A/N: Sorry the delay folks, I had struggles with working on the story as the 503 error kept spamming on my face through the entire week! :/ Damn, this website needs to pickup on it. Anyways, it's finally here. Also the last Beastars episode was lit, although I got a bit upset at some weird lines from certain characters, no spoilers. It's worth mentioning I didn't have time to do proper proofread today so there might be something amiss somewhere. :(
First and foremost, this chapter is a special tanks (and apology) to TommySamash for his incredible artwork on DeviantArt (that dumb me never noticed until very recently.) Which features our main characters for this chapter. Truly beautiful and inspiring, thank you Tommy, it gave me motivation to get back on this fanfic more thoroughly. That being said this chapter will be getting the same title as the artwork. Make sure to check it out who hasn't. (even though I was tempted to nitpick, but I won't cause I can't draw a line to save my life.)
nadillaandlaprasthefireandice - Guest(1);
"Yep, I did not request anything at all, I was taken aback that this event existed! Fool me never saw it until very recently. :/"
Tommy423;
"Thanks Tommy. Wait, are you the Samash one though? :P"
SilverShadow360;
"Huh, I will go on that for basically most of the story, it's completely related to everything anyways. I just cannot address it regularly unless the chapter gets focused on such cases, but there will be mentions and conversations building on that. Yeah, Rokume gets a brief mention, but actual debut will happen after the summer vacations are over."
Anonimo;
"Really, whatever gave way that impression? :o I can imagine he would be confused about Legosi not wanting to get involved with Juno, but I don't think at any point Durham said he should be with her. Thanks for commenting anyway!"
Guest(2)
"I did after you mentioned cause I was worried of spoilers in Elias fanfic. Bloody Fangs and Broken Antlers is undoubtedly great, he's got a ton of talent as a writer. I may get to such struggles you mentioned, but it depends on how the story builds honestly."
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"Hey, Ellen, are you busy?"
"Eh?No, why? It's not like we got anything to do until later this night. I swear Louis is being picky just because Durham's being a pain in the ass to him. That and Legosi keeps glaring at him for whatever reason. I swear these two have issues, though I doubt it's speciest issues."
"Weeeell, I kinda could use some help. It's just that Louis asked me to check on some different arrangement for flowers, and it just happens that you're the only one that could go with me to the Gardening club. All the other girls are somewhere else."
"Urgh, really Els? Fiiiine. I will go with you. I was getting bored laying here and doing nothing anyway."
"Oh, is that so? Those fashion magazines tell me a different story."
"Haha, piss off."
The zebra moaned tiredly as she got herself out of her bed, searching aimlessly for her socks and shoes. Their roommates currently away doing who knows what. Not that Ellen was worried, the other girls always walked in groups, so there was no reason to get worked up if they ended up being late. Els calmly awaited by the doorstep for the zebra to finish properly dressing, giggling quietly at how lazily the equine behaved when leaving the comfort of her bunker. Her eyes watched with curiosity as Ellen fidgeted with her mane.
"I never understood why do you have a pony tail. It's... well, odd." She commented aloud. Ellen merely rolled her eyes, wondering to herself how many times Els would bring that up.
"Cause my mane is too long, how many times I have to keep saying that? I don't feel like having it getting in my eye all the time I spin around during practice." Els shrugged, a coy smile on her face that was rather unexpected.
"I don't know. Maybe Durham would love to see your long mane." Els kindly suggested. Ellen chortled.
"Yeah, sure. Whatever you say Els. Since when you care so much about what Durham thinks of my looks?" The zebra asked, a humored grin on her face as she made her way outside to join the smaller Herbivore. Els raised an eyebrow, wondering if meddling with the zebra's past comments would be worth the trouble.
"Ahhh, I'm getting fat Els!I don't know if I should go jogging at all, Durham will notice my chubby belly!" Els said with mockery, a devilish smile on her face as Ellen went completely red as she was reminded of that particular conversation.
"F-Fuck you! That's not at all what I said!" Ellen tried to defend herself to no avail. Els merely shrugged her off.
"Suit yourself, but I don't think I ever saw you using anything that would be more revealing ever since you mentioned that concern of yours, it's almost like you have been trying to hide whatever you're afraid of. To be fair, I don't think you're anywhere near getting fat, but I worry that you're a bit too skinny Ellen." The goat added with a touch of concern. "You should take Durham's offer. He could help you gain some mass, you do really look like you could use it."
"Oh, great, so I'm not getting fat but thin as a needle." Ellen frowned, not liking that she had to agree with Els words. She did look a bit frail when looking back at the mirror a few times, but she thought the few outlined muscles were responsible for that illusion. "I don't think I wanna become a muscle freak like Roger, but I get your point."
"Roger?" Els asked, confused at the mention of a name she was unfamiliar with. Ellen chuckled.
"Durham introduced him to me the other day, dude was a colleague of his from the Sports club, a natural boxer or whatever, I wasn't really paying attention."
Els smiled knowingly.
"I guess he must have some really interesting body type to get your attention." She joked. Ellen gave her a long sideways glance before resuming the conversation.
"For a buffy kangaroo he seemed mostly alright, even if the way he stared at me was kinda odd. It's like he never saw a girl in his life, probably too busy lifting weight with his arms than lifting his eyes to see more than just the ground."
Els laughed at Ellen's opinion of the strong Herbivore. The goat would never cease to be amazed about how Ellen couldn't care less about saying her mind when talking about the other students.
They both came across several Herbivores on their way to the main building, some familiar faces from the Drama club showed up such as Dom, Moro and Mina. The giraffe in particular stopped by to talk with Ellen.
"Hey, Ellen, how are you and Els doing? Will you two be at the plaza this night?" Mina asked, seemingly thankful to have found them.
"Huh, yeah we will. Not like Louis would ever let me not go, or that I wouldn't want to. Better than being stuck in this place." Ellen replied, for once looking more relaxed as she regarded the taller Herbivore. "Say, when will you make time to actually show up at any of the Festivals? We never see you at them."
Mina scratched her long neck with one of her hands, her eyes shifting from one Herbivore to another with apprehension.
"I dunno. I wish I could have a say on that, but mom and dad won't have it. They think I'm too exposed being outside, even if in a large group. Say, I heard you and that coyote have gone on a date last night. Is that true?" She asked, eyes widening slightly as if she expected to hear her say otherwise.
"Not really a date but, yeah, we did went out with a few friends. I don't think Durham will ever ask me on a date any time soon. Gotta take what I can get." Ellen replied, looking somewhat despondent. Els smiled mischievously at their side, but managed to keep her expression concealed. Mina's jaw went ajar for few seconds.
"W-Wait, so... you are actually considering dating a Carnivore?" She asked, looking every bit spooked and alarmed by the possibility. Ellen huffed, her expression of annoyance was already a warning for those that reached near the limit of her patience.
"Maybe, problem?" The zebra asked, a defiant glare aimed towards the giraffe. Mina shook her head immediately. "Good, I had enough from the other girls saying crap about who I go out with. I don't need this at the Drama club too."
"We should get going Ellen." Els advised. Her face betraying no emotion, despite the fact she was feeling extremely anxious at the moment. Els wasn't sure how the other Herbivores would take on Ellen and Durham being a thing. It was unheard of that an Carnivore and Herbivore turn into an actual couple inside the school, rather than it being a one particular occasion event. "We see you tomorrow Mina."
"Bye, take care you two." Mina replied, looking somewhat sad all of sudden. Ellen wanted to ask if something was wrong, but Els pulled her by the skirt to rush them both out of there. It was only after they were two floors up that the zebra became vocal again.
"What was that all about?" Ellen asked, feeling a bit upset and confused by their recent encounter with the giraffe. Els didn't say anything at first, her mind focused on taking them to the Gardening club as soon as possible. "Els, why you're so quiet?"
"I'm not, just... you shouldn't worry. The... others have been wondering about you lately." Els said slowly, hesitant about sharing the latest gossip circulating among the Herbivore students. "It's become a... notable occurrence that you went out with a group of Carnivores yesterday. Lots of students were shocked that you went by yourself during night time."
Ellen regarded the fluffy female with confusion, not seeing the reason for such a fuss.
"I did not went by myself. I had friends with me. Not sure what they're talking about, bunch of dimwits." Els frowned.
"Ellen, I didn't know you were the only Herbivore in the group. I thought someone else was there besides you and the Carnivores. Not that I would be worried, I know they wouldn't ever hurt you, at least not in the present time. Yet, it's not like everyone else will see it that way."
Ellen stopped, blocking Els path, hand on her hips and she glared down at the goat girl.
"What's that supposed to mean? Not in the present time?"
Els grimaced, her eyes averting away from the equine. She regretted saying those words, as they were a direct way to imply that Carnivores couldn't be truly trusted. She spent these last weeks trying to come around concepts that she grew up with her whole life, old habits and notions were extremely hard to change in a matter of days.
"I... sorry, I wasn't thinking clearly." Els admitted, looking back at the zebra with a solemn look on her face. Ellen raised an eyebrow, unsure of why Els was being so easily distracted. "Let's get going, it's just one more set of stairs."
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"Alright, go ahead. I will join you in few minutes?"
"Wait, what?! What's up with you? I thought you were the one in need to come here get this arrangements, not me!" Ellen complained feverish. Els returned her scandalized look with an apologetic smile.
"Sooorry. I need to go to the bathroom." Els replied, hoping she sounded sincere enough. Ellen huffed, looking beyond frustrated with the other female.
"Fine, just hurry up! I don't plan to sit in a garden for the whole afternoon." Ellen replied, making her way to the doorway that would lead her outside to the terrace. Els smiled, looking very pleased with herself.
'Oh, I don't know Ellen, I think you will be there for quite some time.'
Ellen shut the door behind her, the sound of metal slamming with excessive strength resonated in her ears, she gritted her teeth at how loud it was.
"Fuck, should go easy on this damn door next time." She muttered to herself, her hands caressing the sides of her head, she felt like experiencing a headache at any second. Her eyes were squirming to adjust to the sunlight, the garden was bathed with the warmth of the solar giant, the incredible view the area provided of the entirety of the school and beyond masked by a light bloom effect.
"Wow, why so harsh? Poor door didn't make fun of you, did it now?"
A voice that Ellen grew fond and somewhat sick of reached her tortured ears. Her eyes widened in shock, she turned around to her left, at the far corner of the terrace, hiding among giant bushes and thin wooden fences, was Durham.
She stared. Durham stood there, sitting on one of the two wooden benches, they currently surrounded a small circular table of the same material. Her eyes shifted towards what was on that table. She felt her jaw opening, shock and disbelief were the only things her mind managed allowed her to express.
"Wha-how did y-when tha- what?..."
Durham smiled, his eyes shining more brightly than she could ever remember. The coyote looking inexplicably far too elegant despite using the usual school uniform. He raised a hand, gesturing for her to take a seat. Her legs felt numb, her heart felt like it was trying to reach up her throat. Her hands were shaking, she felt out of breath for brief moment. She looked back at him, and she realized there were two particular feelings that conflicted within her at that very moment.
Hope and Fear.
"D-Durham...w-why? Why you... is this?" She asked, fumbling with words as she tried to make sense of what was happening, she struggled to approach the table.
Durham felt his jovial expression falter for a moment, the zebra's hesitance a clear sign of inner fears coming to surface. He pondered on how to ease her through this situation.
"Hey, uh... I know this looks a bit sketchy, Els helped me a ton to make it happen. It's not like I'm luring you into something or anything, I didn't even brought the gun this time around." He explained carefully, hoping it would give her some peace of mind. What he did not expect was for her to burst out on laughter. "Errr, did I miss something?" He asked, perplexed at what had the zebra in hysterics.
Ellen had difficulty to calm herself down, she found it hard to concentrate after Durham expressed his worry. It was so unbelievably cute and funny that he thought she was scared of him trapping her somehow. No, it wasn't that ridiculous possibility that had her in shock for the past minute.
The setup was too obvious, and it still caught her unawares. She did not expect him to pull something like this out of nowhere, and he even managed to get that mischievous little goat to help him to accomplish it. That he even went to such lengths to give her a good time, it spoke deep into her soul about how the coyote felt towards her. It was both thrilling and extremely worrisome.
She managed to even her breath after few seconds of Durham staring at her, looking gobsmacked by her reaction. She felt slightly bad for laughing his concerns off, but she couldn't help it. She trusted him that much to know he would never do such thing.
"S-Sorry, but..., I don't think you would do anything of the sort. It's just..." She felt her face soften, her eyes locking into his, a feeling of wonder and anxiety clouding her mind. "... is this how you feel towards me?"
Durham's eyes widened for a moment, but he stopped himself in time from expressing any further how surprised he was that she caught on so quickly. Now he was the one fumbling around with words, getting annoyed at himself for not predicting such outcome.
"I... well, yeah... it's, you know... I, huh... heh, fuck. I'm terrible at this." He admitted with a heavy sigh. Ellen giggled at his nervousness.
"Don't worry, you don't have to say anything." She said, wondering how far Durham would keep this act going but, while she trusted him, she wanted to see if he would truly commit to the end. How far he was willing to go on getting himself involved with an Herbivore in such a way.
"I never realized how much prettier you are under the sunlight. It shines you black and white so much, and your eyes brighten just like the stars in the night sky."
Now that sudden amount of compliment towards her physic did give Ellen no further doubt of what Durham was aiming for. She couldn't help the intense blush on her face, she smiled sheepishly, averting her eyes away from him. Such words were so alien to her, as no ever really cared to tell the zebra how incredible her attributes are, or even noticed, aside from her parents and foster ones. Yet, this coyote, ever since she met him, has been on a trend of mouthing his appreciation for the beauty she never truly believed she possesses.
Durham was alarmed as she saw her eyes shine more than usual, and realized what was happening.
"St-Ellen, did I... say something wrong?" He asked, genuinely worried he had upset her somehow. Ellen felt a tremendous struggle to reply, a hand holding over her muzzle, she felt as the warm liquid caressed her face, moving downwards at a steady and gently pace.
"N-Noo... I... I..."
"..."
She felt so stupid right now, bursting into a hot mess of tears. The coyote simply stood there, looking guilty somewhat. She couldn't bring herself to express how much it meant to her to hear such words from someone that not her own family. Her life had been nothing but a constant struggle to adapt to every bit of their society. She never felt truly cared for wherever she went, a young zebra has always been a desired target for predators. She spent most of her life fearing being hunted down, ambushed by someone she knew or that pretended to care for her. The amount of times she knew Carnivores, and even Herbivores, had been lying to her, people she thought her were friends that actually wanted, or wouldn't care, to see her die.
Young Herbivores were always extremely fearful of life outside their homes, and they struggled to understand the concept of grouping at such age. They usually think that keeping a low profile was the best way to not gain unwanted attention, but some Herbivores were normally considerably taller than others no matter how old they were. Equines in general, Elephants, Rhinos, and some others were usually massive in comparison to most other Herbivores. Yet, in such groups, none was in more danger than her kind, for she was a meek female zebra and powerless to defend herself at such age. Predation, as awful as it is, didn't differentiate by gender or age. For them it was all fair game, as long their prey wouldn't be able to put a fight for more than few seconds. Young Herbivores have usually a nasty idea of just giving up one of their own to save themselves, something that it was undoubtedly still present in most adults, which earned her terrible past friendships. Ellen knew if they ever got in danger, for usually being the tallest of the group, she would always be the first one to be left behind, for the other smaller Herbivores thought her body would be more than enough to satisfy the attackers.
No matter where or when, she never could bring herself to expect someone would even truly care if she got devoured. She refused to leave home to visit friends or do anything other that not homework or go to school. She hated the outside, but being locked was far much worse. It was driving her insane to decide if it was worthy to spent the rest of her life shut away, or to risk venturing outside, a feeble attempt of living life, at least until someone decided to rip her apart.
Last night had been a test to her sanity. She realized a bit too late that she was going out with an entire group of Carnivores, (she wasn't sure how to describe Jack though) and she also couldn't help the terrible feeling of imminent betrayal that exploded in her chest. That insane amount of fear that threatened to drive her insane. She haven't felt such ever since her parent's deaths. She coped with her fear with the only way she knew, nothing but extreme anger.
Shiira knew, she knew how much Ellen struggled to trust anyone, the cheetah subtly eased her nerves, a silent promise that she wouldn't let anything bad happen with her. Els knew it aswell, which explained the tone of upset and worry in her voice when Ellen mentioned about her adventure last night.
Ellen knew she promised she would tell Durham about why she was acting like that yesterday. There was a ton in her chest she want to let it out, but despite talking about her inner problems with Els and Shiira, she felt that saying such to Durham would mean a lot more than if she told anyone else. She loved Els and Shiira like sisters, but the zebra was ashamed to admit she wronged the cheetah after what happened with Tem. Els, despite how loving and caring she looked, could never bring Ellen any sense of ease, for she was smaller and easily afraid. All the relationships she built ever since she came in Cherryton School, none could ever bring her any hope that things would be different, that she no longer would have to be afraid, of both deception and termination.
Durham proved her wrong.
Speaking of him, the coyote slowly came by her side. Gently grasping her free hand into his, she had bring herself to look back at him. He stared back, a look of worry and empathy laced across his furry face, those sizable ears of his perked all the way up as he gave her his undivided attention. He pulled smoothly, inviting her to follow him back to the table. She complied quietly, unable to trust her own legs to do it for her.
He came to sit on his bench, Ellen slowly accommodated herself on the seat next to him. She felt her face heating up as the realization that he never let her hand go came at her. She tried to mask her embarrassment by shifting her eyes towards the contents on the table. She could only presume that Els was the culprit behind the fact he bought literally all of her favorite deserts, not to mention a giant glass cup filled with orange juice. She was about to comment on how did he managed to sneak this stuff past the Kitchen without anyone noticing, but her eyes rested on the launch that the coyote brought to himself.
A hamburger.
Her eyes narrowed for a second, wondering if he actually was eating meat. Durham realized her uneasy as she stared at his plate.
"Don't worry, it's industrial." He explained quickly enough.
"Oh, I... sorry, I should've guessed." She said, feeling even more embarrassed than before. Durham gently rubbed the back of her hand as a way to forgive her mistake. The zebra wondered how much redder she would get before she became as fiery and hot as the sun above their heads.
"Durham, there's something I need to tel-
"Uhuh, launch first, sad story later." He replied cheekily enough. Her embarrassment evaporated in the blink of an eye.
"Sad story?" She asked, both perplexed and somewhat intrigued. "When did you even get the idea it would be sad?"
Durham laughed, looking at her as if she was behaving like toddler.
"How could I not? Ellen..." He paused, choosing carefully his words to avoid misunderstanding. "... you told me a fair deal about yourself. Life wasn't easy for you ever since you were a kid, I have no reason to believe things got better after what happened. We all had our struggles growing up, we still do anyways." He added with a grimace, the zebra nodded in agreement. "Perhaps, whatever cause you to behave that way yesterday, is just an add up of things you've been keeping to yourself. We all get at a breaking point somewhat."
Ellen was genuinely surprised by the wisdom behind his words. Durham is a far cry from the majority of the other teens in the school, the most notable example being Bill. Comparing Durham's attitude, and thinking, with the way the tiger acts and thinks was like comparing pandas with polar bears.
'I just wished I could explain what's the difference between the two aside the obvious.' Ellen thought to herself distractedly. She heard that particular phrase being used so many times, but never understood what it was really supposed to mean.
She blinked, realizing she dozed off into her own little world while holding the hand of a Ca- of Durham. She never did that before, it is highly counter intuitive to lose yourself while exposed on the open world. Yet, she did it anyways, her body wasn't screaming at her to get away, to preserve herself from danger. She felt... at ease.
The realization brought her into an sense of awe she hardly ever experienced before.
"You ok?" Durham asked, noticing the zebra expressing something akin to shock as she kept her eyes trailed on the table. She blinked, returning her attention back at him, a smile creeping upon her face. She felt something growing up deep within her, and for the first time since years, it was not fear or anxiety.
It was passion.
"Yeah, I feel really good right now, thanks." She replied, a touch of humor as she gently released Durham's grasp from her hand. "Now do you mind if I just have my hand back for few minutes? I do want to have a go at all of this. It looks and smells good." She replied, glancing fondly back at him.
"Oh, yeah, s-sure." Durham said, feeling a bit silly for holding her for so long. Ellen merely smiled and she picked a spoon to try out the deserts. She honestly thought about asking for vegetables but Durham pointed out, as she poked the chocolate cake with the rather sizable spoon, that he could not find shops that would be open that late at night for that kind of food. Ellen wasn't surprised, no Herbivore in their right mind would be up that late to shop for food, at least not in town center.
"I'm honestly very happy to be doing this with you Ellen." He said with a genuine and wide smile on his face. She glanced at him and couldn't help but look sideways, desperate to hide the sheepish smile on her muzzle after seeing the adorable look on his face. She picked up the glass of orange, raising it on an attempt to hide her silly self from him. That coyote was turning her mellow quicker than she would dare to admit. She felt his legs under the table, brushing against her own, she couldn't help the shivers it sent up her spine. Being this close to him was really getting to her.
"Now, after we are done stuffing ourselves, then we can talk whatever needs to be said. Also, I kinda do have some things I need to talk about, but you can go first." He said, looking far too content to simply be having a launch. Ellen nodded, her mind at peace with the prospect. Even the mention of it could not erase the flame that erupted in her chest, a newfound feeling that the zebra awaited for so long to feel again in her very being.
Love.