Chapter 16

Silver Moonlight

Quiet heartbeats

Pumping, pumping

Through my chest

Reaching, are they reaching?

Recently I've had this feeling

That they aren't, that I'm losing touch

With life, with myself, with you

It's not the same when I wake up,

When I go to bed

My heart aches, it's physical

This pain, I can't name it

I want to see you, would you let me?

Soon, too soon, I feel them slipping

My heartbeats, they're dying away

Without you

Can't I hear yours too?

Chase had really been trying his best. Since visiting Molly in the clinic he hadn't gone out of his way to talk to her, see her, or mention her in any conversation. He could keep himself out of her life, he could keep others from knowing she was in his, but no matter what he did he couldn't keep her out of his mind. Cooking didn't help, in fact, Yolanda had been telling him that his meals have been lacking their usual flair lately. She had jokingly asked him if he was love sick and slapped him on the back but he turned away with a sour look, cursing his emotions.

His sour mood hung around him at the bar too, snapping at Kathy and grunting in response to customer's inquiries. Kathy, so fed up with it, decided to start ignoring him completely and even Hayden, who was slow to get irritated, told Chase to take the day off a couple of times so he wouldn't hurt business. The villagers, who were already used to Chase's mood swings didn't mind but the tourists, who came to the island to have a good time, were often put off by his presence.

It was Saturday, late afternoon and the town was dead. Everyone was preparing for the Firefly festival down by the river. Chase, meanwhile, was enjoying the peace and smoking a cigarette at the beach by the docks. Since today was a holiday for the island and everything was closed, tourists weren't granted access and that meant that the beach, which was always packed around this time of year, was back to its normal quiet self with the exception of a few more wrappers and beer bottles around than usual. Chase smothered his cigarette in one of those wrappers and then picked it up, throwing it away in the trash.

He looked back at the ocean and took a deep breath. The night was clear, the water smooth, but his mind was in chaos. Could nothing help? He spotted a beer can nearby and took aim at it with a kick. It flew a good ten feet away and he glared at it like it was the cause of all of his problems.

Suddenly a voice came out from behind him. "You're not going to pick that up?"

He turned around in resignation. He recognized the voice and wasn't sure if his heart skipped a beat in excitement or despair.

"I don't have to," he said, looking at his fingernails instead of her.

"And why not?" Molly responded, moving around him and going to pick up the can.

"Exactly because of this," Chase said, trying to hide a smile as she threw the can away for him.

Molly frowned, not amused. She knew he was avoiding her for some reason and she wasn't that nice to be friendly with someone who wasn't with her.

"You still should've picked it up. If I wasn't here would you have just left it on the beach? You should have a bit more responsibility as a resident here, you know," she said, crossing her arms.

Chase could tell she was upset at him. He didn't like it, but instead of saying something nice to ease the tension all he said was, "It wouldn't have mattered either way. What's one more beer can? Don't you think you're just being a bit too uptight? Next thing I know you'll be wearing a sweater vest. And why are you here anyways? Shouldn't you be at the river by now?"

Molly's face flushed in anger. "I just love how you can insult two people at the same time in one sentence, Chase, it sure takes real talent. I mean, I don't know if I know someone who's as good at being a jerk as you are. You should be paid for it, that way you could be rich in no time and could move off of this tiny island and go open your fancy restaurant. That's what you want, isn't it? And what I'm doing here is none of your business."

Chase took a step forward, irked. "You think you know what I want? You don't even know me, so stop assuming things."

"You're right, I don't know you and I don't think I want to. Now, if you'll excuse me," Molly said, trembling a little in anger, her ears bright red and stalking past him.

He watched as she walked away, already regretting his words. Giving himself a couple of minutes to cool down, he leaned down balancing on the balls of his feet. Recovering shortly after, he picked himself back up and started to walk past the fishery. But, as soon as he rounded the corner, he immediately jumped back and hid himself. Peaking around, he saw Molly leaning against the wall, hands pressed against her eyes.

Before he could process exactly what he saw, the door to the fishery opened and Toby walked out wearing shorts and a gray sweater. Chase retreated farther into the shadows, wanting to leave but at the same time wanting to witness what would happen next.

He saw as Toby stood in front of her, raising his hand as if he was going to pull hers away from her face but then letting it drop back to his side. Chase's jaw tightened and his ears were straining to hear Toby as he asked what was wrong.

Molly, so spaced out that she didn't notice him, jumped back and consequently hit her head against the side of the house. She cried out in pain and held the back of her head, her face turning red from embarrassment this time. Toby took a step forward unsure of what to do, awkwardly letting his hand float in midair.

"Are you okay?" he asked. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, no, it's not your fault," said Molly, rubbing the back of her head. "Somehow this reminds me of our first meeting though."

Toby smiled. "You're right, but this time it's the other way around. Are you sure you're alright, though? You're crying," he said, pointing to a stray tear, slowly trailing down her face.

Molly blushed again and hurriedly wiped it away. "I'm okay, really. It doesn't even hurt anymore."

Toby was still unconvinced but Molly shook her head and smiled, reassuring him.

"Well…if you're sure. Sorry you had to walk out here though, I didn't think I was going to be this late."

Molly shook her head again. "It's okay, I didn't mind. I like walking in town at this time of day, it's nice. So, I'm assuming you and Ozzie got a big load today?"

"Yeah, we did really well. Now that the waters are back to normal the fish are coming back en masse. I'm really glad."

Molly smiled, glad that her ringing the bells could help out the villagers this much.

"But anyways, I'm just glad we made it back in time. By the way, you look nice tonight. I like that dress," Toby said. Molly was wearing a knee-length violet dress with a star pattern on it, along with black tights underneath and her nice black boots.

"Oh, uh, thanks," she said awkwardly. "So, er, shall we get going?"

Toby nodded and stepped in line next to her, a light smile on his face. Molly looked up at him, his face thrown in shadow but his small smile standing out with his green-blue eyes just slightly reflecting the moonlight as he opened them more. But, what stood out the most was his blue-grey hair and how it turned pure silver in the moonlight. Molly squinted and had to look away. How was it that everything around her was just so dazzling?

The pair slowly made their way to flute fields, making small talk the entire time unaware that they were just eavesdropped on. Chase didn't come out from his hiding spot until they were well past the bridge and when he did, he didn't know where to go. Suddenly, he felt like going to the Firefly festival but knew that he couldn't handle another scene like that. What were Toby and Molly doing going to the festival together? Were they dating? But he hadn't heard anything from Kathy who would have been the first to know. He's never seen them together either but then again, did he even see Molly that much?

Even if they were together, what could he do about it? Would he do anything about it? Maybe it's a good thing, then he wouldn't be so…curious about her, right? Chase clenched his fist and slammed it into the wall next to him. Why was he this angry!? He really couldn't take it anymore, he had to do something about this. He breathed in and started walking away, deciding to go back to his home and go to bed early; if he could that is. By the time he got home he could see that the festival was well underway and quickly passed by, not looking at anyone and not pausing when he heard Maya call out to him. He just went straight to his house, checked his mail and then slammed the door shut, going to the kitchen and getting out his frying pan. The best way to relieve stress for him was to cook and that's exactly what he planned on doing.

Having arrived at the festival, Toby and Molly immediately got in line to get their candle boats in the shape of flowers to send down the river. Thankfully, most families spent this night at home and as a result there were only a handful of people present which meant less stares. The mayor handed them their candles and smiled happily at them. He asked how they were doing that night and they both responded that they were doing well.

"I see that you two arrived together. Are Ozzie and Paolo coming as well, Toby?" the mayor asked, a bit too aloof.

"No, they decided to stay at home this year," Toby responded. The mayor raised his eyebrows at the two of them and appeared to be about to say something else when his son came walking over, asking how many candles they had left.

He cut off mid-sentence when he saw Molly. Then, when he laid eyes on Toby standing directly next to her, ran into the side of the desk.

"Gill! There you are, I was wondering where you ran off to. You were asking about the candles? We have ten more, but I think that this is as big as the crowd's going to get this year," Hamilton quickly said, trying cover up his son's stumble.

Gill cleared his throat, his cheeks slightly flushed. "Yes, I was just checking the current. And is that so? Hmmm, well it is quite a bit more than last year, so I suppose I should be happy with the result."

Molly stood there awkwardly, not sure if she should greet him or not. Gill was another one that she hadn't talked to since she was in the clinic. She didn't know why it was so hard to talk to him, but she avoided making eye contact. Just as she was debating whether to say hi or not, Gill beat her to it and greeted her, even if it was a bit stiffly.

She looked up and met his eyes. "Good evening." They looked at each other for a second before looking in opposite directions. Toby, noticing the awkwardness, quickly greeted Gill and then excused themselves, guiding Molly down closer to the river. He wanted to ask her what that was all about but didn't get the chance to as they were brought into conversation after conversation on their way down.

They smiled and nodded through their encounters with Perry, Mira and Irene, finally making it down to the river and finding a relatively private space away from everyone else. They sat down almost directly under the bridge and sat in silence for a little while, watching the fireflies twinkle as they floated above the water.

Molly was aware of how romantic the setting was and was definitely feeling wary. They could still hear the babble of conversation from above them but louder was the flow of the water and the frogs croaking off in the distance. She didn't want to look sideways for fear of blushing so she fiddled around with her dress until she couldn't take it anymore and slowly lifted her eyes.

When she turned she saw Toby, his eyes slivers as he gently looked at her. She blushed as expected and quickly looked away.

"How long were you just going to stare at me without saying anything?" she asked, bringing her hand to her face in order to hide her blush. She heard him chuckle and glanced at him. He had turned away, leaning forward and looking out over the water.

"I was just thinking."

"What were you thinking about?" Molly asked, pausing for a few seconds. Toby was always thinking, always daydreaming and it made her curious as to what he was daydreaming about. Going fishing? Being on the boat with his family? About the past, or maybe the future?

He took a couple of seconds to answer but then he finally asked, "What was going on with you and Gill earlier? It seemed kind of tense. Did something happen between the two of you?"

Molly fidgeted uncomfortably. "To be honest, I'm not really sure. At first, when he came back, he wouldn't stop asking me about the bells and bugging me about it and then after…after the incident he came to visit me, apologized and then…just stopped talking to me. I don't know why, but it's weird around him now. I don't know what to do about it, or if I should even do anything at all."

Toby reached up and ruffled his bangs in a gesture she noticed he did every time he was troubled with something.

"He didn't say anything unusual at the clinic?" he asked, speculating. He knew what he whispered while he was by her bedside when she was sleeping and didn't know if Gill was thinking about the same things. Somehow he doubted it, Gill barely knew her and never showed that kind of side to anyone. He couldn't possibly be interested in Molly too, right?

Molly scrunched up her forehead, thinking. "No, not really. I mean…I can't remember that much, but…"

Toby stared back out at the water, thoughtful. "I think…that whatever it is, it's on his end. You shouldn't have to say anything. I've known Gill since I was thirteen and although we aren't that close of friends…I know him and I know that he'll eventually come around and talk to you. So, don't worry about it."

"Really?" Molly asked. She didn't like to admit it but it had been bugging her. Whenever it seemed like someone had some sort of issue, whether small or big with her, she couldn't get it out of her head. How Chase was acting was also bugging her. A lot. She didn't know what she did and she didn't know what she should do, if anything to fix it. Every time they saw each other it seemed like they would argue, most of the time about nothing. He wasn't teasing like before rather…he truly seemed to dislike her now.

As if Toby knew what she was thinking he asked her about what had happened just outside of the fishery before they left.

Molly blushed, a bit ashamed of how she reacted to Chase's attitude earlier. "It…wasn't anything really. I just…got into a bit of an argument with someone before meeting up with you. But, it wasn't a big deal. Really."

Toby wanted to ask with who but before he could he heard the mayor call out from above that they were about to send out the candles. Toby stood up and turned around, holding his hand out to Molly. She accepted it and was pulled to her feet rather easily.

"Sorry," he said as she steadied herself. She waved him off, saying it was okay and turned around to get her candle, trying to will her blush away. She didn't really notice it before but Toby was really strong. It was obvious that he should be though, being a fisherman and all.

Molly grabbed her candle and turned back towards Toby, standing next to the river. She observed the surface of the water, watching the small waves move along and the water lightly splashing against the edge of the land. Taking a step towards the river she tried not to think about how dark the water looked and instead tried to concentrate on the relaxing motion of it and the quietness of the night. Before she could even get close to the edge, however, Toby took the candle from her hand and bent over the water, sending them together.

Molly stared at his back while he stared at their candles, floating slowly down the river. Toby turned around, smiling a bit sadly. Molly looked up at him, her eyes questioning why.

"You're…afraid of water, aren't you?" he asked, straightforward.

She rubbed her arm, nervous all of a sudden. She's never told anyone about her fear before but he somehow figured it out on his own. "How did you know?" she asked.

Toby explained how he connected things after she almost drowned and how he wasn't sure but was convinced after seeing her constantly checking the water tonight. Molly didn't know what to say. She didn't want the rest of the villagers to know and she definitely didn't want to explain the reason why she was afraid, not even with Toby. She hadn't even told her mother….

Toby, realizing the conflict she was going through, gently laid his hand on her shoulder. "I won't tell anyone, and you don't have to tell me why. I can see that it's a big deal and that you might not be ready to talk about it, but…please know that I will listen to you. Always. No matter what. I'll be here to listen to you. If it's serious, if it's stupid, if you're worrying about something or if you're happy and want to share it with someone, I'm here. So, don't feel like you need to close yourself off."

Molly bit her lip. He was so nice, what was she supposed to say to that? Would a simple 'thank you' even suffice?

"Toby…," she said quietly, looking at the ground.

"Won't you look at me?" he asked and when Molly set her chin more firmly into her neck he reached over and lifted it with his hand. She didn't resist much and when they locked eyes her heart started pumping rapidly. She'd never been in this situation before but she knew from movies, from books and just from nature what kind of situation it was. She saw his eyes get so narrow that she could barely see the color of them but before she could make a decision on what to do he smiled and then moved his hand to ruffle her hair.

"Don't look so serious, you'd do the same for me, wouldn't you?" Toby asked, walking past her towards the others. "Should we head back now? It's getting late, everyone's leaving."

Molly tried to say yes but nothing came out so she cleared her throat and tried again, succeeding this time. She kept her head down as she walked up the hill and quickly waved farewell to those they met, following close behind Toby.

On their way home Toby seemed perfectly at ease, humming a bit as he walked along slowly, slightly ahead of her. She only looked at him twice the entire time to see what he was doing. If she had to be honest, this night was not what she expected it to be. Toby was usually very quiet, never prying much and always listening but tonight he was acting a lot less reserved than he normally did. Before, when they hung out it was comfortable and easygoing, she never had to worry about nerves or awkwardness, but now…

She didn't know if she liked it, it was a weird feeling. But she didn't want things to be awkward with Toby, she liked how it was before. How could one night change how they acted around each other so much? But it was mostly her, not him. He was fine, it was her that had the problem and she was the one that needed to fix it. But did she even need to fix it? She remembered what Angela had said, to just trust her gut and not over-analyze things. She didn't need to do anything right now. She straightened her shoulders, determined to not make things weird just because she was feeling something different than usual. Relationships between people change all of the time, so what was the big deal?

"Well, here you are," said Toby, stopping in front of the fence marking her property from the path.

Molly took a deep breath and smiled. "Thanks for tonight, Toby. It was nice. I really liked the festival. I know it was supposed to be a serious night but…to me it was just peaceful."

"And I think it's better that you felt that way. Our ancestors would want us to feel at peace while thinking of them, not depressed."

"Maybe. But…I've never lost anyone close to me before. I should've asked sooner but…are you okay?" Sometimes she forgot that Toby had lost his aunt, he was always so upbeat.

Toby laughed a little. "Yes, I'm fine. I'm at peace with my aunt's death now. I still miss her sometimes but…I'm alright now."

Molly looked up at him, his hair silver again in the moonlight. "You know…you can always talk to me too…if you ever feel like it."

Toby smiled and ducked his head. "Thanks, Molly. I know you mean that. Well, it's late, you must be tired, right? Come and see us soon. Sleep well."

Molly smiled back. Toby started to walk away and after a few yards she called out to him with a "thank you!"

He looked over his shoulder smiling and waved at her again. She waved and stood out there until she could no longer see him. She walked slowly up to her house and opened the door. When she walked in she saw Finn lying in the bed already asleep. She felt kind of guilty, not being able to spend as much time with him lately what with her family visiting and hanging out with her friends. But, from now on they were going to be working on the fields a lot more often and will make up for lost time.

It was hard, balancing her regular life with her farm life and not to mention her life with the Harvest Goddess and the Harvest Sprites. Speaking of which, she needed to get over to Marimba farm to get some corn milled. Soon, she would be able to ring the green bell and restore the wind's power as well. She felt guilty about forgetting how important the task of the bells were to the island. It seemed like ever since the drowning incident she'd been neglecting a lot of her duties. Deciding that starting tomorrow she was going to work harder at both her farm and the bells Molly went to bed, determined.

And while Molly went to bed determined, there were a few troubled boys trying, but failing, to fall asleep that night.