience abandon the woman in her current state. After drawing runes around Nike to form a rudimentary barrier and swearing to eviscerate any Grimm that might try to harm her Weiss collected herself, finding her rapier discarded among the blades of grass and trudging back towards the distant village.
If anyone is going "I can't believe the others just let Weiss go!" Well don't worry, they're coming next chapter. Their reaction rather; I'm not addressing it this chapter because I just wanted to get something concise out there to get things in motion again.
For those of you who've stuck around in my absence and actually looked forward to a new chapter: what's wrong with you? Jokes aside, thank you as always for reading, hope you've all been well, and if not I hope things take a turn for the better! May you all find happiness in whatever it is you do!
Probably before Weiss does. This girl would smack me if she could...