Chapter 4: Hiraeth
Hiraeth (n): a homesickness for a place you can never return to, a place which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for lost places of your past.
Cambridge, June 2006
"You're out of the team."
Gene returned to school a week later, and on that day he happened to have P.E.
He stared back at Simon with an expressionless face.
"Yeah, so?"
Gene intended to sound very disinterested, and it worked.
Simon raised an eyebrow at him, as if he had expected more of a reaction out of Gene.
When Gene entered the classroom Simon and his friends had quietly whispered to each other. The girl whose name shall go unmentioned from now on did not even glance at him. Simon had gotten up from his seat and approached Gene to announce that. His words were anything but shocking. Rather, it surprised Gene that Simon even bothered. He would have found out later that day anyway.
Gene simply shrugged and sat down. He no longer cared and it's not like he had wanted to spend any ounce of energy on Simon's team. It wasn't as if they would work well together on the same team after all that had happened.
Obviously it was the best for both of them.
At Gene's lack of reaction Simon returned to his seat. Gene heard Nicole quietly laugh behind her hands.
"Did he send Oliver in his place, or what?" She said, just loud enough for Gene to hear.
"Beats me," Simon said.
At the mention of Noll's name, Gene could barely keep himself from bursting out in anger. Fortunately for him, a voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Eugene."
Gene turned his head to the person next to him. Eric glanced at Simon and the others. He wore a displeased expression on his face.
"Just ignore them."
Gene shifted his glance down. He was still angered, but he said, "...Okay."
"They've been talking trash about you all week."
His heart skipped a beat.
"…Who?" Gene asked with a tiny voice.
There was a pause of hesitation.
"Almost everyone," Eric muttered quietly.
His throat went dry.
"…What did they say?"
Eric gave a small shrug before leaning to his side.
"They claim you're hallucinating," he whispered. "Someone said they saw you talk to invisible people."
Shit.
This was even worse than he thought. Didn't she say that she would keep quiet about it?
He glanced at the two girls on the opposite side of the room. She looked away when she noticed Gene looking in her direction.
Gene clenched his fist. She promised.
Eric continued to whisper, "I think Nicole started it. She also got people from different classes say that they saw you doing the same thing. - did she pay them?"
"I..."
Did she pay them? Gene wasn't sure. Perhaps they did see him doing that... At the very least, Eric didn't seem to believe them.
"Well, I defended you, and Simon kicked me out."
What the fuck.
"...Sorry."
"It's not your fault," Eric insisted.
"But -"
"It's not like I wanted to be in his team. I only joined because you were there. Remember?"
"Yeah, t-thanks."
Eric grinned.
"Don't worry about it," he said, whispering again. "Most people don't like Nicole. …Did you know about Viola?"
"Viola?"
Gene turned to look at the girl with a brown ponytail in one of the front seats. Viola wasn't very popular with the other classmates and had few friends in their class. He was also aware of the rumours surrounding her, but they seemed based on what she looked like rather than on facts.
"I didn't know."
"Me too. Viola told me Nicole was the one who started stuff about her too," Eric said, adjusting his glasses. "Sounds like Liz is her groupie."
Gene nodded uneasily. He had no idea it had been them all along. There's no way she wouldn't blab her mouth off to her 'BFF' Nicole.
And no wonder Viola hardly talked to him the past few months...
Their classmates suddenly stopped talking. The door opened. Mr Hope had arrived to take to register.
"Good morning," he said. His eyes scoured the classroom and ended near Gene. "Well, I see one face has returned. Good to see you again, Gene."
Gene smiled sheepishly at Mr Hope.
The class had P.E. later that day. The class had been assigned to play one football match. Gene noticed his new team was much weaker than the other one. They lost the first half, because Simon had scored a goal against them. Gene couldn't concentrate on the match. He kept thinking about the rumours that were spread about him. He couldn't look her in the eye anymore, he couldn't look anyone in the eye.
During the break Gene went to the goalposts where the others stood.
Eric gave him a pat on the shoulder.
"Eugene."
"I'm sorry, I just can't - "
"They were hounding you the whole time," Eric said, grimacing. Other people made sounds of agreement.
However, Viola gave him an encouraging smile.
"Let's work together."
Gene blinked.
"Huh?"
"Take revenge, Eugene," Viola said. "Score a goal for us. I know you're the better player."
"Yeah," another classmate said. "But we should think of a plan."
Gene frowned. But there was no way he'd score anything if the other team was… No, this was a chance.
"Wait I have an idea."
He leaned forward to whisper in her ear.
"Let's put you on the attack. I'll pass the ball to you."
"Eugene! I don't think Viola's interested in you at all."
Gene turned his head. The members of the other team stared at them with amusement.
Viola looked away from Gene with sad expression. Anger started bubbling inside of him. This was just wrong. Gene snapped back at the source of the voice.
"Shut up! Mind your own business."
The gym teacher yelled at them to cut it out.
The members of the other team murmured quietly.
Gene looked at Viola with determined eyes. "Just trust me, okay?"
Then he stared at Eric who grinned.
"Ready to kick ass, Eugene?"
"Yeah!"
The second half started. Like in the first half, everyone focused their attention on Gene, who was arguably the best player on his team. Viola moved forward, and Gene passed the ball to her. She scored two times. By the time Simon noticed what was going on, it was already late. Then Gene scored a goal of his own to wrap it up. In the end, Simon's team lost.
Eric, Viola and the others high-fived Gene.
As for Simon, he never talked to Gene again. Nicole and her groupies avoided him entirely. Sometimes it looked like she wanted to speak to Gene, but he ignored her. It was too late to apologize for talking her mouth off.
The weeks passed by slowly after Noll decided to come with him to Japan.
Although Gene still felt uneasy whenever he talked to anyone in school, his remaining days at school were somewhat peaceful. It was peaceful to the point that less people approached him. A gut feeling told him it was caused by the rumours, but perhaps he could also blame that on the nerves for the finals. Gene had no worries about his grades. He often reached top marks on the subjects he liked, and average to above average marks for the ones he disliked. Since he didn't want to think about the messy situation at school, he poured all of his concentration into the preparation of his final examinations.
"Gene."
Noll stood in the doorway. He looked up from his schoolbook. Gene was studying of the final exam.
"What?" Gene said with bleary eyes.
"One of your classmates mistook me for you on my way back home."
Luella often sent Noll on errands and groceries. Noll didn't seem to dislike it, but he obviously thought he could do without. Usually Luella told him to go to one of the Asian supermarkets to get fresh tofu and other ingredients useful for a vegetarian meal, so he never complained.
"Who?"
"Boy with glasses. Curly red hair."
Gene frowned.
"Eric. We skateboard together. And… he was in your class too, you know."
He shrugged lightly.
Of course, Noll wouldn't remember him. Eric was merely a 'pumpkin' in his eyes. Like a commoner to a king.
Noll continued, "He told me... what is going on at your school."
Gene looked away from him. He never told Noll or his parents about it.
"I'm fine now, honestly… It wasn't a big deal."
"Really? Then will you stay there?"
Gene deepened his frown.
"I never considered leaving…"
That was true. The school had an attached sixth form, so there was no need to transfer out. It was also convenient, since it had all the subjects he wanted to do. However, if he wanted to change schools, right now would be the most opportune. It wouldn't be strange to enter a different sixth form college.
"Even if something like that is going on?"
Then Gene noted the use of present tense.
"…What did Eric say?"
"You might not have noticed, but rumours tend to live a life of their own," Noll said monotonously. "Apparently, they also include me. Not that I care."
Gene tightened the grip on his pen. Noll didn't care what people thought about him. What did matter is... What would come next? He didn't want to know. If it got worse it would be very troublesome.
"… Could you close the door. I'm studying."
Noll looked down at the textbook. It wasn't a subject Gene particularly liked.
"It's not like you. You're forcing yourself too much."
"I'm not-"
"Luella said that."
With that, the door closed.
Gene buried his head in his head on the desk. He pursed his lips together.
Just ignore it. Ignore everything.
He knew Eric was worried about him. Noll too. But right now this was all he could do. And he didn't want to worry his parents either. Gene had caused them enough worry in the past month.
As the weeks passed by, the grades slowly trickled in. Gene consistently received top marks. He had the sinking feeling he would end up in the same top list Noll got in earlier this school year. Gene almost wondered if he could beat Noll's GCE marks. Noll had taken A levels while still doing his GCE, but even that had been difficult for Noll. Then, when the final grade came in, his form teacher called him to school and personally told Gene he had the best grades of the semester, and the second-best of the entire school year. She was absolutely ecstatic. Gene had only given her a short smile. Then he went home and announced the results to his family. Luella and Martin were deeply impressed.
Noll only gave a small shrug.
"You only managed second-best of the year?"
That bloody git.
Gene showed a frosty smile.
"Shut up, Noll."
Gene went upstairs after dinner and sat down in his chair. He opened his laptop and checked the plans for their trip to Japan.
'Plans'.
He had not much else planned other than staying the first and last week in Tokyo. Madoka and Lin had helped him finding some good hotels in Tokyo, but otherwise Gene was relatively confident that he could deal with it on his own. After the first week, they would head to Yokohama and then to Kyoto. Gene didn't feel like planning out everything down to the tiny details... he would decide on the go.
Gene's gaze moved to the closed door on the other side of the hallway. Strangely enough, Noll wasn't a proponent of doing things 'on the go', but even so Noll let him take care all of the planning. Gene wasn't sure what his brother was thinking. Normally he would let him know which activities weren't to his liking. Was Noll planning on skipping the stuff he didn't enjoy? Gene breathed out and glanced at the ceiling.
He wanted to do something, go outside and meet up with someone. Preferably not someone from his school. But he didn't know who to call - Ah.
Right. I can call Craig.
Gene glanced at the phone next to his laptop.
He got up from his chair, taking the phone with him. Then he sat on the bed.
Gene wanted to see Craig. Go for a drive. Skateboard on the rink. Play guitar. Or perhaps he should ask Craig to teach him the basics. Just to clear his mind. He typed a message.
He received a reply after a minute.
Sorry, Gene. Got a date with my girlfriend.
Gene looked at the message for a long time.
Huh?
His mind went blank. As the meaning started to sink in, he quickly switched to the home screen. No, this isn't enough. He turned off his phone and dropped it on the carpet. Gene put his hands in front of his face.
I didn't see it. That didn't happen at all.
It wasn't a surprise. Gene knew Craig liked someone else from the very beginning. The first time they met, Craig was singing a love song on his guitar. Gene had asked him about it out of curiosity. Apparently, Craig had been in love with a long-time friend, but he didn't want to lose her friendship if she turned him down. He put the words into a song, because he didn't have the courage to confess his feelings to that girl.
Gene wondered if it was the same girl. If that was the case, he should feel happy for him, but...
Why am I still upset? I should have gotten over it months ago.
He never told Craig, because his feelings were one-sided. There was no point in telling him, but something inside of Gene regretted something.
Not like this, not like this.
Even if it were to remain unfulfilled, he would at least have gotten closure from Craig's rejection.
Gene lowered his hands and looked at the acoustic guitar in the corner. He moved over to the guitar and took it in his hands. His lips pursed when tears threatened to fall from his eyes. Gene dropped the guitar. It fell over on the floor with a clang. He started sobbing.
"Gene?"
Luella's voice came from the hallway.
He didn't look up. The door was open. Of course, she was able to hear him.
"What's wrong?"
Gene wiped his tears with the sleeves of his shirt.
"I can't play it."
Luella peered down at the guitar and the phone in front of her on the floor. Then she put her arm over his shoulders. He closed his eyes and didn't say anymore.
"You're tired. Take a rest."
Gene dutifully laid down on his bed. Luella started humming. Her voice was soothing and made him feel drowsy. She was right. Lately there had been too many things on his mind. Just too many. He didn't need to think about Craig and everyone else.
After a while another person entered his room. Going by the soft footsteps it was Noll.
(Sorry.)
Gene opened his eyes briefly to see the guitar back on the stand. Noll was nowhere to be seen.
He slowly dozed off and saw the vague image of a girl in front of him. She looked faint, but he knew it was the same girl as before. This time more details were visible, as if some puzzle pieces had connected. Who could she be?
London Heathrow Airport, July 2006
Time passed by quickly.
Too quickly, Martin thought.
With bated breathed he watched as his sons passed through the gates. The boys took one last look behind them. Gene waved at them with a cheerful smile. Noll shortly held up a hand with a stiff smile. They waved back at them. Martin gave a reassuring nod. Noll was the first to turn around, and Gene followed.
"Well, this is it. We won't be seeing them for a while," Martin said as he lowered his hand.
Luella nodded beside him, speechless. She dabbed the tears trickling over her face with a paper tissue.
He gave Luella's hand a tight squeeze as the boys left their sight.
"I'm glad Noll joined him on this trip."
"Yes," he agreed.
Martin didn't want to think of Gene going alone on this trip in the state he was in for the last couple of months. They had been very worried about him.
Dealing with heartbreak was never easy, but Martin believed it would come to pass eventually. Gene was still young. One day he might look back and no longer care, or even laugh about it. Before he met Luella he had his own has share of failed crushes. It was always difficult to get through, but a positive attitude helped him to look ahead. Martin hoped that Gene would share that same outlook. He let out a breath of relief when Gene's enthusiasm reached its peak just before the flight. A spark had returned to his eyes. A trip abroad would do him good.
Even Noll appeared to have brightened up a little. Martin couldn't exactly pinpoint what went on in his head. Noll seemed to be doing alright, but there was something - Luella mentioned Noll had become more 'considerate' of them as a family in his own way. Was it because of Gene? It had to be Gene, she had said. It's the twin bond.
Martin supposed that might be true. But there was something else. He had changed his mind about not going to Japan. It happened right around the time when Noll met up with Timothy.
"Shall we go?" A female voice behind them said.
Martin turned his head to the source of the voice. Madoka stood a little further away from them. He would talk to her later about Timothy in the car. One of Timothy's students, Tina, if Martin remembered correctly, passed on the news that Timothy had gone on a 'date with a woman'. Tina believed it was the young lady Martin brought along back in May.
Martin didn't intrude into their affairs, so he wisely kept it to himself, but he was admittedly curious.
"Yes," he said and looked at Luella. "Coffee first?"
Luella shook her head and faced him with a firm expression. She had quickly recovered from the emotional moment just a minute ago.
"No, that will be alright," she said, looking down at her wristwatch. "I have to drive back to Cambridge now if I want to make it to my appointment."
Martin nodded.
"Then let's head back together to the cars."
Luella linked their arms, and together they followed Madoka to the parking space.
Martin had decided to visit the main office in London after dropping Noll and Gene off at the airport for a meeting. Madoka would attend as well, while also taking care of some other matters.
It seemed like Noll's willingness to go to Japan had stirred her hopes of establishing a Japanese branch office. Martin could only assume she would take up to the ones in higher authority if she received Noll's approval of her proposal. If so, the beacon of parapsychology would cross the globe rather than stay in England. He wondered how Sir Dorey would react to the news. Sir Dorey placed all of his hopes on Noll, but the old gentleman was already in his nineties. Martin hoped it wouldn't be too much of a shock.
While they tried to do their best to protect Noll and Gene, Martin and Luella didn't want to hold them back on doing things that they wanted to do. As their parents, they were always supportive of their endeavours...
"Professor?"
Martin blinked. They had arrived. Madoka opened the door of her car.
"Hop in, Martin. Don't keep her waiting."
To his embarrassment he had zoned out while he was deep in thought. He was glad Luella had taken his arm. Surely he would have bumped into something.
He pulled the car key from his pocket and handed it over to Luella.
"I'll see you tonight then."
He kissed her goodbye and went to sit in the passenger seat. Luella walked to the car on the opposite side. Martin and Madoka would have dinner in London with the others before returning to Cambridge. After all, a long time had passed since their last meeting.
Madoka drove the car into the direction of London. The Society for Psychical Research was about twenty minutes away from their current location.
Martin started the conversation when they left the airport's premises.
"Say, Madoka. Have you heard anything from my colleague lately?"
"Colleague?"
"Timothy Grey. The one you met when-"
"Oh! Yes, he called me back sometime after that."
"And?"
"We met up in a coffeehouse three weeks ago."
"I see."
Martin sighed. So that meant there hadn't been any subsequent dates or progress at all. But still. Tina had winked at him when she confronted him with that message. Did that mean Timothy was interested in Madoka after all?
"I'm taking him to the laboratory tomorrow."
He blinked and turned to look at her.
"Huh? What?"
Madoka frowned a little.
"Are you even listening, Professor?"
"I am, but - by laboratory, you mean, the Pratt Laboratory?"
"The one and only."
"You invited Timothy?"
"Well, he seemed very interested."
Martin turned to look at the highway again. Surely, Luella would strangle him if she heard about this.
"Never thought you would invite him."
Madoka laughed a little.
"It's a pity he couldn't come when Noll was around. He would have made for a better tour guide."
Martin highly doubted that, but the thought of it amused him greatly.
Minutes later Madoka parked her car in the neighbourhood. Martin stepped out of the car.
Contrary to what one would expect, the office wasn't located near other business offices or research centres. It was in a residential area with some shops here and there. The Society's office itself was rather small, but it contained a sizable library of parapsychology literature.
Since there were no parking spaces near the office, they had to walk a minute to get there.
Suddenly, a ringing sound came of Madoka's coat. She pulled her phone out of her pocket.
"Sorry, I'm picking this up" she said. "Please go ahead of me, Martin."
"Alright," Martin said as he walked on.
Behind him he caught part of the telephone conversation.
"Hello, Mr Grey."
Martin slowed his pace.
"Your dinner party was cancelled? …Oh my …Yes, of course we can grab a bite after your visit to the lab. …Indian sounds good to me."
He returned to his normal pace again.
Well, this could get interesting.
Tokyo, Mid-July 2006
Normal families in Tokyo would be celebrating Obon around this time, but Satomi wasn't part of any family. Neither was the girl who she was about to pay a visit.
It would be the first time Satomi didn't spend Obon in the orphanage ever since she was placed out of her family home. She was glad as the orphanage was a place she detested. It was particularly gloomy there around this time. After all, it was a day to commemorate the spirits of one's ancestors, and most of the children who lived there had lost their direct ancestors.
Satomi didn't have any special feelings toward that holiday - in fact, she would rather ignore it. Even after her parents would pass away, Satomi doubted she would ever celebrate it. She carried no fond memories of the time she spent with them.
The plastic bag in her hand swayed a little as Satomi stopped in front of the door of the boarding house.
This is the right address, isn't it? What if she already moved away?
After some hesitation she rang the doorbell.
Seconds later the door opened. Large brown eyes stared at her in shock. Her friend still lived here.
"Satomi-san!"
She gave her best smile.
"Hello, Mai."
Mai's mouth widened into a big grin. They hadn't met up since March.
"Come in! Come in!"
She entered the boarding house and was relieved to be rid of the humid, hot air outside. Satomi undid her shoes at the entrance and put them next to a familiar pair of worn, red sneakers on the floor. There were three other pairs of women's shoes too, but going by their looks they seemed to belong to adult women. So the other boarders are at home too, Satomi thought.
"You should have told me you were coming. I would have bought more food," Mai said.
"Don't worry about it. I brought some yakisoba and karaage," Satomi grinned, holding up the plastic bag.
"I just wanted to surprise you. I figured you might want to have some company around during Obon."
Mai looked up at her in surprise, and shifted her gaze to the floor with a sad smile. It almost seemed like she was going to burst into tears, but she held it in. Just barely.
Instead, she nodded and said, "Thank you."
The look on her face almost broke Satomi's heart. This time of the year was tough on Mai, as expected. She had seen the same looks in the orphanage too, but at least the children had each other.
A door opened. From it an elderly man peeked through the gap.
"Oh, your friend?"
His voice was scratchy. He seemed to be in his eighties.
Mai nodded with a smile. "Yes, this is Shiozaki Satomi."
She bowed a little. "Sorry for intruding."
The man nodded his head,
"Tanaka-san is my landlord," Mai explained.
"I see."
"I'm glad to see you have some company," Tanaka said. "Please make yourself at home, Shiozaki-san."
Tanaka closed the door.
Mai turned into the direction of the kitchen. "Um... I'll prepare some tea. Green or black tea?"
"Black, please."
Satomi looked around while Mai prepared the tea. The place looked rather old. She looked down the hallway and wondered if she was getting along with the other boarders.
"Tanaka-san seems like a nice person," she muttered as they waited for the water to boil.
"He is," Mai said. "His wife Mamiko lives here too. They've been taking boarders after their daughters left the house."
After Mai finished preparing the tea, they left the kitchen and threaded on the creaky staircase to the second floor. She followed Mai to a room at the end of the hallway.
Satomi wondered if Mai has had any other visitors visiting her after she moved into this place. Mai seemed like the type to have many friends. Many people naturally supported her. Satomi had been jealous of her back when they first met, but she warmed up to Mai rather quickly so those thoughts had left her head immediately. It was rather silly of her, now that she thought about it.
Satomi stepped into the room and looked around. It had some old bookcases, a futon, and a small round table at its centre. The room also had a balcony.
"Your room looks nice."
"Thanks, it's small, but it's inexpensive and not far from my middle school."
It was a bit smaller than Satomi's room, but enough for a school girl.
Mai had started living on her own earlier this year. It would be her first Obon without a family around her. Her father passed away when she was little. Then Mai moved away from her original home in Kanagawa prefecture, because her mother found a job in Tokyo. Unfortunately, her mother died from shock in an accident in the summer of her second year in middle school.
A teacher took her in after Mai turned an orphan, but she felt uneasy about intruding into her teacher's family life. That's why Mai made the decision to move out. It was difficult to arrange because she couldn't afford an actual apartment. Satomi was in the same boat. That's how she ended up meeting Mai at the social service centre.
Satomi sat down on the floor at the small round table. She placed the plastic bag next to the table.
"Here you go."
Mai placed a cup of tea in front of her.
Satomi sipped from the tea. It was still a little hot.
Mai said, "It's been a long time..."
She nodded.
"Yeah... Have you heard back from Haruka?"
Mai shook her head.
"No, I haven't. She did say she wouldn't be able to contact us for a while."
"I wonder why," Satomi said.
"I'm sure she must have her own reasons."
Satomi nodded. If she had to guess, it probably involved her parents. According to Haruka they died in a robbery. The girl could fortunately escape, but apparently the murderers were still at large. It was a bit frightening to think that they might go after her as well.
"We can only hope she's doing fine," Satomi said.
Mai nodded and took a sip from her own cup of tea. Her gaze shifted to the plastic bag.
"Oh, let me take these out."
She grabbed the bag and pulled out plastic containers with yakisoba and karaage.
"Oh, that looks so delicious!" Mai exclaimed.
Satomi searched for chopsticks in the bag and pulled them out. They arranged the food on the table.
"How's school, Mai?"
"Oh, it's going great," she said, grinning. "And I got the scholarship from the school that offers scholarships for orphans."
"Wow. Congratulations!"
"Thanks!" Mai said. "But it's still a little far from here, so I'll probably move out again. I'm a little sad to leave this place, but it will save myself time and money from commuting."
"That's really great to hear."
"What about you, Satomi-san?"
She gave a small shrug.
"Well, I work at a family restaurant. I dropped out of high school as you know… I don't think I'm ever going back. I'm just not cut out for it."
Mai looked a little sad. "I see."
"Sorry, Mai."
"You don't have to apologize. I understand how tough it is," she said. "Sometimes I'd rather just work too. I don't get enough allowance to afford some things."
"I hope you're at least eating well."
Mai showed a sheepish smile.
"Within a certain budget."
"Mai..."
Satomi sighed as she watched Mai eat a piece of karaage.
"Hmm, delicious! I haven't had this in so long!" Mai said with a happy sigh, while putting a hand against her cheek.
"I'm glad you like it. I made it myself."
"At the restaurant?"
"Yeah, it's the first time I tried one of their recipes," Satomi replied. "For now I'm only doing the menial stuff so it's not at all amazing yet... I don't regret my choice though. I intend to work my way up while I'm there."
"I'm sure you can."
"Thanks Mai."
"She asked me a strange question."
"Hm?"
"Haruka did. I just remembered again."
"What did she ask you?"
Mai looked down at her hands.
"If you could go back in time, would you save your only family?"
Satomi blinked.
"...Huh. What's the context?"
"I showed her a book at the library... You know, the one about time travelling? I think it had to do with that. But it really came out of the blue," Mai said, using the chopstick to pick up another piece of karaage. "Anyway, I told her that I would do it."
She took a bite.
"Hmm. Delicious!"
Satomi could only sigh and eat her soba.
Ezawa Haruka was a pretty girl with long black hair, and rather intelligent for her age. Mai probably didn't notice, but being one year older than both of them made Satomi feel a bit inadequate. Haruka seemed to have a bright future before her.
Mai continued speaking, but in a questioning tone.
"Satomi-san, have you noticed that she knew... things?"
She looked up from the plastic container in front of her.
"What kind of things?"
"Things that are to come."
Satomi frowned.
"Like a fortune teller?"
"Something like that."
So Mai did notice something about her. Satomi herself couldn't place what exactly felt off about Haruka. Only that she was pretty smart for her age.
"Sort of... but I don't really believe in stuff like that."
"Right, it's a bit hard to believe," Mai said and sighed. "But there are some things that just stood out to me. For example: After one of the earlier meetings, we decided to hit up a cafe nearby. The two of us were walking ahead of her."
"Now that you mention it... We were caught up in a conversation back then. Then she yelled at us to watch out for the bike. But what was wrong with that?"
Mai leaned forward. Her eyes lit up as if she was telling a ghost story.
"We were walking next to a building on the left. She was trailing behind us... But from her point of view, she couldn't have seen the bike coming at such a high speed."
Satomi could remember that distinctively. She placed a hand in front of her mouth.
"That's so weird..."
"Yeah."
Mai stared at the ceiling with a pensive face.
"But you know? I think that was her way of doing her best for us, even if she was a little secretive."
"That's true," Satomi agreed. "She offered me some advice on whether to go to high school or not. Our advisor kept pushing me to go to high school. I really had no idea what to do."
The advisor said that many orphaned kids ended up not going to high school and doing low wage jobs. They were rarely supported. That woman was also afraid she would end up becoming a hostess, or worse, fall into prostitution.
Satomi continued, "But Haruka told me to do something I enjoyed... something I was passionate for. Then one day I cooked for some of the kids at the orphanage... The kids told me they liked my cooking... and it made me really happy.
Mai smiled.
"Sorry, I know that you wanted me to finish my high school too..."
"No, don't mind it. It's just that my mom always told me it was important to finish my education... but I understand it doesn't work about for everyone."
After they finished eating the soba and karaage, Mai looked outside. Satomi leaned backward, leaning on her arms on the floor.
"By the way, are you doing anything special for Obon?" Satomi said.
"...Like putting vegetable animals out?'
"Yeah."
"I was about to get the cucumber and eggplant out of the fridge, but then you turned up," Mai said with a small grin. "I'll got get them this time."
Satomi cleared the table before Mai returned with the vegetables.
After making legs out of the disposable chopsticks, they turned the vegetables into a 'horse' and a 'cow', Mai and Satomi put them out on the balcony. Together they sat while looking at the dark sky outside. Mai had lit some incense between them. According to Obon tradition, the trail of incense helps the spirits find their way home.
Satomi watched the trail of smoke rise into the night sky.
Suddenly she heard a sob next to her. Mai held her head low and began to cry quietly. She made attempts to wipe her tears off her face, but the tears kept coming. Satomi placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, and silently hoped that the days coming for them would be less lonely than they were now.
Tokyo, Late July 2006
Save for a stopover in Moscow, both Noll and Gene were able to sleep through most of their flight. The flight to Japan was uneventful; there was some turbulence, but nothing bad, and the meals ranged from bland to surprisingly decent.
After arriving at Narita International Airport, they made their way to the underground train station. It took another hour to make it to Tokyo Station where they would transfer over into the direction of their hotel.
Soon enough almost everyone around them spoke Japanese. Whenever Gene approached someone for help with directions, they would address him in Japanese.
Strange, Noll thought.
Gene picked up on that stray thought and agreed. (Yeah.)
Noll and Gene spent their whole lives speaking Japanese which only a few people in their surroundings could understand. Now it suddenly dawned on them that they could no longer use Japanese as their "secret language". They would have to settle for English or telepathy instead.
Obviously, Noll and Gene stood out, because they were twins. But otherwise they blended in with the local population. No one gave them quizzical stares until they opened their mouths.
He wasn't sure what gave them away. The spotty vocabulary? They had to thank Madoka and their others for helping them retain fluency, but both Gene and him never actively learned to build more vocabulary. Even when speaking in Japanese they tended to rely a lot on English. Now, it became increasingly apparent that they missed out on certain words and idioms.
Was it their manner of speaking? No, Madoka had drilled them thoroughly on using polite Japanese language, Noll reluctantly remembered. They never learned it before meeting her. Or was it their accent after all? Gene had asked Madoka about it before the flight, but she swore that they sounded "relatively normal". If there was an accent, it wouldn't have been obvious at the very least.
Noll decided it could be a combination of all those things.
Speaking of Madoka, she had given them some suggestions on what places to visit in Japan, but Gene insisted on freely traveling without a plan after they reached Kyoto. On the other hand, Gene had asked him multiple times whether he had any places he wanted to visit, but Noll left everything up to him - he didn't have any particular places he wanted to visit.
Noll didn't know where this approach would take them. Would he see the lake in the vision? It would completely confirm the so-called precognitive visions. Somehow he doubted it, and yet... he was morbidly curious. This curiosity prevented him from meddling with Gene's 'plans'.
It was an experiment, so to speak.
When they checked in at their budget hotel in Shinjuku in the afternoon it was relatively sunny.
However, Japan at this time of the year was humid and rainy.
After dinner in the hotel they headed to a convenience store to pick up some essentials. A few minutes before they exited, it suddenly started pouring buckets of water. As such they were forced to buy umbrellas at the convenience store. However, that still didn't prevent their shoes from becoming soaking wet. They spent that day inside, recovering from the flight and all the new experiences. The next morning Gene dried their moist shoes with a hairdryer on the balcony.
Japan at this time of the year was also hot.
He quickly realized this during their walk in Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden around noon the very next day. Unfortunately, Noll couldn't stand the heat. He wasn't used to it at all. England never reached these high temperatures for long periods of time. And to his irritation Gene seemed surprisingly okay with it. He never lacked any energy, while Noll had to suffer through wet t-shirts and a sweaty forehead. Because of all the sweating and walking they always took care of staying hydrated as they explored Tokyo.
The experiment has to proceed, Noll miserably thought while trying to keep up with Gene's pace, as if to convince himself he made the right choice.
Usually, Gene fell into a deep sleep after a long day of walking, but sometimes he would catch glimpses of a dream where she was in. Then he thought everything away and saw only the girl. Ah, there she is again. So much clearer, but her face was down. Gene was dismayed he couldn't see anything else of her. There was some kind of connection, so perhaps he should close the distance. But he was often too tired to reach out for her properly. He was dragged into a deep sleep before he knew it.
She was still on the fringes of his mind when Gene woke up in the hotel room. There was a slight pain - not a physical pain. Ever since he arrived in Japan he would feel this whenever he woke up. Something about the pain seemed very familiar to him. Now he realized it came from the girl.
Gene looked to the side. It was still dark and Noll was sleeping soundly on the other bed.
His eyes were still heavy. Gene fell into a peaceful slumber again.
The morning light shone on his face. He heard Noll pulling the other curtain aside.
Gene groaned.
He hadn't been sure how Noll would fare on this trip.
So far, the lack of input didn't exactly surprise him. Noll indicated he had no interest in particular attractions, and he would let Gene do whatever he liked. …Gene tried to think hard of including things that would please Noll more than the average touristic attraction, but Noll told him not to mind it much.
That made it seem like Noll was going in with an open mind. He even managed to drag Noll into a karaoke room without any resistance. Occasionally he would utter a sigh, or roll his eyes, but contrary to his expectations, Noll hardly nagged at him. Gene supposed he was enjoying it somewhat too, or at the very least seemed intrigued by how different things were in Japan.
Gene could never have imagined this a few months ago. He suspected Noll was 'being considerate' of him. Yes, Gene had been pretty depressed for a couple of months, but he'd gotten over it. Well, more or less.
Gene appreciated the sympathy, but he wanted Noll to enjoy this trip to the fullest as well.
So far, the first week's itinerary was fairly touristy. They visited Tokyo Tower, well-known temples, some famous shopping streets, and so on. Everything was rather convenient. Gene had turned into a huge fan of convenience stores within a matter of a few days. Both of them liked that the trains and metros were punctual. Gene couldn't really say the same about public transport back home.
The food was great. Gene had been really looking forward to that.
Madoka recommended going for breakfast at a set meal restaurant as it was relatively inexpensive.
On the morning of the fifth day they headed to a set meal restaurant near the hotel, which had ticket machine at the front. After paying they handed their tickets to the waitress and sat down at a table in the back.
Although Gene enjoyed the food without a problem, Noll did have some trouble finding vegetarian food. Most of the time he resigned to eating fish if there was no alternative available. Lin had already warned him that it would be troublesome to stick to his diet, and they found it to be true. Gene wondered how Lin coped when he studied abroad in Japan for two years. Going out for dinner must have been difficult for him (if Lin ate out at all).
Their breakfast arrived. This was the second time they visited this particular chain restaurant. Last time, Gene had chosen the silver salmon breakfast. It came with natto, which he eagerly tried, but so far that was the only food he didn't like. It was smelly and he didn't like the stringiness at all.
Gene stared at Noll's natto breakfast set and scrunched up his nose.
"I don't know how you could eat that."
"It's not too bad."
That meant Noll actually liked that sticky mess.
"It's a waste to put that stuff in rice."
Noll shrugged and mixed the natto in the rice with his chopsticks.
Gene sighed and stared down at his own fried egg breakfast set.
The last time he had fried egg was at home. He remembered his parents' faces at the airport.
"What's wrong?" Noll said.
Gene blinked.
"Uh, no. Nothing …I just remembered Martin and Luella."
"…Homesick?"
"Not really…"
"You miss them."
Gene nodded reluctantly and started eating.
He couldn't put it into words, but… he wanted and did not want to go home. He felt guilty about feeling that way. It had never been Martin, Luella or even Noll's fault that things turned out the way it was now. He didn't know how to express it to Noll either. It was very complicated.
He continued eating until a question popped into his mind.
"Noll, what do you plan to do after this?"
It just occurred to him that he was eating very slowly as Noll was nearly done with his breakfast.
"After this?"
"After we return to England," Gene clarified.
Noll placed his chopsticks down.
"I want to focus on my research and enter university next year."
Gene exhaled through his nose with a smile.
Noll said that with such a resolute expression on his face.
"So predictable."
He sighed in response.
"That question didn't drop out of nowhere. What's on your mind?"
Noll leaned his back against the seat, and folded his arms.
"Alright, I don't know yet," he admitted. "But I just realized that I want to see different places. …Perhaps live somewhere else."
Noll stayed silent, looking down.
Gene continued.
"I mean, I don't think I want to stay in one country, just because our parents happen to live there…"
He waited for Noll to react. Perhaps he would shoot this idea down. Gene knew that it would never occur to Noll's mind to leave England… and their parents behind. Noll was so set in his ways. He was a loner who liked the way things were right now; his current livelihood, his research, social life (or lack thereof), and so on.
Gene felt guilty for possibly leaving his parents and Noll behind.
But something about Japan attracted him. Both of them initially had no interest in getting to know their roots. It was part of their blood and Japanese was the language spoken between them. But they, or at least, Gene had trouble disassociating it from their early childhood. It wasn't until after meeting Madoka that he gained an interest in Japan. That's when Gene started to believe that he had been missing out on something.
It probably wasn't as important to Noll as it was to him though.
Yet, after a long pause, Noll only responded with:
"I understand. Do whatever you want."
He blinked at him.
"…Thanks."
Gene was grateful and happy for those words, but he couldn't help but feel a tinge of disappointment.
Author's notes
To sum it up:
Gene: *suffering*
Mai: *suffering*
Noll: *experimenting... for SCIENCE!*
...
I, the writer, also suffered by terribly. I went through great pains to deal with the time and place transitions in this chapter, but thematically "Hiraeth" is what unites the scenes. Though it appears that the meaning of Hiraeth strictly applies to Wales rather than in general terms. The chapter title is also a tribute to the debut album of Capeson, a Japanese singer. His album Hiraeth came out just before I started writing this story, and it really helped me nail the feel of this fic. It's a good album and it's completely in English. Also, by some bizarre coincidence the singer used to live in Boston, where Noll and Gene were born (see the short story His Reality). o_O
Since I added Timothy Grey and "Craig", I couldn't forget Mr Hope from the short story "Eugene". He only gets a small appearance though.
Lastly, the set meal restaurant the twins went to is Yayoiken. You can check the menu on their English website for sample pics (...if you dare). I also apologize for talking so much about food in this chapter. It will happen again and again. ...Sorry I can't help it!