Chapter 6: A Kiss is a Problem
Flying through the air, Ranma once again found himself have to bend and twist to avoid the stone bridge that crossed the Oozora koi pond. One of these days he was certain he'd hit it, but luckily this time there was just a splash. Angrily the instant redhead charged out to return to sparring with his father, now set on ensuring the man ended the fight as a panda. After a few more minutes he succeeded, just as Tsugumi announced lunch was ready. Ranma bounded off his father's furry head to take a more direct route to food, and sat himself in his normal spot between Ibari and Hibari. Genma arrived soon after, and both were provided some kettle water by Tsugumi, before they began their usual food sparring.
"I was thinking of going to the record store today," Hibari announced, "There's a new album from The Cure out I want to get. Probably one or two others I'd like to grab."
The Oozora father nodded absently, while Tsugumi had a realisation.
"Ranma," she said, "You don't have any records do you? I don't remember seeing any in your room."
"Huh?" Ranma managed between mouthfuls, "Never really bothered much with music. I've got trainin' to do and such."
"Spending too long listening to music makes you soft," Genma grumbled, shooting a nasty look at Hibari.
"Nonsense," the blonde countered, "Music is great for working out. A good beat helps keep you motivated. That's why gyms and fitness shows are always playing music."
"Don't forget movie training montages," Tsubame added, "Rocky for instance."
Ranma nodded and thought it over, "Suppose it can't do any real harm. Can probably set a pace to music to practice speed trainin'."
"You should go with Hibari then, my boy," Ibari smiled, "Remember to keep him from doing anything too feminine while you're out."
The small redhead was still dripping from the window cleaning bucket that had dropped on him. The angry yelling had only done so much to sooth his nerves. Hibari's continued chuckling wasn't helping matters. The water magnet skills were always amusing.
"Hey, are you girls alone?" a man asked.
"Where are you headed?" his friend continued.
"It's pretty hot today, do you girls wanna go somewhere nice and cool with us?" the first one added.
Hibari smiled. "It is pretty hot. I could really go for some ice cream. How about you, Ranma?"
Ranma heard the word 'ice cream' and began nodding reflexively. The men smiled and lead the two over to a nearby ice cream truck, buying everyone double scoop ice cream cones.
"Thanks," Hibari replied. "Well, bye! We've gotta go."
The men stared in shock, one of them losing a scoop from his ice cream. Ranma was impressed by the efficiency of the scam. He'd have to remember it in future, in case he encountered grouchy vendors who wouldn't give free food. Enjoying their ice cream he and Hibari walked off. The men the scurried up to the two of them.
"Woah, hey," the one said, "What's the big idea."
The other placed a hand on Ranma's shoulder, "Don't you think your friend is a little rude?"
Ranma glared at the man, "Don't you touch me pal!"
"Yeah, back off!" Hibari joined in, "Honestly, harassing two young girls on the street! How brazen! Even grabbing one of us!"
The men stumbled back in confused shock, and the two teens with distinctive hair colours marched down the street. A number of passerbys gave the men dirty looks. Ranma was happy for the ice cream, but felt worried how much he and Hibari had been in sync. The two walked along towards the record store in relative silence. They'd been sent together in Ibari's eternal hope that Ranma's manliness would rub off on Hibari but it clearly wasn't going well, judging by the adorable expression of the redhead's face as he was finishing off his ice cream.
Once in the record store they encountered the sudden issue of Ranma having no idea where to start.
"What's 'metal' music?" Ranma asked. "Is that like... steel drums and stuff?"
Hibari began to formulate a reply, before realising that explaining every genre would take a very long time, and had a better idea, "I'll go ask the clerk if he can run us through a few samples. Give you the basics, then advise you from there."
Ranma nodded and followed her, trying to understand what a 45 was, let alone a 33 1⁄3 . However, when they got to the front desk their plan was interrupted by the wall behind the till collapsing. Standing before them was a girl in traditional Chinese garb, carrying two colourful chui, with long electric indigo hair. The girl turned to Ranma, red eyes glowing with hatred.
"Ranma! Kill!"
Ranma's eyes grew massive in terror and, without thinking, he grabbed Hibari by the hand and fled out the front door of the store (realising the record store had nowhere to hide and no room to fight). Shampoo was hot on their tale as they fled down the street. Ducking into an alley, Ranma scooped up Hibari and lept wall to wall until they were running on rooftops. Shampoo scrambled up with similar agility.
"Darn it!" Ranma seethed, "That girl is one person I just can't deal with."
"Why is she chasing you?" Hibari asked, clinging to Ranma's smaller figure nervously (wondering how much the effort of carrying someone taller was slowing him down).
"Heh. Pops and I kinda ate her championship feast. It was just after Jusenkyo, so he was a panda, while I was in girl form. I ended up challenging her since pops couldn't. I was figurin' if I won then it'd be my feast. I'm willing to admit she was pretty tired after fighting in a tournament all day, but the fight didn't last long. I won, of course."
Ranma huffed as they dropped to a quiet side street, and he set Hibari down, who then began running alongside him. Shampoo was still in hot pursuit, but Ranma felt at least here there'd be fewer bystanders at risk. Catching his breath a bit it was a little while before Ranma continued.
"So, after knocking her down I felt kind of guilty. I don't like hitting girls and all," he huffed. "So I went over to help her out, trying to be a good sportsman. Instead of taking my hand to help stand up she yanked me down and kissed my cheek."
"Oh, so she swings that way," Hibari replied. "Then you dumped her and now she'll want to kill me for being your new girlfriend, right?"
"What!? No!" Ranma replied as he shook his head. "Why do ya always have to leap to the pervert options."
"There's nothing perverted about it. A girl can like girls. Just how some people are."
Ranma rolled his eyes (which, apart from his chest, might be the only part of him that got bigger when he transformed). "Anyway, it wasn't like that. The kiss was the Kiss of Death. If an outsider defeats someone in her tribe they've gotta give it and then hunt down whoever beat 'em."
As if to hammer the point home, Shampoo had managed to get close enough to launch a leaping strike which nearly caught Ranma off guard. The indigo haired girl was also now in front of the other two, inertia nearly driving them into her.
"Ranma! Shampoo kill!"
"Killer shampoo?" Hibari managed to mutter. "Hopefully the conditioner sorts that out."
The two martial artists ignored the yakuza heir and were quickly engaged in combat. Well, Shampoo was attacking, while Ranma was dodging and running around in circles, looking around for somewhere to hide. He caught sight of a loose awning, leapt up to grab it, and then tossed it onto Shampoo.
While Shampoo was tangled up for a moment Ranma grabbed Hibari's arm, and fled into the bath house he'd been trying to get to the whole pursuit. Unthinkingly the busty redhead dragged the beautiful Hibari into the men's section, both of them acquiring a large number of stares while Ranma leapt into the warm water of the soaking area, emerging his usual black haired and masculine self.
"Hey, where'd the redhead go?" a man asked, sounding disappointed.
"At least the cute blonde stuck around," a middle aged man leered.
Hibari was about to give him an earful when a wall nearby collapsed and Shampoo marched in. A rather foolish man in his 30s gave her a wolf whistle, and found himself knocked unconscious by a chui in the blink of an eye. The indigo haired girl then muscled her way up to Hibari, who glanced nervously at Ranma.
"You!" Shampoo shouted, a chui levelled at Hibari. "Where is Ranma?"
"Pardon?" Hibari asked, glancing at the pig-tailed boy confused.
"You hide Ranma? If you hid Ranma then Shampoo kill too!"
She then turned to Ranma, noticing that he wore the same clothes as the 'girl' she'd been chasing. That raised an eyebrow on her. Reaching a hand out she felt his chest.
"Man," Shampoo stated, disappointed.
"S-sorry to disappoint," he stammered.
She then turned back to Hibari. "Where Ranma? No hide!"
Hibari was obviously too slow in responding as the warrior girl lunged at Hibari with her chui, striking the tile wall as the blonde barely dove out of the way. Further strikes followed, as Hibari was terrified to strike back and face the Kiss of Death too. When an errant blow nearly knocked out another bather (a surprising number having stuck around to see the two beautiful women fighting), Ranma found himself unable to stand by any longer, and slid in (he'd held back out curiosity on how well Hibari would do). A swift kick knocked one of Shampoo's clubs from her hand and it flew into the air. She lunged angrily at Ranma with the other, having not properly traced the trajectory of the first one as it landed on her head with a thud. The girl was out could, and Ranma saw it as a golden opportunity to flee, dragging Hibari by the arm.
The two teens collapsed with relief when they finally made it to the Oozora home's genkan.
"I think-I think we lost her," Ranma sighed.
"Too bad you had to beat her as a guy too. Now she'll want to kill you however you see her next," Hibari replied, panting.
"Don't remind me."