At some point I found myself knocking on Dmitri's door with no real memory of how I got there or how I even knew his room number. I had never even been on the senior floor before, let alone in his room.

"Open the fucking door!" I yelled while pounding on it, not caring who was or might be watching me. I knew I must look insane but that was nothing compared to how I felt. I no longer knew which of my memories were real; I could have woken up in one of those padded mental hospital rooms wearing a straitjacket and it would have made more sense to me than what was currently going on right in front of me.

The door opened and I was face to face with that stupid pair of bushy eyebrows, one raised slightly in confusion.

"The fuck is up with you?" He asked.

"Where did you get those photographs?" I asked without hiding any of my anger. "How do you know me? Who the fuck even are you?"

Not intimidated by me, my questions actually caused his shoulders to relax a bit, that same look of pity I had seen before now back in his eyes.

Opening the door to his room, he motioned for me to come in, lighting a cigarette without bothering to even try and hide the smell. The interior of the senior dorms actually caught me somewhat off guard, being roughly twice the size of my own dorm and having what seemed to be a miniature living area consisting of a small sofa and television set.

"I guess in a way it makes sense that you wouldn't remember." He shrugged, gesturing me to sit down. "You were one of the youngest kids there."

"Stop avoiding my questions. I don't need some fucking monologue out of you, I need the truth. Tell me how you know me."

"I don't, really." He continued. "Although I did share a bunk room with Spencer, your old teammate. Guy was always kind of an asshole. Given I never spoke much to him either, we all knew better than to try and make friends. There wasn't a point in it when you didn't know where you would end up the next day."

"How did you end up in The Abbey?" I asked.

"The same way most of us did." He looked at me uncomfortably. "All except for you, I suppose. You were the hot gossip for awhile, no one believed that your grandfather would send his own flesh and blood to that shit hole. You were a tiny little thing when you started there, I remember that."

"So you're an orphan?"

"A runaway who no one ever bothered to look for" He actually laughed when he said it. "Not that the concept of food and shelter made that place any better than home, but I knew better than to go back to my family."

"Why?"

I wasn't sure what to do with my emotions around someone who remained so calm. Yelling at him didn't make me feel any better because he didn't seem to care. He saw through me, saw the scared little boy who I had once been; who was still a part of me.

"I'm not sure how that's any of your business." He grunted at me slightly. "You know, when you started there full time with the rest of us there were bets on how long you would last."

I had been eight when my grandfather left me in Boris' care full time, taking away the comfort and safety of a home to call my own and a bed to sleep in. He had believed it would make a man out of me, a common term used to explain why harsh punishments and childhood trauma were warranted.

"Leaving wasn't a choice." I reminded him.

"We didn't bet on whether or not you would stick it out. We thought the Grify would pick you apart within a month."

"I don't understand."

"They ate kids like you for breakfast, roamed the alleyways at night. We knew better than to fuck with them."

"Fuck with who?" I was getting annoyed with his passive explanations, talking as though I should know some sort of code he was giving me.

Dmitri's eyes met mine, gradually becoming devoid of life the longer he spoke. Talking about it was taking a toll on him.

"The demented ones I suppose. I'm not sure if they were psycho or just evil; we always referred to them as Grify. I think Boris dismantled them after it became clear they had picked off a few kiddies. Actually, I think Yasha played a part in their demise as well..." He shuttered slightly. "Not that it makes up for the other things he did. He was meant to be a mole, figure out what was happening under the surface; I don't think anyone really even cared about their behavior so much as the loss of recruits before they were old enough to be subjected to testing, they could have cost Boris and Voltaire some of their lab rats." He put out his cigarette. "It wasn't their job to pick out the weak ones, and your grandfather didn't like people not knowing their place."

The scars taking up sections of my skin tingled as I remembered the things they did, my mind replaying my high pitched muffled screams as they slowly approached me with the smoking iron, making sure that I could see it. I had tried so hard to fight for my safety that it had taken three of them to pin me down. I could smell my own skin burning…

"They marked you." Dmitri continued, pulling me back into reality just enough where I could hear him. "Right? They did it to all of them."

"The kids?" I asked without looking at him. They hadn't done it to Ian; actually I couldn't remember them doing it to anyone else at all.

"The fags. That's why they used that old fabric iron, some sort of feminine symbol I suppose."

"Stop." I snapped at him, digging my nails into my skin with everything I could muster. "I don't want to hear this anymore!"

I had been eight when they branded me… eight…

"None of us like remembering it. We got out, though. Not everyone got out, a lot of the ones who did offed themselves." He looked at me. "I think a lot of Yasha's victims did after the shit he put you all through."

"He wasn't the person you think he was!" I was tired of the way he spoke of him, the only person who cared for me. "You're thinking of someone else!"

"That's how he found you, you know. He always found the branded ones; thought the fags would be easier to manipulate, they were already outcasts and if their wounds got infected they wouldn't make it a week. He planned and plotted every move he made. He was a sick and twisted fuck..."

I got up angrily, turning on my heal and walking out of the room before slamming the door behind me. It was Haru… he was the one putting him up to this, Dmitri must have told him about The Abbey, about Yasha, Haru told him to lie about him or something because he knew he helped me. He was lying in order to mess with me…

It wasn't going to work.

It wasn't going to work and he was going to pay for trying.

Xxx

My original goal when I got to PE was to confront Haru, the anger inside of me bubbling over the surface. I hated that prick, I absolutely fucking hated him.

"Kai," Wyatt grabbed my wrist gently, stopping me in my tracks. "You okay?"

Taking a deep breath, I brought myself back, looking at him while faking what I would hardly refer to as a smile.

"Yeah." I lied, balling my fists up into the pockets of my gym shorts. "I'm fine."

It was the good part about rarely showing emotion, outside of Wyatt and maybe Tyson most people couldn't tell what I was thinking or feeling and I think they both also occasionally had trouble with it. Wyatt knew something was wrong, but he had known that for awhile now and likely didn't understand my current emotional state.

"Get a room."

I turned toward the small group of boys who were currently giggling at our expense while Wyatt made an effort to just ignore them. We hadn't even been doing anything outside of talking.

"Don't even give them the benefit of a response." He said, placing a hand on my shoulder gently. "They just want to get a reaction out of you."

Haru was smirking at me, daring me to stand up for myself knowing very well that it would do nothing but get me sent to the office.

"Fine..." I mumbled, turning back around before the gym teacher could find another excuse to yell at us. He had recently taken to making me his personal bitch, meaning that if I wasn't careful I would find myself in detention for any reason from my shoes not being laced properly to my shorts being too short (which, I would like to point out makes absolutely no sense as our gym uniforms were provided by the school). Still, it was going to be better not to risk it. I was already walking a thin line in regards to remaining in a boarding school setting and out of foster care and as long as I was still under sixteen it was very likely that getting myself pulled was going to have a negative affect on my attempt to be emancipated. I couldn't keep screwing up like I had been.

Separating ourselves, Wyatt and I provided enough distance between one another where we wouldn't get yelled at for being gay and within the same personal bubble and waiting for the whistle to blow, indicating the ten minutes we were required to run laps in order to warm up.

Oddly enough, I didn't hate gym class. I was allowed to listen to music and was noticing an improvement regarding my figure. I wouldn't say I had muscles, but I was beginning to become toned, primarily around my shoulders. I was also slowly gaining some weight, which was a personal goal I had for myself, even though I wouldn't say my eating had drastically improved. I was still extremely thin, something that Wyatt regularly mentioned his concern regarding.

Either way, I was temporarily able to ignore my surroundings and become lost in my head the only positive way that I knew how to. It was really the only time I publicly allowed myself to be vulnerable outside of the stadium, except instead of focusing on a battle I was focused on the music I played too loudly through my headphones, allowing myself to drown out all other noises and events.

I thought about Wyatt, mostly… thinking back to the conversation we had earlier in the school year and how he had mentioned finishing high school together and attending the same college. He was better at planning for a future than I was, I never even gave the next few years any real thought, unsure of how my life was going to go as of summer. I didn't turn sixteen until August and I needed to be realistic about what was going to happen within those few months. I would need somewhere to go and the only options I had been given were living with my father or moving to a foster home.

I didn't like either option, but I couldn't deny that staying with my dad would make things easier. He still wouldn't officially have custody of me and I would be able to board again the following year, meaning that I would really only need to see him for those eight weeks. It would also give me an opportunity to connect with Riku again, potentially protecting him from anything resembling the fate that I had been dealt.

As quickly as I had become lost in thought, I was brought back by a force pressing aggressively into my shoulder. I didn't immediately realize that someone had shoved me, caught of guard by the realization that I was falling.

It happened quickly…

Unable to regain my balance I instead pivoted toward the wall that I had been next to and hitting my arm and shoulder into the heat of the radiator.

Xxx

I had never been left outside in the cold before, only knowing some of the other boys from my daytime visits. Still, I knew who to avoid, we all knew who to avoid. I had known better than to let them find me, they had beaten me before. When my father had brought me to the doctor for my broken arm he had told me I had a rib that had been fractured and healed on its own. That was why it had hurt to breath for awhile. I would fall asleep crying but I would do so within the comfort of a warm bed.

Out here, there was no comfort.

"Your grandfather leaving you out here with the dogs?" One of them laughed, he held a pocket knife to my neck, just barely touching me with the sharp point while I held my chin up and whimpered.

"You gonna cry? You're pathetic… we haven't even touched you."

Two of the three of them took hold of me from under my shoulders, causing me to wince in pain at the pressure applied to my broken wrist. I wanted to scream, to fling myself away from them and run away, but I couldn't. My body wasn't letting me move, I was frozen in place like a deer in the headlights.

The one who held my unbroken arm was rolling my sleeve up aggressively, a sly smile covering his face.

"I'll give you a reason to cry."

Inhaling deeply on his cigarette, he brought the dying ashes back to a vibrant orange blaze, taking it from his mouth and pressing it to the skin on my wrist while I yelped in pain. I wasn't going to cry, I wasn't going to give them that satisfaction.

"Give me your lighter." The one in front of me demanded of his partner. He flicked the flame out, grabbing hold of the same arm and hovering the heat just under my skin.

The burning had started out mild, getting greater the longer he held it in place. I had quickly gone from wincing to crying to screaming loudly in intense pain. I could smell my own skin.

It was burning.

I was burning.

My body felt like it was on fire, the heat was intensifying, I couldn't stop screaming. Someone needed to stop the pain, someone needed to save me.

"Kai!"

Someone was yelling for me.

"Kai!"

My entire body jolted as though shocked by lightning, my eyes hyper focusing on everything and everyone that suddenly surrounded me. Wyatt and a teacher I recognized as a counselor were both holding me back toward the wall. My heart was beating rapidly and I was drenched in sweat. My arm felt like it had been sunburned.

"Kai!" Wyatt yelled for a third time, letting me go and instead cupping his hands to my face with a bit of pressure. "Hey, it's alright!"

Everyone had stopped what they were doing and were now staring at me, Haru and his friends off to the side and giggling. They all looked at me like I had potatoes growing out of my ears and some whispered to one another.

"Come on." The teacher said, helping to get me to my feet as my legs trembled aggressively under me. Walking felt uncomfortable, like I could feel the world spin underneath me. Wyatt held my other side, no longer saying anything and instead looking at me in what I could only describe as horror. He had two welts on his bare arm and was covered with the indents of what I believed to be my nails and fingers digging into them. The welts were marked as well, with teeth… had I bitten him?

What had happened? Why didn't I remember anything?

I could hear Haru behind me laughing, mimicking dramatic screaming before falling into another fit of giggles.

Xxx

Wyatt and I sat in the office together until Ono-San entered the room, looking as though she had been rushed here in a hurry.

"What happened?" She asked. I wasn't sure if she was talking to Wyatt, the gym teacher, or the other teacher who had to help pin me down. Either way it was Wyatt who answered her.

"Haru pushed him." He stated. "Into the radiator. He just started freaking out..."

I didn't understand… what did he mean by freaking out?

"Let's see your arm." Ono-San said, holding a hand out to me. She took my elbow in her hand and examined me, a bright pink oval now taking up a chunk of my skin. "How hot is the radiator?" She asked.

"The nurse examined him." The female teacher stated. "He has a mild first degree burn, she recommends he ice it for a day or so."

"What was happening when you entered the room?"

"I got a call that there was an emergency and to get to the gym, Smithwright was trying to pin him down unsuccessfully. Hiwitari was screaming and appeared to be in a trance-like state and was beginning to get violent in an attempt to get away."

I blushed shamefully, holding my head down.

"Are you injured?" Ono-San asked, speaking more to both of them than one in particular.

"He clawed at me a bit but I'm more or less fine, he dug his teeth into Wyatt, though."

"I'm alright." Wyatt chimed in defensively. "I'm not bleeding or anything, I'm fine."

He spoke as though he feared what was going to happen to me, coming to my rescue when he was the one who needed saving and I was the one he needed it from.

"We're sending him to the hospital to be looked over, just as a precaution. Kai isn't suspended but we're asking that he not attend classes until he can get a note from his psychologist advocating his mental health and ensuring he isn't a danger to the rest of the students."

"Haru pushed him!" Wyatt continued. "He's the one who should be removed from school, not Kai. He's been bullying him."

"We can't suspend students based on word of mouth. As no adults saw what happened all we can do right now is conduct interviews with several students and try and piece together the story."

"I just told you the fucking story!"

I was expecting her to tell him to watch his mouth, instead taking a deep breath before looking at him.

"I understand that you want to help your friend," She said. "But if we threw out suspensions based only on what we were told, you would not be attending this school."

It was now Wyatt who looked down in shame. "We need to go about this the right way and I need both of you to make sure your going to an adult if you feel as though you're being bullied."

Her point wasn't unheard, both Wyatt and myself had our fair share of rumors going around about us and although we had been blamed for some of them, we had never been punished, something that sometimes surprised me.

Either way, I didn't care what happened to me, they could do what they wanted so long as Wyatt was alright.

"I'm sorry..." I mumbled. He had forgiven me once, how could I possibly expect him to forgive me twice?

"It's not your fault."

He had put his arms around me gently, being careful of where I had been burned. How could he possibly say that it wasn't my fault? Everything I did was my fault, I was supposed to protect him and once again I had hurt him.

"Smithwright, I'll need you to come with me." The counselor stated, placing a hand on his shoulder and encouraging him to get up.

"I think it's best that I stay with Kai. He should have someone with him."

I wanted to tell him to shut up. He was hurt, he should go with her and get checked out, he was the one who needed help right now, not me.

He needed help.

I could take care of myself.