I do not own Ah! My Goddess or Cat Planet Cuties

-oOoOoOo-

"So let me get this straight… You're going to kill her…." Urd asked, gesturing to Eris. "Why?"

"She looks like some girl cosplaying as a cat! We need something more dignified for Earth's first contact!" the base commander replied, unaware that Urd and Skuld were recording him and sending it across various video websites and also was blocking the base from seeing said stream.

Urd just stared at the base commander for a few moments. "That's your reason? Seriously?"

"Yes! We need our first meeting to not be ridiculous, so we need something clearly non-human!" the base commander said, gesturing a gun towards Eris. After a moment, they dropped the gun, as it was melting.

Urd took a deep breath. "Look, as far as first meetings go, having Catians be Earth's first contact is pretty damn lucky. You eat the same food, can live in the same atmosphere and environments, any slights are easily forgiven, you don't have to go out of the way to vaccinate too much-"

"That's besides the point! We had hopes and dreams from watching Science Fiction as children!" the base commander yelled, cradling their hand. "The fact that we met an alien who looks just like us destroys all of that!"

"And I want a boyfriend and girlfriend, but I ain't getting that any time soon," Urd replied, an image of dating both Keiichi and Mara ran through her mind. "Besides, The original Star Trek had aliens on the level of the cat people. If you wanna get into specifics, it also had a race called Caitians, but those were quite furry and had another letter 'i' right before the letter 't'."

"You're not going to stop us!" the commander yelled.

With a wicked smile, Urd snapped her fingers as she said, "And you're not gonna have a job soon."

The commander's phone rang and he picked it up. As he heard the person on the other end speak more and more, the commander's face began to pale.

Urd patted Eris on the head. "I know you're more than capable of handling this military base, especially with your Assist-a-roids, but I really wanted to ruin that guy's life."

"What did you do?" Eris asked as she and Urd began to walk away.

"Well, merely let this planet know that one of its military base commanders is willing to kill an alien that looks like a cute teenage cosplayer, just because she doesn't look weird enough," Urd answered. "Now let's get you back with Kio."

"I need to report that the Dogisians have secret dealings with some of this planet's governments," Eris replied.

"Ah," Urd muttered, 'Keiichi's going to be so disappointed. He does prefer dogs over cats, after all.'

-oOo-

Mara stared at the Dogisians agent Jens for a few moments. Eventually, the demon said, "So, you want me to interrupt and ruin any and all diplomatic relations between Catians and humans?"

"Is that so hard to understand?" Jens asked.

"It's not hard, but what do you have to offer in return?" Mara asked.

Jens frowned. "According to the summons book, you have to do what I say."

Mara grumbled for a few moments before she explained, "That book only gave you a summons that's more of a 'job offer for anyone available' summons. While some demons do give out free wishes, I'm the kind that doesn't."

Jens growled for a moment before she said, "Well, what of gold? Jewels? Food? Perhaps slaves? I can spare some Catians for that."

Mara huffed, "I can create gold if I feel like it. I can get food at a lesser cost elsewhere. As for slaves, they could easily buy their freedom, making your deal worthless. What else do you have?"

"Assist-a-roids?" Jens asked.

"They're cute, but not my thing," Mara answered, looking bored. "When you have something substantial as the price for your wish, summon me."

Before Jens could say anything, Mara teleported away from Jens and appeared back in Hell. There, she met up with a Second Class Demon, who asked, "Mara, I oversaw the attempted deal. We could have easily used those Assist-a-roids, but you refused. Why?"

Mara gave the Second Class Demon a glare before saying, "We have alliances with various Minor cat demons. Carelessly making deals with Dogisians who want to get rid of anything cat-related would put a huge strain on those."

"Oh," The Second Class Demon uttered.

-o-

Belldandy was humming a song as she shopped when Sayoko walked up to her. After a moment, Belldandy turned and said, "Hello, Sayoko."

Sayoko let out a nervous sigh before she said, "Hey, Bell. You didn't hear this from me, but some little girl is planning on kidnapping Eris, or any of the Catians."

Belldandy let out a little gasp. "Who and why?"

"Her name is Antonia Lirimonie Norfedras Papenorgas Arecroteles Cnorses Morfenoss. She's about 11 years old and the kidnapping scheme is called Operation Unyaa-kun. She's really obsessed with cat people."

"Thank you for telling me, but why?" Belldandy asked.

"You're a witch and too goody-good to strike back for a slight. They're aliens with cat temperaments, armed with space weapons," Sayoko answered with a shrug. "All you can do is curse me. They can blow up the planet. I'm just insuring I live longer."

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Notes from HotelKatz : This was a bit of a request from David Alan Abramczyk on discord.

I honestly read about 12 chapters of the manga. I have the anime, but I was too tired to watch it because of the holiday rush at work.