Chapter 11: Doctor, Doctor!

Hibari slid open the door between her and Ranma's room as the dawn light started to creep into their rooms. The pigtailed boy was fast asleep, and anything short of being tossed through a pane of glass probably wouldn't wake him, but Hibari still chose to be quiet, stifling the urge to giggle. If Ranma was going to be so dismissive of her femininity she was more than happy to poke fun with his masculinity. Hibari quietly opened the make up bag she'd brought with her and began applying the contents to Ranma.

'What colour eyeshadow? Hmm... I think a nice trendy violet would bring out his eyes. Oh, and if he gets splashed it would look nice with his red hair,' she mused internally.

Hibari giggled as she finished up the mascara (as best as was possible on someone who was asleep) before slinking back to her room to drop off the makeup bag and then down for breakfast. She plopped herself happily down at her usual seat for breakfast and waited.

Tsugumi raised an eyebrow at the mischievous smirk on Hibari's face, but decided to ignore it and finish preparing breakfast. She had long ago decided it was usually better not to ask. The rest of the Oozora family and Genma had gathered around to eat when Ranma finally stumbled into the room.

"What do you think you're doing boy!?" Genma bellowed as he lunged at Ranma.

"What are ya talking about?" Ranma asked as he dodged and blocked a number of blows.

"I'll not have my son galavanting around like that!" Genma hissed while unleashing a series of kicks.

Ranma leapt out of the way into the backyard and Genma gave chase. The two were quickly bounding into the air unleashing attacks with stunning speed.

"I don't know what you're goin' on about, but you're losin' this fight old man!" Ranma boasted as a roundhouse kick sent Genma flying into the koi pond.

Ranma turned to head for breakfast when the angry panda behind him splashed his back with an impressive burst of water. The soaking redhead glared at his father before continuing over to the table and plopping down to eat. He only got a few mouthfuls in before he realised everyone was still staring at him.

"What?"

"Ranma... have you looked in the mirror today?" Tsugumi asked.

"No? Why? I ain't a girl, I don't care about that sorta stuff."

Hibari burst into giggles, and Tsugumi couldn't resist joining in.

"You really really should go look," Tsubama declared.

Ranma grumbled, quickly finished his breakfast, and then hurried off to the bathroom. Sliding in front of the sink the reflection he saw was one of a young red-haired girl with stylish makeup. The violet eyeshadow was especially cute. The soaked hair and boys undershirt kind of ruined the look, but the makeup was still enough to make Ranma not recognise himself for a split second.

After the initial shock of finding his reflection cute (and not being sure how he felt about that) Ranma turned on the sink to scrub it off. The water came out scalding.

"Gyahh!" he shouted and began to blow on his fingers to cool them down.

Hibari appeared almost instantly (holding a blushing little piglet in her arms), concern on her face.

"I didn't think the makeup would upset you that much."

"The water! It's boiling!"

Hibari raised an eyebrow, but stuck her hand in to check. The piglet in her other hand started squirming, but couldn't escape.

"It's not scalding at all. Barely warm," Hibari replied as she removed her hand.

Ranma's reply was cut off when Hibari's drippinghand (not dried off at all from being under the tap) made contact with a desperately scrambling piglet in her arms. In an instant Hibari found herself holding a (very naked) Ryoga. The shift in weight caused both to tumble, Hibari landing on top of Ryoga.

"Uh," was all Hibari could manage as she lay splayed on top of the muscular lad.

"Heh, right. Was gonna tell you about Ryoga at some point," Ranma muttered. He then pointed to the sink. "Can we get back to the hot water issue?"

"You're a pig?" Hibari managed to say as she pulled herself away from a blushing Ryoga.

"Ranma knocked me into a Jusenkyo pool," Ryoga replied, while desperately trying to preserve some modesty with his hands (and frantically looking for a towel). "But I'm really human!"

"It was an accident. We went over this," Ranma grumbled while fussing with the taps (hoping to find a tolerable temperature).

"It's still what happened. You and that dumb panda of a father."

"So... you're happy as Suzume's pet?" Hibari asked. This was a strange thing to process.

"Erm... well, I... she's very kind. It's been a long time since I had somewhere with a roof to sleep as well. And... er... But I'm still a human. She just seemed so excited to have a pet I didn't want to upset her. Kids. Ya know?" Ryoga stammered.

Hibari nodded thoughtfully. Then her face went dark.

"You not doing anything 'ungentlemanly' are you?" Hibari asked with a slightly accusative tone.

"What!? NO! She's a kid! I'd never!" Ryoga replied, pure panic in his heart. He couldn't have Hibari thinking he was a pervert. "I'd only ever treat her like the little sister I never had!"

Hibari gave him a once over (which caused more blushing on both parties), but decided Ryoga was telling the truth.

"She had been bugging for a pet for a while," Hibari conceded. "So if you're no longer trying to kill Ranma then it seems fine. Plus you do make a very cute little piglet."

The mischievous wink Hibari gave firmly clinched it for Ryoga. This wasn't just about vengeance. A cute girl was willing to look past his curse. He was head over heels... now if only he wasn't naked.

"Hello! Scalding water issue here!" Ranma grumbled, having still not found a water temperature that could reverse his form without being too hot to touch.

"Ranma! Hibari! Hurry up! You'll be late for school!" Tsubame yelled from down the hall.

"We'll worry about the water later!" Hibari announced, grabbing Ranma by the wrist and leading him back to their bedrooms.

Ryoga decided the easiest path right now was a splash of cold water. Finding his clothes would be tricky. Easier to be a piglet.

A few rushed minutes later Ranma and Hibari were well on their way to Wakaba High. Hibari kept giggling when she noticed Ranma had clearly not washed the makeup off very well. The eyeshadow looked really nice. She was quite proud of her skills.

Suddenly a bicycle bell rang out behind them. The two teens turned to see Shampoo barrelling down the road towards them, the tiny old woman from the day before sitting calmly on the back of the bicycle.

The Amazons came to a screeching halt where Ranma and Hibari would have been standing if they hadn't dodged.

"Nihao! Ranma! Hibari! Àirén!" Shampoo announced, beaming.

"Sh-Shampoo!" Ranma stuttered.

"Hello sons-in-laws," Cologne said, "I see the Cat's Tongue has already taken affect."

"Cat's tongue?" Ranma and Hibari asked in near unison.

"Your whole body is now as sensitive to heat as a cat's tongue. Lukewarm water will be scalding, let alone water warm enough to reverse your form Ranma. If you want to be freed all you need to do is agree to marry Shampoo... both of you."

"Never! I ain't givin' in!" Ranma declared.

Suddenly Shampoo leaned in, her face getting into Ranma's personal space.

"Àirén wear makeup? It look good... but Shampoo thought Ranma manly fiancé?"

"It was Hibari's doing," Ranma grumbled.

The blonde in question however was busy glaring at Cologne.

"How could you!? Trapping him like that... it's cruel beyond words to force him to be what he isn't!" Hibari shouted at the elder.

"It's only temporary," Cologne replied with a shrug. "Once you both agree to the wedding he'll be free."

The ringing of the Wakaba school bell brought an end to the stand off, Hibari and Ranma having to scurry off to class, though Ranma shouted that he would get vengeance. Hibari had just glared.

The pair were severely late when they got to class, and found themselves stuck on bucket duty. Ranma was honestly glad to be away from the leering eyes of his classmates though. As the pair were standing bored in the hallway they were surprised to see Shui scrambling down the hall.

"Oh no! Shui is very late," the long haired boy grumbled before noticing the annoyed looking duo in the hall. "Oh no! Cologne get you..."

"Yeah, didn't even know until it was too late," Ranma grumbled.

"Shui have good news though!" the handsome Chinese boy declared. "Cologne have cure in restaurant. Hidden somewhere, but Shui will find it."

"I'd appreciate it pal... you should probably get in to class so the teacher can yell at ya for being late though."

The day had dragged out slowly. Ranma could barely pay attention as he tried to figure out a suitable vengeance to get on Cologne and Shampoo. Hibari actually seemed more upset about the whole thing than Ranma was (and helped him wash the makeup off as soon as she could). Shui had been hard at work trying to figure out where the 'Pheonix Pill' that would cure Ranma was hidden. Probably. The notes Ranma saw him furiously jotting down where in Chinese after all.

However before the school day would end there was one last hurdle. Gym Class. More specifically the changerooms.

"I can't use either of 'em, can I?" Ranma grumbled.

"Why Ranma no use girl's? Is girl now," Shui replied.

"Only physically," Ranma shot back. "It's wrong for a boy to use the girl's changeroom."

He glared briefly at Hibari who answered by rolling her eyes.

"Then why no use boy's?"

"Because they'd all be gawkin' at me," Ranma countered. "Which I ain't comfortable with."

"Try the nurse's office?" Hibari offered. "It's what I did for the first year of middle school, until I figured out how to change without giving myself away."

"That's an option? Huh... I'll give it a shot. I just hope they ain't gonna make me wear a girl's uniform. Those bloomer things don't look comfy."

"It's not that bad," Hibari replied.

Hibari's idea worked out and Ranma was able to change in the privacy of the nurse's office. He was also happy he got away with wearing a boy's gym uniform. Still got dragged into the girl's activities though. Also got a number of comments about needing to invest in a bra.

"I ain't a pervert, and it's perverted for a guy to wear a bra," Ranma protested.

"It's also perverted for a girl not to wear one," one of the girls countered. "Especially with a chest like that. The boys all certainly love the show."

Ranma was left without a counter for that, and sat down on the sidelines in confusion. As he tried to work out what the correct path was a stern girl with auburn hair slid up beside him.

"Speaking of boys vs girls, I've heard an interesting rumour lately," Kaori informed him.

"I ain't really the gossipin' type."

"This one involves you. Well, more Hibari. See, we were wondering why her father would go and engage the girl everyone says is the cutest Oozora to someone in your condition. Then we all realised something unusual. None of us have ever seen Hibari without a shirt. She's always so private. So, we really don't have proof that 'she' is a she..."

"Sh-she's just shy," Ranma stuttered.

"Pfft. Hibari? Shy? Mrs. 'centre of attention always'?" Kaori shot back, bitterness clear in her voice. "No... the question we're left with is: what if Hibari's actually a boy? And that's why you two are engaged? That you make a fine pair of weirdos."

"NO! That's not it!" Ranma shouted back, panic setting in. "Hibari's definitely a girl! 100%. No question!"

After shouting he wondered for a moment why he was being so protective of Hibari after being so insulting yesterday. Not wanting chaos at school was one thing. But this felt stronger. Was it suddenly being trapped a girl himself?

He then noticed half the class staring at him. Hibari was resting her face in her hand.

"Heh, that probably sounded odd out of context," Ranma said to those watching. "Kaori here was just worried if my condition might be conta-er, catchable. It ain't."

"Er, right... Remember," the gym teacher began, "Health exams are in two days. Be ready everyone! Now hit the showers!"

"Ooh, isn't that convenient," Kaori said as she laughed, "We'll know for sure about Hibari soon."

The Oozora home was a bit chaotic after Ranma and Hibari told them what Cologne had done. Suba and Seiji were sent out hunting for anyone who could help. Genma was pushing Ranma though the highest intensity workout the two had done in months. He was convinced city life was making the boy soft if Ranma let some old woman get the better of him. Ibari began quietly making wedding plans, now that Ranma might be stuck the 'correct' sex to marry Hibari. Tsubame was busy trying to talk him out of it (with occasional aid from Tsugumi when she wasn't busy in the kitchen). A small pig meanwhile was trying to come up with romantic date ideas and remained mostly oblivious to everything else.

The blonde herself was trying to figure out a solution to the physical exam coming up. Ranma had told her what Kaori was saying, which she knew meant she couldn't just skip like she'd planned. She was just starting to wonder if she needed to get Tsubame to fill in for her (the two sisters could pass for one another with the right makeup and wigs) when Suzume called her to the phone.

"Hello?" Hibari asked as she put the phone to her ear.

"Is Shui. Not yet find Pheonix Pill, but find some things maybe interesting for you. We meet after school tomorrow. Deal with medical thing. Can no say more when at restaurant. Old woman probably listening."

The phone went dead before Hibari could reply. Slightly confused she decided to head into the kitchen to offer Tsugumi help with dinner. Letting herself get lost in the joy of cooking (which always helped her feel more feminine, especially when near Tsugumi who radiated the stuff) Hibari decided that Shui had proven trustworthy so far, so she'd see how it went.

The household was wrapping up dinner when Seiji and Suba returned. Seiji was clearly excited and Suba looked cautiously optimistic.

"We've found a specialist in Nerima. Apparently he's one of the top moxibustion and acupuncture experts in the country," Suba informed them. "His office is usually closed by now, but he's making an exception."

"That's very kind of him," Tsugumi replied.

"He might be able to cure me?" Ranma asked.

"He said he's not certain without a direct examination," Suba replied.

"Well, what are we waitin' for? Let's go!" Ranma announced.

Hibari, Ranma, Seiji, and Suba hopped into one of the Oozora clan's cars. The drive was thankfully quite short, as Ranma was so bursting with energy he could barely sit still. The car pulled up to find a kind looking man in his late twenties waiting for them. His brown hair was tied in a short ponytail, and his round glasses just increased his gentle appearance. He was clearly a bit nervous to be doing business with yakuza despite efforts to appear calm.

"So, which one is Ranma?" he asked Suba.

The contrast between the round warm face of Tofu and sharp cool face of Suba was striking.

"The redhead," Suba replied.

Dr. Tofu nodded and led them towards an examination room. Ranma noticed the sound of the car engine as Seiji drive off.

"Hop up on this table. I'll want to do a full examination of your chi and aura, if that's alright?"

"Whatever helps me get fixed faster is good doc."

The exam involved a surprising number of pokes and prods in odd places, as well as the doctor pausing to think things over a number of times. After about ten minutes there was a particularly long pause.

"You've got more going on than just the cat's tongue, don't you?"

"Heh... yeah," Ranma replied nervously. "Ever heard a Jusenkyo?"

"It sounds vaguely familiar," Tofu replied, nodding before hurrying off to grab a large book. After flipping to what Ranma could only assume was the index Tofu spoke again. "Ah yes, the pools of sorrow. You were cursed?"

Ranma nodded. Dr. Tofu mumbled something before flipping through the book he had.

"Ah... OH! Now that explains why you're so worried about the cat's tongue," Tofu finally said after a few minutes of reading. "So... this is your cursed form then?"

"Yeah..."

"Hm.. That definitely explains why everything about your chi and aura is confusing. Yin and Yang both highly unstable... Unfortunately whoever placed the cat's tongue upon you was a true master so there's no getting out of it. There's a counter that would allow you to take a single hot bath, but we should save that for an emergency," Dr. Tofu explained, "I'm curious if I might be able to find another way to trigger the curse transformation. Due to the specifics of your curse certain materials known to throw off Yin-Yang balances might be able to set off a change."

The doctor quickly pulled out a number of books and buried himself in research, leaving Ranma sitting in awkward silence. After what felt like an eternity Tofu mumbled something as he put the book down, then started digging through various cabinets pulling out unidentifiable ingredients of traditional medicine. By this point Hibari had slunk in to check out what was going on.

Tofu handed Ranma some sort of dried out... well Ranma wasn't sure what it was. He felt like guessing it was part of a fish. Maybe? Then another item that likewise seemed to be a dried out bit of a creature. For some reason Ranma felt that one was lizard-y. Finally a rock of some sort was placed on his head.

"Do you feel anything?" Tofu asked.

"Strangely warm, and my throat feels kind of dry."

"Hmm, yes. I didn't think that would work, but it was easy and non-invasive. I'll try a little acupuncture. If that doesn't work though then there's not really anything else I can do. Other remedies serve to produce long term shifts, which could be dangerous as you've got a quite healthy balance all things considered."

Ranma soon found himself lying on his stomach with his shirt off as Tofu began the acupuncture process. Nearly an hour ticked past as he was poked and prodded, but apart from occasional surges or warmth, dryness, or the need to fidget there was no change. Tofu let out a defeated sigh as the clock hit 9pm.

"Unfortunately that's the last technique. Only the 'Tokyo Grandpa Point' can do anything, but it would only let you take one hot bath."

Ranma threw his shirt back on and grumbled while wandering into the waiting room.

Hibari and Tofu were left alone for a moment.

"I might be able to help you though," Tofu said quietly to the blonde.

"Pardon?" Hibari asked.

"It's no quick fix, but I have certain treatments that would eventually see your body better match your spirit."

Hibari looked at the doctor with terrified eyes. "Y-you could tell?"

"Not by looking at you, but the readings I was using on Ranma were rather focused on gender related energies. It left me open to pick up oddities in your own aura."

"I've looked into treatments," Hibari admitted while blushing. "But what Jusenkyo does seems so much more thorough. I think I can last until I find a way to get there I want kids..."

"I understand. Still, playing with curses is a risky business. They might not want a willing 'victim'," Tofu replied as he led them into the waiting area.

The two emerged to find Ranma waiting impatiently. Suba meanwhile was calmly reading a magazine.

"Seiji is on his way," Suba informed them. "We didn't want to leave the car out on what's really the edge of Oozora territory."

Ranma flopped into a chair and began flipping through magazines. He was quite disappointed to find most were fashion or cooking focused, but eventually found a copy of Weekly Shonen Sunday to read. Hibari found a different edition of the same to read (to Ranma's surprise).

The three guests read quietly for a few minutes while Dr. Tofu finished up some paperwork for the day. The calm was broken by the front door suddenly slamming open and as typhoon Suzume made landfall.

"Ranma-chan! Are you okay?" the little bluenette asked. "You were here so long, I got worried. I had to come see."

"I'm the same as I was," Ranma replied.

The grumpy youngest Oozora daughter turned to the doctor behind his desk.

"I thought you were going to help him?"

"I tried my best," Tofu told her with a gentle smile.

Suzume glared at him.

"I'm sorry my little sister is such a handful, but she's taken a liking to Ranma and worried about him," Tsugumi explained as she entered the room, carrying a tupperware container.

"Oh, don't worry," Dr. Tofu replied, "I've got a regular patient or two with just a much energy."

"Still, we've imposed on you quite a lot today.I thought I'd try to make up for it a bit," Tsugumi said as she handed the container she was holding over.

Dr. Tofu popped it open to find a fresh smelling banana loaf. Suddenly he seemed as nervous as he'd been when they'd first arrived. Maybe more so?

"Th-this is much too kind, there was no n-need Oozora-san," he stammered.

"Think nothing of it," Tsugumi replied with a bow. Her kind smile made Tofu seem to only grow more nervous.

Suba suddenly appeared beside her. "Well, yes. Thank you doctor. We should head off now. Don't want Suzume staying up too late on a school night. Right Tsugumi?"

"That's true," Tsugumi replied. "Good night doctor."

"Oh yes. Well, please r-return sometime. It's always lovely."

The group filed out of the office in mixed spirits. Ranma's hopes had been dashed, but he was trying to work out the correct use for that one time cure. Should he save it for a fight? With his luck it would last maybe 30 seconds before he got knocked into a fountain. Maybe there was a better option.

His train of thought was derailed a bit when the now overcrowded condition of the car resulted in Hibari seating herself in his lap. He was certain it would make more sense for Suzume to sit in someone's lap. Or if one accounted for current heights having him in Hibari's lap would also seem more rational.

"I think that doctor was trying to flirt with me," a flustered Tsugumi said as they began to drive off.

"I suppose he wasn't bad looking," Hibari replied. "Kind of nervous though."

She smiled as they turned a corner and Ranma unconsciously held her in place.

"That's why I said 'trying'. He'll really need to work on his confidence if he wants to ever get a girl."

Hibari noticed a nervous blush grow on Suba's face and couldn't help but giggle a little.

"But you are right Hibari. He was cute..." Tsugumi replied.