"So why didn't you become a trainer?" Ryan asked Alex as the group walked into Viridian Forest.

"I don't know. Smash, probably."

"Are you going to become a professional Super Smash Bros. Pokemon player instead?"

"Alright," replied Alex.

"Okay, cool." Ryan was perplexed by this boy's speech, but he nonetheless went with it. "So you have a pretty great team, huh?"

Alex nodded his beautiful little Asian face. Ryan didn't even think it looked whiny one bit. "Yeah, I was born to be a winner."

"Do you want to be the best, like no one ever was?" Ryan asked, his eyes wide as dalmations.

"Don't ever say that to me," Alex scowled. He whipped his yo-yos back and forth. He whipped his yo-yos back and forth. "I am born to be a winner, hands down. Not what you said. That's just dumb."

This bizarre, cringeworthy behavior would surely be regretted by Alex in about five years, Ryan knew, but he said nothing about that. "Well, can you train me? I wanna get better!" He looked over at Kelly, who was talking with Rahul about how many poppers Rahul could eat in one minute. "I wanna be the best there ever was."

"Yeah, alright," Alex said in a very deep voice - perhaps too deep for someone his size. "Once we get to Viridian City, I've gotta brb dishes, but afterwards, I can show you the book I've been putting together. Rahul wanted to look at it too."

"Huh? A book?"

"I've been taking notes on the best Pokemon and how to use them," Alex explained. "Despite people using Pokemon for battle for years, only I have been able to find this secret strategies. It's not widespread information. I won't be telling very many people. I'm the only one in the world, pretty much, who knows which Pokemon are the best."

"Woohoo!" Ryan shouted, punching the air. "I'm gonna be a part of the 1%!"

From up ahead, a Growlithe sprung from the bushes and came running over to the group. Riding him was a small Asian man with stark white flowing hair, a fine black-and-white suit with a red tie, and a dazed grin on his face. "1% solar diminishing is nothing to write home about," the man explained to the group, who stopped as his Growlithe started prancing about in front of them. "But look, an Alien Megastructure," the man said amiably, pointing to a hive of Kakuna perched on a nearby tree. "Truly spectacular! That is off-scale! 15-22% diminishing light return. Remarkable! We've finally made contact."

"What are you going on about, old man?" Kelly asked him, annoyance high in her voice.

"Uahhhahahahhh, hi… you're assaulting me!" the man said, almost falling off his Growlithe. He seemed startled that there was anyone there to speak to him.

Kelly raised an eyebrow. "You're the one who came out of the bushes to come over to us."

"Ah yes, bits of matter and antimatter are 100% efficient when they touch one another."

"Well, who are you?" Rahul asked him, his hands flailing into the air like some blow-up clown at a car dealership.

"Hello. I am Dr. Michio Kaku," the small man said happily, "professor of theoretical physicist at Smogom University."

"Yeah, but how is that relevant?" asked Ryan.

"Well, theoretically, we are all in the Viridian Forest," Dr. Kaku pointed out. "And Einstein liked to play the violin. Me, I like to ice skate."

"Are you gonna lead us to Viridian City?" Kelly asked.

"If you want," Dr. Kaku said. "Okay, let's go. And we're off! Welcome to the Dr. Kaku theoretical tour of the most dangerous forest in the physical world."

And thus, the four were off, Dr. Kaku's Growlithe leading them. As they went, they stared at the old man who seemed so oblivious to everything around him. He pointed this way and that, remarking on the crazy things he was seeing. "Ah yes, some scientists are saying that dark matter hides in bushes," he said to the four trainers. "It is a new and exciting age of discovery."

"We should ditch this guy," Rahul put forth.

Kelly shook her head. "No, we need to get through this forest as quickly as possible. If he leads us out, it's worth it."

So the trainers did not ditch poor Kaku-san. They kept going along at a brisk pace until they came to a clearing in the trees, where a group of people were lying on the ground ahead of them. Every one of them held a bug catching net in their hands, and they were all lying on the ground, appearing dazed. Several of them had Pokemon knocked unconscious next to them. Upon seeing this, everyone ran over to the group of bug catchers, sans Kaku-kun who continued along at his regular pace, seemingly not seeing what Ryan, Kelly, Rahul, and Alex had seen. He began humming tunelessly to himself and would occasionally say, "At the present time, we are really clueless as to what natural phenomenon causes comets the size of Jupiter to migrate west for the winter."

Ryan ran up to the nearest trainer, who was covered in bruises and scrapes and asked, "What happened?"

"Oh… it was terrible.." the bug catcher gasped. "A-a-a… d-demon… he took all of us out. He's was riding on a dragon…"

"No it wasn't… a d-dragon," another fallen bug catcher replied. "It… it was Gojira!"

"Gojira.." an old bug catcher murmured as he held a lit lighter to his face, "Gojira…"

"I think it was a new kind of Pokemon," another croaked.

"No, definitely not," a fourth argued.

"Alright, so he was riding on a dragon or he wasn't. But why did he attack you?" Ryan questioned the bug catchers.

"H-he… challenged us to a fight…" one said. "But we… we only h-had Metapods. We stood no chance. It was a massacre..."

"I-I had a Weedle," one pointed out. "I named him Mr. Weddle."

"We were no match for his awesome power!"

"But why were you all standing out here in the wilderness if all you had were Metapods?"

One shrugged and then fell over into a ditch. "We're bug catchers. We're supposed to just stand out here and let guys battle us even though we don't have Pokemon with any offensive moves."

"Metapod used Harden!" Rahul laughed, and then raised his hand to high five Alex, but Alex didn't return the gesture because he was too busy not paying attention.

"Don't worry," Ryan said, feeling his Pokeballs in his backpack. "I've got a great team of Pokemon! I'll find this Dragonrider and take him out!"

"Bless your sole, wee lad," said a tiny bug catcher lying in a puddle who could have been no older than thirty-five. "Godspeed and thanks for all the fish."

Alas, Ryan had not a Magikarp to give. With that, all of the bug catchers fell over again in exhaustion and defeat. Ryan noticed a Spearow sitting on a rock nearby. Annoyed, the teal-haired boy threw a rock at the bird, causing it to squawk and fly off into the forest.

Dr. Kaku came trotting by then, and suddenly shot off his Growlithe like a bullet into the tall grass. A Caterpie rose up and screeched as if it was going to attack him, causing Michio to run screaming back to his Growlithe. The loyal Growlithe easily took care of the Caterpie with a breath of flame. Once he was back on his Growlithe, Michio Kaku held up a little piece of candy in a blue wrapper. "Rare candy," he laughed. "Bottoms up!"

With that, Dr. Kaku ate the rare candy. A white light seemed to encapsulate him, and he began to rise in the air for a second. And then, the good doctor descended from the heavens back down onto his Growlithe. "Yes," he began, "this is most fortuitous. Einstein once called rare candy the lowest octave of the symphony of String Theory. Ah yes, that appears to be correct. I will have to travel to the nearest black hole to tell him."

"Look old man, can't you just lead us through this forest or not?" Kelly asked him, stomping her foot. "I don't have time for your cockamamie nonsense."

"Auahaha! The cookie people are coming for me!" Dr. Kaku nearly fell of his Growlithe again, but his Pokemon, apparently well-aware of Michio's penchant for falling off of him, caught him at the last second. With that, Michio Kaku laughed. "I almost found dark energy once when I was in the Baja."

"Who said… the Baja?" asked a cool voice. At once, a large bald man with the remnants of blond hair trailing down the back of his scalp jumped out from behind a tree. "I used to live down in the Baja, not a computer within twenty miles of me. That way the government couldn't track me, see. I was a governor, a fighter, a Navy SEAL, and I still wasn't allowed to have a computer! Jet fuel can't melt steel beams."

"Ah yes," Michio Kaku replied with a smile. "Jet fuel can't melt steel beams. That is indeed true."

"It's a conspiracy. The HAARP system is trying to take us over with mind control! Mind control!" the man replied.

"What the heck is going on?!" Kelly shouted, causing the very trees around to shake. Pidgeys took the sky, and Kakunas began to evolve into Beedrills so mighty was Kelly's scream. It made Ryan feel good in the pit of his stomach to see her do that. "I just want to get to Viridian City!"

"Heh, whoa, hold on there kiddo," the bald man said, rubbing his black leather jacket with one of his hands. "I'm the governor, Jesse Ventura, and I know a thing or two about conspiracies. The dragonrider is a Pokemon conspiracy," he explained. "And I've tracked him to this forest. Like the bigfoot or the yeti or the Baja Bobo, he is a mythical creature."

"Ah, but the Dragonrider is a mere Pokemon trainer," said Dr. Kaku. "Everything you say is wrong."

"Nonsense!" grumbled Jesse. "I was a former Pokemon SEAL. Ha! I should know. Are you going to tell me that there's a dragon Pokemon? Ha! Think again. There's no such thing. Whoever this Dragonrider is, I'm sure he's using thermite paint to beat up on these poor helpless people," Jesse "The Body" Ventura replied, pointing at the hapless bug catchers. "It's an inside job!"

"Please," Michio Kaku laughed. "Thermite paint is just the wallpaper of the new computer technology that will let you put anything you want on your cyber walls in 10-15 years with no repercussions. If you want to throw spaghetti at the walls, now you can with virtual spaghetti on your computer wallpaper! What is really intriguing is that the positrional force of these walls will release anti-neutrinos for Pokehavesting," the theoretical theorist explained. "What an age to live in!"

"It's a conspiracy! I'm going to find that Dragonrider! I bet it's a government drone! I'd bet my tv show on it."

"Actually… it was a kid with brown hair and green eyes riding on a dragon," one of the bug catchers replied, but Jesse "The Body" Ventura didn't have time for that jive turkey.

"Be sure to eat any rare candy you come upon," Dr. Kaku advised Jesse. "You will need several bushels of them."

Jesse just brushed him off and ran into the bushes. However, as he got to the bushes, he grabbed a random berry and ate it right then and there, perhaps assuming it was a rare candy. The man proceeded to make a sour face, as if he had just swallowed a salty penny, and then ran off in embarrassment.

"Ah, it looks like the tall American man ate a poisonous berry," Dr. Kaku said. "Very good. He will most certainly die within 48 hours. Now let's get to Viridian City."

"Yeah, and let's find this Dragonrider!" Ryan replied. "Maybe if I beat him, I can have his dragon. I've always wanted a dragon!"

"Idiot, you can't steal someone else's Pokemon," Kelly replied. "Besides, when your Dragonair evolves, it'll be a Dragonite, and Dragonite is a Dragon-type Pokemon."

Ryan blushed. "Yeah… I knew that!"

From Ryan's pocket, his Pokedex said, "Not true master, I have never told you that before, and anything I have not told you, you do not know."

"Shut up, Dexy!" Ryan whispered, hoping that Kelly hadn't heard the errant device babbling. She didn't appear to.

The rest of the trip through Viridian Forest went with little incident. One time, Ryan thought he saw a boy in a Samurai outfit running about with a Pinsir chasing him, but perhaps that was merely a mirage. At one point, Rahul woke a hive of Beedrills when he complained about not getting powdered sugar for his breakfast pancakes. At that point, Ryan and Kelly had sent forth their fire Pokemon to quell the tide. Ryan was very satisfied with Aegon the Charmeleon for cooking up all of those Beedrills to a crisp (Rahul had complained that the burning of the Beedrills had roused a hunger in him for some fried chicken, and he had no fried chicken) and he was glad Matata wasn't around to see such devastation. At the conclusion of the fight, however, Aegon had refused to go back in his ball, seemingly angry that Abra got to stay out of his Pokeball (the sweet lad was perched on Ryan's shoulder like a pirate's parrot), so Ryan was forced to leave his disloyal Charmeleon out.

"Fine," he said. "But don't do anything bad and don't set the forest on fire."

"Yes, we are a type 0 society," Dr. Kaku said, "because we can only harvest energy from dead plants such as these."

"I want to harvest your brain for Rahul," Alex said so quietly that Ryan barely heard him.

And even our blue-haired protagonist had to laugh at that.

There was no sign of the Dragonrider, and indeed, no sign of Jesse Ventura for the rest of the trip. Ryan had tried catching a Caterpie, since he wanted a Butterfree, but Alex had advised him against it, since Butterfree is a useless Pokemon. As they came to the edge of the forest, the sprawling expanse of Viridian City came into view.

"Finally!" Kelly shouted, dropping to her knees. There seemed to be tears in her eyes. "I thought we'd never make it after all that nonsense before."

"Never fear," said Michio Kaku. "If I travel at nearly the speed of light, I will age less than you. On the next trip to Viridian City, I will go so fast, I will age only a few minutes, while you will age several years," he said with a long smile. "Ah that would be wonderful. And if we took the trip enough times you would eventually be older than me. I am looking forward to that day when you are even older than me."

"Dude, shut up. You're as uncool as Saint Elmo's fire!" Kelly yelled. "Now that we're here, you need to go back to wherever you came from. I don't want you following us anymore."

"Uahahahahaahah, don't hit me with a brick!" Michio Kaku screamed, nearly falling off his Growlithe.

But instead of responding, Kelly walked furiously off towards the city. This puzzled Ryan, and he noticed that Alex and Rahul were also standing there with wide eyes.

He turned to his Pokemon. "What do you think guys? Should we leave Dr. Kaku here?"

"Meleon," Aegon hissed, breathing a wisp of flames. He crossed his arms and looked away from Ryan.

"Dang, he's giving me the sass mouth!" Ryan despaired. "Abra, help!"

"Bra."

"You too, huh?"

"Rah."

"Dang." Ryan looked at the other two boys. "Well I guess we should go then."

"Yeah, let's go," Alex said gruffly.

"To Viridian City!" said Rahul heroically, holding up his Doctor Who screwdriver. "Never cruel nor cowardly, never give up, never give in! I will lead us to safety!"

And thus the three boys ran off after Kelly.

Behind them, Dr. Michio Kaku watched them. "Don't forget… jet fuel can't melt steel beams. Oh, no, no, no. But, it can loosen up the metal just enough to make the building collapse. Ah yes, I am a genius. Now let's go find that Alien Superstructure I saw before. Come on, Lil Jimmy, let's go!"

Pity Jesse the Ventriloquist wasn't there to hear him. With that, Dr. Kaku spurred his Growlithe around and the two raced off into Viridian Forest at near light speed, where many powerful monsters (levels 4-6) awaited them.

Alex had gone home to fulfill his destiny to do the dishes. Rahul was out looking for food and Doctor Who DVDs and girls (and perhaps not in that order). That left just Ryan and Kelly alone in the streets of Viridian City.

It was evening in Viridian City, and the activity in of the people in it was rather muted, with few people still out and about. The two stood in front of the city's Gym, its great imposing archway looking down upon them like the small creatures they were. Neither spoke for a long time.

"Don't you want to train your Pokemon some more before going in?" Ryan asked her, finally breaking the silence. Abra was on his shoulder, and Charmeleon was holding his hand like a little lost child. "Come on, just a few more days of training!"

"No, I think I'm ready," Kelly replied. She shrugged, "And even if I lose, I can train my Pokemon afterwards."

"Yeah, I guess."

Kelly turned to Ryan, who bowed his head so as to not look her in the eyes. "You're an inexperienced trainer, Ryan." She touched his shoulder. "But, you'll get better. And I'm sure when we meet again in the Indigo League Tournament, you'll be a real match for me." He did not respond. The pink-haired girl removed her hand from his shoulder. "You better hurry and get those last five badges. Time's running out." He nodded, but still kept his eyes trained on the floor. "Okay then, well I guess I better get going. See ya later!"

"Yeah, see you…"

Ryan turned away and closed his eyes. He bit his lip.

"Oh and Ryan," Kelly's voice called from behind him.

"Yeah?"

"It wasn't that bad traveling with you. Really, I had fun," she said. Ryan turned and met her eyes. They looked like painted roses in the light of the dying sun. "When this is all over, let's go on another adventure together, okay?"

"Yeah… sounds good…" Ryan replied. He felt numb, his voice sounded small, and he didn't know what else to say.

There was nothing else he could have said, though, for at that moment, Kelly turned back around and strode confidently into the Viridian City Gym, a Pokeball already in her hand. She's ready to win, he thought as he watched her go. I wish I was too.

"Come on guys, let's go," the blue-haired boy mumbled to his Abra and Charmeleon.

Abra, nearly asleep on Ryan's shoulder let out a sleepy, "Abra!" Ryan gave him a good couple scratches behind the ear for that one.

"Charmeleon Leon meeeeel!" Aegon protested. He tried to shake off Ryan's hand and run off, but Ryan held on firmly.

"Whoa now, boy, don't you leave me too! Come on, let's go!" And when Charmeleon simply growled and didn't budge, Ryan took out Aegon's Pokeball and held it in front of his snout. "If you don't want to go back inside, you better listen to me, Aegon!"

And that, it seemed, did the trick, for fear danced across Aegon's eyes like flames of wildfire, and he decided that he would rather obey his master than go back in the Pokeball. So off they went, together, Ryan and two of his favorite buddies, and nothing was the matter, no sir.

Later, Ryan reunited with Rahul and Alex, who were intent on setting out for Pewter City, the location of the next gym, that very night. He couldn't object. He didn't want to stay in Viridian City a moment longer. Not until I'm ready to fight this city's Gym Leader.

So after they healed their Pokemon at the local PokeCenter and bought some goodies from the local PokeMart (Ryan bought some Kiwis, while Rahul bought some deep fried cupcakes and unsuccessfully tried to hit on the cashier (he tried to impress her by telling her he was a brony, which didn't impress her at all), and Alex, the poor bloke (cuz he's gonna be a teacher when he grows up) couldn't afford to buy a single thing). Then, they packed their bags and headed out towards Pewter City.

"So Kelly's gone?" Rahul asked.

"Yep," Ryan replied.

"Well at least we can move faster now," Alex grunted. "Since she's a girl."

Ryan tugged on Aegon's hand and led him forward to the edge of the city, Alex and Rahul not far behind. There, they witnessed a most peculiar sight.

Out from the forest behind the road, a boy with brown hair, green eyes, and a white shirt came strolling out on the back of a magnificent Porygon, as noble as any destrier Ryan had ever beheld at Summerhall in his youth. The other boy did not at first notice the three travelers, and as he dismounted, he spoke with cool wit:

"Nice work, Dragonmaster. We got those fakers."

"Dragonmaster?!" Ryan suddenly shouted. The other boy looked up and they locked eyes. Ryan instantly remembered him as Charlie - the boy he met in the Pallet Town Diner not but a few chapters before. "You!" he shouted, running forward, Aegon mercilessly in tow. "You're the one who defeated all of those bug catchers! You're the Dragonrider!"

The boy just smirked raised his arm in the air before dabbing with magnificent grace. It was like he had just lost the final round of a debate tournament or something.

Before Charlie could speak, however, another person emerged from the bushes. Nay, it was no bandit nor any wild Pokemon spoiling for a hopeless fight. It was, in fact, the balding former governor of Minnesota, who was also once a professional wrestler. In all black he stood, his meager strands of hair connected to the back of his scalp waving in the breeze. There he was: Jesse Ventura - the governor, the fighter, the Navy SEAL.

"I've found you, Dragonrider!" he screamed, his eyes two beady flecks of tar, his mouth foaming like someone had just poured hydrogen peroxide down Rosie O'Donnell's throat. "Now you're mine."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," the brown-haired boy said, taking a step back. Ryan realized that Charlie no longer had an accent, which was strange, since the last time they had met, he had been sure the kid had had a southern twang to his speech. Maybe he lost his accent, though. Those are easy to lose.

"I was a governor, a fighter, a Navy SEAL," Jesse said. "And I know you're part of the conspiracy, man. That dragon of yours is covered in thermite paint!"

"Yeah, I painted him myself," Charlie replied, looking at Dragonmaster. "Do you like how he looks?"

"He could blow at any moment! He could bring the towers down!" Jesse looked horrified. "Think I won't deal with this? I'm a former governor! It's my duty to protect the innocent! Give me your dragon. Are you really gonna refuse a former governor?"

"Yeah… man, I'm not doing that."

"Then it's a battle!" Jesse took a Pokeball off of his belt. "And this former Navy SEAL ain't laying down so easily. If you think your mind control's gonna work on a former fighter, heh, think again!"

"Alright dude, whatever," Charlie replied nonchalantly. "Let's destroy this guy, Dragonmaster."

"What did we just walk into?" Ryan asked the others.

"I don't know, but whatever it is, it isn't good. That kid could be a real problem," Alex grunted.

"Whoo, go Dragonmaster!" screamed Rahul, waving a chicken wing to the sky.

And so, a great battle, perhaps not as great as the battle between Rahul and Alex, but still pretty great, began. This fight would decide the fate of the universe and Jesse's quest to find the thermite paint. As Michio Kaku would say, "Our grandkids will lead the lives of the gods of mythology. Zeus could think and move objects around. We'll have that power. Venus had a perfect, timeless body. We'll have that, too. Pegasus was a flying horse. We'll be able to modify life in the future." I don't know what he was smoking, but I want some of it. It's a shame he wasn't here to give us any.