Chapter 2: Her... er, Him?! Never! Never!

The rest of the Oozora clan and many of their employees were gathered around the koi pond in the compound's courtyard. Genma and Ranma both felt the intensity of about two dozen eyes watching them. Genma cleared his throat as the last stragglers showed up.

"I'm not entirely sure how to start this, so..." with that Genma grabbed his son by the shirt and tossed him back into the pond.

A small curvy redhead emerged in the same clothes, "Careful where ya toss me ya panda! I nearly hit my head on the bridge"

Genma huffed, but did have to admit the boy landed a little close to the stone bridge over the pond, however he had a speech to give, "My son Ranma, who's curse was just displayed, and myself both met tragedy on a training expedition to China. I turn into a Panda, while the boy... takes the embarrassing form you see now."

"Totally avoidable tragedy if ya'd gotten a Japanese copy of the guide book," Ranma fumed.

"Were you not prepared to sacrifice your life to the art?"

"My life maybe, but not my manhood," the pigtailed boy fumed. "Especially not needlessly. An' now I'm engaged to a guy!"

"Wait," Tsubame cut in and turned to her father. "Y-you mean you engaged him to Hibari?"

"Before I found out about the curse," Ibari defended himself desperately.

"Pfff-bwahahaahaha!" Tsubame laughed. "That's just to much. Hihihiheh. They're a perfect pair of deviants. Made for each other. Bwahaha!"

Ranma and Hibari both gave her glares hot enough to melt steel. She just kept laughing. Frustration building, but not wanting to hit a girl who wasn't even a martial artist, the red-haired Ranma angrily shoved his father into the pond. An angry panda burst forth from the water and began chasing the diminutive martial artist around the courtyard. Most of the thugs let out depressed sighs at the new chaos.

"I'm not sure if he's more or less confusing that Hibari," one muttered under their breath.

After a quick shower Ranma was walking down the hall, stretching and enjoying being himself again. Accompanying him to his room were Suzume and Tsugumi, both of whom had taken the curse fairly well. To be honest Suzume may have taken it too well for Ranma's taste, having made mention of 'a new sister' at one point. Tsugumi meanwhile seemed capable of taking anything well.

"I do want to apologise for all this," Tsugumi was saying. "I am honestly disappointed with father's choice, but tradition is very important to him and his word is key to his reputation. If only he'd known the truth before signing the contract... Also, I think he might be enjoying yanking your father about a bit. I've heard his debt is quite impressive. Still, I feel sorry for you being stuck in the middle, and the risk that comes with losing."

"Luckily Saotome Ranma never loses," Ranma attempted to reply with his usual gusto, but was still off kilter enough that it didn't quite come across right.

"I still don't understand what's so bad about it," Suzume chimed in, "Ranma-kun is very handsome, and Hibari-chan is so pretty. They'd make a wonderful couple... and sometimes Ranma is pretty too."

Ranma and Tsugumi both began to sweat awkwardly. Tsugumi at her younger sister's odd ideas. Ranma at the mention that Hibari was pretty, as he found himself struggling to deny the fact.

"W-well, they're both boys," Tsugumi replied with a half-hearted shrug, "So it's not proper or allowed."

"Are you sure?" Suzume asked.

After a moment of pondering whether her little sister was questioning the first or second statement Tsugumi realised it didn't really matter and simply nodded firmly, "Yes, quite sure."

The little girl with blue hair pouted a bit, but continued to walk with them.

"You'll be headed to Wakaba High School with Tsubame and Hibari in the morning," Tsugumi continued. "I'll try to get Tsubame to apologise. She really shouldn't have said... what she said. Either way, here's your room."

Ranma opened the door and was honestly amazed. To the average teenager in Japan the room would look like a nice dormitory set up, but to Ranma (who had no memories of having his own room and was generally used to sharing a dingy motel room at the best of times) it was palatial. A full western style bed, a desk, a bookshelf, a closet and a dresser. What would he do with all that space?

"The whole thing is really mine?" the boy with the braid asked nervously, half convinced it would prove to be a mistake only noticed because he said something.

Tsugumi meanwhile, with her... somewhat more normal upbringing was a bit shocked at Ranma's response, but managed to eventually reply, "Well yes. Honestly it's not that much. You can decorate it up as you like."

Tsugumi and Suzume wished him goodnight, and left Ranma to unpack. It didn't take long. Ranma had maybe 6 shirts, three pairs of pants, and a few other odds and ends of clothing (including a pair of swim trunks he'd probably not see a use for in a very long time). He had already left his camping gear in a storage shed, so that was it. Instead he was left to gather his thoughts. There weren't to many, and they all swirled around that beautiful blonde.

"Was that really be a guy?" Ranma sighed.

Suddenly what Ranma assumed was a closet slid open. Ranma half jumped into a defensive stance before realising who was standing there.

"I could ask you the same thing," the lovely Hibari asked.

"I-er... um... What were you doing in a closet?" Ranma stuttered.

Hibari laughed rather more than Ranma thought was fair. "I wasn't in a closet, I was in my room."

Hibari moved aside to reveal what looked perfectly like how Ranma would imagine a girl's bedroom, and then continued, "We've got attached bedrooms. Very romantic."

Hibari's smile made Ranma blush nearly as bright red as his shirt.

"Well, good night my dear fiancé," Hibari said with a romantic (though also mischievous) wink before closing the door.

A flustered Ranma changed to his boxers to prepare for bed, while wondering just what had made the closet comment so funny. That and wondering why his heart was racing like this. He wasn't into guys was he? Maybe the curse was messing with him? The confused cursed boy drifted off to an unsettled sleep.

In the room beside Hibari was staring at the ceiling.

"Jusenkyo, eh?" the blonde whispered, "I wonder how hard it is to get there. Maybe Ranma calls it a curse, but for me?"

A few happy tears flowed down Hibari's cheeks.

"Ranma-kun," a gruff voice spoke, "Ranma-kun, it's time to get up."

"Five mrrrre minutes pop," Ranma muttered.

His eyelid half opened and he quickly realised that it was not his father waking him, but rather a gorilla of a man. His mind raced to piece together what was happening.

"Want a coffee or somethin'?" the large man asked. "Martial artists don't tend to smoke do they? I got smokes too."

"Huh?" Ranma grumbled.

"Anyway, here's your toothbrush," the man said, handing him a still packaged (and honestly quite nice) toothbrush. "Remember your way to the bathroom?"

"Uh... oh," Ranma blinked awake properly and (most) of the pieces fell into place. "Yeah, down the hall... on the right."

Ranma wandered towards said objective, still at least a little asleep, but made it in just fine. There was a bit of noise from the bathing area, but he paid it no mind as he hunted for the toothpaste. Suddenly the door to the bath opened, and out stepped the gorgeous blonde from the day before, wearing only a towel around the waist. Ranma blushed bright red and spun to look away as Hibari gasped and covered a flat and masculine chest. (Well, admittedly the Oozora heir's overall build was rather slight and feminine, but the chest clearly lacked typical feminine form.)

"Bright red and turning away," Hibari giggled, "A true gentleman. I'm glad my fiancé is no pervert."

"A guy," the stunned Ranma muttered after Hibari had left the room, "That was definitely a guy... And the steam from the shower is definitely hot."

His heart however was still racing, and his face still bright red, as he brushed his teeth.

"It's gotta be the curse," he said quietly. It was becoming a mantra.

"What's the curse?" the little blue haired Suzume asked, as she arrived to brush her teeth.

"N-nothing," Ranma blushed.

Ranma quickly ran through the rest of the morning preparations. Getting dressed didn't take long. He grabbed breakfast off the kitchen table and had eaten it by the time he reached the front door, setting the bowl down on a convenient table. A slightly grumpy looking Tsubame was already getting her shoes on.

"Ah," she said nervously as Ranma followed her outside to head to school. "I suppose... I suppose I was a little harsh on you yesterday."

Ranma raised an eyebrow. He wanted to say something along the lines of: 'A little? I ain't a weirdo like your brother!', but was tired enough his brain hadn't properly formed the sentence before Tsubame continued.

"Based on how you've acted about it I'm pretty sure you didn't get that curse on purpose," the second eldest Oozora sister paused a moment. "You didn't get that one on purpose right?"

"What?" Ranma blustered, taken aback. "Of course not. I mean... A lot of the curses at Jusenkyo are way worse, so I kinda lucked out to stay human and able to talk and everythin', but the least bad still ain't somethin' I want."

She clearly mulled that answer over during a silence that lasted just long enough to get awkward, before nodding. "That makes sense. Just with Hibari around... sometimes he acts like a girl to the point even my sisters and I forget he isn't, so I know he'd probably hop in that nyan-er-whatever pool first thing."

Ranma's memory of catching Hibari step out of the shower that morning suddenly popped into his head, but then became edited with a sudden splash of cold water turning the already pretty blonde completely feminine... it was enough to push Ranma into a deep blush.

"He-he probably would," Ranma spluttered. "He's an... odd one."

" 'HE' is also right behind you two," Hibari cut in with an annoyed tone. "It's rude to talk about someone behind their back. Even if you were technically in front of me this time."

Hibari then let out a huff before hurrying ahead of the other two, striding confidently onto the school grounds. Ranma noticed something in Hibari's hand, and was figuring out what it was when his fiancée held it up and began to speak.

"Everyone! I have an announcement," Hibari declared, voice amplified by the megaphone she carried. "I, Oozora Hibari, have a fiancé now. His name is Saotome Ranma. That is all. Thank you."

Ranma was red in the face and terrified that the school populace would think about two guys being engaged, when a reassuring hand placed itself on his shoulder.

"I should probably have mentioned this earlier," Tsubame said softly, "But Hibari attends school as a girl. No one knows otherwise."

Ranma was relieved, but then filled with confusion. "And your pop allows that? Despite his efforts to make his son manly?"

"It... it's easier this way. Trust me. Father tried. Hibari won."

'Well,' Ranma thought to himself, 'so much for bein' able to pretend I didn't know him when at school. Still gotta get outta this.'

Ranma was relieved to not have to worry about rumours about his sexuality at least. Walking to the shoe lockers he saw Hibari open up one of the lockers to have a pile of envelopes fall out. Hibari picked them all up and handed them to Ranma.

"Should give you an idea of who might want vengeance," Hibari giggled.

Ranma looked down and realised they were all love letters from various boys. He blinked as he dropped them in the trash, amazed that the whole school really did think of Hibari as a girl. Shaking his head he hurried off to the class listed on the papers he'd been given.

A few moments later he was standing at the front of the glass beside the short bespectacled teacher with dark hair slightly past her shoulders.

"I would like to introduce you all to Saotome Ranma-kun," Iwasaki-sensei was saying, her voice filled with a naive (almost childlike) enthusiasm. "Saotome-kun has recently returned from a martial arts training expedition in India."

"Er, China," Ranma interrupted.

"Oh yes. Oops. That makes more sense. Anyway, it was just him and his father, journeying together. Long days and cold nights. His father's single minded focus putting the martial arts above all else. Alone with a cold man in a foreign land eventually young Ranma's patience couldn't take any more and he fled, returning to Japan to seek out the almost forgotten warmth of his mother's love and cooking."

"Er," Ranma muttered, half in shock. "N-not quite."

"Oh? Oh yes, sorry. I was just trying to fill in some details. Though I suppose that with you staying at Oozora-san's home means you've not returned to your mother's," the sensei blushed.

Meanwhile at the back of the class a lanky brown haired boy grumbled under his breath. "So that's the so called fiancé? Hmph."

He angrily tossed a crumpled note to Hibari, who opened it up. 'Ditch the loser and go on a date with me Sunday?' it asked. Hibari turned back with a smile, and Shiina tried to give off a confident and seductive wink. Hibari meanwhile just held up a sheet of paper saying 'How much will you pay? Gotta be a lot: I'm engaged'. Shiina fell out of his chair.

"Hibari, what's happening back there?" Iwasaki-sensei asked, distracted from her previous effort to seemingly convince Ranma he'd lived in a ninja village when he was 7.

"When you think of summer what food do you think of?" Hibari replied.

"Watermelon of course!" Iwasaki-sensei declared confidently. "Wait... that wasn't the subject at hand. Er, Ranma-kun, go take the seat behind Hibari-chan."

Ranma grumbled, having not realised he was stuck in the same class as his so called fiancée, and was even more annoyed to have to sit so close to Hibari. Hibari waved happily. Distracted by his grumbling he didn't notice Shiina's leg sticking out into the aisle between desks until he was already tripping. Luckily he put his hands out to catch himself and transferred the momentum to do a forward flip and land on his feet. Apart from a glaring Shiina the class broke out in applause.

"I don't like him," Shiina muttered, "And he's acting too chummy with Hibari."

Ranma mostly zoned out for the rest of the morning, and almost didn't notice when the bell rang for lunch. Almost. A call for food could never successfully get past a Saotome. Before most of the class had stood up Ranma had bounded across as series of desks and was out the door, following his nose to try to hunt down the cafeteria (sure, Tsugumi had given him a nice little lunch, but he wanted a bit more food than that). Not knowing the school he ended up taking a less than optimal route and there was already a significant line when he made it.

Standing in line Ranma quickly found himself surrounded by guys in his grade, and they were all declaring how lucky he was to get to be Hibari's fiancé. How Hibari was the most popular girl in their grade (and even had some upperclassmen interested). Especially insistent where one pair of guys, one with longish hair and another short fluffy hair. Ranma grumbled, both annoyed at a forced engagement of any sort and his personal opinion of Hibari's femininity. As he bought a curry bread from the cafeteria lady he felt briefly nostalgic for... something.

"Saotome!" a voice boomed out, "Join the rugby team! It's the sport of youth!"

Ranma turned to see a pair of very muscled guys in rugby uniforms posing dramatically as they continued to ramble about the wonders of rugby. Ranma really wasn't paying attention, and was turning away when a heavily built lad appeared and tried to talk him into joining the tennis club. Someone else appeared declaring he should join the judo club. Another guy yelled for the basketball club. Another about the golf club. Somebody else yelled about a nightclub.

Suddenly Hibari appeared between him and the crowd. With a desk, chair, and a roll of tickets.

"Calm down, one at a time," Hibari was saying, "Rushing him all at once will just cause confusion. Everyone take a ticket. 2,000 yen a pop.'

"2,000!?" someone called out.

"He's the greatest martial artist of our generation. That's a steal! Handsome too!" Hibari countered.

Ranma found himself flustered by the attention and yanked Hibari away from the crowd her were pulling out their wallets. Dragging the disappointed blonde by the wrist Ranma eventually found an abandoned bit of hallway on the third floor. Ranma fumed silently for a few moments in search of words, so Hibari spoke up.

"Our school is really big on clubs and such."

Ranma continued to fume for a few more moments, gathering his thoughts.

"Why?" he asked suddenly.

"I don't really know," Hibari shrugged. "Honestly half the clubs don't even do competitions. Not sure the boxing club has ever gone to a tournament."

"No, not that," Ranma seethed, before leaning in and dropping to a whisper. "Why do you act like a girl and go to school as a girl, and just... all of that?"

"Because..." Hibari paused and sighed, "Because I love you."

Almost anyone other than Ranma would have noticed the teasing cheekiness in Hibari's voice, but Ranma never was the best at reading emotions. He'd effectively given up an ability to read emotional cues for an uncanny ability to read combat cues instead. Adding in his own confused emotions regarding Hibari and Ranma's face turned as red as his shirt. (He also didn't clue in that the explanation didn't cover the extensive history of the behaviour he'd been told of.)

"Stop with all that!" the black haired boy yelled, "I ain't interested! Just 'cause your dad's kinda crazy and bitter don't mean I have any intention of goin' through with the engagement or anything. It's just wrong! Not happenin'! I... I wouldn't!"

Ranma sputtered, trying to collected his thoughts, and found himself raising an accusative pointed finger, "You ain't my type! I don't go... don't swing that way! Regardless of my own condition!"

After shouting that last bit Ranma was suddenly aware the hallway had become rather less abandoned than when the conversation started, and whispered rumours were already swirling. A pair of school girls were jumping to what was the obvious conclusion. They sounded very disappointed. A few boys were whispering about it being a shame for Hibari to be 'stuck with a pervert like that', before one of them smiled and pointed out it meant that Hibari was basically single then. Shiina, who had been coming to give a proper test of Ranma's abilities (and a bit of vengeance) was rendered even more outraged by what he heard.

"I don't know what's worse," Shiina fumed, "That you've somehow wormed your way into Hibari-chan's heart, or that you apparently don't want her."

Ranma smiled. This seemed like the start of a physical fight, and those were much more his style than words.

"What's with the smile weirdo?" Shiina shot as he shifted into a boxing stance, "Ya want to get beat up?"

"I'll be amazed if you can hit me," Ranma laughed.

Shiina lunged at the pigtailed boy furiously, but his jab hit only air as Ranma swerved. A flurry of punches later and Ranma had avoided all of them, smirking the whole time. Ranma noted that by what he could assume to be normal standards of high school boxers this Shiina guy wasn't bad, but still had a long way before he could challenge Ranma. The commotion caused a crowd to start to form. Cheering and oohing followed each punch and dodge, though along with the growing crowd the rumours about Ranma's sexuality also spread through the crowd.

Not wanting to hear any more of that particular topic Ranma decided to taunt Shiina by sticking his tongue out before calmly stating: "You know, we really should take this outside."

Ranma thumbed to an open window before scurrying over and hopping out, cockily declaring: "Follow me if you're brave enough."

"Don't run away!" Shiina shouted as he leapt to follow.

The crowd rushed to the window, Hibari included.

"This is the third floor!"

"Those maniacs!"

"Lucky them, they'll land in the pool!"

Ranma's brain processed that particular fact about the same time as someone shouted it and found himself ... yelling. Not screaming. Screaming wasn't very manly, and Saotome Ranma was a man among men after all. At least he was until he hit the water.