Chapter 13: Waiting for A Cure
Ranma and Hibari made their way to school in very different moods. Ranma was annoyed at yet another day stuck female (he was really hoping Shui had good news for him today) and it showed.
Hibari meanwhile was practically skipping, having avoided her father's efforts to catch her with a kettle that morning. She knew hot water would find her eventually (Suzume had nearly spilled some soup on her at breakfast, which led Hibari to conclude the water magnetism was in effect even with just powdered Jusenkyo). The fact that anything was odd about her was concealed from the world by the blonde wig she was once more wearing.
"Shampoo!" a voice cried out, and suddenly Hibari found herself wrapped in the arms of a stranger wearing white robes.
A knee to the stomach was Hibari's first response.
"Who are you calling Shampoo?" Hibari demanded.
The long haired boy looked in Hibari's general direction with complete confusion on his face.
"I swore Shampoo went this way," he muttered, before noticing Ranma, "Oh! Shampoo!"
His glomp was intercepted by an uppercut to the chin from the small redhead.
"You always did have spirit my beloved Shampoo."
"I ain't Shampoo either!" Ranma shouted.
With that the stranger produced a pair of glasses a put them on.
"Neither of you are Shampoo? I suppose she was moving faster than I thought."
Hibari and Ranma just ignored him and continued walking to school. Neither wanted anything to do with a friend of Shampoo. Luckily Wakaba High was not very far away as the strange taller boy kept following them.
"Do you two know Shampoo? Has she talked about her Mousse?" he asked.
"Mousse? Like, the cake stuff?" Ranma asked.
"I am Mousse. I am Shampoo's closest compatriot. I am also the man she is destined to marry!"
Hibari and Ranma stopped and stared at him for a few moments. Both had to wonder how many fiancés Shampoo had.
"Oh yes, that reminds me, I have a mission while in Japan," Mousse continued with an almost conspiratorial tone. "Shampoo has been forced into two horribly unjust engagements and I must free her. I'm looking for some vile slime of a man named Saotome Ranma."
"I'm Saotome Ranma, if ya got a problem with me I'm happy to settle it like men!" the short redhead boasted.
Mousse adjusted his glasses, studying Ranma intensely.
"I know I sometimes make mistakes about appearances on the rare occasion, but you don't look like a man to me."
"I'm plenty man enough for Shampoo," Ranma protested.
"Er, yes... perhaps the issue is that you are married to the other villain I need to Oozora Hibari?"
"I'm Hibari."
Mousse turned and studied Hibari as well. Then studied Ranma again. Then began muttering something in Mandarin which sounded very confused. As the one long haired Chinese boy struggled to work out what this meant a second Chinese lad with hair just a bit longer arrived. Shui did not look happy to see Mousse.
"Oh, hey Shui. Do you know this guy?" Ranma asked.
Any response was cut off by Mousse suddenly speaking louder and in Japanese again.
"How can you both be girls and engaged to Shampoo!?"
"Maybe that why you never have any luck stupid Mousse," Shui said with a laugh while approaching the group. "You just no Shampoo type."
"So you do know him then?" Ranma asked. He'd deal with the gender confusion later.
"Yes... er, hear of him. Shampoo childhood friend. Then decide will marry Shampoo. Shampoo say no. He not get message. Shampoo complain about him many time," Shui explained.
(Hibari decided then and there she was going to start giving that boy some Japanese tutorials. Shui was their eyes and ears with the Amazons, they needed ears that could communicate. And clearly lessons at school were not helping enough.)
Mousse turned to the newcomer and studied Shui as well. Then Mousse's face flashed a spark of recognition.
"You! Guàiwù! Duòluò zhě!" Mousse began.
There was a great deal more angry Mandarin to follow as he launched a swarm of spike tipped chains at Shui. Shui dodged the assault by leaping onto the walls of Wakaba High. Shui shouted something Mandarin back while producing a jian from somewhere in the forest green hoodie he was wearing. The white robed Chinese boy lept after Shui and soon the two were engaged in a running battle across the school grounds. The rest of the student body fled as large iron balls on chains slammed into the ground, spears embedded themselves in trees, and at least one rubber ducky somehow flew through the glass of a third floor window.
Ranma and Hibari hurried after to watch the chaos. They weren't alone, as a number of braver students had found vantage points sheltered behind trees or outbuildings to watch the chaos.
"Are you running a bet Hibari?" a student asked.
"I don't know how good either of them are. No way I could give useful odds," she replied. Suba had stressed many times to only run odds she knew without doubt.
The sound of exploding chicken eggs hammered home how unpredictable a fight this was. Ranma was quite impressed with how well Shui seemed to expect Mousse's esoteric assaults. With only that jian the longer haired Chinese boy had managed to deflect practically every assault (as shown by the few small scratches in Shui's hoodie), and even returned a few projectiles like some sort of tennis game.
As Shui dashed in for a sword slice Mousse dodged and produced a pair of scissors. While Shui was still sliding past him the slightly taller Chinese boy sliced into Shui's hair with reckless zeal, messily lobbing it off to little more than shoulder length.
Shui stumbled forward, clearly stunned, and felt the new length gingerly.
"I don't know about you Han, but among my people long hair is reserved for only the best warriors. Only a fool would let his or hers be chopped in battle!" Mousse bragged.
Shui turned to him, body motions stiff and unsettling. Shui's red eyes were filled with hatred and a sickly blue aura seemed to flare up around the green clad boy. Suddenly he shot a hand up the sleeve of Mousse's long robe (a move that Mousse was clearly taken aback by) and pulled out an electric razor. Stumbling backwards it was clear even through his coke bottle glasses that Mousse had terror in his eyes.
"How did you know-?" Mousse began to ask when Shui lunged at him.
The ensuing head shaving happened with surprising speed and all those watching had to admit Shui's work was impressively even considering how much Mousse had struggled. Shui clearly had a good understanding of hair. When it was done Mousse was left in a state of shock.
Shui just glared at him before marching angrily into the school building. The various spectators followed after. Ranma and Hibari did so to check on Shui while the rest wanted to be well away from Mousse when he regained his senses.
Shui sulked the entire day, despite Ranma and Hibari's best efforts. Ranma grumbled about it just being hair until Hibari asked how he'd feel about losing his signature pigtail, at which point the short redhead became surprisingly flustered. He decided to focus on schoolwork after that, understanding several things better thanks to Hibari's tutoring (though he knew he wasn't going to start getting 90s any time soon... or even 80s probably.).
Hot water finally caught Hibari in the changing room just before gym. She was still impressed at how long she'd manage to last, considering her dad chasing her with a kettle in the morning, a thermos of soup nearly splashing her during lunch, and the teacher who almost spilled coffee on her on the way to gym class. She decided not to tell Ranma to see if he would notice as she caught up with him at the shoe lockers.
"I'm kind of worried about Shui," Ranma whispered as she approached. "He nearly knocked someone out with a soccer ball during gym class. Then he stormed off early."
"I'll admit, he's taking the haircut worse than I would," Hibari admitted.
"I'd say it's about on par," the busty redhead replied, rolling his eyes. "We should probably go check on him or something. That's what friends are supposed to do, right?"
Hibari stared down at him in confusion as she realised his tone was completely sincere in asking that.
"Yes. That is what friends do."
Ranma and Hibari set off towards the Neko Hanten, being fairly certain that Shui lived there. Ranma didn't like the idea of going into the lion's den, but he'd sworn to himself he'd start doing better at maintaining friendships, and wasn't going to quit now.
As the reached the door of the Chinese restaurant Ranma steeled himself. He didn't want to see Cologne or Shampoo, but there wasn't much choice. Marching in the pair saw the restaurant was quite quiet. There were two diners at one booth in a corner, and one man who seemed to be waiting to grab some take out. Behind the counter sat Cologne, with something around her neck.
The Phoenix pill.
All thoughts vanished from Ranma's head as he became focused on acquiring that cure. He barely heard the old ghoul's cackling as he lunged for her. Suddenly her staff slammed into his face and sent the short redhead flying out into the street. One lucky shot wasn't going to stop Ranma as he threw himself into a second assault.
Hibari raised an eyebrow as this second attempt went about the same. The third caused her to roll her eyes. The fourth saw her massage the bridge of her nose as she wondered when Ranma would admit defeat. Sure, the boy was cute (even when physically a girl), but Hibari was quite willing to admit he wasn't always the sharpest. (Not to say he was dumb. Just a little single minded at times.)
Something on the wall caught Hibari's attention, and she ducked as Ranma flew over her head. Snatching the piece of paper saying 'waitresses wanted' Hibari had an idea. She reached Cologne just as a panting Ranma was stumbling forward, fight still in his eyes despite the scrapes, bruises, and red hair sticking every which way.
"We'll take the jobs," Hibari announced, blocking Ranma with her outstretched arm.
"You two as waitresses? Hohoho," Cologne replied, chuckling. "I'll think about it."
The chuckling old woman pogo-ed towards the kitchen while Ranma gave Hibari a confused look.
"If we work here it will give us more opportunities to get our hands on that pill," Hibari whispered.
"Good idea. Though we will have to deal with Shampoo more," Ranma whispered back. "I don't like when she glomps me."
"It does warm my heart how loyal you are," Hibari replied with a wink.
Ranma glared back. He did have to wonder why he was so against marrying Shampoo though. She was plenty cute. About as cute as Hibari really. Ranma still felt strange admitting Hibari was cute, but if he could admit his own cursed form was objectively cute then he could admit Hibari was as well. Especially since Hibari was using that Nyanichuan powder, so he didn't have to feel nearly as guilty about it right now.
Wait.
Being close to whisper he realised Hibari's eyebrows were blonde again. Ranma was left wondering how long Hibari had been back to normal, and blushed a bit. Luckily Ranma's self reflection was interrupted as Cologne returned from the kitchen, passing some take out boxes to the now quite nervous man who'd been waiting when Ranma and Hibari had arrived. The old Amazon then turned to address the pair she saw as impending son-in-laws.
"I've thought your offer over. I accept. You two should be able to keep up with the high demands of working here."
Hibari gave a polite bow. "Thank you... Um, where is Shui? We were hoping to talk to him a bit."
Cologne raised an eyebrow. "What about?"
"We were just worried about him," Ranma replied. "One of Shampoo's weirdo friends attacked him. Mouse or somethin'. Upset him more than you'd expect."
"I can explain why," a man announced as he stepped out of the kitchen. Hibari recognised him as Shui's father. "You see, while Mousse might not have realised it, Shui's mother was Joketsuzoku. I did my best to raise my child to understand that code of honour. So naturally the haircut quite annoyed him."
"Huh," Ranma replied. "Well, he certainly won the fight. Gave Mousse a good haircut in return."
"Yes, Shui told me as much. He'll be quite happy to see you tomorrow, but would like some time to himself right now."
The next day Shui had been in a much better mood (and his hair had been cleaned up nicely). He was quite excited to give Ranma and Hibari tips on what to expect at the restaurant. On the way there from school Ranma swore the Chinese boy was almost skipping. As they entered by the back a pair of waitress uniforms were waiting for the two new employees.
"Shui has some chores to do in back. Not be free for a bit. Not until after dinner rush."
"Sure, we'll see you then," Hibari replied with a smile.
Despite Hibari's willingness to change together a flustered Ranma insisted that with them currently being different sexes they should change separately in the employee washroom.
A few minutes later Hibari and Ranma emerged to the front of the restaurant in uniform, and were promptly glomped by Shampoo.
"Shampoo so happy to be with Airen. Get to hug. Is very nice," she declared as she rested her head on Ranma's shoulder.
"There will be time for that later," Cologne stated.
As a disappointed Shampoo released the pair they were shocked to see her hair was radically different. Well, mostly just shorter. It was still up in ox horn style still, but (apart from her bangs) was massively shorter. Having heard so much about the importance of hair to Joketsuzoku yesterday the pair were left stunned.
"You like?" she asked, patting at it to show off. "Shampoo think that she in Tokyo now. Should have more trendy hair."
"Bu-but... the honour bit, and..." Hibari managed to mutter.
"We not in Joketsuzoku village now. Shorter hair popular here," Shampoo replied matter-of-factly. "Look cute, no?"
Ranma found himself silently agreeing that it was cute.
After the briefest of training by Shampoo (who somehow managed to ensure physical contact with Ranma every 20 seconds and Hibari once or twice) the pair were thrust into serving customers. And there were lots to serve. Word had gotten around Wakaba that Hibari and Ranma were going to be working there, and it seemed like half the male student body had shown up. Ranma also only realised at that point just how hot the bowls of ramen got, resulting in the need to effectively juggle them so he wouldn't burn. Still, every chance he got he tried to get his hands on the pill around Cologne's neck. The old crow was faster than him though.
The failure to capture the pill wasn't the only thing making Ranma's blood boil. Seeing Hibari flirting with customers upset him as well. He tried to pretend he was upset about the deception implied, but it was getting harder and harder to ignore the truth about his feelings towards the blonde. His rising temper was soothed a bit when he saw Hibari make a pass for the phoenix pill. The blonde had clearly picked up some pickpocketing tricks from family thugs, the subtlety of her hand gesture almost being missed by Ranma. Sadly it was only a sliver more effective than Ranma's frontal method, merely earning an amused chuckle from the old woman.
Then there was the pinching and leering. The small redhead was on the edge of breaking some fingers when Shampoo whispered that he needed to behave while passing him.
It had been a week, and they still hadn't gotten their hands on the pill. The extra pocket money was nice, and Hibari had her eye on a cute dress, but the lack of progress was frustrating. Ranma found himself lying on the grass in the yard behind the restaurant. The small redhead staring up at the blue sky. Shui and Hibari were sitting on the back stairs nearby.
"So... When are you planning to take me on that date?" Hibari asked Shui, her tone surprisingly casual.
"When Ranma cured," Shui replied. "Then we three go... do something?"
Ranma sat up in shock and stared at the Chinese boy. "Three?"
"Shui... the word 'date' usually implies just two people," Hibari tried to explain, wiping away a bit of embarrassment sweat.
"Oh. Used wrong word? What is word for when three people?"
"Just 'hanging out' is good," Hibari replied.
Shui looked lost in thought as a response.
"Bleh," Ranma grumbled, "We're going to have to go back in there soon. At least you're working right now Shui. Shampoo seems to really dislike you. Which is good for us, not having to deal with her while you're around."
"Yeah, I don't think I've actually seen you and her in the same room. How do you two manage to live in the same building?" Hibari asked. There was a bit of suspicion in her voice.
"Er, it large building," Shui answered. He seemed a bit nervous.
Ranma stretched and stood up (he was developing a chronic backache with being locked), preparing to go deal with more customers. He really hoped nobody would pinch today. He hated the pinchers. Especially since he wasn't allowed to retaliate. His mental complaining was interrupted by Cologne appearing, with a bag labelled 'chestnuts' in her arms.
"Follow me," she announced.
The trio followed her with a bit of confusion. The old woman soon lit up a small fire and poured the chestnuts in. Ranma and Hibari just grew visibly more confused. Then after letting the chestnuts heat up for a few seconds Cologne struck, pulling out every chestnut in a split second, her movements so fast it seemed like she had a dozen arms.
"That, youngins, was the Kachū Tenshin Amaguriken, or Chestnut Fire Fist. An ancient method to train one in rapid strikes. If you ever want to get the pill off me you will need to master that technique. Good luck."
The tiny old woman wandered away, laughing jovially. As she reached the back door of the restaurant she turned back to the three of them.
"I still expect you to work this shift though. Get moving!"