Blue Mistletoe

This little one shot is for the December Writing Challenge in the Janet Evanovich Fan Fiction Facebook Group. If you write or read Stephanie Plum FF, we'd love to have you join us! Search Janet Evanovich Fan Fiction and filter to Groups. Happy Holidays!

Dialogue: "I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."

Activity: Family Dinner/Mistletoe

Troupe: Friends to lovers

It's the most wonderful time of the year! With the kids jingle belling, and everyone telling you be of good cheer. It's the most wonderful time of the year!

The song droned on through the speakers. I sat numbly on the couch, feeling anything but wonderful, barely aware of the conversations swirling around me. I had a really scarce month with skips and had just barely scraped together enough money to pay my bills. My POS car had no heat, and Rex had gone paws up on December 8th. I still missed him like crazy. Joe and I had called it quits a few months ago, and I didn't really miss him at all. But I was totally over having people look at me with pity in their eyes. The person I really missed was my one-time lover and best friend, Ranger. He has been in the wind on a mission for the US Army since July. Tank had given me a couple of updates that Ranger had made his check-ins, but I had no idea when he was returning. Before he left he'd dropped by my apartment, kissed the daylights out of me, and told me he'd see me soon.

Meanwhile, it was Christmas Eve, and ever the submissive daughter, I'd come to the annual Open House at my parent's as instructed. Mom was in her element, hosting a house full of guests for the holidays. There were more than two dozen people crammed into the living room and dining room, enjoying all kinds of hors d'oeuvres and gossip. She'd done her Christmas tree completely in red this year - red lights, bows and ribbons, and big sparkly red ball ornaments. I sipped on the mug of wassail and let my mind drift to Ranger, saying a quick prayer that he was safe and warm.

Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree won't be the same if you're not here with me… I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas. The old Elvis song ran through my head on a loop.

"Huh?" I said when it was clear Valerie and Eleanor Smith were waiting on an answer about something.

"I said," Valerie said pointedly. "That it was a shame that Joe couldn't make it over tonight." Eleanor bobbed her head along sympathetically.

"Not really," I said. "He wasn't invited."

"Nonsense," Mom said, breezing past with a tray of canapés. "I invited him."

"And I uninvited him," I said. "We broke up. In September."

"That's kind of long for your off times, isn't it?" Eleanor asked, looking more interested in the gossip of the conversation.

"I guess it would be if there was going to be another on period. But there isn't."

"Nonsense, Steph," Val said. "I'm sure he'll take you back if you apologize."

"I did nothing wrong. He's the one who wasn't capable of keeping his dick in his own pants." I hadn't raised my voice that much, but it happened to be at the same time of a natural conversation lull, so everyone heard the last line and swiveled their heads to look at me. I cleared my throat and stood up.

"Let me just say this once and for all. When it comes to Joe and me, in the words of Taylor Swift: We are NEVER ever ever ever getting back together!"

Half the group looked completely unconvinced, Mom looked horrified, and Valerie looked jealous. Wait, what?!

I was about to launch into another diatribe when Grandma stood up and started a slow clap. Dad joined her, and in a couple of minutes everyone in the room - except Mom and Val - were clapping and smiling.

"Please," I said, with a small smile. "Do feel free to pass this along to the rest of the 'Burg." I retreated into the kitchen to see if I could snitch some desserts. It was a little after 10, and I knew we'd be leaving for 11pm Mass in a few minutes. I struck gold and scarfed down 3 miniature cupcakes before Mom came in with an empty tray.

"Why don't you ride to the church with us, Stephanie?" Mom said, removing her apron and smoothing the front of her dark forest green dress.

"Because my apartment is just a mile away from the church," I said. "It doesn't make sense to come all the way back here and then drive home."

"Well, you could stay the night," she said. "Have Christmas morning with us!"

"I'm coming over for dinner at 6," I said quickly. I had big plans to sleep in, and enjoy a cup of coffee in peace, while I watched my favorite movies in my child-free apartment. I mean, I love my nieces, but damn are they loud. Especially on Christmas.

"Did you want to change?" Mom said. "I'm sure Valerie has something you can borrow."

I glanced down at my legging and red sweater dress, wondering what was wrong with it. "I'm good," I said. I wasn't even wearing jeans. Sheesh!

Mom sighed in the way only she can. "Well, it's time to start getting things loaded up. We don't want to be late."

I grabbed my purse and laced up the furry but practical boots I'd opted to wear since the snow was supposed to pick up again before Mass was over. I trooped out to my Ford Escape, parked on the snow-covered street and climbed in. Before I could shut the door, the passenger door wrenched open, and Grandma hopped in.

"Ok, if I ride with you?" she said, plopping her patent leather purse onto her lap.

Before I could answer, Mr. Kolowsky backed out of the drive and motored down the street, crashing right into my open door, bending it back with a screech of metal. With a loud pop, the hinges gave, and my door was laying on the middle of the road. I don't think the collision registered with Mr. Kolowsky because he didn't even slow down.

"Perfect," I muttered, getting back out of the car. Barely made rent, had no food in the house, and now it looked like I needed a new car. And I'll have a blue, blue, blue, blue Christmas.

"Henry can't see too well at night anymore," Grandma said. "Probably he shouldn't be driving."

"Yeah, I see that." I said, dragging the door out of the road and dropping it on the front lawn. "Guess we have to ride with Mom and Dad after all."

The late-night mass service at Our Lady of the Angels was packed, but the service was reverent and traditional and gave me a little bit of the warm Christmas spirit I'd been missing the past few weeks. We lit our candles and sang Silent Night as the clock struck midnight. After the service, I made the rookie mistake of making eye contact and got sucked into a conversation with Father Patrick. I realized Mom and Grandma were nowhere in sight, so I quickly made my way into the parking lot - just in time to see the taillights on my Dad's Buick pulling out of the lot. My phone dinged with a text message, and I fished it out of my purse.

GRANDMA: Helen asked Joe to give you a ride home. He's on the south parking lot in his truck.

ME: Thanks for the heads up, Grandma.

Son of a bitch! Would the matchmaking ever fucking end?!

I quickly ducked back into the church and went out the side door, as far away from the south lot as humanly possible. I was happy I'd worn warm boots as I tugged my hat over my curls and buttoned the top two buttons of my coat. It wasn't too terribly windy, and my apartment was only about a mile away, so it was totally walkable. The snow had started up again, so it wasn't long before my coat was covered with fluffy flakes. I walked and let my mind wander. I'd finally come to accept that I was never going to be good enough for my Mother. And after a lot of self-reflection, I'd realized that was her problem, and not mine. But the longer I walked, alone on Christmas, I began to wonder how I'd managed to fail so spectacularly at life. I had a job I'd blackmailed my own cousin into giving me, a cheater ex-husband, a cheater ex-boyfriend, a best friend I was basically in love with who didn't feel the same way, and parents who stranded me at church on Christmas eve because they thought I was so pathetic I deserved to be with a womanizing asshole. My thoughts had skittered way past a blue Christmas and were heading in a much darker direction.

I was about halfway home when a shiny black Jeep Liberty drove past, going the opposite direction. I didn't pay much attention, until I heard it make U-turn and come back towards me. I turned when I heard the door slam, surprised to see Lester walking towards me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Taking a Christmas Eve stroll, Beautiful?" Les asked, closing the distance between us.

"My Mom thought Morelli giving me a ride home from midnight mass would be a good opportunity for us to make up."

"Seriously?" he said, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline.

"So, I decided walking home sounded better than that."

"You could have called," Tank said, climbing out of the driver's seat. "We would have taken you home."

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked.

"Running patrols so the guys could have Christmas with their families," Tank said.

"That's really thoughtful," I said, touched at their generosity. "Have you heard…" I couldn't bring myself to finish the question, but I didn't have to, because Tank shook his head and Lester looked down.

"Get in the car, Steph," Les said. "We'll give you a ride."

"Oh, you don't need to…"

"Stephanie!" Tank said in his scary voice.

"Ok, ok, Thank you. It is getting a little chilly," I said, noticing for the first time some of my curls had actually frozen thanks to the snow falling on them.

"Why do you look so sad, Beautiful?" Les asked as we settled into the SUV.

"It's been a bad day. A bad week. A bad few months, really. I was just thinking it wouldn't make much of a difference to anyone if I wasn't here."

Lester whirled around his face more serious than I'd ever seen it.

"Don't ever say that Steph," he said quietly.

"You don't even know, do you?" Tank asked.

"Know what?" I relied.

"How amazing you are," Lester said.

"How much light and fun you bring into our lives," Tank said.

"That he's completely in love with you," Lester said.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. The love that comes with a condom. Honestly, I've failed at every practically everything in my life - job, relationship, making my family proud."

"Bullshit," Tank said.

"You know," Lester said, still serious. It was starting to freak me out a little how serious he was being. "I've been where you are. And I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."

"No man is a failure if he has friends, Little Girl," Tank said.

I cracked a small smile and realized we were going away from my apartment. "Was that a line from It's a Wonderful Life? Wait! Where are we going?"

"Home," Tank and Lester said together.

"You passed it," I said.

"That apartment isn't your home." Tank said as he swung the SUV into the Rangeman garage, and I couldn't stop a couple tears from popping out and skittering down my cheek. "This is where you belong."

We got on the elevator, and Tank's face broke into a huge grin when he checked the read out on his phone. He exchanged a look with Lester, and while they did the ESP thing, I yelped when the elevator began its ascent without any buttons being pressed. It rose swiftly and dinged open on the 7th floor.

The guys escorted me off the elevator, placed 3 sharp knocks on the penthouse and were back on the elevator giving me a little salute as the doors slid closed just as the door swung open to reveal Ranger shirtless, barefoot, and wearing red and green plaid pajama pants.

"Good to see you, Babe." Ranger had me wrapped in the most delicious of hugs. It had been nearly 6 months since I'd seen him, and it felt like something that had been missing inside me clicked back into place.

"Ranger," I breathed, returning his hug, and letting my nose nestle into his neck. The scent of Bulgari filled my nostrils and it felt like coming home. He pulled back and brushed the half-thawed curls off my face, as he leaned forward to capture my lips in a searing kiss. When his tongue touched mine, it was all I could do to keep standing. When he broke the kiss, he pulled away, giving me all 1000 watts of his smile. He glanced up and smirked.

"Mistletoe," he said, gesturing to the ceiling and kissing me again.

"I didn't know you were coming home," I said. "I didn't bring your present."

"Babe," Ranger said, tugging me into the apartment. "All I want for Christmas is you."

It's the most wonderful time of the year! There'll be much mistltoeing, And hearts will be glowing when loved ones are near. It's the most wonderful time of the year!

"Ranger…"

"Merry Christmas, Babe."

"Merry Christmas, Ranger."

FIN