To Nonny and Sierra: I really appreciate you're reviews! I've been having fun writing this and I always get excited when I get a new review! I'm trying to keep Kai in character as much as I can which also having realistic internal dialogue for the typical teenage boy that he is! It's been a lot of fun to get back into the world of Beyblade which played a huge role during my childhood!

Chapter 8

We ended up going back to Tyson's place and hanging out, much to little Kenny's dismay as he had just made it to the cafe when everyone other than me mutually decided that leaving was the best idea.

Actually, I mostly blamed Wyatt, who was still struggling to remain composed in front of another blading idol, although unlike me Tyson clearly loved the attention.

"You see, last year was my first year as a foreigner and it was so cool to see that Japan's team was made up by such a broad spectrum of ethnic groups. I mean, Rei isn't even Japanese and he still chose you guys over his home country!

It made sense, I thought to myself. We had a lot of talent on our team and it was clear that joining us was a better decision.

As Tyson explained battle strategies to him I mostly stayed in the background, wishing I had brought my blade for Kenny to work on.

"I'm actually kind of glad your grandfather got himself arrested, Kai." Avery remarked. "You ending up in boarding school has worked out surprisingly well for me."

You know, I had never actually realized how much of an asshole Avery was until today.

Kenny turned to me.

"What does that mean?" He asked. "Did your parents send you to Prep school after your grandfather was arrested? Why?"

Again, I preferred to keep my personal life… well, personal.

"My parents aren't around." I admitted. My situation before boarding school was actually very similar to Tyson's even though I didn't yet know if my mother was alive or not. Tyson had always been open about his mothers passing and his fathers insane work schedule. Like me, he lived with a grandparent most of his time growing up.

"Could be worse." Avery giggled. "Between boarding school and foster care I think you ended up with the better option. Could you imagine what it would be like to live in a foster home? I think you'd be arrested for homicide within a year."

My teammates were actually quiet now as it dawned on them that they had no idea what had been happening to me the past few months. Even Tyson stopped talking about himself and focused his attention on me.

"So does that mean you're in state custody right now? Why didn't you tell us any of this?" He asked. "We're your friends, we could have helped you."

"No offense, Tyson… but I don't need anyone's help."

He rolled his eyes at me.

"Could you cut the drama for once?" He asked, clearly annoyed that this was all just coming out in the open now. "You're getting a bit too old for the angsty preteen act."

Wyatt attempted unsuccessfully to hold in a chuckle.

"You are dramatic." He stated, getting Tyson off topic and turning the conversation into one where they made fun of me instead of argued about helping me.

"You were such a brat when we first met you." Tyson said. "You were what, twelve?"

"I'm not dramatic." I argued, causing Tyson to snort. He looked over at Wyatt and Avery, who were both also giggling at my expense.

"You wore red contacts." He continued, laughing through his hand. "You still paint your face during practice and tournaments."

Hey! All of us had a signature look during tournaments! It would look weird if I didn't!

"You talked me into piercing your ear with a sewing needle like three days ago." Wyatt added while laughing. "You're totally our little thespian. It's cute watching you still try and act all tough after actually getting to know you." He winked at me. "You're face is so red right now."

I got onto my feet, shoving my fists in my pocket and walking outside where I slammed the door behind me. I didn't need this shit. There were tears pooling in my eyes now and I put my head down low so that my bangs covered most of my face.

"Kai!" I heard Wyatt calling after me. I would have just told him to fuck off if I thought he would listen. "I'm sorry, I was trying to embarrass you not hurt your feelings."

Yeah, I had picked up on that. My feelings were hurt because he had tried to embarrass me. Some friend, he knew how much I hated attention drawn to me. He grabbed my hand and I spun around, pulling myself harshly away from him.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled in his face. "Stop trying to hold my hand, stop fucking touching me! I don't like you that way, got it!?"

He flinched as he stepped back, almost as if expecting me to hit him. His entire facial expression fell flat and he bit his lip, now avoiding my eyes with every fiber of his being.

"Kai, I don't like you like that either." He stated. "My friends joke about that because they're my friends; we tease each other." His eyebrows burrowed downward in annoyance. "You know, for someone who claims to hate fame and attention you sure are full of yourself." He continued. "I'm not obsessed with you, Kai, no one is, stop looking down at everyone like you're so much better than all of us when you aren't. Get over yourself."

He turned and walked away, practically stomping.

Fuck… I hadn't made him angry before…

I looked around myself for anywhere I might be able to hide for while, eventually setting with the woods. Bypassing any actual trail that might be around I went into an area no one would see me, hiding behind a tree and sitting down on the dirt floor. I was crying now, not quietly I might add. I was full on crying like a child, gasping for breath in between sobs. I hid my face in my legs and covered my head in an attempt to make myself as small as I could, Wyatt's words ringing in my ears again and again. I had been so sure he had liked me… in fact, that was one of the few things in my life I hadn't doubted.

They were all right about me, I was over dramatic and I was a brat. They had left out the part where I was also an idiot and a ditz. I was passing school but was still behind in a lot of classes, I didn't test very well and I wasn't good at studying. I was only good blading and I worked hard to get where I was. While Tyson hardly even put any effort into training I would spend hours practicing just to keep up with him. How was I supposed to beat a prodigy?

The amount of stress I was under seemed to suddenly be flowing out of me in the form of tears and I was struggling to regain my composure. I had friends who wanted to help me, who had tried to help me, and I fucked it up because I couldn't handle the idea of letting someone else in and instead opted to push everyone away, leaving myself once again with only me to rely on.

Wyatt had been wrong about something.

The things that happened to me were my fault.

I went back to Tyson's house sometime just past lunch, prepping myself up for the humiliating apology I owed everyone. Everyone was huddled around the dining table listening to Tyson tell an exaggerated story about last years championship. Wyatt didn't look at me when I sat down and I didn't blame him.

"I'm sorry." I said in shame while attempting to hide my face as much as I could. A few of them nodded coldly, clearly used to my bullshit at this point.

Tyson's phone pinged, causing him to pause his story and check it before jumping up in excitement.

"We're gonna go meet Max by the bridge!" He yelled excitedly, waving over the rest of us to get up. I followed behind Wyatt awkwardly, unsuccessful in getting his attention. Right now might not be the best time to apologize to him personally, there were a lot of people and a lot happening. Instead I fell behind silently, punishing myself for my unnecessary outburst.

Max seemed as happy as ever when we found him, hugging Tyson and Kenny in excitement before attempting to introduce himself to me before it clicked who I was.

"Kai?" He asked, clearly not entirely sure I wasn't an imposture.

"Told you you're hard to recognize in street clothes." Tyson stated. I tried to smirk awkwardly but my mind was still focused on my own fuck up. Not noticing, he hugged me hello and asked about Avery and Wyatt, who currently just looked like two random fans who had followed us here. They introduced themselves in English, to which I was able to catch something about being my friends from school before Wyatt said something that made the three of them laugh, possibly at my expense.

We opted to find a picnic table to sit at instead of sitting in the grass, which was now mostly dead due to the cold and not particularly comfortable to lay on.

"My dad's still getting Charlotte set up, she's grumpy from the plane ride otherwise I would just have you guys come over."

I thought about mentioning that I had recently discovered that I was also an older brother but decided against it, avoiding having myself in the conversation at all. Besides, I didn't know anything about him.

I had never really spent time with my team in regards to just hanging out. We discussed training, battle strategies, Kenny updated our equipment, but just sitting in a park discussing what was happening in our lives was a foreign concept to me. Tyson apparently couldn't go back to his house at the moment because his grandpa had called him to inform him a very angry young girl was searching for him regarding a promise to allow her to help him study, which lead to a conversation about what a miracle it was that he had even managed to make it to high school. Just one more thing that worked in Tyson's favor that likely wouldn't have worked in mine. Kenny asked Avery and Wyatt some questions about where in The States they lived and Tyson poked fun at their accents, which brought to my attention something else I had forgotten about. Ignoring that I had not been a part of the conversation in at least thirty minutes I blurt out, much to my own surprise,

"Do I have an accent?" Immediately blushing when everyone currently sitting next to me responded with 'Yes' in complete unison and then laughed.

We had decided after a few hours to leave early, giving my teammates an awkward good bye. Actually, ever since I had lashed out at Wyatt things had been awkward. He wasn't ignoring me and he no longer seemed mad, but something about how he behaved around me had changed. He was more standoffish, listened to what I had said while angry and didn't touch me, not even a hand on the shoulder and he distanced himself from me while we walked, unlike usual where he walked close enough for our hands to brush together.

"I have a test I need to study for." He commented when we got back to the dorms. "I'll see you guys later."

Avery seemed to not notice anything unusual, waving him off and walking to his own room. I had half expected him to keep me company but I actually think he was expecting me to follow Wyatt, like he did me when I went into my room.

I should really give him space right now. I thought to myself before going to my own room. My stomach dropped a bit when I noticed the MP3 player he had given me sitting on the dresser next to my headphones. I was such an asshole. He had been kind to me since my first day here and I had brushed him off again and again. I had called him names, shouted at him and argued with him for doing absolutely nothing to me because I'm too proud to let anyone in.

Leaving my room once again I made my way to Wyatt's, knocking quietly.

"Not right now." He called out, annoyance creeping out of his voice.

I hesitated.

"It's Kai," I explained. "Can I talk to you?"

After a few seconds the door opened. Wyatt kept his head down and avoided eye contact. Had he been crying?

"I'm sorry." I apologized shamefully. "I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that."

He let me in and closed the door, sitting down at the desk.

"You didn't do anything wrong." He said. "You've told me to stop flirting with you before and I didn't listen. After yesterday I think I was starting to misread our relationship." I wasn't sure what he meant by that, he had said this morning that it didn't mean anything and that he felt bad doing it. So first it seemed like he didn't like me that way, then it seemed he did, then he had flat out told me he didn't.

"No." I disagreed, "You were right about me being full of myself. I shouldn't just assume you like me, especially after the way I treat you." I paused for a moment. "Honestly, you're a good friend, Wyatt, maybe a little annoying but you're probably one of the first people who's ever just liked me for myself. Not for my blading ability, not as a teammate who's tolerated even though they all think I'm a jerk. I would be lucky if someone like you was ever interested in someone like me… I'm not worth any of that..."

He gave a sad laugh.

"I wish you could see yourself the way I see you." He began, shaking his head slowly. "You act like you don't care about anyone but yourself but you don't even like yourself. You probably have some of the lowest self esteem I've ever seen in anyone and your biggest fear is that the world is gonna figure that out. I walk on egg shells around you half the time because I'm trying to figure out what's going to trigger you into a panic and what I can talk to you about just as a friend." So far it actually seemed that I saw myself exactly the way he saw me, as much as it stung to hear. "You're so much more than that, though." He continued. "You're one of the most emotionally driven people I know and I think you hide away any emotion that you don't deem as tough enough. You're worth enough to have emotions, though. When you get angry I see the sadness it's hiding and I think the sadness is just as important of a part of you."

"I still shouldn't have just assumed you liked me, I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"I do like you, you dimwit." My stomach fluttered as an awkward silence filled the room. "It's okay to let people in." He stated. "This act you put on is childish. You like spending time with us, you like spending time with your team, you like having friends but you're stuck in this world where you think having friends makes you weak. You think caring about people makes you weak and it doesn't."

He got up and approached me, my back now pressed into the wall, Wyatt wrapped his arms around my neck and torso and pulled me into a tight hug that I didn't pull away from. After a moment I wrapped my arms around him as well, hugging him back gently. He let me go after a few more seconds, brushing his thumb against my cheek and staring intensely at me.

Before I was able to change my mind I inched my face closer to his and kissed him. He held me tightly, pushing my back into the wall and bringing his hands down to my hips, pressing his torso to mine. I had my arms wrapped around his neck now, pretending that I had even the slightest idea how to actually kiss someone. Wyatt clearly knew what he was doing, though, licking gently at my lips until his tongue was in my mouth. What was I supposed to do now? Was I supposed to let him take charge or was I supposed to kiss him back in the same way? I could feel his erection pressed against the front of my waist and my heart began beating rapidly, causing my entire body to tremble and my lungs to no longer take in air properly.

Noticing my state of panic, Wyatt loosened his grip on me, unlocking our lips and pulling my head into his shoulder gently.

"It's okay." He whispered to me, "You don't need to do anything you aren't comfortable with, I can slow down." My arms were still around his neck, my cheek now resting on his shoulder. "Breathe with me." He said, letting silence fall over us. He had been my first kiss and now he had been my second. I was used to wanting space when I panicked, mostly out of fear that my emotional state could be used against me. Now I breathed in unison with Wyatt, my head on his shoulder, and I didn't want him to let me go.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. "I don't know what I'm doing."

"Never been kissed?"

"Is it obvious?"

Wyatt chuckled quietly, ruffling my hair before separating himself from me.

"You really are cute." He said.

"No I'm not." My face flushed, I hated it when he called me cute, I wasn't twelve. What fifteen year old boy wants to be called cute?

"You're in denial." He laughed, "The only fan club bigger than yours is that website dedicated to Tyson's butt." I smiled, elbowing him out of my way playfully. Tyson had sent all of us that link. "I think you should consider opening up to your therapist. It might be good for you."

I shrugged, if I did that I would need to reschedule my midweek nap.

"I don't have anything to talk about."

"What about your nightmares?" I flinched slightly. How had he found out I had nightmares? "I've spent the night in your room before," He reminded me. "You cry in your sleep sometimes. Suppressing all of your memories isn't going to help you move past your trauma. You flinch whenever someone touches you and you have panic attacks whenever you feel like you aren't in control."

I was also forgetful. I could have an entire conversation with someone and no memory of it happening, I would answer questions that someone asked an hour ago as though they had just asked now and have no idea what happened during that hour. I would watch my own conversations from outside of my body. Even now I was struggling to focus, like my mind was trying to take me away from a conversation it new I wasn't comfortable having.

"Kai?" I snapped back to reality with Wyatt moving a hand back and forth in my face. Was this still the same conversation or had time passed now? "I need a smoke break, do you wanna take a walk with me?" I nodded, following him into the hallway and back outside. It wasn't dark out yet so it didn't seem likely that too much time had passed. When he pulled a carton of cigarettes out of his pocket I put a hand out in notion for him to give me one and he obliged. Anything to take my mind off of this.

"Do you even know how to use a lighter?" Wyatt asked, lighting the cigarette between his lips. I mean, technically no but how complicated could it be? He handed me the lighter and I fidgeted with it for a moment before handing it to him in frustration. "Here," He flicked the flame out easily, lighting my own for me a bit too close to my face for comfort. As soon as I inhaled I felt my body relax a bit. This was actually a lot more pleasant than drinking, I thought to myself.

We walked a few laps around campus, chain smoking.

"Why didn't you ever mention that you blade?" I asked after the silence had dragged on too long. He scoffed, flicking a cigarette butt on the ground and grinding his foot on it.

"I'm not very good." He said with a shrug. "I mean, not compared to you."

In a way I understood that feeling, I don't mean to brag but I'm a good blader, we weren't a championship team for nothing, but there were times where compared to Tyson I felt no better than an amateur. I could practice until exhaustion, I made sure I stayed in good shape and had my training regiment down to a matter of science in order to keep up with him. If he bothered to put the hard work in, Tyson would be unbeatable and it was only due to his own laziness that he wasn't.

I don't think he even realized how crazy it drove me.

"Have you ever entered a tournament?" I asked, trying to keep him talking so that I could avoid thinking about my own life.

"Many times." He laughed. "Actually I made it to second place once, but I'm not playing against anyone even close to being in your league. I'm sure in a typical group of teenagers I'm fine, maybe even good, but I'll never make it to the big leagues."

I didn't answer him, I had never seen him play the game and didn't get a say in whether or not he was any good. I wasn't gonna claim he was just to make him feel better about himself.

"The big leagues are no joke." I said honestly, "Once your going up against people with Bit-Beasts things can get dangerous." I thought back to some of my own close calls, to make it as far as we had you needed to have your guard up at all times and be aware of the potential danger, it wasn't uncommon to be knocked right of your feet from turbulence.

"You know, life might not be as difficult for you if you didn't carry so much weight on your shoulders." Wyatt remarked sadly, changing the subject.

"I already told you, I don't need to talk to a therapist."

"If they're gonna force you to meet up with your dad you should at least be prepared for it."

I grew quiet this time. In a sense he was both right and wrong. It wasn't that I had no memory of my father, if anything those were some of the only happy memories I had, which just makes it worse when they're taken away from you. How do you prepare yourself to meet the person who abandoned you?

"I didn't need him after he left, I don't need him now."

"If you don't figure out your daddy issues it can greatly affect your sex life; you'll be a slut." He gave a playful smile and I smacked him gently on the back of the head. "No really!" He continued, no longer holding back laughter. "People with daddy issues are freaks in the bedroom!"

A month ago this conversation would have made me angry.

Wyatt was right, he really was a terrible influence.