Chapter 23?! What? How! Crazy... You know how crazy thankful I am for all of you right? You make writing this even better. Thank you so much!
Meredith held tightly onto Derek's hand as they raced down the hospital halls. Her heart beating fast inside her chest. Her stomach heavy. Visions of Lexie's battered body flashing through her mind. The visual of how each and every mark got there…
Now she was running through the hospital, holding her husband's hand while one sister waited for her to return, with her broken body. Searching for some comfort and healing. Very much needing things to be okay.
Another sister and her father in other rooms. With what she could only guess were with severe injuries. The weight of the unknown is heavy on her. How would Lexie handle any of this?
If they were okay, but needed care; would she push her own body past it's limit to care for them? Would she want her help, or would she push Meredith away. After all Molly and Thatcher were Lexie's family. They were her roots were planted. Meredith was just a new branch. The weak one on the family tree of Lexie's life.
What if God forbid their injuries were so severe they couldn't recover? How would Lexie react to that? What would the depth of that grief do to her? Do to her current injuries. What would it do for their relationship? Would she push Meredith away? Would she grow to hate Meredith for being the one that was there? She'd want her father and little sister. They were who she knew.
Meredith wasn't even sure when she started caring so much. She had been used to being a loner. She was used to people leaving her. Now she had Derek, Cristina, Alex and Lexie right there in her inner circle. As well as several others that had become her family. The thought of any of them leaving her made her want to puke. She didn't want to be a loner anymore...And she really didn't want to picture a life without her bubbly kid sister.
"Meredith?" Derek halted as the approached where Thatcher was.
She turned her head in his direction as she shook her thoughts of Lexie and what she had just told her mere minutes ago. She pushed the what ifs away. She needed to focus on the now. This is where Lexie needed her to be focused. If Lexie couldn't be there for Thatcher and Molly she sure the hell was going to be.
"Molly's in surgery?" She asked, trying to remember what Derek had told her. It seemed like her brain only had room for so much in that minute.
"She is." Derek answered "They managed to get Thatcher stable and he's about to head into surgery himself. "He's asking for you…"
"For me?" Meredith asked "He's asking for me?"
Derek placed both hands on her arms as he locked eyes with her. "You're his daughter too….He's asking for you."
Meredith took a deep breath as she pushed back the curtain and slowly walked in. Machine's beeping. She winced when she saw her father's swollen face. The road burn covering his arms, cheeks and forehead.
Her colleagues were moving around the room working on preparing to move him into surgery. However he must have sensed a change in the room as his eyes opened.
Bloodshot blue eyes met hers. He managed a small smile. One that actually made his eyes light up a little. "Meredith."
"Hi." She swallowed him as she moved closer to his bed.
"Molly?" He asked tiredly, "Nobody will tell me anything." His voice was horse as he swallowed hard. "That car came out of nowhere, I had seconds to react, I tried to push her out of the way. I tried to save her." He closed his eyes for a second. "My baby."
"She's in surgery." Meredith offered "That's all I know at the moment, but I will find out more as soon as I can. I promise you."
Satisfied with the answer Thatcher nodded "Lexie?" he asked.
"She's having a better day. Getting stronger" Meredith smiled "I was just with her. Was waiting to check on you before I updated her on you and Molly."
Thatcher nodded "Good, do you know who hurt her?" He asked tiredly as his eyes closed. "Has she talked yet? She needs to talk."
Meredith debated on if she should answer that question for a moment before nodding "Yes, she told me."
"Can we find him?" Thatcher asked, "He can't hurt her again. We can't let her get hurt." He cleared his throat "He can't hurt you either. I need you girls safe."
Meredith swallowed a lump in her throat not wanting to tell Thatcher the man that hit him and Molly in the crosswalk was the same man. "He can't hurt anyone after today, and I promise I will make sure Lexie is okay."
Thatcher's eyes opened as he studied his daughter's face before reaching for her hand. "I am sorry, Meredith." His voice was weak and cracked. "I failed you, in so many ways. I always loved you even when I was failing you." His voice quiet. "I am so sorry." He apologized again as a lone tear rolled down his cheek.
He had failed her. His failures had hurt her deeply, and part of her wasn't sure she'd ever fully forgive him. Yet a tiny part of her had a little grace for him. Part of her wanted to comfort him. She wanted him to be okay. "It's okay." She managed to say. It wasn't okay, but she didn't have any other words.
"We both know it's not…" He held out his hand again when Meredith hadn't taken it the first time.
This time Meredith found her hand slipping into his. "Your hand used to be so small." His voice sounded far away. "When you'd put it in mine. It was so small." His eyes closed "And you'd hold on so tightly when we crossed busy streets, or walked through Pikes Place.
"We watched them throw fish…" Meredith said quietly as a memory came flooding back to her. She hadn't liked how crowded Pikes Place Market was. It made her nervous. She was afraid if she let go of Thatcher's hand even for a second she'd be swept up into the crowd. Never to see her parents again. As a four year old that was the worst thought imaginable. Though ten year old Meredith would have disagreed with four year old Meredith's thought process.
"You held on so tightly." Thatcher said again "And you would giggle, as the fish flew through the air. I loved to listen to you giggle."
"You told me they were flying magical fish." Meredith smiled sadly "Because I had started to cry when I thought they were dying because they weren't in the water anymore. You told me they were magical, and were alive with a mission…You'd make up a different mission for each fish."
Thatcher squeezed her hand "A father would rather hear his toddler giggle over cry….You were only that small once. I knew the world would show you it's ugly side later. I wanted you to have a moment in life…Where the world wasn't so hard…"
Meredith was quiet for a moment. "Mom told me later that night they were all dead…The next time we went back, I knew they were dead…I just liked to hear the stories you made up about their magical journeys."
Thatcher swallowed hard again "No magical missions this time for the fish." His eyes closed as he swallowed hard. "Take care of your sisters…" He spoke softly.
"Thatcher…"
"I am sorry, I failed you, and it cost you your childhood. Especially the time with your sisters. With Lexie. I see the bond you girls share. It's special. I am so sorry." He apologized sincerely "Take care of them, they need you…and…"
"Thatcher." Meredith shook her head "Stop talking like that! You're not going anywhere."
Thatcher's breathing became labored "Let them in Meredith, let them care for you too. Don't let what I did to you, close you off. You girls need each other. After all, you know what it's like to have a sister…and it's good." He repeated her words back to her.
"You're going to be right there, when Molly gets out of surgery…When Lexie gets released."
"I love you." Thatcher's voice shook as the machines around them began to beep. "Tell them I love them…please tell them…" Thatcher coughed as he managed a small squeeze of Meredith's fingers. "I love you girls. You're the very best of me Meredith"
Meredith stood still holding onto Thatcher's hand as her grip grew tighter, just like when she was little and holding it at Pikes Place Market. Though there was no magical flying fish this time. "Thatcher."
Thatcher squeezed her fingers one more time before his hand went limp in hers.
The alarm bells began to go off as a team swarmed them. Pushing Meredith out of the way.
"Thatcher." She yelled as she fought to hold onto his hand.
"Dr. Grey. You need to step back." Everything was so fuzzy and loud that she wasn't even sure who was in the room or who was talking to her.
"We're losing him."
"Thatcher." Meredith yelled again. A lump forming in her throat. "Oh, God."
"Start compressions."
"Dad…" Meredith tried again this time quieter as Derek showed up behind her as he placed his hand on the small of her back as he pulled away.
"No" Meredith cried out "No. He can't die…Lexie needs him...I..." She tried to shrug Derek off, but she couldn't. "No…"
After a few more seconds of commotion… She heard what she was dreading most. "Time of death…."
"No…" Meredith cried as Derek lifted her back and carried her from the room.
"You know the rest…" Meredith finished her story as she lay back on her pillow. "I came and told you shortly after…" She closed with the image of Lexie dropping to her knees when she found out Thatcher died. The sound of her sister's sobs forever engraved in her brain. The sight of the blood seeping from the broken stitches. Made her fevered body shudder.
Lexie was quiet for a moment as she processed what Meredith told her. Meredith had been with her mother in her last seconds and with her father. She never thought what kind of toll that would take on her big sister. Had she even realized. Another realization hit her. Causing her stomach to drop.
"We can't take care of each other." Lexie finally said after finding her voice.
Meredith opened one eye as her eyebrow raised. "What?" She asked
"We can't take care of each other." Lexie repeated. "Like his dying wish." Her voice cracked as she wiped angrily at her eyes.
Meredith sat up confused. She was pretty sure the last few months was a lot of them looking out for each other. Yes Meredith had been the one to really take care of Lexie during the healing process of the assault… But Lexie also looked out for Meredith in little subtle ways. Making sure to always fill Meredith a to go cup of coffee every morning she made the coffee. When Meredith was tired Lexie picked up the slack in the household, she did Meredith and Derek's laundry. Made sure the bathrooms were cleaned. She often would sneak Meredith's car keys out during the middle of a working day and go fill the car with gas on her lunch, the weeks Meredith carpooled the most. She'd leave a little note of encouragement in her locker on long days. Lexie did little things that would go unnoticed by most but never by Meredith. She knew her gestures were quiet and behind the scenes so Meredith wouldn't feel uncomfortable or smothered. She did what she knew was best for Meredith to care for her.
"How…" Meredith asked trying to figure out how Lexie didn't see any of that.
"Molly's dead." Lexie sniffed "We can't take care of each other as sisters, because Molly died too."
Realization filled Meredith's eyes as she slowly sat up. "I know he didn't want her to die too, I know he thought she was going to be okay." She assured her sister. "He didn't know the extent of her injuries, but even if he had. I know in my heart, he'd want you and I to take care of each other. That was his dying wish. For us to have each other."
"Molly should be here too, she was the baby sister!" She snapped "Molly should be here!"
Meredith nodded in agreement "Molly should be here…and it sucks that she's not. I am so sorry Lexie." Meredith wrapped her arm around her sister and hugged her close. Grief and it's waves were brutal. You never knew when they'd hit.
Lexie allowed Meredith to hug her for a moment before pulling away as she tried to gain composure. "I am glad you got that moment with dad…I am glad you were the last person to see both my parents."
Meredith paused as realization hit her. She had been with both Susan and Thatcher in their final moments. She'd never connected that before. Did that actually bring Lexie comfort? She searched her sister's eyes for anger or resentment but she found nothing but warmth behind the brown eyes looking back at her.
"Yeah?" She asked
"It makes me feel better, they weren't alone. They had you…Their daughter or bonus daughter in my mom's case." She spoke quickly. "They had family…"
Meredith thought about Susan's last seconds and Thatcher's how they both had grabbed onto her hands. As if they both tried to assure her. Even if they were scared. The images of their faces made her shudder. Grief sucked.
"You okay?" Lexie asked reaching out, placing her hand on Meredith's forehead. "Your fever is going down…But I think we should be done talking about death." She knew she needed things to get lighter. So she was guessing Meredith did too. After all she was the one running a fever.
"We can talk about dad and Susan as long as you need?" Meredith offered. "Always."
"I like knowing you held his hand." Lexie said quietly "I like knowing he didn't die alone…Molly didn't have you, but she had Cristina with her and that oddly brings me comfort too. Because Cristina's your twisted sister, so your twisted sister was with my sister, and I know as much as Cristina says she doesn't care…She cares, and she cared that day."
"She did care." Meredith agreed, "We all cared."
Lexie sighed "Is it always going to hurt?"
"Yes" Meredith responded honestly "But over time, the pain will get more manageable…"
"Meredith, you can't die." Lexie spoke quietly. Her voice sounding so childlike and innocent. "At least not until you're old and Grey. I have a lot of lost years to make up for, and I want and need my big sister…Always."
"I'll do my best." Meredith knew not to promise Lexie something that big. She knew how unpredictable life was. How short and fragile it could be. "But I do promise, that for however long we have together, that we will make the best of it, and we will fulfill Dad's dying wish and take care of each other. Deal?" She asked.
Lexie was quiet for a moment before nodding "I'll do my best to not leave you too. I love you."
"Remember that, when I am annoying you." Meredith teased.
"You mean like daily?" Lexie asked as she patted the pillow. "Lay down, you're supposed to be resting. Not having a deep therapy session."
"I do not annoy you daily." Meredith grumbled as she did lay back down while Lexie set the laptop back up to finish their Growing Pain binge watch.
"Do too." Lexie smirked, "Every day is a long day. With you."
"Well if you weren't such a pain in the ass..." Meredith smiled
"I am pretty sure it's you who is the pain in the ass…" Lexie stretched out "I mean after all, everyone thinks I am the sweet innocent Grey…You're the Dark and Twisted one."
"They don't know your pain in the ass side, like me…and maybe April." Meredith smiled. "April knows, you dropped her bagel in soapy water."
"That was my bagel, and she dropped it." Lexie grumbled but smiled. She loved bantering back and forth with her sister over little things. It made things feel almost sisterly normal.. She stretched out next to Meredith and began to run her fingers back through Meredith's hair as her mother had done to her.
She expected Meredith to have a comeback but when she didn't. Lexie peered down and realized her sister had fallen asleep. Quickly she thought to herself. Maybe they really were more alike than she thought.
She continued to run her fingers through Meredith's hair for a few more minutes but it didn't take long for her eyes to close and her to fall quickly asleep next to Meredith.
That's how Derek found them a few hours later. Curled up together in his bed. Laptop still playing. Meredith snoring even louder due to her cold.
He chuckled to himself as he grabbed the computer and powered it down before placing it on his dresser. He quickly grabbed his shorts and tee-shirt he slept in, before covering the girls with a blanket. Before leaving quietly hoping to not wake them, and thankful it was Lexie in there with his wife and her snoring nose. It meant he was going to get a good night sleep way up in the attic. Where he'd steal Lexie's bed and enjoy the silence.