Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series.
Reasons Why I Hate James Potter
1. He always runs his fingers through his hair
2. He is ugly inside and out
3. He is mean to Severus and a childish bully
A couple of months had passed and while she still missed the closeness of her friendship with Severus, she had found a bond with others in her year.
Doing nightly rounds with Remus began to feel less and less like a chore. Lily found herself eager to go on walks with the boy and discuss a new book the two of them had read or a song that was just released. She found his humor to be a delightful mix of sarcasm and nihilism that meshed in the best way possible. She also found herself sitting with Alice and Marlene for meals more often and found that they began to include her in their conversations as well. In the previous years, she would sit by them when she had nowhere else to go, like when Severus was busy with class, but now that his absence was a more daily occurrence, they could have more conversations and Lily realized she really enjoyed their company.
Alice was honestly the sweetest person she had ever met, always full of energy and life and bubblegum. Marlene came off as rough, but on the inside, she was the biggest softie, especially when it came to Alice. The two girls had a strong bond, one to rival that of James and Sirius, and Lily was touched when she realized that Alice and Marlene were open to her joining their duo.
Still, three was always a crowd...
Potions was one of her favorite classes and it was most likely due to Professor Slughorn favoring her over the other students. But whatever got her the O, right? Plus, Professor Slughorn had saved her on more than one occasion in the past by inviting her to the Slug Club so she wouldn't have to eat by herself for a day.
Today's assignment was to create the Ageing Potion and Lily was excited to give it a go. Slughorn announced that everyone pair up and get started, but Lily was seated at the front by herself. It was always James and Sirius as a pair. Remus and Peter. Alice and Marlene. It was normal that she did the classwork by herself, always impressing Slughorn with the fact that she could finish the potion that took two people to make in less time when she did it on her own.
But she couldn't help the over the shoulder glance at Severus, who sat on the Slytherin side of the class and had paired up with Mulciber. Severus immediately looked down at his potions textbook and Lily had a feeling that he was looking at her as well. Maybe she should just try and talk to him once more to figure everything out because this silent game they were playing was tiring her out.
Opening her textbook, Lily began planning out the ingredients for the potion and timing the process. Barely ten minutes had passed before the door burst open and three of the four Marauders burst in, apologizing profusely to Professor Slughorn who jovially waved them off and encouraged them to get started.
James and Sirius partnered up as usual, sliding into the empty seats right behind her, and Remus, who usually paired off with Peter, the missing one, looked around before finally settling on her.
"This seat taken?" Remus asked politely.
Lily shook her head, moving her satchel which usually occupied the empty seat. "All yours."
"Peter was feeling pretty sick today so we spent the morning in the infirmary with him," Remus explained.
"Hmm, I'm sorry to hear that."
"Pomfrey gave him some medicine and he was feeling better when we left. He fell asleep, so he'll probably be fine by dinner."
"I'm glad. Oo, it's time to add the bananas." Lily checked the instructions one extra time to make sure she was following the right step before dropping in her smashed puree of banana.
"What do you need me to do?" Remus asked, ready to be a helpful partner.
"I've already gathered the ingredients," Lily said, watching from her side-eye at James and Sirius pushing each other around playfully while they gathered up the leftover ingredients from the back. "We just need to have the Newt spleens chopped in strips diagonally and then the ingredients just need to be added in an orderly fashion once the colors change from blue to green."
Remus nodded firmly. "Sounds like a plan."
While they waited and stirred the cauldron counter-clockwise, the two of them chatted amicably.
"And then when I was in preschool, I really hated the sweater my mum got me for Christmas, but I didn't want to tell her, so when she tried to put it on me, it just kept shrinking and shrinking!" Lily told her story.
Remus laughed. "Something like that happened to me too. When I was—"
"Oi, Evans!"
Lily and Remus turned to find James and Sirius looking at them over the rim of their cauldron.
"What, Potter?" she asked.
"Is this potion supposed to be purple?" James stirred it, leaning in to give it a good sniff before wincing at the terrible smell.
"Ehm, no," Lily said, "But you two did start later and the ingredients probably dried out while they were sitting out back, so maybe it's just a reaction from that."
"Ah, okay, and is it supposed to smell like rotten eggs?" James stirred the cauldron with one hand and fidgeted with his golden snitch with the other.
"No, it's supposed to smell like bananas," Remus answered for her. "What are you two doing?"
Sirius smacked his hand to his head. "The bananas! I knew we forgot to add something!"
Lily's eye twitched. "Bananas were a key part of the potion and how could you forget that when the instructions were right there?"
"Whatever, we'll just add it now." Sirius tossed the fruit in and shrugged. "No big deal."
Remus and Lily exchanged weary glances before turning back to their own potions, adding the final ingredient and stirring in the opposite direction.
"I'm so glad they choose to partner up with each other," Remus muttered to her. "At least Peter listens."
Lily giggled. "I'm surprised they're actually passing this class."
"They have to if they want to be Aurors but trust me, it's not easy to force those two to look at their textbooks for even a second. They probably wouldn't even look if I told them the exam answers were written on it."
"Oi, what are you lot talking about?" James called out, watching them talk together, eyebrows scrunching together in a way that was almost too cute an expression for a fifteen year old boy. In his distraction, the snitch flew out of his hand and floated dangerously close to the cauldron.
"Your impeccable study habits," Remus said causing Lily to bite her lip to prevent from laughing.
"We get by," Sirius defended, grabbing the snitch from the pot before it melted with the potion. "And look, our potion turned out fine. It's a lovely violet color."
"It's supposed to be green, Pads," Remus said.
"Well, shit." Sirius let go of the snitch and James put it safely back in his pocket, giving his friend a grateful pat on the back.
"You were saying?" Lily teased.
"Oh, shut it, Red," Sirius grumbled.
"Even if it's a different color, I'm sure the potion is all the same," James reasoned, running a hand through his hair.
"I really, really doubt that." Lily popped open the empty vial and filled it with her and Remus's completed potion. "But I like the positive attitude."
Remus snorted at that and took the vial from Lily, walking over to Slughorn's desk to drop it off. They were the first in the class to finish. Slughorn was leaning back in his chair, arms crossed and eyes closed as he took his usual nap, so that meant that they were allowed to leave as soon as they turned in their vial. Severus finished just a few seconds after and walked to the front to drop off his and his partner's vial, the shade being the lovely green that was described in the book. He gave a tiny, discreet nod to Lily, who gave him a small smile in return, and he packed his things up and left the classroom.
Lily began packing her things as well, before she heard James say, "I bet this Ageing Potion will work just fine."
"Sure it will," she said sarcastically, gently putting her potions textbook into her satchel.
"You wanna bet on it?" James retorted. "I win and you go out with me, but if you win… I won't ask you out for a week."
"Only a week? You know it's not going to work, right?" Lily said, placing her bag on her shoulder. "And it's dangerous to test out a potion that we make in class before Slughorn tests it and even then, I really wouldn't want to take a potion made by anyone in this class." Except for Severus, she thought, but it wasn't like she was going to say that to the Marauders.
"Now, Evans, have a little faith in me and Prongsy," Sirius grinned, grabbing his friend by the shoulders and shaking him a little. "We stirred it in the right direction and added all the right ingredients: bananas, cloves, Newt hearts, cor—"
"It's Newt spleen!" Lily exclaimed, while Remus did a literal face palm with an audible groan.
"Eh, same difference." Sirius shrugged.
"It's really not, mate," Remus winced.
"You wanna take the bet or not?" James challenged, filling up the vial with his potion.
"I think this is the stupidest thing you have ever done and I have seen you do many, many stupid things." That included prancing around in the Forbidden Forest with a werewolf because at least that was for a noble cause.
"So you agree," James confirmed.
"Fine, if this Ageing Potion works then I will go on one date with you and if it doesn't, you can't ask me out for a week."
Remus let out a huff. "Pomfrey is going to kill you if this potion doesn't do it first."
James ignored that, lifting his vial to his mouth before—
"Hold on!" Sirius grabbed an extra vial from another desk and scooped up his own portion of the brew. "Now we can do it," he said.
"You sure, mate?" James asked.
Sirius responded by lifting his arm and crossing it with James. "Bottoms up."
They both took a sip at once and by now, the whole class, or whoever was left, had stopped working to watch what would happen.
At first, nothing really did happen. James and Sirius glanced at each other and the whole room was silent aside from Slughorn's loud snores.
Then, almost instantaneously, James and Sirius doubled over, clutching their stomachs in pain and groaning loudly. The effect was immediate and the two of them began to shrink, smaller and smaller, until Lily and Remus were face to face with a miniature James and Sirius.
The two of them now looked about six years old, with round chubby faces and adorably confused eyes too big for their faces.
"Wha…" James said, his voice so high-pitched and squeaky. "Why are you two so tall?" he asked, blinking owlishly at Remus and Lily. "And why do I sound…" James turned to his best friend and shrieked.
Sirius shrieked as well and the two of them backed away from each other, both of them tripping over their now oversized pant legs, and falling comically on the ground.
The sound of childish yelling woke the professor and he was startled to find his students circling two little children.
"Professor," Lily said, eyes widening in shock at both the Marauders predicament and the fact that they were caught. "We were just about to take them to the infirmary, it looked like something went wrong."
"I'm a… I look like a child! I'm a… what if I'm stuck like this forever!" Sirius wailed, hand rubbing at his face pitifully.
"Yes, it would be best if you took them away now," Slughorn agreed and he awkwardly patted Sirius on the head. "There, there, little one. I'm sure it will be fine."
Remus grabbed James by the hand and Lily grabbed Sirius. The two responsible and more mature ones, both physically and mentally, brought them out the doors and towards the halls of the infirmary.
Once the four of them were in the halls and away from the other students, Lily groaned. "I shouldn't have fallen for that. I shouldn't have let them take the potion."
"It wasn't your fault, Lily," James's pipsqueak voice chimed. "I goaded you into it."
"It's fine, Lily," Remus added. "Pomfrey is gonna fix them up and they'll be back to their normal fifteen year old selves in no time. I can't say much about their six year old brains, but I think it's always been like that."
"Oi!" The two six year olds exclaimed and Lily tried not to smile at their adorably grumpy expressions. They were drowning in a sea of their clothing, their pants slipping down, only being held up by one of their hands, and their robes trailed behind them like a large carpet with their sleeves coming down to the floor.
Then, like two dominos, Sirius took the first fall, tripping over his oversized pants once more, and James fell not a moment later.
Rolling her eyes for not thinking of it sooner, Lily cast a charm causing their shirts and pants to shrink to fit their newly trial sized bodies.
James and Sirius examined their new clothes before thanking Lily with their crooked, open mouthed smiles. Lily vaguely noticed that James had one of his front teeth missing. Cute.
Lily figured that the potion only caused their bodies to change in age, but their minds would remain the same. And that was how it was at first, but halfway to the infirmary, she and Remus began noticing some changes. James and Sirius giggled loudly as they played tag down the halls. James took his golden snitch out of his small pocket and released it so that he and Sirius could have something to chase and play with.
"I don't know if they're acting like six year olds or if they're just acting like themselves," Remus muttered.
To others, it may have sounded like a little joke, but Lily could sense the tense undertones and the way his hands fidgeted with worry. "Hey, you said don't worry," she said softly. "It's gonna be okay. We'll get them back."
Madame Pomfrey had seen many calamities in her career. She had seen injuries beyond description and potions gone so painfully wrong, she had wondered what language the recipe had been in. She wasn't really surprised by much this late into her career. However, she hadn't had to treat anyone below the age of eleven in a very long time and watching two little children come into the infirmary had certainly made her do a double-take.
"Let me guess, Potter and Black?" she said, pulling out the bed she always kept open for the Marauders since they visited so often.
"Pom-Pom!" the two kids said, before attempting to clamber on to the high bed.
Attempt being the key word because despite them trying to toss their leg over and claw at the top cover, they weren't tall enough nor had the strength to pull themselves onto the bed.
Remus sighed and grabbed each one by the belly and heaved them to the top where they started crawling around and got into a comfortable position.
"So what happened here?" the nurse asked, trying to hide her smile as she watched the little ones fight for more of the blanket, even though there was plenty blanket to cover all of them twice over.
"We were making an Ageing Potion and instead of making them grow older, it turned them into that," Lily explained, pointing to James, who had fallen into his childhood habit of sucking his thumb, and Sirius, who had begun picking his nose, a habit he had never really quit.
Madame Pomfrey ran a few tests and a couple of the regular scans, and asked questions to Remus and Lily about what the boys may have changed to the potion to create the mishap. The two prefects tried to answer to the best of their ability.
"Madame," Lily said, while the nurse was looking over the results of the tests, "Remus and I were worried that the two of them are acting like children when the true Ageing Potion just ages them physically. Is that something that we should take into account?"
Pomfrey considered the question for a moment before explaining, "Not necessarily."
At Lily's curious look, she continued, "The Ageing potion does age someone physically, but it matures them mentally as well. Oftentimes, it is less noticeable if someone ages ten or twenty years older. They may be better spoken or more grumpy, but when someone is aged backwards and becomes younger, their childhood behaviors begin to resurface and even their vocabulary can change. Children develop much faster in a very short amount of time so when all that is reversed, the change can be more significant than if they were to age older."
"Oh, okay, I think I understand." Lily nodded. "Thank you, Madame Pomfrey."
"It was a good observation, Ms. Evans." Madame Pomfrey smiled at the inquisitive student.
"Can we go now?" Sirius whined.
"Yeah," James agreed, turning his body so his legs hung over the edge of the bed, "We're boooored."
"Yes," the nurse said. "The two of you are good to go."
"Good to go?" Remus asked. "They're still like that!" He gestured wildly at their miniature bodies.
"Once the potion has run its course, they'll return to normal. Just let them sleep it off, Mr. Lupin," she kindly advised.
"That's great news." Lily beamed. "Thank you again, Madame Pomfrey, for everything."
"So we can go now?" Sirius asked excitedly, hopping off the bed.
"Yes, Mr. Black. I will contact both your parents and make them aware of the situation and assure them that you will be alright."
"No!"
The protest came from the mouths of both of the young children.
Both James and Sirius had wide-eyed, panicked looks and it made Lily want to hug them and let them know everything would be okay.
"It- I- You don't have to tell my- my parents," Sirius stuttered while he held his hands in front of him, wringing his fingers. "I- I don't want them to be mad."
"Mr. Black," Madame Pomfrey said softly, as she understood where Sirius was coming from. She knelt in front of him to get to his level. "I won't contact them if you don't want me to."
Sirius couldn't hold back a tiny shudder. "You- you promise?"
"Yes, sweetie," Madame Pomfrey said; Lily had never seen her speak so gently before. "I promise."
"You don't have to owl my parents either, Pom-pom," James said shyly. "I don't wanna bother them."
Pomfrey sniffed and Lily thought she saw a little mist in her eye. "Okay, Mr. Potter. If that's what you want."
Lily held her hand out for James and the boy grabbed it as he jumped off as well. "Alright, now the two of you thank Madame Pomfrey before we go."
Sirius and James echoed each other with a drawled out, "Thank you, Madame Pom-Pom."
The four of them could still hear the school healer's laughter as they left the infirmary.
"Now," Lily said, "Let's get you two napping and back to normal."
It was like a light had switched and all of a sudden, James and Sirius were back to their normal energetic selves, any sign of worry fading away in a second.
"I don't wanna nap!" James stomped his foot and crossed his arms. The pout on his chubby face made Lily wanna grab his cheeks and place kisses on the top of his head.
"What do you wanna do then?" Remus asked when the four of them had begun their trek back to the dormitories.
"Let's play outside!" Sirius shouted while James nodded his head in agreement.
Remus and Lily exchanged looks and an understanding passed between them. They wanted to keep them happy. After all, it was not often one could relive their childhood so literally. The young werewolf shrugged. "It couldn't hurt. Plus, Slughorn gave us a pass for the rest of the day and if we let them run around, it'll tire them out faster."
"That's the spirit, Moony!" James pulled Lily with him while he ran. "Let's goooo!"
Sirius jumped on Remus for a piggyback ride, giggling all the way. They must have been quite a sight as many students turned their heads to watch the gang of four sprinting out the doors of the castle and to the hills outside. Lily sat on the grass, cheering them on as they chased each other and played games with their wild imaginations. She laughed when they had a swordfight using the fallen branches of nearby trees and Remus pretended to be stabbed by the tiny duo. Eventually, Remus left the two of them rolling around in a mock wrestling match and took a seat next to Lily.
"You must be used to this," Lily joked. "This must be what it feels like looking after them all the time. At least now they're actually acting their age."
"They look after me too," Remus said fondly, as Sirius sat on top of James, cheering in victory as he won the match. "They take care of me more than I take care of them. I- I don't know where I would be without them."
"They're good people." Lily said, surprised at the words she had spoken. She would have never said that out-loud, especially to a fellow Marauder, when she was younger, but now, it was a known fact.
"It's nice to see them like this," Remus noted. "This past summer has been hard for the two of them. I know that they technically haven't forgotten about what's going on and I know their problems haven't disappeared, but when you're a kid, it's different. You're more innocent. Everything feels less…"
"Intense?" Lily supplied. "Terrible?"
"Yeah."
They sat in silence for a few minutes, simply enjoying each other's company while they watched the kids until both of them came running over, hugging Remus and tackling him to the ground.
"You kids ready for bed now?" Lily asked.
"No," James protested with a huge yawn, pushing himself off of Remus and stretching like a kitten.
"Okay," Lily chuckled. She stood up, brushing the stray pieces of grass of off her before holding her hand out for James to take. He eagerly accepted and the four of them walked back to the dormitories for the night after a quick dinner.
The two young boys found Peter sleeping in his bed and jumped on it gently to join him, while Remus went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and change into pajamas.
They curled up on either side of Peter and made sure to be quiet so as to not wake the sick boy.
Lily walked over to the side of Peter's bed with James and pulled the blanket up, tucking James into bed. Then, Lily sat herself on the edge of the bed and found herself brushing the long, unruly strands of hair away from his face. She took the glasses off of him and put it on the dresser by his bed.
"This was the best date ever, Evans," little James quietly whispered.
"It wasn't a date, you're a child," Lily whispered back.
"I won't be tomorrow. I'll be back to my big, handsome, grown-up self," James flirted and while Lily normally would have rolled her eyes, seeing James flirt as a six year old made her smile.
"And your big, handsome, grown-up self can't ask me out for a week. I still won the bet, remember?"
"I did age," James argued. "It was just backwards."
"You're cute." Lily pinched his cheeks playfully and James curled into Peter's side away from her. "I'm gonna miss you when you're back to being my height."
"I'm actually an inch taller than you now," James corrected.
"Half an inch," Lily rebutted.
"Three-quarters," he protested in return.
Just then, Peter let out a huge snore, before turning to his side to face her and James. James and Lily looked at each other before trying to smother their giggles.
"Good night, Potter," Lily said fondly. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Night, Evans flower," and just like a child worn out from a long day of playing in the sun, James was asleep before Lily had even stood up.
She was about to turn the light off and leave the boy's dormitory when a quiet voice came from the other side of the bed. "Red?"
"Yeah, Sirius?" Lily asked quietly before padding over to the other child. She sat on the edge of the bed where Sirius was curled up this time. "You okay?"
"Is Reggie gonna be my older brother now?" he asked timidly.
"You're gonna be back to your normal older brother self tomorrow, Sirius, don't worry."
"I'm not worried."
"I know, I know," Lily cajoled. "You're very brave."
"And handsome and smart and—"
"Don't push it, Black."
Sirius giggled and Lily tilted her head, smiling softly at the innocent image. "Go to bed now, Sirius."
"Okay, Red."
She watched him twist and turn, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in, before Remus came out of the bathroom and took in the sight of his three best friends curled up in the same bed.
"You better join them, Remus." Lily stood up from her seat on the bed and nodded her head at the open spot on Sirius's side.
The four of the Marauders would not have normally been able to fit on the same bed, but with two of them cut to half their size, it made squeezing in a lot easier. Remus didn't even protest as he was also worn out from the day; he opened the blanket on Sirius's side and crawled in, curling up beside his brothers.
Lily once again made her way to turn off the light when Sirius's voice whispered again, "I wasn't worried Reggie would be my older brother. He'd be a better one than me."
Remus shared a confused look with Lily and the girl bit her lower lip shaking her head. "Go to sleep, Black. I'll see you tomorrow."
The next morning, James and Sirius had woken with massive headaches and absolutely no recollection of the day before. Lily and Remus were more than happy to share the many embarrassing things that happened… and even make up things that didn't.
"I did not wear a diaper!" James protested and then his eyes widened. "Oh Merlin, did I wear a diaper?"
Lily and Remus just cackled evilly in response.
On the nights of full moons, Lily did her rounds alone. Remus always had an excuse ready for her the day before as to why he was not able to make it and Lily readily accepted it every time.
After completing the nightly rounds, she always ran to the Astronomy Tower to keep an eye on her boys during the full moon. It was easier now because she couldn't get caught, since technically she was supposed to be catching herself.
This night was supposed to be like no other, but there was something in the air.
Severus had been jumpy all day, more than usual, and when Lily tried to ask him what was wrong, he had just brushed her off.
He muttered something to himself and walked away and Lily just couldn't find the heart to go after him. Anyway, Lily had to put that aside as thoughts of the full moon and any potential injuries her boys may get filled her mind with worry.
On the way to the tower, Lily heard a sound coming from one of the empty classrooms. A small sniffle and shuddering breaths.
Assuring herself that it was only a short detour, Lily opened the door to the classroom a smidge and peeked inside.
She was surprised to find Regulus Black sitting on one of the tables, his back to her as he looked out the window into the night sky. Lily was relieved to find it was in the opposite direction of the Whomping Willow so the boy would not catch sight of his brother and friends doing anything illegal. He had his legs on a chair and his arms resting on his knees. Regulus curled his whole body into his hands and Lily could see the way his body shook with each silent sob that came out of him.
She cleared her throat to make herself known and at the sound, Regulus whirled around to face her, his eyes widening before he stood up in a protective stance. He clutched his wand in his hand and used the other to pull the sleeves of his robe down. "What are you doing here?" Regulus growled. Even in the darkness, the moonlight coming from the large windows was enough to unveil the bloodshot eyes and tear stained face that Regulus tried to hide from the rest of the world.
Lily raised her hands in a surrendering position. "I'm a prefect. I'm just doing my nightly rounds and I heard a sound coming from here," she spoke honestly. "I'm Lily."
"Lily Evans," Regulus said, dropping his wand and standing less defensively. "I know. Snape seems to like you even though you're a… you know."
"I do know, thanks," Lily said wryly. She did appreciate him not calling her those words despite how he was raised.
"Black, er, your brother speaks very highly of you," Lily said awkwardly.
Regulus raised an eyebrow and with a sarcastic smile said, "Does he now?"
He used the sleeve of his long robes to wipe at his face and he walked back to his table, taking a seat and resting his feet up on the chair once more.
"Are- are you alright?" Lily asked hesitantly, still standing near the entrance.
"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"
"You don't look fine," Lily said as gently as she could.
"I'm fine." Regulus stared out the window, looking at everything and nothing. "I'm okay. I—"
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Why would I want to talk with you?" Regulus sneered, he turned his head sharply to face her. "You're… you're nothing. You're below me… like a cockroach. You will never understand!"
Lily knew his words were coming from a place of hurt, but that did not mean she was going to stand there and take it. She turned her body and made her way to the door when, "Wait."
She stopped in her steps.
"I didn't mean to say that," his voice came out timidly, "I'm sorry."
"I might not understand," Lily said, walking closer to the boy. "But I can always listen. It helps to talk."
Regulus had once again hidden his face in his arms. "I can't. I can't," he muttered. "I can't"
"Then can I sit with you?" Lily asked.
Regulus paused for a moment and his whole body stilled. "Why?" he asked, his voice muffled in his sleeves.
"Company is good for the soul. You don't have to talk," Lily promised. "I can just sit with you."
Regulus gave a small nod and Lily took that as permission to sit on the table next to him, her feet dangling by the floor.
The two of them gazed out of the window, awestruck by the bright, full moon. Lily tried not to let her mind wander off to thoughts of her boys and if they were okay. They would be fine without her, Lily assured herself. If they truly got hurt, then they would see Madame Pomfrey and everything would be okay. Unless, they were stupid enough to brush off their injuries. Oh Merlin, they were stupid enough to brush off their—
"I think I've made a mistake."
Lily was startled to hear those words come out of the young boy's mouth as Regulus continued to stare straight ahead.
"Everyone makes mistakes," Lily said comfortingly, "but it's never too late to try and mend things. You're still young, Regulus."
"Not young enough apparently," Regulus whispered, rubbing painfully at his left sleeve.
"Is it your family?" Lily asked softly. "You don't have to tell me, but maybe you can talk to your brother? If anyone would understand, it would be Sirius."
"I can't," Regulus said. He wiped at his eyes and sniffled. "He wouldn't understand. He already hates me and he didn't even come home this summer. I haven't even talked to him once this year and he's already replaced me and- and he wouldn't understand."
Lily was quiet, allowing the boy to vent and release his pent up emotions.
Once Regulus had gone completely silent aside from the occasional sniffles, Lily said, "I don't have the best relationship with my sibling either. She always insults me and avoids me and," Lily laughed bitterly, "she tells me that she hates me. But I know that if something were to happen, she would have my back. Because despite everything, we're family."
"Sirius left his family." Regulus scowled bitterly. "He has a new one now."
"And yet," Lily said softly, "he still cares for you. He still wants to make sure you're okay and he even asked me to ask Severus to keep an eye on you."
"He…" Regulus blinked owlishly, turning his head to finally face Lily. "He did?"
She nodded. "You're his little brother and you mean a lot more to him than you think. I know he probably doesn't it show it, but he cares for you. If you're in trouble, just talk to him."
The young Slytherin slowly nodded, processing all of her words. "Thank you…"
"Lily. You can call me Lily."
"Thank you, Lily."
"Not bad advice for a lowly cockroach, huh?" she asked jokingly.
Regulus blushed and rubbed the back of his neck in a way that reminded Lily of Sirius. "I'm sorry I called you that."
"Trust me, I've been called worse things by people in this school," Lily said darkly.
"I don't… I don't believe in those things," Regulus said, almost like a whisper, as if he was embarrassed to admit it. "I don't think it matters what your blood status is or… or anything. It just doesn't make sense."
"Yeah?" Lily asked, a small smile on her face.
"Yeah," Regulus said, a bit more encouraged now, the words he had kept hidden inside of him finally coming out. "There are plenty of powerful witches and wizards who are half-bloods and- and- even…" Regulus nodded at her. "You know."
"Muggleborn?"
"Right. And there are purebloods who are downright stupid. Trust me, I'm in a dorm with a bunch of them."
Lily giggled at that and Regulus looked startled at the sound, the tips of his ears turning a rosy pink and a hint of a smile playing at the edge of his lips. "I've never said those things out-loud," Regulus admitted. "I'm pretty sure I'd be ostracized if they ever heard me say it."
"You're perfectly normal and decent thoughts about the human condition are safe with me, Regulus. I promise I won't say anything to anyone about how you believe that wizards and witches shouldn't be discriminated based on blood status because that is just such an embarrassing belief to have."
This time, Regulus really did laugh and even though it was a low chuckle, it still made Lily proud to have cheered up the once downtrodden boy.
The sun had had started to rise slowly in the sky and Lily leaned to the side a little and nudged him with her shoulder, getting him to look at the soft beams on the horizon. "Your secret's safe with me, Regulus."
The next morning, Lily spotted Regulus at breakfast, sitting with the other Slytherins. He made eye contact with her, but quickly dropped his gaze back to his meal. Lily did the same thing and took a seat at the Gryffindor table beside Alice and Marlene. She understood why Regulus didn't acknowledge her. She was a muggleborn and Regulus had to maintain the façade that he was above people like her, something he had been raised since he was child to believe.
Her late night chat with Regulus had opened her eyes to many things. The greatest was the hidden strength of Regulus Black.
She always knew Sirius was brave for getting into Gryffindor house and challenging his family's terrible ideologies, but he had his three friends to back him up and support him. Regulus didn't have anyone like that and yet, he still came to the same conclusions. Regulus was less than free to express those beliefs, especially with such hateful parents and "friends", but the kid was so honest with her, even though they had only talked for a little time. He was so desperate for a human connection and someone to talk to and Lily was the perfect outlet.
Admitting that he believed that blood status wasn't important was a big deal: both to her and to Regulus.
It was supposed to be obvious and unquestionable. Of course it didn't matter if she was muggleborn. But the way she and others like her were treated for something like blood status made her question everything. Hearing Regulus, a teen who had grown up in an environment that vehemently looked down on people like her, but had still come out on the other side with a kind heart and a strong mind capable of forming his own logical and reasonable conclusions about blood status, made her have hope for the future and see an end to the Wizarding War that loomed over their heads.
It was not until later that night, Lily realized that those words that Regulus had told her were something that her dear childhood friend had never once told her.
Severus Snape was kind to her despite her being muggleborn. Severus Snape loved her despite her being muggleborn.
To him, her blood status was an annoying hindrance he could not avoid and simply had to deal with or ignore.
She realized that this was where Regulus Black and Severus Snape were different. They were both gray, Lily believed, but Regulus was gray for the right reasons.
A spring of doubt began to leak into Lily's mind. She wondered what Severus's intentions were. She wondered why he was hiding behind his Death Eater friends. Severus had called people 'mudblood' before and she had heard him.
He had only apologized when she called him out on it and he insisted he would never call her that. Why? Because she was Lily Evans and he loved her despite the fact that she too was a mudblood.
Lily didn't want to be an exception to Severus's prejudice. She didn't want to be loved despite anything. She wanted to be loved fully. She wanted—
"Oi, Lils," a voice interrupted her musings. "Have you been listening at all?"
Shaken out of her reverie, Lily turned towards Alice. "Sorry, Ally, what was that?"
"Marley and I think there's something going on with the Marauders."
Lily's spoon clattered on the table. "What? Are they okay? What happened? Are they hurt?"
She had spent the full moon with Regulus and had completely forgotten about the Marauders. The guilt began rising from the pit of her stomach.
Marlene looked at her strangely. "Ehm, no. But James and Peter had come in for breakfast and were eating and then Sirius walked in a few minutes later and James and Peter glared at him—"
"It was scary, I think I even saw James growl," Alice added.
"Anyway," Marlene continued, "James said a couple of things to Sirius and then Sirius looked sad and sat by himself and then—"
"Sirius never sits by himself!" Alice exclaimed and Lily's mind began to spin as the two of them continued to add to the events.
Alice took off from where Marlene had finished, "And then we saw Remus come into the dining hall and he glared at all three of them and then grabbed a piece of toast and left and then James and Peter got up and ran after them, but Sirius didn't join them!"
Marlene took a bite of her eggs and said thoughtfully, "It was so bizarre to see them like that. So… hostile. And Sirius was at the center of it, I'm sure. I wonder what happened."
Lily scanned the hall to find Sirius, true to Alice and Marlene's words, sitting all by himself, glaring angrily at his breakfast. But before Lily could come up with the nerve to get up and ask him what was wrong, Sirius shoved his plate away angrily and stood abruptly from his seat to leave the crowded hall.
She saw Regulus also get up and walk over to his brother, most likely taking Lily up on her advice to confide in his older brother, but it was definitely the wrong time to do so because Sirius had snarled right at his face. It must have been hurtful words because Lily couldn't bear to see the crestfallen look on the younger brother's face.
Sirius had then proceeded to heatedly push Regulus against the wall and out of his way before officially leaving the room.
Regulus stood there alone for a few seconds, shock and heartbreak visible, before shaking his head and restoring his normal blank, unemotional, safe expression. He left the hall as well, going in the opposite direction of his brother.
Something had happened during that full moon, Lily realized. Something big.
Usually, the full moon brought the Marauders closer to each other, strengthening their bond, but something went wrong this time.
And she was determined to find out what.
Lily first asked James what was wrong. He smiled dashingly at her and said, "Nothing could be wrong when I'm talking to you, Evans."
Then, she confronted Sirius first, who had angrily shrugged her off and told her to ask Remus.
She decided to ignore it after that, but when a few days passed and the hostility only grew between James, Remus, and Sirius, Lily decided that enough was enough and it was finally time to get to the bottom of the issue.
During their nightly rounds, Lily posed the question to Remus as to why the Marauders were fighting.
At first, Remus was hesitant. "Nothing is wrong," he denied.
"You're all angry with each other. Everyone around you can tell. What's going on?"
They continued their rounds amidst Lily's persistent prodding until Remus exploded, "Why do you care so much?"
Lily hesitated and wondered the same thing. "Well… because…"
Remus rolled his eyes and continued the patrol.
"Look, Remus," Lily admitted, "The friendship you have between the four of you is special and now, you are all angry and alone and I know how that feels and I don't want you lot to feel like that. Whatever went wrong between you all, I'm sure you or they can fix it and you can become friends again."
Sighing, Remus turned to Lily. "Have you spoken with Snape today or the past few days?"
Lily scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. "No, I don't think he's been in classes today or yesterday or... Why? What does he have to do with it?"
"Sirius pulled a terrible prank on him a few nights ago." Remus scoffed, "It wasn't even a prank. It was a death sentence."
"That… night?" Lily asked, horror creeping in. A night during the full moon, Sirius had done something to put Severus in danger.
"And the only reason that Snape is alive is because James had the common sense to save him. I can't imagine what would have happened if…" Remus cut himself off, realizing he had admitted too much already to the red-haired girl.
Lily tried to calm the panic that was building up in her. She speculated about how exactly Sirius could have placed Severus in danger and began to understand why they were all angry with each other. She imagined James in his stag form, pulling Severus, the boy he hated most, to safety. She imagined the guilt Remus must have felt waking up the next morning having almost hurt a human.
"So that's why you and Black are fighting?" she asked in a surprisingly calm voice.
"He specifically told Snape to go to the tree that night. He knew he would be putting him in danger."
Ah, Lily realized. It wasn't as if Sirius dragged the Slytherin boy to the werewolf. Severus had chosen to go and Lily told Remus just that. "He didn't force Severus to go."
"He—" Remus looked at Lily, eyebrows raising in surprise. "Are you taking Sirius's side?"
"Severus had a choice and he chose to go down to the Whomping Willow. Sirius didn't make him."
"He goaded him into it," Remus argued weakly.
"Severus is old enough to know better. He's not a child."
"He couldn't have known the dangers of being around m… the Willow."
Lily hummed noncommittally. "He has his theories. He was stupid to want to test them."
Remus's skin turned ashen. "And you?"
"What about me?" Lily asked.
"I- I never said it was the Whomping Willow, but you knew… Do you have theories too?"
Lily bit her lower lip. She didn't want him to be angry with her. "About what?"
"Me." Remus looked terrified. He had stopped walking and had clutched the prefect folder tightly in his hands, wrinkling all the papers together.
She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and squeezed comfortingly. "Remus, I've known for a little while now."
Lily didn't think it was possible for Remus to turn any paler. "I—"
"I know you're ill, Remus," she said soothingly, dropping her hand from his shoulder until it rested on his triceps. "It's not something you can help and it's not a diagnosis that you have to share with anyone you're not comfortable with. I understand your frustration with Sirius, for almost exposing your condition, but I know for certain he was not doing it to hurt you—"
"I know—"
"He would never hurt any of you," Lily said, beginning to rub comfortingly up and down the length of his arm. "You lot are his family and I don't think he would do anything to jeopardize that. He just has a bit of a big mouth and an even bigger temper."
Here she was defending Sirius Black. The world certainly worked in mysterious ways.
"I'm not ready to forgive him yet," Remus said, the soothing motions of Lily's hand calming him down.
"That's understandable," Lily said. She let go of his arm and gestured down the hall with a nod of her head. "We should keep walking, eh? I don't know about you, but I did not get a lot of sleep last night or the past week. I swear the whole castle's been on edge since the Marauders broke up."
Remus snorted at her little joke. The two of them continued walking through the castle, finishing up the last of their rounds. "Thank you, Lily."
"There's nothing to thank me for. It's what any decent person would do."
"How long have you known?" Remus asked.
Lily shrugged. "Third year? The four of you are not very quiet and come on… your nicknames?"
"No one else has figured it out," Remus protested weakly.
"I guess no one else pays attention to you lot like I do."
"If you know about my condition…" Remus swallowed nervously. "And now, Snape—"
"No! I mean, even after the Whomping Willow, I think Dumbledore has it under control," Lily quickly assured him. "Dumbledore won't let anything happen to you."
"Yeah, I suppose so. It's nice to talk to you about this. I haven't really talked to James and Peter much either. This whole week has been overwhelming."
"I'm always here for you," Lily said.
That's what friends were for and it was about time she began to surround herself with real ones.
Author's Note: So this was the fun chapter for the year as the next and final part for Year 5 is about to get pretty intense. Hope you enjoyed kid James and Sirius, as well as Regulus and Lily's first conversation! It was really fun to write!
Side note: If you enjoyed Sirius and Lily's friendship, as well as her friendship with Alice and Marlene, I posted a Jily one shot last week called "Curiosity Killed the Stag" which has James/Lily as well as those friendships as the focus! It also has Lily flirting with Sirius, lots of hilarious misunderstandings, and James being a total simp for Lily.
As always, please leave a review if you enjoyed the chapter!