Sorry for the delay in this chapter, I've had a lot of work to do and admittedly have been a bit distracted. Either way, I managed to make it through and honestly I like how it turned out for the most part.

Shout out to Inyo for giving me writing pointers whenever I ask and for being a good distraction in regards to coming up with comedic plot twists and dumb story lines. It always improves my day, haha.

Another shout out: I don't know who the anonymous person who left me a review was but it means a lot to me to know that people are actually reading and enjoying this story! I greatly appreciate it and feel free to send a message any time! I hate that I'll eventually need to end this story, it's been so much fun to write!

I had fallen asleep in Wyatt's bed again, something that hadn't happened in awhile and something that I had truly missed. Now awake, I held him tightly under his covers, head rested on his bare chest and clothing thrown aimlessly on the floor. We hadn't had sex, but we had once again taken the time to explore each others bodies, reminding me exactly how much more experienced he was. He knew exactly what to do to me and was easily able to get me off, all while I still had to rely on his help in regards to touching him that same way.

Even if we weren't ready to go any farther than that yet, my curiosity was suddenly getting the better of me, and as we lay intertwined within each others bodies I found myself wondering about other ways I could make him feel good…

I wanted to make him feel the way he had made me feel.

Wyatt was open about his experiences regarding oral sex and the thought had been on my mind more than usual lately. I had been wondering what he tasted like…

Either way I wasn't able to focus long on that curiosity, taken away from my own dirty thoughts by his fidgeting, eyes opening just enough where I knew he had woken up.

"I'm awake already." I informed him while he yawned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Congratulations." He mumbled.

"You're really not a morning person, are you?"

"You're one to talk. You're not an anything person."

I smiled slightly, taking in the sensation of his chest moving up and down while my arms wrapped around him. I wasn't sure how to describe my current state of comfort, unaccustomed to the relaxed feeling that was filling my chest and stomach.

So much of my anxiety had relaxed after I told my team- my friends, what I had long been keeping inside. They didn't hate me, they hadn't mocked me or called me cruel taunts.

I'm not sure I had even fully grasped the fear I had of losing them until I had realized that I hadn't lost them at all. I was so afraid of the concept of being abandoned yet again that I had never fully let any of them get close enough where it was an option.

Now I had.

My guard was down…

"We should probably go downstairs." I muttered quietly, pulling myself tighter into his chest.

His hand touched my cheek gently, lifting my head enough where he could kiss my temple before sitting upright. I had rolled off of him, plopping onto the spare pillow.

"You have a visitation before we leave for the field trip today, right?" He asked, still not sounding fully awake.

"Yeah." I nodded.

It had been awhile since I had seen my dad, everyone opting to give me space after my hospitalization and learning of my mothers fate. Riku was six now and I hadn't even bothered to call him on his birthday, which also caused me to wonder if my dad even knew when mine was.

"Are you feeling okay about it?"

I blushed when he got out of bed, suddenly fully taking in the realization that we had been intimate with one another and had fallen asleep naked. Wyatt didn't seem to care, making no attempt to cover himself while he dressed. Last night had been our first time being unclothed at the same time, bare skin touching while we lay together and tongues competing for dominance.

I hadn't noticed it the last time I had touched him, but he was bigger than me in that department, something I suddenly found myself quite insecure about. I had never thought about the possibility of him being larger than average.

Maybe that was why he didn't want to have sex with me, maybe he thought I couldn't take it.

"Kai?" He called out to me, bringing my wandering mind back to reality. "I asked how you felt about seeing your dad again?"

"I don't really want to..." I admitted shyly as he handed me yesterdays clothes for me to do the walk of shame back to my dorm in. "I want to see my little brother, though."

"You like him a lot, huh?"

I shrugged.

"He's the only family I really have who I can trust. It's not his fault our father abandoned me."

I wished so badly that my sister had lived… that I could have someone else who was a part of my mother, someone who may be able to love me the way that she had.

"I'd like to meet him someday." He said. "The idea of a tiny little Kai is just precious."

"You know what I looked like when I was little." I reminded him. "I have a photograph in my room where I'm only about three."

"I guess it just makes me a little bummed that we won't be able to have kids someday."

My blush darkened.

"It's a bit early for that talk, isn't it? I'm not even sixteen."

"I mean, I barley am either."

I was taken aback slightly by his comment, raising a confused eyebrow.

"Hang on… weren't you sixteen when I started school already?"

"Definitely not."

"When is your birthday?"

"April 20th."

A lump made its way into the pit of my stomach.

"Your birthday was last month? You never told me that."

I had seriously missed his birthday?

"Things were weird between us then, I didn't want you to feel obligated to do anything for me, besides you gave me a hand job around that time, I just view that as my present." He smiled slyly, pulling me into him after I finished dressing and we had both gotten to our feet.

"Given, you did pretty well last night too."

Looking away in mild shame, I bit at my lower lip. I didn't do well last night at all, he had done most of the work and had just given me credit for it.

"I'm terrible at it." I mumbled.

"You're way too hard on yourself. This is all new territory for you, I needed help my first time too."

I understood what he meant, but compared to Wyatt I felt like a late bloomer… He had been doing this for at least a year and has had sex with two different people, people who probably knew what they were doing. The idea of it all made me so uncomfortable.

"I'll be back later." I said while I finished dressing, leaving the comfort of his room in order to sign in for attendance early, hoping I could sneak out before everyone else had breakfast. I knew my father was a smoker but he had made it clear that his wife didn't approve, meaning that I might not have many chances for a break. If I smoked two in a row I should be able to get through the morning without a headache.

Tyson was really getting on my case now about quitting, concerned my well being. I was only concerned about how it would affect my endurance in battle.

Xxx

Much to my relief, it seemed that my visitation today actually would be a visitation as opposed to some sort of intervention to tell me my mom was dead. We were meeting at a local cafe instead of an unwelcoming office.

Riku was the first to notice me, squealing in delight and wrapping his arms around my legs, nearly tripping me.

"I'm six now, did you know that?" He asked, the gap where a milk tooth once lived making a faint whistle when he spoke.

I should have called him…

"Rikuto..." Our father interrupted, "Give him room to breath."

He had collected a new wardrobe recently, likely from having a birthday within the last two months, and his clothing was a bit baggy, making him seem smaller than he actually was. I had also noticed that his gray streak of hair seemed to be expanding, now rooting from around his ears.

"It's fine." I responded, pulling him onto my hip before walking to the table, a decision I regretted as it hit me how heavy he actually was.

Pretending to skim the drink menu while we sat, I allowed the tension to remain within the air, daring my father to be the one to initiate any conversation.

Ono-San cleared her throat slightly.

"You both understand that I won't be staying, is that correct?" She asked. "I'll be back for Kai in about two hours."

Hang on… what?

"We're just supposed to stay here alone?" I asked begrudgingly, discomfort clear in my voice. "Aren't my visitations supposed to be supervised?"

"Your father is no longer required to have supervised visitation, a part of the plan regarding getting you back into his care."

I hated it when they talked about custody… absolutely hated it. I felt like an animal being prepped for an adoption process, seen more as merchandise than a living being.

"I figured I could show you the new house." He shrugged. "If you would want to see it. It isn't much bigger than our other place but you'll have your own room."

"You moved?" I raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Your school and friends are here, correct? My wife and I figured it would make the transition easier if we got out of the city and more into an area you're accustomed to."

"Hang on. I'm not sure I even want this..."

"Kai, I'm not allowing you to be raised in a broken system."

"You put me in a broken system!"

Riku was looking at me now, eyes wide and filled with confusion. Our father had taken notice of it too, quieting his voice and placing a hand on my shoulder.

"How about you just come and take a look?" He said in a near whisper. "Then we'll be able to talk about it more privately."

Relaxing my shoulders, I attempted to steady my breathing, only doing so because Riku was there. I didn't fear confrontation, but I still had no idea if my last time seeing him caused any sort of psychological trauma and I had no idea if I might currently be triggering that.

He took my silence as a positive sign, taking the final sip of a cup of black coffee and pulling car keys from his pocket.

"How long of a drive is it?" I asked as quietly as I could muster.

"We won't be in the car more than five minutes."

"Nii-san," Riku interrupted, "You can sit with me if you don't want to sit in the front with Papa, I don't mind." He had taken hold of my hand while we walked, keeping as close to me as possible and leaning his head into my waist. "I can tell you where we're going and when we're almost there. Then you won't be nervous."

I took a moment to ruffle his hair while we walked, causing a giggle to escape and making my thoughts backtrack to what Wyatt had said earlier. I had never given much thought regarding my future and whether or not he would be in it, meaning I had most definitely never had the idea of marriage or a family enter my mind.

Did he really want kids someday?

Did I want that?

Was it okay for me not to have an answer to that question at my age?

Sighing slightly I got into the car, hoping it would be alright for me to become lost in thought, if only for a few minutes.

Xxx

I didn't have much to say in regard to my fathers new house, it was on the smaller side but it seemed that they preferred the idea of something cozy. It was also correct that I had a bedroom that I wouldn't be required to share with anyone, something that might seem like more of a luxury if I had a roommate at school, which I didn't.

"Do you like it here?" Riku asked as we sat on the carpeted floor of the bare bedroom.

"It's fine." I shrugged. "I won't be staying long, though." Not today at least.

"You don't like Papa."

Heat rose to my face when he spoke, unsure how I was supposed to explain my reasons to a six year old.

"No…" I answered honestly. "I don't."

"Why?"

I wasn't sure if I would get scolded for explaining my past to him; I also wasn't sure if he was even capable of understanding it. He was a smart kid, but as the end of the day he was still a kid, that innocence hadn't yet been ripped away.

"If I explain, will you not tell your parents that I told you?" I asked quietly, hiding my head in shame. I couldn't lie to him, I didn't want to treat him like he was too stupid to understand.

"Yeah." He shrugged.

"I need you to swear."

"Fuck."

A slight snort escaped my nose as the corners of my mouth formed a slight grin, causing me to bite my lower lip.

"No, I mean like, promise."

He nodded, looking at me intrigued.

"Okay."

"When I was about your age..." I explained awkwardly. "My grandfather- our grandfather, talked my parents into having me attend school at a place of his own creation, an Abbey."

"Papa makes me go to school too, I like it though."

"This was different. The people who ran The Abbey were mean, very mean. People would… hurt me."

Although he was listening, he didn't seem to fully understand my story.

"My mom had tried to get me out of that place but… she disappeared. Things got worse after that and when I was eight our dad left too… he never came back for me..."

I hoped I had explained it in a matter that was appropriate, leaving out the more gruesome details that he didn't yet need to know about.

"Is that why you made yourself die?"

The redness that already took up my face expanded, a lump forming in the pit of my stomach.

"I didn't die." I stated. "I mean, I could have… I think I almost did, but it's complicated. My brain doesn't… work the way most peoples does. I have a hard time feeling happy and sometimes my mind wanders away without me, like, I know I'm there but I'm not really controlling my actions. I think it's my body's way of trying to protect me."

Riku got up off the ground, walking toward me and climbing into my lap before wrapping his arms around my neck.

"I'm sorry Papa made you sad." He said.

As he let go of me, our father opened the door to the bedroom, shooing Riku out with a promise of sweets and taking a seat on the bed.

"I know it's not much." He said quietly. "I don't know much about your taste in décor and figured it would be better if I just let you do the decorating."

"They can't force me to stay here."

"Kai, we talked about this…"

"You can't just pop back into my life as though nothing happened. If my grandfather hadn't been arrested you wouldn't care what happened to me. You never looked for me or contacted me, you never even sent me a letter."

He moved off the bed and onto the floor, pulling me into his chest tightly. He had tears in his eyes.

"I didn't know how bad it was..." He began. "Whenever I reached out to my father all he talked about was how much better off you were without me. He had always complained that you were too soft, insisting that he could make a man out of you better than I could, how we were too easy on you."

"I was a child. I didn't need to be made into anything, I needed my dad."

"Your mother would have never forgiven me for what I allowed to happen to you… Voltaire had never approved of my wife, never approved of her kindness and loving nature. Son, your mother loved you so much more than words could ever describe. If she were alive, I don't think I could even stomach looking at her after what I did to you."

"If you hadn't gone back to my grandfather she would be alive."

"She saw the good in everyone, that's why she wanted me to rekindle my relationship with my father. He had a grandchild he hardly knew, you were growing up into a kind and loving little boy… it… concerned me..."

I pulled away from him.

"Concerned you how?"

"I knew he would see you as soft. I didn't think he would approve of you."

I turned my head so that he couldn't see me, burying myself into my legs.

"You knew, then..."

"Knew?"

"That I was gay."

He touched a hand to my head, smoothing my hair out.

"Your mother had brought it up a few times, wanting to make sure I was prepared for the possibility." He paused. "I think she knew, maybe I was just in denial. It never changed how we felt about you, though. You were still our little boy."

"Is that why you agreed to have me toughened up? Because it didn't matter?"

I hated how vague my memories of my mother were compared to my memories that were coming back from my time in The Abbey. I did remember things, that was true, but it was vague. I could remember her voice, remembered being sung to sleep at night, but I wanted more than that.

I couldn't remember how soft her skin was, or what her hair felt like on my face. I couldn't remember the comfort of her arms wrapped around me or what it felt like to be kissed goodnight.

I couldn't remember the life I had been entitled to… one which had been ripped away from me.

"I don't blame you for not forgiving me." My father said after the silence went on for too long.

"I'll never forgive you." I said bluntly. "I hate you."

He sighed, kissing the top of my head before standing up to leave.

"I know..." He said.

Xxx

I had managed to make it back to school as the bus was loading to take us downtown to the train station, thankful that I had packed a bag the night before and didn't need to rush. Wyatt was waiting for me along with the rest of his friends, all of whom already smelled of weed and cigarettes.

"You know smoking doesn't cover up the smell of the drugs, right?" I asked with a roll of the eyes. It was a miracle that none of them had been caught yet.

"It helps a little." Avery shrugged.

It actually didn't, but there was no point in pulling him out of his fantasy world.

"How did everything go with your dad?" Wyatt asked, taking my hand in his cautiously.

"I don't want to talk about it right now."

This trip represented the end of the school year, meaning I only had two weeks left to figure out where the hell my life would be going for the next few months. I wanted to stay here during the summer, I wanted Wyatt to stay with me.

"Of course." He said gently.

That was the thing about Wyatt… He always put my needs before his own. Honestly, I think he put just about everyone's before his own. I owed him so much more than I had actually given him.

I wanted to make up for that…

"Come on." I said with a fake smile, pulling him along side me. "We might as well get moving before we're stuck sitting with teachers."

"Depends on the teacher." He smirked with a shrug of the shoulders. "We have a few I wouldn't mind falling asleep in the lap of."

Playfully, I smacked him in the back of the head.

"You don't even draw the line at teachers?"

"How do you think he manages straight A's?" Avery elbowed him, toning down his humor at the sight of my raised eyebrow. "I'm only kidding, I swear."

"About the sex with teachers or about him having straight A's?" I asked, only half joking.

"The world will never know."

Wyatt shoved him gently, a small smile on his face. Soon we would be alone in a hotel bedroom, split apart from everyone else by only a privacy divider. We were alone in our rooms all the time, hell, we were more alone in our dorms than we would be in a hotel that we were sharing between six different people, but something felt different. Maybe it was the idea of being in such a big city, maybe it was having less of a chance of being caught by security, maybe it was having more of a chance at being caught by someone else.

I wasn't completely sure.

At the end of the day there was only one thing I truly knew.

I wanted him.