Disclaimer:- I neither own nor own anything from this story. My plot is my own but the world of Harry Potter is the intellectual property of JK Rowling and associates.
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A/N:- Thank you to you all for your reviews and alerts for the last chapter, all were appreciated. Here is the next instalment, which is still being posted without a beta, so I'm sorry for anything I've not caught in my revisions before publishing. I hope you enjoy it.
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Chapter Three – Mind Blowing
It was a very groggy Hermione who opened her eyes the next morning as Toby knocked on her bedroom door. Sleep had eluded her last night, and after she'd had a good long cry at her situation, she'd decided that if she wasn't going to sleep then she might as well be trying to do something towards explaining their situation better. Consequentially, now as she tried to move, she found herself hemmed in with books.
"Hello?" he asked sounding very uncertain. "Are you awake?"
Glancing at her bedside clock, the Gryffindor witch saw that it was almost nine in the morning. "Oh, good god," she gasped, and roused herself. "I'm sorry, Toby. It's okay you can come in, love," she told him, rubbing her eyes sleepily.
Since it had literally taken her an age to get to sleep last night; it was no wonder she'd slept in. However, she'd put the time that she couldn't sleep to good use, she'd had Severus' personal elf—after some debating about permission—bring her up several books like the ones that Luna had told her she'd bring today, and she'd spent much time reading.
In fact, she'd gone to sleep reading, and her bed was littered with books, well, that was nothing new, but they were normally her books not purloined ones.
The door opened slowly, and a head came around the door. "Good morning," he said.
"Hello, little man," but that was as far as she got.
"Are those my books?" Severus' voice demanded, coming through loud and clear over Toby's little boy voice.
She blushed slightly. "Yes, I'm sorry for pinching them without your express permission, but I couldn't sleep and my thirst for knowledge about our current situation needed to be tamed."
To her surprise, the man chuckled, and when she looked up there was the ghost of the adult surrounding the boy. Well, that's an interesting development, she thought, but listened as Severus spoke again.
"Mm, well, I suppose I should apologise too, it's just a bit of a shock seeing some priceless first editions in bed with you, even if they do look rather fetching in that situation," the ghostly image said. "Of course, you may borrow anything you wish, my dear."
Hermione gasped as he genially inclined his head to her, and two and two slotted together in her head. "Severus?"
"Yes, Hermione?" and he sounded amused, seemingly to already know what she was about to ask.
"Were you… did you… last night, umm, after Toby was asleep?" and she looked to the little boy, she did not want to say too much, as he was too young to know of things best kept between adults.
Severus chuckled again. "Indeed I was and I did… In fact I very much hope that last night we took a definitive step in deepening our friendship."
"Oh," she gasped, and it was only then that her brain seemed to catch up—she was never very good first thing in the morning—with what he'd just said about the books being fetching, and at the same time she seemed to realise that she was having a conversation with adult Severus and she was in bed with her most comfortable and rattiest looking nightie on. She flushed deeply, but this was also the moment that little Toby lost all patience in waiting for the adults to finish their conversation.
"Can we have breakfast soon? I'm starving," he proclaimed.
"Then we best allow Hermione to get dressed," Severus said, looking down at his smaller counterpart.
This was a light bulb moment for Hermione. "You guys can see and react to one another today?" she said.
"Yes, our situation seems to be evolving," Severus replied, steering Toby from the room, and prompting the boy to shut the door.
That was when she noticed that Severus appeared to be in the same clothing as his smaller counterpart, and didn't his backside look adorable in the jeans that Toby was wearing. How was that even possible? She decided not to dwell on it too much, and making a hasty pile of books on her bedside table she threw her legs over the side of her bed and levered herself up.
As Hermione got ready to face the day, she pondered things. Yesterday Severus had to say everything through Toby, but this morning he can speak for himself, and is it my imagination, or is our little boy starting to break free? Yesterday, he was helping research, but today he seems to have no interest in anything but having his breakfast. Could it be that they are becoming more individual… as in two separate individuals? It will be interesting to hear what Severus thinks about that, she thought as she opened her bedroom door and walked out into her sitting room.
They hadn't been going down to the hall for meals, and this morning they would be too late to do so in any case, so she called her elf and kindly asked her for two plates of whatever was served in the hall this morning for breakfast, with coffee for her and pumpkin juice for Toby.
Today, there was little to do but wait out whatever was going on. They'd come up to a dead end with the recipes and the ingredients, and they decided that Ron must have put something else into the brew that was neither in the recipe, nor abundant enough in the sample to be tested easily. It may have been—and was very likely to be—something as simple as an ingredient stuck to a dirty stirring rod from a previous brew. Hermione had often been subject to Severus' rants about how careful one had to be about cross-contamination, and how those idiot redheads were not, and she smiled at the man concerned as she watched him playing chess with his younger self, and pointing to the piece that he wanted moved when it was his turn.
As Hermione watched them she saw that even as the day wore on that the two of them had become more independent of one another. Therefore, it did seem to Hermione that just waiting until tomorrow evening and the full moon might be their best opportunity to separate the two completely. Mind you, she was still concerned that once they were separated that one of them would simply evaporate, and that would break her heart. It didn't really matter which one disappeared, the results for her would be heartbreak, because even though she'd only had the little boy with her for two days he already felt like her child.
She wanted to give him the happy home that Severus had never had, because so far the change in both of them because of her love and care for them had been phenomenal. It made her wonder if it had been the catalyst for that kiss last night too, and this time as she watched them, adult Severus looked up and returned her smile. This made her stomach twist in pleasure, and of course she blushed which made his smile widen.
xox
As the afternoon worn on with no sign of Luna, Hermione was starting to wonder if perhaps she'd upset her friend by refusing her offer of relief yesterday, but she still thought the offer had been inappropriate at the time. Sure, they'd mucked around a bit when they'd been teenagers, but that had been years ago, and she most certainly wasn't interested in that sort of casual interaction anymore. If that was the reason that she wasn't turning up today, then that was pretty short-sighted.
Therefore, she had little to do but watch her men—the little one and his adult counterpart—and wait for the slowly unfolding situation to bear fruit, even if it was sending her a little crazy. She'd read much about schisms in personality and how people could be two different personalities, but there was literally nothing about people becoming two different people, even in magical books that explained many wondrous occurrences there was nothing, but her logical brain had decided that it just could not happen, and it was tearing her apart.
Adult Severus had noticed her frantic mind, but not wanting to panic the little boy he was still attached to, he had only been able to offer a squeezed hand here and there, and a reassuring smile. Then that was another development throughout the day too, now Severus was able to touch and hold things. It had taken him by surprise when it first started, but he was very pleased to be able to hopefully offer Hermione some comfort in their strange situation.
The Potions Master was feeling almost every single emotion that Hermione was, and he was also painfully aware that they had over twenty-four hours to go before they could partition the full moon to intervene on their behalf. He could feel he and his younger self becoming more and more separate, and he was hoping that tonight that he and Hermione might have the opportunity to speak privately as they had momentarily last night before he'd been pulled back into Toby's body as the boy had stirred in his sleep and his conscious mind had surfaced enough to garner control again.
Severus was also aware that the power to exert that control over their bond was waning in the boy, and by tonight it was possible that they would have separated even more. Therefore, there was nothing that any of them could do but wait. It would not help anything to take off for an amusement park like they had yesterday. He had to say that letting go like a child yesterday had been so freeing, and he was very happy for his younger self to enjoy such treats. These had been things that he as a child had longed to participate in, but had been denied the opportunity to do so.
This made his eyes turn to the witch who had provided his younger self with more nurturing in two days than his parents had in a lifetime, and he reached out and grabbed her hand as she passed him.
She gasped, her pacing forgotten, she came to a halt and looked down at their joined hands. The few times he'd squeezed her hand earlier suddenly came sharply into focus, as she'd been so distracted before she'd not noticed it as out of the ordinary, but being pulled to a stop had made her focus. "Severus, you're stronger independently, almost like last night while Toby was asleep."
The corner of his mouth ticked up into a smile, and he nodded. "Yes," he agreed.
However, this made Hermione's eyes suddenly rocket down to look at little Sev to make sure that he was not somehow fading away, and she breathed out a shaky breath as she saw that he was just as real and robust as he had been moments before. She allowed herself to be pulled down next to adult Severus, and she snuggled into his side as his arm went around her.
"Sit quietly for a time, Hermione, at least until Miss Lovegood arrives," Severus told her. "I believe that we are dealing here with a totally unique situation, one that will never likely occur again, so we cannot predict what will happen," he told her softly, and he glanced at Toby playing with building blocks at his feet. "I like the name Toby," he said quietly.
She smiled softly. "Yes, me too, but our unique situation is my problem, Severus," Hermione started to say, but her eyes flicked down to little Toby playing quietly and she saw his dark eyes focusing on her words so she stopped speaking, but being an inquisitive child he couldn't help but ask.
"What are you worried about, Mummy?"
Hermione didn't think that he even realised what he'd said, but she gasped and shot down to kneel beside him, knowing that he was still attached by the tips of his toes to the man sitting on the lounge. "You called me mummy," she choked out.
His large dark eyes opened wide, and then he smiled. "Well, you care for me, aren't you my mother?" he asked.
Hermione pulled him into her arms. "Yes, I'll be your mother, sweetie, and I will care for and love as fiercely as I know how." She suddenly realised that these moments were precious, and that she should cherish them, regardless of what happened next.
They were brought out of their declarations of care by a soft tap on the door.
"I guess that will be Luna," Hermione stated, wiping her suspiciously wet eyes, and going to get up. However, when she reached the door she found that it was Minerva with yet another revelation from Fred and George.
"Hello, Hermione," the headmistress said. "How are things progressing today," and she looked past the younger witch to the pair at the lounge. "Oh my, they seem to be becoming two people," she declared.
Hermione smiled at the pair fondly. "Yes, they do. Would you care for some tea, Minerva?"
The headmistress smiled, and handed Hermione a ratty looking magazine that she'd been holding cautiously by the corner. "Here, George wanted me to pass this on, he found it stuffed under a pile of socks in Ronald's room, and yes, I'd love some tea."
This left Hermione gingerly holding the magazine in the same manner after the admission that it had been in Ronald's dirty socks, as the headmistress walked into the room proper and plonked herself down with Severus and Toby. However, as her eyes examined the magazine carefully, holding as far away from herself as she could, Hermione suddenly realised the significance of it. "Oh," she gasped. "This is it, this is the magazine," she said excitedly, rifling through the magazine to get to the correct pages, and she gasped again when she did, hurrying towards Severus. "Look," she cried, "these pages are stuck together, and here this recipe contains lady beetles and yellow rue."
Severus grabbed the book from her and took in the remainder of the recipe. "We have work to do, my boy," he told Toby, and encouraged him up from the floor. "You may bring your blocks if you wish," he added, as the little boy pouted. "We'll leave Mummy and Aunt Minerva to talk while we examine this more closely," the Potions Master stated.
Toby gathered up his blocks and went with his older self to Hermione's study, leaving the two witches looking after them.
"Mummy?" Minerva squeaked, her eyes wide.
Hermione blushed. "It was the little one who instigated it," she clarified.
"I see," Minerva stated, watching Hermione preparing tea. "So, it appears that the two of them are splitting somehow."
"Yes, it appears so," Hermione agreed. "Well, at least I hope so," and her eyes trailed over to her study door.
"You care for them both, don't you?"
"Indeed I do, very much," and she inhaled what sounded like a painful breath. "Minerva, I never thought I'd have the chance to be a mother."
"Mm," the headmistress replied. "And Severus?"
She blushed, brighter this time. "Well, that is for him to say, but I'm hoping that once they are two separate entities that…"
"But you can't honestly be expecting both of them to remain, surely," Minerva cut in.
Hermione faltered, and the cup she was handing Minerva rattled ominously. The headmistress took the cup and placed it on the side table. "Hermione, I never took you as the type to give in to flights of fancy like this."
Hermione drew back like Minerva had hit her. "I'm allowed to dream occasionally, just like a normal person, surely," she gasped, as her former head of house succinctly attempted to pull her down to earth and tether her there.
Apparently Severus had heard Hermione's distress from the next room, and he and Toby arrived in the doorway. "Hermione?" the elder asked, seeing her pained expression. It made him guide his younger self over to Hermione and he sat beside her as Toby stood at his feet.
Hermione snuggled into his side and reached for his hand. "Minerva was just telling me that what I'm hoping for is fruitless," she stated softly, glancing at the little boy at their feet and mitigating her words so that he would not know they were referring to him not being there.
Severus took Hermione's meaning and he looked straight at Minerva. "When did you become so like Albus, Minerva?" he questioned. "He so liked to dash peoples hope as well. I survived a tenue as head of this school without changing, what is it about Gryffindors that makes them devoid of feeling as soon as they ascend the throne?"
Minerva huffed, and stood. "What is occurring here is improper and inappropriate, and I think that you Severus should move back to your own quarters, it is unseemly for you to be residing here like this," she stated.
"Indeed," Severus replied, raising a raven eyebrow in challenge. "Then I will take my family elsewhere," and gathering Hermione and Toby to himself he apparated away with a thunderous crack.
xox
It wasn't until they landed in front of an old, but pleasant, looking Victorian style house on a hill top that Severus realised that he was no longer joined to Toby. Apparently, in his fit of temper at Minerva they'd both experienced a spike of magic, and it had been enough to free them from the remnants of whatever had been binding them.
Hermione's head was spinning, Severus Snape had possessively grabbed her and Toby, and he'd left Hogwarts with a deafening crack. He wanted them to be a family, and without thinking she picked up the little boy she thought of as a son, and held him tightly to her as she grinned like a loon at Severus. "You want us," she said.
"Of course I want you, witch. I thought I made that clear last night. We've been friends for eight years now, but before last night I've never had the courage to ask you to make it more, for fear of losing your treasured friendship."
Still holding her little boy, she took a step towards Severus. "What a pair of idiots we are, I was doing the same, oh Severus. Now all we have to do is get this…" and she gestured to his feet only to realise that they were indeed two separate people. "Oh, Severus," she cried, "and you're both still here with me."
Toby looked down with wide eyes and then to the two adults. "Mummy?" he asked, tightening his small arms around her neck, but whatever he'd been going to say was cut off when he saw Hermione and Severus just looking at one another, and Hermione had tears streaming down her cheeks. "Mummy, are you and Daddy sad," his little voice asked.
"No, baby… Why?"
"Cause you're crying," he told her earnestly.
"Am I?" Hermione said, wiping her eyes, and looking at Severus, whose eyes were also suspiciously moist. "But we're happy, these are happy tears, my little man."
Severus stepped up and took both of them into his arms. "Yes, Mummy's right we're both very happy, son."
"Are we going to be a family?" he asked hopefully.
"Would you like that?" the Severus said to his junior, and watched the little boy nodding strenuously as he continued to cling to Hermione. He was coming to realise that there was no link between them at all now, and he was now speaking to an entirely separate entity who was only a small child.
As he'd been reacting to the situation, the Potions Master had been examining his mind for any traces of the child he'd been attached to, and he'd found nothing. That painfully hopeful little boy that he'd been holding deep inside himself like a treasure for all these years was now free and clinging to the best hands possible. Hermione would—as she already told him—fight fiercely for him, and Severus realised that they needed to take another bolder step to guarantee that happened.
They needed to marry, something he'd only dreamed of doing one day, so together they could make certain that Toby grew up in a loving and supportive home. A home with Hermione as his wife would be everything that he'd ever dreamed it would be. "I'm glad to hear it," he murmured, very aware that Hermione was watching him with a soft glow in her pretty eyes.
Severus leant forward and brushed his lips over hers. "I'm very lucky to have you, Hermione," he murmured against them. "Thank you."
She blushed, very aware that their little one was watching their interaction, and she responded, "And I am so blessed to have both of you," and her eyes connected with his. "I love you, Severus."
He smiled, a proper true smile, and replied, "And I you, dearest," and this time their lips met for longer. "You've saved me… us," he whispered, and then tussled Toby's raven locks, his dark eyes still connected with Hermione's, but finally he encouraged, "Come, let us see our new home," he told them both, changing his grip to sling an arm around Hermione's shoulders and start to guide them past the front gates.
Both adults were aware that any further discussion over their situation would have to wait until Toby was safely asleep in his bed tonight. However, that didn't stop Hermione's inquisitiveness, and as soon as they started walking up the winding drive of their new home her questions started. "Is this your house?" she asked.
"It was left to me," Severus answered softly. "I think Albus thought it would in part make up for his manipulations where I was concerned."
Hermione snorted, still valiantly holding their little child to her body, probably in fear that he would suddenly evaporate.
Over the years they'd talked through what Albus bloody Dumbledore had put Severus through, and she'd realised that she'd only known the tip of the iceberg before. "He would think that," she commented, relinquishing her hold on Toby enough to place one hand on his forearm in solidarity. "You've never mentioned this before," she ventured, gesturing to the house on the hill.
"No," he replied. "It never seemed important, my home was at Hogwarts… While you were there I was not planning to let you think that I had another option, for fear that your sense of fairness would compel me to come and live here because you thought that I should be free," he admitted.
Hermione stopped walking. "Oh, Severus, I would have never wished you gone from my life."
He nodded. "I can see that now, but early on it was a fear, and then it became too late to tell you without you reasonably thinking that I'd withheld the information from you."
"I see," she replied, and then snickered. "What did Aberforth think of you inheriting over him?" she asked, changing the subject.
"Not much," Severus replied evenly, watching Hermione's eyebrow rise in question. "His exact words are too spicy for young ears, but I shall inform you later, if you wish."
Her expression softened and she smiled. "I can imagine," but then she asked a question that had started burning in her breast the moment she realised that she'd not known about this place. "Have you spent much time here?" She kind of already knew that the answer was, no he hadn't, because they spent their holidays together, and during term no one really got to go anywhere without a great deal of planning to avoid all one's duties.
He gave her a look that definitely said, what do you think, and he told her, "As soon as the war was over and I discovered his bequeath, I came here and changed the wards and generally took possession, moving my library in and selling my former house. I've also installed elves etcetera, but I've never spent much time here. There has never been the need before, unless I needed a book from the library or something trivial like that." He pulled them to a stop gently, and he explained more. "I've always felt guilty that you didn't know, but bringing you here when you were not my partner would have been much worse, but now we can make it our home, my darling," and his voice was low and sonorous as he spoke, and he was caressing her cheek softly.
She smiled at him, he eyes caught in his again, and she nodded. "Yes, I suppose you're right, it would have seemed strange."
Toby was still clinging to Hermione, his mind was probably in freefall, because his only former existence was with the strength of Severus' own mind backing him up, and now that was gone. The Potions Master understood how that felt, and he encouraged his little self to leave Hermione and come to him. Besides, as they walked he could see that Hermione was starting to struggle carrying him as they climbed the drive.
"Elves?" she said, reluctantly handing the little boy over, and arching that well-cultured eyebrow once more, and slipping her arm through his as they started walking again.
"Never fear, Witch, they are all abandoned elves I've collected, they are not bound to me but stay because they want to," Severus told her. "They are treated very well."
"Of course they are, Severus, because you're a reasonable man," and she glanced at Toby animatedly watching them from the security of Severus' arms, before saying, "I understand that the elves need to be attached to a family and have purpose, it was the way they were and are treated by some families that I object to, and you've overcome that."
As she'd been speaking they'd arrived up onto the front porch and were standing at the front door. Placing his hand on the door, the house recognised him and it opened allowing them to walk inside.
"I suppose I should send a message to Luna too," Hermione murmured, she was pretty sure that Luna was not coming, because she'd said after lunch, and it was well after that, but she would be polite, she thought, as she looked around the pleasantly decorated, if somewhat stuffy, entranceway. She saw Severus placing Toby on his feet out of the corner of her eye now that they were inside, and she wondered how he'd react to that, but after watching for a moment she decided that he seemed confident. So, she turned her head to look around further, and then she smiled at several elf heads peeking out of what she supposed was the kitchen doorway. "Hello," she said to them, only to have them retreat back into the kitchen and Toby to wrap his arms around her leg.
Severus watched his younger self, and squatted down to his level to talk to him. "They are helpers, and will also be your friends should you wish it," he told him. He exhaled a long breath, and laid a hand on the boy's cheek. "We will be happy here, and I like Toby as your name. I remember my mother calling me Toby sometimes when my Da was not around, she never liked the name Severus."
Hermione was watching, and she saw the smile blossom on Toby's face at Severus' approval, and she commented. "I never knew that."
Severus looked up at her and smiled. "He'd insisted on naming me that because he thought I looked too serious, even as a baby," and he shrugged.
Joining Severus down at the little boy's height, Hermione smiled at him. "I suppose people will still call you Severus in official situations, but everyone who knows you will call you Toby."
"I like that," he said, smiling at them. "I'm hungry," he added.
Hermione laughed. "Then it must be time for afternoon tea."
They started towards the kitchen, and heard several scurrying noises.
"Those little blighters were listening," Severus murmured as they approached, and this made Hermione cackle.
"Mm," she commented, and when they turned the corner into the kitchen, they both tried not to laugh at the line of elves fidgeting and scolding one another as they tried to get into the right spots to be greeted.