Chapter 55

Louisa arrived home and thankfully sank into a chair. She put her bags down next to it and reclined with her eyes shut. She only stayed like that for a few minutes and then roused herself to put her bags away properly and put the kettle on. Unluckily for her, the Year Fives had been even more boisterous than last week, not less. It had taken a lot of effort on her part to keep them in check and concentrated on their work.

When Martin came in, he saw her sat at the table looking very tired. It made him revise what he was going to tell her of his own day and concentrate on getting the meal ready instead.

Louisa looked up at him and gave him a wan smile. "I'm going to lay down for a while, wake me in an hour, please?"

He acquiesced and watched her go slowly up the stairs. Whilst he admired her determination to be a good teacher, he was equally annoyed that she was running herself ragged. Especially now. Tutting to himself he set about making the meal.

After an hour he went up to wake her and smiled to see her fully clothed, but under the sheet. He went and sat beside her, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "Come on Sleeping Beauty, time to wake up," he announced.

Louisa groaned and opened her eyes. "It can't be an hour, surely? I've only been asleep for a few minutes!" she protested.

"It has, and what's more, tea is on the table. Move yourself, or it will get cold." He left her to rouse herself properly and went back downstairs.

Louisa came down and sat at the table. She waved her hand over the food, "Thanks for doing this, Martin. I've had an exhausting time with my class today. They were hellbent on doing their own thing instead of what I wanted them to do!" she grumbled.

"Why not take some time off, have a rest and then return when you're ready?"

Louisa turned shocked eyes upon him, "I can't do that! We are already short-handed, and my being absent would just add to the load, everyone is carrying!"

"Please Louisa, I'm only thinking of you and the baby. The school will cope without you, but I won't." Martin looked worriedly at her and she felt guilty at upsetting him, when she knew his job was already tough enough, without her moaning. Especially as she'd taken it on herself, to work full time.

She looked at him, trying to prepare words which she knew would not appease him at all. As she looked, she saw an expression cross his face and realised that it wasn't her he was upset about. Getting up, she went around the table, towards him. She put her arms around his shoulders and said, "What happened, Martin?"

"I can't discuss my…"

"In broad terms, Martin. Not names and details."

"I had a patient die this morning. I told another that she may have cancer."

She felt him shaking and hugged him tighter. Carefully she sank to her knees and leaned into him. Eventually he grew still.

"I'm alright now," he said quietly.

Louisa pulled her head back to look into his face. She knew he was anything but alright, and furthermore she wouldn't get anything else from him about his day.

She nodded. "Will you help me up, please?"

He put and arm around her shoulder and assisted her to her feet. She resumed her place and finished the meal. Martin merely picked at his, while shuffling most of it around his plate. Eventually he gave up and threw the remainder in the bin.

"I'll wash up Martin. Go to your study and I'll bring you a cup of tea when I'm done."

Her commanding voice alerted him that she would not tolerate an argument. Getting up he dropped a kiss on her forehead and went off to the surgery.

When she went in with his tea, she found him with his head in his hands. Putting the mug down she sat opposite him. "Want to talk about your feelings?"

"No, I bloo…, no Louisa, I don't." Martin stared at her, willing her to go away and leave him alone.

"When I'm upset, it helps me to know that you are there for me, when I need you. Or that someone is willing to listen to me. I know I can't solve anything medical, but I can listen as you talk."

"I..I don't talk, as you well know."

"Perhaps you should start, Martin. Locking everything up inside you is not good. If it was a patient with similar traumatic experiences, wouldn't you tell them to seek counselling?" she looked at him, seeing the frightened boy rather than the competent doctor she knew him to be.

Returning her gaze, he marvelled yet again, that someone as strong and beautiful as her should want to be with a pathetic man like himself. He silently shook his head as she sighed, and watched her, as she left the room.

She went back into the lounge to start marking the children's books. Half an hour later she heard the front door slam and went to see what was happening. Martin wasn't in his study, and she'd not seen him go upstairs, therefore he must have gone out.

She looked at the time and decided to do another half-hour or so's work and then call it a day. The time stole on and there'd been no word from Martin. Usually he said, if he'd been called out, or was going to Joan's. Another hour went by and now she was really beginning to worry. She went out on the terrace and saw his car, still parked there. Where on earth had he got to? She walked up and down, peering into the darkness but couldn't discern any movement at all.

"I'll have a cuppa, and if he's not back, I'll call Joe Penhale. Perhaps he knows something." She suited her words to actions and sat back down with her drink.

Just as she finished her drink, she heard the front door opening again. She got up quickly and went to see who it was. Martin stood there, as if he didn't know where he was. To see him like that caused the angry words she was about to spill, stick in her throat. "Do you want a drink, or go to bed?" she asked him.

Wide eyed he croaked, "bed," and went upstairs.

She locked up downstairs, washed her cup and then followed him up there. When she looked in the bedroom he was just sat on the edge of the bed. He'd made no attempt to undress. She stroked his hair and then began to unbutton his jacket. He just looked through her as she went about taking his clothes off. Eventually she had him under the covers and left to make herself ready for bed. When she returned, he was laid on his back just looking at the ceiling. Still, he hadn't said anything.

"Put your arm around me, Martin." When he complied, she snuggled herself in closer to him and just lay there with him. Eventually his even breathing told her he was asleep. She drifted off herself, still wrapped around him.

Three hours later he woke up feeling far too hot and then worked out that Louisa was cuddling into him as though he were her own blanket. He managed to extricate his arm from under her, but had no success getting her off him. Eventually he had to rouse her. "Louisa, Louisa. Move over love, I need to go to the bathroom."

Groggily she complied and he left the bed. She was much more awake when he came back. "Are you OK?" she asked him.

"Yes."

"Where did you go? I was worried."

"Went round to the garden shed. I had my pen torch with me, so I could see the way. There's a seat in there and I just wanted to sit quietly and mull a few things over. I didn't realise how long I'd been in there.

"Oh. Did you come to any conclusions?" Louisa asked him.

"Yes, I'm the luckiest man alive, being married to you." He then rolled over towards her and began to embrace her.

She decided to "go-with-the-flow" and responded ardently. Post mortems could wait until the morning.