Chapter 69
Martin made the Indonesian chicken dish, accompanied with white rice. Once she had tasted it Louisa was very much in favour of having it again at some point. "Perhaps this is something I could do when I'm on my maternity leave, Martin?"
"What, eating Indonesian chicken all day?" He smiled.
"No, dopey. Learn to cook! I've never had the time, before, nor the money for loads of ingredients. Would you teach me? Pleeease?"
"At the risk of eating burnt, overcooked food for the next two years? Perhaps!" he was openly laughing at her.
Her eyes narrowed and she fixed him with a pointed stare. "Well, it may be that I'll have to resort to threats, but personally I've always found bribes to be more effective…. If you catch my drift?"
It was Martin's turn to look thoughtful. "Difficult to see what bribes you might be offering and what would constitute an effective threat. Hmm."
She smiled demurely. "Your choice Martin, once or five times a week assuming I'm fit, and assuming you're not called out?"
His eyes widened and he thought of the benefits of what he was being offered. Being an honest and open man, the alternatives didn't really occur to him so he plumped for five times a week.
"Great! Thank you, Martin. I'll look forward to your showing me how to cook dinner, five nights a week." She looked at him with a serious visage. She never knew how she kept the straight face, for so long, but the comical expression on his face finally undid her and she almost fell off her chair, laughing.
"You tricked me!" he spluttered.
"Oh, and how did I do that, Martin. Hmm? I'm not responsible for your thought processes, although now you mention it, perhaps I can discern the direction in which they were headed." She smiled provocatively at him.
Eventually he had the grace to admit his thoughts hadn't been on cooking at all. "Alright. I'll teach you to cook. At least it will mean something delicious to eat, instead of baked beans on toast!"
"Thank you, Martin. I knew I could rely on you. As a concession, once a week for cooking will probably be as much as we could do anyway, with Junior to think about."
Their thoughts turned to the next day and what to do touring around.
The following morning they got up early and readied themselves for the bus trip around the island roads. As they bounced out of Hugh Town Martin looked across at her and marvelled at her vivacity and sheer joy in living. He wished he had the fortitude to express his feelings as easily as she did. At that moment Louisa turned and looked at him. Her hand reached out to cover his as she mouthed "I love you" to him.
He squeezed her hand in return. As the bus meandered around the roads, various signs and landmarks caught their eyes. They watched other passengers getting on and off the bus at regular intervals as they decided where they might wander to.
Coming out of the airport, where the bus picked up more incoming travellers, Martin and Louisa got off the bus in the Old Town. Walking along in the sunshine they spotted several cafes before deciding upon the Tolman Café. Louisa wanted tea, whilst Martin had a black coffee.
They chatted about what sights they wished to see and decided to walk back to Hugh Town, before going around the Garrison Walls, which were on the peninsula. They were surprised when the walk to the Walls only took them half-an-hour. They'd not gone particularly quickly, but it showed them that the island was not as big as they'd assumed.
They entered the grounds of the Garrison through the archway, which was decorated by a bell at the highest point of the arch. They had an information leaflet explaining the various areas encompassed and a brief explanation of the dates of construction. The walls were first begun in 1588 as the threat from invasion by Spain was still considered a real danger. Further extensions were added in the 1640's, 1715 – 1742 and the Batteries were added in 1898 – 1901. The gun emplacements were plentiful and it was obvious how well the island had been defended.
They walked around the perimeter walls as far as they could, and the views of some of the other islands were spectacular. To the north Samson, Tresco and Bryher, whilst to the south St Agnes Isle and some of the smaller islands were also visible. Louisa took pictures, but wasn't sure if the islands would show up as well as they did, looking at them now.
Viewing the Star Castle, which was now converted to a hotel, the leaflet gave a description of the Castle as it was originally built.
All in all they were pleased with their excursion and with a last look around, made their way out of the Garrison and down into the town. Slowly they strolled back to their apartment.
They discussed the various things they'd seen with Martin explaining the term "curtain wall" used about the perimeter walls. "A curtain wall is one which is built between towers or other walls, but it does not carry a load, such as a roof. It encloses the space and provides protection."
Arriving back at the apartment, Louisa declared her intention of having a nap before dinner, but Martin declined to join her, saying that he didn't want to get used to it during the day. "It could affect my ability to see patients, Louisa. Once in a while, perhaps, but it must not become a habit. I'll prepare the veg for our meal. Go on, you go and lay down."
She went off and Martin checked the cupboards and fridge to decide upon their meal. Grilled mackerel with a side salad, he thought. He knew it wouldn't take long so delayed making the salad, but prepared the fish and left it in the fridge.
The day was still warm and the garden beckoned. He quietly opened the patio doors and stepped outside. There were several seats as well as a table and chairs. The smell of the flowers and some new-mown grass evoked a memory from his childhood. The incumbent Nanny had let him out to play in their garden and he'd had a lot of fun digging in the flower beds looking for worms. He'd have been about 4 at the time. Naturally he'd become dishevelled, with soil dirtying his hands and the front of his shirt.
The horrified shout of "Martin! What have you been doing?" belonged to his mother. She had returned early from her afternoon outing and caught him playing with soil. She'd grabbed his arm and dragged him to the little cupboard under the stairs, where she threw him in and told him "Just wait until your father gets home!" before shutting and locking the door. He'd begun crying as she'd hauled him along, but even his piteous cries of "No Mummy, I'll be good," had been ignored as he once again found himself alone in the dark.
He sobbed to himself as the dread of his father's appearance built up. Tea-time went past and no-one came to let him out, or even to feed him. Eventually the inevitable happened, and he wet himself. This caused an even greater fear to build up, as he knew his father despised his inability to avoid his enuresis.
Eventually the sound of the front door opening and closing heralded his father's homecoming. Martin heard the footsteps going past the cupboard and then into the lounge. "How have you been, Margaret?" he heard his father say.
His mother's reply had been muffled, but then he heard his name being said and the litany of his so-called sins.
Heavy footsteps came up to the cupboard door which was flung open and he was yanked out. "Just look at yourself, Martin! You're filthy, and what's that smell? Have you wet yourself again?" The rhetorical questions were bombarded at him. As he was being dragged upstairs his father's hand connected with his backside a few times.
Martin sobbed harder, to no avail. In fact his crying seemed to exacerbate the situation. By this time the Nanny had gone home and so it was left to Christopher to roughly undress him and sponge him off, which was done none too gently. He was put into his pyjamas and ordered to bed. The door closed behind his father and he was left alone again, crying because of his treatment and the fact he'd not eaten or drunk anything since lunch time.
The shrill tutting of a blackbird recalled Martin to the present day. He unclenched his fists and turned to sit in one of the chairs. He took a while to calm down from the memory and then wondered if the incident had been the start of his dislike of getting his hands dirty, or infested with bacteria? He vowed that he would never treat a child of his, like that.
Looking at his watch he saw that Louisa had been napping for more than an hour and that it was time to go and wake her.
"Louisa, Louisa. Time to get up, love." He looked at her as she awoke from her nap. Her face serene and beautiful. His heart was gladdened at her smile when she looked at him.
"I'm going to put the meal in to cook now. Get up and it will be ready when you come down." He promised.
The salad was made as the mackerel was grilling in the cooker. A pot of tea was being put on the table as Louisa appeared.
Going over to him she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him. Then she felt the tremors going through him. Leaning her head back she looked and saw that he was upset. "What's wrong Martin? Has something happened?"
He held her tightly and told her that a memory had intruded upon him when he was in the garden. He told her of the incident but then proceeded to dismiss it as being of no consequence. "Have a seat and I'll dish up," he told her.
She looked at him and knew he needed time to recover his equanimity, so seated herself at the table and waited to be served. She complimented him on the meal and informed him that she'd enjoyed it.
"Mackerel is a good source of vitamins and rich in oils. It is recommended that we eat many of the oily fish." He told her.
She sighed, "Yes Martin, I know. I still think it tasted good, despite that." She smiled at him. "Go and sit down, I'll wash up, as you made it. Do you want another drink?"
He agreed and went across to the couch and sat back. He watched her as she moved around the table, gathering the dirty crockery and taking it to be washed. He heard the dishwasher being loaded and set away, before she reappeared with the teas.
Taking a seat next to him she cuddled in and waited.
Putting an arm around her he drank his tea and tried to relax, but the thought that he might be like his father went round and around in his brain. "Louisa, it bothers me when I recall incidents like the one I told you about earlier. What if I do the same to our child?"
"Is that why you got the baby book when we went shopping the other week? I saw you looking at the Discipline and Guidance chapters."
Martin nodded. "It is still my biggest worry, when I think of our child growing up," he admitted.
"You know Martin, under all the bluster and shouting you do in the surgery to your recalcitrant patients, you are still a very kind and gentle man. I know that and I'm sure others in the village are sussing it out too. I have total confidence in your ability to be a good, fair parent. Yes, you will have standards and will expect those to be met. They won't however, be unachievable, like your parents' were for you. I'm sorry to harp on about this, but your parents had no thought at all about your welfare other than the bare minimum to keep you reasonably presentable to their cronies. You however, will do whatever is required to be a responsible and loving parent. I know that in my heart, Martin, and I love you for it." She looked up at him and could see that he was slightly mollified by her statement.
He hugged her, and struggled to speak. "It's the not knowing how I'll be, which worries me, Louisa."
"We'll find ways to ensure that Junior doesn't stray too far. You should recognise though, that when he/she becomes a teenager there will be a certain amount of independence from us and our way of going on will probably spark some resistance. Whatever is considered cool by their peers might not be to our liking, you know."
"I'd not got as far as thinking about the teenage years! I'm worried about the early years." Martin hung his head and appeared tormented.
"Have you been to Chris and Carol's home when they have had to talk to one of their boys? Did Chris leap into a rage and chastise his son? Did Carol? No, I expect they used something like – go to your room – or, no playing out for a week, as a means of enforcing the standard line. We can do something similar as well as explaining the dangers of not obeying us. I can assure you that it won't always work, but if we can present a united front, then they will see there is no getting around our strictures. It won't be easy and our tempers will be stretched, but we'll get through it without resorting to physical violence. We'll be together, Martin and we can talk to each other about what worries us. OK?"
He sat quietly for a while and thought through some of what she'd said. "On one level, I know all that, Louisa, but still I keep thinking what if…"
Louisa stood up, with a little help from Martin.
"OK Martin, let's put this to the test. Stand up." She ordered him to rise.
Looking puzzled he did so.
Louisa stepped forward and jabbed him in the chest aggressively with her forefinger. "Come on you – hit me!"
Martin looked astonished. Louisa continued to jab him whilst saying "Hit me."
"You know I wouldn't do that Louisa, I don't believe in physical violence, and I definitely wouldn't hit a woman, never mind the one I love!" Martin expostulated.
Louisa continued her actions and saying "hit me". Eventually Martin grabbed her hands.
She looked up at him, "What makes you think you could hit a child when you can't bring yourself to even hit me?"
He stared at her, wide-eyed. "I'm doing it again, aren't I? Putting my parent's reactions into my thought processes as though that were the only way of dealing with things." Enfolding her in his arms he embraced her. "Louisa if I ever did raise a hand to you or the child, take it and leave me, won't you?"
"Well that's us together for ever, then. I know you would never hurt me or Junior like that. Martin? I'm sorry if my jabbing hurt, but I had to make you think seriously about what I was saying to you, without taking a hammer to that head of yours." Her eyes shimmered with tears as he looked at her.
"I know. I know." He held her more tightly and breathed out deeply. "Come on, it's been an exhausting day, one way or another. We'll have an early night."