AN- Thank you all so much for reading! You all inspire me so much! You have made writing this so much fun!

I am doing something a little different this time and starting the chapter with a Flashback hopefully I didn't make it to confusing.. and I hope you enjoy! There is only one or so more chapters of this story left.. Thank you very much for joining me on this journey. This story has been my very favorite to write.

Answers to your questions if I will write more Grey's after... I have a sequal to this story started. I am not sure if you all will like it or not...but we can give it a try. :)

I also have an AU Meredith and Lexie story started that I may post... So long answer yes.. I will probably write more Grey's stories, but they will probably always be Lexie and Meredith focused. I just love writing them. Exploring their relationship. I am a sucker for sisters. :)

AGAIN THANK YOU ALL for this journey...and I'll stop rambling now..

ENJOY :-)

*Back at the hospital after Molly and Thatcher died*

"Hi there."

Lexie opened her eyes slowly to see Derek sitting next to her bed with a newspaper in his hands.

She spotted Meredith's head resting by her hand. "She's been crying." Lexie spoke quietly as she studied her sister's face. Seeing her blotchy red cheeks and nose. "Recently?"

Derek nodded "We gave her something to help her calm down, she just fell asleep. How are you feeling?"

Lexie reached out and ran her hand gently over Meredith's forehead. When her sister didn't move she realized she was out.

"Do you want some water?" Derek asked, standing.

"Her back is going to hurt, Derek." Lexie ran her fingers through the blonde hair.

"I am going to move her to the bed in a little bit." Derek promised "I just wanted to give her some time. "

"I didn't dream it, did I?" Lexie asked, twirling Meredith's blonde hair around her fingers gently. "You and Cristina came into my room and told me Molly died?"

Derek took a deep breath and nodded "We did."

"And I popped my stitches?" She asked, reliving her last hazy memories.

Derek nodded "Cristina got you stitched back up."

She placed her hand on her stomach and winced at the pain it caused her. "Derek, I feel like there is one more piece missing…" Her eyes going to Meredith. "She's really upset."

Derek nodded "She is, her relationship with your father was complicated, but he was still her father…"

Lexie ran her hand over Meredith's head again. "What piece am I missing?" She demanded. "What isn't she telling me? What aren't you telling me?"

Derek exhaled, "Let's wait until Meredith wakes up."

"Can't get worse then my father and sister dying, can it?" Lexie challenged. "Tell. Me. Derek."

Derek took a deep breath. "Lexie…"

"Tell me!" She yelled, slamming her hand that wasn't on Meredith's head on the bed next to her.

Meredith's head popped up startled by the jarring of the bed and Lexie's raised voice. "What's happening… what's wrong?"

Lexie felt bad for a brief second for waking her clearly exhausted and medicated sister. "Sorry, Meredith." She ran her fingers through Meredith's hair again as her eyes narrowed at Derek. "Damn it Derek, Suck it up and tell me."

Meredith rubbed her eyes tiredly "Why are we yelling?" as she straightened her back, wincing at how tight it felt.

"The person that ran through the crosswalk." Derek began.

"What, wait..now?" Meredith asked as she tried to ground herself. Her body felt heavy from the pill Derek had given her.

"The man who hit Molly and Thatcher died at the scene. He had been trying to get away quickly.'" Derek explained "And you knew him…Recently"

Lexie brought her hand to her mouth as her body began to shake. As a thought she had in the back of her mind became her worst nightmare. "No..."

Meredith quickly climbed up onto the bed as she pulled her sister into her arms. "Breathe, Lex." She whispered. "You have to breathe." She insisted. How she wished her brain didn't feel so foggy. She couldn't formulate the thoughts she knew she needed for her sister but the words were not coming.

"My God..." Lexie cried out. "I did this… Meredith. I did this. I killed my family!"

"No..." Meredith's voice cracked as she tried to gain composure herself. While her body felt heavy and tired, drugged. "You didn't do this. Lexie."

"I did." Lexie cried out as she tried to push Meredith away from her. "It's all my fault" Lexie felt a piece of herself shatter in that moment. In that moment she knew she would never be okay again.

Lexie Grey was broken.

*Present Time*

Lexie and Meredith were still on the floor of Meredith's bedroom, both now sitting cross legged across from each other. Laundry still flung over the room. Each holding a cup of steaming tea in their hands. Neither of them knew who or when someone delivered tea and sandwiches to the room. Yet Meredith was extremely grateful for whoever had.

The tea with lemon and honey was soothing the back of her throat, which now felt hot and dry as a lump seemed wedged in there.

Lexie was holding her close to her body just allowing the steam to help warm and soothe her. Her face red and blotchy from crying. Every few minutes her body would spasm with a stuttered breath. Indicating how deeply she'd been crying.

"You've never told anyone this before?" Meredith asked, breaking the silence they'd been sitting in for a while."

Lexie shook her head as she kept her eyes on her tea. "I had nightmares for years." She paused for a moment before sneaking a small glance at Meredith before looking back at her mug. "Actually sometimes I still have them." She admitted. "Everyone used to tell me how cool my photographic memory was. How impressive it was that I was able to skip the third grade...But for a lot of my childhood it just seemed to torture me...Still does." She swallowed hard trying to keep composure. "I can't escape sometimes, but my mom helped me." She sighed quietly and her body shuddered again. "I wish my mom was here."

"I wish your mom was here, too." Meredith said sincerely. How she wished Susan was still alive right now. She'd know how to help. She would be the best person for Lexie. Susan seemed like the mom who knew how to mom. Unlike her own mother. Who would have just left Meredith to figure out the demons under the bed all on her own. Her mother set her up in life to be smart and successful. To have a brilliant career. However her mother gave her no tools for real life issues. She had nothing in her tool box to help her sister, and if she couldn't help her sister, how would she ever be able to help her own children. She tried to push those thoughts away "How'd your mom help?" She asked, sipping her tea. Maybe Lexie herself could give her some tools on how to handle this.

"Lots of different ways." Lexie answered quietly. "She took me to a therapist, spent time with me. Listened to me… She didn't judge me. She was never annoyed with me when I cried. She never once told me I lived in La La Lexie world. She always just told me I had a big brilliant brain that worked to hard and an overly compassionate sensitive heart… and she would tell me that's what made me special." bit her lip and looked up at Meredith. "Honestly a lot like you have been doing for me the last few weeks. I am glad that if I can't have my mom, that I have you."

While Meredith was touched at the compliment she groaned inside. That didn't give her anything to work with. She looked up from her mug of tea holding it closer as she scooted closer to Lexie. She moved the mug into one hand, while she rested her other hand on Lexie's knee, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I am touched." She said honestly "And I am sorry for the ways that I am failing you, but I am glad I am here with you."

"I shouldn't let all of this bother me so much. It was years ago. It really isn't a big deal. Maybe I really am crazy." Lexie exhaled. "Tami got me out of there before anything really bad happened."

"Disagree." Meredith quickly.

"Nothing happened." Lexie reminded her "And I should have told my parents. i put countless other children in danger…" She scoffed "I am just as guilty…" She set the mug of tea down on the tray "To make matters worse, I didn't learn my lesson. I just kept my assault all to myself. Thinking if I ignored it. You'd stay safe and it would all just go away…" She scoffed "And people say I am gifted and smart. More like gullible and stupid."

"That. is. Enough '' Meredith warned, setting her own mug of tea town. "I will not tolerate you berating yourself like that."

"Meredith…"

"No" Meredith held up her finger "Would you say any of that about me?"

Lexie's brows furrowed together before shaking her head quickly. "Of course not. You're smart..Strong..You would have handled this all differently."

Meredith eased herself off the bedroom floor as she began to pace it quietly stepping over laundry. Lost in her own thoughts for a moment. Lexie's eyes following her pacing.

The room became silent for what felt like forever for both of them.

"Meredith…" Lexie started to say as she slowly got up. "I am…"

"Stop" The older sister held up her hand and motioned to the bed. "Climb in."

Lexie looked confused. "Mer…"

Meredith pointed to the bed again before heading into the bathroom.

"I will say you're bossy… very bossy." Lexie rolled her eyes as she picked up her tea mug from the floor and moved it to Meredith's bedside table taking her sister's spot on the bed. She pushed back the covers and climbed in pulling them up to her chin. Realizing that she was cold again.

Meredith returned a few minutes later now dressed in pajamas. Her hair is up in a messy bun. Her face washed. The light makeup she did wear was gone. She also held some pills in the palm of her hand and motioned Lexie to hold out her hand.

Lexie took the medicine that Meredith had somehow taken over managing and swallowed them without any water. Making Meredith cringe. "Don't you worry they'll get stuck in the back of your throat?" She asked.

"Nope" Lexie shrugged, reaching for her tea though.

"Gross." Meredith replied as crawled onto Derek's side of the bed since her sister had taken hers. She pulled her cellphone out of her pocket and checked it for messages and sent a quick one to Derek before tossing it to the bedside table. It landed with a thumping sound making Lexie wince.

"You're going to break your phone if you keep doing that…" Lexie warned "And you're a doctor...You need your phone."

"I have done worse to it." Meredith replied she leaned her head back against the headboard looking straight up at the ceiling but out of the peripheral vision she could see the heart drawn onto the wall. That seeming to give her some comfort and strength.

Lexie was sitting quietly next to her playing with the hem of the blanket not knowing what to say. Yet knowing she was wanted in the room.

"I don't like hearing you talk so poorly of yourself" Meredith finally spoke. "You're my kid sister, and if we were children right now and I heard someone saying what you say about yourself on the play yard, I'd make them eat knuckle sandwiches for days."

Lexie gave Meredith a sideways glance as she fought back a smile.

"It's one of those things, I know we fight sometimes." Meredith admitted "I know I push your buttons, and I know you have figured out how to push mine. From my understanding that's a sibling thing. I know I am new to being a sister… It's one of those things...I can tease you but nobody else better…."

"Except for Cristina…" Lexis scoffed.

"Consider her your adopted big sister. You're mine, therefore you are hers too...and I keep her on a better reign these days." Meredith smiled

"Comforting." Lexie stated but smiled at the same time.

"The thing is Lex, you think that I am this cool big sister." Meredith went on ignoring the comment "That I am different, stronger…. "

"You…"

Meredith held up her hand silencing her. "You think I am bad ass, unsinkable...That all I have gone through has made me into some kind of superhero…"

"I wouldn't say superhero….because that's unrealistic..." Lexie started as Meredith placed her hand on her arm silencing her.

"The last few weeks have been hell for you." Meredith stated "I have watched you go through literal hell on earth…"

Lexie's eyes fell to her lap as her cheeks blushed. "I am sorry…"

"Stop" Meredith tucked the blankets around them tighter before leaning over and resting her ear on Lexie's shoulder finding a spot on the wall to look as she spoke.

Lexie was surprised for a moment by her sister's actions. Her body stiffened for a moment before relaxing, allowing Mer's head to rest on her shoulder. She pulled her hand out from under the blanket and rested it on Meredith's leg. The older sister followed the action and rested her own hand over Lexie's.

"I have watched you walk through hell" Meredith repeated this time uninterrupted by the little Grey. "I have watched you fight inner demons. I have seen you expose your scars. I've seen you at some very vulnerable moments... and I Alexandra Caroline Grey, am in awe of you. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit to be….You think you're broken...but you're not."

Lexie blushed slightly but didn't say anything.

"The more I watched the more I listened, I realized we are more alike than I first thought…" She cleared her throat "You're caught up on not telling people about vulnerable parts of your life. Where you were hurt…" She took a deep breath. "Do you know when I was a little girl, my mother ended up in the hospital not once but twice, one time she tried to kill herself."

"You mentioned something about it…" Lexie admitted.

"My mother slit her wrists in front of me, I watched as blood began to pool around her, on the table, the kitchen floor. It just kept flowing...I begged her to let me help….She threatened me...I had to wait until she passed out to get help."

Lexie's own eyes welled up with tears thinking about the fear her sister must have felt.

"And again, she ended up in the hospital with stomach pains, I don't know fully what was wrong with her that time, but when she came home. She wasn't the same. She was even more withdrawn. Even more distant. She cried these sorrowful tears at night when she thought I was asleep. I didn't tell anyone... "

Lexie raised her eyebrow.

"I didn't tell teachers, or friends or other doctors. I was old enough to know something wasn't right, but I didn't tell...I didn't know what would happen."

"Meredith, you were just a little girl…"

Meredith nodded "And had I told, had a social worker got involved, realizing my mother may have needed some help. I bet dad would have been called. I bet they would have forced him to take me for awhile...We could have been together...Maybe I could have been there the day Tami took you to that apartment. Maybe I could have intervened…"

"We can't live in the what if's Meredith, and you were a little girl. You didn't know." Lexie insisted.

Meredith squeezed Lexie's hand "You were a baby, when Tami put you in a horrible situation."

"It could have been worse." Lexie tried. "He could have gone farther, and Tami stopped him before it did."

"Could have been worse," Meredith agreed. "My mother could have died in front of me too, could have been worse...We're not doing that." She shook her head "We are not taking our trauma's and dismissing them because they could have been worse."

Lexie nodded after a minute as she closed her eyes. "You're right."

"We both have had horrible things happen to us." Meredith whispered "Things that might have broken other people, but you and I...We might bend, we might scar but we are not broken...You are not broken.. You're not crazy, you're a Grey... And you are not to blame for what happened to you when you were three... you're not responsible for what happened to dad and Molly." She insisted her tone serious. "Adam misused his hurt and anger from a horrible tragic situation."

Lexie's breath hitched in her throat as she listened to Meredith talk.

"He had the choice on how he grieved." She went on. "He had the opportunity and the years to learn to channel that grief into a more healthy outlet. There is help out there. He chose to carry it. He chose to let it consume him. He chose to take it out on you. He chose to come back to taunt you. He chose to flee the hospital, and he chose to drive his car at high speeds...Those were his choices...The person to blame for Molly and Dad's death fall on him and him alone Lexie. We can not live in the world of what if's ..."

The room grew quiet again as they both sat with their thoughts. Fresh tears were now rolling down Lexie's cheeks silently. Meredith's head is still resting on her shoulder.

"You have all this grief and pain consuming you right now, and it's all raw." Meredith went on "Let's channel it together, in a healthy way."

"How?" Lexie asked, almost afraid of the answer.

Meredith smiled as she squeezed Lexie's hand. "Let's talk to someone together, there is no shame in asking for help. We know that now, let's take what we have learned...and do better than Adam, better than my mom." She paused for a moment as she thought carefully about her words. "you said your mom had you see a therapist...Your mom knew how to be a mom and she knew how to love you. How to love me. How to even give us some road maps and tools."

Lexie smiled she couldn't argue that fact about her mother. However she also remembered how hard Meredith fought her therapist. She'd learned later on that the day she'd given her big sister a piece of her mind in the bathroom. Her therapist had been there the entire time. Listening. "You fought your therapist so hard…."

"I know" Meredith admitted "It took me awhile to get ready...But when I finally let myself I did learn there is no shame… And I learned more about me...I started become less dark and twisted."

"Together?" Lexie asked quietly. She knew Meredith was right, but she wasn't ready to do it on her own. "You'll come with me?"

"I will…" Meredith nodded "For a while, until it's time for you to spread your own wings again. My heart tells me it will help our sister relationship too...We are building this big beautiful relationship between the two of us late in the game...A few extra hands to smooth out some bumps can't hurt." She reasoned.

"I am sorry I said I hated you." Lexie whispered as Meredith lifted her head from her shoulder to look at her.

"I know you didn't mean it, Lex."

"I love you...Meredith...I hope you know how much I love you."

"I do" Meredith ran her hand over Lexie's braid. "and it's a gift to be loved by Lexie Grey."

She smoothed the pillows out and sank down. "And tonight we're going to sleep this crappy day off, and tomorrow we will start fresh, and start on healing...Yes?"

"Derek?" Lexie asked sliding down to rest her head on the pillow.

"I told him I was having a slumber party with my little sister tonight, and he needed to figure something else out." Meredith laughed. "He's getting drinks with Mark tonight, and will probably crash in your room, if that's okay with you...but tonight...we stay here, together. Grey sister's against the world."

Lexie rubbed her eyes. Her body was sore. She was mentally and physically exhausted and she was right where she wanted to be. For the first time in days she actually felt a glimmer of hope return. Telling Meredith about her childhood seemed to free something inside her. She felt lighter. The grief of losing her father and sister were still eating at her, but there felt like there was a little more room inside her soul for some light. The shadows were starting to leave.

Meredith smiled at Lexie as she reached out and ran her fingers over Lexie's forehead. "Someday, I want to have a proper sister sleepover, where we talk about boys and whisper all night long giggling…" She choked "Okay, maybe not, that sounds dumb and cheesy…" She teased, causing Lexie to snort. "But some day, on better terms we will have a fun sister sleepover, where you aren't in pain, deal?" She had switched to running her hand over Lexie's hair and watched as the younger Grey's Kryptonite took over causing her eyes to grow heavy and start to close, sleep coming quickly.

"Deal" She responded back before her breathing became slow and steady.

Meredith pulled her hand back and smiled "I have all the power in my fingers…" She smirked to herself. Knowing the secret of getting Lexie to fall asleep quickly, sharing that trait with Susan made Meredith's heart swell a little. Made her feel connected. Something she herself had longed for since childhood.

She knew the road Lexie was on was going to be rough and painful. She knew it wouldn't get better overnight. She knew more tears were coming. More anger, more rage...but she also knew more laughter, more hope and joy were also coming. For the first time in weeks she felt like she was equipped to lead her sister down this road. She also knew the healing that was coming down the line wasn't just for Lexie, but for herself as well and she was ready to face it head on with her little sister by her side.