Chapter 8.5
PSA 1: Collector's Conundrum
We see both Sam and Zero standing in front of the Resistance camp storage, facing us.
"Hey there," Sam speaks. "I'm Sam King, the OC created specifically for TheOmega360's Drakengard/NieR crossover fic, Overslept."
…
There's a bit of silence.
"Zero," Sam whispers. "That's your cue."
"This is so stupid," Zero grumbles. "Why are we doing this?"
"Because we're bored and you wanted to do something that didn't involve me back-seat gaming."
"This is even more annoying than that."
"Well, we're stuck in this camp either until Anemone gives us an escort to explore, or until the writer pulls his head out of his ass and moves the plot along. So pick your fucking poison and deal with it. We might as well make something productive out of it. Besides, I also remember you saying you were slightly interested in how this video stuff was done."
"Okay, fine, goddamnit," Zero complains and then turns to the reader. "And I'm Zero, originally from Square Enix's Drakengard3, also known as Drag-On Dragoon 3 in Japan. Hey, Sam, been meaning to ask," Zero adds turning to Sam. "Why the fuck does the series I'm part of have two different names in two different countries?"
"Mostly, localization stuff," Sam replies. "It's not really that important."
"Is this one of those things that wouldn't make since, unless I lived in your era?"
"Zero, I barely understand that crap myself," Sam answers bluntly.
"Okay, then yeah, definitely not important."
"Anyways," Sam says turning back to the reader. "I'm sure you NieR, Drakengard and Square fans are aware of the release of NieR: Automata: Game of the YoRHa Edition almost two months ago."
"Why the fuck do they call it that?" Zero asks.
"It's wordplay for 'Game of the year.'"
"What's that?"
"An award that a video game receives for being the best game to come out during year."
"...Sounds like something that's not always accurate."
"Tell me about it," Sam grunts. "A lot of games in my high school days get praised for reasons that don't matter, and bashed for reasons that are superficial."
"Like Mighty No. 9?"
"Exactly. Wait, in which context?"
"In your words, 'The Mega Man we didn't necessarily need, but were too butt hurt to be thankful for."
"Yea—wait you agree with me, on that?"
"It's not perfect, but it's less frustrating than Ninja Gaiden."
"Understatement FTW," Sam comments. "Anyways, back on topic, this edition of our beloved mechanical romance story game includes everything the digital Xbox One exclusive BECOME AS GODS Edition has, the base game, the expansion DLC—"
"Which has a ridiculously cryptic name that's too long and difficult to say in conversation," Zero interjects.
"All content that was originally included in the Day One Edition," Sam continues. "The Machine mask, Cardboard, Playstation, Retro Grey, Retro Red, and the Grimoire Weiss Pod skins."
"I still say my cover is not that drab," Weiss complains from off to the side.
"Can it, Shakespeare!" Sam yells to the posh tome.
Rubrum can be heard chuckling off to the side, along with Weiss grumbling irritably.
"And for this edition, exclusive PS4 Avatars, and a brand new PS4 Dynamic theme for the system menu," Sam concluded.
There's a moment of silence as the reader takes this information in.
"So…it's basically the same thing as the Xbox edition that was released earlier," Zero summarized.
"Well…kinda," Sam answered. "The only differences are those last two things I mentioned, the Avatars and the Theme. And the fact there's a physical copy instead of digital only."
"What about the PC version?" Zero asks. "Is that getting anything?"
"Pretty sure I told you no one really cares about that port," Sam bluntly answers.
"Meh, I barely care about what were doing right now."
"You will eventually."
"Huh?"
"Now, I'm sure quite a bit of you are asking yourselves, assuming of course you already have a copy of the base game prior to this release, 'Why should I consider getting this?' Well that depends on who you ask, and we're not going to try and convince you to get it—"
"Cuz it's a waste of money?" Zero asks.
"No, because it's none of our business. And it might violate the outdated rules of this site and get a certain self-proclaimed group of united…criticism, or some dumb group or whatever, that are about as nosy and irritating as the homeowners association in my parent's neighborhood."
"Both of those groups sound laughably unintimidating."
"Really cranking out those understatements, Z. Anyways, what we will tell you to consider what I like to call the 'Collector's Conundrum.'"
"The huh?"
"Any die hard fan of any series, depending on who they are, is more often than not, going to want to have more items related to that franchise in their collection, weather it's the next installation of the series, or merchandise associated with it."
"How does this affect me again?" Zero asks.
"Getting to that," Sam answered. "But obviously, collecting stuff costs money, and depending on what you want to get, the costs of such collections can cost up to thousands of dollars. Or Gs in our case, but that's easy money for some of us more than others." This last part is said as Sam glances at Zero.
"I won't lie, doing all those small jobs for Accord did pay off," the Intoner replies.
"Which brings me to my first point using Zero's weapon obsession as an example. Getting a different version of something you already have and already works just fine."
"Wh—hey, I do not have that bad of an obsession with killing tools!" Zero protests.
"Zero, you practically drooled when you saw 2B's Beastlord. Throw in a happy-go-lucky attitude and you'd give Ruby Rose a run for her lien."
"Uuuuuuugh," Zero shudders. "The dreaded Two clone."
"She's got dozens of swords, spears, combat bracers, spikey metal frisbees—"
"Chakarms," Zero corrects.
"Yeah, I can't pronounce that, and the writer probably can't spell it," Sam comments. "And recently, she's been obsessed with guns."
"What can I say? Bitches love cannons," Zero comments with a smarmy smirk.
"You'd think one would be enough, especially with the kind of upgrades and maintenance that the future holds, making any weapon in existence practically immortal in terms of durability. Times infinity to the power of ridiculous when you throw in Zero's mastery of magic."
"There's not kill quite like overkill. That's my motto."
"Of course it would be. But just like with Pokemon, she's gotta catch 'em all. One isn't enough."
"It's a hobby, Sam. Don't over analyze it."
"And like with all collection hobbies, the one thing you have to consider is this: Do you really need it? And more importantly, do you really need it right now? Gamming is an expensive hobby. For example, the Black Box Edition of NieR: Automata contains a lot more than any of the last three editions mentioned. The game, the Day One DLC, a snappy steelbook case, a 150mm 2B figurine, a 62 page hardback art book, an exclusive soundrack containing live recordings of 13 songs from the OSTs of both NieR and NieR: Automata, all of which is neatly wrapped up in a black collector's box embedded with the YoRHa insignia, and that's placed in the cover sleeve."
"Whoa, okay, that sounds like a better buy, than game of corny wordplay edition," Zero comments, completely impressed.
"Yeah…well…here's the thing. These kinds of limited editions that come with merchandise…the gaming companies can only afford so much to produce different types of merchandise exclusives in addition to one of their games or franchises, and depending on how much of the budget is spent on that, it can either make or break a release. So obviously it's a matter of time before the publisher stops selling them. And in the case of the Black Box Edition, that expiration date is over two years old now."
"So…that means you can't get it anymore?" Zero asks puzzled.
"Not necessarily," Sam explains. "There's plenty of online stores that still offer the Black Box Edition. But, depending on the vendor, and the condition of all the contents…or, what remain of them, the price can rage from $500 to over $1000."
"Whoa, what fuck?!" Zero exclaims. "That shit's worth that much?!"
"Well, since the Black Box Edition materials are no longer being made, they've become extremely rare items," Sam explains. "Making them extremely valuable to both collectors, and vendors. Supply goes down, demand goes up, and with it, so does the price."
"I don't think that's how supply and demand works," 9S commented from off the side.
"Clearly you've never been to Wall Street," Sam retorts.
"Why the hell would someone want to spend that much money on something they don't need?" Zero questions out loud.
"Exactly," Sam agrees. "If you've got that kind of money, then it's better utilized on things that you actually need, such as college, rent, groceries, loans—"
"Or that awesome shampoo and deoderant stuff that don't make you smell like Mikhail," Zero added.
"Yeah, cuz if you can afford to go to E3, you can afford to manage your own personal hygine, you fuckin' slob."
The screen then fades out.
VOICE CAST
Sam King—Andrew Hindle
Zero—Tara Platt
Grimore Weiss—Liam O'Brien
Grimore Rubrum—Monica Rial
9S—Kyle McCarley
"Hey Sam, out of curiosity, do you know if the writer is getting the new edition?" Zero asks during the credits
"Well, considering he accidentally bought the Day One Edition and the voucher was already used, he's on the fence about it, last I heard," Sam replies. "But if he does, it might not be until after DMC5."
"Well, at least he knows how to prioritize."
...
AN: Caught ya by suprise with this one, didn't I? Y'know hoe Red Vs Blue does some non-cannon PSAs? Well, I thought I'd do the same with this lil' story of mine. Kinda like an omake. Now, before you ask, this is NON-CANNON to my fic. Enough said. Would you guys like me to do more of these?
Also a couple of things I need to say to an Annon: Unfortunatly I have to correct you on something. Jackass does have an eyepatch covering her right eye, it's jus hard to tell from her character model alone, unless you screen shot her. Look up both official and fan art works of her and you'll see what I mean.
Technically having the year at 1000 in Drakengard 3 would mean that Zero is slightly less older than what I made her out to be in terms of time and space. But even if I went back and fixed that discrepancy, it would be moot, beause the idea would be the same.
As for the rest of the Intoners...I think I'll leave you in the dark about that, hue, hue, hue. And Kaine? I like her, but don't get your hopes up.
And no, the Drakengard and NieR characters will never find out they're in a game because that's not how I'm writing this. If your assumption of that is based on Sam merely owning the consoles, then don't you think whe would've either heard of or own NieR: Automata and Drakengard, and recognized the characters?
Okay, now that this is done, back to irl. STAY TUNNED!