AN: Thank you all so much for following along and reading this story!

This chapter is mainly just a Meredith Chapter.. Lexie will be back in the next chapter. :)

And I apologize for any errors, its very hard to edit your own work.

The sound of clattering in the hall startled Meredith causing her to jump slightly. She glanced at the clock a little after ten. She must have fallen asleep herself trying to get Lexie to sleep. She sat up slowly and peered down at the figure next to her. Lexie's breathing slow and steady as she slept.

"Everything okay?" Meredith called out hearing more movement in the hall outside her door.

"Uh.. yeah. Sorry" April Kepner popped her head in the doorway "I am sorry, I didn't mean to wake you, I tripped on this tray.. I didn't see it. Sorry so sorry."

Meredith grimaced "Don't be sorry April, I meant to put that away and forgot."

"No worries, I'll take care of it" April offered as she craned her neck to get a better look in the room knowing it wasn't Derek in the room with her. She'd said good night to him just twenty minutes ago before she left for the evening. "Everything okay?"

"Lexie's not feeling well. She was running a pretty high fever." Meredith responded quietly "I was keeping her in here with me to keep an eye on it, and keep her from having to go up and down the attic stairs, and from spreading her germs around the entire house."

Realization filled April's eyes. "That explains so much!"

"What?" Meredith asked tilting her head to the side in confusion.

"Lexie, she's been very quiet the last few days, she must have been coming down with something" April nodded "I was really starting to worry about her."

Meredith placed a hand on Lexie's forehead still feeling heat radiate under the palm of her hand. Lexie showed no sign of feeling Meredith's hand on her. Proving to the older Grey she was at least getting some good sleep.

"You said the Last few days?" She asked turning her full attention back to Kepner.

April nodded as she took a step further into the room. "At least, she's barely talking to anyone… I can't remember the last time I heard her rattle off a fact.." She shook her head and rolled her eyes "The guys have said Lexiepedia seems to be down."

Meredith turned her head again to look at her sister, her frown growing. "April, has Lexie said anything to you about seeing anyone new?"

"No?" April raised her eyebrow "Why?" She then shook her head. "Meredith, I think her heart still belongs to Mark."

Meredith's heart panged against her chest for her sister. She knew Lexie loved Mark with every fiber of her being. But it didn't explain whose hand had been on her sister. Obviously it wasn't Mark. He loved Lexie just as much as she did him. Yet life was cruel and was keeping them apart. So had Lexie taken a leap? Had she tried to date someone else? If so…Who? "I know she still loves him."

April studied Meredith closely "Is everything okay?"

Meredith forced a smile as she nodded "Yeah, of course… Just curious…"

April took a deep breath "I know sisterhood doesn't exactly come easy for you, but maybe you should ask her? You're her sister. She'll talk to you, if you just ask…and you'd make her day, by asking."

Meredith scoffed slightly if that were true, Lexie would have told her what happened when she asked in the bathroom. Or maybe even come to her after whatever happened.. Happened.. Lexie loved her big sister. Meredith knew that.. She just wasn't sure she felt that she could come to her. If she was safe with her.

"I am serious," April insisted as she fully came into the room. "I know she's not Christina, but if you took the time to really ask her, and be interested in hearing what she had to say, she'd talk to you…I know she would.. I think you're the one person that could get the most from her, if you just asked..."

Meredith leaned over her sister slightly, her fingers hovering slightly over her ears as she rubbed her thumb and finger together lightly making a slight friction sound. She watched closely to see if Lexie responded to the sound at all. When she didn't even stir, Meredith knew she was sleeping soundly unaware of the conversation that was happening next to her. "Did she tell you that?"

Kepner shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "She doesn't have to. I live here too. I work with her too. I see the way she interacts with you…She's always respectful of you and your boundaries, but she wants more Meredith. She wants so much more. Always. She's proud of you, and looks up to you...You're her big sister... Even if you never wanted that role, it's yours...like most little sisters she looks up to you."

"You have sisters" Meredith stated "You told the Mr. Clark about them"

April winced remembering how she rattled off facts to a man pointing a gun at her, trying to make herself a real person to him. Trying to get him to spare her life, and for whatever reason it worked.

"Sorry" Meredith looked away knowing that the shooting was a sensitive subject for everyone. Not one they brought up alot.

"I have sisters" April nodded breezing over Meredith's apology. "Three of them.. Two younger one older"

Meredith nodded "And?"

April looked to Lexie then back to Meredith "Can I make you a cup of tea?" She asked. Not wanting to chance waking Lexie.

Meredith nodded as she glanced back to her sister. The younger Grey was still breathing soundly, but having the conversation right next to her while she slept didn't feel right.

"I'd love a drink. Something a little stronger than tea.," Meredith admitted as she climbed out of the bed carefully.

Lexie instantly tensed a small grumble and escaped making her look so much smaller and more vulnerable. Reminding Meredith of the time she sat next to Lexie's bed while she slept for 36 straight hours after being admitted into the phys ward for exhaustion. She'd felt out of her place and helpless then.

April winced "Sorry" She whispered as Meredith leaned back over the bed placing her hand on Lexie's head for a brief moment before running her fingers through her hair again. "You're home, and you're safe" She spoke quietly as she watched her sister's body relax again.

"Don't be sorry" Meredith smiled to April as she ushered her out of the room once she knew Lexie was settled again. "She's okay, for now."

"For now?" April picked up on Meredith's chosen words as she picked up the tray she'd tripped on and headed for the kitchen.

"Yeah, I mean until the fever breaks…It's going to be a battle…"

April nodded "Was it a high fever? Do we even have Tylenol in this house? I mean I think we do.. Enough of us have had drunken hangovers.. That's gotta be a staple" She rambled as she began to clean the soup bowls while Meredith grabbed a bottle of tequila and poured herself a generous shot.. "Callie, sent me home with a care package of flu supplies…"

"That was kind of her" April smiled

Meredith shrugged "She claimed it was to prevent Lexie from taking us all down, with her germs…" She swished her shot around the glass. "People like Lexie… They like helping Lexie…Lexie is a likeable Grey."

"You're likeable…" April tried… "People like you"

Meredith stared at the table before taking a small sip of the tequila. Allowing the warmth of it to wash down her throat. "I am the dark and twisty Grey, that they can't figure out, and often don't know what to make of. I think I am feared more than liked."

April placed the soup bowls into the top rack of the dishwasher as she looked to Meredith "I don't think you're feared… I think you're cared for and respected." She paused "It's Yang we all fear."

"Everyone loves Lexie" Meredith repeated ignoring the latter part of April's statement. "They are naturally drawn to her. She's bubbly, optimistic. Full of hope and smart…"

April nodded in agreement confused to where Meredith was taking this.

"And I told her she was a person, that I never wanted to have to know..." Meredith. "The person everyone likes, I turned my back on." She took a sip of her beer "So, tell me again, Why would my sister want to talk to me about anything? I am not a good sister… I really suck at being a big sister."

April closed the dishwasher before going to the fridge and pulling out a leftover piece of pizza and the remainder of salad. She joined Meredith at the table.

"When Lexie had a complete breakdown, who sat by her bedside for 36 hours while she slept?" April asked "Just shortly after miscarrying while her husband recovered from being shot?" She asked as Meredith looked up. "You left your still recovering husband to sit by her bedside, to watch her sleep!"

"I couldn't just leave her all alone" Meredith defended "And Derek was doing much better by that point…He was able to do a lot for himself, and you guys were all here…."

"Don't downplay it! You did what a sister would do." April reminded her. "You take care of her, all the time. Even if you don't realize you're doing it, but you do. I see it daily."

Meredith scoffed as April continued. "You don't suck as a sister Meredith, you were just thrown into the game a little later than normal. No you weren't there the day she came home from the hospital, all pink and new.. You didn't get to argue about who borrowed what without permission. Or fight over the sides of the room and if her kitten posters and smiley face stickers were clashing with your dark and emo room vibe."

Meredith paused for a moment trying to visualize sharing a room with Lexie as teens. She found herself smiling picturing the Hang In There kitten poster clashing with dark angry posters.

"Your parents failed you in a lot of ways...I know they loved you in their own ways., However their pain of their life stories robbed you. Robbed your sisters. I think you would have loved being in Lexie and Molly's lives from the beginning. From having your step mother around as you grew. I think she could have been your stable parent, the one that nurtured while the others pushed success."

Meredith couldn't deny that Susan Grey had dentered Meredith's tough walls with the little bit of nurturing she'd managed to get in before she passed away. "

"We can't live in the what if's April" Meredith reminded her. "That's not what I got, and that's not what they got. We didn't get each other."

"You're still connected, Meredith. You and Lexie feel it." April swallowed a bite of her cold pizza. "You're figuring it out. You're feeling it out slowly. It just looks different, because you're missing the early years of learning about each other. If you'd grown up with Lexie, you'd know all her tells. You'd know what made her tick. You would have been there her entire life and watched her grow. Yet despite lost years, you're figuring it out…You know already she eats when she's stressed. I've seen you slip her peanut butter cups…That's taking care of her…"

Meredith sighed "I don't know, anyone could do that…:

"I know" April stated "I am a sister, I know. Your relationship with Lexie is very different then with anyone else you interact with. You push her. Yet I think you push her, because you know she can meet the bar and can succeed. You want her to succeed."

Meredith shrugged "She's a brilliant doctor."

April nodded "And you care. You protect her."

"I just sat by her bed, I mean Christina would have sat by my bed…"

April nodded "Yes, that's true. She's your dark and twisted sister. I am not just talking about you sitting by her bed Meredith. You do things for her, without even realizing you're doing them… I one hundred percent believe that only Lexie could have talked you into donating part of your liver to your father. You did that for Lexie…You protected her!"

Meredith couldn't argue that. She had agreed to do the surgery for their father. For Lexie. Yes in the end she told him the was open, but she wouldn't have gotten there without Lexie.

"Lexie also looks out for you.." April added "It's a two way street."

"She's got experience being a sister" Meredith mumbled "She was.. Is a big sister."

April nodded "Yep, and she had her whole life to learn that role. However like you she's just learning how to be the little sister."

Meredith raised her eyebrow at that statement.

"She gets compared to you daily... She has to live in your shadows. She has big shoes to fill and she aims for it! She never complains about being called little Grey.. Because she respects you. She looks up to you" April began to chuckle "and trust me you get under her skin like nobody else. That's a true sister."

Meredith sighed "But does she trust me?"

April nodded "Yes."

"I don't think she does" Meredith shook her head thinking about what she'd seen.

"Whatever is going on, is obviously deeper then the flu" April said after a quiet minute "She may not trust herself… She may not see value in herself where she's at at this moment…She may not understand herself enough to be able to express to you what it is she needs." Apri looked to Meredith "She trusts you.. Now trust yourself to be her big sister."

Meredith sighed what if I am not good enough to be that person. She thought to herself.

"Nobody really gets the choice, on if they become siblings or not. It happens" April said calmly as if she read Meredith's mind. "Neither of you asked for the other, but you got each other...and that is the gift."

Meredith finished the rest of her drink quickly. Closing her eyes she pondered April's words. "Having a sister is good." She agreed. "I do like that Lexie Grey is mine."

"You got a great one" April nodded "And trust me, as someone who has both older sisters and younger sisters I know what it's like to be the big sister, and I know what it's like to be the little sister. It's not always easy. It is never sunshine and rainbows and smiley face stickers. It takes work. Yet it's rewarding. Just talk to her." April encouraged. "Maybe not while she's feverish

though."

Meredith nodded "Thanks April."

"I am glad that she has you." April smiled "And if you need anything, I am here. I know I am not your usual go to gal, but I can encourage you."

Meredith nodded "I know" She placed her shot glass on the counter. and glanced up the stairs. "I should get back to her, in case she wakes up."

"Of course" April nodded "There is no handbook Meredith, but trust yourself… That's what really matters. Trust yourself."

Meredith laughed "Should have seen me shoving Lexie into a sweatshirt just a few hours ago...I am winning at this sister game tonight…:

"Could be worse, you could have let her fever clouded mind walk out into the pouring rain get chilled then get Pneumonia and be out of commission for weeks."

"I like you, Kepner" Meredith smiled before heading up the stairs.

Meredith had no sooner gotten to her room when her cell chimed from the bedside table. She quickly grabbed it as she climbed back into bed. This time Lexie didn't even stir.

"Hey" Meredith answered the phone quietly.

"Everything okay?" Derek's concerned voice came through the line after hearing her quiet reserved greeting.

"I am okay" Meredith smiled but kept her tone low. "But I have replaced your spot in our bed for the night….You caught me."

"Christina okay?" Derek asked as he stretched out on an Oncall bed.

"As far as I know' Meredith nodded "I should text her later, see how her evening is going." She smiled trying to picture Dere's confused face as he pondered her words.

"If Yang isn't in my bed, who is?" Derek asked sitting up.

"Lexie, and she's sleeping right next to me." Meredith whispered "When you come home in the morning, we still may be here.."

" I'll nap on the couch" Derek said knowingly "If I get home before you two get up." He settled back down "Is she okay? She's been really quiet the last few days."

Meredith sighed inwardly. Had she been the only one that hadn't noticed her own sister wasn't okay? "She's come down with a fever" She supplied after a second. "I brought her in here to keep an eye on it, and make sure she didn't fall down the stairs and break her neck. I didn't feel like getting sued this week."

"Meredith?" Derek asked sensing there was more.

Meredith leaned back against her pillows as she closed her eyes. "I am out of my league over here."

"You're a doctor" He stated "You can treat the flu…" He paused for a moment knowing Meredith meant more than Lexie being sick. He knew she wasn't comfortable in her role as sister. Even though he was watching her grow in it daily. The Grey sisters were special. Everyone around them saw it. They just had to learn to trust in themselves as they learned to trust each other.

Bringing down those walls would be scary, painful and rewarding.

"I believe in you, Mere." He smiled "What can I do, to help you?"

Meredith glanced down at Lexie who shifted in her sleep. "In a few days from now, when I really want to kill someone, don't let me.. No matter what I say… I won't be much help in prison.."

"I won't let you kill your sister" He promised with a chuckle. "Even if treating a sick sister is harder than a regular patient."

Meredith shook her head "It won't be hurt, that I plot to kill.: She promised. "And you have to promise me. You won't kill anyone.. Or let Mark for that matter...Promise me.."

Derek found himself sitting back up again "I promise...Meredith, is Lexie okay?"

"No" Meredith answered truthfully "But we're going to help her be okay."

"I…"

She took a deep breath "I can't answer your questions yet, until I get answers to my own, but first I have to treat the fever.." She ran her fingers through her hair as she looked down at her sister "And thankfully, treating the sick is something I actually do know how to do."