Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

Reasons Why I Hate James Potter

1. He always runs his fingers through his hair

2. He's ugly inside and out

3. He's mean to Severus and a childish bully

4. He just likes annoying me and it's just a game to him

5. His friends are… the worst?

It took her a few days to get her sleep schedule back in order, but until then, Lily walked around like a zombie from class to class wondering how Remus managed to survive like this every month. Now, the Marauders had the same fate, but they seemed better adjusted than Lily who desperately needed her beauty sleep, but also wanted to pay attention in class. The Marauders just slept through class and their problems were solved.

She knew she couldn't tell the Marauders she knew their secret, but she also knew she wanted to help them as much as she could…and maybe have a little fun with it while she was at it.

Sirius had confronted her the day after their first full moon and Lily braced herself for the rude and annoying words that usually came out of his mouth. Surprisingly, they never came.

"I didn't realize how bad James's injuries were," he told her, getting straight to the point. "I think we were all so dead tired and I didn't check and that was my fault. So thank you for taking care of him. He was all bandaged up. I just gave him some healing potion and the rest of the scar healed itself up."

"Oh, sure, no problem," Lily replied, thinking the conversation was over, but Sirius pulled her back in.

"He did seem a bit bummed after he came back though. Any reason why?" he asked conversationally, but there was a threatening air behind it.

Lily didn't mind it because she knew that it came out of a place of love (for James, not her, obviously), so she decided to let it slide.

"I think you're barking mad, Sirius," she teased. "Maybe you should just mind your own business."

Sirius's posture stiffened and his eyes turned cold. "Barking?"

"Yes, barking. It's a figure of speech. No need to hound me about every little thing that goes wrong."

Sirius eyes her suspiciously but couldn't accuse her of anything without saying what it was he was accusing her off, so he gritted his teeth and walked away. "See you around, Evans," he grunted.

"Hey!" Lily called after him as he walked away. "Quit muttering around me! I can't hear you!"

"Fuck off!" he shouted, his back still to her.

"Well I could hear that just fine," Lily scoffed.

Anytime Lily found herself around the Marauders, she tried to let her pun making skills shine through. It became the highlight of her day when she managed a pun that actually correlated with the boys' true Animagus form.

During lunch, when Peter would gossip and update the Marauders about the latest Hogwarts scandal, Lily would chime in and say, "Why are you ratting them out, Peter?"

Peter would blush and duck his head, remaining quiet through the rest of the meal.

During break, when a student announced there was a party in the Hufflepuff commons, the Marauders discussed prospective dates to the party. Sirius had his eye on the very vivacious Marlene McKinnon and Remus was considering asking out the beautiful Dorcas Meadowes.

When they asked James who he wanted to ask, he just shrugged his head and said he didn't really want to take anyone at the moment.

"Oh," Lily said from a spot nearby, "So you're going stag then, I assume?"

Eyes widening at the four letter word, James stuttered, "What? Oh, yeah, to the party. Right. Yes."

Lily bit her lower lip to keep from smiling. "Sounds fun."

After the aforementioned party, Sirius stumbled through Gryffindor doors gleefully narrating the highlights of his make out session with Marlene.

"You absolute dog, Sirius Black," Lily commented, eyes twinkling, "Sounds like you had a good time."

Sirius's expression turned sour and he walked away. "I'm going to bed."

James looked concerned and chased after him, wondering what was wrong with his best friend all of a sudden.

While Lily had her fun, she also tried to help Remus as much as she could.

"I can bring you my notes if you're not feeling well, Remus. I know that the guys' handwriting isn't the easiest to understand," she said as she approached him after they had left Potions class.

"Why?" Remus asked suspiciously.

"I'm sorry I accused your friends of beating you up. I want to make it up to you and you don't have to tell me what's wrong with you or even if anything's wrong with you. I just want to help on days that might not be as great as others. When you, ehm, fall down stairs and such."

Remus blinked a few times, standing still in the middle of the hall, trying to process Lily's words, "Well in that case, do you have Slughorn's notes from last week? Honest to Merlin, James can't write legibly for shit."

Lily grinned. "I've got it right here."

When Lily handed her notes to Remus and he left, she began putting the rest of her notes back into her bag, but didn't really get to finish when an arm wrapped around her wrist and stopped her moving. It wasn't a tight grip, but she couldn't move her arm.

She looked up and was met with the glowering face of Sirius Black.

Sirius pulled Lily aside roughly, bringing her into one of the cavities of the hallway. "I know you know."

"You know I know what?" Lily whipped her arm out of Sirius's clutch and punched him in the shoulder for treating her like that.

"You know." He tilted his stare and maintained eye contact.

Lily pursed her lips and put her hands on her hips, "No, I don't think I know what you think you know I know, you know?"

Sirius's grip on her tightened, "Stop joking around, I—"

"So you want me to be Sirius?"

Sirius glared at her. "James won't believe me; he thinks you're absolutely perfect and believes every damn word that comes out of your mouth, but I know you're taunting us. You're not as innocent as James seems to think you are."

She considered denying it and playing the innocent James believed she was, but Lily quickly realized her puns had gone too far, especially with Sirius. He was smarter than he looked.

She nodded resignedly. "I know."

Sirius pumped his fists, "I knew it!" but his expression turned fearful as his concerns were confirmed, "You can't tell—"

"I won't," Lily reassured him.

"You'll tell Snivellus."

"I won't tell Severus."

"How do I know you won't blab and get us all into trouble? You haven't really been affectionate towards the four of us and you are a goody two-shoes if I ever met one."

"I am not a goody two-shoes! I got a detention once."

"One detention… that was first year and I heard you bitched and moaned the whole time."

"Fine, let's make a deal. I won't tell anyone I know, if you won't tell the other Marauders I know."

"I don't keep secrets from them."

"Really, Black?"

"Fine, Evans. We are bonded by our secrets now and forever."

"I'm not joining your cult, Padfoot."

"Don't call me that."

"Alright, alright. We're not there yet."

"We're never going to get there."

"You just said we were bonded forever."

"That's not a good thing, Evans!" Sirius said with great exasperation.

"I was just joking."

"I don't joke around with people who hurt my friends and treat them like shit," Sirius scowled.

"You're talking about Potter?"

"James."

"Then what about Severus?" Lily asked, angered at the hypocrisy. "You treat him like shit and—"

"And what? You don't bitch and moan about that?"

"Stop saying I bitch and moan about everything!" Lily took a second to calm down. "Let's just agree to keep this a secret and never speak to each other again. Agreed?"

Lily held out her hand.

Sirius studied it for a moment before accepting. "Agreed."

They sealed the deal with a firm handshake.

Of course in a true Lily Evans fashion, nothing worked out as it should have.

The next full moon approached a month later and Sirius and Lily had managed to avoid each other as much as possible.

The night of Remus's transformation. Lily stayed up the whole night, just as she had last time, just to make sure everyone came back alive and intact.

Sitting on the couch of the common room and staring into the warm fireplace, Lily was just about to drift of when she heard the three thumping footsteps of the haggard Marauders.

Jumping out of her seat, wide awake once more, Lily quickly examined James (sorry, all three of the boys), to make sure he (they) was okay.

James was fine, a little bruised but nothing that wouldn't heal the next day. Sirius on the other hand had a giant lump on the side of his head that was red and growing. Lily could have sworn it was actually pulsing with its own heartbeat. James and Peter each had one arm of Sirius slung around their shoulders and it looked like they were dragging him forward, since Sirius didn't seem to want to use his feet.

"Holy shit," she said under her breath as she walked towards the boys and looked at the head injury.

"Lily," James said, his voice panicky, "Sirius. He's… he's—"

"I'm Sirius!" Sirius declared loudly and then proceeded to giggle. "Seriously."

"I think he has a concussion or lost some brain cells or—"

Lily was considering making a joke, but decided to save it when Sirius wasn't as at risk for permanent brain damage.

Lightly touching the red bump on his head, Lily looked at James. "Let's take him to the Room of Requirement."

Swallowing roughly, James nodded and with Lily taking the lead and James and Peter carrying the injured Sirius, the group made their way forward.

The whole way there, Sirius kept muttering nonsense words and giggling at his own language. The frown lines on James's face kept getting deeper and deeper as they trudged on.

Peter kept slipping under the weight of Sirius, so it was up to James to carry Sirius up the stairs. Luckily, the halls were empty and they got to the room without much struggle.

The Room of Requirement was designed the same way the last time Lily was there. When it was just her and James. When she kissed him.

"Sirius stop groping me," Peter squeaked as Sirius pawed at the short, mousy boy.

"Get him on the table." Lily instructed. She had done more reading up on anything that could go wrong during a full moon and she was more prepared than last time.

"Sirius, what I'm gonna do is put some ice on it and see if the swelling goes down, okay?"

"Okie dokie, artichokie." Sirius smiled widely, his eyes looking dazed.

Placing the ice pack on his head, Lily proceeded with her next text. "I'm holding out my hand, I need you to point to my index finger."

Sirius pointed to her pinky.

Lily pursed her lips. "I might need to give you a potion. Too much, you could get worse. Just enough, it'll knock you out for a few hours and you'll be good as new the next day."

"How much is too much? What do you mean by worse?" James interrogated Lily like an over-protective mother.

"Ehm, we calculate his weight and uh, other stuff and go from there, I think."

"Other stuff?" James practically screeched. His hands went straight to his hair and Lily worried he might pull it all out in his worry.

He may have cared deeply for Lily, but at that moment, the only person who mattered to him was Sirius and Lily completely understood.

"Yes," Lily said, softly but with reassurance. "It's a common potion that healers use when dealing with concussions. I'm sure Madame Pomfrey has given it to your Quidditch playing friends many times. The chance that the potion will have an adverse effect is slim to none."

"Please, Lily," James begged, "Please don't let anything happen to him."

"Yeah, Lily," Peter said with soft, watery eyes. If Peter had the courage to talk to her, Lily knew he was scared for his friend.

"I promise I won't let anything happen."

It was a risky promise to make and Lily knew that. There was a reason only Healers administered the potion because it was a dangerous one. Even a little bit over the dosage and Sirius could have permanent damage.

Taking the bottle of silvery white potion, Lily did the calculations and remembered everything she had read up on it from before. She tilted the bottle and measured the fluid out with exact precision.

"Drink this, Sirius," she helped tilt the boy's mouth and made sure he drank every drop as James and Peter stood to the side, nervously watching.

Nothing happened for a minute.

Sirius sat there in silence, his back straight up as he stared into void space.

James walked towards his best friend in three quick strides and waved his hand in front of his face. "Sirius!"

Lily pushed James away from her patient. "Let him be, James. Let the potion take its effect."

"What if you gave him too much? What if he doesn't get better?" James's voice strained and cracked under mounting pressure, "What if this—? What if I—"

Lily kept her hand against his chest to keep him from jostling the comatose boy. "Let him be."

James gazed at his friend and then turned and began to pace back and forth. Peter stood in one place and shook with anxiety, tapping his foot and biting his nails.

After five more minutes of waiting, Sirius's eyes started to droop and he fell back against the mattress of the hospital bed.

"Was that…" James stared at Sirius's still body. "Was that supposed to happen?"

At that moment, Sirius let out a loud and deafening snore.

Lily giggled and bit her lower lip. "We're in the clear. He's going to be okay."

"Thank Merlin," James put his hand on his forehead and released a shaky breath.

"Thank Lily, you mean," she corrected.

James wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "Thank Lily," he said, his words tickling her ear and making her feel things in the pit of her stomach.

Hastily pulling back from the hug, Lily put a stray piece of her red hair behind her ear. "You are welcome. Now I suggest you boys get some sleep too."

"You don't have to tell me twice," Peter said. He wished his goodbyes and left the room to go to his comfortable bed.

"I can't leave Sirius in here." James scratched the back of his head and yawned.

"I didn't think you would," Lily replied, "The head injury potion only takes care of the severe concussion part of his injury. His head is going to hurt when he wakes up. Just give him some more ice for the swelling and a little bit of this pain-relieving potion." Lily handed him the ice pack and the recommended medicine.

"I really can't express how grateful I am for this. Both times," James looked at her with his hazel eyes. This was the first time he mentioned the last time they were here.

"I was up anyway; it's not like I had anything better to do," she joked.

"Speaking of that, why were you up so late anyway?"

"I was studying for an exam tomorrow," Lily lied quickly and then cringed when she realized her mistake. She and James took the same classes.

"What exam?"

"Did I say tomorrow? I meant next week. I like to be prepared."

"Oh… okay," James stretched his legs out and rubbed tiredly at his eyes.

She wondered who in their right mind would pull an all-nighter for an exam that was the next week. Sirius was right when he said James believed every word that came out of her mouth.

"And about, uh, why Sirius was injured tonight. We, uh, were, uh—"

"It was those damn poles again, right? You were playing Quidditch?" Lily helped him.

"Right!" James perked up, agreeing with the lie. "Exactly. They were... erm... very sharp."

Lily nodded in agreement. "Alright, I'm going to bed now. Unless you have any other harmful injuries you're not telling me about?"

"My thumb hurts a little, but I'm sure it's just bruised."

"Let me see it." Lily held out her hand and took James's into it. "Bruised?" she said as she gently touched it and watched him wince. "It's broken, James."

"Is it really?" James asked curiously.

"Nothing a simple spell won't fix right up." Pointing her wand at the site of damage, Lily said, "Episkey."

A snap and a pop and the thumb was back where it was supposed to be.

James wiggled it a little, feeling better already. "What would I do without you, Evans?"

"Die, probably," she teased.

"Probably," James grinned, "You should go to bed now."

"Probably." Lily stood at the door and turned back to look at him. "I'll come back later in the day and check up on you, yeah?"

"Yeah, okay," James agreed.

"Goodnight, Potter."

"Night, Evans."

Sirius greeted her the next day as she was getting some food at the dining hall, "So you're just gonna stay up all night with us every full moon?" Sirius asked, grunting in pain as Lily attempted to check the size of his injury. "That's gonna be your thing now?"

"My thing is making sure you idiots don't kill yourselves looking out for your friend. Is that okay with you, Black? And where's your boyfriend?"

"That's okay by me. James is still sleeping. He stayed up all night to make sure I was okay."

"How romantic," Lily commented as she popped a grape in her mouth. Sirius looked down and fiddled with his feet. "What? Is there something else you want to tell me?" she asked, wondering why the boy was still standing there.

"Thank you for taking care of me. I know you would have wanted us to see Pomfrey, but if she found out about us—"

"I know. I've got your back." Lily smiled and then added, "Just try not to get hurt so much all the damn time."

"It's only our second time out with Remus," Sirius argued, "I think we're doing pretty well considering the circumstances."

"How did you get the, uh…?" Lily gestured to his cranial region. "Obviously it wasn't those 'very sharp' Quidditch poles."

"Remus rammed me when I wasn't paying attention and my head got slammed into the Weeping Willow," he explained, scratching the back of his head.

Lily looked at him with widened eyes. "You weren't paying attention to the one person you're supposed to be paying attention too? Brilliant."

"It's harder than it looks, Evans! I'd like to see you turn into an Animagi and keep a werewolf company."

Lily pursed her lips. "Maybe I will."

"Please don't. You'd probably be some nagging parrot that just follows us around and screeches whenever we do something wrong."

"Merlin, can you not hate me for one second? I won't become an Animagi. I'll just keep your secret and take care of your boo-boos just to have you insult me the next day."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you say that a lot." Lily crossed her arms and pouted.

"I'm treating you the way you treat my friend. Don't you think that's fair?" Sirius countered.

"First and second year, even third year, your friend followed me around, nagging and hassling me trying to have me go out with him. Should I do that to you? Then maybe you can have a legitimate reason to be rude to me."

Sirius winced as memories of the many attempts of James courting Lily came to mind and he took a seat next to her at the table. "Alright, I admit James can be a little over the top at times."

"A little?" Lily asked wryly.

"A lot," he admitted with shrugged shoulders. "But he means well."

"Does he though?" Lily asked thoughtfully, "He's wanted me since we were in first year. Three years have passed and now he's probably built this fantastical version of me that's perfect and not me at all. Not like how others see me. How you see me… as a… parrot."

"With red feathers and green tipped wings. Red for your hair and green for your eyes, of course."

"Yeah, I got that. I don't want him to be disappointed if he wins the game and finds out the prize isn't as great as he imagined."

Sirius reflected on her words for a moment before answering, "I can see how you would think that. Sometimes I wonder why James is so obsessed with you. Then there's moments like last night when you dropped everything and stayed up all night to make sure we were okay and then proceeded to help me when I had fucking brain damage."

"Oo, I really wanna make a joke about your brain damage, but you're actually being nice for once." Lily griped with her fictional dilemma.

"Don't worry, give it a day."

Lily exhaled. "Thank you for saying that. The other thing."

"It's the truth. I'm not James and I don't know what would happen if you two were to finally date. I don't know if you two would get along. I don't know if it'll be awkward or strange. You both wouldn't have anything in common or have anything to talk about or—"

"Alright I get it." Lily stopped him.

"What I'm trying to say is that you don't know what'll happen when it does happen so you might as well let it happen."

"What I'm trying to say is that I don't want to play his game and I'm not going to let him win. Plus, you wouldn't be much of a friend of Potter's if you didn't play his wingman."

"Who says I'm a wingman?" Sirius bantered, his gray eyes twinkling. "You're the red parrot with the green tipped wings."

"Oh, shut up, Black."

"Never, Red."

"Red," Lily said nodding her head thoughtfully. "How creative. You get Padfoot, Potter gets Prongs. There's Wormtail and Moony…and I get Red."

"How about Beak then?" Sirius offered, "Feathers? Squawk?"

"No, no." Lily recanted. "Red's good. Red's perfect."

Sirius gave a firm nod, "Then it's settled. Red: our woman on the inside."

Lily smiled at Sirius's new nickname for her. It wasn't the first time she had been called that, but it was an old nickname with a new context and a new beginning. And a new beginning meant a new entry in the ever-present journal.

Prongs (Get it? Cause deer? I crack myself up sometimes) Journal,

I think I'm friends with Sirius now. Which is something I never thought I would write.

He's actually not that bad. He's a little rough around the edges, but he's soft and sweet on the inside. Like a good treacle tart. Oo, I'm really craving some today.

Anyway, back to the Marauders.

I've learned quite a lot about them this past year. Things I never dreamed I'd find out. But I've learned that the bond between the four of them is quite strong.

They are more than friends; they are brothers.

It would be nice to have friends like them on my side.

It's just been pretty lonely this past year with Sev having other friends. It's not easy for me to make new friends. Maybe it'll be different with the Marauders.

I almost forgot why I'm writing to you!

I have to make some edits to my "Reasons Why I Hate James Potter" list. Maybe I should change the name of the list… nah…

Reasons Why I Hate James Potter (and —can't— won't call him my boyfriend)

1, He always runs his hands through his hair (it's just annoying, okay?)

2. He is soooooo ugly (kinda)

3. He is mean to Severus and a childish bully (okay, see! I do have a legitimate reason!)

4. And for the big whammy… It's just a game to him.

I used to have five reasons… but I guess I have to take the last one out— his friends aren't that bad.

Plus, who am I to judge a person by their friends? I mean, Sirius, Peter, and Remus could be great people and James could still be a troll monster so there's that. Not that I think he's a troll monster. Well… maybe.

This has been a crazy adventure, so thanks for hanging in there with me. See you for the next one!

Love,

Red

Sharing a secret that bonded them for life, the Marauders became a brotherhood. When Lily joined, they became her boys and she couldn't deny that together, they were something quite special.

Author's Note: Hopefully you liked the developing friendship of Black and Red! I feel like Sirius and Lily would have had a great friendship and I look forward to exploring that further. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this chapter!