AN: Thank yo for reading! I know it's been a few weeks.. Hopefully it won't be as long between the next update. I think I have one or two more chapters of this story... It's been a crazy ride... and you have all been the best most amazing readers.

Thank you for reading and putting up with the mistakes and all :)

3 months later

"Lexie, Hey Lex" Derek called as he spotted his sister in-law heading towards the locker room at the end of a long day.

Lexie slowed her pace and allowed Derek to catch up to her. "Hey." She greeted him with a smile.

"How are you feeling?" Derek asked.

Lexie offered him a smile. She was used to this by now. Derek asked her every morning, before every surgery she got to scrub in on with him, and at the end of the day. It had taken Lexie several weeks after the attack to get back to a normal stride. To gain back strength and stamina, Derek always seemed to be keeping a watchful protective big brotherly eye on her. She couldn't even be mad about it.

"Still good" She nodded "Just as I was this morning during surgery."

Derek blushed slightly at being caught and called out but didn't offer an apology. As he reached out and grabbed her hand long enough to drop Meredith's car keys into her hand.

She wrapped her fingers around them and gave Derek a confused look.

"Can you get Mer's car home?" He asked "I brought her home some time after lunch. She's sick."

"Oh, no" Lexie's eyes filled with concern before they grew wider "oooh no.." She repeated. "The award dinner tonight, that you two were going to! She was going to wear the jewelry Molly made her. She was excited."

Derek gave her a sad smile "And now she's home, with a fever, chills and a chest cracking kind of cough."

Lexie winced as she rattled the keys in her hand. "I didn't see her this morning, since I had my appointment." She paused as she recalled her last interaction with her sister. "She was kind of grouchy last night. She did bite my head off for finishing the strawberry ice cream…My strawberry ice cream…"

Derek didn't hold back the amused smile. His wife and her sister had really become sisters. They bickered about about silly things all the time now. They were comfortable enough with each other to just be. To pick. To have fun. To love. He loved his front row seat of watching them grow together.

"She may have been a tad tired…Understandable…" He agreed with a smile. Part of him wanted to add Lexie wasn't a ray of sunshine when sick either, and the two may be more alike then either would care to admit. However he thought better of it.

"Yeah, tired that's it.." Lexie repeated as she turned the keys over in her hands again. "Everyone has plans tonight, so no carpool." She said out loud mainly to herself. "You need to go to the award dinner Derek." She pointed out. "It's a big deal."

"I asked Mark to be my plus one." Derek admitted bashfully. "But Meredith really wanted me to go still too." He said quickly. He had wanted to stay with her. She refused. So his best course of action was standing in front of him. He gave Lexie a smile. "I was hoping you could at least check on her before you went and did whatever you had planned for the night."

"Of course." She tried to not sound offended. Meredith had looked out for and cared for her for weeks after everything that happened. There was no way she was just going to check on her sister. Her evening would now be hanging out with Meredith and making sure she had everything she needed. "My plans now consist of making my mother's homemade chicken soup, and hanging out with my sick grouchy big sister."

Derek smiled almost expecting that response with her. As he made a mental note that he'd most likely be sleeping in the attic or on the couch that evening. "Thank you Lexie."

"No need to thank me." Lexie shrugged as she dropped Meredith's keys in her pocket. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go find Arizona, and ask for a rain-check for our dinner."

Derek nodded, "Of course, see you tomorrow morning."

"Have fun tonight." Lexie offered "Sorry Meredith couldn't be with you."

"I am going to miss her tonight." He admitted "But I honestly think even with her being sick, she's still going to have a better night with you."

A year or so ago there was no way Lexie would ever believe that. A year or so ago. Meredith would have rather walked on broken glass than spend a night at home sick with her sister. Now… She'd at least tolerate it.

Meredith hit the pause button on her laptop. Blew her nose tossing the tissue into the wastebasket beside her before pushing the blankets off of her as she crawled off the bed and made her way to the door opening it, to find a stunned Lexie balancing a tray of soup, crackers and tea.

"Meredith." She gasped startled as she jumped a little. The tray clattering. Meredith watched it closely, almost expecting it to clatter to the ground. "You scared me!….and you're supposed to be in bed resting…."

Meredith rolled her eyes as she headed back to the bed leaving the door open for Lexie and her tray.

"Nobody can rest with you banging around in the kitchen, and clomping up the stairs…"

It was Lexie's turn to roll her eyes as she entered the room and placed the tray down on the bedside table. "and hello to you too...Miss Joyful"

Meredith pulled her blanket up to her chest. "Sorry." She responded as she eyed the tray. "That's not canned soup?" her tone was curious as she raised her eyebrow.

"I made mom's super simple, good delicious sick day soup." Lexie bit her lip as she became nervous all of a sudden. Maybe making her sister the soup she was always given as a kid by her mother wasn't the best plan. Was it rubbing it in Meredith's face that they had different childhoods? Another thing Meredith missed out on. She inwardly groaned as her stomach dropped. It was official. She was a terrible sister.

"I uh.." Lexie began to stammer her cheeks grew hot "I can go make you canned soup…Or get you anything…Derek said you had a fever and a cough…Are you queasy? I should have asked you if you even wanted to eat." She rambled quickly avoiding eye contact. "I am sorry, what can I get you?"

"Bring me the soup you made." Meredith encouraged as she eyed her sister for a moment before she started to cough, causing Lexie to wince at how painful it sounded.

"Ow." Meredith groaned, reaching for her water by her bed.

"Do we still have cold meds?" Lexie asked, still standing by the bed awkwardly biting her lip as she nervously picked at her fingernails. "I can run and go get some."

"I keep us stocked up." Meredith admitted, not telling her she really did it because of Lexie. She never wanted to be unprepared for something like what they went through just several weeks ago again. If she could avoid watching her sister suffer she would.

"Soup first, cough medicine next." Lexie stated quietly as she stood there nervously.

Meredith closed the laptop and moved it to the end of the bed, before swinging over to Derek's side of the bed to give her space to Lexie. Like she'd done every time before. Hoping that whatever was going through her sister's mind would be calmed by the gesture.

"Do you want me to call Cristina?" Lexie asked quietly as she placed the tray between as she tentatively took Meredith's spot. Why did she think she could be the one that could help Meredith? There is no way she was the best person for the job. "I should call Cristina…" She bit down on her lip.

"Lexie…." Meredith reached beside her and took one of the bowls of steaming soup.

Lexie paused in mid sentence as she turned to look at her sister spotting Meredith had ended up pairing the necklace Molly made her with her pajamas. "Your necklace…"

Meredith kept her eyes on her soup blowing stirring it. "Are you going to eat?"

"You're wearing the necklace" Lexie said quietly "I am sorry you're sick, I am sorry you don't get to go tonight with Derek…" She picked up her own bowl. "Are you sure you don't want me to call Cristina? You're sick…"

"Sick" Meredith repeated "Not dying, you're being weird. Stop it."

"Sorry" The Younger Grey responded.

"Quit apologizing, It's annoying and very much not needed." Meredith shook her head. Her head hurt, her chest hurt. Her throat was on fire…She was too tired for a filter.

Lexie spooned a mouthful of hot soup into her mouth to keep herself from apologizing for apologizing. Wincing immediately as the hot liquid scalded her tongue. "Too hot!" She sputtered. "Let it cool."

"Thank you, captain obvious." Meredith chuckled as she watched the steam rise from the bowl in front of her. She wished she could smell the soup better. It looked amazing. Nobody in her life had ever made her homemade soup. Let alone on a sick day. She hoped that she would be able to fully taste it.

"I know you wanted to go tonight." Lexie offered.

"Not really." Meredith answered truthfully. "I hate mingling, stuffy rooms, uncomfortable dresses.." Her lip curled up in disgust. "Truthfully I was just excited about wearing my jewelry from Molly…" She gave Lexie a sideways glance. "Is that weird?"

"I think it's sweet." Lexie answered with a small smile.

"Getting sick was not the worst thing to happen to me." Meredith smiled "Now I don't have to sit on a hard uncomfortable chair all night, and fake smile at people."

"You're not really good at fake smiling, anyways" Lexie teased as she began to relax a little. "Are you sure you don't want Cristina to come hang out?"

"I am sure, Cristina actually did offer…."

Lexie paused the spoon midway to her mouth. "Oh? You turned her down?"

"I am sick, not dying." She repeated, "She doesn't need to sit around breathing in my germs…Or risk getting sick, Especially since Altman has been giving her big surgeries."

"Oh." Was all Lexie could say. It was a valid point.

"And I knew you'd be home at some point" Meredith added "I remember you telling me you and Robbins were going to have dinner…However I didn't think it would be all night. I figured once you got home you'd come in and hang out with me for a little…After all I am Irresistible." She winked, "You can't stay away."

"Someone has a big head…" Lexie groaned.

"I figured we could continue to watch cheesy 90's sitcoms together…" Meredith smiled "I wanted to spend a little time with you tonight, and you live here you can't escape my germs…No matter how hard you try…" She teased.. "You didn't have to cancel dinner with Arizona. I was okay with catching you at the end of the night."

Lexie could feel her heart swell. Meredith had just said out loud that the person she wanted to spend time with that night….Was her…She pushed back some tears. "I didn't cancel with Arizona…" Lexie offered. "She actually asked me for a rain check first…and it's your fault." She added with a smirk.

"My fault?" Meredith asked confused as she finally put a small bite of soup into her mouth. The flavors burst and danced on her tongue, warming the back of her throat as she swallowed. Never had she ever tasted a soup that good before. Especially while she was sick.

"You got sick." Lexie explained "And Derek asked Mark to be his Plus one…and he was already Callie's plus one to this event, since Arizona and I were going to avoid it all together." She smiled "But with you getting sick, nobody wanted it to be a weird third wheel thing. So they asked Arizona if she'd consider going, and she can't say no to Callie."

"Guess this worked out in my favor. No hard chairs, no mingling. Cheesy 90's comedies, my sister all to myself and home made soup… I won." Meredith admitted. "Minus the fever and cough.. That part sucks.."

The tension left Lexie's body as she heard her sister say again that she was the person she wanted right in that moment. "You may regret it after I make you take your cough medicine."

Meredith laughed, "I am sure it's a little payback, for me making you take yours, but I won't complain as much as you did my little dramatic queen..."

"Rude." Lexie rolled her eyes as Meredith playfully elbowed her. "You know I am kidding."

"Yeah, yeah. Eat your soup." She rolled her eyes but smiled.

"Gladly, because as crappy as I feel….This soup is amazing." Meredith replied honestly with a smile as she watched her sister beam proudly.

"Lex?" Meredith's voice tired and raspy from coughing.

She was stretched out on the bed. Laptop in front of them Growing Pains playing. Her head on a pillow. Her sister sat propped up beside her; dressed for their sick evening pajama party while she absent-mindedly ran her fingers through Meredith's golden locks. Just as her mother had done for her when she was home sick.

"Hmm?" Lexie's eyes on the screen… "You know as a kid, I always felt connected to Carol."

Meredith's eyes went to the screen as she watched the middle daughter look up from a book she was studying to deliver a perfectly timed funny insult to the older brother before going back to her books. Meredith chuckled to herself. "Yeah, I could see that….Both of you are smart and beautiful…. Good at comedic zingers…" Her eyes fell back to the screen. "Think it would have been like that, if we grew up together?"

Lexie's fingers stilled in Meredith's hair as her eyes went back to the screen. The early Growing Pain years before they added the fourth kid…The way the three kids picked at each other constantly, got into trouble together, as well as always showed up for each other in time of need. She found herself smiling. "Probably…You and Molly would have teamed up on me…"

"Maybe" Meredith admitted…"Think we would have all gotten into trouble together?"

"I am certain of it." Lexie smiled thinking about it. "You being the leader, me being the nerd and Molly being the cute one…It spelled trouble."

"You're not a nerd, nor have you ever been" Meredith corrected "But you probably would have been the voice reason...Which we would have needed…"

Lexie couldn't argue that. Her heart ached sometimes when she thought about what could have been.. To now…Her and Meredith being the last two…

"Can I ask you something?" Meredith asked quietly, her eyes back on the screen.

"Always."

"In the letter Molly left me, she told me to' Ask you about secret cupcakes…." Meredith glanced up at Lexie. "I have been thinking about it all day. "What are secret cupcakes?"

Lexie froze for a moment before quickly leaning forward and closing the lid on the laptop, turning off their show.

"Hey" Meredith grumbled as she was jostled by Lexie's movement which led into another round of coughing.

Lexie handed her the mug with tea honey and lemon from the bedside table. That seemed to be the only thing soothing Meredith's cough.

"Well?" Meredith asked, pushing the mug into Lexie's hands to put it back where she got it.

Lexie let out a slow breath. "Thanks Molly" She mumbled mainly to herself. "They're not really a secret anymore…"

Meredith raised her eyebrow as she sat up completely, turning her body to face her sister as she hugged a pillow to her chest waiting for Lexie to go on.

"I figured them out awhile back." Lexie took a deep breath. "I don't know if this is going to hurt you, or make you feel something…maybe both…but I don't want to hurt you…"

Meredith placed her hand on Lexie's knee "Just tell me, obviously Molly thought I'd like to know."

Of course she did. Lexie thought to herself, and she left me to do the telling.

"When we were little girls. Every year on the same day, without fail dad would come home with beautiful cupcakes from the fancy bakery. He'd always come home with 5. We all ate one after dinner…Nobody was ever allowed to touch the last one." Lexie closed her eyes. "And every year. Dad would put that beautiful cupcake into a container and put it in the deep freezer in the basement Where it stayed, joining all the others.…" She paused, "They're probably still there to be honest." She'd driven by the house. Tami had been living in it while she got it ready to sell. So she guessed the deep freezer with the frozen in time cupcakes was still there.

"A deep freezer full of old mystery cupcakes?" Meredith asked "Who'd go back and eat those?"

"Meredith." Lexie started slowly "The cupcakes were for you...I didn't know that when I was a little girl. When I grew up, found out about you and learned your birthday…It made clicked. They were your birthday cupcakes…" Lexie's hands dropped as her eyes filled with tears.

"It was his terrible way of grieving and missing you…Which is stupid." Lexie admitted wiping angrily at the tears that were betraying her. "You weren't dead. He could have picked up the damn phone and demanded to see or talk to you…To wish you a freaking happy birthday!" She bit her lip. She loved her father…However this angered her. He could have done so much better for her big sister. He should have done better for her. Meredith deserved the world and had been given crap.

She found herself trying to take a calming breath. "I'd place money on you if you ever open up the hope chest we found for you. You'll find birthday cards for every year…" She added her cheeks flushing. How she wished Molly hadn't said anything. Hurting her big sister by her father's stupidity and weakness had not been on her list.

"Oh" was all Meredith could say as she fell back against her pillow tiredly. Massaging her chest.

"I am sorry, Meredith." Lexie said quietly "The gesture was sweet…But I know it's horrible… and….I am sorry. You deserved so much better...I am so so sorry."

Meredith was quiet for a minute as she processed what Lexie said. She'd seen glimpses in the past few years that Thatcher did love her in his own ways. Knowing you were loved by your parents but not being enough to be fought for was confusing.

It made her heart ache to talk to him. To talk to Ellis and ask them why she wasn't enough. To ask them what she did to deserve to be the one that was punished by their broken marriage and train wrecks of their lives.

It also bright a tiny bit of healing, knowing her father never hated her. Like she often thought growing up. She thought she was unworthy of being loved. When in fact her father had just been a broken coward of a man. It had nothing to do with her.

"Meredith?" Lexie's voice was tentative.

"I am confused, but I am okay." Meredith promised "My daddy issues are not yours and are not your fault…Okay? I am not mad at you for his faults" She grabbed her hand. "Don't take on a weight not meant for you. " She squeezed her hand before letting go. "My father gave me life, and he gave me you. That's all I have ever needed from him. It's all I want from him now."

Lexie grabbed a tissue and wiped her eyes before shoving it into her pocket as she nodded. It was unfair her sister had to even think that way.

"It also makes sense." Meredith added "So thank you for telling me."

"What?" The younger Grey asked in confusion.

"One of the last things he said to me…" Meredith put her head back down on her pillow. "The night he died…"

Meredith and Lexie hadn't talked about the night Thatcher and Molly died in detail. Neither really wanted to bring it up. Neither wanted to face it. Neither had been ready for it.

Lexie was quiet for a minutes as she listened to Meredith's wheezy sick breathing. Both lost in their own thoughts.

"You're running a fever, and you feel like crap" Lexie stated obviously "Maybe now isn't the time to talk about that night."

Meredith rolled on to her back and looked up at her kid sister. "Are you ready to hear about it?"

Lexie looked down brown eyes locking with gray-blue eyes. "I want to know...I am ready. When you're ready to tell me."

Meredith nodded as she sat back up. "Okay...Lets talk about that night..."

"Right now?" Lexie asked "You're sick."

"Sick, not dying. Quite capable of telling you about that night." Meredith repeated as she turned her body to face her sister sitting cross legged reaching for her tea as she suppressed a cough. Finally sharing that night, those moments with Lexie would almost be freeing.

"This isn't binging 90's sitcoms." Lexie mumbled as she handed Meredith a cough drop as she sensed she was holding back a cough. She reached for her own tea and let the steam mug bring her some comfort as she braced herself to listen to what Meredith had to share about their father's last minutes.