I had immediately gone down to the computer lab after the incident at Tyson's house in order to email Kenny an apology. I couldn't hide the fact that I had been behaving a tad strangely lately, gradually making more than one unsuccessful attempt at being less introverted toward my friends.

Realistically I probably owed Tyson an apology too, something I opted not to do in order to save face… honestly the fact that my social anxiety tended to come off as bitterness worked quite well in my favor.

Still, I was trying.

Failing, but trying.

Due to not wanting to find myself in any more trouble with Ono-San I had agreed to lay low the rest of the weekend, spending most of my time sleeping and trying to catch up on homework before finals week reared it's ugly head.

"Most people carry a calculator on their phone nowadays." I groaned, "Is knowing any of this even still relevant? It's the 2000's!"

Wyatt giggled, currently laying in my bed playing a handheld video game instead of making any attempt to help me, something that caused me to question why I had invited him to my dorm in the first place.

"That's a bit ironic coming from you." He smirked. "You're probably the only person in this entire school who doesn't have a phone."

I huffed, dropping my head onto the table like a child throwing a tantrum.

"I miss my language classes." I muttered.

"You know, they say that Maths is a universal language. It sure is a shame that it seems to by the only one you can't seem to figure out."

I lifted my head up just enough to be able to hit it on the desk again, not questioning why I was trying to prove a point through hurting myself. Why had no one ever told me that school was pure torture? Why would no one bother to give me so much as a warning?

"You can fluently read and write four different alphabets. Are you really gonna let algebra be the thing that takes you down?"

"I need to draw the line somewhere."

He laughed, putting his game down and turning onto his stomach, chin resting daintily on his fists like some kind of teenage girl movie cliché. Eyes now in what I would refer to as 'puppy dog mode', he batted his lashes at me and smiled. All things that after spending most of the school year attached to his hip, I would at this point deem as suspicious.

"What are you about to ask that I'm not going to like?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow intuitively.

"Me?" He said dramatically. "Kai, I'm surprised at you! To think that after all the months we've spent together you still feel as though you can't trust me? My feelings are hurt!"

"I will kick you out of my room." I threatened, fully aware that it was a lie.

He sat upright, getting onto his feet and approaching me like a child about to ask for money.

"You're so cruel. All I was going to do was seduce you into letting us have a dorm party here before the start of winter break." He cupped my cheek in his hand, lifting my head just enough to kiss me.

"I've already gotten two smoking violations so far this year and I don't even smoke in my room. You're gonna get me another detention." I swatted him away, trying once again to get at least some of my homework finished.

"But we like your dorm!" He whined. "It's all clean and organized!"

Actually, as of lately my dorm seemed to be looking more and more like, well… a dorm. Wyatt had given me copies of photos we had taken and I had hung them up, something I knew I shouldn't be embarrassed about but still felt slight shame regarding.

I knew that he was right when he told me that having friends didn't make me weak, but it still felt hard to fully accept.

I had also finally unpacked my team photo from last years finals in Russia, which sat framed on my desk; the family photo my brother had given me tucked into the corner.

There was something about having poorly printed photos from a digital camera that made me feel like I actually might belong somewhere.

"Every single one of you has a perfectly good dorm room." I said with an eye roll as I placed my half completed homework assignments back into my bag. I would finish later, I needed a break. "It's not my fault that none of you ever do your laundry on time or make your beds."

"Your dorm would look the same as ours if you actually owned anything to cause clutter." Wyatt smirked. "It still practically looks like you just moved in."

He took hold of my hands, pulling me out of my desk chair and onto my feet before wrapping his arms tightly around my neck, pulling me onto him as he fell back onto my mattress. His face now formed a childish pout as he held me, lower lip protruding out in an over dramatic fashion. "I'm just saying, your room has more space than any of ours because you have less stuff."

"You all keep your things in my room. I have never bought alcohol in my life and I currently have four bottles of it under my bed. You have clothes in my dresser!"

"Will you just shut up and kiss me?" He smiled, putting his lips to my neck gently. I shuttered slightly, rolling off of him and onto the mattress. "You have an insanely sensitive neck." He giggled, pulling me into him and kissing me with caution, unsure whether or not I would pull back.

We lay side by side facing one another; still I averted my gaze when he unlocked his lips from mine, unsuccessfully trying to ignore the lingering thoughts I didn't like living in my head.

Wyatt took notice, brushing his thumb across my cheek, his hand now gracefully cupping my jaw.

"You okay?" He asked.

Truthfully, I wasn't sure I knew. I had figured as time went by that I would be able to figure this stuff out, yet the feeling that lingered inside continued to do nothing outside of cause more and more confusion. Wyatt resided within the walls that I had spent my life hiding behind, a feat I had never planned for. He was the only person I would ever think to call my best friend and the only person I truly trusted.

So why could I still not open up?

Why was I still hiding?

Why did the fact that I was actually happy scare me so much?

"I guess I just thought I would have some idea by now." I admitted vaguely, turning so that I could focus my eyes on the plain beige ceiling.

"Meaning what?"

I allowed him to slip his hand into mine as we lay there, a gentle flutter filling my stomach.

"I mean I thought I would know."

I could feel the mattress move as he turned to look at me, taking his hand back and wrapping his arm around my waist. I had temporarily forgotten how self conscious he had made me about how thin I was. I actually didn't really like when he held me this way…

I sighed. "Can I fantasize about guys without knowing whether or not I'm actually attracted to guys?"

He stifled a laugh, causing me to blush slightly in embarrassment.

"Here's the thing: I want to tell you not to worry so much about putting a label on yourself, but you just full on admitted to fantasizing about me so you're gonna have to wait a bit until my self esteem comes back down from out of orbit."

"I never said I was talking about you." I smiled, dodging the pillow he threw at me. He sat up on his knees, allowing his flair for the dramatics to take over once again.

"And to think I would have let you see me naked." He giggled.

The heat in my face intensified as I felt the familiar tightening sensation in my pants. The truth was, I had pictured him naked many times… by this point it took a genuine effort on my part not to watch him in the shower, still wanting to make sure I was respecting his privacy. Still, the thoughts that went through my head sometimes made me wonder if there was something wrong with me.

"Do it then." I blurted out, allowing the voice that resided inside of my head take control.

"Do what?"

I almost backed down, still at a point in the conversation where I could pretend none of this was happening and move on to something else, but my brain was being completely taken over by teenage hormones, leaning into the erotic tension that filled the air.

"Show me what you look like naked."

My heart was beating out of my chest as Wyatt's face immediately turned to a deep red. I had to force myself to maintain eye contact as I spoke, desperately wanting to return to the comfort of the plain beige ceiling. My own ability to generate words had completely disappeared as I was taken over by a new sensation, one which had forced itself in front of my anxiety and instead begged me to pin him down and kiss him.

Actually, I wanted to do a lot more than that.

Cautiously, I moved closer to him, my hands shaking while I made an attempt to unbutton his shirt, something he ended up needing to help me with due to a mix of nerves and inexperience.

He kissed my neck, moving his hands under my shirt before pulling it over my head gently and pressing his bare skin to mine.

Was this what I wanted?

All I had to do was unbutton his pants. It's not like I didn't already know what a dick looked like, it wasn't a big deal. Still my thoughts were pulling me backward, deciding without my consent when we had gone far enough.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked, currently in the process of taking his belt off.

I had no idea how to even answer that question. I wasn't even sure what it was that I wanted to do. How are you supposed to think clearly when your crotch has a pulse? Why didn't they go over this in sex ed? Why didn't I have sex ed?

I pulled him into a kiss, hoping that I could remember anything about how he had taken control the first time we made out. He moved me in the right direction, parting his lips for me and pulling us both back down onto the bed.

Although he fumbled with his pants, I still couldn't bring myself to actually look at him. What the hell are you supposed to do when you get naked with someone? Do you just stop what you're doing to look at them? Is it rude to just fucking stare at someones dick even if they've consented to it?

I could get naked too and see what he did. Was that more awkward or less awkward?

Without pulling away from me he took hold of the waist of my pants with both hands, dominantly pulling my bottom half into him and sliding a hand into them.

He didn't touch me per say, instead just exploring the bit of skin he couldn't see.

Apparently that was enough.

Making a sound I didn't even recognize as myself, I shot up; pushing him off of me harder than intended. On the edge of the bed I adjusted myself, hoping he couldn't see the humiliation on my face.

Wyatt remained relaxed, buttoning his pants back up before sitting next to me, and putting an arm around my waist, bare skin touching mine.

"That's why I wanted to go slow." He said as though comforting a child. "I don't want you to do anything that you aren't ready for."

I didn't respond, causing a moment of awkward silence before he seemed to suddenly register the look of both shock and humiliation I currently had on my face, replacing my normal reaction of freaking out like a complete idiot.

Biting his lips together in a poor attempt at hiding a smile, he brought his hand to his mouth, practically quivering at the absolutely failed attempt at comforting me.

"Hang on..." He grinned. "Did you just-"

"One more word and I will throw you out the goddamn window!" I yelled.

Bursting into hysterical laughter, he fell backward onto my bed, further condemning my current status of absolute humiliation.

"Awww! You really do like me!"

"I will punch you in the dick if you don't shut up!"

Laying down with my face in a pillow he threw himself on top of me and pulled me into a hug, attempting to roll me onto my side and out of my position of shame while I squirmed to get away like a cat that didn't want to be held.

"Man," He giggled, "I'm gonna have to do something to commemorate this moment." He tickled me gently on my side and I elbowed him off, being a tad more aggressive about it than I had intended. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I already had a feeling I made you horny-"

"I swear to fucking god I am never speaking to you again."

"You're a bad liar." He hugged me tightly, eventually settling his childish antics until he was no more than a human body pillow that giggled from time to time. "Hey, there's no shame, it happens to lots of people! Especially if you've never been physical-"

I threw the pillow on his face and held him down onto the mattress in a half assed attempted to suffocate him, knowing fully well that I would never hurt him.

Laughing playfully, he pushed me away, trying to grab me once again as I stood up and causing himself to topple head first off of the bed and onto the floor.

"Ow..." He groaned, laying in a face plant and twitching slightly.

"Serves you right."

Continuing to giggle, he picked himself back up and kissed me on the cheek.

"You know," He said. "I could just blackmail you into a party now."

"Everyone in our grade thinks you stalk me, no one would believe you."

"True."

After what felt like a lifetime but was probably only a couple of minutes, Wyatt finally stopped talking and put his shirt back on before handing me my own. Although he tended to go overboard when teasing me, he was always able to catch when I had enough.

"You guys can have a stupid dorm party here." I grunted, silently kicking myself for agreeing while also wondering why I continued to punish myself for existing.

His face lit up in excitement as he pulled me into a hug, now looking shyly at me once more as though he were about to tell me something else I wasn't going to like.

"That's good." He said. "Because I kind of already told everyone to come over on Friday." That wasn't too horrible, actually I didn't expect any different from him. "Also… I invited Tyson."

Hang on…

He what?

Authors note:

Kai is fun to torture. That is all.