Chapter 42

The following Monday saw Louisa on her half-term break. The school had said goodbye to Joanna, the old headmistress and welcomed a new headmaster, Andrew Wallace. He would be joining them before the Easter holidays, having given his notice in already at his current school.

Martin was at work, so Louisa decided she would pay another visit to the Large's and was soon going into the restaurant. "Morning Al," she called out.

Al came out from the kitchen, "Oh morning Louiser. I'm just about to start getting' ready for the lunch customers. Come through."

When she got through into the kitchen, there was Bert, perched on a stool peeling potatoes. "Mornin' Louiser. You get prettier every day," he complimented her. "I remember when my Mary was pregnant with Al. She was just the same."

"Thank you, Bert. I must say I didn't expect to see you back at work. Does Martin know?"

"Well, it's not as if I'm flying around, now, is it? Just sat here peeling taters. I'm takin' it steady, like. Doc don't need to worry 'bout me."

"How's business, anyway, Al?"

"Pretty good at the moment, given that tourists are quite scarce on the ground, Louiser. We're shut by 5:00p.m. but enough locals are coming in. Speaking of which, are you staying for lunch?"

"Sorry Al, I promised Martin I'd be home for lunch. Another time, perhaps? I'll say bye for now. I've got to go to the shops and then drop in to Mrs Tishell's."

On that note, she left the restaurant and headed over to the supermarket. She stocked up on chicken fillets, flour, spaghetti, fruit and a few spices. Moving along to the fishmonger she bought some fillets of cod, tuna and Martin's favourite - monkfish.

Finally, she made her way to Mrs Tishell's for a new head to her toothbrush, and some moisturiser. Mrs Poustie was ahead of her in the queue, but she soon had her prescription filled and said goodbye to all before she left.

"Good morning, Louisa, and how are you today? I've not seen our good Doctor of late, I hope he's well?"

Somehow Mrs Tishell always seemed to set Louisa's teeth on edge. "Hello Mrs Tishell. I'm fine, glad to be off for the week, thank you. Martin's OK."

"What can I do for you today?"

"I'll have a new head for my electric toothbrush, please, and some of my usual moisturiser. Would you put it on Martin's personal account?"

Mrs Tishell scurried about getting the requisite items before placing them on the counter. "I have the latest edition of the MHRA and wondered if Dr Ellingham would like to discuss some of the articles with me? At a convenient time, of course."

"Sorry, Mrs Tishell, I've no idea what Martin's schedule will be for the rest of the week. I'll mention it to him though. Thanks for these, I must get home." She picked up her goods and left the shop, shuddering as she did so. Grrr, that woman, thought Louisa.

She entered the kitchen, removed her coat and then put her shopping away. She then vacuumed the lounge and went upstairs to clean the bathroom. A short time later she decided to go down and make some cheese toasties for Martin's lunch.

A short time later Martin entered the kitchen sniffing appreciatively at the welcome smell of the toasties. "Louisa," he said in his slightly breathless manner whenever he was greeting her.

"Hello Martin. I've made the toasties for lunch. Thought it would be a welcome change for you not to have to make your own."

"Yes, thank you." He washed his hands and then sat down. "How was your morning?"

"I went across and saw Bert. He was up and about and generally seemed fitter. He's obviously lost weight and was sat at the bench peeling potatoes."

"It's good, if he really has lost weight. Keeping himself occupied is also a good thing. He will focus on getting better and will subsequently heal a little quicker, than if he lay about and did nothing."

"Oh, I called at Mrs Tishell's for some things and she told me she has the latest MHRA, should you be free to discuss some articles with her?"

Martin looked horrified. "You didn't agree to that did you?"

Louisa took pity on him. "Don't worry, I said I didn't know what your schedule was."

Martin's relief was almost palpable. "Good. Good."

Louisa asked him what time he thought he would be finished?

"Well, if an emergency doesn't crop up, I'll be finished by 5:00p.m. Why?"

"Just so I know when to have dinner ready. I'm going to read for a bit and probably have a nap. I've felt a bit tired this last week or so."

"You know you don't have to work, if it's making you too tired. I can easily…"

"Martin, don't go there. You know my feelings about being a kept woman. It was a big decision for me to agree to stay home after the birth." Louisa was adamant she wouldn't be dependent totally on him.

He couldn't understand why she wouldn't let him care for her the way he wanted to. It was sometimes the cause of a few mini-rows between them.

"Martin, if you broke your leg and couldn't work, what would you feel like? Would you be happy to let me look after you entirely? That would only be for 6 weeks at the most."

"But it's my place to ensure my family is getting the best care possible. I don't understand, Louisa."

"That doesn't answer my question, Martin. What would you feel like?"

"Hmf." Was the only answer she got.

He quickly kissed her goodbye and went back to work.

She smiled and began the washing up. As she did so the thoughts about why she couldn't let him look after her began to whirl around. She thought back to her parents. Eleanor and Terry Glasson. She supposed that at that time they got married because "living in sin" was still looked down on. The two should never have been married in the first place. Eleanor was a woman who liked to be among many people and loved partying. Responsibility was not something she wanted and disliked the fact that after Louisa was born, she'd had it thrust upon her. Terry was the archetypal "go with the flow" sort of man. He didn't last in a job for long and money was often tight. When he did have money his first thought was going to the pub, leaving Eleanor behind to look after Louisa.

Without any money of her own, Eleanor felt trapped and often took it out on Terry with furious rows. Louisa learned to get out of the way and go to her bedroom to read. When she was young and at school, she supposed that the rows would go on for a while. Often when she came home the tension in the house was very evident. When Terry had a job, though, things were different because then he could afford to take Eleanor with him, or the family on days out.

Louisa realised that she didn't want to rely on anyone but herself. In many respects she was tarring Martin with the same brush as Terry.

Eventually, Eleanor just left, abandoning the family for a lover in Spain. Louisa was only 12. True, it meant that she was in the sole charge of Terry, but he did stay home more. Money was always scarce, and bread and butter was often the tea of choice.

Louisa knew that it was the idea there was no-one there to support her, except herself, which was the root of her intransigence concerning being "kept." Independence was engrained into her. Could she overcome that, and let herself trust Martin? That was what it boiled down to. Could she really trust him?

Martin worked for the remaining part of the afternoon. Between patients he pondered on Louisa's reluctance to accept his offer of totally looking after her. Why did she want to keep some of her independence? To some extent he felt he was being rejected. He knew he loved her completely and wouldn't ever leave her. Why didn't she understand that? As far as he was concerned, they were equal partners in their marriage. She could do some things better than he could, just as the reverse was true. He didn't think she was inferior to him just because he earned more than she did. He was glad to see the back of his last patient and quickly filled in the notes on the patient's file before tidying around.

Going back into the kitchen he saw Louisa making their dinner and washed his hands in preparation to help. "You sit down, Martin. It won't be long."

"Did you manage to get a nap, Louisa?"

"Yes, about an hour or so. I also managed to finish my book and as I haven't any more to read, I'll pop to the library tomorrow and have a good browse around." As she spoke, she served the food and they sat quietly down to eat it. Martin preferred not to eat and talk at the same time. He got up to remove the dishes and make the drinks. Louisa went and sat back down on the couch as he brought her cup of tea over. She saw he'd opted for water.

She sipped her tea while he began the washing up, "Martin.." "Louisa.." They both commenced speaking at the same time.

He waved his hand, covered in soap bubbles at her, "You first."

"I was going to try and explain why I feel the way that I do about being totally dependent upon you," she began. She told him about her mother leaving and how her father tried to do his best, but often failed. She mentioned that she'd often gone hungry and had done without things which she needed, even clothes. She'd resolved at a very young age not to be dependent upon anyone, in case she had to start all over again.

Martin looked devastated at these revelations. He'd known that Eleanor had left her at a young age, but he'd not known the full implications of that act. He dried his hands and crossed the lounge to sit beside her. "I'm sorry Louisa, I didn't realise the hardships you endured. I can see it's left a big impression on you and I hope that in time you will know that I will never leave you."

She looked up at him with teary eyes, "I should be apologising to you for not seeming to trust you as a wife should trust her husband."

He pulled her over onto his lap and held her while she cried. "Sh, sh, sh." He let her cry for a while and then said, "come on, dry those eyes. Or Penhale will be here shortly to accuse me of being a monster in charge of a pregnant wife.."

She hiccoughed and began to giggle, albeit with a bit of a snuffle. Eventually she got back her composure and leaned against him, listening to his heartbeat, which as ever, was very soothing.

"What were you going to say, Martin?"

"I was going to tell you that I regard it as my right and privilege, to look after my wife and family to the best of my ability. I'm not sure I can explain it any better than that. I see it as the man's job to do that and I see the woman's role as being equal to that. I don't think any the less of you because you don't earn as much as I do, that's just one of life's oddities. I think teachers are as necessary as doctors and so we are equal. Do you think I'm too old-fashioned and a fuddy-duddy?"

"No, not really. We are from different families and our expectations of life have been formed in milieux totally different from one another. She looked up at him and the impish smile peeped out, "I can vouch for the fact that in certain areas you are neither old-fashioned nor a fuddy-duddy!"

He grinned and hugged her tightly. "Glad to be useful at something."

"Oh Martin, I love you."

After realising that another hurdle had been partially demolished, they got up and Martin went back to the surgery to work with his clocks. Louisa put on the TV and watched a documentary, but wasn't paying that much attention to it as she mulled over what had been said.

Later on, they went to bed with Louisa proving to Martin that he wasn't in the least, a fuddy-duddy.