Chapter 8
Everything was perfect. Together, we were greater than the sum of our parts. Something so magical, I couldn't believe it existed.
It was like a dream. But dreams were dreams, they had to end someday.
August 23rd,
"Thanks guys…" Basil sniffled.
We were holding a farewell party for Basil. He was going away soon, so everyone got together to say goodbye in one last get-together.
I tried my best to send him off, but…
A part of me still couldn't accept it.
Basil had to leave Faraway to stay with his grandma so she could be treated in a fancy hospital.
He had a choice between leaving and staying with us. And he chose the to leave.
It's… probably for the best. I'd never be able to look him in the eyes if he stayed, and his grandmother passed while he wasn't there for her.
But deep in my heart, some part I could never let show wished he would've stayed. I'll miss him too much.
I couldn't help but sigh, this morning I even promised myself that during this farewell, I would stay strong and support his decision. I wouldn't cry either. I didn't want to see Basil off with tears, but with a smile and eagerness for when he returns someday.
Someday.
It's going to be a while.
It's going to be harder than it sounds.
The thought of it made me tear up a little, but I didn't cry. I caught myself and reeled my tears back in.
That was close.
Though this kinda seemed familiar. Ugh, I'm getting the worst sense of dejavu. Wasn't this… wasn't this a lot like how we first met? It was, wasn't it?
I was just 8 years old and I met Basil.
Basil was one of my only friends before I met everyone else.
All the kids in the park were screaming and laughing as they played with each other.
All except for me. I just watched them far away, holding my stuffed toy, on a bench.
I kicked a rock. It didn't go very far and bounced back towards me. I pressed my hands to my face.
All those other kids were playing together with their dart guns and I couldn't join in because I didn't rbing one.
I kicked another rock.
My house didn't really have the money for a toy like that. All I had was Mr. Plantegg, and don't get me wrong, he's great! He's the best stuffed eggplant-person a girl could ask for! But everybody else doesn't react the same way whenever I introduce him at school.
What's so good about a dart gun anyway! Can you hug a gun?! I don't think so, well, not in a fun way at least! Mr. Plantegg has a round(?) face that's the perfect shape for you to snuggle your face into! Maybe if I chuck Mr. Plantegg super hard at someone, everyone will understand how he was not only a great stuffed vegetable, but also a fantastic projectile!
Just as I was planning on nailing the closest kid with stuffed vegetable justice, the bushes behind me ruffled with noise!
"Hmmm, there has to be one around here somewhere…" a high-pitched voice came from the bush.
I jumped away from the strange rustling.
It's alive! It's looking for something! Dad warned me about weird people looking for things in bushes at the park!
I got ready to run, but… all the other kids didn't know the weirdo was here right now.
If I… if I stop the fishy person right now, I'll be a hero! The other kids will want to play with me then… right?
Change of plans.
The strongest defense is a strong offense! Okay Aubrey, time to be a hero!
I lifted Mr. Plantegg high up and readied myself to whack the weirdo til' he fainted.
I stepped into the bushes and attacked!
"RAGH!"
"Waa!" The weirdo brought up their tiny hands to protect their face.
Tiny? That's not a weirdo trait. I stopped my swing half-way so my target only suffered a small tap. Let's take a closer look at who I was about to devastate with Mr. Plantegg.
He had blonde hair the same shade of caramel and blue eyes that looked like blueberry lollipops. They were a kid my age!
"You're not a weirdo." I stated the obvious. Unless…
"Oh! Hi?" He tilted his head "Um, thank you for the compliment?"
"So, who are you?" I need more information.
"B-basil." He looked down to the ground. He wouldn't look me in the eye, is he hiding something?
"Basil? Like the plant?"
"Mh-hm." He nodded.
"Why were you crawling around in the bushes?"
"Uhm, uh, uh, uh" Basil babbled as he looked away and started twiddling his thumbs.
"You were shuffling around in a bush, that's fishy. Maybe you are a weirdo…" There could be small weirdos that roam around bushes…
"I'm not!" That would be exactly what a weirdo would say!
"." I lifted Mr. Plantegg between us to create a barrier. He would protect me from this strange person.
"Um, I like your doll." Huh?
"You don't think he's weird?" Hope blossomed in my chest. Could it be?
"No! That's an eggplant right? Eggplants are cute." He understands! Oh thank the world, I finally met someone who understands the greatness and beauty of Mr. Plantegg.
Anyone who likes Mr. Plantegg can't possibly be weird!
Oh no! I still haven't introduced myself to my new favorite person yet!
"He is, isn't he! I'm Aubrey and this is Mr. Plantegg!"
"Hi Mr. Plantegg." Waved Basil. That sealed it.
"Would you like to be my friend!?"
"Yes!" His eyes sparkled.
"C'mon then! Take a seat!" I sat on the bench and patted the spot to my left.
"Thank you." He ran towards me and plopped down quickly.
Woo! I made a friend today! Today is a great day! The sun seemed to shine brighter and the sky looked a beautiful shade of blue. Even the air smelled fresher.
"I was looking for flowers." said Basil.
"Hwuh?"
"What I was doing in that bush. I was looking for flowers."
"Flowers? Do the bushes in the park even have flowers?" I know that some bushes are filled with flowers in Spring, but, I looked behind me, those bushes are just the green, plain, flowerless variety.
"I think they do! I read that sometimes people drop their flowers in the park bushes."
"Why would people do that? And why a bush?"
"I don't know." Basil ruffled his hair. "The book wasn't very clear on that."
"You read?" I never met a kid that liked to read before. I couldn't call myself a big fan of reading either. Just sitting around in my house for so long seemed so boring.
"Yeah, I read a lot!"
"I don't really read so I don't get it. What's so fun about reading?"
"Well, reading is fun to me because," Basil crossed his hands over his chest. "I learn about all sorts of things they write about in books. Like the flowers lost in bushes. I thought it's just too sad if flowers are left behind, so I kinda hoped that I could take them back home." Wow. That's so nice.
"That's really sweet Basil." I started patting Basil on his blonde hair. He deserves it. "I'll help!"
"You will? Let's look over there then!" He pointed to some bushes further off. We spent the rest of the day looking for flowers as friends. We found a bunch of normal ones, we never found one in a bush.
From then on, I went to Basil's house to come and play, though he didn't really like going outside that much. It was fun to look at all the flowers he and his grandma raised but I wanted to run and play tag or some other game instead of sitting inside.
I never met his parents either. They were never around, and even I have Dad. But his grandma is nice, she gives me some flowers every now and then!
But I could never convince him to go outside that much.
There's a plus side though! Basil is pretty great at brushing and braiding hair. Whenever I visit, I walk back with the most adorable braid over my shoulder.
Future plan! Let's find something that will make him want to leave his house more. I'll do it! I swear on the sun high in the sky, Basil will go outside more!
As I finished reminiscing on my childhood memories, a terrible revelation struck me.
WHAT THE HELL WAS BASIL READING!? How did he get his hands on that kind of stuff when he was only eight years old!?
The innocent, pristine image of Basil from my childhood days shattered into a pile of stained glass.
I looked over to him, new horrific revelations in mind, and how he went over to Sunny to talk. I watched his face light up, grow sad, and go through the entire range of emotions, and I couldn't help but chuckle.
Questionable reading choices aside, he's still Basil, and he's still one of my closest friends. Even if he's going away.
Because after this, I'm not going to see much of Basil ever again.
He'll visit sure, but there'll be that strange invisible weight that would change th87 e relationship we had now.
I swore to myself that I would stay strong and that I could get through this farewell without breaking, but I couldn't help feeling lonely.
But… it's going to be so much harder for him than it is for us. I mean, I still have everyone else, but Basil's everyone else will completely change.
When Basil goes to his new school, he's going to be all alone again. I still remember what it's like to be lonely, and he should too. We were both peas in a pod in the past, yet here he is, keeping up a brave face for the rest of us. He must be terrified about having to be all alone again, and when I think of it happening to Basil again, I teared up.
I hugged Basil. And let go.
"Aubrey?"
"Stay strong. You can handle whatever comes your way. I know it."
"Thanks." And Basil hugged back.
And said goodbye.
August 27th
My eyes kept wandering around Mari's room. Well it was Sunny's too, but tomorrow, she wouldn't be around anymore.
All the more reason to take in the place while I can. I took a seat onto Mari's bed, and m an, the mattress felt so soft. But once I got my head out from how comfortable the
The most noticeable thing in the room has got to be the computer. Mari made it seem like a big deal, but for all the things she told us about it, it just seemed boring. It's just a slow box that can play cards and that you could read off of. It won't ever replace the TV.
I leaned back onto my arms and took a wider look at the room. I couldn't help but laugh a little, you could tell which side is Sunny's and which side is Mari's just by looking how messy each side is.
I couldn't shame Sunny about that though. My room is just as messy, maybe even more, but that's thanks to Bun-Bun kicking all her grass around the room. It's really hard to clean when that stuff gets between the floorboards.
Maybe I should learn how to clean up better for the future.
Hero was baking stuff downstairs so we all went up to Mari's room to see it for the last time.
Kel snooped around the room for any hidden secret treasures. Sunny watched him like a hawk and he kept flinching whenever Kel moved in a certain direction. There must be something he doesn't want Kel to find.
I'm sort of curious too, but Sunny deserves his privacy. My eyes wandered at a few hiding spots though. That basket looked suspicious.
Though I could've sworn he looked my way a few times. No. No. That's just you being too self-conscious. I turned to the empty wall and shook my head. Get your head back on Aubrey, don't make things weird.
Boxes and boxes of Mari's things filled up the room. They all contained everything Mari needed for college and they were marked with scotch tape labeling the fun things inside them. Like stationary, or lamps. Intense college stuff.
Mari cleared her throat and everyone's eyes snapped to her.
"I'm going to miss this room." Mari said as she put her hands on her hips. "Especially going to miss my bed. The one I have at my dorm isn't nearly as nice as the one right here. My matress is soft, and my covers were so comfy, they feel doubly nice when you have someone warm to hug on it."
"You hug someone in bed? Who?" I asked.
Well, I sort of knew already. It's gotta be Hero, but I want to hear Mari say it!
"Uhhh…" Mari drawled off… and her eyes wandered.
And they eventually landed on Sunny.
I took a moment to process that.
No way. My head whipped between the two of them and Sunny saw that.
And he understood what I was implying.
"No I don't!" said Sunny. But with his face red as a tomato.
That only made it sound more like the truth!
That amazing truth!
Sunny sleeps in the same bed as his sister!
My surprise was immense and Sunny curled up into a ball in embarrassment. But my surprise was overwritten by another sudden emotion hit me like a train.
Jealousy!
That's right! I'm jealous! I want to sleep with Mari! Why did I choose to sleep on the couch downstairs in our sleepovers! I could've cuddled with Mari for all those years! Dammit past Aubrey! What were you doing!
"Food's done!" called Hero.
Kel's ears perked up and he bolted out the door and sprinted down the stairs.
Mari followed suit.
I jumped off the bed and checked behind me. Sunny still kept himself curled up.
"You coming Sunny?"
"Later."
Well, I can't blame him. I'm plenty jealous, but I do understand how it could be embarrassing. I'd jump out the window if I felt like he did, so he's stronger than me for staying around.
Either way, I need to go down before the cookies get cold!
I went into the kitchen and saw a panther leap onto their unsuspecting prey. The poor deer was completely unprepared for the 65 inch predator that caught themselves their greatest catch.
Hero almost fell as he caught Mari.
It looked so rehearsed though because Hero caught Mari and they began to spin. They spun around and Hero finally got Mari off of him. It looked so adorable.
Mari giggled with a million gigawatt smile all the same.
When Hero told everyone that he was going to the same college as her, she literally erupted in joy.
Her enthusiasm hadn't decreased a bit since.
I wonder what changed for Hero? Everyone knew how strict his parents were about going to a college for doctors, but I'm pretty sure the college Mari Is going to doesn't have a cooking school nor were they good for doctors.
Maybe he did it all for love?
My brain kicked into full throttle.
My fantasies went into overdrive. All sorts of romantic situations the two would get into during college overwhelmed my brain.
I wish I could be there to see it.
My cheeks started to hurt from smiling from watching the two.
I'm just happy he's choosing to stay together with Mari! I'll cheer them on for the rest of their lives!
Eventually, Hero broke out of their lovey-dovey stupor and piled up all the cookies from the baking pan onto a plate.
He made a cookie mountain.
"It's the last batch, so I made as many as I could." He gave us shis signature Hero smile, "Eat up!"
The last batch of chocolate chip cookies, huh.
I grabbed a plate on the kitchen counter and pushed down the melancholy. If my negative feelings affected the cookies, I couldn't ever forgive myself.
A part of me said to take as many as possible, but I shushed that down immediately. That'd be rude. It's the final batch of Hero's cookies so everyone should get their fair share. Of course, Kel did not care, or did not think, probably the latter, that it was everyone's last batch of Hero cookies and began to scarf them down like the cookie monster.
I could hear a insufferable om-nom-nom as he gobbled down the cookies.
"Stop eating so many Kel! Leave some for everyone else!"
"But they're sooo good!" Kel said. Or at least that's why it sounded like he tried to say. I could barely make out a word with his face stuffed full of cookie.
The rate of cookie loss grew to unacceptable levels, so I did what anyone did when an important resource grew to scarce levels.
I stockpiled.
A small mound of cookies formed on my plate.
Kel noticed, but he couldn't do the same because he put the cookies from the pan directly into his mouth.
That's right, you don't have a plate, you caveman!
"Hey! You're taking more cookies than I am!" he said while spitting out crumbs.
"I'm saving these for Sunny!" I even look like I have better manners when I did so! But Kel does not care for manners, so I needed some defence for my stockpile.
I put up my cookie guard. My arms wrapped around my cookie plate and I pulled it closer to me and Kel eyed up my fortress for any weaknesses.
"Jeez, you two, you don't need to fight." Said Hero.
Hero doesn't get it. It's really one of his only weaknesses. He doesn't undervalues himself and the things he does. But, these cookies are a treasure. If I sold these cookies, I'd be a millionaire, but I won't. It's a cookie eat cookie world out there, and the queen eats baked treats.
"These are our last cookies for a while." I explained.
"I'm just hungry." Kel gave a Kel answer.
"You don't have to fight." Hero sighed and went back to the oven, "I made more." And he brought out another tray of cookies.
And so a peace summit had been established. Now I had could enjoy my cookies in peace.
Until a destabilizing force appeared. In a perfect surgical strike, Mari snatched the plate from Hero's hands and scampered off with it out of the kitchen.
Kel's grubby hands came close to my plate and I swatted them away.
War has come again.
The hours ticked by too fast. The days in Summer are supposed to last longer, so can't I just have a little more time? C'mon Sun! You can hang in there for a few moments more, can't you?!
But the sun had set, and Sunny's Dad in a dinky red car and he honked the horn.
It's time for Mari and Hero to go.
Mari's dad got out and began to load up all their luggage. Each box, a part of her going somewhere far away.
There's nothing else to do.
I told myself that I could see her in six months. It's a conveinent lie that made me feel safer, but there's no time left.
So I stopped stalling, and walked up to Mari for our last conversation for a long time.
I gave Mari my present.
"Here Mari." I put a pink pinwheel in her hands. "I wanted to give this to you before you went away."
It's a pinwheel that had the same design as the one she gave me when I first met everyone.
She was having bad day.
Her right shoe fell off while she was crossing the street. She wanted to go back for it, but before she could, a car drove by and ran over her shoe. It got dragged around the cragged pavement and it ended as a rag.
She really loved those shoes. Her mom and dad went together with me to the shoe store and let her pick it out. They were cheap, but she loved that pair. They very rarely ever went out as a whole family. It became a symbol of a precious memory.
She wore that pair everyday, no matter the occasion. In retrospect, using them that frequently meant they were bound to break apart sooner than later.
But it happened.
To some, it wasn't as big a deal, but well, the girl was young, and she cherished them, so it broke her heart. The loss of something she so wholeheartedly cherished. As she picked up the rag that was once her shoe, she dragged its So she just sat there in a daze on the sidewalk while small rocks dug into her socks. The pain just reminded her that it wasn't a dream.
As the reality of the situation set in, she couldn't help but cry. At least she managed to cry silently.
Then, her life changed.
An older girl and her friends walked down the sidewalk and noticed a small figure hunched over. As they got closer, they saw the tears run amok on the girl. They didn't have to check up on her but the older girl went up to her without a second thought.
The older girl gave her a toy to cheer her up. A pink pinwheel. She didn't want it. It could never replace what she had lost.
She wouldn't stop weeping, and with that small speck of pity, everything that had happened to her became too much to bear. So, she began to sob instead.
She expected the older girl and her friends to leave her alone, to ditch the ungrateful girl who refused their kindness and just wanted to be miserable.
But they stayed.
As her tears flowed, she spoke of all the little things that wore on her heart.
The loss of her treasured shoe, how alone she sometimes felt, the ways she felt fundamentally different from other kids, to the small annoyances in her day. Though with the way her tears and other fluids were spilling out, she wasn't speaking very clearly.
The sun slowly fell into the horizon as she spoke. Her complaints and tears slowed as well. And yet the group still sat around her.
Then the older girl hugged her. The hug felt warm and soothed all the welts and barbs she endured throughout the days.
The older girl told her not to worry because she wouldn't have to be alone anymore.
The girl looked up from her tears and saw their faces.
The gentle older girl who fixed her hair.
The smiling oldest boy who rubbed her head.
The tanned boy with a chipped tooth who pat her on her back.
And the quiet youngest boy who listened.
They all smiled at her in their own awkward ways, but it looked so bright to her.
And with that, she lost all energy in her body. Her eyes felt heavy and her limbs felt sore. But, she managed to get out two last words before she fell asleep.
Thank you.
They even gave her a piggy-back ride.
It's not like that was my most favorite memory of everyone, the birthdays and holidays and outings all held places in my heart more special than our first meeting, but it felt the most significant.
A pink pinwheel and a promise, completely changed my world.
If it wasn't before, it probably solidified pink as my all-time favorite color.
After that, I found new friends that I spent so many unforgettable days with.
Heck, I even brought in Basil into the fold and he found his own place there too with Sunny.
But things changed, or to more accurately say, time goes on.
I know it's a ridiculous wish that couldn't come true, but I wanted everyone to stay together forever.
I said goodbye to Basil last week, so my dream was already gone.
Even though I know we'll see each other again, I'm scared. When we all meet again, will things stay the same? Will we change?
It's kind of rude to Hero, but I'm going to miss Mari the most. I never really got to have a girl friend, and Mari is one of the best! Her style is great and she could always fix any problem that came her way.
First Basil, and now Mari and Hero are going too.
"I know it's sad, but we had to go someday."
"So let's have one last hug then."
Kel didn't hesitate and jumped straight into Hero's arms, Sunny jumped into Mari's.
Eventually Kel let go of Hero. He went straight to Mari next.
With Hero free, I gave my last hug to him as well.
Always reliable Hero. He always tried to be the mature one out of our group, but that just made all the times where he stumbled in situations all the more funny and endearing.
He never chose anything for himself, rather, he gave as much as he could to others, and it's a beautiful trait, but as his friend, I'm so happy he's doing something selfish for his dream.
He can do it though. Hero can do anything he set his mind to.
I let go.
My hug took longer than I expected. By the time I let go of Hero and let Sunny have his hug, Mari's arms weren't hugging Kel and instead watching me. She gave me that wry smile of hers.
There's nothing to feel embarrassed about with! Being sentimental about saying goodbye to a friend is perfectly natural.
But Mari's smile has a way of stoking your shame.
I stretched out my arms and… didn't take a step forward. Huh?
Unlike my hug with Hero, I couldn't step forward. I froze in my tracks.
What's wrong with me?
Mari started walking towards me, and I took a step back.
Once this hug is over, it'll all be over and we'd see each other a lot less.
Things will change between us as college and time changes Mari. The bond we have right now… it won't stay the same.
I didn't want that!
The fear that I thought I put down deep in my heart resurged and gripped my body with an icy chill.
I was about to take another step back, but Mari scooped me up in her arms.
Right, beyond how much she loved to tease people, she had such a wonderful gentle side to her too.
The warmth of her hug felt so familiar and wonderful.
"I'll miss you Aubrey." Her smile looked so gentle.
"I'll miss you t-too." My words barely came out. My tears were in the way and I couldn't speak properly. Mari rubbed my back to soothe the aching in my chest.
We hugged for a few long minutes, and I could feel all the frost in my heart melt away.
I let go.
No matter what, Mari is going to be Mari, and college won't change that.
And looking at the way she's glomping Sunny once again, maybe college will help reign in her embarrassing tendencies.
Will we be fine without Hero and Mari? I don't need to know.
Let's just shove those problems for later, I needed to focus on this moment.
We had one more group hug at the end.
I watched the car drive the two of them away. And I felt like I had become that girl once more.
I sat on the sidewalk and cried.
At least, the girl sobbing on the sidewalk isn't sobbing alone anymore. Two other kids were by her side, and they had tears fall like her as they watched the people they love leave.
October 2nd,
286.
286.
286.
I whispered that number to myself while I kept made the same number with my fingers. They say it helps you memorize things, and well, I'd be screwed if I ever forgot it.
With how it changed everyday, it just made it even more of a pain to memorize. What am I even supposed to do with it all?
A particularly loud scream made me reflexively look across the lunchroom. It's just some dumb joke someone made and someone found it way too funny.
How stupid.
The sounds of the cafeteria were grating. The chatter and the murmurs made me lose focus on my memorization. I swear it's a lot more annoying today than any other day. Everyone, please shut up!
If I had a magic lamp, I'd wish for some kind of duct tape I could pull over everyone's mouth to get of this shrill laughter and the wild screaming to stop.
The seat across from me rattled. I looked up from my hands and saw Sunny carrying his lunch tray. He plopped himself in the seat across from me.
My annoyance for the entire school body bled away as I mentally prepared myself to chat with Sunny.
Yeah, let's shelve the depressing things for now, at the very least I have my friends right now. That's something good for once.
"He-*cough*-ey Sunny." Ugh, my voice hitched.
He nodded back.
"Sorry, my voice is kind of sore." It felt like it held an entire desert.
"Here." And then a cup of water plopped in front of me. An oasis.
Sunny… didn't drink out of this yet, did he?
Well, I guess I have no choice because it'd be rude to refuse a gift.
I downed the whole cup.
As it swashed down my throat, the cool water contrasted against how warm I was. Refreshing.
"Thanks." My voice came out a lot better. The dinky squeaks and coughs of a caterpillar have transformed into a chippy singing butterfly!
Aaand the conversation died right then and there.
It's been a month since everyone else moved away, and to say that we couldn't feel the effects of it, would be a lie the size of an ocean.
I could ask him about his lunch! But, uh, it's right in front of me. Some kind of chicken patty with melted cheese on the side. Supposedly.
I tried to say something, but decided against it. It's just another conversation that'll go nowhere.
I took a bite of my apple.
I couldn't count just how many times I tried to have a conversation about absolutely nothing.
Sunny never starts a conversation on his own, and well, I kind of burned through all the other things I can talk about. There's only so many times I can talk about the reality shows on TV. After listening to myself talk about it so much, they all sounded so similar, but that's okay, I'll still love them.
TV is bust. What else is there to talk about? Drama? I barely know any drama between our classmates and…
There's one thing though. I knew, there was one thing I could definitely talk about.
I stamped that thought down immediately. This is not the place for that. How many times do you have to remind yourself of that you idiot!
School is where you get away from all that other stuff, and where you spend happy times with your friends. Keep. Them. Separate. Aubrey.
So I said nothing. And we sat in silence as we ate lunch.
And then Kel came over, thank god. I could breathe easier now. At the very least, Kel never runs out of stupid topics for us to mess around with. Probably the best thing about him really.
He walked up to our table but didn't sit down. Weird.
Did he read something that said chairs are bad or something?
Now everyone that's still in Faraway is here! And I made myself sad by remembering everyone else now.
We are all eagerly counting the days Mari or Hero can come back to visit.
We're pretty lonely.
But despite everything, at least we still have whatever our group is now.
And then, Kel tried to ruin it.
"Hey guys, is it fine if I sit with the guys on the basketball team today?
What… what is he saying?
I looked at Kel. Maybe this is some kind of awful prank he's setting up again.
His face wasn't laughing. Kel would never be able to keep his face straight when pranking someone. So that meant…
He's not kidding?
He's trying to ditch us. Why? Does he not want to be around us anymore?
Even though we should be protecting hat we have left, he just left us the moment he saw greener pastures!
Why?
Why?!
A burning sensation filled my gut.
How could he leave us like this?
"You're ditching us!"
"No… I'm just eating lunch with them."
And then what? What next? It may just be today, but what happens once will happen again. And it'll slowly escalate until the bonds between us will have changed. In the end, we'll just be casual acquaintances that he hangs out with out of only obligation!
Everything will change!
We were supposed to stick together as the three of us!
If he leaves, then it'll just be the two of us.
A dark pit formed in my stomach.
There would be no reason for Sunny to stay with me when I can't even carry a conversation with him nowadays. He'll drop me too.
And then there would be one.
Just Aubrey who can't even keep her friends together.
All because Kel chose to leave us for some dumb jocks who throw balls.
Why? Why?!
"Why though!?" I had to ask.
"Because… they invited me? Like, I hang out with them cuz they play basketball with me."
Is that it!? Just basketball!? How is that more important than our friendship! Years of experiences, of birthday parties, of farewells and one month in, he throws it all away for some dumb sport.
So what, now that he plays basketball, he's too good for us?! That he doesn't want to associate with us anymore!
I glared at Kel.
"Oh wow, look at you. You play "basketball' now. So, you're too good for us then."
"What's wrong with you?!"
What's wrong with you, he says.
It's laughable.
"Nothing. It's you."
What is with him! Doesn't he get what he's doing! He's literally destroying this friendship! In what world is that okay for a person to do!
Kel's an idiot, but I never expected him to give up friendship for a dumb sport.
In what world does anyone think that's a good idea? What kind of person would you have to be to make that trade in a heartbeat.
Who could ever predict he could be this dumb. Leave it to an idiot to destroy something incredibly precious for a game.
A stupid and pointless game.
Can't he see that?
"What's wrong with me playing basketball? It's not like you care!"
Why should I care about it?
How could hours of chucking balls through hoops be more important than all our memories together. In comparison to all those years, basketball is meaningless.
"It's a stupid and pointless game!"
"I play basketball because I like it! I could even make the basketball team! What don't you get about that!"
And what will he accomplish from it?
I've seen Kel try so many things, but he's never stuck to a single one of them. So why is basketball the one thing that he's willing to sacrifice our bonds for.
He's going to give this up in a few months or so, but by then, every will be different.
"Yeah, sure, and you're going to be so successful doing that."
Kel tried to say all sorts of meaningless words to try and justify his decision.
I shot them down every time.
"Shut up! At least I have other friends!"
I completely stopped.
All I could hear was a buzzing noise.
The world slowly began to tumble around me.
I said something.
I had to leave school early that day.
My palms bled from my nails digging into their skin.
Everything's ruined.
One by one. They all go away. They won't stay. Not for me.
But I want them to. It's awful of me to wish for it. It's awful of me to want to hold them back.
But please, can't they just stay by me a little longer?
Please.
3 days ago,
This had to be some bad dream. I'm just dreaming.
Even though I knew it was going to happen, I couldn't see it coming. No. That's a lie. I just chose not to see it coming. I covered my eyes and pretended everything was okay.
He's leaving.
Down the ladder, he'll leave this faraway town and never come back.
I looked out the window and saw him stare back at the house. Like he was waiting for something.
I couldn't go down to see him. I didn't deserve it. Not after what I did to Dad.
Over the entire summer, and maybe even the entire year before that, their problems just got worse and worse. Fights about their habits. Fights about money. Fights about the things that had to be done. Fights about secrets. Fights about everything.
I shut my ears to it all.
I was scared, so for the entire summer, I went out. For the entire day. It didn't matter where I went, as long as it helped to distract myself from it. If no one had time, I just hung around the park.
Maybe, if I stayed home, I could've done something about it.
I should've done something about it.
Because I did nothing, I did something terrible.
They were fighting again. The quiet days were slowly being outnumbered by days of screaming. No matter how much I wanted to ignore it, I could hear everything from the thin walls. Thankfully, the static from the TV helped muzzle what they were saying.
Today was particularly bad. Usually, they fought until they tired each other out and then they go to bed. It was almost a routine. But they went off the script today. They were supposed to stop about an hour ago, but they were still fighting. Instead, Dad called me to come downstairs.
He never did that. He always went up to my room when he wanted to talk to me.
I must've misheard them. Maybe they were calling for someone whose name sounded a lot like mine.
They called me a second time. They were calling for me. But I didn't want to go. Dread built up in my heart because I understood this couldn't be anything good. I didn't move a step from my seat.
The static from the TV droned on as no third call came.
Instead, I heard the sounds of someone climbing my ladder and saw Dad poke his head out.
"Aubrey." I remember that tone, it's the same tone he used when he told me Bun-Bun went missing. Thankfully, she was only hidden in a hole behind the TV. "We need to ask you something."
'We'.
That's a new one.
My legs felt like lead as I climbed down the ladder.
I dragged my feet as I went into our kitchen/living room. My stomach churned and my heart leapt throughout it all.
Okay. Maybe they discovered something terrible that I did that I don't remember doing and they thought that they would have to both talk to me and get me to apologize for that thing I didn't remember doing.
I could live with that.
Dad would get stern when I did something he didn't really approve of. He got stern a lot, but he cares at least.
Mom did whatever.
I sat on one our kitchen table chairs and Dad cleared his throat.
"Aubrey." Dad looked straight at me. "Your mother and I have decided that we're going to divorce each other."
I'd been expecting that. Really.
It'd be hard to miss it with all the signs that pointed towards it. The long fights, the way they never smile in the same room, and the way how they lived seemed to completely clash with each other.
Really, it was so obvious.
So why did it sting so much?
"I want you to understand that this is in no way your fault. Your mother and I have changed too much," Or Mom has completely changed, "and it's going to be better for both of us if we went out separate ways."
"We've been going through the process for a while now. You're old enough to make decisions by yourself so…" Dad clammed up.
"What?"
"If you had to…" Dad took in a big breath, "Do you want to stay with me, or your mother? Your Mom will have the house here, and I'll be… I'll be moving away. Far from here."
Right. Of course. If they were divorcing, then they wouldn't be living together anymore.
Between the two of them, I'd choose Dad in a heartbeat.
But… that would mean that I would have to leave Faraway. Leave everyone else.
I'd leave them like Basil and Mari and Hero did. That'd make Sunny and Kel and the rest of the group feel the pain I felt when everyone else left.
And if I went away, when would be the next time I'd be able to see them all again?
Plane tickets cost money. How many times would I be able to come back to them? Will I miss the birthdays, the holidays, and all the celebrations with everyone if I left?
If I moved away, who knows when would be the next time we'd all be able to get together. Maybe everything will change when I'm not here, and we'll never all come together again.
I had to stay. I wanted to see everyone once again. To all meet up again and rekindle all our memories together.
I just had too many memories in Faraway.
I couldn't go.
"I…" Dad looked me in the eyes. The next few words hurt to say, "want to stay."
Dad looked down and clenched his fist. I hated the small narrow breaths was taking. I had never seen Dad look like that.
"oh…"
It was barely a whisper, an incredibly small voice. He didn't sound mad. He just look hurt.
I did that.
I was the one who made him like that.
He walked away from me and went into the bedroom.
That small sound was the last thing I heard from him before he left.
It's just me and Mom now.
Dad lived 9 states away.
Mom has the house and I'm still in Faraway.
I could barely remember the two of us even having a conversation.
Now that it was the two of us, it made the things I felt towards Mom all the more apparent.
Mari told me that I shouldn't hold grudges. She says people can subconsciously feel things like that, and in response, they tend to respond to negative feelings with more negative feelings. Is that why Mom could never bother?
If it was, I… need to put past all the things she's done over the years, and clear the slate.
Maybe the divorce would be good for her, Dad thought that, didn't he?
I have to give her a chance. She was better when I was young, so there must be some part of her that can do it.
"Aubrey." She didn't raise her voice, but it easily carried through the entire house.
I walked down and she gestured for me to take a seat. She remained standing, but she didn't look at me.
"I have to work." I looked at Mom's face.
"There's no time. I'm sorry." And she handed me a wad of cash.
"Use it to take care of yourself. I have a shift now." She opened and walked out the door.
"You don't need to get me anything for dinner." And she shut it.
The money didn't feel real in my hands. It's more than I had ever held in my life, but it felt dirty.
Is that it?
I'm sorry that I was such a terrible mother, so here's some money and do whatever you want now?
That's it?
This is who I chose Dad over. This thing who can't even fucking bother to take care of her child.
Just give her money like it's pet food and let the god damn goldfish take care of itself.
I counted the wad of bills in my hands.
All in tens and twenties.
If I threw it all out, how would she react? Would she get mad? Would she cry?
Or would she do nothing and let me starve?
I hated how much that last thought scared me.
310 dollars.