Ono-San had to wake me up after parking the car, which she informed me with a smile was not an easy task. For the first time since taking my case on she appeared to be developing sympathy for me, realizing I wasn't just a jerk with abandonment issues.

I had never had that dream before… and I hadn't thought about that song in years.

Opening the car door reluctantly, I began taking in my surroundings with some caution. I had never been to this city before and to be completely honest I had never actually put much thought into my fathers life. For some reason I had expected him to live in an apartment or something, but apparently he had a home. Not a particularly large one, but a home none the less. Besides, it's not like I could complain, I currently had nothing.

A large bay window took up a lot of wall space from the outside and above that there was a small patio with a glass door. I wasn't sure how anyone was supposed to have privacy with so many windows for people to look into. A concrete step lead up to a red door, potted plants sitting on each side of it. We didn't need to bother knocking, it didn't take any time for the door to open.

"Nii-San!" Riku yelled enthusiastically before jumping off the step and running into the driveway. I actually blushed slightly at the term, he normally just called me by my name. It might have been that he was getting more comfortable with me, after all I had met him twice now. "I'm supposed to bring you inside, Mama and Papa are making lunch, they weren't sure if you had eaten anything."

In our previous meetings he had never said anything about his mother and I had wondered if his parents were married or not. If they were, that would mean I technically had a step mother; that would just be my luck, first an orphan and now the possibility of an evil step mother.

"Your little brother is very social, isn't he?" Ono-San smiled. I think she was attempting to be ironic, pointing out that although we looked alike our personalities differed greatly. I hadn't liked meeting new people at his age.

Actually, I didn't like meeting new people now.

Reluctantly I followed him into the house, taking my shoes off outside.

The interior reminded me of one of those home magazines you see in waiting rooms, hardwood floors, a divider, decorative kinds of things such as plants and pictures. The walls were all vertical wood and there was another window at the back of the house that was propped open, letting in sunlight.

It was oddly clean… in all of the memories I had from when I lived with my parents our small home was never very clean. Normally the floors bore soot from the fire place, my original 'war paint' days, back when I was still only playing.

Pushing open the divider, my father stepped into the living room.

"Rikuto, remember what I said about personal space?" He laughed. Riku was currently attempting to stand directly on top of my feet for some reason, hanging onto my arms to balance himself. Was I this odd as a kid too? Are kids all just kinda weird?

Pouting ever so slightly, he got off of me and ran into the kitchen.

"Mama, nii-san is here!" He yelled. I was quite confident that she knew that already.

My father approached me much more cautiously, placing a hand on my shoulder as though he was worried about breaking me.

"You'll need to excuse him." He said. "He's very excited that you're staying with us, he's always asked so many questions about you."

"How old is he?" Ono-San asked.

"He'll be six in March."

Although my father noticed my discomfort, I wasn't sure he realized exactly where it came from. Riku was the same age I was when I had begun staying at The Abbey during the day… I had know for awhile now how old I had been, but until I saw Riku I hadn't realized exactly how young I had been. He had life in him, he was a child who acted like a child.

That part of my life had ended by his age.

"If you don't mind taking a seat for a moment so that we can go over our crisis plan one more time." Ono-San continued speaking. "I want to make sure we're on the same page this week. Obviously this is going to be a big change for both of you and after what Kai has already gone through I want to make sure everyone is comfortable."

Exactly what had she meant by that statement? Did she mean what I had gone through just today, what I had gone through as a child, or that I was currently having media attention on myself? Thankfully with all that had happened the past two days she seemed to have skipped past that part completely. Although I was confident she was aware of the situation, there was more than enough drama already going on.

Most of the things she explained went over my head and I think she was intentionally using terms I didn't understand and refusing to properly explain anything to me. In a way I kind of felt like a dog being brought into a new home, just shoved toward people with very little understanding of what was happening and everyone talking as though you weren't even in the room.

Still, the explanation didn't take long and Ono-San was able to leave right as Riku's mother announced that we could sit and eat now, a warm smile lighting up her face and she moved from kitchen to living room and took hold of my hand politely.

"Hi," She introduced herself. "My name is Hana. I hope I wasn't being rude but I wanted to make sure everything was able to get settled without interruption. I apologize for not introducing myself sooner."

She was Japanese, something I hadn't expected as Riku looks predominantly Caucasian. He actually looked very little like his mother, similar to how I had never looked much like my father. Her face was narrow, petite features making her likely appear younger than she actually was. Like Riku she had jet black hair, which was pulled into a pony tail and covered with a chef bandanna, making me wonder if cooking was something she did for a living.

Although I bowed out of politeness, I didn't say anything and she didn't appear to take offense to that. Even though I wasn't trying to be cold toward her, I wasn't really sure what to say… just a few hours ago I didn't even know I had a step-mother and mere months ago I didn't know I had a little brother. The least they could do was be patient with me.

"Will you sit by me?" Riku asked, popping up seemingly out of nowhere and taking hold of my other hand while Hana let go of the one she had taken.

"Uh… sure." I responded awkwardly.

He pulled me with him to his families chabudai, sitting down with his hands rested in his lap. For someone who lacked personal space awareness he had surprisingly good table manners, he even held chopsticks properly.

That being said, this truly might have been the most awkward situation of my entire life, suddenly entering the home of the long lost family I didn't realize I had with the father who had abandoned me and continued to pretend it wasn't a problem. They seemed so… proper. Something I wasn't at all accustomed to. I normally tried to be mindful of my own manners but between my team and my friends at school, I wouldn't call what was happening in front of me a situation I had experienced much of.

When we would eat at Tyson's house it usually involved him shoveling insane amounts of food in his mouth and the rest of us staring in disbelief until his grandpa hit him and told him to be polite. Actually he had even let me be the one to hit him once. I think that might have been the first time my team had seen me smile in a way that wasn't condescending but due to me genuinely enjoying myself.

"I'm sure this must be very strange for you." Hana said after some silence. "To suddenly be placed in our home like this. I know you and your father aren't close, but you're our family and you're always welcome here. You're even in our photo album, I've never liked the idea of hiding the fact that you're Riku's brother, he's grown up always knowing you exist."

"We watched you on the TV last year." Riku reminded me while struggling to hold onto the tea kettle. I made a quick decision to help him, filling his cup and then mine. "Thank you." He said before continuing his original sentence. "Some of my friends didn't think you were really my brother, I had to bring a picture of you and dad to show them, they think it's so cool!"

Actually now that I thought about it he reminded me a bit of Tyson, minus the manners and better hygiene. So much of his excitement seemed to come not from the fact that I was a world champion, but that I bladed in general and that I was good at it. His interest in competing was still new enough where he wanted to enter tournaments because he enjoyed the game, not for any kind of title. It made me wonder if I had ever been like that… playing just because I wanted to.

Thankfully I didn't need to say much during dinner, Riku spent most of the meal talking about himself and school. I think he told me no less than four times that he could write his name, which was entertaining when you realized he couldn't actually pronounce our last name very well.

"Riku," His mother called after going back into the kitchen. "Help clean up, please."

"Yes Mama."

He gathered his things awkwardly, attempting to carry as much as he could at one time. Once again I found myself helping him. We clearly seemed to share a stubborn streak, but he appeared much less reluctant to accept help than I had always been.

Hana thanked me for the help before suggesting that Riku show me where I would be staying, something that ended in him giving me a tour of the entire house that I absolutely did not ask for.

"This is the bathroom, and this room is just a closet but it has towels and stuff in it, this is my mom and dads room but I'm not supposed to go in there." He pulled me around rather relentlessly, showing more enthusiasm toward a bathroom than most people did when touring a major city. "This is my room," He continued, opening one of the doors in the hallway. "You're gonna sleep in my bed and I get to sleep on the floor this week. I've never had a sleepover before, have you?"

I couldn't help but feel bad about kicking a child out of their own bed, something completely unnecessary as I would have been completely fine using a sleeping bag, but he seemed oddly excited about being on the floor, taking in the idea of a new experience. I was sure he would learn quickly that there wasn't really anything exciting about it, I had slept on Tyson's floor before and it honestly wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world. I had always wondered why he would choose to sleep on the ground with us instead of just in his own bed… but that might just be me being antisocial.

It was a bit strange now that I looked around… Riku's room didn't seem like what you would expect from a five year old. It was oddly tidy and everything was colored either brown or beige. He also didn't seem to have much in regards to books or toys, which was odd for a kid who was so young.

Similar to the room I remember growing up in, he had a large rug covering the wood floor and a wooden end table with a lamp. He also had a medium sized window that was currently covered by a dark curtain, probably because there was no point in opening and closing it every day.

An uncertain sounding grunt caught my attention and my thoughts were interrupted by my father knocking quietly on the door frame, still looking at me about as awkwardly as I looked at him. Neither of us really seemed sure what to say to one another and the only reason I wasn't putting up a fight in regards to staying here was because I didn't want to hurt Riku's feelings.

I still didn't want to stay here.

He cleared his throat, inviting himself in without eye contact.

"Hana and I thought it would be a good idea to get you a cell phone. Since you're boarding I'm guessing not a lot of people have ways to get a hold of you unless they're your classmates. We spoke to your case worker and she didn't see any problem with it."

He handed me a blue flip phone. It wasn't anything super fancy or anything, but the possibility that he was trying to buy my love was still definitely something to be looking out for.

Still, if I had a phone I would be able to call Wyatt and let him know I'm alright.

"Thank you." I said quietly. I was attempting to show I was grateful but I couldn't bring myself to actually make eye contact. I wasn't ready for that. "Would it be okay if I took a walk?"

"Yes, of course."

Bowing politely, I walked back to the front of the house and to the door. I could hear Riku bickering with my dad about wanting to go with me and being hushed and told that teenagers need their own space sometimes and to let me be for a bit.

I don't think he actually understood what had happened or why I was staying here… I was just kind of a toy he got to have for the week and didn't want to let out of his sight. Which wasn't his fault, after all he was only five.

I looked at the phone my father had given me once I got outside, flipping it open and frantically trying to remember Wyatt's phone number off the top of my head. He had written it in my planner months ago and I always passed it when turning the pages. I had probably looked at that number hundreds of times.

Trying not to overthink it, I dialed, not being able to do much other than hope I remembered it accurately. Listening to it ring was like waiting for a jump scare in a movie. My heart was pounding out of my chest.

"Hello?"

"Wyatt?"

"Yes?"

I had dialed the right number then, that was good.

"Wyatt, it's Kai." He had sounded confused when he answered the phone, like he wasn't used to getting phone calls from numbers he didn't know, and since we had never spoken on the phone before I don't think he had even considered the possibility it was me.

"Kai? Holy shit, where are you? No one will tell me anything, I've tried calling your social worker like three times. Are you okay? What the hell happened?"

I had to make at least some attempt to watch where I was walking in order to not get lost trying to get back, but right now I wanted to trap myself in my own head and just monologue to him every single detail that had happened and beg him to come get me.

"I'm in emergency custody or something… My case manager wrote up some paper that said I could stay with my dad for the week so that's where I am. I should be back at school on Monday, but it doesn't matter, are you okay? I've been worried."

I blushed slightly at the fact that I had told him I was worried about him, not wanting to come off as clingy. I wasn't one of those weird boyfriends who needs to know where their partner is at all times or what they're doing. I also wasn't officially his boyfriend, so there was that too.

"I'm fine." He said, slowing down a bit this time as he spoke. "It was just an accident, Kai, it's okay."

"I feel terrible..."

"I know I got freaked out and pulled away from you for a second, but it really is okay. You weren't even fully aware what you were doing." As though he hadn't yet taken in everything I said, he cut himself off for a moment, thinking. "Wait… did you say you're at your dads?"

"Yes." I admitted. "It's extremely awkward. I don't want to be here… apparently it was this or a group home. What happened after I left?"

"Are you going to be okay there? Do you want me to try and get to where you are? Are you still in the city?"

My goal hadn't been to worry him… just to make sure he knew I was alright.

"I'll be alright." Was all I said, sitting through an awkward few seconds of silence before he spoke again.

"You broke Haru's nose by the way, so that's fun."

I couldn't help but smile on the other side of the phone. If you can't take the heat, stay out of the ring. My enjoyment didn't last, though. I had nothing to be happy about.

"Wyatt… I said quietly, thankful no one could see the shame in my face. "I'm so sorry… I really fucked up. I don't know how I'm gonna get out of this."

Talking on the phone was nothing even close to talking in real life, mostly because it involved actually talking. Usually we would just lay together for hours at a time; usually I could hold onto him. Now I didn't even know what else to say without sounding like an absolute idiot.

Another pause.

"It's gonna be okay, you'll be back before you know it. I think you should call Tyson, though… or at least text him. He's been a bit freaked out that you haven't said anything to him yet, I think he's worried about you."

"I will never live down introducing you two, will I?"

"Kai, I'm serious. He's your friend."

I wasn't quite sure what that mattered, but I suppose after what I did I wasn't in the greatest position to be picking battles. Making it very clear through my voice that I was absolutely pouting about this, I promised to call him after I hung up (and after Wyatt texted me his cell phone number), now silently debating if I was going to regret giving Tyson my number. Now that I think about it, maybe I should wait until I can find a pay phone.

Reluctantly I called him, hoping he wouldn't pick up.

Unfortunately my hopes were wrong.

"Hello?"

He sounded like I had interrupted his After Lunch Nap, a trait that after staying in hotels with him I had learned was a normal part of his routine.

"It's Kai..." I was desperately hoping for this to be a quick call and not to be asked too many questions.

"Kai…? Kai, what the fuck!?" He shouted, as though now fully awake and also not very happy with me. "Where the fuck are you? I've been trying to reach you for days, where the hell are you calling from?"

"I'm fine, thanks for asking..." I said sardonically.

"Cut the crap, what the fuck is going on with you? You've been ignoring me for three days after I made it clear that I wanted to talk you you. I'm trying to help you for fucks sake!"

Did he really think I needed his help? He had broken my trust when the first article came out, how could he possibly think I would even accept it?

"Believe it or not Tyson, I've had more important things to do than listen to you mock me. I haven't even had time to think the last two days, I have shit that I need to figure out." My voice was cracking and I was trying to keep appropriate composure. At least he couldn't see me.

"Why the fuck would I be mocking you?" He said. "Where even are you? Wyatt said that you aren't at school and that he doesn't know where you are; he's freaked out."

"I got suspended for fighting. I don't have a family to be sent back to so my case worker needed to figure out what to do with me. I'm at my fathers… I'm not happy right now, but I'm alright."

"What's a case worker?" Leave it to Tyson's stupidity to make this conversation more awkward, I was really over being reminded again and again what had been happening to me. I felt like a little kid… I was more than capable of living on my own and taking care of myself. If they wanted me in boarding school then fine but I'm sick of not being able to make my own decisions.

"My CPS case worker…"

Similar to how Wyatt had before, Tyson got stuck in an awkward silence, as though he had forgotten that I was currently in the system and losing complete control of my life.

"Oh… yeah. Look, I just want to know that you're alright." He said. "I mean, I know you're probably not and I know you won't admit it, but you have friends who want to help you."

"Before or after you mock me?"

"Why the fuck do you think I'm making fun of you?"

"You laughed at me the first time."

"That's completely different, someone publicly humiliating you when you were drunk isn't the same as someone invading your personal life like that."

What did he mean?

He really hadn't been making fun of me?

"Did you tell anyone anything?" I asked shamefully.

"I haven't said anything and it's not a story that's getting much attention outside of training season, I'm not saying it might not pick up traction the next few weeks but you might be able to beat them to it if you just wanna be open about it. I think a lot of people suspected anyway… I mean, no offense."

I blushed, remembering what Haru and Tyson's friend Hillary had said, I didn't pay attention to media coverage and had never realized it was something anyone already wondered of me. None of my teammates had ever mentioned it or made fun of me for it. Not to mention that Tyson had himself told Hillary I wasn't gay, even though I didn't know the answer myself.

"Did you suspect…?" I asked.

"Does that mean you're admitting it?"

"Just answer the question."

The regular giggle I knew from Tyson came back, meaning he may have been getting more comfortable with this conversation even though I most certainly wasn't. I did believe he wasn't mocking me, though.

"Honestly, not until you had to go to the hospital… By the time Wyatt actually invited me to your dorm I was pretty certain, but it wasn't my business. I figured you would either tell us when you were ready or would tell us is was none of our business and yell at us until we shut up."

He had known… he had known and not said anything. I had wrapped my arm around Wyatt that night and pulled him into me. I had learned my head against his.

We were being obvious and I had assumed Tyson was just too self absorbed to get it. He knew and he had actively decided it wasn't his business to ask about.

Maybe he had matured within the past year.

"I wasn't planning on being public about it… I don't like that kind of attention on me."

"So just so we're on the same page, I am correct to assume that the great Kai Hiwitari does in fact have a big old crush on someone? Mr. Never Let Anyone In has finally softened up on us?"

"Shut up."

He giggled, but not in a way that seemed to be at me. More like he was happy to be let in on my secret… which apparently he had already had a hunch about.

Not sure what else there was to talk about, we said our goodbyes and I turned around. If I stayed outside too long they might think I was trying to run away and I already have enough drama without that.

The remainder of the day was awkward to say the least, consisting mostly of people attempting to talk to me and me for the most part ignoring them. Eventually we sat down to eat dinner, which was less impressive than lunch and made me wonder if they only made a big lunch because I was coming over. What an embarrassing thought…

Riku followed me most of the afternoon and evening and sometime just before his bed time resorted to climbing into my lap on the couch. Although he had very little understanding of personal space, he continued to be harmless.

"I'll be right back." He gasped in excitement as though suddenly remembering something he had wanted to show me.

I'm not sure exactly where he got it from, but he came back with a large book, somewhat older looking. He wasn't going to make me read to him, was he…? "Look." He said, handing it to me before climbing back on my lap.

It had suddenly dawned on me that I was looking at a photo album. Not of Riku and his family, but of my own.

The first photograph was of my parents, on what looked to be their wedding day.

"Have you always had this…?" I asked quietly. Seeing as we didn't share the same mother, he wasn't technically a part of the same family that I was. I wasn't sure why pictures of my mom would be of much interest to him. Even my father and Hana didn't seem quite sure what they should say, instead letting Riku take the reigns and seeing how I reacted.

Without speaking but still with a large smile on his face, he turned the page, revealing a few more photographs of my parents when they were young. I hadn't realized how beautiful my mother was… causing me to be a bit embarrassed at how often I was told I looked just like her. Turning the page again, I was met with a photo of only my mother, now visibly pregnant.

Lovely, not embarrassing at all.

I had assumed this was my parents wedding album but I had now come to the conclusion that it was my photo album from when I was a child while I came face to face with myself as an infant.

Okay, now it was embarrassing.

I was a very generic looking baby outside of the fact that I was apparently born with a full head of black hair. Actually it was a bit strange to see myself with black bangs as I continued looking through the book, still only accustomed to my normal head of gray hair.

By the time I saw pictures of myself as a toddler I definitely recognized the picture as me, I looked like myself, but it didn't feel real.

I looked like an actual kid; I looked happy. Even seeing myself asleep on my mothers chest there was no sense of restlessness on my face.

"I told you I never forgot you..." My father said sadly. "Not that I think I deserve your forgiveness, I know I don't."

I didn't respond right away. Hana had taken Riku to get ready for bed, leaving us alone in the living room not able to look each other in the eye.

"Why didn't you contact me?" I asked. "When you realized I had made it to the championship, I mean."

"Would you have spoken to me if I tried?"

He made a point. If he had tried calling me I likely would have hung up on him. Still, it didn't excuse him for leaving in the first place. I had stood at the doorway yelling for him, I had begged him not to leave me there.

"You had left me behind." I said coldly, keeping my head low to cover my face. "I couldn't forgive that."

I could sense his shame without looking at him. He knew he didn't deserve forgiveness. I wasn't heartless, it wasn't that I had no sympathy, but I couldn't even handle the idea of Wyatt being in danger, let alone flesh and blood. Maybe it was true that I would never understand, I had no children, I didn't know what the love between parent and child felt like. I didn't understand the things parents did for their kids.

The photo album ended when I was around seven, the last pictures of my mother taking place a few years before that. I could even see where Riku had taken the picture of my family out. He had removed another one from the same page, likely to keep for himself.

"I'd like to go to sleep now." I said, closing the book and standing up. Tears had begun forming in my eyes and I didn't want my father to see them. I had lost enough dignity today.

"I'm sure your brother is asleep already." He told me. "He takes after you at that age, out at the drop of a hat. Your mother used to always lay in your bed and watch you sleep, she always said you could see the true innocence of childhood by watching them dream."

I remembered the comfort of my mothers body laying in bed with me, her lips kissing the top of my head as she said her goodnight.

Bajuški-baju.