AN: Thank you again for all the follows, comments and support. You are all amazing.
This is a heavy Meredith and Lexie focused story, but Mark will be showing up! He actually shows up in the next chapter. I couldn't have a story with Lexie without having Mark. I love all of your passion for this story. Your feed back and more. It seriously keeps me going.
Again I apologize for mistakes. Its hard proofing your own stuff.
Lexie sat on the edge of the bathtub, her feet soaking in some warm bubbly water, her eyes closed as Arizona stood behind her. Her fingers raked through Lexie's long dark hair as she gently yet meticulously weaved her hair into a French braid, getting it out of her face and out of the way.
"Let me know if I pull or hurt you." Arizona cautioned "I am trying to be gentle, but I have a hard head myself. I tend to just rip through my own hair."
"You're good," Lexie promised without opening her eyes. "It actually feels good. I love it when my hair is played with when I don't feel good."
"Me too." Arizona admitted. "It was the one consistent thing I could count on growing that never changed when we moved, my mom playing with my hair when I didn't feel good.." She leaned back grabbed a rubber band from the counter as she neared the end of the braid
"Days like today, I miss my mom more." Lexie admitted to Arizona "I wish she was here, but at the same time... Days like today I get so angry with her."
"It's okay to be angry at her, for not being here." Arizona stated quietly snapping the rubber band around the end of the braid.
"That's not why I am mad, I know she couldn't control dying and that she'd never left of us given a choice." Lexie sighed as she poked a bubble with her big toe. "I am mad that she knew about Meredith."
Arizona grabbed the clothing Meredith had sent in for Lexie to change in and moved to the side of the tub sitting next to the younger Grey facing the opposite way. Though she was temped to kick off her shoes and put her feet in the warm bubbly water. "Want to talk about it?" She asked gently. "Callie and Meredith can't leave without us, so take your time." Arizona focused on folding the clothing into a neat pile, so Lexie didn't feel pressured by her.
Lexie kept her head down as she watched the soapy bubbles swarm her feet. Part of her just wanted to sink all the way into the bathtub, add more water and sink to the bottom never to resurface again.
"My mom knew about Meredith" Lexie repeated. "Of course my dad knew about her too, and the two of them were too cowardly to face Ellis, and demand visitation with her." Her nostrils flared slightly. "Had they stepped up for Meredith, she could have had a second home to go to. She could have had summer breaks and holidays with us. She could have had someone be there for her. Maybe sit with her while she was sick, so the little girl didn't have to face everything on her own"
Lexie glanced to Arizona, "I know Meredith is amazingly strong, because of what she's endured, but it's a damn shame that she had to. When she had people who could have done more for her. Gifted her with childhood experiences. Trips to Disney, which she would have hated. Camping trips...Christmas mornings" Lexie's lip quivered "Not only did they hurt Meredith by not stepping up for her, they hurt me.. They denied me a childhood of knowing my big sister." She looked back to her lap "Meredith is smart like me...Maybe if we'd grown up together I wouldn't feel so alone sometimes.. and maybe she wouldn't have hated me...Maybe she could have been the person I could have always counted on. Maybe she'd know me so well that one glance in my direction she'd know what I was feeling, and maybe she'd actually care." Lexie paused "In the past, maybe she would have cared in the past." She added knowing that Meredith did tend to care more now a days.
Arizona went to reach out and rub Lexie's back but her hand halted mid way as she remembered the injuries she'd seen. Instead she placed her hand on Lexie's knee and squeezed it. "I think you have every right to be mad at them, for how they failed you and Meredith. I think it's okay for you to mourn what you could have shared with your sister." She encouraged Lexie with a smile "But honey, Meredith is in your corner now, and you can count on her." She then turned so she could get Lexie's attention. "The best part is you have the time now."
"I know" Lexie replied quietly "But I am still feeling, sad and mad...Especially right now...If we had the past maybe the now would just be easier."
"Easier to tell her what happened?" Arizona asked cautiously.
"Yes" Lexie sighed as her shoulders sagged a little.
Arizona grew quiet as she began to ponder what Lexie had just told her. Her fingers strummed the clothing on her lap as she thought about her next words carefully. "Can we dig into that a little? She finally asked. "You and me, can we dig into that statement?"
Lexie glanced at Arizona out of the corner of her eye before giving her a little nod. "I guess."
"Maybe it will help" Arizona offered "Lets say you'd known Meredith your whole life, you think telling her what happened would be easier?"
"Maybe" Lexie admitted "I like to think so.."
"Because you would know her better?" Arizona asked "Maybe know how she'd react?"
"Yes" Lexie brought in her lip and bit down for a moment "Or maybe I'd know not to tell her?" She bit her lip harder.
"Are you afraid of telling her now?" The blonde asked as she placed her hand back on Lexie's knee. "Are you afraid she's going to upset, or mad at you?"
Lexie's let go of her bottom lip as she looked at Arizona. "Maybe, a little?" She agreed. "Or maybe it'll hurt her?"
"Seeing you hurt right now, hurts her." Arizona said truthfully "I am not your sister, but I do care about you little Grey, and what I saw hurt me, for you."
Lexie's eyes fell back to her feet in the tub. "I am sorry" She said quietly "I didn't want anyone to know."
"I am not telling you this for an apology" Arizona insisted "I am telling you this, because I want you to understand how valuable you are. How loved you are." She squeezed Lexie's knee "And I can almost promise you, that Meredith is not going to be mad at you, no matter what happened. Nobody had the right to lay their hands on you, the way they did. She's going to be mad, but she's not going to be mad at you."
Lexie gave a slight nod "Logically I know you're right…" She turned to to look at Arizona "But I can't get myself to believe it." She glanced to where her clothing was waiting folded on Arizona's lap. "I should probably just get dressed, and get this over with."
"Going to the hospital is a good step, Lex" Arizona encouraged as she leaned down and pulled the plug of the drain in the tub letting out the little water that had been covering Lexie's feet. "The very least we can get you feeling better physically. Less pain?"
Lexie nodded "Yeah, I just hope that what happens doesn't cause Meredith more stress."
"Meredith's tough, and you of all people know that." Arizona reasoned "How about you focus on what Lexie needs for Lexie to feel better, and you leave helping Meredith to Callie, myself, Derek and Christina."
"She's my sister" Lexie replied quietly "I can't just turn off my worry."
"Not asking you too" Arizona promised "Just asking you to let us help her navigate this."
Lexie nodded "I'll try."
"Let me help, you get dressed?" Arizona offered as Lexie used her feet to kick down her rolled up pajama pant legs. "We will take this one step at a time."
"Thank you, Robbins," Lexie replied quietly.
Arizona wrapped her arm around Lexie's shoulder and pulled her close to her for a moment. The younger Grey rested her chin on Arizona's shoulder, closing her eyes and just taking in the comfort from the woman beside her that she didn't know she had needed.
"I am going to park towards the back of the hospital." Callie spoke quietly to Arizona as she glanced in the rear view mirror to check on the Grey sisters.
Lexie had her head against the window and her eyes closed and her breathing slow indicating she'd drifted off. A bowl rested on her lap in case she needed it while they drove her left hand rested in the middle, Meredith's hand resting on top of it. Offering support to her younger sister. Her worried eyes locked on her sister, not breaking the gaze.
Arizona glanced to the back seat herself and offered Meredith a small encouraging smile before turning her focus to Callie. "Sounds good, that way we can get her in, without drawing a lot of attention to her."
"I already asked Derek to get us a room" She whispered to Arizona "He pulled some strings, had Webber block off a room. We should have no interruptions and we can give Lexie the privacy she is needing."
Arizona nodded "I love the hospital, but gossip does spread like wildfire"
"And that's what we want to avoid, rumors and gossip." Callie agreed.
"You good back there?" Arizona turned her attention back to Meredith "Is it warm enough, are you hungry? I grabbed the dinner. Want a roll?"
Meredith turned her attention away from Lexie "I am not hungry." She assured her.
"You should eat." Arizona encouraged "When is the last time you ate?"
"I ate the other half of Lexie's toast earlier today, and April made me a big breakfast,"
"You should still eat." Arizona dug through the bag and found a roll passing it back to Meredith. "Soup is hard to eat in a car, but that's not."
Meredith took the roll with her free hand and took a bite to appease Robbins. "Thank you, Robbins."
Her stomach growled the minute the bread hit her tongue and she found herself devouring the roll quickly.
Arizona nodded approvingly before passing back a second roll and a bottle of water.
"I appreciate you" Meredith smiled as she kept one hand covering Lexie's, afraid if she moved it, she'd wake her sister from what looked like the first peaceful nap she'd gotten in hours.
"When we get settled in a room, you should eat some of the soup, or I can run and grab you a salad, or we can have Derek grab you something?"
"Arizona" Meredith smiled "I am okay, but thank you."
"Sorry" Arizona blushed "But I promised Lexie we'd look after you, while you looked after her."
Meredith's eyes went back to her sister. Leave it to Lexie to be more worried about Meredith's needs than her own.
"I'll eat something else before the night is over" Meredith promised.
Accepting that answer Arizona turned back in her seat. Callie reached out and placed her hand on Arizona's leg. They were all anxious and they all wanted to get Lexie feeling better.
"Was this a sexual assault?" Meredith finally asked the question that everyone had been dreading to ask.
Lexie blinked in surprise at Meredith's bluntness. They'd been at the hospital for over an hour now. She'd had scans, x rays, her blood drawn and Arizona had just hooked up another IV of fluids.
The room had already been quiet but now it seemed to freeze and all eyes landed on Meredith. Arizona's jaw dropping.
"Meredith…" Callie started out but Meredith cut her off quickly. "No, I am done not knowing, I don't know how to help if I don't have the full story. Damn it Lexie just talk to me!" She snapped before growing silent after just hearing what she had just said to her sister.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes "I am sorry, I didn't.." The older Grey paused as she found herself struggling with words. Never would she ever asked no demanded a patient what she just had her sister in that manner. She was a damn doctor and she knew bedside manners. She was good at it. This was not it. Her behavior was not fair to Lexie.
She slid off the table to give her sister some space "I need to go get some air" She responded quickly before darting out of the room.
The door shut quickly behind her. She heard Lexie's startled cry and the muffled voices of Robbins and Torres trying to calm her down.
Meredith's backed against the wall. Her hand going up to her chest as she forced herself to take several deep breaths trying to calm herself down.
"Meredith?"
Meredith turned to see Christina coming down the hall towards her, her pace picking up at seeing her distressed friend.
"What are you doing here?" Her eyes went to the closed door that Meredith was standing in front of. "Lexie?" She guessed "Did her fever spike? How come you didn't call me?"
Meredith shook her head "Her fever hasn't spiked, I think its gone down since Arizona got her ready."
Christina frowned trying to piece together what Meredith was saying. "Robbins got Lexie ready, got her ready for what?"
"To bring her here." Meredith replied, sliding down the wall.
Christina backed herself against the wall and slid down with her friend. Placing her hand on Meredith's knee. "You're not making a whole lot of sense to me right now. Robbins is with Lexie?" She guessed
"And Callie" Meredith responded as she wiped her cheeks and pulled back her fingers to realize her cheeks with tears she hadn't realized were even there.
Christina glanced back at the closed door. She could hear the muffled voices of Robbins and Torres, and what she believed was to be Lexie crying. "Lexie's with Robbins and Torres" She extended her hand to Meredith before pulling her up to her feet. "Which means for the very moment Lexie is in good hands."
Meredith gave Christina a confused look but allowed herself to be pulled to her feet.
"I can't leave you on the floor of the place you work, with snot running down your face." Christina stated.
Meredith's hands flew to her face. She felt her cheeks wet from the tears but thankfully her friend was embellishing on the snot running down her face. She wordlessly allowed Christina to lead her to the bathroom where Christina locked the door behind them.
"Christina, they don't like it when we do that." Meredith stated going to the sink "Something about actual patients or families of needing to be able to use it."
"Are you on the clock?" Christina asked.
"No" Meredith shook her, turning on the faucet.
"Are you here with your sister, who I am going to guess is not on the clock either?"
"She's not." Meredith agreed.
"Well, you're a family member who needs the whole bathroom to herself" She shrugged "But more importantly, what is going on?"
Meredith used a wet paper towel to wipe the tears away. She wished the paper towel would also wipe away the dark circles that formed under eyes."
"Meredith, why is your sister with Ortho and peds?" Yang asked again.
"They are friends," Meredith tried before letting her head fall. "I needed Callie to consult."
"On the flu?" Christina looked offended. "I could have done that, why didn't you call me Mer?"
"Not the flu Christina" her nostrils flared as she glared at herself in the mirror. "I am not even sure she has the damn flu anymore." Her hand hit the sink. It felt good to hit the sink. So she did it again with her palms. The slapping sound echoing off the walls. "Not the flu." She repeated as she slammed her hands down again. "I could have handled the flu." Again her hands connected with the porcelain.
Christina's eyes were wide as she watched Meredith slam her hands over and over again on the sink before she let out an angry scream and kicked the wall before turning around to face her friend. "I could have handled the flu! This I don't know how to treat Christina"
"I do not understand, Meredith, talk to me" Christina moved closer to the older Grey. She placed both hands on either of her friends arms moving her away from the sink so she couldn't hit it anymore before locking eyes with her. ."It's me, talk to me."
"Lexie" Meredith's eyes welled with tears. "God, I was just a complete ass to her. She needs me to advocate for her. Not force her to do what she's not ready to do."
"What does three not want to do?" Christina asked.
"Talk to me" Meredith's voice cracked. "Tell me what happened, and I am pushing her.. and she's already been victimized."
"Meredith" Christina's voice firm grabbing her friend's attention. "Are you saying Lexie is a victim? Has something happened to your sister?"
Meredith nodded "She's.. her body..She's so little Christina. They could have killed her hitting her that hard."
"I am trying very hard to keep up with you." Christina stated calmly "Yet, I am not understanding what you are trying to tell me."
"Last night, Lexie fell asleep in the tub." Meredith explained "She wasn't answering me, when I was knocking, with her fever I got scared she fell."
Christina nodded "I am following, keep going" She encouraged.
Meredith nodded "I picked the lock."
"Nice" Christina managed to smile "Very MacGyver. Meredith Grey skilled surgeon and lock picker."
"That's what I thought!" Meredith exclaimed for a moment even managing a little smile before it quickly faded
"Alright, so you picked the lock and stormed in on 3?" Christina motioned for Meredith to continue her story.
"She was asleep in the tub," Meredith explained. "I woke her, to get her out of the cooler water and into bed."
Christina nodded "All of that sounds very reasonable, and very sisterly of you. Good job."
Meredith nodded "Sisterly" She repeated "This whole big sister thing, nobody prepared me for it. Or how the hell it would make me feel."
"Yes, your father sucks' ' Christina agreed "We all know this" She motioned with her hands for Meredith to keep going. She was trying hard to follow along. "you wake up the cesspool of germs."
"Once she was awake I drained the tub, lectured her on napping locations." Meredith nodded "And maybe I can see a little now, why Derek flipped out on me the way he did when I was under the water."
It took Yang everything she had to not roll her eyes or throw something at her best friend. Getting her to focus right now was the same as herding cats. "Meredith…"
Meredith nodded "Right, sorry" She took a deep breath as her eyes closed. The images all came flooding back. "I helped her stand, I was holding onto her to help her step out of the tub. Last thing we needed was Lexie to slip and crack her head open."
Christina couldn't hold it back anymore. She rolled her eyes but didn't say anything. Meredith was going to explain in her own time obviously.
"I went to wrap a towel around her. '' Meredith added quieter "And that's when I noticed she was covered in bruises, from her hips to her rib cage and all over her back. Angry, harsh bruises'' Meredith looked to Christina "I could make out finger marks where she'd been restrained so tightly, the outline of a hand that had hit her hard enough to form a bruise in its shape."
Christina sucked in a breath "Someone beat Lexie?"
"Yes!"
"Who? Who in the hell would dare lay their hands on that girl?" Christina demanded "Do they not realize the army of people that will take them down, without so much as batting an eye."
Meredith shook her head "I don't know...that's part of the problem."
"She's not talking about it?" Christina asked "That girl will tell you what she ate for lunch last Tuesday and what she read word for word while eating it, but this she doesn't talk about?"
"What she ate for lunch and read last week is hard to compare to trauma Christina" Meredith exhaled as she found herself leaning against a wall again sliding down to the ground. Wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin atop of her knees. "Lexiepedia is down, and I don't know how to restart it."
Christina opened her mouth and quickly closed it again when she realized that she in fact had not heard Lexie rattle anything off recently. She was Christina's best intern there was no denying that. She didn't find herself needing to keep her eye on Lexie to make sure she wasn't screwing anything up. Yet had she slowed down the past few days she would have seen just how quiet Lexie was. Her work was still great but her demeanor was off.
"Damn it" Christina hissed to herself. "What does Callie say?"
"We are waiting to get the results back of her scans, x-rays, blood work and flu test to come back, Callie was able to put a rush in." Meredith sighed "She thinks Lexie's got fractured ribs and possible sternum fractures."
"Damn" Christina whistled "That's hell of painful. She's been here everyday."
"Yeah," Meredith nodded "I don't know how."
"She was doing more paperwork" Christina noted "She was eagerly taking charts and cases that needed time to study."
Meredith nodded "Because it probably hurt like hell to do her job. Our job is physical and demanding." She let out a sigh "I don't like that she didn't get help right away, she jeopardized herself and others by going this long. You can't tell me that she could put as much focus on her patients as needed when she's in that amount of pain."
"To be fair Meredith, she's still doing an excellent job" Christina offered "She's a good bluffer?"
"And the risk of injuring herself further!" Meredith scoffed at her.
"Are you mad at your sister?" Christina asked gently "Or are you mad at yourself? Because I don't think you're mad at Lexie."
Meredith looked towards the ceiling. "I am mad," she agreed before shaking her head. "No, I am livid. '' She grew quiet as she thought about it. "I am not really mad at Lexie." She admitted "I wish she'd talk to me, but I am not mad at her, I am mad at who did this to her, and I am really mad that I didn't notice, and I failed to protect her."
"You know now" Christina reasoned "And now you stand up, you wash your face again. You go back into that room, and you stand with her. That is protecting Meredith."
"Hopefully, I can do it without losing my cool on her again" Meredith sighed as she pushed herself back up and did a quick mirror check before heading to the door.
"I am sure she's okay" Christina promised as she unlocked the bathroom door. "She knows you didn't mean it."
"I didn't mean to yell at her" Meredith agreed as they headed back down the hall stopping in front of Lexie's room. "She never has to tell me what happened, it's her story." She said quietly, "That won't change me being there for the healing part of the journey."
"That's right," Christina agreed. "It's Lexie, I fully believe she is going to tell you what happened. She's going to do it on own terms. After all she is a Grey."
Meredith playfully shoved Christina "Thank you" She said quietly before pushing the door open and slipping inside the room just in time to hear a quiet conversation between Lexie and Callie that stopped her dead in her tracks.
"What do you mean he mistook you for your sister?" Torres asked "Are you saying that Meredith were the intended target of your attack?"
"Yes, he wanted Meredith." Lexie responded before her eyes grew wide and she froze when she realized that the older Grey had just returned to the room and heard her confession.