Happy New Year! Sorry it's been a few weeks, the holidays were a busy time.
Again Thank you all for all your support. Views, Reviews! You are all the best! Can you believe it's been about a year that I have been posting this story that I started writing just for fun in the first lock down of 2020... When I had no intention on sharing it? I am glad I did. You all brought it to life!
Lexie closed the front door behind her, quietly locking it. Before hanging up her coat and purse on the rack by the door. She carefully moved around the squeaky floor boards. Trying to be quiet to not wake any tired doctors in the house.
She was just about to pass the living room when the glowing light of the TV caught her eyes. She poked her head into the room. Expecting to see Alex or Jackson watching some kind of late night TV. Maybe with a girl. What she was not expecting was to find Meredith curled up on the couch, the blanket her father had brought her to the hospital draped over her. Her hands tucked under her cheek.
Lexie entered all the way into the living room and glanced at the TV that was muted to see one of Elli's surgeries playing. She grabbed the remote and turned off the VHS player. Leaving the TV screen on, giving off the illuminating blue screen.
She crouched in front of the couch and carefully ran her hand over Meredith's forehead, before pushing some blonde hair out of the way. "Mer…" She whispered. "You should go up to your bed…"
Meredith's eyes opened quickly "Oh, you're home." She glanced at the clock on the VCR that had been playing her mother's tapes. "Lexie, it's two am?! Are you just getting home?"
Lexie nodded as placed her hand on Meredith's forearm to try and calm her slightly. "Yes.."
"Lexie." Meredith clicked her tongue against her teeth before sitting up with a little help from the younger sister while untangling herself from her blankets. "This is not what Callie meant by taking it easy the first week back!"
Lexie rolled her eyes "Meredith, I am fine."
"Were you at work this whole time?" She asked rubbing her face tiredly. They hadn't carpooled that morning because Meredith had an appointment after work.
"Were you waiting for me?" Lexie asked, turning the question around on her older sister.
"Yes." Meredith nodded "Though I did a crappy job at it, considering I fell asleep." She rubbed her forehead. "God, I hope one of my kids doesn't break curfew in the future. I am going to be terrible at busting them."
"A, I don't have a curfew" Lexie reminded Meredith "And B, you'll have Derek and probably me around to help you keep our eyes on them" She smiled "You're stuck with me for life."
"I am the older sister." Meredith stated while Lexie's brows knitted together in confusion…
"That's not new information, Meredith."
Meredith grinned "I could set a curfew for you. I am older and it's my house…my rules…I could use that sentence… As long as you live under my roof you will follow my rules…."
Lexie shrugged "You could, and then I could roll my eyes. Stomp around and slam doors…"
Meredith let out a little laugh "You already do, do that."
"Touché" Lexie smiled.
"But seriously, Lex." Meredith's smile fading as she grew serious. "Did you work this late? Callie wants you on light work. Pulling twenty hour day isn't exactly what she had in mind."
Lexie righted herself from kneeling in front of the couch and slid next to her sister tucking some of the blanket around her. "I wasn't working this late." She promised.
Meredith let out a sigh of relief "Good, your body isn't ready for that…" She paused "Where were you? You okay?"
Lexie was quiet for a few minutes, her thumb rubbing a circle on the corner of the blanket. "Promise you won't get mad?"
"No," Meredith shook her head "I hate when people promise that, sometimes it's just impossible." She added "But I promise, to try and hear you out, and I promise you nothing you can do or say will ever make me not love you."
"That does sound fair." Lexie agreed.
"I tracked down Alan's father… and I went and saw him." Lexie spoke quietly.
It took Meredith a minute to connect the dots before her eyes got big. "You went and saw the father, of the man who beat the crap out of you, and killed our father and sister?" Her eyes were huge. "Alone?" Her eyebrows knit together in confusion "And I thought he was in prison? For being falsely accused of murdering his wife…while the older son who actually did it, is a free man?"
"When you put it that way, it does sound kind of stupid." Lexie shifted on the couch slightly as she brought in her bottom lip and bit down.
"Kind of?" Meredith's tone is growing louder.
Lexie brought her finger to her lips shushing her sister slightly "Don't wake the entire house."
"So is he not in prison anymore?"
Lexie shook her head. "No, he's free. He lives in Ferndale, Washington."
"That's over a two hour drive…. you went two hours away, to meet a man who has not one but two psychopath children all on your own, and you didn't think to tell anyone?" Meredith asked "Have you recently hit your head? Lost all your common sense?"
"I thought you were going to hear me out?" Lexie mumbled.
"I said try…" Meredith corrected "Before you told me you did something completely reckless."
"At least you didn't say stupid." Lexie sighed, "Meredith, it's not that big of a deal."
"Because you are anything but stupid…I don't know what you were wanting to accomplish by talking to this man." Meredith sighed "Knowing you, closure for peace of mind. That..I can actually get behind." She nodded "But the fact that you drove two hours away, to meet someone you've never met, in a town you're not familiar with and didn't let a single person know where you were going is where I fall to. What the hell were you thinking?"
"Did I ever say that nobody knew where I was?" Lexie mumbled "Or that I was alone?"
"Who knew?" Meredith challenged "Would someone have been able to tell me, where to start looking if something happened? Because I don't like the idea that you could have just disappeared on me!"
"Meredith, Webber went with me. He's the one that helped me find him."
"What?" Meredith asked, confused.
"The night that Mrs. Standford died, Richard was around." She explained "He'd talked to Ellis after she lost Maureen. Tried to comfort her a little I suppose. Knowing she was upset that she lost a woman to what she thought was domestic abuse."
Meredith motioned with her hand for Lexie to keep going. "When Alan saw dad come in with you for the stiches, Richard happened to be passing through. He went down a back hall to try and stay out of dad's line of sight. Not wanting to cause any issues." Lexie explained "And he happened to walk down the hall and see the police arresting Mr. Stanford, and he realized he knew Bill Stanford. They'd gone to school together. He said he always found it strange and unsettling that Bill had been arrested for Maureen's murder. He said when he knew Bill he was the kindest soul ever. Never raised his voice. Went out of his way to rescue bugs…"
Meredith wrinkled her nose at the thought but allowed Lexie to keep talking. "When I ended up in the hospital, and Richard got the full story he realized all those years ago he'd been right. Bill Stanford had not been capable of murdering his wife, and with Alan dying outside of the hospital. Bill and Richard's paths crossed…All of this was happening behind the scenes I suppose." She added "You were all so focused on me, nobody seemed to notice that Dr. Webber wasn't around a whole lot after dad and Molly died."
Meredith frowned as she stopped to think about it. "Before they had known who assaulted Lexie, she had seen Richard in her sister's room at the times Arizona scheduled him, but after she couldn't recall seeing him.
"Webber was able to talk to Bill for a few moments, after Alan died to ask if he'd be willing to have coffee with him."
Meredith frowned "Why?"
"Check in with him for starters" Lexie explained "Bill had served twenty years in prison for Maureen's death...Plus his son had just died and killed two people. That takes a toll on someone's mental psyche" Lexie explained "And the most important reason for us…You and me…Webber wanted to make sure the older brother wasn't going to randomly show up…and finish what Alan started."
Meredith hadn't even thought about the older brother showing. That was a new worry she hadn't been wanting.
"He's dead" Lexie supplied as if she read Meredith's mind. "Older brother died of an overdose."
Meredith let out a sigh followed by a yawn. "Why didn't you tell me you wanted to talk to him?"
Lexie sighed "It's hard to explain, I wanted to see him for myself. I wanted…" She paused as she thought carefully "get closure, prove to myself that I could face things. That Alan didn't break me. That I can face some hard things on my own…You can't always be with me."
"No" Meredith exhaled "I know I can't, but I would have gone with you… and sat in the car…"
Lexie placed her hand on Meredith's knee. "I didn't know I was going to go, until I went, I am sorry I didn't tell you…and I really should have told you I was going to be this late."
Meredith studied her sister for a moment. "Did you get it?"
Lexie raised her eyebrow in confusion.
"The closure?" Meredith asked
Lexie shrugged "I think I gave Bill more closure, honestly. Once he realized I don't blame him for what his son did to me, to dad and Molly."
Meredith shook her head as she fell back against the couch. "Poor guy, two crazy kids, lost his wife. Years in prison…and he was innocent."
Lexie nodded "He's living a very quiet life on a farm in Ferndale. With his sister and her family. He was so sorry about what happened to me…" She sighed "Meredith, I can't carry the hate around. I am too tired."
"You don't have to." Meredith assured her. "I am not ready to forgive Alan for what he did to you…Or what he took from Laura…For Dad and Molly…But I support you getting the closure that you need. You're a lot stronger than you think you are. I admire you."
Lexie pushed her fingers through her hair before resting her head on Meredith's shoulder "I was hoping it would help me feel more like myself..."
"Trauma takes time to heal, Lex." Meredith reminded "You're on the right path to healing...It's just not going to happen all at once, and that is one hundred percent okay." She assured her. "You'll get there, and you're not doing it alone. You have this whole village standing with you."
After a few seconds of silence Meredith craned her neck to see her sister had fallen asleep head on her shoulder.
She shook her head but kicked her legs up on the coffee table and hit play on the VCR and went back to watching her mother's surgery video.
Meredith was exhausted and not in a good mood. Her sister pulling an almost all nighter the night before had wreaked havoc on her sleep. Now she was paying the price.
Coffee and bagel in hand she stepped out on the front porch shutting the door behind her. April and Lexie were in the kitchen bickering over who was getting the last bagel and who was going to have to have a granola bar and a coffee to tide them over until a vending machine stop could be made. Though Meredith was feeling vindicated this time, April was the one who had forgotten it was her turn to shop.
She was going to let Lexie and April battle this one out, while she went and started the car to warm it up and a few minutes of silence for herself.
Derek and Alex had gone in earlier leaving Meredith to carpool the remaining house members. She knew Jackson would be out shortly.
She stepped out onto the back steps and was greeted by a cool rush of air. Chilling her instantly. The warm car would feel nice. The other three were lucky they'd be getting into a warm car and not having the in between while it heats up.
"Merry Berry…."
Meredith jumped almost spilling her coffee as she whirled around to find Tami sitting at the bottom of the steps.
"Damn it, you're like a bad virus I can't get rid of." Meredith snapped. "What are you doing here?"
"Lex…"
Meredith held up her hand "Scratch that, I don't care why you are here. You are not welcome at my house. You need to leave."
"Merry-Berry Lexie Lou who asked me to stop this morning before work." Tami defended quietly.
Meredith scoffed "I am sure she did." She narrowed her eyes at Tami. "I know what you did…I know about those pictures…and you're lucky I don't want to waste my coffee or I'd throw it in your face for what you did to her."
Tami cleared her throat as her face turned red. "It was a long time ago, I never meant to hurt her."
"You never meant to hurt her?" Meredith narrowed her eyes. "Yet, you tried to convince her she was mentally emotionally unstable…." She pointed her finger in Tami's direction. "You were hoping her young age would cause her to forget it happened, but when you realized she would never forget…You tried to paint a picture she was in emotional distress, that way if she ever mentioned what happened to my father or Susan they'd think she was crazy." She paused, "Which, I don't think they ever would have bought." She added pointing her own finger back at Tami. "You just got lucky Lexie didn't say anything…Until she told me twenty some years later..." Meredith stepped forward "Now, I know…and I will never let you play mental games with my sister again." She hissed "And I will never forgive you for the dangerous position you put baby Lexie in."
Tami took a step back but stood taller. "I stopped it from getting worse, Meredith. I stabbed the man." She snapped, "I went back to that apartment… and I stole the camera…Those pictures never got out." She scoffed, "You don't even realize the danger I put myself in for doing that."
"So you want me to give you an award for being stupid and reckless?" Meredith asked "For being selfish?!"
"Yes, Meredith judge me from your high pedestal" Tami's voice rising a whole decibel her cheeks flushed. "Your mother may not have been a nice person. Your father may have left…But you never suffered like I did." She pointed her finger at her eldest niece. "You never wondered where you'd sleep, or where your next meal would be! You never ran in front of your baby brother to take the blows, or have your mother squeeze your throat so tightly you pass out. Or you actually prayed for death." She yelled.
Tami took a step back and pointed at the house behind Meredith. "Do you realize the hell I went through, to protect your father. To put him in a place where he could buy you a house. So you would always have a home?" She demanded. "Do you realize that your father made Ellis promise never to sell this home? No matter what happened to them. So you would always have a safe place?" She asked. "He was able to do that, because of me! Because I kept him alive, and it came with a cost."
Tears were now rolling down Tami's cheeks. Her face flushed. Her breathing ragged. "Protecting him broke me, and I did terrible horrible things. I got involved with the wrong people. To feel loved, to be numb." She swallowed hard "And I have to live with myself, on what I allowed to happen to Lexie."
Meredith grew quiet. Her eyes still narrowed on Tami. "I am sorry you had a horrible childhood. Thank you for protecting my father." She said sincerely. "Because of you, he had me. Lexie and Molly….and Lexie is the best of him." She agreed. "It would have killed him to know what you allowed to happen to her."
"I know!" Tami yelled. "He was the only good I had in my life Meredith! I went back. I got the pictures. I held onto them..Until I heard He had died in a gunfight two days later. After that I destroyed them.. and I never went back that part of town again…"
"So I am supposed to be proud of you?" Meredith asked. "That you had a wake up call?"
"No," Tami sighed, her shoulders falling slightly. "No, of course you're not."
"You never even apologized to her." Meredith accused…"And I saw your face when you found out my father left you the house…Which would be her home…You were happy it was going to you and not her." She argued "You pointed out my father left me with a home, but you took my sisters?"
"Your sister has you.." Tami's voice was quiet. "Don't you realize your worth Meredith? You're her home! As long as she has you she'll always have a home…" She pointed to the door "And as long as you have her, you'll always have the most precious gift life has to offer."
"I am not always the most rational person" Meredith stated calmly as she studied Tami closely choosing her words carefully. "But you know what I am the most mad about in all of this?" She asked. "I am mad that I wasn't there that day with you two. That I wasn't able to protect her from you and that creep." Her voice dripped with disgust as her upper lip curled. "But I sure as hell can protect her now…And you can go to hell. Don't you ever step foot on my property again, or approach me or Lexie after today." She warned as April, Jackson and Lexie all spilled out the back door. "You're right though about the last thing you said."
The bickering between April and Lexie came to a halt as it became quiet.
"Aunt Tami." Lexie stated…"You're early…I thought we were going to meet at the hospital."
Meredith whirled around and glared at Lexie but said nothing.
"I didn't think it would be appropriate for me to come to your work, Lexie Lue.."
"Oh" Lexie glanced between Meredith and Tami.
"The car leaves in two minutes, Lexie." Meredith warned as she narrowed her eyes. "I will file a restraining order after today. I mean it. Go to hell." Her eyes went back to Lexie. "Two minutes." She repeated holding her fingers up at her sister.
Lexie watched as Meredith, April and Jackson headed quickly to the car. April slid into the back seat and shut the door behind her. Jackson had walked around to the other side of the car. He had the door open but hadn't gotten in. He stood positioned to run interference if needed. Meredith's back leaning on the passenger door. Her right leg crossed over the left. Her coffee was held between each hand. A scowl on her face. She wasn't even trying to hide her dislike for this situation as her eyes bore right through Tami.
After taking a deep breath Lexie reached into her pocket and pulled out her keys. She flipped through her keyring. Finding the key she had since childhood she pried it off and handed it to Tami. "My key to the house." She offered sincerely.
"Lex…"
Tami started but Lexie held up her hand silencing her. "What you allowed to happen that day wasn't right…how you handled everything from that moment on was cruel." She continued. "You loved my father, and I know much you sacrificed for him…So I am giving you this key…sell the house. It's not my home anymore. It's just a place where ghosts live for me now…" She took a deep breath. "I want you to sell the house. I want you to take the money and leave." She stood taller "And I want you to do one last thing for my dad. Take the money and get the help you need. Fix your life Tami."
Tami held the key in her hand as her eyes filled with tears. "I am sorry Lexie Lue Who. I hope you believe me. I say that I love you. I have always loved you… and I am sorry I hurt you."
Lexie cleared her throat "I forgive you, but I am doing that for me, not you. I can't carry around that hate. It'll destroy me…Like you let it destroy you. I really hope you do get help, and you enjoy the rest of your life…for my father." She cleared her throat "And know this, I never want to see you again."
Tami wiped her eyes as she nodded "You have my word."
Lexie looked past Tami "I have to go, or she'll leave me." she said quietly as she watched Meredith tap her foot impatiently.
Tami turned to look at Meredith for a moment. "She loves you kid, that fierce look in her eyes. I recognize it. It's what I had once long for Thatcher." the older woman smiled sadly at her younger niece. "I am going, but before I do, I want to offer one last little bit of advice. I see myself in Meredith…She may always seem strong, and unbreakable…But she isn't. She's got cracks." She cautioned "And you need to look out for her as fiercely as she looks out for you."
Lexie's eyes went to Meredith as she nodded "Always."
"Take care, Lexie Lue Who." Tami spoke softly "You girls look out for each other, make sure it's a two way street." She encouraged one last time. "You're stronger and better together.
"Lexie!" Meredith's voice was impatient.
Lexie gave Tami one last look before she hurried down the walkway to catch up with her sister.
Jackson slid into the car as Lexie approached the passenger door "We're sisters." She stated to her sister "By DNA we're sisters and we had no say in that."
Meredith raised her eyebrow "Yeah?"
"But we're friends, because we choose to be." The younger Grey added as she watched the muscle in Meredith's face relax before a small smile formed. "Damn it Lexie, must you make me emotional before work!" She playfully reprimanded before pulling her sister into a hug as she was careful to not spill coffee. "Tell anyone about this moment and I'll have you on my services today, cleaning every infected wound that comes in."
Lexie laughed before nodding "Love you too." She whispered before pulling away. "Can we please stop for breakfast on the way? I am starving and April dropped the last bagel into the dish soapy water in the sink…Now neither of us have breakfast..."
"Not uh, that's not what happened." April argued as Lexie and Meredith got in the car. "Lexie and big gorilla hands tried to swipe the bagel out of my hands, and I dropped it…"
"I don't have gorilla hands." Lexie argued, turning in her seat to glare at April. "I have the beautiful hands of a surgeon."
"Beautiful Gorilla surgeon hands" April scoffed as Jackson threw his head back against the headrest "I really need to start driving myself to work." He mumbled.
Meredith couldn't help but smile as she listened to April and Lexie continue to bicker over the lost bagel and gorilla hands. Sometimes their bickering drove her crazy, but today it was refreshing. It was the first time since she found Lexie in front of her locker running a fever several weeks before that things were starting to get back to a normal predictable routine. Which she wasn't complaining about. It was nice.
"If you two shut up, and be nice to each other...I'll get you breakfast." Meredith promised with a laugh as she caught Jackson sigh with relief in the rearview mirror as their argument came to an abrupt end.