Chapter 30

The next weekend saw them in the carpet shops looking for suitable flooring for the nursery, and living room. The paint samples they had taken with them offered only marginal help, because they were too small to get a full picture of what they wanted. In the end they settled on neutral colours for the nursery and a patterned carpet in the lounge. The pattern was subtle rather than bold, and amazingly, both were satisfied with their choices.

They decided to use the fitters from the shop to lay the flooring and arranged for them to come the following Thursday.

Louisa was still wrestling with her problem and Martin was becoming more anxious as the days went by. He hated indecision and now felt that whatever was the outcome she would eventually wish she'd done the other thing. It took a huge amount out of him to stay quiet. Her three-month scan was due and he hoped that she would make a decision after seeing the pictures of that. The baby would be much clearer as a baby and not just something floating around inside her.

Pippa greeted Louisa as she went into the school. "Did you know the job description and application forms are up in the Staffroom, for the Headship?

"No, I went home immediately after the children left. We're having some redecoration done and I wanted to see how it had gone. I'll go there now and have a look." She went hastily to the room and took off her coat before walking over to the noticeboard.

A description of the expected role of head was posted alongside an application form. The Chair of Governors, Stu Mackenzie, was the person to whom the application should be sent. Scanning through the papers once more, Louisa saw that all applications had to be received by February 12th.

Despite thinking almost constantly of the position and what it would entail she was still uncertain as to whether or not to apply. Her childhood feelings of abandonment would get in the way of her thinking about the job. Would the baby feel abandoned if she took the job? If she didn't take it, what about her own ambitions to be the best she could be? Her thoughts continued to whirl. To hear Martin, talk about a succession of nannies, most of whom couldn't have cared less about him, she didn't want that for her child. If she set aside her own ambitions and found herself struggling to be a good mother, would she take it out on the baby? It seemed to her that there were pluses and minuses no matter which route she chose. Perhaps Martin was right, again. Write down the perceived problems/advantages and then make the decision.

She went slowly back to her classroom and tried to dismiss her thoughts so that she could concentrate on her class.

Martin conducted his surgery as he always did. Methodical, probing, analysing symptoms and then issuing his thoughts and prescriptions. The same set of symptoms would appear time after time and he would shake his head at the idiocy of people who couldn't do the simplest of tasks like washing their hands, or staying off the booze. He could perhaps, have been forgiven if he was a little curter, given the maelstrom flowing through him. He desperately wanted Louisa to stay at home and be the mother to his child and for it to have the love and attention he'd never had. He also acknowledged that if he'd been blocked at an earlier age from becoming a surgeon, or even a GP, that it would be a very difficult decision for him.

Friday afternoon saw them heading for Wadebridge and her next scan. Martin asked her how her day had been, and she replied abstractedly that it had been "Fine." He concentrated on his driving and left her to mull over her thoughts.

She walked over to Reception and announced her presence. "We're running about 10 minutes behind," she was informed. Louisa nodded and went back to Martin to explain to him, the delay.

They were eventually welcomed into Dr Lewis' room and after some general chit chat the appointment was commenced. Louisa was asked about her general health, and asked about any concerns.

She mentioned that occasionally she felt very tired, but realised that the baby was growing and taking nutrients from her. Dr Lewis told her that they would check various things including her blood. He called for Sandra Trelawny the practice nurse and asked her to prep Louisa for her scan.

Martin mentioned that he'd noticed Louisa was a little more tired, but he'd not noticed a big drop in her day-to-day activities. He was keen to see the scan, but asked that, if possible, they didn't want to know what sex the baby is. Dr Lewis nodded and then suggested they move to the adjoining room.

Louisa was once more on the table having gel smeared onto her abdomen. Martin went around to the rear of the table so that he could see the scan. He took hold of her hand as the picture developed. The picture showed what was now identifiable as a baby. It was waving its arms around and they could still see a heart beating. Martin felt Louisa squeeze his hand and looked down at her. She was biting her lip and he knew she was getting emotional. He pulled out his ever-present handkerchief and offered it to her. Gratefully she dabbed the tears away from her eyes.

Dr Lewis said that the baby appeared to be growing normally and was the expected size for that stage of pregnancy. They gratefully accepted copies of the picture he'd taken.

"Dr Lewis, when can I expect to feel it move?"

"Around about the 20 weeks mark, Louisa. Say about the end of March. At times the pregnancy will seem long to you, but I can assure you when you look back it will seem like a fleeting moment." Dr Lewis smiled at her, reassuringly.

Martin and he went back to the surgery and waited for Louisa to get dressed again before joining them.

"Nurse Trelawny has drawn blood samples and they will be sent off for testing. It will be a few days before I have the results. If anything shows up which is untoward, I will contact you. However otherwise you should assume that everything is fine."

Louisa nodded. "Thank you, Dr Lewis. Thank you too, for the pictures."

They went back to the car and made their way home.

As they entered the house Louisa said, "Can we talk for a while before we make tea?"

They took their coats off and went and sat in the lounge.

"Joanna's job is now being advertised, Martin. The application form is available."

"Have you decided to go for it, then?" he asked with the sinking feeling he knew what the answer would be.

She looked at him and saw his concern, but she knew he wouldn't block her from applying. Then she thought of the baby growing inside her and knew she couldn't do it. "Yes, I've decided, but I've decided to take my full maternity leave to look after the baby, first." The relief on his face was palpable.

"Are you sure? I mean, I know how much you wanted the job."

"Yes Martin, I'm sure. I'll return to teaching at the end of my leave and wait for another headship to turn up."

He stood up and pulled her to her feet. "That's a huge relief to me. I wanted the baby to have your full care because I know you will be a wonderful mother. I'll do what I can to help out so that you get some free time to yourself," he promised.

She put her arms around his waist and hugged him. "I'll hold you to that," she laughed. They kissed and then went to make tea.

On the following Tuesday Louisa got a phone call from Dr Lewis to say that she was a bit anaemic and that he would forward a prescription through to Martin for some iron tablets. Other than that, everything else looked fine.

She texted Martin to let him know and then went back to the rest of her day.

Picking up her prescription she called in to the chemist to get the tablets. Sally looked at it and sniffed before going to find the iron tablets. "Have you seen your doctor about this prescription. Louisa?"

Louisa gritted her teeth and said that she had. It was he who had sent the prescription. She knew Sally was careful about who she gave pills to, but all the same, she did feel as if it was an inquisition. Next time she'd go into Wadebridge to have a prescription filled. She took the tablets and asked for the money to be billed to their private account. She could have got them free as she was pregnant, but didn't want the village to find out yet.

After arriving at school, she read the instructions and took a tablet.

Meanwhile Martin was in a good mood. His patients could tell because he wasn't as blunt as he usually was when they'd failed to comply with his instructions. By 11:00 o'clock he was ready for his espresso. As he went into the kitchen, he saw Joan leaving some veg for them. "Hello, Auntie Joan. Thanks for these," he waved a hand over the veg. Looking at her he thought she looked a bit pale. "How are you today?"

"Getting over a cold. Left me with a sore throat and a mild headache. Yes, before you ask, I've taken some paracetamol and gargled with salt water."

Martin nodded. "Good." He checked over his shoulder to make sure that Pauline wasn't listening, and then told Joan about Louisa's decision to stay at home for the duration of her leave.

Joan's face lit up and she clasped her hands together and brought them to her chest. "That is good news, Martin. I can see you are pleased, also."

"Yes." Was all he said. "Her scans were normal, but she has slight anaemia. Iron tablets will help with that."

He would have said more, but the clip-clopping of Pauline's shoes heralded her arrival in the kitchen for her coffee.

"Morning Joan, have you seen Al on your travels? Didn't tell me where he was going today."

"Hello Pauline. No, I can't say I've seen either him or Bert come to that. If I see them, do you want me to tell them to get in touch?"

"No, thanks. I expect I'll find out tonight what trouble they've been in." She picked up her coffee and returned to her desk.

Martin remembered his manners and asked Joan "Would you like to come for tea on Saturday? I promise I'll do something other than fish, for you." His eyes sparkled at her.

"Yes please, Martin. Five p.m. suit you?"

They agreed itineraries and Joan left. Returning to the surgery Martin asked for the next patient, groaning inwardly when Malcolm Raynor stepped forward. "Go through" he indicated for Malcolm to precede him into the room.

"What seems to be the trouble, Mr Raynor?"

"It's me cough, Doc. It's not clearing up and I have a headache every day." Malcolm whinged about his miseries.

"Take off your jacket and open your shirt so I can listen to your chest." Martin instructed.

When Malcolm had done that, he placed the stethoscope onto his chest and listened.

"I've not felt really well.."

Martin shushed him and proceeded to listen to other places on Malcolm's chest. "Fasten your shirt, replace your jacket and sit there."

Malcolm did as he was told with a pained expression on his face. "What do you think, Doc? Will I need those strong antibi's?"

"Mr Raynor, did you take all the tablets I prescribed for you last time?

Malcolm screwed up his face and thought back. "Well Doc, I felt better after a week and didn't see the need to take all of them."

Martin grimaced. "I prescribed 10 days' worth of tablets because that's what was required to kill the infection. Your not taking all of them means that I now have to prescribe a different antibiotic for a longer period of time. Tell me, have you got rid of all your pigeons, yet?"

Malcolm said sorry and admitted he'd kept a couple of his favourite birds as he couldn't bear to part with them.

"Mr Raynor, you have 'pigeon-fanciers lung' which means that if you continue to be around birds, you will become seriously ill. How many times do I have to explain this to you? Do you want to be that ill?" Martin was exasperated and inclined to tell Malcolm to just, sod off. He restrained himself, with an effort.

"Well Doc, you don't know what those birds mean to me. They're all I have since the missus left.."

Martin picked up his pen and wrote out a new prescription. "I advise you to find another companion. Why don't you ask someone at the pub for a date? Take this to Mrs Tishell and have her fill it out for you. Remember you must take all of them in the indicated time. Understand?"

Malcolm nodded and took the form. "Thanks, Doc." He left the room and Martin muttered "Why do I bother?"

That evening Martin wrote out the remaining patient notes, leaving them on Pauline's desk for her to file the next morning. He thought back to Louisa's decision and a feeling of happiness washed over him again. He knew that just because she stayed at home, it didn't necessarily mean the baby would turn out to have a happier childhood than he had, but surely it was a step in the right direction?