Queen's Favor

Chapter 6

In the end, she made it through the night without being smothered to death by a cat, even though she accidentally fell asleep on the couch at some point. The sound of the door clicking open stirred her awake, and she shot up from where she'd sprawled out on the couch with enough speed that it was for the best Elizabeth hadn't decided to climb on her in the night.

"M'awake! I was on break!"

The blonde, bespectacled woman standing in the doorway blinked owlishly at her. That. Wasn't the owner of the penthouse.

Ah. And she also wasn't on break. As the fog and disorientation of the morning faded from her mind, knowledge of where she was (and why) drifted back to her. She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and shook her head. "...Sorry...force of habit."

The look on the woman's face spoke of assumptions she really should clear up. She was, however, much too groggy for that.

Tomorrow. She'd explain it tomorrow.

Most of the instructions were pedantic, some were ridiculous, and a few of them were patently impossible. Thus, she treated Elizabeth the way she'd treated just about any other cat. As she did all the time, really, sans shooing. So far, she hadn't gotten any complaints from the cat, so she considered her job done well so far. Barring some lonely nights - maybe she'd leave the TV on or something, and definitely use the guest bed this time - it wouldn't be terrible to get paid five times the ludicrous amount she was already paid for a three day stint playing with a cat and not worrying about the cat hair.

She stretched as she looked out the window. Dawn barely colored the horizon that showed nary a bump from the other buildings in the city from the height of the penthouse. Whatever schedule he had for her replacement, she couldn't help wondering if the unusually early hour was some kind of slight against her, like a pre-emptive assumption her peasant-self would ruin the place living in it.

Well. She was a maid, not a peasant.

And this maid was definitely going to take advantage of the shower she'd cleaned so many times. Not the master one, as the blonde had (foolishly) decided to start off in the master bedroom, and first impressions had already built enough unpleasant assumptions without adding to them. In the end, though, it didn't really matter. The guest bathroom might have looked slightly less extra, but the shower and various soaps inside worked just as well.

She'd never experienced luxury in the form of a shower before. These days left watching the penthouse might just ruin her for ordinary, normal showers that rained down hard droplets of water on her and expected her to move around to clean herself.

No, but really. The shower gave her a massage. From every direction. And it sprayed a rainbow all around her for no other reason than to be pretty while it did it.

She'd never experienced anything that made her feel so much like a pleb while also making her feel so good before. It had been a mistake to miss out on using this shower her first day.

Stepping out of the shower, she couldn't help the odd urge to want to wave it farewell. Or maybe to take a glass of wine. She did neither, though, because the first important thing...was that she hadn't slept in the guest bedroom as she'd planned, so she didn't get the chance to grab a change of clothes from her bag of supplies before jumping into the shower.

Oh well. She sighed and wrapped a very oversized, downright ridiculously soft towel around herself and gave a little twirl in the full length, angled mirror in the bathroom. Honestly, it was thick and heavy enough to be an outfit itself if she just got a pin or something else more permanent to keep it from slipping through the day playing with Elizabeth. And besides that, maids have seen way more harrowing things than their female coworker in a towel. Even if her replacement happened to be in her neck of the penthouse, it wouldn't be a problem.

She did make extra sure her feet were dry before leaving the room, though. Even if it wasn't her responsibility right now, she couldn't bear tracking wet footprints across floors as expensive as these. Or the rug she'd grown fond of.

She stretched, popping her back a bit, as she made her way across the still quiet penthouse. Dawn colored the front room an apricot pink as the sun finally began to shake off its night-time grogginess, and she took a moment to appreciate the rare view. Normally when she showed up here, it was long after the owner had gone off to work - and thus, naturally past sunrise.

"What a waste, having the couch pointed away from the window."

The rattling of the front door cut through her thoughts, and she spun on her heel, hand immediately going to her chest. 'No, I'm not wandering your penthouse naked. That's not what I do normally. Normal people don't do that, and I am a normal person. You don't have secret cameras set up so you could plan this, right?' No, strike that. That last bit didn't need to be there if the owner of-

Oh.

A young brunette popped her head into the penthouse - gaze quickly scanning for the owner, likely, before falling on her. "Oh! Hey." It was Mina. One of the more seasoned workers in the definitely-not-a-company she, an independent contractor, definitely didn't work for.

Early maid service and two? Now, come on. Just what did that Mr. Han think of her?!

"Are you training the other girl? She got here about an hour ago." Admittedly, if the girl still hadn't left that bedroom after an hour, she probably needed the training. Were she actually working on a timer, that kind of a slow pace wouldn't work out for her at all.

Mina frowned in confusion, lips pursed. "Other girl? I wasn't told about anyone like that."

Wait...

what?

Mina didn't seem to be joking, looking genuinely bewildered. But there was definitely a girl who came in earlier. And that girl definitely hadn't left the master bedroom yet.

Cold dread seeped through the pleasant warmth left from the shower's magical watery fingers. No sounds came from that room. That room which had a whole treasury of valuables not all that well hidden away and a safe with...who-knew-what in it. She broke out into a run - a mad dash - toward the bedroom.

Okay, so in fairness, she was taking care of the cat, not the family jewels or whatever he stored away in there. But she sure as hell wouldn't be getting a positive recc for her next job if she let her boss get robbed while she was right there. Even if the jewel thief probably wouldn't do anything to Elizabeth.

She crashed through the bedroom door, skidding on the floor.

The maid froze, sitting on her knees on the bed. Biting Elizabeth's ear.

really?

Adrenaline pumped harder than her heart in her ears. It was, maybe, a calculated risk to take, but...she charged.

"Oh no!" The 'maid' shrieked and, fortunately, dropped the cat (who skittered immediately off of the bed and away from her attacker) a few moments before her body collided with the bespectacled cat-napper. For a few moments, the world blurred. Blonde hair flew through the air, limbs tangled and spun, and she landed quite unpleasantly on the cold, hard floor of the bedroom. With another spectacular crash.

All the pains that the shower had hushed away rose up in a familiar, angry chorus.

The 'maid', now bereft of her blonde wig and with her (actually now that she thought about it, totally out of place) dress askew, was very clearly that same red-haired man from before. The very reason she was so sore now. Again. The hands at his arms gripped with renewed strength. And a bit of anger.

"You."

He blinked down at her a moment, as if he didn't actually recognize her - a fact she'd be less offended by if she weren't currently in pain and being crushed by his bony knee and arm right then - before his eyes widened. "Ninja maid! I didn't recognize you without any clothes on!"

A man in a disguise had no place to say something like that.

Also...right. She did forget about the towel thing there in the heat of the moment. The reminder caused her cheeks to heat and more than a few indignant squawks to escape her throat.

"Hey...don't take this the wrong way, but-" His hand snapped down to yank at her carefully tied knot, undoing the precariously positioned towel. Instinctively, her hands flew up to the knot.

Clearly according to plan, the man immediately took advantage of his new freedom by shooting off of her...and in the direction the cat had run off toward.

Sly.

Very sly.

As incompetent as he appeared to be at first glance (and...second), he'd come up with a strategy pretty quickly there, leaving a poor, innocent girl like her to choose between preserving her modesty and preserving the source of her money.

Honestly, it wasn't even a choice.

The wet towel wrapped around his ankle in a way she wanted to attribute to watching many a martial arts movie to, but was probably just blind luck. The fact that it actually succeeded in causing him to crash face-first into the ground probably had more to do with his attempt to run in killer stilettos than any kind of skill on her part, though.

As if she'd let a little thing like modesty stand in the way of her and another day with that shower.

She felt pretty awesome though, standing over his sprawled out form, gripping the twisted towel in both of her hands. Sort of like the ninja maid he'd characterized her as. For all of two seconds, before she remembered the nakedness. True, his face hadn't even attempted to move from staring at the immaculate floorboards underneath him, but even if Mina hadn't run out of the penthouse from the first scream (she definitely had), a situation like this could turn sour really, really quickly.

"If you even try to look, I'll tie you down and choke you to death on Elizabeth's stray hairs."

...Okay...so mental note: don't go with the first threat that comes to mind in the future.

"I-I mean, that isn't really a dealbreaker, but I won't move!" He honestly sounded a little condescending that time. Which was impressive, with his face pressed into the ground and his maid dress shucked up to show off...space shuttle underwear. "I'm not a pervert!"

"...Right."

"That's hurtful."

All of her clothes were on the other side of the building. Any attempt to get them would just mean his escape, but if she stayed put, even if Mina did call the security guards...she'd be the talk of the entire complex, being caught naked in the owner's bedroom, pinning down a man in a maid dress with her foot.

She sighed, releasing one end of the towel. Her foot remained planted very firmly on the back of his head, though, so if he tried anything...at least she'd break his glasses in the process of being bowled over. Given that he'd dressed kind of like a hobo last time she'd seen him, that might mean he couldn't afford just to replace them casually enough to try anything under those circumstances.

Anyway, she quickly redid the knot on the towel, and moved back a step, just to keep any wayward glances away. "If you go for the cat again, I know exactly where the taser is in this room, and I will not turn it off until the guards arrive." There. Better.

"...Geez. I didn't expect the villain to hire a prison guard for Elly while he was gone." He said that to the floor. Apparently he was still taking her earlier threat seriously? Or maybe he just wanted to stay put.

She walked around him, so that if he did try to make another dash after all he'd have to get through her first, and squatted-no, knelt. Must be mindful. She knelt down in front of him, watching him with an incredulous look. "You know that you can just buy your own cat, right?"

"ELLY ISN'T JUST ANY CAT!" His face shot up - as if he just knew it was safe to do so then. Or he was so passionate about the damn cat that he didn't mind risking his own death. "WHAT WE HAVE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL. I can't just replace her like that! And also, I'm not allowed to own a cat."

"I wonder why."

Okay, but really. Elizabeth the 3rd was a beautiful, friendly cat with an uncanny intelligence and a secret sadistic streak both wide and deep enough to drown a man in. But two men both seemed convinced she was literally a princess. In their own...special...ways. What she wouldn't give to have a couple of (moderately attractive, if she had to admit it) men so obsessed with her.

His lips pressed into a frown as he pushed himself up from the floor, mimicking her position. She tensed, ready to move if he sprung into action again. "It's not fair if he went and left her with a protector."

She squinted at him. "'Protector'? Didn't you say something about saving her?"

He pushed up his glasses, the lenses reflecting the dim light of the room, from where dawn filtered in through the open door. "Of course! I'm Hero Seven! Here to liberate the fair princess Elly from her evil captor." He leaned in a bit and winked. "You're the stoic but wily guard determined to keep her captive while the overlord is away."

"...So you're a crazy person."

He clutched his chest over the crumpled dress. "Ow."

She sighed and stood up, crossing her arms. "Look here, 'Hero'. This gig is really, really well paying, so I don't care if you're actually this eccentric owner's friend somehow. If you go for that cat one more time this weekend, I'm calling the cops and you can stay in jail until he comes home and bails you out."

He winced. "So harsh. Is the money truly worth such cruel behavior towa-"

"The only cruelty is your animal cruelty."

"Your words hurt more than your ninja attacks!"

"Anyway." She waved her hand, just...cutting through that nonsense. "You probably spooked Mina so hard she ran away and didn't call anyone. Since I now have to do a bunch of cleaning instead of her - that I'm not getting paid for - I don't have time to deal with the guards or calling up Mr. Han to explain to him that you broke in again. Get out of here and don't come back while I'm here and I'll let this one go."

He shot up, hands reaching for her shoulders. For just a moment, her heart skipped a beat in panic, hands moving up to grip his wrists in defense. Instead of some kind of crazed or aggressive expression, though, what looked disturbingly like genuine tears shone in his eyes. "Ah! So you are a ninja with a heart! I owe you my life! As will Princess Elly, one day!"

He provided her no opportunity to respond, turning and sprinting out of the room. Only the fact that he glanced over his shoulder, waved and gave a little "Another time~!" kept her from chasing after him - just in case.

The door slammed shut a few moments later, and a slightly frazzled cat peeked her head into the doorway.

She planted one hand on her hip, and with the other she pointed as sternly as she could manage down at the little terror. "...You're going to get me killed, aren't you?"

Elizabeth mewed.